When There's Nowhere Else To Run
autumnyte
Summary:
After escaping to Mexico, Sean has to build a new life for himself in Puerto Lobos. But what does that even look like? He never expected to do this without Daniel, and he's not sure he can.
Maybe he'll find some unexpected help along the way.
(Post-Parting Ways ending.)
Notes:
This will eventually include Sean/Finn content, but it's going to be a little while before it gets there. The initial focus is Sean on his own in Mexico. Other LiS2 characters will also be making appearances, but I won't tag them until they actually show up in the story.
I opted not to rate the entire work, because the chapters are going to vary in content from T to M (and possibly a little E at some point), and I didn't want to slap on a rating that might be misleading.
Disclaimers: All dialogue is presented in English, even though Sean and the people he encounters in Mexico are speaking Spanish much of the time. This contains a fictionalized version of Puerto Lobos, much like the game, but it is partly based on the actual location.
Thank you for reading!
Chapter 1: Things Go Sideways
Chapter Text
"I'm sorry, Sean... but I have to go."
"Don't turn back for me."
Shock and confusion clouded Sean's vision. He couldn't think, couldn't breathe, but somehow, as if his muscles were on auto-pilot, he managed to keep his foot pressed to the gas pedal until he was clear of the border, well past the bullets and debris. The instant he regained conscious control of his movements, he pulled over to the side of the road, screeching to a halt behind a cluster of cacti.
Sean opened the driver's-side-door and slid out. His trembling body crumpled to the ground. Images flashed through his mind of Daniel bailing from the moving vehicle into active gunfire. He'd abandoned the plan just as they were nearly home free. Sean had reached for him, but… it had all happened too fast.
The last thing Sean remembered seeing in the rearview mirror was Daniel being apprehended, apparently unharmed.
"Enano... no! Why?"
As the reality of it sank in, salty tears streamed down Sean's face. His throat constricted and bile began to rise. There was nothing in his stomach but the acidic remnants of police-station coffee, and he dry-heaved into the dirt.
Fuck.
This was not the plan. This was the furthest fucking thing from the plan. The possibility of something like this happening had never even occurred to him.
"What am I supposed to do now?" He rested his head between his hands and escaped into the darkness they offered.
Maybe he could sneak back into Arizona. Rescue Daniel and convince him all over again that Mexico was their only chance at a life together.
"How do you expect to pull that off, genius? It's not like you're the one with superpowers."
And even if he could figure out a way…
"Don't turn back for me."
Daniel hadn't wanted him to.
Had Sean really been that shitty of a brother? He knew he'd made some stupid mistakes along the way, but he thought Daniel understood, thought they were on the same page.
The blazing desert sun beat down unforgivingly on Sean's head, and he was certain he'd never been drenched in so much sweat. Not even walking to Haven Point.
Maybe the cops had shot and killed him, after all. Maybe this was Hell and he just hadn't realized it yet. It was hot enough for it.
His father suddenly appeared at his side, sitting next to him on the ground. "You're not dead, mijo. But you need to drink some water or you won't last long out here."
"Dad?" Sean blinked. He couldn't believe he had any tears left, but fresh ones began to fall. "Jesus. Now I'm hallucinating, too."
Esteban chuckled. "So dramatic! Don't think of it as a hallucination, think about it more like… I'll always be with you. And whenever you need me"-he tapped his temple-"you can find me here."
"Yeah, well. I do need you," Sean whispered hoarsely. "I fucked everything up, Dad. I'm so sorry. And I have no idea how to make it right, or what to do now."
"Stop being so hard on yourself, Sean. You didn't screw everything up. The plan didn't go how you wanted it, true. The universe has a way of doing that to our plans. But you're alive and safe. Daniel is alive and safe. I'm proud of you both." Esteban's voice cracked with sincerity, and Sean wished more than anything that it was possible to hug a vision.
"You always said the most important thing was Daniel and me sticking together. And I failed! I can't take care of him from here!" Sean shouted, clenching his fists.
"I know how much that hurts, son, believe me. But you gave him the lessons he needs. And thanks to you, he has other people-family-to take good care of him." Esteban sighed. "You won't be apart forever."
