She Don't Fade

by anothergleekgirl

[FINCHEL-Canon to 4x16 Feud, then AU] Finn & Rachel meet by chance for the first time in 1.5 yrs on a broken-down subway car in NYC. Rachel has dark secrets she doesn't want Finn to know & demons still plague her past, present and future. Will she ever let Finn back in, and if she does will he want to stay? Cast: Barole/Brody/Klaine/Tike. ***SEE TWs FOR SOME CHAPTERS***

10. Little Light of Mine

A/N: TRIGGER WARNING - Slightly graphic details of assault / SA throughout this chapter

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Chapter 10 :: Little Light of Mine

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Stars come down in you
And love, love, love
You can't give it away

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Rachel's dads and Finn's parents had all flown in for the trial. Rachel had, on some levels, hoped her fathers would not attend, but they insisted on being there as a show of support. Burt volunteered to take on babysitting duties for the duration with Brittany and Dani serving as backup daycare, while Carole insisted she'd be there in court with Rachel as a motherly source of support.

The trial was presided over by Judge Simon Walsh. On day one, each of the attorneys made their opening statements, then ADA Sarfati called her first witness, Cassandra July, to testify on behalf of the prosecution.

"Miss July, please tell the jury what you witnessed at your school on the evening of Thursday, February 21st, 2013."

"Yes well, um... it was late, nearly 9 PM. I was getting ready to head home for the evening and realized I'd left my bag in the changing room. As I made my way towards the room, maybe within 20 or 30 feet from the entrance, I saw someone whom I recognized as Mr Weston exiting that room, rushing out in the opposite direction as me on the other end of the hall. He turned the corner at the end of the corridor and I lost sight of him."

Miss Sarfati turned and gestured toward Brody. "How certain are you that it was this man, the defendant, that you saw exiting the changing room that night?"

"One hundred percent. He'd been my teaching assistant for the last three semesters and was my student for two years before that. When he entered that hallway, he looked directly at me and appeared startled, clearly not expecting to see anyone else there, least of all me. So yes, I feel quite certain it was him."

"Did you expect to see the defendant in the school at this hour of the night?"

"No. To be honest, I didn't expect to see him on school property at all, given that he had just been expelled from the program earlier that afternoon. So no, I didn't expect to see him."

"Mr Weston was expelled? Are you aware of the reasons why the defendant was expelled?"

"Yes–"

Miss Kendall, Brody's public defender, stood up. "Objection. Your Honor, Mr Weston's education records are irrelevant to these proceedings."

"The People beg to differ your Honor; if we may proceed with our questions, we believe we can show how the incident that led to the defendant's expulsion acted as the catalyst that directly connects to Miss Berry and this case," Miss Sarfati reasoned.

"Objection overruled. The witness may answer the question," the judge looked at Cassandra and nodded.

Cassandra took a sip of water and then continued with her response. "Yes, um, I knew why Mr Weston was expelled. It had been brought to my attention that he'd potentially been engaging in illegal sexual behavior. Even if that behavior took place on his own time and not on school grounds, it violated the school's policies on ethics and conduct, particularly those that apply to faculty since he was a teaching assistant at the time. Three students approached me after hearing an argument between Miss Berry and Mr Weston with concerns about him continuing as their TA if this information was proven to be true. I was forced to bring the matter to the attention of the Dean of the program for consideration."

"Was the decision yours with respect to Mr Weston's expulsion?"

"No. However, since I had personal knowledge that Mr Weston had previously been engaged in this rumored behavior in the past, I felt it was my duty to inform the Dean of that as well."

"Can you explain why you offered him a teaching assistant position if you knew he'd engaged in these illegal activities in the past?"

"Yes well, at the time when he was being considered for the position, he had assured me he was no longer involved in those activities. It was a judgment call to give him the benefit of the doubt at the time."

Based on the way he glared at her, Brody was clearly unhappy with Cassie's testimony, now learning for the first time that she had direct involvement in his expulsion. Rachel hadn't been aware of all these details either until now, and seeing Brody's expression as her testimony continued sent a cold chill up her spine. Rachel had seen that same look on Brody's face before; it's the one that still haunted her dreams. She couldn't help but wonder if he would have attacked Cassie the same way he'd attacked her if he'd known this information sooner.

"So it's safe to say as a faculty member, you were obligated to report your student's concerns about their teaching assistant to the Dean, and the rest was left to the school to determine the repercussions for Mr Weston, if any?"

"Yes, that's correct."

"Fine. You mentioned having 'personal knowledge' of Mr Weston's illegal behavior. Can you please be more specific as to the nature of his behavior and how you became aware of it?"

"Well. I suppose putting it bluntly, Mr Weston confessed to me while he was my student in his sophomore year that he'd been working as a male escort in order to cover the cost of his tuition and living costs. He told me he'd been unable to find sufficient employment otherwise, and he bragged about how just one client per night was enough to cover his expenses. From what he told me, these women were usually older, often wealthy and married. He said he was paid for providing them.. company for the evening, and often made extra cash for performing sexual favors."

"So he told you he was a male gigolo, a prostitute?"

"Yes, essentially."

"And he was being paid specifically for performing these services, for providing sexual favors?"

Miss Kendall again jumped to her feet. "OBJECTION! This testimony is all hearsay, your Honor. Unless the witness herself has firsthand knowledge or had personally exchanged cash for these services with Mr Weston, she can't know whether he actually received payment. Further, this line of questioning is irrelevant to this case, and Mr Weston has not been convicted of any such alleged offenses as of this date."

"Your Honor, hearsay is hardly applicable since Miss Kendall's client is present in the court and if so inclined, could certainly take the stand himself to refute anything Miss July has stated. Furthermore, the People would like to submit Exhibits labeled 21-B and 21-C, an arrest warrant and police report filed ten days ago, charging the defendant in this case with these very same alleged crimes. Crimes for which he is currently being held without bond, pending the outcome of this case. Named witnesses who've already submitted sworn depositions in this report include Miss Rachel Berry as well as her roommate, Miss Santana Lopez, and Miss Berry's fiancé, Mr Finn Hudson."

"I see that your witness Miss July also provided a statement with respect to these allegations as well," Judge Walsh asked the ADA.

"That's correct, your Honor. As I said earlier, we feel we can prove these incidents are all linked to the chain of events that resulted in Miss Berry's assault and have led us here today."

The judge looked over his trifocals that rested low on the bridge of his nose to Miss Kendall with exasperation. "Counselor, you've received a copy of these exhibits and are aware of your clients' additional pending charges?"

"Yes your honor, I am, however, that case is a separate matter and–"

"And it seems, as Miss Sarfati has already pointed out, it in fact IS relevant and bears some connection to the matter we are all here to discuss today. Unless you have another objection, I don't see a reason to prohibit these exhibits or exclude this witness's testimony."

"Not at this time your honor," Ms Kendall stated with defeat and sat down. As Brody hotly whispered in his attorney's ear, Judge Walsh turned his attention back to Ms Sarfati.

"Alright then madam Prosecutor. The Defense's objection is overruled. I'll allow the questioning related to the prostitution charges to continue – for now; however, Miss Sarfati, if I fail to see this connection being made, I will sustain the original objection and have all related testimony stricken from the record, as well as consider a contempt charge against you. Are we clear?"

"Crystal. Thank you, your Honor."

"Very good. You may proceed, and the witness may answer" the judge gestured to Cassandra.

Cassie looked to the ADA, "Um, I'm sorry can you repeat the question?"

"Yes. Was the defendant, to your knowledge, paid cash or other goods in exchange for providing sexual services in his capacity as a male escort."

"Yes, to my knowledge, he was."

"And how did you come by this knowledge?"

"Well, Mr Weston was more than just my student. We um, we had been seeing one another socially for a period of time since his sophomore year."

"Socially. Is that to say you had a prior romantic relationship with Mr Weston while he was your student?"

Cassandra sighed and made brief eye contact with Brody. "Yes. It was frowned upon behavior, and violation of faculty ethics, but yes. Mr Weston and I were involved in an intimate, romantic relationship. It was during the course of that relationship when he admitted to me the details of his 'secret job', as we came to refer to it."

"But Miss July, you mentioned in earlier testimony that the defendant had assured you he was no longer engaged in these illegal escort services at the time he became a TA for your dance class, is that correct?"

"Yes."

"So you're saying you believed him, simply took him at his word?"

"At that time, since we were still romantically involved, yes, I trusted his word. See, what you've got to understand is that Mr Weston has a certain charming charisma which is very tempting; he's good at manipulating women by exploiting their weaknesses, usually for his own personal gain. I can attest to that from first hand experience. For the length of time we'd been involved, I truly hadn't considered he'd manipulate me in such ways, so you see, it came as quite the shock later on to learn that he'd indeed been lying to me."

"So the fight that Miss Berry and Mr Weston had, the one in which other students overheard and reported to you, that fight was based on Mr Weston also hiding his 'secret job' from Miss Berry, is that correct?"

"That is my understanding, that Miss Berry had found out about his illicit side job and had been hiding it from her, yes."

"Objection, hearsay!"

"Sustained."

The ADA looked unbothered by this and pivoted. "Although those students in question are present and will be called later, I'll rephrase. Were you aware that Mr Weston had been seeing Miss Berry romantically at the time when your students reported their concerns?"

