WhIP

by footfungus

nederlands verhalen over mijn otp

202. AOT and OC

From us, 2000 years from now

liyanne, megstiell, muhyumi

Summary:

It started with a voice and led to a more confusing turn of events.

Or an AU where Eren doesn't have to carry the burden of being the last hope of humanity.

But is it all worth it?

(in the course of being rewritten by LLB, stay tuned for whenever)

Hello! I am muhyumi, formerly known as Ryiason. I wrote this fiction years ago and it was well received. I think. This story, however, has been abandoned. But we are writing a new one now. Click here.

Thank you.

May God bless you!

Notes:

for your viewing pleasure:

italics: memories
italics and bold: voices

some of the memories will be confusing because most of them get mixed up.

italic in sentences: that's just me being obsessed with italics.

Chapter 1: Prologue

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

"I know, I'm asking for too much-"

Where the fuck am I? What is this place? Why is there nothing here? What the fuck is this?

"- but you're my only hope. Our only hope -"

ImscaredImscaredImscaredImscareImscared

"- everyone will die if you don't do anything! Please, please, please-"

Whywhywhywhywhywhywhy?!

"- please save Eren, Armin, Mikasa and everyone!"

Please save Eren, Armin, Mikasa and everyone!

Save Eren Armin, Mikasa and everyone!

Save -

"Eren, Armin, Mikasa! Make sure not to get in trouble, you hear?"

"Yes, mom!"

She breathes in, like she was underwater and breathes out like she's drowning. It's not too far from the truth considering her heart is racing like she ran a marathon and she's sweating like crazy.

Why is she sweating ? Did she run? Where was she running? Maybe, it's just hot. Maybe…

"Hey, Lyanne!" A knock on the door makes her jump. Lyanne? She thinks. That's her name? The door opens and the voice gets louder. "What are you thinking about? Your kids are having trouble with the water -" whoever is on the door stops talking. "- you okay? You don't look so good."

"I'm fine." She croaks out. She's surprised she manages to even stand right now, let alone speak. "I'm fine. My kids, yeah? I'll be there…"

"Okay…" the person closes the door.

She - Lyanne - falls down the floor. Lyanne… her name is Lyanne … that doesn't sound or feel real, at all. Kids? She got kids? She's married? Now, she thinks about it - where the fuck is she? Why can't she remember anything? Not even her name? Did she get into an accident? Is this some kind of a joke?

"Lyanne…" she murmurs her name. Like speaking it would make it more real.

She looks around, realizes that she's basically living in a hell hole. The house doesn't look like a house at all. For some reason, she can remember someone saying, I wouldn't even raise a rat there .

Her head aches. "Fuck!"

No warning. Just -

It's not your responsibility anymore. A voice. Masculine. Too far away. Don't. No, no, no. Don't.

She breathes in to calm herself. She must be… crazy. Insane. She can't remember who she is and now she's hearing voices?

She got kids . She had kids. She has - to go. She needs to go. Right now.

She stands up - Lyanne. Her name is Lyanne. Lyanne stands up, makes herself look presentable and opens the door.

It's not just the house, she thinks. Everywhere is a hell hole .

The kids that she has are… not kids. Teenagers. She has young adults in her hands. She finds them in the forest, collecting woods when the person in her house obviously said water .

"We were supposed to get water?" One of them asks. The one with the brown hair. Smaller than Lyanne. Would it be awkward for the mother to ask for her child's name?

"I…" the other one blinks. Red hair. "Wood. I'm sure it was wood."

Lyanne smiles, tries to. "It was water. We got an adequate amount of wood in the house. Bring that back, anyway. I'll help with the water."

"We have a house?" Red Hair says, shocked. "Whoa? A house?"

Brown Hair shrugs. "As it turns out, yes."

"What the fuck?" Red Hair mutters.

Wait a second. Something is wrong here. "You don't know you live in a house?" She asks Red Hair.

"No! I don't! I do?"

Lyanne says slowly. "You don't… remember?"

Red Hair shakes her head.

"You?" Lyanne asks Brown Hair. "Do you remember?"

"No, I could try , if you want."

Now, what is this situation? "My name is Lyanne. We live in the same house. I think people thought I'm your mother."

Brown Hair snorts. "You look too young."

That should feel like a compliment, why does Lyanne feel like she'd been insulted? "Get back with me. To the house. We have to… discuss something." Lyanne says, ignoring the compliment slash insult.

The both of them nod.

Lyanne helps the kids with the wood. They're halfway from their home when they see a fight happening in the alleyway.

"Bully...ing?" Red Hair raises an eyebrow.

Lyanne clicks her tongue. She doesn't want to stop any fights. She's confused, tired and hungry.

Brown Hair doesn't look like she wants to step in, either but she stares until she starts walking towards the fight.

"Oi, wait -" Lyanne tries to stop her but her grasp doesn't connect. "Hey! What are you doing?"

Brown Hair just continues walking to the alleyway and rips the children out of each other. Lyanne's eyes widen. Fuck . "Hey, wait!" Brown Hair throws the kids except for one .

Brunette. Green eyes. Determination on his face.

" Eren ." Brown Hair says the name like it's a curse.

"Hey, drop that kid -" before Lyanne can finish her sentence, her eyesight blurs.

'A kid. On a boat. Water. People. A lot of people. Everything is underwater. Everything. Nothing is clear, nothing.

"-I'll - ki- all!"

The voice isn't right either. Like it came from a well. Distorted. Not real.

Not real.

A voice. A different one. Says, it's not your responsibility anymore. It's not, it's not, it's -'

Somebody is throwing up in the background. Lyanne turns around and finds Red Hair bending over, holding her stomach.

"Hey! Shit! You okay?"

"Sorry, I-"

"It's fine. Don't worry. Can you stand up?" Lyanne helps Red Hair. She turns her head over a bit and tells Brown Hair, "Let's go."

Brown Hair drops Eren and says, "Stop fighting. We have other things to deal with, you dumbasses."

Lyanne just noticed a blond boy and a girl with a red scarf. Her head aches. She can't do this right now. "Hey, let's go." She repeats. She needs to get far away from here. All of them do.

"It's… not…" Red Hair says.

Lyanne looks at her. "What?"

"It's… not… our… responsibility… anymore…"

Lyanne grits her teeth. "You too?!"

Red Hair laughs, humorlessly. But she doubles over and groans ouf of pain. "Ah, fuck ."

Lyanne manages to take the names of the kids. Not from them but the same person who knocked on her door.

No water? She said. Blythe and Lia came there for nothing?

She got a nosy neighbor but thanks to her, she now knows her kids' names.

Blythe is Red Hair and Lia is Brown Hair, she thinks. Hopefully.

They're all sitting down on the dining area of their hell hole house, looking at each other.

"You felt that, right?" Lyanne asks, finally breaking their silence. "The… voice and the… memory."

"The one with the boat?" Lia asks.

"And the voice who says it's not our responsibility?" Blythe adds.

"Yes." Lyanne nods.

"Maybe, we're just insane." Lia suggests. "I mean, it's not that far-fetched. This place is like Satan's butthole."

Lyanne chuckles despite herself. "I wish we were insane. " But they're completely sane. These two in front of her are not crazy. They're completely normal.

"But how can you explain those things we just experienced?" Blythe asks, her face contorted.

"You okay?" Lia asks.

"I'm fine ." Blythe answers. "Just… I don't know. I feel anxious about something. Like, we need to do… I don't know what. But we have to do it."

"Like what?" Lia raises an eyebrow.

"I don't know." Blythe whines. "I don't know. I can't explain it either. But we have to do it. We have to ."

Lyanne sighs. "Maybe we're just tired. Listen, go and take a rest. I don't think we have an appetite for dinner."

"Speak for yourself." Lia says as she stands up and goes to the kitchen. "I'm hungry."

"Can you make me soup, Lia? " Blythe asks. "My stomach still hurts."

"Yeah. How about you, pseudo- mother ?"

Lyanne laughs. "Yeah, sure. We got food there? You know what, get out. Let me cook. I don't trust your cooking."

This is fine, Lyanne thinks. I could live like this.

Even if something doesn't feel right.

Even if there are voices in their heads.

Even if they are in a hell hole.

We'll be fine, Lyanne breathes in.

Famous last words.

Notes:

edited: april first, just minor stuff

Chapter 2: That Day - Part 1

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Lyanne has felt it before she sees it: the same kid with the emerald eyes and a black hair to pair with it lurking near their home. It's been like this for days , she's starting to wonder if his parents know he's here.

She blamed it on Lia, considering she was the one who saved Eren. But Lyanne started feeding Eren like a kitten two days ago, which Lia and Blythe shrug and say, your prison jail time, not ours.

Not that there is. The Military Police is as good as their promises, bullshit. The first time Lyanne saw one of those, she wanted to punch them. Unmistakably feeling of resentment towards these people who do nothing but drink and act like they own the place. But… she does wonder where it came from, the hatred. She wonders if it is one of those memories she had when she saw Eren or how Blythe feels like something has to be done or else she always feels like she's about to take a shit.

She watches at the corner of her eyes as Eren's friends - Mikasa and Armin - come to fetch him. Eren doesn't want to, Lyanne can tell, something about watching the three women in this house when all Lyanne is doing outside is cleaning the front yard.

Around this time, Lia and Blythe come back with the water, food and wood. They usually ignore the kids but today, Blythe throws them an apple.

"Share that." She says with a smile. She steals a look at Lia's retreating back. The kids gives her a look, too.

Lia doesn't stop but Lyanne can see her shirt dirty with tree branches.

"My jail time, Lia?" Lyanne asks, amused.

"You can't prove shit." Lia bites back as she enters the house.

Blythe follows with a sigh.

Lyanne closes the door and looks at them. "You did well."

"Titans." Lia says, chuckling; humorlessly.

"Monarchs." Blythe adds with disgust.

Considering they had no memories, they decided to gather information about where they are. Titans, a wall protecting them from that, Military Police, and a Survey Corps that go outside the Walls to do… something.

So, same things, anyway. She thinks.

Lia looks out the window and announces, "Eren is still here. Seriously, what's up with that kid?"

Nobody answers her because there's also the question, the memory they saw.

"I'm going to cook." Lyanne decides.

"To feed Eren?" Blythe raises an eyebrow as she organizes the wood. Which she only does when she feels disoriented about something.

Lia snorts. "Of course, to feed Eren. What else?"

Lyanne ignores them and enters the kitchen.

Not before slapping the back of Lia's head.

A few days turned into two weeks and Lyanne already had enough. She marches towards Eren, who now also has Mikasa and Armin, and asks, "What do you want?"

"Nothing!" Eren exclaims. "Why? What do you want?"

"Oh, give me patience…" Lyanne mutters to herself. "Come with me. Being outside here, you're scaring me. What if you get kidnapped? It will be my responsibility if you get taken by force!"

Eren smiles like Lyanne just said she'll give him the world. "Okay."

Lyanne looks at the two other kids.

Armin nods and Mikasa says nothing.

It's not your responsibility, the voice says. Not anymore.

Lyanne massages her head. That voice… it hasn't visited her for a while. "Get inside the house. I guess you know where it is considering you've been stalking us for weeks?"

Eren doesn't look like he's ashamed nor is Mikasa who just follows him. Armin blushes, though. That's alright. At least one of them has manners.

Lyanne enters her house as she watches Eren, looking around, Mikasa is sitting in the dining area and Armin checks the books Lia left on the make-shift living room they do. It's just a box as a table and a few dying chairs.

"The sea…" Armin whispers when he opens one of the books.

Not your responsibility,The voice says again.

What is? Lyanne thinks angrily. "You keep looking everywhere, kid," she tells Eren. "This place is still a sh- hell hole. It's a hell hole."

"Your place is… sad." Mikasa says.

Lyanne can't help but laugh. "Yes, it is. It's falling apart."

Eren shakes his head. "I don't think that's what Mikasa meant."

"What then?" She raises an eyebrow as she looks Eren in the eye.

"There's nothing in here."

Lyanne ignores him and looks at Armin. "Better fix that before Lia comes. That's hers."

"She can read?" Armin asks excitedly.

Can Lia read? Fucking certainly. It's all she does nowadays. Read . Blythe said one time that she wanted to watch. Watch? Watch what?

"She can." She answers, feeling like something just hit her head. She sits down in the living room, breathing heavily. Like Blythe? She thinks.

"Can she teach me? Does she know about the sea?"

Sea? Of course, Lia knows about the sea -

'A man, pointing out at the edge of the sea. Sand. He's angry. He's mad. He's vicious.

"- enemies -"

The scene fades into white until there's laughter, people screaming in delight and the warm breeze and waves-like sound that turns into lullaby -'

"Get out of my house!" Lyanne yells. " Now! "

All of the kids widen their eyes and scramble by running outside. Eren gives her one last look of panic before Lyanne snarls, " Go."

Someone - Mikasa, most likely - closes the door. That is when Lyanne throws up. She feels her chest heaves and stomach turn. Her head hurts to the point she wants to smack it against the wall.

It's not your responsibility, not anymore.

"God, shut up." She growls. "Don't you ever shut your mouth?" She leers to the voice... which is inside her head.

Maybe, Lia is right. Maybe she's insane.

The next day, Eren still watches them from afar.

"A daredevil." Lia comments as she watches Eren by the window. "Didn't you say you yelled at them yesterday?"

Lyanne told them what happened and her… sudden memories. They need to know what triggers it and if the voice and the memories are connected somehow but they came up with nothing. And it's not like any of it makes sense. The memories are hazy and the voice… the voice only says one thing.

"Why don't we just drop Eren off in their house? This can't possibly be healthy with the child." Blythe says.

Lyanne and Lia both roll their eyes. Yes, that's Blythe for you. The voice of reasons.

The three of them step outside their house. Lyanne pushes Blythe to talk to Eren, while Lia whistles away.

" Me?" Blythe whines. "I wasn't the one who yelled at him!"

Lyanne just nods at her.

Blythe sighs and walks towards Eren. She talks kindly, she can tell. Eren is looking at her like he's seeing someone for the first time. After a minute, Blythe and Eren are walking together.

"Okay, let's go." Eren says.

Lia snorts as she walks away and Blythe follows her. Lyanne is left with Eren.

"I-" he starts.

But Lyanne cuts him off. "Don't talk. Let's just go."

Being with Eren is one of her worries. The voice gets louder when he's around. Not that it matters. Eren refuses to listen, and it's not like the voice will tell her anything else except, it's not your responsibility .

"That's not where I live!" Eren exclaims. He rushes towards Lia and Blythe. "We go here!" he points in the right direction before bringing them into his house. "My mom is there and probably Mikasa. Armin is with his grandfather."

"You got a dad?" Lia asks.

"Yes, he's a doctor."

Lyanne feels her stomach drop.

"A doctor, huh? Maybe, he can diagnose us." Lia chuckles.

"Why? What's wrong with you?" Eren asks, confused.

Blythe nudges her with her elbow. "Don't confuse the kid."

"I'm just saying," Lia is still chuckling when she turns her head towards Lyanne. "Right, Ly - what's wrong?"

Lyanne feels sick. Eren's dad is a doctor. Why is that important?

Not your responsibility , the voice says, in an echo. Don't. Don't.

"I'm just hungry." She forcefully smiles. "Hopefully, Eren's mother will feed us."

"She will! She's a good cook." Eren giggles.

They reach Eren's house and he knocks excitedly. When the door opens, Lyanne sees a woman with long, black hair and a gentle smile.

"Hello!" She greets. Lyanne looks at Blythe. She feels like she has to and -

Blythe looks like she's seeing something else. Like she's not there, at all.

"- Eren has told me about you! Come in!"

"Ah -" Lyanne starts, wants Blythe to be away from here but Lia beats her to it.

"Sorry. Blythe wants some fresh air. Lyanne can go first." Lia skillfully reasons out. She grabs Blythe and walks as far as they can go.

Lyanne enters the house, bringing a confused Eren and his mother. "Sorry, Eren's mother -"

"Carla, dear. My name is Carla."

She hopes her smile doesn't look as forceful as she feels it is because, I told you! It's not your responsibility! Not anymore! Get out!

"Okay, Carla."