"Won't we?" Sean wiped his damp cheeks with the back of his dusty sleeve. "Now I know you're not really Dad. He would never be okay with the idea of the two of us apart."
Esteban smiled sadly. "This is not what I wanted for you two, no. But… it is what it is. What I wanted was for you and and your brother to develop a close bond, and you've done that. You two are closer than I ever could have hoped. You need to trust that the bond will survive time and distance. Right now, the most important thing is for you to focus on what comes next."
"And what comes next? I go back to the border and turn myself in?" Sean asked. "Take my chances, or maybe confess to shit I didn't do and hope it's enough to protect Daniel?"
"Does that feel like the right solution to you?" Esteban pointed to his chest. "In here?"
"Aah! You always pull this Dad shit, where you know the answer to something and won't just come out and tell me what it is." Sean kicked at the dirt. "No, it doesn't feel like the right thing. Why should I throw my life and freedom away? Especially when Daniel and I would still be separated. What good would it do anyone?"
Esteban gazed off into the distance. "I know you're tired of hearing this story, mijo, but I went through something similar when my parents died. I wasn't much older than you are now. Puerto Lobos had been my whole life, but I knew deep down that my future wasn't there. Even with that knowledge in my heart of hearts, leaving was scary. Making a life for myself all alone in a new, unfamiliar country was the hardest thing I'd ever done. But I wasn't alone for long. And it was the greatest adventure of my life. Just look where it got me."
"Dead?" Sean muttered bitterly, before he could reel himself in.
"A-ha! Now there's the sarcastic son I know and love. I was starting to get worried," Esteban continued, unfazed. "Death can find us anywhere. But I wouldn't trade one minute of the life I built with you and your brother. And my dream for you is to experience that kind of happiness, too. Whatever form and shape it takes."
The very concept of happiness seemed so distant, so alien to Sean that he couldn't envision any possible path to it. All he could do was try to trust his father, or at least, this memory apparition of him.
"So I should keep going, then. To Puerto Lobos?" Sean looked up, only to find that Esteban had vanished. He let out a long breath, rose to his feet, and brushed the dirt off his jeans. "Guess that's as close to an answer as I'm gonna get."
He rounded the truck and began to rummage around in the cargo bed. The cops hadn't even bothered searching the vehicle or confiscating their belongings from it. Sean still couldn't believe they hadn't impounded the thing. He'd been all set to hotwire a getaway car. What was one more instance of grand theft auto on his rap sheet at that point? But Karen's truck had been sitting in a parking spot, waiting for them.
He grabbed a warm bottle of water and took a swig. Even though it was barely palatable after having baked in the heat for hours, his father had been right. He needed to hydrate.
Sean held the plastic bottle aloft, miming a toast to the El Rey Police Department. "Thank you for your shoddy police work. Here's hoping someone let your best and brightest out of that closet."
As soon as the words left his mouth, the memory of escaping with Daniel sent a visceral jolt of loss through Sean. He had to clutch the tailgate to steady himself, his knees threatening to buckle.
This was all wrong. How could he go on without Daniel? And what had actually happened back there? Had Daniel been angry with him? He hadn't seemed angry, but he'd been adamant that Sean continue on without him.
Sean thought back to the morning two days ago, after they'd camped together in the canyon and watched the sunrise. Daniel had asked Sean to continue the tale of the wolf brothers, but for the first time, he'd wanted to be part of the storytelling.
"It's my story too, right?"
Right. Maybe Daniel had spotted his mighty fire unicorn.
Sean's eye stung with phantom tears. He was finally all cried out.
"Alright. Get it together, Diaz. Time to focus," Sean told himself. After a brief search through the grocery bags, he found the items he was looking for. The map, courtesy of David, and a pack of cigarettes, courtesy of Karen. He pulled out his father's lighter and lit up, taking a deep, fortifying drag before studying the map.
As he smoked, he traced a fingertip over the highlighted route past the border, following it from the spot where they'd initially planned to cross to where he was now.