"I was, yes. Mr Weston and I had not been in an exclusive relationship, but we'd agreed to a policy of honesty. So he informed me of his relationship with Miss Berry when it began, even told me when he was moving in with her after a few months that they'd been seeing one another. Apart from that, Miss Berry herself had confronted me numerous times with respect to my personal relationship with, as she put it, the man she was seeing."

Rachel felt Finn's grip tightening on her hand and noticed his leg begin bouncing. She knew this part of the testimony was going to dredge up that painful, difficult period between them after he'd returned from Georgia, and though they'd talked the subject nearly to death at home, she knew it still weighed heavy on his conscience. There would probably always be a part of him that felt responsible for this nightmare; she just hoped he was able to hold it together to get through Cassandra's testimony.

"So you were aware Mr Weston and Miss Berry lived together for a period of time and were engaged in a consensual, sexual relationship."

"As far as I knew, yes."

"And were you still seeing Mr Weston during the timeframe when the defendant was involved in this relationship with Miss Berry?"

"At first, yes. However, once he moved in with her, I determined it was for the best if we ended things and kept our relationship strictly professional."

"Was Miss Berry, to your knowledge, aware of your intimate relationship with the defendant?"

"Based on at least one phone call I had with her, yes, I believe she was well aware."

"Miss July, you were Miss Berry's dance instructor for nearly a full year, is that correct?"

"Yes."

"How would you describe her as a student?"

Cassie sharply inhaled and a slight smirk appeared on her face. "Rachel Berry was very determined. Arrogant, stubborn. Sometimes insolent and petulant. One might call her a diva. She didn't take constructive criticism very well, and honestly, she was a disruption in my class more than once. However, all the great ones are like this. Her tenacity and work ethic were stronger than I've ever seen in a freshman, as was her potential. I see a handful of these types of self-obsessed personalities roll through my studio every so often, but they don't usually have the talent to back their egos; I honestly can't say that about Miss Berry."

"So she was..."

"She was a better than mediocre dancer with excellent acting skills and a million-dollar touched-by-the-hand-of-god voice box; she was on the verge of becoming the next big thing on Broadway."

"So she had the goods, as one might say?"

"She definitely had the goods. Despite all her annoying whiny stubbornness, I very much enjoyed watching her grow and blossom in my class. She worked her ass off to be the best, to rise to the top of the theatrical echelon and was certainly well on her way. So I was quite upset to learn she'd dropped out of school as a result of this incident. Then again, having seen for myself what happened to her, I guess I understood why."

Rachel felt the sting of tears burning her eyes and couldn't help but meet Cassandra July's piercing hazel green gaze as she paid her the greatest compliment that any faculty at NYADA had ever given her, apart from when she'd won the Winter Showcase as a freshman. It was the highest praise from the most unlikely source, and Rachel still couldn't believe her ears. She also didn't miss the doleful grin that Finn flashed her, and the guilt for walking away from her school and her dreams was twisting in her gut once again.

Miss Sarfati nodded in understanding. "I see... So Miss July, returning your attention to the night of February 21st, once you saw Mr Weston exit the corridor, you entered the changing room, correct? What did you find?"

"Yes that's correct. Not all the lights were turned on in that room, so it was somewhat dim in parts of the space, but it was lit enough that I saw... my student, Rachel Berry, laying on the floor behind a bench, flat on her back."

"Did you call out to her or attempt any communication?"

"I did, but she wasn't answering, and I wasn't even sure whether she was conscious at first. I thought she might have simply fainted or something, but when I got closer, I realized that something much worse must have happened. Her eyes, well, one of them, was wide open and I can only guess she was in shock."

"Objection, the witness is not a doctor or medical expert."

"Your Honor, the witness is merely offering her own observations as to the state of Miss Berry. It is her own personal opinion being proffered and the People are not suggesting that she's providing any expert medical testimony."

"Overruled. Continue," the judge motioned to the ADA.

"Thank you your Honor. So Miss July, from what you observed, what condition was Miss Berry in? Can you describe her physical appearance for the jury?"

Cassandra looked sympathetically at Rachel for a moment then refocused on the ADA. "She was... nude from the waist down. Her top was torn. I saw what I assumed were her panties laying several feet away, torn to pieces and they appeared to have some drops of blood on them. The clothes that were still on her body were all tattered and blood soaked. Her breasts were partially exposed. She had a bloody nose and her left eye was purple and very swollen. It appeared to me that it was badly injured. Clearly she had been attacked physically, beaten... and seeing her in that state of undress, plus the scrapes, smeared blood and other marks I saw on her upper thighs and around her torso, I feared she'd been sexually assaulted as well. It was bad."

Finn's jaw clenched listening to Miss July's testimony and his unoccupied hand curled into a fist so tight he was sure he was cutting into himself with his own fingernails. He breathed deeply and tightened his grip on Rachel's hand, raising their joined hands to his chest, holding them against his heart. He forced himself to glance at her and found her staring straight ahead, almost like she was somewhere else, in a trance. He felt her squeeze his hand a little, so he knew she was doing her best to hold her own emotions together.

Finn glanced at Brody and had to force himself to remain seated when every fiber of his being wanted to give in to the fire in his blood and to lunge across the room to tear him limb from limb. Rachel had described to Finn what happened to her that night as best as she could recall, but hearing an outside third party describe what THEY saw was something else entirely, something he wasn't fully prepared to listen to.

He swallowed the large lump that was forming in his throat and tried to force his eyes anywhere but on Brody, deciding if he looked at him for too much longer he was simply going to snap and tear the fucker's throat out with his bare hands.

Miss Sarfati continued with her questions. "What did you do next?"

"I tried to assess the extent of Rachel's injuries. As a teacher, in particular a dance instructor, we are required to maintain a certain level of basic first aid training. I checked her pulse, which was extremely high. I noticed the redness and bruising along her ribs but I couldn't tell whether she had any broken bones since Rachel was still unresponsive, and of course I didn't feel it appropriate to try to move her. I'd asked her what happened repeatedly, but she remained silent, staring blankly, and trembling. It was obvious she was terribly hurt and needed medical attention. Then I heard two female students passing by in the hallway and yelled for them to come and assist me."

"This would be Miss Rebecca Lewis and Miss Erin McElroy?"

"Correct. I sent one of them to find fresh towels from the shower room, and asked the other to stand guard at the door of the changing room to keep out any additional prying eyes. When Becca returned with the towels, I asked her to go notify lobby security to be alert for police and the ambulance. While she was gone, Erin mentioned that she'd just seen Brody running past them in the hall and that she saw blood on his shirt. By that point I found my cell phone and called 911."

"So it was you who spoke to the emergency dispatcher; did you report Mr Weston's name as a potential suspect or person of interest related to this situation during that call?"

"Yes I did."

"Your Honor, the People would like to submit into evidence Exhibit 15, an audio recording of the actual 911 call placed by Miss July."

Judge Walsh addressed the defense attorney. "Any objection to this exhibit Miss Kendall?"

"No your honor." With that, the judge accepted the exhibit into evidence and approved the ADA's request to play the recording for the jury.

Finn watched Rachel's face as the recording played across the PA system in the courtroom. Cassie sounded somewhat panicked and her description of the call was very clearly of a fragile girl who'd been brutally raped and beaten, one whom she sounded very concerned about. Rachel was still staring blankly straight ahead, and Finn leaned into her side a little, whispering in her ear "You made it baby. It's okay."

Once the recording ended, the ADA resumed with her questions. "So Miss July, after ending the 911 call, you stayed with Miss Berry until police and paramedics arrived, is that correct?"

"Yes."

"What did you do while you waited for them to arrive?"

"I covered Rachel with the towels; in case it was shock I wanted to keep her warm, plus I felt she needed her modesty covered. I held her hand. I offered her some water and tried to get her to drink but she didn't respond and wouldn't accept it. Except for the trembling, she was practically catatonic. She stayed that way until the first male paramedic arrived and touched her arm, then she became extremely combative.

"Fortunately, one of the medics was a woman, and it took her and myself to convince Rachel to let us put her on the stretcher and get her to the hospital. The female medic gave her a mild sedative and we eventually managed to calm her down enough to get her to the ambulance. As they were loading her in, Rachel finally looked at me, grabbed my arm and squeezed tight. She whispered 'Brody'. I asked if she meant Brody Weston and did he do this to her. She nodded yes and repeated his name, then she blacked out."

Santana sighed loud enough to catch Finn's attention, and when he looked in her direction, he noticed his mother, who was sitting directly behind Rachel, wiping tears from her eyes with a tissue and holding Hiram's hand. Leroy and Hiram seemed beside themselves with shock and grief. Carole leaned forward to hand a tissue to Finn, which was when he realized he had tears streaming down his own cheeks.

Rachel looked up at Finn and offered him a small smile, squeezing his hand tightly. She leaned over to whisper in his ear "I'm still here. I'm okay because you're with me." He nodded once and pressed a quick soft kiss on top of her head. The action was probably frowned upon in the courtroom, but he didn't give a damn. If he'd had his way, Rachel would be in his lap with his arms cocooning her and he'd be shielding her from all this madness. The kiss was the smallest gesture he could offer at that moment to provide that connection to her.