Carla brings her to a seat and she looks around. Eren looks at her excitedly. "What?"

"My mom is beautiful, right?"

Lyanne smiles. This… she can say truthfully. "Yes, she's very beautiful."

NOTYOURRESPONSIBILITYNOTYOURRESPONSIBILITYNOTYOURRESPONSIBILITY

Lyanne's smile falters. Blythe must feel worse right now.

Eren tilts his head. "Are you okay?"

"Yes. Just feeling a little under the weather. How about we come back next time, Carla?" She says as she stands up.

Carla comes back from the kitchen. "Are you sure? I'm still cooking. Maybe food can help."

"No, it's fine." NOTYOURREAPONSIBILITYNOTYOURRESPONSIBILITYNOTYOURSNOTYOURSNOYYOURSNOYOURS. "I really don't think I could stay."

As it is, Blythe did feel worse.

Not only was the voice loud, she saw… memories.

"It felt really vivid but something was going to happen. There was a rock or something and I was screaming then another one, I don't know if they're connected but a kid was running away, crying! I don't know! I don't know! Please, I want it to stop!"

"You said we needed to save Carla, Blythe. You said -"

"Yes!" Blythe grabs Lia's shoulders, hard. "Yes! I don't know why! But we have to!"

"Is something going to happen to her?" Lyanne asks, a rock, screaming and crying. There's also the fact Lyanne doesn't feel comfortable about Eren's dad being a damn doctor.

"I don't know. B-but - we have to. Okay? We have to." Blythe sobs. " Please …"

"Okay, Bee, we - we will, okay? Stop crying. Tomorrow, we will go there, okay? Shh,"

Lyanne watches as Lia comforts Blythe and sees Lia's knee bounces. She's anxious, too. For Blythe or for something else?

When Blythe falls asleep, Lia and Lyanne go to the kitchen and drink tea. Tea is a generous description. It's only dry leaves with hot water.

Lyanne puts down Lia's cup and asks, "You know something."

Lia looks at her. "What?"

"You're anxious. Different from Blythe or from me. But you are."

Lia looks down at her cup. Touches the rim and says, "I think… We need to steal one of those things Military Police has."

"Privilege? Arrogance?"

Lia shakes her head. "Funny." She snorts. "No. Like, the 3D Maneuver gear."

Lyanne sighs. "Lee -"

"No, listen. I think we should. Blythe said something about seeing a vision that involves death and it involves Eren's mother, somehow. Then you, you looked like you wanted to be anywhere else when Eren opened up about his father. I don't know what's happening but I would feel better if we have something to protect ourselves."

"And it has to be the gear?" Lyanne asks.

"I know I can use it." Lia says. "Don't ask why but I know."

There are moments when Lyanne feels she doesn't know who she is or who Lia and Blythe are. Like right now, this is a different Lia from what she normally is. Lia has always been indifferent looking, says more jokes and says less of what she feels. Except today.

"Worse comes to worse, we get away from here." Lia says. "I know Blythe wants to save Carla but… if it comes down to it, I'll save you and Blythe." She frowns. "The voice is already telling us it's not our responsibility. Then maybe it is not. Maybe we should listen to the voice."

"We cross the bridge when we get to it." Lyanne replies, weakly. She puts down her cup and leans back. "You should take a rest."

"Rest…" Lia laughs humorlessly as she drowns in her tea. "I wish I could. Nowadays, I just feel like I'm counting the days before everything goes to shit."

And you know what, that's true.

The next day isn't any better.

As soon as Lyanne wakes up, Lia is nowhere to be found and Blythe is begging Lyanme to take her to Carla's and Eren is outside the door, knocking.

"Shit, of all days." she mutters.

She's sure Lia is stealing the gear from Military Police right now. She badly wants to go and stop her but -

"Lyanne? Let's go?" Blythe asks.

She grits her teeth. When Lia comes home, she'll fucking get it. She takes Blythe's hand and walks towards the door. She opens it and finds Eren and Mikasa, looking hopeful.

Eren smiles excitedly. "Hi! Oh, is Blythe okay?"

"I'm fine." Blythe pats his head. "Hello, Mikasa."

"Hello." Mikasa says quietly.

Blythe follows Eren and Mikasa while Lyanne is locking the house. Not that there's anything to lock. She looks around, hoping to find Lia but she gives up. Lia will just have to admit she's wrong this time and let Lyanne nags her and -

- she feels her heart races.

What the fuck? She thinks as she looks around and sees a man with glasses. Which is funny because he looks averagely looking but he looks exactly someone she knows.

Eren, Lia's voice from the very first time they saw him. Eren. A curse. A prayer. A mantra. He looks exactly like Eren.

My dad is a doctor, he said. Titans. The walls were created for them, to protect us.

To protect who?

It's not your responsibility anymore. Don't follow. Don't go. Not anymore. Don't. Don't. Don't.

No.

No.

No.

Nonononononono.

She suddenly had an idea that made all of her instincts revolt.

Follow him.

DON'T FOLLOW HIM. IT'S NOT YOUR RESPONSIBILITY ANYMORE.

NO NO NO.

DON'T GO!

DON'T GO!

NO NO NO!

Lyanne does exactly the opposite of that.

She follows him.

What Lyanne has seen is trees.

A lot of trees.

The voice doesn't stop talking in her head either. Talking about how this is not her responsibility and how she shouldn't go.

Don't go.

Don't go.

Don't go.

In other news, she's shocked on how long this man could walk. From morning until evening, he doesn't stop. Not like she's any better, she kept following him. As time goes by he's starting to look like he's carrying something heavier than what he can carry.

Lyanne is about to give up. Her sight are starting to blur, anyway. She has to rub her eyes a few times even if she doesn't really do anything.

Until, beyond the trees, she sees a building.

She hides behind a tree and squints her eyes. A chapel?

The man enters the structure. She's about to follow him when the voice speaks again.

Are you trying to sacrifice yourself?

"You gotta be kidding me…" she murmurs. How can the voice speak ominously like this? When she's about to do the dumbest thing she'd ever done? She follows the man inside, anyway, careful not to make a noise. She opens the door and sees the man enter of what she thinks is another door on the floor.

Are you sure this is what you want?

She runs off somewhere in the trees and hides. The voice becomes louder and she can't see straight now. She blinks and shakes her head. Her breathing become erratic.

Are you trying to sacrifice yourself?

She puts her hands against her ears and bows. Lia has said it before, too. That they should listen to the voice.

Are you sure this is what you want?

But what if the voice is asking what she fucking wants. What, then?

Please, she begs. Just stop talking.

She doesn't know how much time passes. The voice in her head doesn't talking. She blinks, slowly, but her consciousness is fading away. Things don't feel real anymore. She wants to look at herself in the mirror, just to confirm if she's real, if she still looks the same. If she's really Lyanne but she's scared she won't see a thing.

The chapel door opens and the man she followed walks out, a steam coming out of his body.

'Muffled screams and begging for help can be heard from a distance. A sound of explosion can be heard, another scream, another cry.

But she can't stop it.'

Are you trying to sacrifice yourself?

Lyanne follows him.

Are you sure this is what you want?

"I killed… even the children…" the man says.

Are you sure this is what you want?

"Crushed them… with these hands…"

Are you sure this is what you want?

"The feeling of my hand…"

AREYOUSURETHISISWHATYOUWANT?

"ER-"

'"-EN!" muffled as it was but she could hear exactly what it said. Eren.

But why is the voice calling for Eren?

The terrified screams continue. The crying, the begging, it doesn't stop until it does. And it stops, altogether.

Until it stops.

There's no one there anymore.'

Are you sure this is what you want?

"-eke-"

No, she answers to the voice as she watches as the man cries again. This is not what I want.

What she wants is to live peacefully with Lia and Blythe, where there are only flowers, plants, cats, dogs and the sea. Where there's no pain, no suffering.

Where they don't hear voices.

Where they don't see memories.

But this is what I have to do, she thinks before she tackles the man to the ground, wraps her hands around his neck and chokes him.

Are you trying to sacrifice yourself?

The man struggles but Lyanne is stronger. She doesn't know where the want to murder this man is coming from but she has to.

She has to because -

"Save - Eren. Armin. Mikasa. Save - Save -"

The man's eyes widen and scrambles to get Lyanne off of him. He wheezes and Lyanne is about to attack him again when he grabs her hands first and screams, "Wait! Wait! What did you say?!"

She breathes heavily. She looks at him and all her mind is saying is, that Yes, she heard that before, that she has to save Eren, Armin and Mikasa.

"Save Eren, Armin and Mikasa. Save. Save. Save. "

"Why? Why are you saying that? Who are you?" The man's voice raises. He grabs her shoulders and yells at her. "WHY?! WHY?!"

Lyanne opens her mouth but she can't hear what she said. Or does she know what it is. All she knows is that she answers, and the man looks defeated.

"This is not… this is not part of what…"

"Stop Eren." Lyanne murmurs. The man whips his head towards her, eyes wide, mouth open. "Save Eren. Armin. Mikasa."

She's no longer in control of her body anymore. At this point, what is left is a shell.

"It doesn't have to be Eren." The man says, laughing. "It doesn't have to be my son." His laughter turns into cries. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry… I'm sorry it has to be you."

Lyanne watches him as he pulls out a key and puts it in her hand.

"Take this key and hide it from Eren. I promised him that I'll show him what's inside the basement. But it doesn't matter now." He breathes deeply. "But you must -"

Are you trying to sacrifice yourself?

The man takes a box that was beside him and opens it.

A needle and a small bottle.

Are you trying to sacrifice yourself?

He puts the liquid of the small bottle in the needle and he never stops crying. "This will cause some memory loss. But the power that this will give you is -"

Are you trying to sacrifice yourself?

The man injects the liquid in her arm. His hands are shaking.

"It will be a long, hard road but you must reach its end!" The man says as his hand which is holding her arm tightens. "It has to be you to -"

Are you trying to sacrifice yourself?

Lyanne sees a memory, as her body grows warmer. Hotter. She doesn't know why she feels like someone is cutting her into millions of pieces and she wants to scream, to beg anyone to help but nothing is coming out of her mouth.

Are you trying to sacrifice yourself?

'Muffled screams in the distance, numerous explosions and people crying and begging for help.

"-REN!" A voice yells, horrified. Muffled. Too far. "RE-ANNE!" A different voice this time, but as terrified and scared as the first one. Deeper. Closer. "Lyanne!"'

In a different time, this is not where this man will die.

Are you trying to sacrifice yourself?

If you are,

Close your eyes.

She closes her eyes.

And open your mouth.

And something that tastes like ashes is in the tip of her tongue.

Notes:

edited: april first 2021

a little bit of editing

Chapter 3: That Day - Part 2

Notes:

i cried while writing this chapter. and it ruined my whole mood for tonight lol idk how isayama does it idk how hes surviving who is his therapist and may i get the number i beg

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

'A place she doesn't know. A place that she feels like shouldn't exist. And she's there right now, breathing heavily and scared. But she's there.

A voice. "I know, I'm asking for too much-"

If you know you are, then don't ask!

"But you're my only hope. Our only hope -"

A sustained, ringing tone that starts from low rumbling to a piercing screech rings in her ears.

Suddenly, it stops. Then, a voicesays,

"When there is fear, there's courage. When there's hardships, there's hope."

Why does it sound familiar?

A light so bright comes shining out of nowhere. This time, after the light fades away, she sees a mouth, bloody, smiling at her.

She blinks awake as she hears a voice that says, "Wake up, wake up, come on," she opens her eyes and sees a mouth, smiling at her.

"Didn't you have blood in your mouth?"

"Huh?" The person asks. "What are you talking about?"

"Nevermind." She groans. Because… What is she talking about? Why does this person's mouth have to be bloody? That makes no sense. She looks at the person in front of her. Brown hair, that falls around in her shoulder. She's bending down as she offers her hand.

"Hmm? Is there anything you want to say?"

Is there? "No. Nothing. Excuse me, but where are we?" She takes her hand to stand up.

"See, that's why I woke you up because I don't know either. It looks like we're going to get some wood but the thing is… I don't know who you are." She glances at her, expecting. "I have a feeling you might be the same."

No shit, she thinks to herself in panic. Why wouldn't she know who she is?

"- HEY! HEY!" A voice yells. "Hey! You! Both of you!" A woman is running towards them. She stops when she reaches them, breathes in deeply before saying, "I thought you guys are going to get water. Imagine my surprise when someone said they saw you guys in the forest instead."

Who are you? is what she wants to ask but the one with the brown hair ends up blurting out, "We were supposed to get water?" Brown Hair ends up looking at her.

"I…" she frowns. Because Brown Hair is right. It has to be wood. She feels like it should. "Wood. I'm sure it was wood."

The other woman who just came smiles. Or tries to smile because it doesn't look natural as much as she wants it to be. "It was water. We got an adequate amount of wood in the house. Bring that back, anyway. I'll help with the water."

"We have a house?" She blurts out. "Whoa, a house?" Good to know she's not homeless. She looks at Brown Hair.

"As it turns out, yes." Brown Hair shrugs.

"What the fuck..." she mutters.

The other woman scowls. "You don't know you live in a house?"

She answers, "No! I don't! I do?"

"You don't remember?" The other woman prods on.

She shakes her head.

To Brown Hair, the other woman asks, "Do you remember?"

"No, but I could try, if you want."

The other woman looks as confused as she feels. "My name is Lyanne. We live in the same house. I think people thought I'm your mother."

Brown Hair snorts. "You look too young."

Is that an insult? She wants to ask but doesn't.

Lyanne ignores what Brown Hair said. Instead she replies, "Get back with me. To the house. We have to… discuss something."

They follow her. Lyanne takes some of the wood Brown and her got. She wants to ask Lyanne if they're near the house when they see a fight happening in an alleyway.

Kids.

"Bully...ing?" She says, tilts her head. Because… Why does this look familiar? She watches as Brown Hair walks towards the fight and Lyanne tries to stop her. Brown Hair doesn't stop until she starts ripping kids at each other and throwing against the floor or the wall.

Except for one kid. And Brown Hair says the kid's name, " Eren."

She feels her stomach turn and her throat burns. Her eyes roll at the back of her head and -

'There's a boat. And a kid. There are people with him there. Hundreds of them. The boat feels a lot like a funeral. The kid in particular feels angry.

"-ILL - -LL!" The sentence doesn't make sense nor does it ever feel like it's real.

It's not real.

It's not your responsibility anymore. '

She throws up. Lyanne is on her as soon as this happens, "Hey! Shit! You okay?"

"Sorry, I-"

"It's fine. Don't worry. Can you stand up?" Lyanne helps her, but she still feels a little tender to her core. Lyanne turns around a bit to tell Brown Hair something. She doesn't know what Brown Hair does but she can hear a faint childish eek.

"Hey! Let's go!" Lyanne exclaims, frantically.

"It's... not..."

Lyanne looks at her. "What?"

"It's… not… our… responsibility… anymore…"

Lyanne looks shocked. "You, too?"

She chuckles because this is somehow funny. Like group insanity or something. But she feels her stomach turn so she doubles over and curses, "Fuck."

When they actually reach the 'house' which is technically not a house, but she's just happy that she could take a rest because her stomach really hurts, a woman in her late forties sees them and says, "Oh, Blythe and Lia are here. No water? Where did they go? For nothing?"

Lyanne awkwardly laughs as she opens the door and makes them follow her inside.

If the outside is… unique, the inside is no better.

Lia, hopefully, she's right about that, helps her sit and sits down next to her. Lyanne sits across them and sighs. They all look at each other, trying to maintain the very uncomfortable silence they have.

Then, Lyanne says, "You felt that, right? The voice and the… memory…"

"The one with the boat?" Lia asks.

Blythe adds. "And the one who says it's not our responsibility?"

"Yes," Lyanne says while nodding.

"Maybe, we're just insane." Lia leans forward and shrugs. "I mean, it's not that far-fetched. This place is like Satan's butthole."

Lyanne chuckles but worry is evident in her face. "I wish we were insane."

But we aren't, she thinks. "But how can you explain those things we just experienced?" Blythe asks. She grabs her stomach as it turns again.

Lia turns to her. "You okay?"

