My Angel is the Centerfold

Chapter 19

River felt the wind whipping her hair around behind her as Merle accelerated his motorcycle. She assumed he was taking her back to his fleabag motel room. But when they left her apartment building parking lot, he took a left turn instead of a right. It wasn't long before the city traffic was behind them. River didn't ask him where Merle was taking her. She didn't care. And even if she did, he wouldn't be able to hear her inquiry over the loud roar of the motorcycle. She just tightened her grip around his waist and held on. The feeling of his hips between her thighs and the vibration of the bike engine made for a powerful aphrodisiac.

By the time River realized where he was taking her, Merle was already slowing the bike down to make the sharp turn into the small parking area outside the Vickery Creek overlook. Her eyes went misty almost immediately. Just seeing the place filled her with emotion. The last time they were there together was seven months before Harley was born. But River remembered it like it was yesterday.

The lower part of the creek was good for fishing. Or even swimming if it was hot enough outside. The water was slow moving considering how deep the creek was. When they were kids, she and Daryl used to fish in the creek near their old trailer park. But if they could scrounge up a ride or the bravery to hitch for one, they preferred Vickery Creek.

The day River found out she was pregnant was two weeks before she was supposed to start high school. When she got done throwing up and crying her eyes out, she thumbed for a ride out to Vickery Creek. She never hitched a ride by herself before. Her mother always warned her not to. And especially not to do it without Daryl. But she did it anyway. And then she climbed up the long winding trail that led to the overlook.

River tucked her knees against her chest and sat on the edge of the precipice for hours. She could still remember how she felt, ashamed and horribly terrified. Her mother worked three jobs just so they could scrape by with enough to eat and a halfway decent place to live. They couldn't afford another mouth to feed. And they definitely couldn't afford all the things a baby would need. All River's plans involving college and a better life for her and her mother went straight out the window the moment she opened her legs.

River was still sitting on the edge, staring down the hundred foot drop at the water below when Merle found her. To this day, she still had no idea how he knew where she was. She hadn't seen him in weeks. He was gone, completing his basic training. And he was only home for another short visit this time before he'd be gone again for so long that, to her, it felt like forever. She wasn't just going to be broke and pregnant and a highschool drop out. She was going to be all that and be alone.

"Went by yer house lookin' for ya," he drawled. River kept her arms locked tightly around her legs as she glanced up at him. "Yer ma threw a full can of fuckin' coke at my head."

He lowered himself down beside her and wrapped one strong arm around her shoulders. River could still remember how warm his body felt against hers. She leaned into him and closed her eyes. The thought of telling her mother about the situation she got herself into terrified her. But she wasn't afraid to tell Merle. She was never afraid of him. Not even later, when he came home from his second tour in the middle east with the worst case of ptsd she'd ever seen.

"I'm pregnant."

Merle held her against his chest and promised her everything was going to be okay. Because he was going to make sure everything was okay. He held her while she cried. And then he drove her home and held her hand while she told her mother she was pregnant. Her mother drove them to the courthouse. She didn't start crying until she was signing the papers that gave River permission to get married.

The path up to the overlook was slightly overgrown. But it was still visible. River clung to Merle's hand as he led her up the gentle winding incline. The amount of years that passed since the last time they were there felt surreal. River didn't feel eighteen years older. And she certainly didn't feel eighteen years wiser. She felt the same as she felt then, scared and regretful of the choices she made.

When they reached the precipice, Merle sat down. River let him tug her down next to him. And she leaned into his side the same way she did all those years ago. He was still as warm as she remembered. For a little while, they just sat there quietly. Both of them were lost in thought, watching the water as it passed by below.

"I meant what I said when I promised to take care of you," he finally said. "Somewhere along the line, I got lost." River sighed, a small sad smile appearing and disappearing on her face. Lost was a good word for what they were. Her life sure didn't turn out the way she thought it would when she was fourteen. But it wasn't all bad. They were happy for a long time before they weren't.

River lifted her hand to her face. She rubbed the tip of her finger back and forth across the broken part of her nose. The gesture was habit by now. Whenever she considered taking Merle back she would touch the crook in the bridge of her nose, a reminder of the bad times.

"Don't do that," he urged. He reached over and caught her slim wrist in his hand, pulling her hand down and holding it in his.

"I don't know Merle," River said. She sighed, releasing the pent up tension inside her and willing the bad memories. "I dunno if I have it in me to do this again." Every time she forgave him only to have him betray her again, he took a little piece of her heart. She was afraid that one day, there would be nothing left for her to give.