Cassie went on to explain her ride to the hospital in the ambulance, and how she'd gone through Rachel's bag and found her phone, then called Santana to meet them at the emergency room. She had also contacted the Dean of the Music Department, Madame Carmen Tibideaux, to report the incident. She explained how she stayed present in the exam room at the hospital with Rachel until Santana arrived, then gave details of her meeting with the detectives who'd arrived at the hospital to take Rachel's statement.

Miss Kendall had hoped to somehow discredit Cassandra on cross examination due to her intimate relationship with Brody, but since ADA Sarfati planned ahead for exactly that eventuality, her strategy for the prosecution was to present that information up front. If there was nothing to hide, there'd be little else for the defense to say to try and minimize the damage Cassandra's testimony caused to Brody's case. Coming clean about everything up front lent credibility to her character and there was nothing the defense could do about it.

Next, Miss Sarfati called each of the two paramedics, then the school security guard, who confirmed seeing Brody Weston enter then exit the school in a hurried manner with what appeared to be blood on his shirt. The school's security cameras confirmed Brody's appearance as well the time when he arrived and left the facility.

The students who'd reported their concerns stemming from the argument overheard between Rachel and Brody gave their testimony, as did the two female students who had assisted Miss July, each confirming their teacher's story and also admitting to seeing Brody fleeing the school with a bloody shirt and bruised or injured looking hands.

On cross examination, Miss Kendall tried to suggest it wasn't Brody they'd seen, or that it was possible they couldn't have identified blood on his clothing from a distance. All the defense needed was one juror to have a reasonable doubt, but her questions and attempts to discredit these witnesses truthfully did little to help their case, especially in light of the security camera images.

The prosecution also called Carmen Tibideaux to the stand, who confirmed the circumstances surrounding Brody's expulsion, also mentioning he was permitted 24 hours to collect all his personal effects from the premises, which explained why his student ID and security badge for the main entrance still worked that evening.

Day one of the trial concluded at the end of Madame Tibideaux's testimony. By the end of that first day Finn was completely drained and emotionally wrecked. He and Rachel had already planned a phone appointment with Dr Reyes after court in case they needed it. Dr Reyes didn't normally have late office hours on that day, but was making an exception for the young couple considering the circumstances, and Rachel was especially glad since Finn seemed to need the support more than she did that night.

The following day, the prosecution called the officers who responded to the 911 call at NYADA, the detectives who'd taken Rachel's statement at the hospital, the emergency room physician who treated her and conducted the rape kit collection, and several other hospital staff including a forensics expert who confirmed the semen and other DNA collected from Rachel that night matched Brody.

The arresting officer in the prostitution case was also called, as were the two detectives (Brown and White) Santana had given her secret hotel video footage to. The defense tried to object to these witnesses, but the prosecution maintained they were called to corroborate the pending charges in the police report.

Miss Kendall tried her best on cross-examination to sprinkle doubt over the handling of the chain of evidence – specifically the medical evidence – and even called into question the character of one of the responding officers, but she sort of knew she'd be making very little impact at this point.

It's hard being a public defender, especially when your client is so obviously guilty and faced with a mountain of evidence confirming that he is, but her job was to try and minimize the level of guilt or – best case scenario – create enough room for doubt that there could possibly be a not-guilty verdict on at least some of the charges.

The last witness for the prosecution on day two was Brody's former roommate, Justin Rockwell, who spoke to the state of mind Brody was in that day prior to the attack, as well as seeing him return to the dorm room in a disheveled state including bloody clothes and having the appearance of being in a recent fight or physical altercation. His testimony included recalling Brody ranting like a crazy person after being expelled and blaming Rachel for everything.

. . . . .

On the third day, Rachel was called to testify. Finn knew she was terrified more than anything of being cross-examined by the defense attorney, but they had talked all that morning and the previous night, and he'd reassured her that she just needed to look to him or Santana if she needed strength, to think of it as if she were having a therapy session with Dr Reyes, and just tell her truth.

Once Rachel was on the stand, however, she found it very difficult to look at Finn. He was already struggling to hold himself together after hearing Cassandra's testimony the first day, as well as the testimony from the doctor, who described in even greater detail the exact extent of Rachel's injuries the day before. Finn had clung to Rachel in bed both nights, keeping her locked in his tight embrace, and she knew he cried himself to sleep.

As much as they tried to be one another's strength, it was killing Rachel knowing what Finn was feeling as he learned all these things in such graphic detail for the first time. She knew her fathers were suffering through it too, with Leroy even excusing himself from the courtroom partway through the emergency room doctor's testimony, particularly when the photographic evidence was presented that showed exactly what injuries Rachel sustained.

Judge Walsh called a recess after the photographs were presented, and Finn discreetly excused himself to the men's room so he could throw up. Twice.

Miss Sarfati kept Rachel's questions short and to the point, having her walk the jury through a summary of her relationship with Brody, from the time they met until the breakup argument that occurred at NYADA earlier in the day, and finally the events of the assault from that night.

She asked Rachel a few questions about her recovery and the impact this event has had on her life. Rachel's answers were calm, clear, and resolved. She discussed her darker moments and her nearly suicidal thoughts, but also impressed upon everyone that she feels luckier than many assault victims because of her particular support system.

Finn was so proud of her. He never took his eyes away from Rachel while she was on the stand. He'd already known what her responses would be, and put on his best mask of strength for her. She did chance a look at him briefly several times during her testimony, and when their eyes connected, Finn did his best to swallow down the pain and convey only love and support.

Miss Kendall only asked four questions of Rachel on cross, all directed to the idea that Rachel had willingly dated Brody, had maintained an open, mutual and consensual sexual relationship with him, and whether or not they used birth control including what method was used.

In truth, the woman seemed as though she didn't want to question Rachel at all, and Rachel was thankful that her time under cross-examination seemed to be so short, relieved that the experience wasn't nearly as painful as she thought it would be... Until the fourth and final question was asked.

The fourth question had Finn seeing red.

"Miss Berry, isn't it in fact true that you led Mr Weston on to believe that you had true feelings for him, that you loved him?" she quickly followed that with "And isn't it also true that he in fact could have never taken advantage of you, considering you'd already given yourself to him so freely only days prior?"

Finn felt San's hands grip his knee as if to hold him place. She seemed to sense his desire to jump up and tell that bitch defense attorney where she could shove her asinine questions – but then he realized he didn't have to; Rachel came to her own rescue and bitch-slapped her for him.

"Miss Kendall, I'm quite certain you are well informed of the legal definition of the word CONSENT, especially as it pertains to the act of intimacy. I'm also sure you're perfectly aware that when a relationship ends, that is an implied end to any prior consent given; but just in case there was any confusion or clarification needed, the fact that I repeatedly said NO and STOP was me unquestionably withdrawing any prior consent, something which I repeated throughout your client's barbaric unwanted unwelcome ASSAULT on my person.

"So to aptly answer your preposterous question, YES, he in fact did take advantage, with brutal force, in spite of my withdrawn consent, against my will. I'll add one final truth: had I known what your client was capable of, I wouldn't have even given the time of day let alone any form of consent to him in the first place."

Finn sniffed and nodded, unclenched his trembling fists and held his chin out in pride. "That's my girl," he muttered under his breath. He felt San pat his knee and saw her nodding and smirking in approval as well.

. . . . .

A two hour lunch break was called after Rachel's testimony concluded, and the ADA advised them that Santana would be the next and final witness for the prosecution after lunch.

"You did really great, Rach. I'm so proud of you baby," Finn whispered in her ear and kissed her temple as the two sat curled together in the corner booth of the busy diner. Rachel simply kissed him lightly on the lips and rested her head on his shoulder without a word.

"Rachel, are you feeling okay, honey? You've hardly touched your food," Carole observed.

"Yes sweetie, you barely had anything for breakfast today either," Hiram added.

The petite brunette merely shook her head and burrowed deeper into Finn's side. "I don't have much appetite right now, but I'm fine thank you."

"Berry, EAT. Your sugar's gonna drop and we'll end up with a repeat of the paternity court hearing," Sanata ordered while pointing her fork with a black olive skewered on the end of it at the smaller girl. "You want me to come over there and force feed you? I've done it before, you know I'll do it again." Rachel scowled in response, but she sat up, drank her tomato juice, popped a grape in her mouth and nibbled on some kiwi to appease her friend.

. . . . .

When they returned to court, as expected, Santana was called to the stand. She faced Rachel and squeezed both her hands tightly before standing and smoothing her navy blue pencil skirt. She was sworn in and took her seat on the witness stand.

San had offered Rachel the opportunity to discuss what she planned to say today, but Rachel chose not to hear it in advance. She knew what Tana could possibly talk about, after all, she'd already lived through it.

The ADA had Santana answer questions from her perspective of the events on the night of the attack, but mostly she was there to explain what happened to Rachel afterward, in the days, weeks and months that followed.

"After Rachel was released from the hospital the day after her attack, she was in bad shape. I mean yeah, broken ribs, broken eye socket, cut and bruised in so many places, but also, broken spirit. If you could know this girl like I do, you'd understand the... the LIGHT that's normally synonymous with her, it was gone.