"I'm fine." Blythe smiles, she feels like it's forced but her feelings are genuine. "Just… I don't know. I feel anxious about something. Like, we need to do… I don't know what. But we have to do it."

"Like what?" Lia raises an eyebrow.

"I don't know." Blythe whines, she doesn't mean to act so childish. "I don't know. I can't explain it either. But we have to do it. We have to."

Lyanne shakes her head a little and sighs. "Maybe we're just tired. Listen, go and take a rest. I don't think we have an appetite for dinner."

"Speak for yourself." Lia says as she stands up and goes to the kitchen. "I'm hungry."

She knows Lia is doing this for her. Abs Blythe welcomes the pampering. "Can you make me soup, Lia? My stomach still hurts."

"Yeah. How about you, pseudo-mother?"

Lyanne chuckles. "Yeah, sure. We got food there? You know what, get out. Let me cook. I don't trust your cooking."

She wants to believe they'll be okay, even if there are a lot of puzzle pieces still lingering around them. She has two people with her who cares about her, it's fine.

It's fine. It has to.

Lia climbs one of the trees and Blythe watches her as she does.

"You said you don't care about Eren." Blythe says, with an eyebrow raises. "What's this, then?"

"There are three kids now," Lia grunts as she finally reaches the only apple in the entire forest. "So, my care added up."

Blythe rolls her eyes. But she has to say, the weather is nice today. The wind is warm and the sun doesn't feel too hot. It's just right. "You know," she murmurs. Lia is going down slowly from the tree. "This feels like a lot like the calm before the storm."

Lia cleans the apple with her shirt. She looks at her and says, "Aren't you a positive-thinker."

"Say what you want but you have to admit we're in a weird state." Talking voices in their heads, unclear memories, no recollection of who they are? Isn't that a recipe for disaster?

"You're way negative. Just be like me, take it one step at a time."

"One of us has to think for our future." She mutters. She helps Lia bring the wood she collected before climbing a tree.

They walk on the way to their home when their nosy neighbor - Paula, her name is - catches them.

"Hey, Lia, Blythe, going home?"

"Yes." Blythe answers, innocently. "By the way, Paula, remember what you told us before, about the King… King Fritz, was it?"

"Yes, what about him?"

Blythe smiles. "Is he helpful to the people? He's the King, right? He must be so kind."

Paula frowns. "Well, no, not really. We never really saw him, actually. He's just… there ."

Blythe feels her blood boils. Fucking monarchs. They should just abolish that system. Or actually just kick the current King and bring another who is not useless.

Lia clears her throat. "How about the titans?"

Paula shivers when Lia says the word Titans. "What about them?"

"What do they look like?"

"Why would you ask what titans look like? They're just tall! Too tall! They are ugly and they eat people. The only person who can kill them accurately is Humanity's Strongest Soldier."

Lia blinks. "Who?"

"Captain Levi of the Survey Corps." Paula says, annoyed. "He's the best at killing them. Only if they don't waste our money, they'd probably be well liked." Paula clicks her tongue.

Lia and Blythe look at each other and decide not to say anything.

They reach their house, waving a goodbye to Paula, and Lia pushes the apple in Blythe's hands. "Give this to them."

"Why me?"

Lia just shrugs and pushes Blythe.

Blythe throws the apple at Eren, who looks shocked. "Share that."

Lia doesn't say anything. She can feel all of them looking at her.

Lia and Lyanne bicker at the door and Blythe just sighs as she follows them inside.

"You did well." Lyanne says with a smile.

"Titans." Lia chuckles without actually meaning it.

She feels disgusted just by saying this. "Monarchs."

Lia walks to the window and checks outside. "Eren is still here. Seriously, what is up with this kid?"

Blythe would like to answer but she feels it's too hypocritical of her to say anything when something is wrong with her, too. So instead, she goes to the wood and arranges it.

"I'm going to cook." Lyanne announces.

Blythe asks. "To feed Eren?"

Lia snorts. "Of course, to feed Eren. What else?"

Lyanne doesn't reply to them but Blythe thinks the slap at the back of Lia's head is enough.

When Blythe and Lia come back from getting some water, they find Lyanne lying down on the floor beside her vomit.

"What the fuck is going on here?" Lia asks as she throws everything she's holding. "Are you okay?"

Blythe goes to the kitchen and takes some rags. She starts cleaning the floor.

Lia helps Lyanne up and makes her sit in the chair. She brushes the hair in Lyanne's face as Lyanne slowly opens her eyes and the frown on her face gets harder.

"Are you okay?" Lia asks.

"I yelled at the kids."

Lia cups Lyanne's face. "Hey, Ly, I need you to listen to me. What happened? "

"Had a vision." She murmurs.

"What's the trigger?"

"Sea." Lyanne answers weakly. Then, she tells them what she can remember and what happened to the kids.

"They probably went home, Ly. It's okay." Blythe says, tries to make her voice as comforting as possible. She pats Lyanne's back and Lyanne leans forward to hug Blythe's middle.

"I'm tired…" Lyanne mutters. "We all are, right?"

It's okay.

Blythe shivers.

It's okay.

Blythe tightens her hold to Lyanne. Is what okay? What is?

The next day, Eren still comes back and they all decide to just drop him off at their house.

But of course, her emotionally stunted women will push Blythe to talk to the kid she didn't even upset. She rolls her eyes and goes, anyway.

"Hey, Eren. I heard Lyanne yelled at you yesterday. She was just… tired and a little bit sick but she didn't mean it, okay?"

Eren looks at her, with his puppy dog eyes and nods. He stands up and walks together with her.

Lia doesn't give Eren any attention and Blythe nudges her with her elbow. "What?"

Blythe snickers. "You care about Eren~ you don't have to hide it."

"I'm not hiding anything! I-"

"That's not where I live!" Eren exclaims suddenly that makes them jump. He starts to point at directions and starts talking about his family and friends.

"You got a dad?" Lia asks.

"Yes, he's a doctor."

Lia gives Blythe a look. "A doctor, huh? Maybe, he can diagnose us."

"Why? What's wrong with you?" Eren asks.

"Don't confuse the kid." Blythe hisses as she nudges her with her elbow again.

Lia is still laughing. "I'm just saying. Right, Ly -" She turns her head and Blythe follows her. "What's wrong with you?"

"I'm just hungry." Lyanne lies, Blythe knows she's lying. "Hopefully, Eren's mother will feed us."

Eren excitedly then talks about his mother.

They reach Eren's house and he knocks excitedly that Blythe can't help but smile at him. The door opens and it reveals a woman.

A woman with long black -

'- hair underneath a boulder and surrounded by a house destroyed. She looks utterly defeated and afraid. She's bloody and she's asking for help, help, help -

And a broken voice that yells "MOM!" While a kid is running away.

Nothing is clear, however. The images she sees are glitching, like they're not supposed to be seen.

But she does.'

It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.

You can't save her.

You can't save her.

You can't save her.

She's sure Lyanne and Carla are talking about something but she's only aware of exactly what is happening when Lia drags her away.

"What's wrong, Bee, you okay?"

She doesn't blink, she's not even focusing on anything in particular. She just breathes deeply, in slow phases. "I - we have to save her."

You can't save her.

"Who?"

Blythe looks at Lia, and she feels her eyes moisten. "Eren's mother." She chokes out. "I know - I know it was her -"

"What is? Hey, Bee! Let's go home -"

You can't save her.

Even if that's the case… if Blythe can't, then who will?

Blythe finds out her name is Carla. Eren's mother. Carla.

A beautiful woman, with long, black hair and a yellow-ish pair of eyes.

She's really beautiful, she seems lovely. She seems exactly the kind of person that needs to be in this world.

She has to save her.

You can't save her.

She will.

It doesn't surprise her to find out Lia is gone. She's always been someone that takes I should have roots instead of feet if I'm not allowed to leave, seriously. But Blythe has a feeling this time, it's not just about her being free to do what she wants.

Lyanne seems pissed about it, though.

"We're still going to Carla's, right?"

You can't save her.

"Yes… Blythe, are you sure you're okay? You're pale."

"Yes, I'm fine. Just a little anxious." Blythe honestly answers.

You can't save her.

Eren knocks get persistent. Lyanne opens the door and he seems happy enough to see them. His face starts to get worried when he sees Blythe. "Is Blythe okay?"

Blythe pats his head. "I'm fine." And to Mikasa, she says, "Hello, Mikasa."

You can't save her.

Eren excitedly walks with them and starts telling them how much excitement his mother has been exhibiting. He says something funny and Blythe looks at Lyanne if she finds it funny too, except no one is there.

You can't save her.

"Where's Lyanne?" Eren asks.

"Wasn't she with us just a moment ago?"

Blythe reassures the kids. "Don't worry. She probably just saw something shiny and followed it. She'll be back." Or lie, more accurately.

Eren doesn't look comfortable about this. He sighs. "I was really looking forward to spending this day with you, Lia and Lyanne."

Blythe giggles. "You'll have more time later. I promise."

They reach Eren's house and Blythe officially meets -

You can't save her. You can't save her. You can't save her. Youcantyoucantyoucant.

- Carla.

"Blythe, right?" She grins at her. She cleans her hand with a cloth before hugging Blythe. "I heard so much about you. From Eren, obviously."

"Mom!"

"Was it supposed to be a secret?"

"Mikasa!"

If this was a normal day, Blythe can imagine smiling and enjoying this company. But she's a woman with a talking voice in her head.

You can't save her. You can't save her. You can't save her. Youcantyoucantyoucantyoucant.

"Actually, I'm about to finish cooking. How about you fetch Armin?" Carla asks. "And also how about Lyanne and…"

"Lia." Mikasa finishes.

Carla smiles softly. "Yes, Lia."

"I could help you." Blythe blurts out. "I mean, Eren and Mikasa-"

"No, no. Armin would like to see you there, too."

You can't save her. You can't save her. You can't save her. You can't save her.

Eren starts to drag Blythe out of the house when she gives Carla one last look.

"I promise we'll be back."

Carla smiles. No. She smiles. "Of course, you are."

You can't save her.

Eren drags Blythe away by holding her hand Mikasa follows them. He tells Blythe stories about Armin and his grandfather but Blythe's full attention is on Carla and how she wants to turn around and go back right now.

They reach Armin's house and Blythe finds Armin outside, already waiting for them.

"My grandfather is out at the moment but he said I could go if I want."

Blythe nods and she's about to leave when Armin just stares at her. She blinks. Ah, right.

Blythe kneels down and opens her arms. "Would you like a hug, Armin?"

Armin slowly smiles and runs towards her to wrap his arms around her.

You can't save her.

A large explosion happens and she suddenly tightens her hold around Armin. She lets go a bit to look at Eren and Mikasa. She drags them both against her and -

Explosion. Screams. Cries.

For a moment, time seems to stop.

You can't save her.

There's an unusual feeling of terror in the wind when Blythe slowly looks up and sees an eye of a titan.

Carla.

"We need to go to your mother now, Eren!" She exclaims. She stands up and runs. She looks behind her from time to time to make sure the kids are still following her. Armin falls down, she stops to help him and runs again.

She can't breathe. She can't breathe. She can't breathe.

You can't save her.

Carla is already underneath a boulder that seems to be the same size of her memories.

You can't save her.

Run.

Run.

Run.

Run.

"No." She whispers, terrified. "No!" Again, with more conviction. "No, no, no!" She runs towards Carla. Tries to push the boulder off her. Eren tries to walk towards them to help but. "No, Eren. Run! Find an adult!" She screams at the kids as she tries to push the boulder to let Carla free. "Now, Eren!" Blythe snaps.

Eren is frozen, however. Like he doesn't seem to believe what he's seeing.

"Mikasa!" She exclaims as she starts to dig this time. Maybe, they could pull Carla off that way. "Get someone, anyone! Go! "

Mikasa's eyes are wide with tears in her eyes but she seems to get what needs to be done. She leaves.

"Eren," Carla starts. You can't save her. Run. Leave. You can't save her."Eren, you need to listen to Blythe. You need to go. Don't worry about me, Blythe is here. She'll help."

Carla is bloody, injured and afraid. But she doesn't let her son know about it. What a fucking strong woman. Blythe can feel her tears fall.

She needs to live. Carla Jaeger needs to live .

You can't save her. You can't save her. You can't save her.

"God damn it," she hisses, in between her tears. "God damn it!"

Mikasa comes running back to them with a man in tow.

"Hannes, take the kids. Please. Take them. I will be fine. Blythe is - Blythe is helping." Carla tells the man.

Blythe can't even feel the pain in her hands because the pain in her chest is much stronger. More destructive. More explosive.

You can't save her. You can't save her. You can't.

Hannes picks up a screaming Eren and Mikasa. Armin gives Blythe a look.

"Go!" Blythe snarls.

Hannes starts running when Carla says the most unexpected thing Blythe can hear.

"End it."

Blythe stops pushing. She feels cold, all of a sudden.

Carla smiles. "Please, end it."

Blythe's face contorts as she sobs. Tears falling uncontrollably. Her chest hurts. She grabs a handful of her shirt. "No." She whimpers.

It's okay.

You can't save her.

It's okay.

Her hands are shaking as she wraps her hands around Carla's neck.

It's okay.

But she hears footsteps that's way too loud to be just for a normal person.

You can't save her.

Blythe doesn't know which one it would be: she ends Carla's suffering first or she dies in the hands of a Titan.

That's when Lia swings with a gear and grabs Blythe while she escapes.

Blythe feels her heart drops as she watches Carla being picked up by a Titan.

Titans are ugly, Blythe watches in horror as the titan breaks Carla's back. They eat people. And as the Titan bites into her, Blythe screams the most wrenching scream she had ever let out.

It's okay.

The gear Lia is using suddenly stops working and they fall to a roof and they crash down the ground.

You can't save her.

Blythe can still hear Carla asking her to kill her, and can still see the scene where a Titan eats the strongest woman Blythe knows.

She grabs a handful of dirt and throws it away. "Fuck!" She screams. She punches the ground. "Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" She keeps punching and punching until her hands bleed. "FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!" Her tears and snot fall down from cheeks to her mouth and she keeps punching and punching until Lia stops her.

"Enough! Enough, Blythe! Stop!"

"I'm so stupid! So fucking stupid! Useless! Fuck! Fuck! "

"No, you're not! Stop!"

"I let her die! I let Carla die! Fuck! Fuck!" She struggles from Lia's hold but she successfully pushes Lia away. She starts to punch the ground again. She's angry - furious - can feel the hot, liquid running to her veins. To whom? She doesn't know. To herself, maybe. To the titan that killed Carla. To Carla who asked her to kill her. To the voice who knew she couldn't save Carla.

It's okay.

"Shut up! Shut the fuck up! Enough! Enough!" She grabs a handful of her hair and pulls. "Enough!"

Lia gathers Blythe and embraces her. "It's okay, shh, it's okay."

She pushes Lia away, pushes and pushes until she grows tired. She cries, whimpers, says Carla's name like a mantra.

And wonders, where did I go wrong?

Why me?

Why me?

It's okay.

It's okay.

It's okay.

You can't save her.

"Come on, come on," Lia murmurs in her ears. "Blythe, we need to move. Remember? For the kids. For Eren ."

Blythe breathes shakingly, as she stands up. Lia looks up at her. "Okay," she says. For Carla. She has to make sure eren survives. "Let's go."

Notes:

edited april 1st 2021 just minor changes people

Chapter 4: That Day - Part 3

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

'There's nothing and for a moment, it seems to be endless. Her heart is on her throat before the light becomes too bright and a voice.

A voice that says, "I know I'm asking for too much."

And it echoes. Too loud. She wants to yell, STOP TALKING but she can't.

"But you are my only hope! Our only hope so please! Protect them!"

Protect who?

Protect them! Protect them! Protect them! Protect them!

And the light is gone in an instant, and the dark swallows everything whole.'

She wakes up with a groan. The sun hits her face, she thinks, angrily It's too fucking bright. She shifts a bit, and slowly opens her eyes to find herself sitting on a root and leaning against a tree branch. She looks at her left and finds a girl. She seems to be around fifteen or sixteen. A bunch of wood in front of them.

