My Angel is the Centerfold
Chapter 1
Carol lowered herself down onto the mattress of the thinly padded lower bunk. Sophia crowded into her side, looking for comfort in the unfamiliar and frightening place. Wrapping her arm around her daughter, Carol promised the girl like she always did that everything was going to be alright. It was a promise Carol made to her many times before. This time she was even less hopeful than usual about her ability to keep it.
Carol could hear raised voices in the room next door to hers. The two women that were assigned to that room together were fighting again. This time the angry screaming was accompanied by a loud thump. It was the third time since Carol arrived that a member of the shelter's overworked staff had to poke her head into their room and threaten to kick the women out if they couldn't control themselves. Carol cast a nervous glance at the empty bunk across from hers, suddenly frightened as to who she and Sophia might end up sharing the small space with.
From down the hallway, Carol heard another raised voice. This one had a thicker southern accent and was loud enough to drown out the bickering next door. Along with it, Carol could hear the quieter rumblings of the social worker the woman was receiving a lecture from.
"I thought we talked about this last time," the social worker scolded. Carol heard the other woman let out a frustrated huff.
"Ya act like it's my fault he got drunked up and kicked muh door in!," the other woman huffed. "Just 'cause I slept with 'im doesn't mean he owns the place!"
The voices were getting louder as the women moved closer to the door of Carol's room. When they stopped outside, Carol was able to put faces to the voices she heard. The social worker was the same one that checked her in and showed her and Sophia to her room, a mousy woman named Denise with dirty blonde hair and glasses she kept shoving back up onto the bridge of her nose. The other woman was unfamiliar. She had long hair that was blonde on the ends with darker roots growing out. The tiny shorts and tight pink tank top she was wearing put her curvy body on full display.
"We helped you move. You weren't supposed to give him your new address. If Merle called about anything other than the kids, you promised you were going to hang up," the social worker said. From the exasperated tone in her voice, Carol could only guess this was not her first time having this same conversation with the woman in the pink shirt. "River! We put all this in your safety plan!"
"He said he wanted to talk about the kids," River explained, her voice rising in a way that made it so even Carol could tell she wasn't being honest.
"River? Really?," Denise asked, pushing at her glasses again. "He wanted to talk?" River giggled. The sound was high pitched and girly. It was so different from her lower toned speaking voice that Carol almost wanted to laugh along with her.
"Okay, okay," River admitted, "...he said if I invited him over, he'd let me sit on his face."
"Lord have fuckin' mercy," the social worker grumbled, burying her face into her open palm. Carol heard a few more voices join the first two. From what they were saying, she could only guess that they belonged to the children of the woman in pink. One made noises like she was about to vomit. And the other groaned.
"MooooOOOom! What the hell?"
"What happened to your safety plan?," Denise asked, finally recovered from her disgust and disappointment enough to speak again.
"I remember'd the plan," River said, throwing her hands up in defeat. "But I guess my pussy musta forgot!"
Carol's eyes widened at the woman's crude language. And she lifted her hand, pulling Sophia closer and clamping it down over the girl's ear. The social worker must have been at her wits end as well, because she simply pointed River and her girls into the room and rolled her eyes.
"We'll get someone over to fix your lock," she said. "But this is the last time we can help you if you're not going to follow your safety plan."
River shrugged, moving past the woman and into the room. She cast a curious glance at Carol before she turned and tossed her backpack down onto the opposite bed. She wrinkled up her nose, making it appear more crooked than it already was.
"This is the last time we can help you," River said, her voice a high falsetto in obvious imitation of the social worker.
Carol quietly observed the small group as they shuffled into the room with her. One of the girls looked to be about Sophia's age, while the other one was older. The older girl was taller than her mother, with long blonde hair that was braided away from her face. She scowled as she looked around the room, her eyes lingering on Carol and her daughter before she gave her younger sister a rough crack to the back of the head.
"Don't think yer sleepin' with me," she warned the girl.
The younger girl whined, snuggling in next to her mother as she rubbed at the back of her head. Her older sister ignored their mother's scolding, tossing her things up on the bunk above Carol's head. She stepped on the mattress next to Carol, making the bed dip in as she boosted herself up onto the upper bunk. Carol could hear some shuffling noises above her, followed by the soft sound of an electric guitar being strummed without an amplifier.
"That's their side of the room," River said, glancing at Carol and her daughter before she looked up at her daughter. The girl promptly pulled a large set of headphones over her ears, flipping her mother off before she went back to the song she was working on.
"Sorry," the woman said, rolling her eyes at her daughter before she extended her hand out towards Carol. "I'm River." She ticked her head towards the younger girl. "This is Wren." Pointing towards the upper bunk with her other hand she added, "...the pain in the ass up there is Harley."
"I'm Carol," Carol said, her hand shaking as she reached for River's. "This is Sophia." Sophia cast one nervous look at the newcomers before she ducked her head into her mother's side, trying to make herself as small and invisible as possible.
Wren stepped forward, tugging on the sleeve of Sophia's blue t-shirt. When Sophia peeked up at her, Wren gave her a big smile. Despite Sophia's obvious reluctance, the girl seemed determined to make friends with her.