"She's normally the brightest shining star – and I don't just mean in the sense of her confidence or determination, or even her talent and her Broadway aspirations – although those were all defining traits of hers too, up until the attack anyway; but I mean in the sense of her heart. It took a long time for me to appreciate her ability to bring out the best in everyone she knows and cares about, but that's one of her best and most identifiable characteristics. She only ever saw the best in everyone around her, and expected them to never let themselves down. Those of us who know her well are all the better because of her.

"But after the attack... that bastardo over there took all of that away from her. She was so shattered. He took her light. She wouldn't eat, couldn't sleep – not without nightmares. She couldn't care for herself, really. She said it didn't matter anymore because she didn't matter anymore. Of course, I spent nearly every day fighting with her about this. . . Some days were better than others, but all days were some form of hell. A hell of HIS making, for her and for me."

"Objection, speculation."

"Sustained. Miss Lopez, please refrain from using accusatory language in your responses."

ADA Sarfati looked at Santana. "Continue Miss Lopez. You were explaining the changes in Rachel following the attack, her lethargy and indifference."

"Right. As if she wasn't dealing with enough emotionally, then she found out she was pregnant. I didn't know about the pregnancy for a few weeks until her morning sickness kicked in, and when I found out, it was another long while before I knew there was a question of the baby's paternity. During that time in between, she seemed convinced that she was – as she put it – a human garbage can. Not worthy of bringing new life into the world. She said she didn't think she could mother a child no matter who the father was. And then she shut down completely. She wouldn't even speak for a few days. I think... I think she went a little insane for a while. She would sit in front of a mirror and slap herself repeatedly or tear her hair out, and I'd hear her saying the most horrible things about herself, slut, whore, trash. When she finally did speak, she would talk in a way that made it seem like... like she couldn't go on."

"So she seemed to become suicidal?"

"Yes. She never came right out and said she wanted to die, but the fact is, she was basically dying a little more everyday anyway, from not eating to the physical toll the stress was taking on her body, to the emotional toll on her mental health. I was absolutely becoming afraid for her life.

"She had tried living in denial about her attack, and refused any psychiatric help. My cousin had severe shell shock, PTSD from being a soldier in Afghanistan, and what I saw in Rachel reminded me so much of what he was suffering. She was just... she was fading away, right before my eyes.

"Then came the night terrors... oh god, the nightmares were some of the worst. She'd blocked that night from memory in the beginning, but over the next couple weeks, the memories of the assault were coming out in her dreams. Every single night I had to calm her, she was cowering in closets, or trying to crawl under her bed, screaming bloody murder. I had to get stitches from the glass she threw at me one time.

"One night she actually made it outside our apartment and was trying to run away, to where I have no idea. She just ran out, barefoot in skimpy sleep clothes at 2 AM into the street in the freezing rain. I pulled her out of the path of a bus just in time. She was reliving the attack over and over and I didn't know how to help her.

"Finally there was a breaking point, she was hitting rock bottom. I came home from work one night, maybe four or five weeks after the attack, and I found her in the bathroom. She had taken the blade out of a razor and had it sitting on the edge of the sink. I noticed a couple of very small cuts against her neck. When I tried to ask her what she was doing, she smashed the bathroom mirror with her fist, cutting her hands up pretty badly in the process and screaming how ugly she was and how she just needed his voice to go away."

"His voice? Did she say whose voice she was referring to?"

"Yeah, Brody's. Brody was constantly in her head telling her to just die already. I couldn't get her to calm down that night. I... I had no choice. Her parents were out of the country and it was up to me... I had to call an ambulance and had her committed involuntarily. She ended up staying in the psych ward for around three weeks.

"To make matters worse, I found out that not long after the attack, she had cut off ties with the most important person in her life. Her um, her fiancé, her high school sweetheart who, well, I can only explain that he's like, the other half of her. Her soulmate. They were separated at the time, living in different states, attending different schools, but there was no question they still loved each other and when the timing was right, they'd be together again. Everyone who knows them knows that...

"But after the attack, she shut him out of her life. She told me this monster over here made her feel so incapable of loving anyone and so unworthy of being loved, he almost managed to do what nobody else had ever done in the four years those two had been together: he nearly severed their tether. Because Rachel, she said she felt inhuman. Nonexistent.

"Once she was hospitalized and getting the proper psychiatric care she needed, THAT's when I finally learned there was a question of the baby's paternity. Rachel told me then, she might have aborted the baby, except it might be a baby born from love, not one conceived in the most cruel, cold way. And yet, she still wouldn't let Finn – that's her fiancé's name – she wouldn't let Finn back into her life. She said he deserved better than a dirty, broken slut and it was better off for him to just find someone else."

Finn's gasp was audible and his heart clenched. Rachel looked up at him with shame clearly painted on her face. She mouthed 'I'm sorry' but he merely shook his head, laced their fingers tighter together, pulled her arm closer to him and kissed the top of her head as Sanatana continued her monologue.

"She wouldn't tell ANYONE else in her life about the attack or the pregnancy – not even her parents. I was the only one who knew, and that was only because I was her roommate and because her teacher notified me. Otherwise, she probably would have hidden everything from me too, and then she might not have survived.

"I pushed her daily, to eat, to bathe, to function. Not just for herself, but for the tiny miracle that was growing inside of her. No matter who the father was, that baby was innocent, and I think Rachel began to realize this and that child was what really helped become the turning point in her recovery. I think that baby was the only thing that saved her. Otherwise, this might be a murder trial right now, not just an assault trial."

"OBJECTION, Your Honor!" Miss Kendall yelled, but it seemed Judge Walsh was already ahead of her as he looked at Santana like a parent who'd just caught his child sneaking in past curfew.

"Yes, the jury will disregard that last comment. Miss Lopez, once again, please restrict your testimony to your first hand accounts of what actually happened and avoid speculating what might have been. You may proceed."

"Sorry judge. As I was saying... That poor excuse for a human being over there, Brody Weston, he's the worst thing that could've ever happened to Rachel Berry. He's a sexual deviant and violent and cunning and maybe a damned good actor apparently since he had a lot of people fooled about who he really is–"

"Objection, your Honor! The defense requests all of Ms Lopez's last comments be stricken from the record as slanderous and designed to intentionally cause harm to the character of my client!"

The judge sighed and raised a hand to Miss Kendall, then turned his whole body to completely face Santana. "Young lady, do you understand what was just stated to you a few moments ago about not speculating in your testimony?"

"Sure I do, judge. But my testimony is only stating the facts."

He nodded and took a deep exasperated breath. "Miss Lopez, it's clear that you are protective of your friend, and that your testimony is in support of the victim in this case; however, that does not give you free license to offer your own opinions of the defendant in a slanderous manner."

"Judge, my understanding of the definition of the word SLANDER means you cannot make FALSE accusations solely for the purpose of damaging someone's character or credibility; every word I've said about the defendant over there has been one hundred percent accurate and truthful based on my experience and personal knowledge of him."

Miss Sarfati did her best to stifle a chuckle that was threatening to burst from her chest. "Your honor, the people have asked this witness to provide her first hand account of what Miss Berry experienced after the assault. This witness was also roommates with the defendant during the time he lived with Miss Berry, and therefore had personal knowledge of his character at that time."

Judge Walsh looked at the ADA, then Santana, then back to Miss Kendall. "Objection overruled. Take a seat counselor," He gestured to Miss Kendall then looked sternly at Santana once again. "Miss Lopez, you're treading dangerously close to being held in contempt of court. I've granted you more than a little leeway here; I hope you'll take that under consideration as you finish your testimony. . . Now. You may continue."

Tana nodded an affirmation and picked up where she left off. "Bottom line – in my informed opinion –he almost took something – someone – precious to so many people in this room today away from us. In fact he almost took away two people that we love very dearly, Rachel and her child. Today, Rachel, she is doing her best to pick up her broken pieces and put them back together again, to be a good mom, and she's trying to have a normal life again. But it's taken more than a year of intensive therapy and inpatient hospitalizations for her to get where she is now." Santana looked at Rachel intensely for a moment with a dangerous glint in her eye, then turned to make eye contact with Brody. "And for the record, you, you rapist piece of garbage, I hope you rot in hell."

"OBJ–"

Miss Kendall only got part of the word out before the judge's gavel slamming against the bench interrupted her.

"That's it! The jury will disregard the last statement made by the witness. Miss Lopez! Congratulations. You are being charged with one count of contempt of court. Bailiff, please escort Miss Lopez out of my courtroom.

Santana's removal from the courtroom brought an abrupt end to the third day's proceedings.

. . . . .

---

"What?"

Finn simply stared wordlessly, gaping, not trusting what might come out of his mouth yet.

"Freakenstein, you're kind of creeping me out now. Speak!"

"San, what the hell!" He finally roared.

"Hey, I was just keepin' it real."

"You were... y-y-you were found IN CONTEMPT!"

"So?"

"What do you mean, SO?!"

"It's just a fine, Lurch, relax. Only five hundred bucks. I gots my rainy day fund and felt like a storm was brewing – and it was fucking WORTH IT. Every. Last. Damn. Penny."

Finn continued to stare at the feisty Latina in disbelief until finally, he cracked. "Okay, yeah it was." He offered a fist bump, which she returned.