Who is this? She asks herself. She wakes the girl up, with the red hair, and she asks her where they are.

So… she doesn't know who she is, and the person she's with is in the same predicament. Lovely, she thinks sarcastically. A woman comes running towards them, telling them they're supposed to get water.

If there's one thing Lia knows is that wood is the one they should be getting. It's wood, it has to be.

The woman tells them to follow her and to go to their house. They have a house. It sounds so funny how she's apparently living with two people and they got a home and she has no memories of them.

She follows the woman, and is about to ask her if they're already at least halfway there when they see a bunch of kids fighting in an alleyway.

It's still a bunch of kids until she sees a boy with emerald eyes and a black hair.

It's not your responsibility anymore.

Before she thinks about her decision, she walks over to the kids and rips and throws the rest of them except for the one with emerald eyes. And as their eyes meet, her vision blurs and a memory that's not hers comes to her mind.

'Boats. Lot of it. Water. Everywhere. In one particular boat, there's a kid with anger that even she can feel against her skin and as he cries, he angrily says, "I… K- ALL!"

This is not her memory.

This is not hers.

It's not your responsibility anymore.'

The woman yells at her that they need to leave because the one she was with looks like she's sick. She throws the kid away from her and feels something crawling in her skin. The kid looks at her with an indescribable look in his eyes. She says some nonsense and leaves.

She follows the other two and she finds out her name is either Lia or Blythe because of a neighbor who keeps bugging them about not getting water. She hopes she's the one named Lia, it feels right.

When they get inside the 'house' which… It's awful to say this, but calling it house is putting it kindly. But it actually looks like a bunch of woods put together and prays it would stick. Anyway, when they get inside the house, they sit in the dining area and look at each other.

They discuss things they felt: apparently, they all heard a voice and saw a memory with the boat. She thinks they're just insane because how else can you explain this shit? And the whole place looked like a shithole? Blythe looks like she's constipated and Lia asks her what's wrong. To make Blythe feel better, she jokes about cooking dinner and they call her Lia and she breathes in relief in secret to getting the name she wants.

This isn't so bad, Lia thinks as she bothers Lyanne while cooking. I could live with them.

And isn't that a nice dream?

Usually, her routine is: find wood, get water and buy food. But today, it's find wood, get water, food and climb a tree to get an apple.

"You said you don't care about Eren." Blythe comments as she takes the apple successfully and Lia murmurs a victory phrase. "What's this, then?"

Lia grunts as she tries to think on how to climb down the tree without jumping. "There are three kids now. So, my care added up."

Lia doesn't see it but she knows Blythe rolls her eyes. She rarely rolls them when she does, it's always something ridiculous. This is not that ridiculous. "You know, this feels a lot like the calm before the storm."

Lia climbs down safely and cleans the apple with her shirt. She looks at Blythe and says, "Aren't you a positive thinker."

"Say what you want but you have to admit we're in a weird state."

Can't we be just insane? Lia thinks. Isn't that a nicer conclusion?

Lia understands Blythe's anxiety. Waking up with no memories and hearing voices in your head can fuck someone up. She thinks of some answers. Maybe they got into an accident, maybe they're insane, maybe whatever it is, is bigger than they are.

And that's what's scary. What if it is bigger than they are?

As they go home, they find their neighbor, Paula, who greets them. Blythe asks Paula about the monarchy (and her weird hatred with them, seriously). Lia wants to roll her eyes but instead asks about the titans.

"- eat people and the one who can kill them accurately is Humanity's Strongest Soldier."

Oh? "Who?"

"Captain Levi of the Survey Corps." She answers, slightly annoyed. "He's the best at killing them. Only if they don't waste our money, they'd probably be well liked."

Lia looks at Blythe, like she's saying, do we believe this shit?

They continue walking and find the three kids, watching their house. Lia pushes the apple towards Blythe and leaves her to give it to kids. She bickers with Lyanne when she gets inside the house and gives Lyanne a rundown on what they encountered.

Lia looks at the window and watches Eren, still looking at their door.

Lyanne says something about cooking.

For Eren? She wants to ask but Blythe beats her to it. So, she adds fuel to the fire even as she gets a slap at the back of her head.

Worth it.

They find Lyanne lying down next to her vomit and Lia spines grow cold. She helps Lyanne up and asks what happened, said something about yelling at the kids - who the fuck care about the kids? She asks Lyanne again and this time she answers, "Had a vision."

"What's the trigger?"

"The sea."

It's not your responsibility anymore.

No fucking shit, it's not.

Lia leaves Lyanne alone with Blythe while she goes to the kitchen to find a rag to clean the vomit.

"Shit," she hisses. She's losing her purpose. She's here for them, for Lyanne and Blythe. Who the fuck cares about the kids?

It's not your responsibility anymore.

She shouldn't care about the kids - shouldn't give them an apple, shouldn't teach Armin to read, shouldn't tell Mikasa she'll teach her how to knit, shouldn't let Eren stay outside their house to stalk them. She shouldn't.

She shouldn't.

But saying and acting it are two different things, and one of them is harder to commit.

The next day, they decided to drop Eren off by their house. Halfway, Eren talks about his father and Lyanne looks like she wants to be anywhere but where Eren's father is.

Eren is the trigger , she thinks. They have to get away from this kid -

- emerald eyes, who looks up to her like she's a blessing, who listens to every word she says and is happy to accept anything she gives him -

- somehow .

When they reach Eren's house, they meet Carla, his mother, and Blythe has an expression on her face that she knows something she shouldn't. She drags Blythe away where she tearfully tells Lia, "We have to save her."

Lia knows who she meant but it doesn't stop her from trying to clarify.

Protect them.

Who?

Protect them.

How?

Blythe is still hysterical when they get home. When she falls asleep, Lyanne invites her for tea. She knows it's anything but tea so when Lyanne puts down a cup in front of her and says, "You know something," she isn't that surprised.

"What?"

"You're anxious. Different from Blythe or from me. But you are."

"I think… We need to steal one of those things Military Police has." Lia replies.

"Privilege? Arrogance?"

"Funny." She snorts. "No. Like, the 3D Maneuver gear."

Lyanne sighs. "Lee -"

Lia doesn't let her finish. "No, listen. I think we should. Blythe said something about seeing a vision that involves death and it involves Eren's mother, somehow. Then you, you looked like you wanted to be anywhere else when Eren opened up about his father. I don't know what's happening but I would feel better if we have something to protect ourselves."

"And it has to be the gear?" Lyanne looks like she'll do anything for Lia to not steal one.

"I know I can use it." Lia says, firm. "Don't ask why but I know."

Lyanne looks at her like she's seeing Lia for the first time.

She adds, "Worse comes to worse, we get away from here. I know Blythe wants to save Carla but… if it comes down to it, I'll save you and Blythe." The world is too big for her, Lia thinks. "The voice is already telling us it's not our responsibility. Then maybe it is not. Maybe we should listen to the voice."

"We cross the bridge when we get to it." Lyanne's voice is weak. "You should take a rest."

"Rest…" Lia thinks of that word like a joke. "I wish I could. Nowadays, I just feel like I'm counting the days before everything goes to shit."

She leaves Lyanne to 'sleep'.

Before anybody wakes up, she leaves.

Lia follows two Military Police for hours. She knows they want people to think they're patrolling the place but the fact they're drunk and laughing hysterically is not really convincing. These two have no gear she could steal but she's hoping they would run to someone with one.

Be careful of what you wish for because you might just get it.

An explosion happens somewhere and the ground vibrates so that some people fall down. There's a moment of silence before Lia can see properly what's going.

Titans are ugly, Paula had said. And they eat people.

This one is not particularly ugly, but it's certainly big and if the munching is an indication of it eating people, then that's exactly right.

It doesn't feel real for a moment, until it starts walking and an undeniable sound of splat is heard.

It just fucking step on a human being, like people step on bananas.

What are human beings for these Titans? Ants?

Suddenly, a man with a gear that ended up looking like a spider comes swinging.

Is… that… Spider-ma-

What the fuck is a Spider-man?

The two Military Police Lia following are frozen on their spot while watching the… Spider-man as he swings near the titan. Iit looks like Spider-man is about to fight, but the titan suddenly raises its hand and slaps Spider-man like a bug.

And the bug lands near where Lia is standing on.

The bug looks half-dead.

People start running everywhere, screaming, crying and that's when it hits Lia.

The walls are built against the titans. But that wall is breached now. What happens, then?

What will happen if the very thing built to protect is now destroyed?

Fuck stealing one of the gears, they have to leave now.

Lia runs towards Spider-man and starts disassembling the gear off his body. He starts mumbling shit Lia can't understand until he says one last thing, "Tell… te… te...ll my…. Mom… sorry…"

She ignores him. Maybe, Spider-man has a burden to carry but Lia has people to protect. She hurriedly wears the gear, it looks half destroyed already, she probably can't use it that much or else it will be useless later and everything she did to get it will be all for nothing.

Lia successfully wears the gear and is about to run when she hears screaming children. She sees one of the titans - smaller, this one - in one of the corners trying to take something. She runs towards it and finds the screaming children in the alleyway, trying to make themselves smaller in the dead end.

It has to be you.

"Shut up," she hisses to the voice. "I have other people I have to protect. I don't have time -"

Screams. Titan's grunting becomes louder. Protect them.

Just this once, Lia thinks. Just this once, Lia .

With her heart in her throat, she activates the gear. One the wires ends up in the building next to the alleyway. She has to kill the titan, that's the only way. She grips her sword harder, and swings near the back of its neck and with her adrenaline running, she slices its nape and swings to the left to land in another building.

She's… good at this. She didn't hesitate on any of her movements, like she has been doing this a long time. Her mind comes back to the present when she hears the crying children thanking her.

It has to be you.

She decides to run instead of using the gear. She already used it, she doesn't trust it's not gonna die on her. Eren's house , her mind supplies. She needs to make sure Blythe and Lyanne are safe because that's what she should have been doing.

Protect them.

Everywhere she looks, there's chaos. The screams and the cries never stop. Lia tries not to think of what that entails as she ignores their pleas.

It has to be you.

When she reaches Eren's house, she sees Carla under a boulder, Blythe sitting besides her and a Titan standing over them.

Protect them.

She activates the gear, hopes she makes it in time and offers Carla a silent apology.

It has to be you.

She swings and before the Titan can touch Blythe, she takes her away. Blythe screams in her arm, and she knows exactly what she's seeing but Lia has no time to care.

Protect them.

The gear dies on them, lands them on a roof and they slide down to the ground with a loud bang . Lia is still trying to recover from the fall when Blythe starts punching the ground. She tries to stop her but to no avail. It's only when Lia says something about Eren that Blythe stops hurting herself.

It has to be you.

"Blythe, maybe Ere -"

"BLYTHE! LIA!" A voice yells and Lia looks at the direction of it and it's Eren, tears on his eyes and snot on his nose, running towards them. "BLYTHE! LIA!"

Mikasa and Armin are right behind him and a man with the Military Police uniform.

Eren reaches them and he hugs Lia's middle, Armin goes to Blythe while Mikasa watches them.

Protect them.

She frowns. "Who the hell are you?"

The man shakes his head frantically. "No time. Go to the boat, take care of them."

It has to be you.

Eren drags Lia and runs. When she looks back, Mikasa and Armin are dragging Blythe as well.

Protect them.

They manage to ride a boat before people pile up. Lia takes off the gear and throws it to the water.

"Lia?" Eren calls.

Lia breathes in. She looks back to see Eren, looking at her with his red-rimmed eyes. "Why weren't you on the boat?" She asks.

"Wha-"

"You should have gotten to the boat way before us, Eren. And you were with a Military Police who knew the protocol. Eren -"

Eren's face distorts before he lunges on Lia to punch her in her stomach but Lia catches his fists before he could touch her. "BECAUSE I WAS AFRAID OF LOSING YOU, TOO!" He tries to set himself free. "I WAS AFRAID IF I GO TO THE BOAT, I WON'T SEE YOU AGAIN!" He's crying wet with tears. "I DON'T WANT TO LOSE YOU!"

"I- I didn't want to go to the boat either, Lia." Armin murmurs. "I'm sorry…"

"We couldn't go to the boat without you." Mikasa says, quietly. Her hand clenches.

Lia breathes in deeply. She kneels down to be on the same height as Eren. She gathers the kids and embraces them. There are no words she could say to these kids to make them feel better. She locks eyes with Blythe, who looks as devastated as she feels.

Suddenly, Eren asks, "Where's Lyanne?"

Lia sighs and lets go of them. "She's probably in a different boat."

"What? But we didn't see her!" Eren's eyes are wide and he's about to say something again but Blythe cuts him off.

"Lyanne is strong. She won't go down easily." Blythe smiles sadly.

But it does nothing to Eren's nerves. For the first time, Mikasa shows emotions. It's evident on her face when she keeps looking around to find Lyanne, maybe, and Armin tries to stop his hand from shaking.

Lia doesn't know how she knows Lyanne is safe, she just does. She looks back at Shiganshina and feels something is wrong. She frowns as she leans forward to look closer.

Mikasa is on Lia, grabs her elbow before she could go further.

"What is it?" Armin asks.

Lia looks back at Blythe, who looks as confused as she is, and Eren, who stil looks like he's seen a ghost.

That's when they hear it: the footsteps; fast and heavy and suddenly something plunges through that completely destroys the thick gate.

Lia's eyes widen, cold sweat builds on her back.

The titan… it destroyed the gate like it's some bread. What else could it do to a human being it could easily break?

When the sun is setting, and everybody has settled in, Blythe's head is laying on Lia's shoulder. Eren stands up all of a sudden and comes to the railing of the boat. The kids try to stop him but he shakes Armin off.

This feels familiar, Lia thinks as she grabs Blythe's hand.

That's when Eren yells, " LYANNE! WHERE ARE YOU? LYANNE!"

That's… that's not how it should have happened.

There's an itch on Lia's skin as Armin and Eren argue.

"The titan-

"- Lyanne -"

"- it's dangerous -"

Eren leaves as he goes search in the boat, again. Mikasa is about to follow him but Blythe says "Let him. If it makes him feel better."

Lia squeezes Blythe's hand as she lets Armin and Mikasa use her lap as a pillow.

Lia closes her eyes and breathes. Something is wrong. But she has no way of knowing what it is or if she wants to fix it.

When they reach Trost, it's already deep in the dark and Eren is too tired to ask about Lyanne. She has no explanation on how she knows that Lyanne has not become a Titan food, lying in the ditch somewhere or encountered the Titan that broke the gate, but she does and that has to be enough. The authorities give them blankets to use and Lia accepts and arranges it while Blythe and the kids talk.

"I'll join the Survey Corps." Eren decides. His voice is tired but it's firm so Lia knows he's serious.

"It's dangerous, Eren. And your parents already told you -"

"Don't try to convince me not to, Mikasa. My mind is made up!" Eren snaps.

Lia finishes arranging the blanket when she turns around and finds Blythe patting Eren's head.

"I'll join, too. I owe your mother that much."

Eren's eyes shine, and he grabs Blythe's hand and promises, "I'll protect you."

Can you? Lia wants to ask but decides against. Instead, she tells the kids to sleep which is easy, because after five minutes, they sleep like a log.

"I know this isn't the time to ask, but on the boat…" Lia trails off.

Blythe nods. "I know. "

So it isn't just her, that feels that something about it wasn't right.

"And there's also Lyanne." Blythe adds, looking at her. "We know she isn't dead."

This time, Lia is the one who nods. "What does that mean?"

"I wish I knew." Blythe breathes. "Maybe, Carla would still be alive if I knew what is going on."

Lia grabs Blythe and hugs. "We had no choice, Bee. I'm sorry."

Blythe hugs Lia tighter and pushes face against her neck. She doesn't talk, but this is enough.

It has to be enough.

The next day, the authorities give them food but Blythe has no appetite and Lia is not really feeling like eating. They do force the kids to eat, though, and save the food they couldn't get through for later. Eren and Blythe are in one corner, talking silently, while Armin is with Lia, where she tries to spell things to him and how they're pronounced. Mikasa is sitting next to her. Occasionally, Lia will pat her head just to let her know she's there.