Mexico had a "free zone" that was established so tourists could drive their American cars through without a permit and without hassle. It covered most of Sonora, and David had plotted a route to Puerto Lobos that was fully contained within the free zone. He'd warned Sean that he would still have to be careful not to get pulled over, but in the free zone there was a much lower risk.
There was a red star by the city of Caborca. It was located just past the halfway point of the four hour drive, and was where Sean intended to stop for supplies and refueling. He would stick to that part of the plan, at least.
Anxious to put additional distance between himself and the border, even as worries about Daniel continued to tug relentlessly at him, Sean forced himself into the driver's seat and steered back onto the road.
The sign for Caborca appeared after what felt to Sean like mere minutes, proving that his sense of time was well and truly muddled. Yesterday might as well have been a year ago. He couldn't even recall having passed any scenery over the past couple of hours. He'd spent the entire drive preoccupied with worry and guilt.
Now, he resigned himself to tamping down those emotions in the name of survival. He would deal with them later, just like the still-unresolved grief and anger he'd buried deep after his father's death.
Sean gripped the steering wheel tighter as the road became twisty-turny. He took in the view of the city as he approached. Nestled beneath a vast mountainside was a varied expanse of buildings. Several historical monuments rose prominently above the cityscape, with clusters of smaller, boxy structures interspersed between them. Palm trees were everywhere.
Once he entered the city itself, Sean had to traverse through cracks and potholes in the pavement, but the roads were well-marked and easy enough to navigate. Banks, gas stations, pharmacies, shops, restaurants, motels, and other miscellaneous businesses dotted the streets. Cars were densely parked along the curbs, a number of them with US license plates.
Sean managed to find an open spot alongside a small, unassuming bodega. He checked himself in the rearview mirror. Shit . His eye was bloodshot, skin blotchy from crying, and his face and eye-patch were covered in dirt. He splashed some warm water from the bottle onto his face and scrubbed at it a bit, then smoothed his hair in an attempt to make himself as presentable as possible.
"Not great, but better than nothing." He sighed and reached for his wallet. A hundred and forty-six bucks. He'd have to make it stretch as far as he could.
A bell jingled above the door as Sean entered the brightly-lit shop. He glanced around at the impeccably organized shelves, and noted several room fans strategically positioned on the floor, circulating air in an attempt to cool the place down. He stood in front of one of them, enjoying the sensation of the breeze against his warm, sweat-slicked skin.
The sound of laughter sailed across the room, and Sean turned to find that its source was an elderly woman behind the counter. Dressed in a cheery pink shirt with large white flowers, she wore her long, white hair in a messy braid.
In another time or place, she would have been a perfect subject to sketch. Sean tried to commit her image to his memory. Maybe he could capture her in his mind's eye well enough to draw later.
She gestured welcomingly and grinned, dimples appearing on her rounded cheeks. "Hello, young man. It's too hot, yes? Good day to stand in front of a fan."
He returned her smile, weakly. "Yeah, the breeze feels great."
"Well, stand there as long as you like. And if you need help finding anything, let me know."
Sean began to browse. A small corner of the store was obviously targeted at tourists. There were funny and whimsical souvenirs that made him think of Daniel, Finn, Lyla… even Karen.
All of whom he might never see again.
Ugh.
He forced the errant thought aside, and moved on to the food section, grabbing himself a chock-o-crisp and a cold root beer. Yes, it was a waste of precious money, but he didn't have the strength to resist the urge. He was so fucking tired of being a grown-up, and he wanted a reprieve, however brief.
"Hey, um, do you know where I could get a prepaid phone around here?" Sean asked as he set his purchases down on the counter.
The woman nodded. "There's a Telcel six doors down. Make a right, and walk past the green taqueria."
"Awesome. Thank you." Sean felt a little lighter. Between that information, and the gas station he'd spotted across the way, he get everything he needed without having to scour the city.
"Anything else for you today?" she asked.
He had intended to pick up more cigarettes, but couldn't bring himself to make the request of such a sweet, grandmotherly woman. "No, I'm good."
She rang him up on an old-fashioned cash register. "Twenty-nine pesos."
"Oh, uh… " Sean pulled out his wallet. "How many dollars is that?"