The pair sat on the stoop in a quiet part of a courtyard outside the courthouse. Rachel was still inside with her dads and Carole in an alcove talking with the ADA while Finn was outside trying to collect himself and figure out what the hell Tana was thinking, riling up the judge so much. He kind of wished he was a smoker right then because he could really use something to take the edge off the last few days.

Finn sat in silence for a long time, holding his head in his hands and looking down at his feet.

"You okay?" Tana nudged his knee with hers.

He exhaled loudly. "No. No, I kinda don't think I am..." then suddenly the dam broke loose. Fat hot tears rolled down off the end of his nose and over the prominence of his cheek bones to the ground, speckling the concrete below. His breathing became ragged and frantic and San wrapped an arm around his shoulders, rubbing his back gently and sighed.

"Talk to me, Finn."

He looked up at her with watery red eyes and a miserable, tortured expression. "Why... Why didn't you ever tell me just how bad BAD was? Christ, you or Rach, one of you could've prepared me a little better. I mean... San, she was like, suicidal, and, all that stuff you said on the stand, I just, I can't..."

She kind of expected this would be the conversation they would have at some point after the dust settled on this trial. She was ready for it.

"See how you are right now? THIS. This right here is why not. Finn, she needed you. When you first came back to her, she needed things from you that ONLY you could give her. Someone who didn't know all those gorey details. Someone who only knew and remembered who she was and wasn't tainted by what she'd gone through. And for all the time she spent in that year plus arguing against contacting you to tell you anything, by the time you showed up again, I began to realize maybe she kind of had a point."

"So what, you think I wouldn't have seen her the same way if I knew these things then? San that's not true, I'd–"

"No Finn, you would have looked at her differently if you knew EVERYTHING then. I see it in your face right now. You look like John Wick after those Russian fuckers killed his puppy. And this, what you're feeling right now, is not what she needed. I just knew learning everything Rachel had to say to you was gonna be a big enough pill for you to swallow, between learning about the assault and the baby, plus the question of Cam's paternity... all this other shit though? The shit I dealt with? Yeah. You didn't need to hear all those gorey details at the time. It wouldn't have helped either of you in the beginning."

He nodded, understanding creeping in. "I guess you're right. . . I kinda wish I could unhear it all now."

"I know. Me too."

"How the fuck did you manage to deal with all this shit on your own, San? My god, I know how strong Rachel is for coming through this, but she only managed to get past it because of YOU. How?"

"I really can't explain it, Finn. I surprised myself... and no, it fucking was NOT easy. I cried myself to sleep so many nights, especially after I had her committed. I almost called you probably a hundred times. Her dads too. But, like I told you in the beginning when you came back, it wasn't my story to tell. I had to really think about what she wanted and what was best for HER. And I thought about my own shit, like my sexuality, and how the decision of who to tell and when to tell it was taken from me–"

"Oh shit, San, I'm still so sorry about that, I–"

"Hey, no, detenlo ahora. Not your fault. I mean yeah, the whole snarky comment shit in the hallway at school didn't help, but I started that ball rolling, and now, I kinda think it was karma. I don't blame you for what happened Finn, and I never really did. I know you were just looking out for me, despite the bitch I'd been to you for more than a year – and that was all AFTER I burned down your relationship with Rachel."

He nodded. "You were hurting."

"I was. And you knew I was. And somehow, despite all the shit I put you through, you took care of me, in your own fucked up Hinn Fudson way, kinda backwards ass and all fucked up... but you took care of me. And this time, I took care of her... and you."

Once again San found herself in a Hudson bear hug without warning as he sobbed into the curve of her neck. When he finally got himself under control enough to speak, he told her, "I knew you put her pieces back together... I knew you took care of her and Camden. I didn't know that you ACTUALLY, like literally, saved her life. I owe you everything, San. She'd probably be gone now if not for you."

"No, Finn, you don't owe me shit. I owed her, and you. And maybe now my debt is settled and my high school sins have been absolved."

He leaned down and kissed her cheek. "They are," he said simply, and this time she didn't even have any wise cracks in objection to his show of gratitude and affection. Instead she just smiled and nodded, wiping away a few tears of her own and hugged him back.

. . . . .

---

The trial had concluded after only four days, with closing arguments on the fifth. The defense had virtually no case to present, calling only three witnesses; two who testified as character witnesses, and one as their own forensic expert to try and refute the medical evidence. Brody wanted to testify on his own behalf, but his mother and his attorney talked him out of it.

On the fifth day after both attorneys rested their cases and gave closing arguments, the jury was sent off to deliberate. The verdict was returned within three hours: GUILTY on all counts.

Finn felt Rachel exhale sharply and her trembling frame melted against him with relief when the verdict was announced. All that was left was the sentencing hearing, which was set for the following day.

Rachel, Finn and Santana were all given the opportunity to speak in court to address Brody directly in a victim impact statement before Judge Walsh announced Brody's fate. But Tana, well, she'd said everything she needed to say in her testimony, and so did Rachel, who just wanted to get this nightmare over with as quickly as possible.

Finn was too afraid Brody wouldn't make it out of the courtroom alive and he'd find himself behind bars if he were given the chance to address the bastard directly, so he figured it best to bow out of speaking as well. Instead, he was permitted to submit a written statement directly to the judge.

Rachel's dads both spoke on her behalf, but nothing overwhelmed both Rachel and Finn more than when Carole gave her statement.

"I've known Rachel Berry for almost half her life now. She had become my family, long before she gave me my first grandchild. I've seen this girl at her absolute best, and at times, I've seen her at her worst; but never, ever, in all these years have I known her to be so lost, so disillusioned or ready to give up on anything let alone her own life.

"It takes a cold, calculating, despicable, special kind of monster to want to extinguish something so rare and beautiful from this world, to take so much from a person who was always so bright and so full of life and love. You sir, are just that kind of monster. The only thing you couldn't have known was that Rachel Berry is more special than even I could have predicted.

"She SURVIVED. She survived YOU, and her star still shines. You tried to take that from her, but you failed. She may never completely put the nightmare you caused behind her, but she will go on, in a life surrounded by love and light and people who truly appreciate and respect her for the rare gift she is in our world. She will go on and do great things with her life in spite of you and how you tried to ruin her. And you? You will be stuck remembering that she bested you, and knowing that you are not worth the salt in her tears. She is stronger than you, and she will go on.

"Finally, I want to say... I feel sorry for your mother, for how you've surely broken her heart. I'm a mother, and I believe I could forgive my son anything, but there are some lines you simply DO NOT cross. I'm sure your mother is blaming herself to some extent for this tragedy, and I hope one day you can find a way to convince her that it's not her fault. That you'll own your actions and make amends for them. If you're ever to call yourself a man – hell, a HUMAN again, you need to do that much, for her sake if not your own."

---

It was finally over. The dreaded gut wrenching feelings of seeing him, facing him in court, the fear of running into him by chance in public (or worse, in private) – it all faded to a state of bliss with the announcement of the verdict and his sentencing. Brody Weston was going to be locked up for good for a long time and Rachel was finally FREE of that nightmare.

"Can you believe it? Thirty years, the maximum penalty for all six charges! Looks like that Herman Munster of a judge got something right," Santana muttered as she read the newspaper article that covered the sentencing of the fallen Broadway hopeful turned gigolo and convicted rapist.

The story made a few headlines, given the slight tarnish it caused to NYADA's reputation. It's not like she hadn't been present for the sentencing in court, but it sure as hell was entertaining to her to read about the plastic man's downfall in the press.

Rachel stirred her cinnamon soy latte and picked at her vegan oat muffin. The waitress came to refill Tana's cup of black coffee and clear away her now empty plate of waffles and sausage. "Yes Sanny, I heard. We were there, remember? Do we have to talk about it anymore? It's finally over. I just want to move on."

Tana shucked the paper to the side and reached a hand over to Rachel across the tabletop. "You did really good on that witness stand, chica. I was pretty impressed. You didn't break down or let him get to you, not once."

"I could feel his eyes on me the whole time. It was very unnerving... but I knew Finn was there watching me too. I'm a little worried about him now, San. I honestly didn't even expect to hear or see half the things that were said in there... It was a lot more difficult to hear than I thought it would be. I mean, I knew it would be bad, but..."

"Listen, mami. Stretch and I had a long chat about everything he heard and saw. Yeah, he was super freaked out at first, but I think he's doing okay now, or he seemed better after we talked. Have you two talked about it yet?"

"Well, we had a therapy session with Dr Reyes the following day, which went pretty well. Finn asked to have a private session right after that, so maybe he's trying to sort out his thoughts and feelings on his own. He never likes to put his pain on me. But outside of that, no, we haven't really talked about how he felt hearing everything, seeing the pictures from the hospital.. I-I know that had to just destroy him inside. It's not just that I got so injured, but that he wasn't here to protect me from it or help me through it."

Tana nodded. "Yeah. I'm well aware of how destroyed he was. He nearly puked on my shoes. But I think he's okay, or he's gonna be. We didn't talk it to death, just enough so I knew he wasn't gonna fall apart on you, or y'know, have a nervous breakdown or something."

Rachel smiled sadly. "He keeps a vice grip on me every night all night in bed now since the trial started. It's been a little tricky getting up to pee or to check on Cam during the night. I just hope he's not beating himself up over this... I know he's still blaming himself for the incident on some level, as much as he says he isn't."