Night comes, Blythe and the kids are sleeping but Lia can't. Instead, she walks outside and goes to the courtyard. There are less people here than it does in the morning but one person in particular looks like they're drunk, swaying while walking and looks like they barely can stand up. They're very far from her but she squints her eyes to look at them closely.

Lia blinks. Could it be…? She walks faster and sees the person clearer. The line of the body, the shape of their head - it could only be -

"LYANNE!" Eren's voice rings in her ears and finds the kid running faster than her and hugs Lyanne.

Lia reaches Lyanne and she looks out of it; eyes out of focus and mumbling something that doesn't make sense. She checks Lyanne's for… something. Marks, maybe. Bruises in places that shouldn't be there. None. She sighs in relief.

"Let's go, Ly. Eren, help me guide her."

Eren nods frantically as he holds Lyanne's hand and walks slowly. He wakes up Armin and Mikasa when they reach the space they were sleeping on. Blythe's eyes are wide and for the first time when they left Shiganshina, she smiles genuinely. Lia gently settles Lyanne in the blankets.

"Armin," Lia looks at the kid and he's already crying. "Hey, it's alright. Get some water, okay? We'll clean Lyanne before she takes some rest."

"I'll come with him." Mikasa says. "I- I'll ask for food, too."

"Okay." Lia replies. She goes back to Lyanne who's still mumbling some nonsense. "Eren, I know you don't want to be far but we need more blankets."

Eren blinks. He really doesn't look like he wants to leave but - "Okay! I'll be quick!"

When he does, Blythe is the one who asks it.

"Are you okay, Ly? What happened?" She brushes the hair out of Lyanne's face.

"...gu…me…"

"What?" Blythe asks again.

"It… guided me…"

"Who?" Lia asks at the same time Blythe says, "Guided you…"

"It… guided… me… there…"

"Guided you whe-"

"Blankets!" Eren exclaims. "I have them!"

Lia sighs but takes the blankets in his hands. "Thanks, Eren."

Few minutes later, Mikasa and Armin come with a bucket of water, a clean towel, and some bread. They clean Lyanne, feed her, and make her drink water. They lay down with Eren on Lyanne's left, Armin on her right. Blythe is beside Eren, and Mikasa is beside Armin and Lia is beside her. They're all hugging each other, snoring and occasionally snorting in their sleep.

Except Lia.

Lia is staring at the ceiling and doesn't even blink.

Because… Lyanne said it guided her there but where did it lead her in the first place?

It has to be you.

Lia closes her eyes and puts her hands on her ears.

Protect them.

Notes:

edited april first 2021

Chapter 5: Night of The Separating Trio

Notes:

i don't have a schedule for posting. im a ghost writer. you will see me when i want yall to see me.

im kidding but i just write and update when i can. I LOVE YALL

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

"Aren't you too young to be a Ranking Officer?" The man asks who gives Lyanne a look of confusion and disbelief.

Lyanne has received this look too many times for her to be bothered. "Yes. Yes, I am." She signs the papers the man wants Erwin to sign but it's just a bunch of permission to check the trainees out. It's just another phrase for we're letting you manipulate some kids to join your death trap of an organization, you have our sympathy and Lyanne has more luck on asking Erwin if he had sex last week than asking Erwin if he could check these papers out himself. She finishes and gives the man - he said his name before but it's not like Lyanne particularly cares - the paper and waves him away.

The man looks like he has something else to say but Levi, the Humanity's Strongest Soldier and a Captain of a squad, comes walking with Lia in tow.

Lyanne stands up and clicks her tongue. "I'm going to greet my superior. You can leave anytime."

The man blinks and slowly backs off.

Levi and Lia watch as the man turns around to leave.

"Another piece of shit?" Levi asks.

Lyanne smiles. "You know it, Sir."

Levi looks at the mess of papers on her table and says, "Lia, stay here." He swings the door open and slams when he closes it.

"Commander Erwin still giving you a hard time?" Lia asks.

Ah, yes. The mess last week. Lyanne 'accidentally' punched an MP because she saw him sexually harassing a woman, and would kill him if the woman he was harassing didn't stop her.

Consider yourself lucky, piece of trash . She remembered hissing at the garbage. I would kill you right here.

The MP got an appropriate time in jail and she got an appropriate amount of paperworks that could last a lifetime. It's a win-win for Erwin, who both want to put a middle finger up at MP and less papers for him to handle.

"He'd probably stop in a few days." Lyanne huffs a laugh as she sits down. Lia sits on the table and looks at her. "What about you? Why are you here?"

"Captain Levi asked -"

"- and you delivered because you are his pet."

"I am not." She frowns.

Lyanne rolls her eyes. "You do realize you're not needed here when he's just going to talk to Erwin, right? He just likes leading you around, like a dog."

Lia raises an eyebrow. "He just wants me to get used to this kind of situation, that's all."

What situation? She's about to counter Lia when Blythe comes running in with a bunch of paper. She groans involuntarily. "That can't be some Squad Leader Hanji's papers, can it?"

"I'm afraid it is, is Commander Smith in?"

"I'm here and that's what matters. I'm doing his paperworks until he decides he doesn't hate me."

"Are you going to sign them yourself?" Blythe asks, as she passes the thick papers to Lyanne.

Lyanne narrows her eyes. "No." She pouts. "Worst. I'll summarize them. Squad Leader Hanji gets descriptive with their words and Erwin hates it."

"They just want to inform Commander Smith of what's going on, okay?" Blythe defends. "Anyway, what were you both talking about before I came?"

"Lia, and her owner, Captain Levi."

"You have to give this a rest." Lia sighs.

"Whatever you say, white man's whore. "

"What." Lia deadpans.

"What?" Lyanne asks back.

"Lia."

"What?" Lia turns around and finds Levi looking back at her. "Sir."

"Let's go." Levi doesn't spare any of them a glance as he walks away.

"See you guys for dinner!" She jumps out the table and chases Levi.

Moblit pops out somewhere and hurriedly exclaims, "Blythe, we need to go now. I'm afraid Squad Leader would do something drastic if you weren't there to stop them."

Blythe rolls her eyes. "See you for dinner, Lyanne." She walks away and Lyanne looks at her longingly.

The door in the entrance is open and from here, she can see the sunlight coming in. She stares at it for a few moments, trying to catch a feeling she couldn't hold on to but it's gone in a second after another man comes in and tells her about how Erwin needs to sign a bunch of papers.

She grabs the papers, angrily. "Give me that ."

The man blinks. "You aren't -"

"Yes, I'm not the blond, tall, and thick eyebrows you want to see but I'm his Assistant slash Ranking Officer so you're going to deal with me until he decides to forget I punch a piece of trash."

"You're the one -"

"Yes."

"But aren't you too - "

"Yes." She leans in and gives the man a look. "So, are you going to shut up so I could read these papers or are you gonna continue to bother me with the fact I'm a woman in power?"

The man closes his mouth with a snap.

"Thank you." Lyanne breathes in as she curses Erwin's name in her heart.

#

Lia stares at the sunlight on the ground, feeling like something isn't right when she feels a hand touch her back.

"What the fuck are you doing." Levi says, his voice flat.

"Sorry, Sir. I was dazed."

"Get moving." He grunts. "We need to buy some cleaning products and I doubt those pieces of shit would choose that's up to my standards."

"Yes, Sir." She walks out the shop and looks back at Levi who pushes her shoulder forward. His hand never leaves her shoulder as they walk around.

Lia met Captain Levi a few months after what happened to Shiganshina. Blythe decided to join the Survey Corps because of Eren, or so she says, but her eyes say differently. Lyanne and Lia joined because they're not about to leave Blythe alone. It was just a random visit from Commander Smith, he does it a lot when he's trying to scoop some new recruits, and Levi came with him.

Are you that brat who saved a bunch of kids from a Titan? Levi asked.

Lia blinked because she didn't realize those kids would talk. Yes, she answered. Because denying it seems to be a moot point.

Levi raised an eyebrow at her and said, if you don't have common sense, you'd join Survey Corps. If you do join, I'll take you under my squad. Don't disappoint me.

And she hadn't, when she graduated and chose to join Survey Corps, to die.

Interesting, Levi had said when he saw her waiting for him in Erwin's office. Not bad, kid.

"How many times do you have to be dazed in a day?" Levi snaps.

"This why I told you to bring Petra alo -"

"There. Go to that shop and stop talking ."

"But -"

"Lia." Levi uses a tone he never really used until he's genuinely pissed.

"That shop, Sir, right?"

Levi's hand squeezes her shoulder as a response.

#

Blythe finds Hanji in a predicament she has seen a thousand times but still doesn't make her used to it.

"Hanji," Blythe says their name with a breath she didn't realize she was holding. "Kissing a titan is not an experiment. It's a deathwish."

"They'd kiss someone else if they actually asked." Moblit mutters beside her. She decides to ignore that. Blythe has no interest in knowing who Hanji wants to kiss. Unless it's a titan. A titan is no-go.

"Sorry, Bly, you were too long. I thought I'd get away with it."

"I was out for half an hour." Blythe whines. "Nevermind." She murmurs. It doesn't matter

Hanji excitedly walks over and wraps a shoulder around her. "Did you see Erwin? How is he?"

"Commander Smith is not taking any visitor." She replies as she catches the titan groaning out of pain. And a smoke coming out of it. "What are you doing with the titan?"

"Ah, so, he's still 'pissed' at Lyanne for punching an MP."

"Pissed is not the word I would use." Blythe says because Erwin is not pissed. He just didn't enjoy that the punch came out from his subordinate. "I'm not asking again, what are you doing with the titan?"

"You see, remember when we talked about how titans are not affected with fire?"

"...yes?"

"And then you said it might be because of either the temperature and the location of the fire…"

Please, don't. No. No. "Please tell me you didn't put a fire inside the titan's body."

"I, uh… technically didn't. I asked them to put the fire inside."

Blythe slaps her face and groans. She leaves Hanji from where they're standing and yells, "KILL THE TITAN!" Because for the sake of Wall Sina, what the actual fuck -

"I'm just trying to prove a point." Hanji pouts. "Because you might be right!"

"The body of the titan could be poisonous and it could be airborne! We need more data before we could proceed with this! We don't just set a Titan on fire!"

"Ohhhh… so, that's the problem." Hanji sniffs. "Sorry."

"For the love of - somebody kill the titan!" Blythe snaps as she stares at everyone starts to run around. The fire starts eating the titan, slowly, that it starts to look like the sunlight. There's something how it looks like one that makes Blythe stare at it.

"- lythe, Blythe, hey, the fire is getting too big!"

Blythe blinks herself back to reality and starts ordering to get some water.

#

Lyanne hates Erwin Smith, because he's an asshole in all the right places and where it matters. But if there's anything she can respect with her annoying ass boss, it's probably the fact he respects her time with her family. Dinner is their time, it will not be compromised. She still has a lot of paperworks to do but that's the problem for future Lyanne. Now-Lyanne is about to meet her sisters and she could relax. She enters a restaurant where they frequent and the lady who owns it waves her inside.

"Come, come. Your sisters here?"

"Not yet." Lyanne answers. Levi is probably still with Lia and refuses to let her go until the very last minute and Blythe can't leave Hanji until she drills into their head that they can't do something so dumb, it will need to be written in a paper to formally inform Erwin they fucked up. "Why? You got something for me?"

"One of the men who was with the recruits gave me a letter. Same old."

Ah, she thinks. Yes. Armin . It is his turn to write for them, anyway. Even if they don't reply. "Thanks." As she takes the letter out of the lady owner's house. "If you see... him, tell him thanks."

"Alright."

The restaurant is, thankfully, not full. So, she sits far away from the door and sighs as she checks the letter. Thick. Great. More papers to read.

Blythe comes in, looking like she was dragged to hell and barely survived the demon's hand. "Don't ask." She tells Lyanne as she sits across her.

"Okaaaay…" Lyanne points her mouth towards her before clicking her tongue. "But in a way, is Erwin going to have to be involved?"

"Expect some papers from us tomorrow."

"Fuck." She groans. " Again? "

"Don't ask ."

"I'm not asking, I'm not." She holds up her hands like she's surrendering.

Blythe sees the letter. "Armin?"

"Yeah, it's his turn. Let's read it when - oh, hey, Lia! Over here!"

Lia comes to the restaurant with the rest of her squad. Levi is next to her and nods before she leaves. "Hey, guys."

"Really, Lia?" Lyanne eyes Petra and the rest of them giving an odd look to their direction. "Really?"

"Captain Levi said we're all tired and we don't have time to cook and clean our messes so - listen, we shopped for food and cleaning supplies. And we just finished. I'll be sleeping by the time I get to our barracks." Lia sits in the middle. "What did you order?"

"Not yet. Here," Lyanne passes Lia Armin's letter. "Read it."

"Oh!" Lia opens it, excited.

Lyanne orders their usual and while they're waiting, Lia's voice softly narrates what the letter say:

Lyanne, Blythe and Lia,

We just got our grading today! Mikasa is first, and Eren is five! I'm not part of the Top Ten, but I'm already happy enough that I graduated. I'm not good with the physical stuff, you know this, but I did it! I'll be joining you guys soon, all of us.

Sorry, I wanted to start this letter to ask you guys how you are but I'm just so excited to tell you this. I can't wait to see you and tell us how proud you all are.

Mikasa and Eren said hi, but this is my letter so don't mind them.

Today, Eren fought with Jean, again. You guys remember Jean? I'm sure Lyanne will know because I pointed to him the last time she checked on us with Commander Erwin. They fought over the smallest things but I think it helps Eren, a lot. He misses you guys, all of us do, but Mikasa and I are better at coping. Eren wants to tell Reiner about you, I think it's because Reiner is so good with combat. It reminds him a lot when Lyanne just threw around when sparring. There's this one that reminds me a lot of Lia, Annie, remember her? Mikasa said she wrote in her last letter how she's good at combat. I wonder if you could meet them and teach them how to throw a punch.

Speaking of Mikasa, she's the same. She remembers a lot of Lia's advice on the gear and that helped her a lot to pass. I don't know how it helped her but not me and Eren. In theory, it seemed so easy and Mikasa can apply it really well but I can't. She's quiet but she asks a lot about you guys with the instructors here. Lia is well known here, too, Humanity's Strongest Soldier protégé. How nice is that?

I'm the same, too. I wonder if I could join Blythe's squad? I heard she's under Squad Leader Hanji Zöe's command. They seem to be pretty smart from what we can hear about it. If Blythe is there, does that mean we can help each other to do smart things?

It's been years and I didn't give up. Are you proud of me?

Hope to see you soon.

Sincerely yours,

Armin

Lyanne sniffs as Lia finishes narrating. "They grow up so fast."

Blythe is about to say something but stops to smile at the waitress carrying their food. After she finishes putting out their dishes, Blythe asks, "Did they grow taller?"

Lyanne grins. "You bet! Eren is taller than Lia now, you know? I bet even Armin."

"Now, first of all," Lia butts in. "Anybody can be taller than I am."

The three of them spend their dinner, laughing and talking, spending time together like they aren't in borrowed time.

"Lia," Levi's voice rings in Lyanne's ears and she thinks, right on time. "Let's go."

Lia stands up, slowly, and looks at the two of them. She kisses their foreheads and waves goodbye. "See you!"

"Take care!" Blythe exclaims as they watch Levi guide Lia out by putting his hand on her back.

Blythe finishes two glasses of water before Moblit comes running about how Hanji is back to their usual antics.

"Well, that's a record." Lyanne comments. It's true. Usually, Blythe can only drink half a glass.

Blythe kisses her forehead before leaving.

This is the part of the day Lyanne hates. She can handle the paperworks, the titans, the undying looks of disbelief and sexism every time they learn she's a Ranking Officer and Erwin's assistant. But feeling this lonely, all alone? It's annoying. It's upsetting. She misses Lia and Blythe, like how a person would miss a limb.

She pays for the food, exits the shop and looks up at the sky. She walks towards the little house she managed to rent in the city. It's near her job and isn't that sad? She lives alone, so she just gets inside, drinks some water and takes off her uniform and falls asleep.

It's better to sleep than think of why she's lonely.

