My Angel is the Centerfold

Chapter 2

"Are you sure about this?," Carol asked. She twisted her body, turning her head to the side and glancing nervously at River. The woman was standing behind her with oversized gloves on her hands and a plastic squeeze bottle full of hair color. River placed her free hand on top of Carol's head, pushing it back into the position that would make it easiest for her to slather the color into her hair.

"Sure about it?," River repeated with a high pitched giggle. "Carol! Half yer dang head is already covered with this shit."

Carol laughed right along with River as she lifted the glass of cheap wine in her hand and took a sip. Coloring her hair was a new experience for her. When she was young, her mother never even allowed her to wear makeup, let alone dye her hair. Carol thought about doing it as an adult, when she was barely thirty and already starting to gray. But Ed would have beat the shit out of her for acting like a whore if he thought she was even considering doing anything to enhance her appearance. Carol waited years for this moment. Unfortunately, the actual process of applying the color to her head was turning out to be much more unpleasant than she expected.

"That stuff is cold," Carol whined. "And it stinks."

"Just think about how good yer gonna look when it's done," River suggested. "And ya oughta hurry up and finish yer drink... just in case it looks like shit."

Carol burst into laughter. And she could hear River laughing behind her, trying to hold herself together long enough to get the rest of Carol's short white and silver hair covered in the light brunette hair dye they bought in the next aisle over from the cheap wine at Walgreens. The name of the color was 'Brandy'. Carol picked it because it reminded her of the old rock ballad with the same name. The song was one of her favorites.

Once Carol's head was sufficiently slathered in the stinky goop, River wrapped her hair in a plastic bag and set the timer above the oven for half an hour. She refilled their wine glasses and they switched places.

River's hair was much longer. She bleached it blonde some time ago, leaving her with a few inches of dark regrowth. The rest of her long tresses were a brassy blonde mess, which is why she chose a box of darker brown hair color for herself after she helped Carol pick out the lighter one.

"Are you sure you want it all dark?," Carol confirmed. River shrugged. She didn't seem as concerned about making a drastic change to her appearance as Carol was. Maybe it was because she'd colored her hair lots of times before. Or maybe was just more confident in her appearance. Carol guessed it was probably a little bit of both.

"Yeah," River said. "If I keep bleachin' it, I'm gonna end up fuckin' bald. And I got that photo shoot thang this week. I can't roll in there with three inches of roots." With her backwoods Georgia country twang, the way River said the word roots sounded more like ruts. It made Carol laugh as she shook the bottle of color around to mix it. She applied the color to River's hair, rubbing it around with her gloved hands and trying her best to make sure every strand was evenly covered.

As she was tossing all the boxes and disposable color bottles in the trash, Carol's phone rang. She didn't pay much attention to the noise at first. Carol wasn't used to having her own cell phone. Ed only allowed her to use their land line. He said she didn't need a mobile phone, since she wasn't supposed to leave the house anyway unless he knew where she was.

"Hello," River chirped, answering the call for her. "No. This ain't her. But she's right here." River waved Carol over with some urgency, holding out the phone for her to take. "I think it's that prosecutor lawyer lady," River whispered.

Carol nodded, swallowing the hard lump that had suddenly formed in her throat. She knew there was a good chance she would have to testify against her husband in open court. Just the idea of seeing Ed again terrified her. She didn't even want to think about having to sit in front of him and tell a room full of strangers what he did to her. Even though she knew deep down that what happened wasn't her fault, Carol still felt deeply ashamed of how long she allowed the abuse to continue. She'd heard it so many times over the years, from her sister and her friends. Hit me once, shame on you. Hit me twice, shame on me. If you didn't like it, you would leave. Her sister eventually just stopped talking to her. Just like all her friends. For years Carol was convinced that she deserved the way they abandoned her. But now, she was starting to wonder if maybe they just weren't very good friends in the first place.

River reached for Carol's hand, gripping it tight as Carol lifted the phone to her ear. The plastic cap that was wrapped around her hair made a weird crackling noise. But Carol could still hear the woman's voice on the other end of the call.

"Ms. Peletier?," she confirmed.

"Yes, this is her."

"This is Yumiko Okumura from the Atlanta county prosecutor's office. We spoke the other day."

Carol nodded her head. Then she remembered she was on the phone and the woman on the other line couldn't see her. "Yes," Carol said. "I remember."

"I have some news about your case." There was a short pause. Carol could hear the soft rustle of papers being shuffled before the woman spoke again. "The good news is, you're not going to have to testify." Carol let out a breath she didn't even know she was holding. That was a relief. But she heard the hesitation in the woman's voice. There was a but coming. "But…," the woman said. "...as it was your husband's first offense, he was able to plead down to a lesser charge. He'll only be sentenced to ninety days in jail instead of the two years in prison I was pushing for."

"That's okay," Carol said. She was honestly surprised that anyone cared enough about her to put Ed in jail for any time at all. He'd been drilling it into her head for years that no one would ever believe her. And that even if they did, they wouldn't care. She was disposable. His property to abuse and torment however he chose. If she told, he would make her watch as he beat their daughter in front of her. "I'm just glad I don't have to testify," Carol admitted.

"That's completely understandable, Ms. Peletier," the lawyer said. "And I also wanted to let you know that I did get into contact with the judge that issued your restraining order. He extended it to include your daughter. And instead of the thirty days he initially gave you, it will be good for a full year. When the year is up, you can appear in court and request that the order be extended for another three years."

"Thank you so much," Carol replied.