"He'll be fine. And I'm sure he'll talk to you about it if he isn't. Now let's talk about YOU for a minute. Have you contacted Jim about doing the play yet?"

"I have that on my itinerary for this afternoon. Finn wants me to meet him after his shift ends at the shop for a late lunch, then we have to do some grocery shopping. I was going to call Jim afterward, while Finn's home to watch Cam."

"Good. It's good that you're gonna get back in that saddle too. You're meant to be on a stage, even if it is for a bunch of munchkins. At least you'll be relatable to them, given your midget-like stature. Too bad they're not putting on Snow White instead. You could be Diva Dwarf."

"Ha ha, you're SOOO hilarious. I just hope I don't fall flat on my face while I'm up there. Or worse, have a panic attack and flake out."

"Hey, if it gets too much, try the Lamaze breathing stuff. And do your yoga meditations... Those seemed to really help you right after Cam was born."

"I will. Okay so your turn. How are things with Britt?"

"They're really good. I thought it would be weird with Dani, but actually the two of them have become good friends now. Britt found a job at a dance studio teaching pre-K munchkins, and Dani's niece is in her class, so they've had a few run-ins without me, and they seem to get along well. Britt's happy though, and we're finding our way together. I didn't know just how much I missed her 'til she showed up to surprise me on my birthday. I'm glad she did."

"That wonderful, Sanny. You two deserve your happiness together too. And what about your career plans, have you picked a school?"

"Yeah. I found a two year fast track program actually, so I can still work part time. And... don't laugh, but I'm thinking of going to the police academy. I don't really wanna be a beat cop or anything, but I figure I can work my way into the role I want easier from the inside. And having that training might help."

"I still don't know how I feel about you being permitted to carry a firearm. You and your hot-headed temper."

"Hey it's not like I don't know my way around guns... when I was a kid, mi abuelo was big into hunting and shit. He used to take me to the shooting range when I was just ten. He taught me how to handle a rifle and bought me a BB Gun for Christmas one year."

"That's hilarious. And terrifying."

"Don't worry, Berry. I won't shoot Lurch in the kneecap because he pisses me off or anything. Now Puckerman, I can't make the same guarantee, but I'll try," she winked.

. . . . .

---

"So it was really that bad, huh?" Puck asked, as he tossed a pile of game CDs haphazardly into a box labeled 'game shit'.

"Brother, you don't have any idea. I still don't believe I managed to just SIT there and not like, commit a felony in that courtroom in front of the judge and the security guards and everyone. Those pictures man, it was horrific. I swear I'll never get those images out of my head for the rest of my life. It's really a good thing I hadn't seen them before my run-in with that fucker at Starbucks that day, I don't think I could've stopped with one punch if I knew then what I know now. And now I know why Rach was worried and kept trying to be sure I was gonna be okay to sit through all that shit in court."

"Jesus. Yeah man, I can't blame you for wanting to murder that little jizz stain. I probably wouldn't have had that much self control, then we'd be having this chat through inch thick plexiglass right now... Pictures though?"

"Yeah. The hospital did like, a rape kit or whatever on her that night, and part of that was documenting everything including photographic evidence. It might just be the thing that put the final nail in his coffin, too. I had to look away from the screen by the third photo, so I looked at the jury instead. The faces I saw looked like they were reading my mind. Some of the chick jurors were crying and a couple of the dudes were shooting evil glares at that cocksucker."

"And you were doing both."

"Basically, yeah. Well. I swallowed the tears. I promised myself NOT to get emotional like that in front of Rach for this thing, or at all over this subject around her. She doesn't need me dumping my shit on her like that."

"So is she good though? How'd she manage through all that testimony and the pictures and shit?"

"Rachel is like a fucking supreme rockstar. She didn't break down, she didn't cower or have another panic attack... not even afterward when we got home. She did sorta shut down and get quiet on me again, but just that first night after her dance teacher's day on the stand. That was some brutal shit to listen to on the first day."

"No doubt. So no more nightmares or anything either?"

"Not so far, no... or at least none that are waking her up and giving me a heart attack. She hasn't mentioned any bad dreams either. If she's having them, she's either forgetting them by the time she wakes up or she's hiding them from me. I doubt that she's hiding anything, though."

"Well that's good man. Berry's tough as nails, that little shrimp. So I guess no changes on the relationship status either? She still wearing the rock on her neck instead of her hand?"

"Yeah, but it's fine. I'm not rushing her this time. She loves me and neither of us is going anywhere. When she wants things to change, they'll change."

"What if she's never ready to say I DO though, would you be cool with that?"

Finn thought about that for a long beat. "I mean, I'd rather call her my wife, but if this is how we are forever, the way we are now, I could live with that too. As long as I have her and Cam, it's all good. What about you man, any chance you're gonna drop down on that knobby fucking knee of yours anytime soon?"

"Are you fucking insane? What the hell do I look like, you?"

Finn chuckled and slugged Puck in the arm. "Whatever dude. At least I had the balls to man up and ask... twice now."

Puck nodded and shrugged one shoulder. "Maybe someday. I can't say it'd be anytime soon because I haven't even gotten there yet. This shit's too new still, and we've never lived together before – well, I'm not counting those two months in high school, she was hormonal and fighting with Ma every damn night – so, let's just see if we both survive the first week ALONE together and go from there."

"Probably a sound plan. You really love her though, don't you."

"Since freshman year."

Finn's head snapped up, shocked at the admission. "Why the hell didn't you ever say anything? I would've backed off, bros before hoes and all."

"She didn't want me then, man. I wasn't about to beg for it or chase some skirt around like a pansy ass loser. That's what she had you for."

"You're lucky I've matured and am too crazy in love with Rachel to care about any of that high school drama anymore."

"You also forgot the part where you're all ADULT now that you've procreated. Siring some offspring has that effect, y'know."

"So what's your excuse then?"

"Fuck you."

Finn chuckled. "Thanks for making my point."

"I've matured dammit. Look, I even shaved off the 'hawk!"

"I know, Kurt sent me a like a singing telegram when he saw that picture of you and Cam on Facebook. It was some video clip of him singing Hallelujah." Finn chuckled as he tossed a pile of magazines into a box labeled 'library shit'.

"Whatever man. Hey! Be careful with those! That's my special collector's edition porn stash there, pal! These ladies are to be handled with kid gloves!"

"As if Quinn isn't gonna burn all of this shit if she sees it enter your apartment."

"No no, I already thought about that and planned ahead. That's why I rented a storage unit. I'll just go visit my ladies on special occasions."

"Like when Quinn kicks you out for being a giant insensitive ass?"

"Yeah, occasions like that."

---

"Are you ready to go yet, Rach?" Finn called from the living room. "Our reservations aren't going to hold very long if we're late."

Rachel finally emerged from their bedroom, still fastening an earring in place. She was a vision in red and Finn couldn't take his eyes off her. Her long silky hair cascaded in a waterfall of soft curls over her shoulders and her light, natural makeup was just perfect. The slinky crimson cocktail dress that ended mid-thigh hugged her curves in all the right places and the matching peep-toe red pumps she wore just made her toned sexy legs look even longer and more enticing. He considered canceling their reservations just at the sight of her in favor of relieving her of that sexy dress right there against the hallway wall.

"My god, but you're beautiful," he breathed with a hand over his heart, and watched a pearly white smile spread over her gorgeous face.

"You're incredibly sexy in this suit, too. I love this new button down shirt – maroon is your color, by the way. Did you coordinate this on your own, or did Kurt Skype in?"

He sniggered, "What do you think?"

"Silly question," she giggled. "So where are we going anyway? You said we have reservations, but you never said where."

"Uh, true, which would totally defeat the purpose of surprising you if I told you up front. Patience, baby girl. We'll be there soon enough." He apprised her from head to toe once more but something immediately caught his attention before they headed for the door. She was wearing the star necklace he'd given her back in junior year high school, but something else was missing from around her neck. "You took it off?"

"Took what off?"

He walked over and fingered the little gold charm. "Your ring."

She looked up from under her long curled lashes and smiled sweetly, holding up her left hand and waving her fingers slightly, the light catching the gem and sparkling brightly. "I thought it looked better here instead."

He swept her into his arms and kissed her deeply. "I agree," he said simply without further comment on the matter. They'd had a few more conversations about their future since their night of drunken Would You Rather, and he knew she still wasn't ready to take that next step or set a date yet.

She assured him it was nothing to do with her feelings for him, it's just, they were still so young and so much darkness plagued the past few years that she just wanted to enjoy rebuilding their life together as a couple now without the distance or the drama. She wanted 'uncomplicated happiness', and maybe Finn Hudson was the only person in the world who understood Rachel Berry when she said that out loud to people.

They were both content knowing their time would come when she was ready, and that he was just as committed to her as she was to him. For now, she insisted this was the time they both should focus on their careers as much as their family life together. Cam was still so young, and Finn had two years of college left, plus Rachel was about to dip her toe back into performing for the first time in almost two years. She didn't want the added pressure of wedding plans disrupting their happiness in any way, and he was okay with that. He took this move of the ring from her neck to her finger as a step in the right direction though, and it was more than enough for now.