"We can't take American money. I'm sorry. The laws are very strict." The old woman gave a rueful frown. "Do you have a credit card? Debit card? I take either."
Sean shook his head. His heart sank. He had assumed this would be like Canada, where businesses near the border accept US dollars without batting an eye.
"Don't fret. You just need to visit an exchange bureau. There's one about four blocks over. With your passport, they can exchange your dollars for pesos." She patted his arm reassuringly.
A wave of panic swept over Sean. Why hadn't he done more research? Planned better? Did he really think he could simply waltz into a different country and wing it?
No wonder Daniel had jumped out of a moving vehicle to get away from him. Christ, he was a fuck up. At least no one else had to pay the price now.
"Oh, you poor dear." Wizened hands touched his shoulders and guided him to a rickety wooden stool behind the counter. "Take a deep breath. Everything will be alright."
"It won't… I can't... " he started dumbly. "I don't have a passport."
She looked him up and down, as if studying him. "My name is Paola," she offered, after a moment of silence.
"I'm Sean," he replied. "Sorry for, uh, getting so upset. I'll get out of your hair now."
Paola lifted her long, white braid and held it aloft as far as her plump arm would extend. "Ah, but my hair is not so easy to get out of, you see! No need to rush out. I think you've had a rough day, Sean. Am I right?"
"The roughest," he replied, unable to keep his voice from quavering.
"Well, now that we're properly introduced, I think we should be friends." Paola eyed the door, then pulled out a small metal lockbox from beneath the cash register. "And as friends, I see no reason why you and I can't have a friendly little trade of pesos for dollars. Unofficially. Just between the two of us."
"Wait… really?" Sean looked up at her, afraid his ears were playing tricks on him. Maybe his Spanish was rustier than he thought. "But I don't want to get you into trouble. And won't that leave you stuck with dollars you can't use?"
"Don't worry about that," she said. "My daughter goes to Arizona every week. She and I can do a little friendly trade of our own."
"Thank you." Sean let out a relieved breath. "So much. Really. You have no idea how much you're helping me."
"It's nothing." Paola squeezed his shoulder. "How much do you need to exchange?"
He opened his wallet and removed the contents. "I have one-hundred forty-six dollars, and I should probably exchange it all. If you can."
"I can." She punched some numbers into a calculator on the counter. "It's two-thousand six-hundred and fifty pesos. That work for you?"
Sean felt even more stupid and unprepared at the realization that he had no clue what the exchange rate was. "I have no idea," he admitted. "But I trust you. So, yeah. That sounds great. Thanks, again."
"You know, I've had a lot of help in my life, over the years," Paola said, a twinkle in her eye as she counted out pesos from the lockbox. She handed them over, taking Sean's dollars in return. "So I should be thanking you as well, for giving me a chance to pay a little of that back. Maybe, one day you'll be in a position to do the same for someone else."
"Yeah, I hope so." Sean smiled gratefully and doled out thirty pesos to pay for the candy and soda, but Paola shook her head.
"No charge today."
"But-"
"No charge. Don't argue with your elders," she admonished with a wink. "I ask only one favor. Come back to see me sometime, if you can. It would be nice to see you having a better day."
"Well, it definitely couldn't be much worse," Sean murmured, his smile fading a bit. "And I will." This was the closest city to Puerto Lobos, so it felt like a promise he could keep. "Thank you so much. For everything." He made his way to the door, pausing to wave before he stepped back outside.
Forty minutes and a few errands later, Sean had a belly full of tacos, a cheap, no-frills cell with a prepaid card, and a topped-off gas tank. He was down six-hundred pesos, but he'd gotten everything he needed.
Sean sat in the truck, lit a cigarette and watched the horizon as the sun disappeared behind the mountains, rendering the sky into gorgeous shades of pink, purple, and gold. As darkness fell, the stifling heat became more bearable.
How could the world be such a terrible and wonderful place, all at once? Every time Sean found himself losing hope, ready to throw in the towel, someone turned up to lend a hand and pull him out of despair.
"Thank God for Paola."
He turned on the ignition and headed back to the main road. Next stop, Puerto Lobos.