"If you want we can share the other top bunk so you don't have to sleep with yer ma," Wren offered. "I don't have head lice anymore."
River snorted out a laugh, quickly explaining that they all got head lice the last time they had to sleep at the shelter. When Carol's eyes widened in disgust, River only laughed.
"This yer first time here?"
Carol nodded, thinking this was not only her first time here, but her last one as well. Taking the beating she was sure to receive for running off was sounding better and better compared to her current circumstances. She swallowed hard, reminding herself that it wasn't Ed's physical abuse that made her desperate enough to climb onto the city bus and come to this horrid place. It was the way he was touching Sophia, holding the girl against him when he hugged her. The long unsettling stares towards her newly acquired girlish curves. And the way Ed kept offering to be the one to put Sophia to bed and read her a story, something he'd never bothered to do since the moment she was born. Carol could put up with the abuse herself. But she couldn't stand the thought of something happening to her daughter.
"There's games and tv down in the common room," Wren chirped, tugging with more insistence as Sophia's sleeve. Carol released her grip on the girl, curious to see what she might do. Sophia still looked hesitant. But the suggestion of games and tv must have appealed to her. Because she was glancing between her mother and their new roommate.
"You can go play if you want to," Carol offered.
Sophia still looked unsure. But when Wren grabbed her hand and started dragging her towards the door, she didn't resist. She looked back at her mother once more before Wren ushered her off down the hallway towards the common room.
River sat down on the opposite bunk with a huff, unzipping her backpack and poking through it until she found a couple bottles of water. She leaned forward, handing one to Carol before she unscrewed the cap on the other one and took a few hard gulps. River toed her shoes off and flopped down on the bed.
"So, what's yer story?," River asked. When Carol didn't answer she added, "...everyone here's got a story."
"I had to get away from my husband," Carol admitted.
"Well duh," River said with a giggle. "We're all here fer that." She lifted her long bare legs, planting her feet against the mattress above her. "Are y'all divorced or still married?"
"Still married," Carol said. She'd been hiding her situation for so long, it felt strange to simply admit what was going on. Especially to a total stranger. "What about you?"
"I'm divorced," River said. "For the second time."
"Oh," Carol said. "Was your first husband a good man?" River laughed again.
"I only got one husband. I married and divorced 'im twice. Was thinkin' about goin' fer round three when he went off the fuckin' rails and kicked my damn door in. Ya know that summbitch stole all the cash I had saved up fer the girls summer camps and shit."
"You married the same man twice?," Carol asked, unable to stop herself from smiling at the idea. And at the silly antics of her new roommate.
"Sure did," River confirmed. "If ya saw 'im, you'd understand. He's the kinda sexy that'll make ya do stupid shit. Like catchin' pregnant before yer old enough ta drive."
Carol smiled. She thought River looked a little young to have a teenage daughter. Now she knew that was because the woman was, in fact, too young to have a teenage daughter. Guessing at the sullen older girl's age, Carol calculated the woman on the bunk to be about ten years younger than her. But truth be told, anyone that looked would have guessed there were more years than that between them. Despite the raw deal life handed her, River appeared much younger than her thirty years. And with all the premature gray she had coloring her previously auburn curls, Carol felt she appeared to be much older than her forty. She felt she ought to have her life together by now. And the fact that she was a decade older than her rooming companion made her even more embarrassed to have no other options available to her besides the women's shelter.
A soft knock on the door pulled Carol from her thoughts of self-deprecation. The mousy social worker poked her head into the room, letting Carol know the police had arrived to take her statement. Carol's body went stiff, her hand fisting into the well worn blanket spread across the bed under her. Suddenly, all of this felt too real. Too permanent. Ed's words came floating back to her. If you ever even think about going to the law, I'll make it so you can never talk again. I'll make you watch while I beat your daughter to death in front of you.
"I …uh …I'm not sure," Carol stuttered and stammered.
"I'll go with ya," River offered, leaping up off her bunk and extending her hand towards Carol. "Yer better off just makin' a report. Or when he comes fer custody of yer baby, yer gonna wish ya did." If River had a nickel for every time she heard someone crying about how they should have pressed charges when they had the chance, she'd be staying at a fancy hotel right now instead of this dump.
Carol's eyes widened slightly at the thought of Ed taking their daughter away from her. And what he might do to the girl if she wasn't there to protect the girl by drawing the bulk of his wrath and perversion onto herself. She was sliding her hand into River's before she even had time to fully consider the horrid possibility. They twined their fingers together as they followed the social worker down the narrow hall.
There were two uniformed officers standing awkwardly in the waiting room, beyond the double paned glass and the reinforced door. They were both men, which made Carol more nervous. She hoped they might send a woman to take her statement. Looking at them, it was hard to say between them which one was better looking. One had blue eyes and a friendly smile. His companion was by far more rugged and bore a more serious expression. That was, until he spotted the woman Carol was clinging to. His face lit up in a big smile, his eyes roving up and down her long tan legs before he was able to regain his professional exposure.