. . . . .

A cab ride later, Rachel was a little bit in awe to see them arrive at Sardi's. She was giddy with delight. "Finn?! How did you manage to get reservations here for 7 PM on a Saturday night?"

He grinned proudly, taking her hand and helping her out of the cab. "I called like a month in advance to be safe. I thought I was gonna get stuck on the will call list."

"Look at my man, planning ahead, putting together a romantic evening for the two of us... So chivalrous as usual! I just feel bad because this is YOUR birthday celebration. I should've been the one doing the planning and surprising."

Finn shook his head abruptly. "Nope. You had more than enough to do with taking care of Cam and getting ready for the play. I still wish you'd just quit that diner job, too. I told you I can cover us for now. And your dads are still paying your half of the rent, so we can manage."

"I know sweetie, but for one thing, I sort of like my job there. I have a few regulars who'd simply miss me too much. And I have started singing there again too, so it's good practice and exposure. Not to mention, having a little extra cash in the budget never hurts. Emergencies happen, especially with a baby. And I really don't want all the weight of finances to fall on your shoulders."

"Okay first of all, you should stop thinking like that. Because one of these days when you make it big, your paycheck is gonna be like, a zillion times bigger than mine, so let me carry us for now." She giggled and rolled her eyes a little but when she tried to protest he kept talking. "And secondly, I hope you know this is all only temporary. This apartment we're in now is cute; it's exactly as I pictured it would be when you described us living in a romantic little shoebox. Emphasis on LITTLE. But I'd like to upgrade us to like maybe a breadbox or something once I graduate and find a job. So, in another year or two, hopefully we can plan to move."

. . . . .

They enjoyed a delicious meal including a vegan chocolate molten lava soufflé for dessert (which has actually become one of Finn's favorite sweets, possibly thanks to Rachel letting him lick the chocolate off her lips more than once).

They left the restaurant and Finn surprised her again with a walk through Central Park, where a Journey Tribute Band was giving a free concert. They danced and sang along to all their favorites, reminiscing on the wonderful (and sometimes painful) memories that made up their past, but that all led them to where they were just the same, tightly wound up in one another's arms.

In the cab on the way home, Rachel called Britt to check on Camden. With a good report and an unprompted update on the status of Lord Tubbington (and exactly how the hell old IS that cat, anyway?), she was satisfied that all was well on the childcare front and that she and Finn could enjoy an uninterrupted evening of sexing the hell out of each other anywhere they wanted.

And while Finn may have insisted on planning the night OUT for his birthday, Rachel still made plans for their night IN afterward.

Once inside the apartment, she excused herself to the bedroom for a moment while Finn headed to the fridge in search of a couple of beers for them. When she came out, she was in her fluffiest floor length pink bathrobe (the one which reminds Finn of his Grandma Stevens) carrying a small gift bag.

"Happy birthday baby," she smiled sweetly as she held out the bag to him.

"Aw Rach, you didn't have to get me anything. Having you and Cam is all the gifts I'll ever need."

"Well you should open it anyway. Humor me," she giggled as she curled up next to him on the sofa. He handed her a beer and looked at her funny for a moment but went ahead and dove into the bag, pulling out something large and flat that was wrapped in tissue paper. Once he tore through the gift wrap, his breath caught in his throat.

"Rachel... this is the best gift ever. I love you so much for this, thank you baby." The framed copy of Camden's updated birth certificate was mounted on a wooden plaque alongside a picture of him and Cam curled up together, sleeping in Finn's father's old recliner (a piece of furniture Rachel couldn't even try to fight him on bringing to their little apartment). A brass plate on the bottom of the plaque was engraved with 'Finn and Camden Hudson - First father/son nap - July 13, 2014'.

Rachel grinned from ear to ear and leaned her head against his shoulder. "I just thought once you're a teacher and you have your own choir room or office, it's something you could maybe hang up there."

Finn's eyes pricked with tears and he immediately pulled his beautiful girl into his lap for a deep kiss. "Thank you for making this the best birthday EVER," he whispered against her lips.

She smirked impishly and whispered back "Mmm, you're welcome baby, but it's not over yet, you know. I have one more surprise for you," then wiggled out of his lap.

She stood directly in front of him and untied the robe, slowly letting it drop to the floor and revealing some new lacey pink lingerie she purchased – the kind with a corset bustier that laced in the front (Finn's favorite kind). She paired it with that short pink skirt with the gold buttons Finn liked so much from high school, and of course, sheer white knee socks.

Finn's eyes lit up like a Christmas tree and his mouth dried up. "Holy shit... Happy birthday to me..." he mumbled as he reached out for her thighs automatically.

A demure smile graced her lips and she fluttered her lashes. "Where would you like me, Mr Hudson?"

Finn's brain sorta froze like a computer that had received way too many requests all at once. He kind of envisioned the blue screen of death in his mind for a split second. So many possibilities! There was the kitchen table – or straddled on the chair next to it, the shower, the oversized clawfoot bathtub (large enough for two – which was Rachel's reason for choosing that apartment). Then again, there was against the refrigerator door or the front door or the hallway wall... and then, if she was up for it, the juliet balcony fire escape outside their bedroom window. (It was nice and dark on that side of the building at night and it was still very warm out right now.)

"Uh..." his hands seemed to answer what his mouth couldn't as they slid up her outer thighs and under her skirt, reaching around to grab both her ass cheeks. He pulled her closer to him (and groaned loudly once it registered with him that she wasn't wearing any panties). "Yeah r-right here is good. Here is like, really really good," he finally managed.

Rachel giggled and gripped onto his shoulders. She was going to lean down for a kiss, but Finn had other plans. He lifted her left leg off the floor and set her foot on the sofa cushion next to where he sat, running his rough palm up the inside of her leg over her sheer socks, beginning from her ankle and gliding over her calf to the apex of her inner thigh. She moaned and purred the closer he got to the top of her leg and he felt himself get harder by the second.

"Baby...god, so fucking sexy..." he murmured as his fingers lightly brushed against her center. "Oh Jesus you're so wet babe. Is that for me?" he grinned wryly.

She nodded and leaned down to his ear. "It's all for you baby. Are you ready for a taste?"

His eyes turned to saucers. Taste? They've been all sorts of intimate from high school up until now and his mouth is no stranger to any part of her body, but since their reunion, oral pleasures are the only things they hadn't yet exchanged. It's been quite a long time since he'd been able to enjoy that particular indulgence with her, and in the face of everything they were coping with the past several months he surely wasn't going to push her on the subject. But now she's offering herself to him like a late night birthday buffet... So she's finally ready for this again? Oh god, how he's missed the taste of her...

"Uh, you're really okay with that, baby? Because I always have room for dessert, but only if you're sure."

She giggled and nodded and took his hand, slipping his index and middle fingers into her mouth slowly. "I'm all yours baby, any way you want me tonight. These fingers of yours are very talented," she leaned over and traced her tongue around the shell of his ear and whispered "but I've missed your tongue."

Holy hell, this birthday was turning out to be EPIC, and he was pretty sure the wood in his crotch just turned to steel.

"Do you like my new outfit? I picked it special for you to unwrap," she cooed in his ear and sucked his earlobe between her lips.

He smirked, catching her hair with his large hand. He tilted her face upward and sucked on the underside of her jaw. "Rachel, if you keep talking like this, you know you're getting fucked hard tonight, right?" He moaned gruffly.

She bit her bottom lip and mewled. "Mhmm.. I'm counting on it," she breathed as she maneuvered her head around and slid her warm lips along the side of his neck.

He pulled her head up a little and kissed down the hollow of her throat over the star necklace, swirling his tongue around the charm against the skin there. She tasted so good, and he assumed she must've gotten some new body lotion or something that's flavored like strawberries.

"Yeah this um... this pink corset thingy is HOT," he breathed against her breast as his finger traced the zigging zagging path down the laces. "I like this. A whole lot. And just so we're clear, the socks and the skirt are staying on no matter what tonight..."

She giggled loudly, throwing her head back. "Okay Finny, it's your birthday... your wish is my command."

Well, she did say so, right? He figured he'd just go with it unless she said to stop. They'd already had this conversation multiple times: anything she's uncomfortable with or if she needs to stop, she's to tap his head.

"Stand up straight baby. But leave that foot on the sofa right where it is." She did as he asked, still holding his shoulder and the forearm that was draped around her waist for balance. He resumed his journey with his mouth, trailing kisses down over her collar bone, pausing over a nipple and biting at it through the lace material. "I think I'm gonna unwrap these in the bedroom later." He raised his free hand back up under her skirt and plunged two fingers deep inside her. "But for now, I need some birthday dessert."

As his fingers started working their magic against her sex, she was getting a little wobbly. Suddenly he stood up, scooping her up by the waist in one fluid motion and the next thing she knew she was lying on her back on the sofa. "Fuck I want you so bad baby," he growled, as he dropped to his knees on the floor, pushing her skirt up to her middle. He positioned her so she was sitting up on the sofa facing him and scooted her butt up to the edge, propping each of her legs on either side of his shoulders. "Don't forget, tap me out if you need to," he reminded softly.