"I can't stand the thought of ya with another man," he admitted. River looked away from the water, taking in the pained expression on his face with more satisfaction than she felt she ought to feel. She had a few brief flings over the years. But she was always discreet about it. As far as she knew, Merle never found out about what she did during his longer stints in jail. But this time was different. She was out for revenge when she slept with Negan. She wanted Merle to find out. The rest of the drama that happened was just collateral damage.

"Now you know how it feels," she said. River glanced at him again. And then she asked, "It feels shitty doesn't it?" A few different expressions flickered across Merle's face. He could try to lie. But his face always told the truth. Shock. Irritation. And finally, he smiled.

"You know those other women don't mean anything to me," he said. And River guessed he probably even meant it. Merle treated his conquests even worse than he treated her on a bad day.

"But they mean something to me," River countered. "So if ya wanna do this, I'll tell ya how it's about ta work." Merle was still smirking at her. But she had a feeling he wouldn't be for long. Not after he heard what she was about to say. She had absolutely no intention of actually carrying out her threat. Even the thought of it grossed her out a little. But Merle didn't need to know that. "The next time I catch ya with another woman, I'm not gonna break up with you. I'm gonna fuck your brother."

"What?," Merle barked. And like she knew it would be, the smug smirk on his face was long gone.

"Ya heard me," River chirped back. "I'll fuck Daryl. And if ya think I can't do it, you'd be wrong. So the next time some little bar slut is looking at ya like she wants to take a ride on more than yer Harley, ya better think about what it would feel like to walk in on me blowing yer brother."

"Yer full of shit," Merle accused. He narrowed his eyes at her. And River was careful not to crack the expression of dead seriousness that she was forcing herself to maintain. In reality, the look of pure dread on Merle's face was making her want to burst out laughing. But she held it in and reminded herself that Merle deserved every bit of the shit she was giving him. He maintained the stand off they were having for a few more moments, their blue eyes clashing as they stared each other down. Then River felt his hand on the back of her neck. He gripped her, pulling her forward as his lips crashed down on hers.

"Yer mine," he hissed. River wasn't able to hold back for long before she was kissing him back. Their relationship had a lot of problems. But none of them were physical. His kiss alone was still enough to make her go weak in the knees. Their tongues tangled up together in her mouth until she had to pull her head back and suck in a hard breath of air. Merle was leaning in to kiss her again. But this time she stopped him with her open palm against his chest.

"I'm not saying yes yet," River informed. "I'm only thinkin' about it right now."

"Think all ya want," Merle taunted. He pulled her back into his arms, kissing her until she was breathless.

Merle climbed to his feet. He reached down, grasping River's hands and pulling her up behind him. She held onto one of his hands as he led her back down the winding grassy path. But when they reached the lower edge of the creek, she tugged him to a stop.

"I've got an idea," River said, her voice filled with mischievous innuendo. She gripped the hem of her tank top first, stripping it off over her head and dropping it in the grass near her feet. She toed off her shoes as she unhooked her bra. Her shorts and underwear went next. And once she was completely naked, she turned and leaped into the deep pool of water.

The water was colder than she expected. River's head dunked under the surface and she came up with a gasp, raking the wet strands of her hair back out of her face. Her feet touched the sandy bottom when she jumped in. But the water was deep enough that she was treading it to stay afloat. River kicked her legs, moving her body away from the grassy creek bed.

"Yer fuckin' crazy," Merle told her, chuckling to himself as he stripped his own clothes off. He hit the water with a harder splash than her. And like River, he came up gasping and cursing. She laughed as she splashed more water in his direction. "Don't know what ya think's about ta happen in here," he teased. "This cold ass water ain't doin' me no favors."

River giggled, nearly snorting water into her nose as her head dunked halfway under the surface. Merle moved across the gentle current towards her. But she kicked backwards again, keeping some distance between them. She'd known him long enough to know he enjoyed a chase. When she turned and started paddling away from him towards the small waterfall that was trickling down from the rocky outcropping above them, it was only because she knew he would come after her.

They ended up behind the softly falling water. Being behind the falls didn't completely hide them from prying eyes. But it did offer a little more privacy than being out in the open water would. The sandy creek bottom turned to smooth rock as they moved further into the small alcove behind the falls. Once the water was shallow enough, Merle pulled her into his arms and kissed her until the heat returned to the lower half of his body. The rocky surface was cold against her back. But his body was hot against her front. And she gripped his shoulders, supporting as much of her own slight weight as she could as he pushed his hard length inside her. His thrusts were forceful but slow enough to leave her begging for more. When she came it was with her legs wrapped around his waist and her tongue in his mouth. The way her insides spasmed sent him over the edge. But he still held her tight against him after he came. And then he drove her back to his crummy hotel room. But River didn't mind. Because even under the cheap sheets, he still held her all night long.