She was still reeling from the conversation after the prosecutor offered her a polite goodbye and hung up the phone. River was leaning in close enough that there was no need for Carol to repeat everything the prosecutor told her. She didn't speak. She just set her phone down on the counter and let River pull her in for a hug.

"Pretty sad when ya get more time fer smokin' refer than fer beatin' yer wife," River grumbled. "But at least he's gettin' locked up. Once we know he's in the slammer, we can go to yer house and git the rest of yer stuff."

Carol nodded her agreement as she moved away from River so she could turn off the beeping alarm in the kitchen. She poured herself another glass of wine and headed for the bathroom to wash the color out of her hair. Leaning forward over the bathtub made all the blood rush to her head. That, combined with all the wine she already consumed, made her slightly dizzy when Carol finally flipped her head back up and stood in front of the bathroom mirror.

Carol rubbed at her damp hair with a towel. She couldn't remember the last time she really looked at her own reflection for any length of time. But she was sure she looked drastically different from now to whenever that was. The colored hair was a huge change. Instead of the stark gray and white, it was a soft tawny brown. But that wasn't the only change. The dark circles under her eyes were gone. So were the gaunt hollows where her cheeks used to curve in. She noticed that Sophia had filled out over the last few weeks. But she hadn't really stopped to check on her own body. And since she was stuck borrowing River's clothes, she didn't notice the change in how her clothes fit her either. The two women were close to the same height. But River was curvier through the hips and larger in the chest. So all her clothes fit loose on Carol despite the healthy bit of weight she'd obviously gained.

Carol smiled when she heard the small stampede of footsteps and loud excited voices coming from the apartment living room. Harley took Sophia and Wren out for pizza and arcade games. And they must have just gotten home. Letting her daughter out of her sight was terrifying at first. For years, Carol's only way of keeping Sophia safe was to keep the girl by her side. But she was slowly learning to relax and trust. Carol knew Harley would die before she let anything happen to her younger sister or Sophia. The older girl watched the two younger ones like a hawk. And it was healthy for Carol and Sophia to have a little time apart. They no longer had to be stuck together at the hip twenty four hours a day to stay safe.

"Momma C!," Wren hollered, pounding on the bathroom door with her fists. "Come out! I wanna see yer new hair!" Sophia added her quieter demands to Wren's, calling softly through the door for Carol to hurry up and come out of the bathroom.

Carol smiled. Taking a deep breath, she placed her hand on the locked doorknob. Being able and allowed to lock the bathroom door was another novelty. And a necessity. Not a single one of her new roommates ever bothered to knock before entering the bathroom or the bedrooms. They just barged in. Carol swung the door open and stepped out to the sound of excessive squealing and catcalling.

"Oh mommy!," Sophia gushed. "You look beautiful! Just like a real princess!"

"Can we do mine next?," Wren asked, pawing at Carol as she felt and touched her recently transformed hair.

"Holy crap, you look sexy as shit!," River chirped. She knocked a kiss to the side of Carol's cheek as she pushed past the girls and into the bathroom to wash the color out of her own hair.

Harley moved in for a closer look. And Carol braced herself for what she knew was coming. Harely never shied away from offering up her always brutally honest opinions. And Carol was sure this would be no exception. She was surprised when the girl finished her careful examination of her mother's dye job and complimented her. "It looked fine before," she said. "...but I do like the brown. Looks good with your eyes. They look brighter and more blue than they did against the gray."

"Thank you Harley," Carol said. She didn't attempt to hug the girl. Harley only liked physical affection if it was initiated by her. But Carol was secretly elated by the compliment the girl gave her. And she smiled broadly at Harley as she squeezed past them on the way to her room. The girl's door opened and shut. And a few moments later, the soft muffled sound of her guitar drifted out.

Along with her newfound freedoms, the constant noise was something else Carol was slowly getting used to. River and her girls were loud. They stomped around the apartment. They hollered through closed doors at each other. Harley was almost always either listening to music or playing her instruments. And it was not uncommon for River to get into a screaming match with her own ex-husband on the telephone. At first the noise gave Carol terrible anxiety. She spent the last decade being as quiet as possible to avoid attracting Ed's attention. But slowly, Carol was starting to enjoy the constant chatter. It made her smile to hear Sophia adding her sweet little voice to the chaos. And she was beyond happy that her daughter could finally make noise or spill her milk without cowering in fear.

Since it was a school night, Carol and River sent the girls to brush their teeth and get in bed. There was a bunk bed in the room they shared. But the top bunk was often left unoccupied. Wren and Sophia liked to sleep snuggled up together in the bottom bunk. Once the girls were tucked in, River divided up the last of the wine between her and Carol's glasses. They pulled the sofa bed out, adding their pillows and blankets as they sipped the last of their pink moscato. River grabbed her spiral notepad. And they sat in bed together snacking on cut apples and little hunks of cheese while they made a list of everything they needed to get done in the bakery tomorrow.

Neither of them had ever run a business before. But they were slowly developing a routine.

Before long, the list was complete and they were leaning back into their pillows watching the latest episode of american idol. River was asleep by the second song, her newly darkened locks spread out on her pillow in a messy halo around her head. Carol stayed up until the end of the show. And even after she clicked the tv off, she lay awake staring at the ceiling and listening to River's soft even breaths. She told herself that she was just keyed up from the phone call she got earlier from the county prosecutor. But still, she couldn't shake the feeling that she was on the edge of a precipice. Her past was slowly fading away behind her. And laid out in front of her was something new and exciting. Whatever that was, she didn't know. But Carol had a funny feeling she was about to find out.