She nodded and he dove in, licking a stripe right along her wet folds. She screamed his name at the feel of his hot tongue plunging deep into her core and swirling around her clit. "Mmmm... fuck I missed you, Rach. You taste as good as ever," he groaned against her sensitive flesh.

"Don't stop, Finn, don't you fucking dare stop! More... Touch me please!" She whined, and he obliged, pressing his thumb against her clit and sliding his tongue back across her sopping channel. He switched off, pushing three fingers inside her and flicking his tongue over her tight pulsing bundle of nerves when her first orgasm erupted. "Oh GOD Finn! I love you so fucking much!"

He let her quaking body ride out the shockwaves before sliding up to her mouth and capturing her lips in a deep frenzied kiss. While their lips were still connected, he scooped her off the sofa and carried her to the bedroom. He only broke the kiss long enough to ask how to unlace this hot pink corset thingy.

. . . . .

---

Six weeks later...

"Okay Cam, buddy. Just you and me today while mommy's at play rehearsal. So it's just us guys, and we're gonna have some fun!" The eleven month old giggled and babbled unintelligible sounds that made Finn laugh.

Cam had already started walking about a month ago and Finn found that learning all the ways an apartment needs baby proofed WHILE saving the baby from said dangers was becoming a full time exhausting and nerve-wracking job.

"That's right buddy, mama's practicing for her play. Can you say mama?" Sounds that came out as mmr-pur-mm-ba erupted from the toddler, followed by a high pitch squeal.

"How about dada? Can you say dada?" Finn pointed to himself and repeated the word over and over, getting giggles, spit bubbles and brr-jee-dah sounds in return.

"Okay we'll work on that one, pal. But y'know, I think it'd be way awesome if your first word was DADA. Then mommy would be super jealous, plus she'd totally lose our bet. So if you could do me a solid and throw out a dada first, that'd be really cool." Finn took his son's little hand and balled it like a fist to do a mini fist bump.

"So I was thinking we'd have our lunch at the park today. It's still pretty nice out, even though it's October. And you know, we're guys, so we like to be out in the fresh fall air. Maybe we'll go see the ducks swimming in the pond, and stop at the playground for a little ride on the swings. What do you think about that?"

"Zhr ree doo-pa eepsh!" Camden answered.

"Yeah! Ducks and swings! And most importantly, LUNCH! So you sit tight here in your walker and let daddy get our lunch packed up. Then we'll head out."

As soon as Finn was head and shoulders deep in the refrigerator hunting for his salami and chipped turkey, he heard the front door unlocking and opening. He was quite surprised to jump up (hitting his head on the inside of the refrigerator in the process) and see it wasn't his beautiful fiancée but rather, Santana entering the apartment.

"Oh, hey San. Nice to see your KEY still works... I didn't realize today was a knocking optional day, but like, come on in?" He snarked at her with a chuckle.

"Hey Lurch, mi casa es aún mi casa, m'kay? Now where's my little drumstick?"

"Huh? You play the drums now?"

'Keep up would you, Stretch... I'm talking 'bout my little man. There he is! Hola mi pequeño muslo de pavo!"

"Tanaaa!" Camden squealed as she lifted him in the air. Finn's smile fell flat with shock.

"Did you hear that?! He said your name!"

"Of course he did, why are you so surprised?"

"But.. well, he hasn't said ANY words yet that me and Rach know about. Or at least not earth words. What the hell?"

"Tana! Tan tannnn aaah!" Cam giggled while clapping wildly.

"He's been saying my name for weeks now, dude. Sorry, oh, and I guess pay up!" She smirked.

"Rach is gonna be pissed," Finn muttered as he begrudgingly fished a ten dollar bill from his wallet. "She keeps saying he's gonna speak Spanish before he ever says mommy or daddy... maybe she's right. What are you doing here now anyway?"

"Oh my classes were canceled today, so I'm free for a few hours and thought I'd drop in to see my turkey leg here. Why what were you planning?"

"We were headed to the park for lunch. You're welcome to join if you want."

"Okay, but do NOT feed that big gray goose if she's there at the pond. That bitch CHOMPED me in the arm last time, and I don't trust her. She's lucky I don't go all Lima Heights on animals."

. . . . .

Two weeks later...

"Looky Cam, there's mama in her pretty yellow dress! Can you wave to mama?" Finn whispered to his son from their front row seats at Rachel's grand opening performance at the Children's Theatre.

"Mama! Mmmmamaaa mamamama!" Camden squealed. It was wonderful to finally hear him say mama, it was just too bad it happened during a talking portion of the play when the audience was otherwise mostly quiet, even with a room full of small children. Rachel being the consummate professional though never missed a beat in her performance. She did swing around and discreetly nod to Finn and Cam at one point as an acknowledgement though.

As the play ended and she took her bows, Finn walked Cam up to the edge of the stage so Rachel could scoop him up in her arms. The audience ate up his charming, squealing little self and Cam possibly garnered a greater standing ovation than Rachel did.

Finn met Rachel and Cam backstage in her dressing room and greeted her with a bouquet of tiger lilies and yellow roses. He gathered his family up in his arms and pressed a long kiss to his beautiful girl's lips, which was broken by Cam patting them both on the cheeks and pinching Finn's nose.

Santana and Britt made their way to the dressing room as well, each taking turns hugging and congratulating Rachel, ending with Tana stealing her turkey drumstick away, leaving Finn a moment alone with his girl.

"You were so damn amazing up there, Rach! Just like I knew you would be. How does it feel?"

"Like riding a bike... It felt INCREDIBLE! I really missed doing this, Finn. Thank you honey, thank you so much for not letting me forget or give up."

"I'd never let you forget. I got you baby, always."

While Rachel started removing her stage makeup, Jim Parsons, the theater director made his way toward her with another visitor in tow.

"Rachel! Rachel, dear, you were sublime! One of the best Belle's I've ever witnessed on ANY stage, and that includes West End and Broadway!"

"Thank you so much Jim, that's so gracious of you to say! I'm just really happy to have been asked to participate in this wonderful production! Your team was all amazing and I think everything went perfectly."

"Well thank YOU for agreeing to be our star! And my dear, I'm sorry to intrude on your time with Finn here, but there's someone who insisted on meeting you immediately. This is Roger Castellano. He's an up and coming director with a play about to start production off-Broadway. He was DESPERATE to meet with you. Roger, this is the lovely and brilliant Miss Rachel Berry, and her fiance Finn Hudson."

The tall slender and prematurely graying man extended a handshake greeting to both Rachel and Finn, then proceeded to gush over Rachel's performance and her immense talent.

"MIss Berry, I'm working on a new play by a little known playwright who's just breaking into the biz. He's a good friend and former college roommate of mine, but he's starting to generate some buzz around town. I just know he'd agree with me that you would be PERFECT for the supporting female lead in this production. The only reason I'm not suggesting you for the female lead is because the lead is meant to be a grandmother and you my dear are far too young and beautiful to play that role. But you'd be her granddaughter which is practically a secondary leading role, and I think you'd be exactly what the character needs to make her really shine. Can we meet for lunch tomorrow to discuss further?"

Finn nodded to her and gave her a discreet thumbs up in encouragement.

"Um... wow, this is so overwhelming, y-yes, I'd, well I'd be just delighted to meet with you. And thank you so much for all your praise, it means the world to me."

"No, thank YOU for allowing me the privilege of meeting with you, and for supplying the most excellent enchanting Belle we've seen in years. It was truly a treat watching you on stage this evening. I think great things are coming your way very soon, Miss Berry. Here's my card, please give me a call this evening and we'll make arrangements for that lunch."

Finn stood off to the side listening, beaming with pride. Of course big things were coming to her, he'd always known they would be. She'd gotten her Rachel-Berry-Muchness back, and it seems it was already time for Broadway to know about it.

---

~ fin ~

(STAY TUNED FOR THE EPILOGUE...)

---

A/N2 - I'm not a lawyer and have no formal trial law training per se, but it's an area of interest to me. And I watch a lot of tv shows and movies lol. I'm quite sure a lot of what Santana said on the stand wouldn't have been permitted in a real court, and any good attorney most likely would've shut down most of her monologue... but for the purpose of this fic, I decided to just let her rant. =) I also don't think a real judge would have found her in contempt, but it played better here, so I took that creative liberty too. It was her Mona Lisa Vito moment on the stand (that's a My Cousin Vinny movie reference, for those not in the know – and also, Fred Gwynne [aka Herman Munster] was sort of the image I had in my mind for this judge).

.❤️.

Cory Allan Michael Monteith
5/11/1982 ~ 7/13/2013

.🌞.

Naya Marie Rivera
1/12/1987 ~ 7/8/2020

SONG CREDITS -

heading lyrics from Psychedelic Furs, 'Ghost in You'

chapter title borrowed from the song 'This Little Light of Mine'. I'd gladly give credit to the original writers or composers but the history of that song is a little sketch, so feel free to see Mrs Google & Wikipedia for more info and an interesting musical history lesson.

This little light o' mine, I'm goin' let it shine

Let it shine, let it shine, let it shine.
Ev'rywhere I go, I'm goin' let it shine (repeat)
Let it shine, let it shine, let it shine, let it shine, let it shine.
In my neighbor's home, I'm goin' let it shine (repeat)

Let it shine, let it shine, let it shine.