#

As soon as Blythe comes back to Hanji's barracks, she makes sure Hanji writes the paperwork of the Fire-Inside-A-Titan thing, and Hanji cries as they write it.

"I said I was sorry!"

Blythe ignores her. "Finish that, drink your tea - Moblit will send it here - and take a rest. Experiments can wait tomorrow but not health. I will go now because I need to wake up early to send that paper you're going to finish today." She finishes firmly.

Hanji sniffs.

Blythe nods a goodbye and is about to leave when Hanji asks, "Did you have fun?"

Blythe turns around. "With what?"

"Your sisters. With dinner and stuff."

She smiles. "Yes, I have. Thank you for asking, Hanji."

Hanji swallows and smiles. They are staring at Blythe with a look in their eyes. "Right. I'm glad."

"Hmm. I'll be going now."

"Yes." Hanji clears their throat. "Good night."

Blythe echoes, "Good night." She walks back to her room. She sheds her uniform, and cleans herself. She needs to read some of the journal of the squad to what happened to their experiment and give Hanji a schedule on what to do. After that, she'll sleep.

It's nice to have something to be busy with, makes her loneliness without Lia and Lyanne easier.

#

Lia is tired.

It doesn't help that Olou and Gunther are arguing about something. She can feel a headache coming in when Levi barks, "The next person who won't shut up will clean the horse shit for a whole week."

Everybody shuts up.

"Good. Now, I will not order for you to clean but put all these things, properly. If I see one thing not in order, you will be cleaning horse shit and the lavatory."

Everybody actually put things in order and the fact everybody is quiet while doing so is such an achievement, if she says so herself.

It isn't until she sees a broom with a stick that reminds her.

"Where's Sir Mike?" She asks, the first words after the silence.

"What a good fucking question, Lia," Levi drawls. "Petra, lock the gate. The dumbass, he's still not here. Let him knock."

After they finish, all of them start walking to their rooms. Levi and Lia's rooms are across each other's. That's why, without fail, Levi will remind Lia to, "Take a shower and drink tea if you can't sleep." Like right now.

"Thank you, Sir. I will." She smiles.

Levi doesn't respond. He just closes the door on her. She sighs as she gets inside her room, too. She breathes in deeply and exhales loudly.

By this time of the night, Lyanne and Eren are probably talking about the right way to punch a man. Blythe and Mikasa are knitting in the corner and she's reading a book to Armin and then they all fall asleep besides each other.

She misses those times.

She misses when it was easier.

#

After everything Lyanne had been through, one would think she'll be good at handling surprises but she stands corrected.

"Excuse me?!" Lyanne blinks for a few times because… what?

"You won't be joining us for the expedition tomorrow and I will leave you in charge. I need you to check the trainees. Check who will be joining the Survey Corps."

"This is too sudden, Sir. I - I thought -"

"It will be a regular, monthly mission, Lyanne." Erwin replies, drily. "I will expect good results by the time we're back."

Lyanne usually can joke around Erwin, he never seemed to mind if she's disrespecting a little but there's always a line that not even Lyanne can cross.

"Yes, Sir."

"Good. You may go now." Erwin orders.

Lyanne salutes him and turns around to leave.

"Wait, Lyanne." Erwin says. Lyanne looks at him. "Your kids…"

She scowls. "What about them, Sir?"

"Are they joining us?"

Lyanne never told Erwin about Eren, Mikasa and Armin but she guesses a man like him can find any information that will benefit him.

"I'm not sure." She lies, airily. "It's theirs to decide."

"I see." Erwin nods. "I apologize for stopping you. You may go back."

Lyanne would like to call Erwin strange, but that man is just two things: manipulative and cunning. She wants to ask him, why did you choose me to assist you? What did you see to make you think I can handle this burden? Because she knows Erwin won't put her near him if he doesn't have any plans about her.

Instead of asking that, however, Lyanne just closes the door gently. She could ask, but Erwin has always kept his cards close to his chest. If she wants to know something, she'll just have to kill him. But by then, dead men tell no tales.

#

Instead of eating dinner, they decide to make sandwiches. The lady owner of the restaurant they frequent let them use the kitchen. The sandwiches are for Lia and Blythe to have for the expedition tomorrow, and to give to the children when Lyanne visits them.

"I have no idea why he let me in charge." Lyanne complains as she spreads a jam on the bread. "And he has to say it, a day before the expedition."

Lia replies, "It's probably because the monthly expedition and visiting the trainees clashed. He can spare you to do the one job while he does the other one."

"Or he could handle his schedule better." She hisses and puts one bread on top of the other. "I forgot. Is peanut butter still Eren's favorite?"

Blythe puts down the knife loudly. Lyanne and Lia look at her. "You realized we'll be separated tomorrow, right?"

Lia answers, "That's right."

"The last time we did that crap, titans breached the wall."

And Blythe had to watch Carla die, Lia had to steal a gear, watch a man die for it, and save Blythe and Lyanne had to be led and guided somewhere that she doesn't remember.

So, yes. She knows they'll be separated. She's terrified about it, too.

"You know, the chances of that happening again is one in a million." Lyanne tries to smile, to reassure. "We'll be fine."

Lyanne could never be more wrong.

Notes:

edited: april first

Chapter 6: In The Midst of Despair

Notes:

i wish i can tell you guys this has been enjoying to write but it was hell. isayama if youre reading this its on sight my dude

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

"Erwin wants us to cover the other villages we're supposed to do for the next expedition. I guess Erwin needs to take a shit if he's this excited to finish them. Shitty four eyes is probably talking to their own squad about this." Levi looks at Lia. "Brat, you can talk to your sister and come back. I know how overdependent you are with them."

Lia swallows the lump in her throat and nods. She guides her horse towards where she found Hanji's squad last and finds Blythe halfway.

"Has Captain Levi told you?" Blythe asks her, worried evident in her face.

Lia sighs. "Yes." A pause. "You know, this is exactly what happened the last time."

Blythe smiles, leans forward and cups her face. "Lyanne said the possibility of that happening again is one in a million. I want to believe that. Besides, this will only take one day. One . We will go back home and hear Lyanne complain about how Commander Smith is annoying." She pats Lia's face. "We'll be fine."

Lia wants to believe that, she desperately hopes they're right but fate has always had a sick sense of humor. "Yeah, you're right." She lies.

"Lia, time's up. Let's go." Levi's voice rings her ears.

Blythe lets her hands fall and wave a goodbye. "I'll see you."

"Yeah," Lia replies, weakly. She turns her horse around and looks back at Blythe one last time before leaving. She follows Levi, who guides her back to the squad.

"Already said goodbye to your sister?" Petra asks.

"Yeah."

"I still don't understand why she has to say goodbye. This isn't the last time you'll see her, brat." Oluo butts in.

Guther slaps the back of Oluo's neck and clicks his tongue. "If you don't have anyone you cherish, mind your own business."

"Shut the fuck up, morons, and let's go, Lia," Levi calls. "With me."

It'll be fine, she thinks as she catches up to Levi. Both Lia and Blythe said one in a million chances. It will be okay.

But even after everything she said, the sunlight seems to be too bright today.

#

Lyanne's schedule today is checking the trainees, going back to her paperworks, buying dinner and waiting for Lia and Blythe to eat with them, then sleep and hopefully, tomorrow, there will be less paperworks for her. Which is wishful thinking but she's allowed to do that, okay? Once in a while… curse you, Erwin fucking Smith.

She finally reaches the top of the wall and the trainees are… well, they look exactly like what Lyanne imagined trainees would be; wide-eyed, wet-behind-the-ears teenagers that have attitude in all the wrong places. They're probably bitching on why they have to clean the equipment. She clears her throat to make her presence known, making the trainees, and the instructor guarding them look at her.

"It's you, Ranking Officer." The instructor says.

"Yes. Commander Erwin Smith's orders to check the trainees out. He's not here because of the usual schedule of the Survey Corps." She walks towards the instructor and gives the permission slip for the Survey Corps to observe the trainees and Lyanne as Erwin's substitute in his absence.

The man is reading the papers when she hears an Eren has a crush~ and when she turns around, Eren is smiling… too widely. She flinches. She's about to turn her head back when she sees Armin basically having the same expression on his face. It's only Mikasa who doesn't look like she's vibrating out of her skin but the tick in her hands give her away.

"I understand." The instructor says as he gives back the papers. "I'll leave you here with them." Which is another phrase for I'll give you time to manipulate, best of luck.

She watches as he descends down and breathes in when she turns her attention back to the trainees. "Well, gather around."

Eren, Armin and Mikasa don't need to be told twice. They basically run in front of her and have, except for Mikasa, creepy smiles on their faces. The rest is confused and hesitant.

When they're all lined up, Lyanne says, "My name is Lyanne and I'm the Ranking Officer and Commander Erwin Smith's assistant. I'm here under his command to observe the trainees." A pause. "That's the official words I should say. But the real reason I'm here is to try to convince some of you to join the Survey Corps."

"Who would want to join the Survey Corps?" A kid that looks exactly like who Armin pointed out before, snorts a laugh. He has a name, Lyanne remembers. It's on the tip of her tongue. Ah, right. Of course. Jean .

"A lot of people have different reasons to fight, boy." Her eyes lock with Eren but it's gone before he reacts. "I'm not here to force you to join, anyway." She remembers the brown bag she's carrying. Right, of course, sandwiches. "Here, I brought you guys food."

"Are you bribing us?" A girl with freckles all over her face raises her eyebrow.

"With food?" Lyanne chuckles. "Wish it was that easy. No, this is technically not for you all but…" she opens the bag and throws two sandwiches to Eren, and another two to Armin and then two for Mikasa. She takes one for herself. She throws the bag to the girl who's drooling since Lyanne threw sandwiches to Eren. "Knock yourselves out."

The girl blinks before she opens the bag and takes all of the sandwiches. The rest of the trainees fight her for it.

"Lyanne!" Eren exclaims before he gives her a big hug. "You're really here!"

Lyanne hugs him back. Not before with a sigh and a roll of her eyes. "Yes, I am."

"Eren, it's my turn!" Armin tries to pry Eren out of his embrace to Lyanne. He succeeds and it's his turn to hug her. "It's nice to see you."

"Yeah, yeah. You guys grew up so fast! You're so tall! Wait until Lia sees you guys, she'll freak. Blythe would probably enjoy your growth, though."

Armin pulls himself away and asks. "Where are they?"

Lyanne just pats Mikasa's head because she knows Mikasa is not that comfortable with physical contact. It becomes useless, though, when Mikada hugs her middle and whispers, I'm glad you're here.

"Lia and Blythe… they went outside the walls. Usual routine. Hopefully, they'll be back tonight or tomorrow." Lyanne answers, smiles to reassure them. "You know how good Lia is with the gear, right? And Blythe is too smart to let herself be outwitted by some mindless 70 feet tall, man eating monster. They're also with Captain Levi, so, there's that."

"You know each other?" A boy asks, the one with the blond hair and bigger body.

"Yes." Eren grins, and points to Lyanne. "She's one of my sisters."

"What? Isn't Mikasa your only sister?"

"No, we got three more." Armin explains. "Lyanne, Lia and Blythe. They're all in the Survey Corps."

"So, that answers what you're all going to join." The girl with the freckles replies.

Armin nods.

"Wait, aren't you too young to be a Ranking Officer if you're Eren's sister?" Jean asks. His face is hilariously in disbelief.

"How old are you?" She asks back.

Jean blinks. "Fifteen."

"I'm seven years older than you are. And that means seven more years of experience."

The bald one suddenly answers, "Twenty one?"

"You idiot, it's twenty two." Lyanne chuckles. When she calms down, she finds the drooling girl eyeing her sandwich. She throws it at her. "You're cute so I'm giving you mine. And no, Eren, Armin and Mikasa, I don't need your sandwiches. Eat them." She waves them away. "Go back to your original positions."

They get back to their work but none of them look like they particularly like it.

"My superior is way better at speeches than I am so I won't do that. Just ask me what you want to know and I'll try my best to answer."

The bald one raises his hand.

This is going to be something dumb, is it? "What is it?"

"What does a Ranking Officer do?"

Everybody groans.

As much as she loves her kids, this is still going to be a long day.

#

" - Lythe - Blythe! Hey, Blythe!"

Blythe blinks back when she hears a voice calling her. It's Hanji. "Yes, I'm sorry, Squad Leader."

"What?" Hanji waves her hand to motion it's nothing. "It's fine. I'm more worried about you. You've been staring at nothing for a while. Moblit wonders if you're sick."

"No. It's…" Blythe is staring at the sunlight that's seen in one the house they checked. And she didn't stop until Hanji called for them. "It's nothing." She tries to smile. One in a million, she thinks as she remembers how Carla died, the entire wall destroyed, thousands of people dead in one day. She knows what she told Lia to comfort her but it's all bullshit. "Nevermind that, Squad Leader. We should probably check some other location."

Hanji squeezes her shoulder. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yes. I'm fine." She lies.

Hanji doesn't look convinced but decides to let it go. "Yeah, we should. But in general this place is actually good for its purpose, no?"

Blythe nods as she follows Hanji around.

One in a million , she wishes, prays and hopes. Let this not be that one.

#

The what does the Survey Corps do questions becomes how did Lyanne, Eren, Armin and Mikasa know each other? And Lyanne doesn't expect any less from these kids. Because of course, they'd like to know. That information is like a shiny toy.

"How did Jaeger get so many sisters? What were your parents doing?" Jean asks Eren, with an eyebrow raised.

"We're not related, idiot!" Eren snaps.

Lyanne gives Jean a look. "You're way too interested in what Eren's parents were doing." Jean stutters an answer but Lyanne is not interested. She's fixing the bun of her hair. Her hair is getting too long now, already way past her shoulder. She could probably braid it.

"Your hair is long." Mikasa comments.

"Your hair is beautiful." Sasha adds and it's a miracle that Lyanne could understand her, considering her mouth is full of food and everything she says is muffled.

"Thank you. I was thinking of cutting it but -"

Boom!

An explosion.

A moment of nothing but silence happens.

And then, Behind me, she thinks. Behind me.

The chances of that happening again is one in a million, Lyanne told her sisters. She turns her head a bit and sees -

Stupid, she thinks. And Blythe can fucking afford to be wrong sometimes.

Suddenly, the titan emits a wind so powerful, it blasts not only all of them but also the equipment they have down the wall. Everything is fucking destroyed.

Lyanne activates her gear so she won't fall down and she can hear the trainees doing the same. However, one of the boys, with brunette hair slips, and the one with the bald haircut exclaims, "SAMUEL!" She's way too far to save him but is about to try anyway when, thankfully, Sasha starts running towards Samuel and catches him by using her gear to hook it in his lower calf.

Lyanne turns her head towards the gate and sees the gate destroyed. Titans… titans are gonna enter that gate… She looks back at the titan looking over like it's on some vacation and enjoying the view and remembers Blythe and Armin's stories. She never saw it… but she heard it enough to know what exactly this titan is.

I have to do something, she thinks. But before she can do anything, Eren yells, "READY THE ARTILLERY! FOUR GROUPS! PREPARE FOR BATTLE! THE ENEMY IS RIGHT IN FRONT OF US!"

"This fucking dumbass!" She hisses.

Eren already flies towards on top of the wall where the fucking titan is. Lyanne activates her gear and she almost welcomes the sound and hurriedly follows Eren but when she gets there, there's nothing but steam. Lyanne sees Eren, not like she can see it clearly, trying to look at the titan on the other side of the wall.

"EREN!"

The steam clears but the titan is nowhere in sight. She grits her teeth. "Come back here." She says as she stares Eren down. Her blood is cold and her patience is thin. "Get back here, Jaeger. "

Eren gives her a look of confusion and flinches when he hears how she says his last name. He slowly comes back up and opens his mouth.

"Who do you think you are, giving me an order?" She asks, calm. Collected. Too calm, in fact. "I am your superior. You don't do anything without my permission. And you did exactly that."

"But I-"

"No buts!" She snaps. "This is the last time you will do such a thing to me, trainee." She gives Eren a look. "Understand?"

Eren pauses, but answers. "Yes."

Lyanne turns around and looks at the gate again. "We're going to have another titan incursion if that hole isn't plugged." She breathes in, and breathes out. No time to think it over. "Everyone, come here!"