"Trixie?," the man said, his voice rising slightly in disbelief. "I mean River," he quickly corrected. "I haven't seen you in months… Where have you been hiding?"
"Well well, if it isn't officer Walsh. Aren't you a sight for sore eyes…" River let out a high pitched giggle as she looked around the space. Releasing her grip on Carol's hand, she moved forward and wrapped her arms around the officer's neck, pressing a chaste little kiss against his cheek.
"Are you the one that needs to make a report?," he asked, clearly hopeful that she was. His partner rolled his eyes at the pair.
"No," River said, gesturing towards Carol, "...it's my friend there that needs ta make one. But it's okay if I sit with her while she does it right?"
"Of course it's alright," he said, answering quickly before his partner could object.
Filing her first official report was less horrifying than Carol expected. True to her word, River sat with her and held her hand while Carol answered the officer's questions as well as she could. She squeezed tighter during the worst parts. The officer that River knew poked at a laptop while that man that introduced himself as Officer Grimes took her statement. Carol had to fight against the urge to cover for Ed. She'd been doing it so long, it was almost second nature. I fell down the stairs. I slipped in the shower and hit my head. I shut my finger in the car door. Actually telling a total stranger what really happened was somehow terrifying and liberating at the same time. The social worker messaged them the photos she took of Carol's injuries when she arrived. There were fading bruises in every stage under her clothes. But the strangle marks on her neck were plainly visible. He used a belt this time. And the leather bit into the pale skin of her throat, even breaking it and leaving welts in a few places.
"Alright ma'am," Officer Grimes said, "...we'll get the emergency restraining order filed today. We're going to have to pull your records from the emergency room before we arrest your husband. That might take a few days. You have somewhere safe to stay until then I assume?" Carol nodded. "We'll be in touch once he's in custody. Then you'll be safe to return to your home and gather your things. You can stay there if you choose. He technically won't be allowed to return due to the restraining order. But with everything you've told me, I wouldn't advise that unless you have no other choice."
"I'll figure something else out," Carol said. She wasn't sure what that something else would be. But she was just going to have to take things one terrifying step at a time.
As the social worker saw the officers out, River and Carol headed back to their room. They spoke quietly, comparing their experiences. Despite how different their journeys were, they'd been led to the same place at the same time. And Carol was more grateful than she could express that she'd managed to find a friendly face in the middle of what felt like her absolute rock bottom.
River stopped short in the doorway of their room, causing Carol to bump into the back of her. There was an unfamiliar woman in their room. She was rail thin and had what remained of her thin patchy hair hanging partway into her face. She was elbow deep in Carol's backpack, the small crumpled wad of cash she'd stolen from River's bag peeking out from her dingy discolored bra.
"What the hell do ya think yer doin' in here?," River hollered, though it was quite obvious that the woman was stealing from them. She must have been doing a quiet job of it too. Because Harley was on the bed with her eyes still closed as she strummed away on her unplugged guitar. At the sound of her mother's raised voice, the girl shot up out of bed, bumping her head on the stained ceiling tiles.
"Put back whatever ya took," River warned. "Right now. Or yer gonna regret it."
Instead of taking River's sound advice, the woman surged forward and slammed her bony body into her. Carol stumbled back against the wall. The woman grabbed River, pulling at her hair and scratching at her like a feral cat. Carol pushed back off the wall. She didn't have much fighting experience. At least not with fighting back. But she did what she could, slapping and pushing at the woman to try and keep River from being hurt. The three of them were tussling in the doorway. And then suddenly the woman was being drug backwards. River's older daughter gripped the woman by the shirt and swung her full force into the wall between the beds. Then she jumped on the woman and started beating the absolute fuck out of her. Harley was raining down punches, hitting the smaller woman in the head and torso as she cursed her out for being a junkie thief. By the time the shelter staff surged in, the woman had given back what she stole from them and was huddled in the fetal position with at least one less tooth in her mouth than she started the day with.
"She was fuckin' robbing us!," Harley screamed, hollering into the social worker's face loud enough that she took a step back.
"Doesn't matter!," the woman countered. "You know the rules Harley! No fighting!" The woman turned towards River, telling her she better get her wild ass daughter the hell out before she called those cops back inside.
"Fuck this place anyway!," River hollered. "The whole fuckin' place is crawlin' with fuckin' headlice!" She gestured towards the bed and hollered at her daughter. "Get yer shit. And Wren's too. We're just gonna go home and brace the fuckin' door shut."
"Shoulda just done that in the first place! Like I said!," Harley announced. "Instead of comin' down here to this tweeker infested rathole!"
Harley moved into the room, making sure to lunge threateningly at the woman on the floor before she gathered their things up. Carol wasn't surprised when River's bag was tossed in their direction. But she was shocked when the girl grabbed her and Sohpia's bags off the bed and thrust them roughly in her general direction.
"What are you giving me my bags for?," Carol asked, her back pressing against the wall as she regarded Harley with a nervous glance. As far as she knew, she wasn't the one being kicked out.
"Because yer comin' home with us," Harley said, the first hint of a smile that Carol had seen from the girl flashing in her direction. "Unless you'd rather stay here…"