Everyone who's still hanging in the wall comes on top except for Sasha who decides to bring down Samuel first

"I am here under Commander Erwin Smith's command and I am his substitute during his absence. You will listen to my orders. Do you hear me?" Lyanne doesn't wait for their answer. "Just like in your training, each squad will take a different street. Your duties are support, communications, titan-killings and anything else that's needed. We will carry this duty until all people are safely evacuated. I'm sure Garrison is already dealing with their strategy with the Colossal Titan's appearance. Make contact with them and tell them my orders."

They're all still looking at her.

"What else do you want?" She growls. "Go!"

All of them launch away except for Eren, who still looks like he wants to say something.

"Let's talk after this is done." Lyanne purses her lips. "Jaeger."

Eren jerks away. He turns around and launches himself without looking back.

Raising a teenager… Lyanne sighs. She doesn't have time to think about that. She descends down the wall and starts running towards the village. She can feel the vibration of the ground.

They're coming.

She clicks her tongue and turns around. She has to kill a few of them here, and try to help to evacuate people after that. No time to lose. She activates her gear and kills one titan, and two, and three and - until she realizes it's a useless endeavor now.

She lands on one of the roofs and sees the titans keep coming.

It was horrible, Armin told her, one night, when he couldn't sleep. They kept coming. If Blythe hadn't been there…

She grits her teeth, turns around and runs away. She has to evacuate people now. Killing titans is the least of her concerns. She finds a few people hiding in their house, she kicks their door open and yells at them to leave. She does this a few times, she even carries an old lady when she realizes the path for evacuation is closed and people are stranded outside. She puts the old lady down. Fucking damn it.

"What's going on here?" She asks. The hole to be used to evacuate is hidden by a huge wood and people guarding it.

"Who are you?" A fat man, that makes her think of an… orange object, asks her. He looks like something Lyanne would avoid if she wasn't capable of protecting herself.

"Lyanne, the Ranking Officer of the Survey Corps. Please move back and let the citizens in."

"I don't want to."

Lyanne raises an eyebrow. "There are titans coming in, we can't afford -"

"Your job is to make sure those titans are killed! Do your job!"

"My duty is to make sure people are evacuated safely as well." She grips her sword and tilts it slightly. "And I will carry it out, any means necessary."

The fat man laughs. "Your superior will hear about how you killed the boss of this town."

"That is, if you're still alive. Dead men tell no tales, as they say."

The rest of the men with the fat man walks backward, which looks out of fear.

"Don't make me ask twice: let the citizens in. "

"Boss…"

The fat man smirks and orders, "Do what she says."

"Boss -"

"Do it."

Lyanne nods at them, and is about to leave when a girl, not older than ten, gives her a look of gratitude and the old lady who she brought thank her.

She puts her right fist on her chest and the left one behind her.

Salute.

She runs, activates her gear and lands on the roof when she sees a bunch of people talking in there. She needs to know if there are other orders from Garrison.

The need dies down when she sees who it is, though.

"Oh, Ranking Officer Lyanne. It's nice to see you."

Fucking Ian, she thinks angrily. "It's not nice considering our situation."

"Of course." Ian smiles. "The trainee relied on your orders. I'm impressed."

"I don't have time to chat, Squad Leader Ian. I need to know if the Garrison has plans."

"No. We're actually utilizing the orders you gave the trainees. And that's how it's going to be until the end."

She nods. "Thank you." She knows Ian is about to say something but if she ever stays to hear it, she might just punch him.

She continues helping people evacuate, giving them to the team in-charge of the street. Until one of the teams she's giving the people to is Jean.

"You, you're in charge here?" She asks.

Jean blinks. "Yes. We were given this place when we met Garrison -"

"If you see your other trainees, tell them this: evacuate as many people as you can, less titan-killing and when you already feel like you've done enough, evacuate yourself." Lyanne orders, remembering how Blythe would probably do what she can to save people but Lia would want to make sure the three of them will survive. "I'll handle the titans myself."

This is the right way… she thinks.

"But - you -" Jean stutters.

"What I do is none of your business, trainee." She snaps. She has no plans on dying, anyway. She just needs to make sure she can save as much as she can. "All you have to do is relay these orders to your comrades. Do you understand?"

"Yes, Ranking Officer!" He salutes.

"You're a good man, Jean." She tells him. "But sometimes, there are choices you have to make."

In the distance, Lyanne hears a voice screaming. The same voice Lyanne knows by heart.

"Eren…" she breathes. She turns back to Jean and says, firmly. "Didn't you hear what I just said ? Go!"

She doesn't know if Jean actually leaves because she leaves first. Eren, Eren, Eren, Eren -

Eren screaming can mean a lot of things. Maybe, he sees someone being eaten, maybe he's just angry, maybe, he's the one actually getting eaten.

She feels her spine, cold.

If she lets Eren die, what will Blythe say? Or do ? She has never been the same when Carla died. If Eren follows… she shivers at the thought.

When she reaches the scene, there's no time for her to think at all because she sees an idiot, launching themselves full speed ahead. It isn't until she reaches closer to find out the idiot is Eren. Before her mind can work, her body makes the decision for her. She launches herself towards Eren and pushes him out of the way.

SAVE EREN!

It isn't until the very last second that she realizes she moved away too late because her left leg has been caught by the titan's mouth. She feels all of her blood rushes through her head as she crashes to the roof, head first, and groans out in pain.

Lyanne hasn't recovered from her initial fall when she sees another scene. Armin, being picked up by a titan.

Her eyes shake, breathing heavy and like a joke, her consciousness blur and she sees -

' - OF THE WORLD IS COVERED BY THE WATER CALLED S- SAVE ARMIN! SAVE ARMIN!'

And that's how she finds herself, in the mouth of a titan and clutching Armin's arm as she tries to pull him out. She screams, not quite sure if it's out of pain, or out of determination to save Armin. When she successfully pulls him out, she throws him away. She sees Eren, having caught up with them, catching Armin, as she tries her best to stop the titan from closing its mouth but she's already tired, scared and one less leg to fight. She slowly slips from the tongue, holds her hand out and sees Eren, trying to reach out to her hand but it's too late. Again . It's always too late.

She stares at Eren, and remembers the last thing she told him.

I'm sorry, Eren, she watches as the titan closes its mouth. I can't talk to you anymore.

And darkness swallows her whole.

Notes:

edited: april first

Chapter 7: The World Through Their Eyes

Notes:

okay isayama i'll forgive you this one time this has been so fun to write (or im probably sleep deprived)

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Jean's hands are shaking as he watches a titan swallow Eren's sister… no, she's Lyanne, Ranking Officer who has never shown any of them fear and did her best to lead a bunch of rag rat trainees.

Sometimes, she told him. There are choices you have to make.

His body reacts before his mind decides. He launches himself as fast as he can next to Eren and Armin, surprising himself to find everyone there. Jean grabs a hold of Armin whilst Reiner grunts, taking Eren with him.

"Wha-" someone asks.

"No time! Let's go!" Jean snaps, tightening his hold on Armin. There are more titans than any of them can handle. He launches himself as he hears everybody doing the same.

They land on a safer roof. Jean gently puts Armin down, who is looking like he wants nothing more to do than disappear. He could imagine, it was only a few hours ago where Armin proudly said he had three sisters. Everybody lands a few seconds after them and Eren doesn't look any better than Armin, he looks even worse.

Jean's mind races. "Right. I -" You're a good man. He shakes his head. He has to get it together. "Ranking Officer Lyanne relayed her orders: evacuate as many as we can, less-titan killing and if we feel like we've done enough, we will evacuate ourselves."

"Jean…" Connie's eyes are wide.. "What happened?"

#

Armin's body has no strength left. He assumes a normal body should shake, flinch, or jerk but his body isn't moving... at all.

Lyanne is holding out her hand to them... and for a few seconds the tragedy could spare, all Armin sees is the fear in Lyanne's eyes.

She died afraid.

Armin isn't blinking, not until he hears Mikasa approaching. He couldn't even pinpoint when she arrived whilst she's shaking his shoulder, gently, calling his name.

"- min, what happened? Eren isn't talking. Armin, hey, Armin -"

Armin's eyes feel like they are bleeding but he knows the wet, warm liquid flowing down from his eyes to his cheeks are tears. With gritted teeth, he tries to say, "In the 104th Training Corps… Squad 34 - Thomas Wagner, Nac Tias, Mylius Zeramuski, Mina Carolina… These four carried out their duties and died bravely in battle… the only survivor is Eren Jaeger… he and Armin Arlert were saved by -" by this point, not even Armin can understand what he's saying. "- Ranking Officer Lyanne of the Survey Corps who -" his voice cracking "- died bravely against a titan."

Armin watches as Mikasa's eyes widen. "I'm sorry, Mikasa… she died saving me… I couldn't do anything…"

"I'll kill them." A voice sneers. "I'll kill all of them." It's Eren. His hands bawl into a fist while his eyes fill with rage. The last time Armin saw him like this was when his mother died and Blythe was taken by Lia, on an ODM gear, and he couldn't find them.

"This is the exact reason why she even died!" Jean angrily exclaims. "I watched it happen, Jaeger, she died because of this suicidal attitude of yours. If you're going to be like this again, whose ass will have to be sacrificed to save yours?"

Eren glares at Jean, stands up and grabs Jean's uniform. "How dare you." He hisses.

"Enough." Mikasa says, oddly calm. "We don't have time for fighting. Did she order anything else?"

Jean pushes Eren away and fixes his clothes. "She said to evacuate as many as we can, to not engage against titans and evacuate ourselves if we think we've done enough."

"With that kind of plan, it's like she was planning to fight the titans herself." Mikasa points out.

Armin flinches, remembering Lyanne's last moments - hand reaching out, eyes cold with fear, before a titan swallows her whole.

"- kasa, are you insane? You mean you're going to be the one to kill the titans by yourself? That's impossible!"

Mikasa turns around, calmly and says, "My sister left her last orders. I have to execute them. If I don't, I don't think I can face Lia and Blythe when they ask. If I don't fight, I'll die. I have to fight, to live."

Mikasa activates her gear and launches herself away from them. One of the trainees calls out for her but Armin is not sure who it is. He looks at everyone present, and they all look afraid, haunted.

He looks back at Jean last, who grits his teeth.

"Damn it…" Jean breathes in and exclaims, "HEY! We were given orders! We can't run away now! If we do, we will be COWARDS!"

Reiner smiles awkwardly. "Who would have thought?"

Eren stands up and walks towards him. "Can you stand up?" He asks.

Armin remembers Lyanne. She died because of me, he thinks. Mikasa is right. He has to execute Lyanne's last orders, so he has something to say when Lia and Blythe ask.

He nods at Eren, stands up and looks at Jean who starts activating his gear.

Jean says, "We'll follow Mikasa until we reach the headquarters. " He has a look on his face like he's remembering something so awful or something worthy of pain. "We have to do it before we run out of gas."

It's now a race against time.

#

There are only a few moments in Mikasa's life that she has known fear: when her parents were killed right in front of her, when Carla died, and now, when Lyanne is gone.

Lyanne has been a constant in her life, like Eren and Armin were - Mikasa had always something to look forward to for when she graduated. Three of her other siblings were waiting for them and once the three of them could join the Survey Corps, then all of them would be together. She always thought life would get better when that happened. It would still be filled with titans and constant worry if tomorrow will be the time someone will die but it was an abstract, a what- if . It wasn't supposed to happen, at all.

Mikasa jumps, grits her teeth and swings her sword.

If it weren't for you, she angrily thinks as she slices the titan's neck and mercilessly cuts what she can reach. If it weren't for you!

She continues attacking the titans in front of her. She doesn't care if she looks like a crazy woman as she kills every titan that comes against her way. They killed her sister, they just have to pay until she's no longer grieving.

Mikasa suddenly runs out of gas and she feels herself slipping down until she falls and lands on a fabric cover of a vegetable stand.

What should I do, Lyanne? She thinks as she cries and bites her lip so hard, it bleeds. What should I do now?

She doesn't stand up or even look at the titans coming in. They're about to get her but she has no strength left to stand up. She closes her eyes and -

It was the day before Lyanne, Blythe and Lia entered the Training Corps. Mikasa couldn't sleep, because she knows tomorrow, the three of them will leave. Lyanne sees her, outside, knitting.

"Hey, Mika. Can't sleep?"

Mikasa looks up and shakes her head.

"Yeah. Guess so. It's just one of those days, you know?"

Mikasa puts down the cloth she's knitting. "Do you really have to go?" She asks. "I…" she swallows the lump in her throat. "I don't want to lose you."

"Oh, Mikasa…" Lyanne grabs her by the shoulder and hugs her. "Mikasa, remember this. To live is to fight. We have to fight, to live."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Lyanne laughs and the vibration of her stomach and chest make Mikasa feel ticklish. "You'll understand it when you grow a little older, Mikasa."

Mikasa opens her eyes and stands up. To live is to fight. She grips her swords, glares at the two titans eyeing her up. We have to fight, to live.

"I can't give up now." She says, firmly. Determined. Blythe and Lia are still out there. Armin and Eren. She has to fight, fight, fight until she has nothing left.

"MIKASAAAAAA!" Eren yells as he swings to one of the titans. Eren can only handle one titan, she has to deal with the other one. That's fine, she -

Before she can finish that thought, another titan comes in but instead of attacking Mikasa or Eren, it punches the titan that's about to hurt Mikasa.

"...what…" what's going on? Why is a titan attacking another titan?

She feels an arm wrap around her and when she looks, it's Armin.

"Are you okay, Mikasa?"

"Yes." She answers. She looks back at the titan that successfully kills the titan and attacks another one that comes.

The titan is fighting like it knows what it's doing. Like… "The fury of the human race incarnate…" she murmurs as the titan grabs a hold of another titan's head and pulls it upward.

"It's fighting like it has something to protect." Armin says.

Eren comes down next to them. "A titan… fighting another titan…"

"We don't have time! We can think of what that means later! We need to go now!" Armin exclaims.

"Wait! " Mikasa grabs both of them and stares at the titan. "That…"

The titan doesn't stop attacking other titans. Armin is right, it's fighting like it has something to protect.

#

Eren kicks the window as he enters inside with Armin on his arm while Mikasa comes flying next after him.

"Your plan worked, Armin." He tells him, before gently putting him down. It was an insane plan but it worked.

"Did you see what was out there? A titan was attacking another titan!" Connie exclaims.

"Yes, that's what we wanted to tell you about." Armin replies. "That titan protected Mikasa."

Eren grips his swords and says, "We should help that titan." He doesn't know what it is but he's compelled to make sure that titan survives. He needs to make sure it's safe.

"Are you insane?" Jean asks, angrily. "It helped Mikasa once and suddenly we owe it its life!"

"No, I agree." Reiner adds. "If that titan gets eaten, it will be over before we understand anything. For now, let's kill all the titans sticking to it… let's make sure it's kept alive for longer."

"We're just about to escape this deathtrap! We barely even survived!" Jean snaps.

"But what about the possibility of this titan could become an ally?" Annie counters. "Don't you think it will be a more powerful weapon than any cannon?"

"I don't care what you all decide." Eren butts in. He gives them all a look. "I'm helping."

"That's the exact attitude why Lyanne died."

Eren grabs Jean's clothes and punches him so hard, he'd be surprised if it doesn't break his jaw. "Don't call her by her name." He sneers. "You don't know her. You don't know Lyanne."

She was my sister, Eren wants to tell him. She deserved freedom more than any of you! But he doesn't. They don't deserve to know her like that. None of them.

"Ah, guys…" Connie says. "How about looking at this first?"

They look at what Connie is pointing at and it's the titan biting a titan's neck while two titans are trying to its arms. One of the titan succeeded and took off its arm. But the titan keeps fighting, it swings its mouth and throws the titan away. Two more other titans grab the body of the titan that protected Mikasa, biting its body, and it screams in rage, while trying to get free. It manages to get free, bites one of the titan's head and uses it to throw to the titan and both of the titans come crashing to a building.

"So much for helping…" Jean murmurs.

The titan manages to kill all of the other titans. It falls down to its knees before it completely crashes down to the ground, face first.

"Seen enough?" Jean hisses. "Let's hightail it. There's no way that monster is on our side. A titan is just a titan."

Eren is about to counter Jean when the body of the titan that protected Mikasa releases a smoke, and it looks like the skin is melting .

"Hey…?!" Jean exclaims.

A body.

A human body.

It's Lyanne's body, to be exact.

Her eyes are close, mouth slightly open. She looks peaceful, like one of those nights when Eren wakes up and sees her beside him, breathing softly and mornings when Eren wakes up first and afternoon naps she took when they're all living together.

Lyanne! His mind supplies. He jumps down the building and runs towards her. Lyanne!

He hugs Lyanne's body, tears in his eyes when he hears Lyanne's heart beating. He pulls her off the titan's body, carries her back towards where the others are. He gently puts her down and touches her face. He hugs her again, and he slowly rocks her body as he sobs.

#

Armin's eyes are deceiving him, it has to be. This person Eren is hugging couldn't be Lyanne. He has seen her get eaten, her leg was even severed but here she is, looking so peaceful, so whole while Eren rocks her body, hugs her so tight, he's afraid she might snap.

He slowly kneels down and grabs one of Lyanne's hand and holds it, remembering how she holds up her hand to him before the titan eats her. The fear in her face. The spaces between her fingers surprisingly fit Armin, as well. He can't help the tears that fall down his cheeks.

"What happened to you?" He whispers.

But no answer came.

#

Mikasa stares at Lyanne's face, like she's seeing it for the first time. Or the last , if the world doesn't stop taking people that's important to her. She brushes the hair on her face, cups it, and Mikasa pushes her forehead against Lyanne.

She has no words to say.

It's enough to know Lyanne is still here.

#

Jean's hands shook as he realized what happened. Lyanne… Lyanne is the titan that protected Mikasa? And that kept protecting them? And Jean wanted to leave her to die. His hand twitches as he watches Mikasa touch Lyanne's face. He wants to be there to feel Lyanne alive, too, wants to shake her, to ask her what happened; he was there for the last few moments of her life, he feels like that deserves him a pass to feel her.

But he doesn't.

All he does is stare at Eren, Mikasa and Armin as he hears them crying.

#

"If we do end up using this, I want this space to be my titan playground." Hanji announces as they point to an… well, an empty space.

"Like the titans you killed a couple of minutes ago." Blythe asks.

"Now, now, that titan was about to attack you, my favorite girl. Of course, I have to protect you!"

"Wow," Blythe deadpans. "What a hero."

"Your hero. I'm yours."

"I thought your only interest is titans. So, I can't believe you're mine in any way."

"Somebody just fucking tell them!" Blythe hears Moblit hisses somewhere.

"That was already so obvious. Pointing it out is just going to make us stupid."

"I can hear you!" Hanji exclaims.

"Yes, that's why we aren't whispering it, Squad Leader." Rashad replies.

"You guys are lucky that you're not witnessing this every minute of the day." Moblit angrily murmurs.

"I don't know," Nifa hums. "It kind of looks cute."

"For the first minute, it was. " Moblit whines.

"Enough whining, Moblit." Blythe rolls her eyes. "Have we finished fixing the tents?"

Keiji replies, "We've done at least three. We might finish faster if people stop flirting and gossiping."

"Who's flirting?" Blythe asks, confused.

Everybody goes quiet.

"Yeah, I see what Squad Leader is dealing with." Keiji walks away before Blythe asks what he's talking about.

"I'm the one dealing with Squad Leader." Blythe pouts.

"Yes, deal with me." Hanji orders. "I beg you."

"I am." Blythe insists.

Nifa chokes out a laugh. "I think Squad Leader means a different kind of dealing, Blythe."

"How many meanings of the word deal are there?" Blythe frowns.

Moblit slaps his face. "Now, you see , this is what I have to endure. Everyday."

"Don't be so dramatic." Rashad grunts. "You're not gonna die of frustration. Squad Leader Hanji, on the other hand…"

Hanji rolls their eyes. "Don't listen to them, my lovely girl. Are you hungry? Tired? Thirsty?"

"The irony of them asking that…" Nifa mutters before she finishes fixing the tent. "There." She stands up and looks around. "Where's Keiji?"

"Probably getting the supplies." Blythe answers. "We should probably help him."

"You're going?" Hanji grabs Blythe's arm and squeezes. "Don't you want to stay with me? Are you tired of me?"

Blythe chuckles. "You got all of that? By me saying we should help Keiji?"

"Yeah, well, what do I do if you leave me?"

Blythe rolls her eyes. "I like spending time with you, Hanji . It doesn't matter what you do, I'm not leaving you. I'm here to stay."

Hanji blinks at Blythe, and slowly backs away with a hand hiding their mouth. "Okay. Go." Their voice sounds strangled.

Everybody goes quiet. Again.

Nifa blinks then giggles. "Wow." She says. "Blythe's power is on another level."

"Somebody tell Keiji he doesn't know what Squad Leader Hanji is dealing with."

"Again! What do you guys mean by deal- Hanji, why is your face red?"

"It's not!"

Blythe grabs Hanji and stares at them. "Are you sure?" She puts her forehead against Hanji. "You're kind of warm."

"No, no, please, you're too close -"

"Han-"

Keiji comes running back with a worried look on his face.

"Oh, Keiji, why -"

"It's Commander Erwin. He said the titans -"

Blythe's eyes widen. No, her mind denies. Lyanne.

#

Gunther takes the supplies Lia is carrying and she pouts. He laughs at her. "You should try carrying something less heavy if you don't want us to take it from you."

"That is less heavy." She insists.

"Lia, when you were carrying it, you looked like you were about to take a shit." Oluo comments.

Petra slaps the back of his head. "What are you saying to a girl?" She looks at Lia. "Don't worry about it. They could carry all of the supplies. We should probably clean the tents before we set them up."

Eld nods. "Good idea. Somebody needs to be cleaning the tents. If Captain Levi sees even one speck of dust, titans be damned, he will kill us first."

Petra apologetically gives Lia a rag and together, they swipe and clean the tents. They're already halfway into finishing setting the tents up when Captain Levi comes back.

"Lia, come with me. We have to check the perimeter." He calls.

Lia gives Petra a look of what should I do? when Petra smiles and says, "It's okay. Oluo will be the one helping me."

"Me?" Oluo frowns. "When did I - alright, alright! Not the face, Petra, not the face! Bruises are harder to hide when it's on the face!"

Levi doesn't wait for her. Instead, he turns around and never spare a glance at her, not to even check if she's following him. She keeps her distance when Levi stops walking and glances at her.

"Are you going to continue walking like that?"

Lia blinks.

"Walk beside me. You're not a dog."

Lia walks as fast as she can beside Levi.

They don't talk, which is fine. Lia is enjoying the silence. It's comfortable. The wind and the breeze makes her feel like they're the only two people in the world.

The last thought is oddly calming.

"Your sisters…" Levi starts.

"Sir?"

"You're not related, are you? None of you look like each other."

"Oh," Lia blinks. "Oh, no, yes. Not blood-related, no. But we, uh-" realized we're all in the same predicament. "- grew up together. We're all orphans."

Levi is quiet for a second. Then, "Reminds me of some people."

"My sisters remind you of some people?"

"Yeah." Levi answers. He doesn't say it but it looks like it's the end of the conversation. He doesn't want to discuss it and it's not like Lia is going to keep pushing it.

Lia looks around when she stumbles out of nothing and Levi grabs a hold of her elbow. "Thank you, Sir!"

"Are you always this clumsy?" He deadpans but he doesn't let go of her elbow even when he already helps her up.

They keep walking in silence. It's all they do, that Lia actually forgets what they're walking for.

"Tell me about your sisters."

"Sir?"

He looks at her. "You got any other stories about yourself that don't include your sisters? If not, I'd like to hear them."

"Oh." She says. Why is Captain Levi being like this? "Well. I got three more relatives. They're trainees and about to graduate."

Levi raises an eyebrow. "Are they joining the Survey Corps?"

"Yes, Sir."

"So, they lack common sense, like you."

She pouts at him and mutters cutely. "Sir, I know that's an insult but I'm glad I joined. I met you here."

Levi snaps his head towards her and glares . "You - you - are -" he stutters.

"Sir?"

Levi sighs. Tightens his hold to her elbow and pulls her closer. "Don't say that again, idiot."

Lia blinks at her superior. Something is really wrong with him today. They spend the rest of the walk in silence. It isn't until they get back when the silence breaks.

There's a worrisome and suffocating atmosphere and it's only when Petra hugs her that it's clear.

Something happened to the Wall. To where Lyanne is.

Again.

"I need you to be calm, Lia, okay?" Petra says. " Lia-"

But Lia is no longer listening.

One in a million, huh? Apparently, one chance out of a million is all anybody needs.

Notes:

edited: april first

Chapter 8: Delusions of Strength

Notes:

sorry for the late upload even though i have no schedule lol isayama we're so-so this chapter

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

It's warm, Lyanne thinks as she floats in the stomach of a titan that swallowed her. This is something Blythe would enjoy knowing.

She tries to remember what Blythe looked like, the last time she saw her. She was smiling at her, then; worried, but she trusted Lyanne when she told her that the worst probably wouldn't happen. Lia was worried, too. She always worries.

And now, here is Lyanne, proving her sisters right about everything they were worried about.

She feels her body slowly slipping, and as the titan's stomach starts getting hotter, so is Lyanne's anger, flowing in her veins. She promised she'd protect Eren, Mikasa, and Armin. That's the entire point of why they joined the Survey Corps, and she's dying just like this?

"It's hot…" a voice says behind her. If she has strength, she'll turn around and look. "Mommy, it burns…"

She has to go back out there. She has to protect Eren, Armin and Mikasa - she can't fucking go down like this. Without her, those three have less chances of surviving this war.

She grits her teeth and tries to struggle, she kicks, she punches what she can punch but to no avail.

"I can't give up…" she whispers angrily, tears falling from her eyes. Lia. Blythe . "I need to protect them…" Eren, Armin, Mikasa…

Everything burns. She can't even feel the pain of the missing leg because everything just burns. Her skin, her bones, her organs - thsy're on fire, she feels like. And yet, she can't die right now. She has to get back out there and protect them, because it is her -

- responsibility.

She slips further down, and hisses a curse.

This is your responsibility.

"It is…" she closes her eyes. "...my responsibility…"

She holds up a hand before she completely drowns.

#

"Blythe, listen to me -"

"I am not listening." She snaps at Nifa. "I need to go back there now, where my sister is." She breathes heavily.

Commander Erwin received news that The Colossal Titan attacked and left a hole in the gate, Keiji had said. Ranking Officer Lyanne is currently the one leading everyone. But Garrison had requested us to come back.

"I understand you feel that way, Bly. And we are about to, okay? But I need you to stay calm."

Calm? Stay calm? The possibility of Lyanne dying in the battlefield without anyone by her side is enough to make her lose her fucking shit. She closes her eyes, hard, tries not to think of Carla, asking Blythe to kill her, and her breath becomes shallow.

"Blythe, hey, Blythe-"

She opens her eyes and everything is turning. She's crying, but she can't speak, can't breathe. She feels people around, their hands all over her, but the ground is shaking, and nothing feels real.

End it, Carla's mouth is bloody. End it. End it.

And Carla's face morphs into Lyanne.

End it, Lyanne says. End it.

"N-no-" she stutters.

No, she wants to say. Not again.

#

A huge hand comes out of the mouth of a titan as it slowly rips apart its mouth and body until another titan emerges. The titan opens its mouth and screams. It looks on the side, and sees another titan.

Protect…

The other titan attacks but the titan's hand is faster - it wraps its hand around the other's neck and squeezed until it explodes.

Protect…

It throws the other titan away and stares at it's dead body.

Protect… I have to protect…

Save…

Save Eren… Armin and… Mikasa….

"- my responsibility…"

"Lyanne."

Lyanne blinks back to reality and sees she's surrounded by people who look like they want to kill her. Eren and Mikasa are in front of her, she's guessing they're the only reason why these people didn't kill her yet.

She turns her head towards Armin and asks, sarcastically, "Die I die?"

Armin's eyes are wide and moist. He squeezes her shoulders and says, "Tell us everything you know, Lyanne, they'll understand."

"I don't think that's the case here." She gives another look at the soldiers. No. They're not here to talk. "Are they here for me?"

Armin snaps his mouth close.

"Look at her, glaring at us… she probably wants to devour us…" clearly, they want her to hear that.

She thinks she knows why they're after her, anyway. The leg that was severed when she saved Armin and Eren is there. She can feel it. She's whole. She grew a fucking leg, for fuck's sake. She generates another leg, like how titans do. And the soldiers are looking at her like they're afraid of what Lyanne can do.

"Ranking Officer Lyanne! It seems you've regained consciousness!" A man, that Lyanne can probably remember if she tries, exclaims. "Your present behavior constitutes treason against the human race! Your lives depend on how you answer my question!"

Lyanne raises an eyebrow.

"If you attempt to deceive me or make any move, I will not hesitate to blow you apart."

She turns her a bit and sees another cannon aim at her on top of the wall. Because, of course, it is.

"I'll ask you plainly. What are you, a human or a titan?"

But they're already looking at her, like they already knew the answer.

"Whatever answer I give you, you're still gonna see me as a titan." She stares at the man, who she remembers is one of the people who couldn't believe she's a woman with a position. "Do I have to waste my breath?"

"Don't fuck with me!" He screams. "Play dumb again and I will kill you, you monster! Everyone saw it! When you came out of the titan's carcass! Right now, Wall Rose is being breached by an unknown Titan like you! Even if you are Commander Erwin Smith's subordinate, we will not hesitate to eliminate you! I know I'm right! Humanity is on the brink of extinction! We cannot fail, just like years ago!"

"I know that." Lyanne replies, calmly. "That's why I gave orders that you used. I led the trainees. But apparently, those aren't enough to show my humanity."

"She's clearly defiant." Rico says besides the man. "And I doubt we'll get any information out of them, Sir. They're a waste of our time."

"It'll be easy to kill her now!" One of the soldiers exclaims. "She's still in human form!"

"You're acting like we are going to let you hurt her." Eren hisses, fixes his posture and points his sword at Rico. "Let's see who'll die first."

"My specialty…" Mikasa says while her swords are dangling besides her. "...is slicing off meat. So, if anyone wants to experience being treated like one, please step right up."

Armin stands up and says, in panic. "What good will fighting even do? Where would we even go? They got us cornered!"

"I won't let Lyanne die." Mikasa replies. She aims her sword at the soldiers. "That's all the reason I need."

"Let's talk to them!" Armin reasons out. "When people are faced with the unknown, it's easy for fear to take hold…"

Lyanne can't even do anything. Her body feels heavy, and she doesn't even remember how she got here. She has no answers to any of their annoying questions. She doubts anything she'll say at this point will be enough for them to at least spare the kids.

She survived the titan but will die at the hands of humans?

"I'll ask you, one more time! What are you?!"

She clenches her fist. "At least spare the trainees!"

"I see…" he tells her. He raises his hand and says, "Don't take this personally."

Lyanne's eyes widen as she feels everything shifts. They're going to kill us! They're going to kill the kids!

It's Eren who moves first. "Come on, Lyanne, we'll escape over the wall!" He wraps his arms around her and is about to carry her but she pushes him away.

"What are you talking about?" She remembers Blythe… if anything happens to Eren… "Leave me here and go! I'm the one they want!"

"I'll tell you everything I know about the titans!" Armin begs. "So, please -"

Mikasa carries Lyanne by her shoulders. "We have to go now!"

"It's impossible!" Lyanne snaps as she struggles free. "They got us surrounded! Leave me here and try to run away from here!"

"Oh, no…" Mikasa breathes in, eyes wide. "Above us, too?"

It's too late. Everything is happening too fast for Lyanne to even comprehend what's going. Mikasa moves a bit that makes something slide out of Lyanne's shirt.

A key.

A key that she kept as a necklace.

It's the only proof that she has that something really happened to her on that day she has no memories of.

You said it guided you there, Lia had told her. Who was it?

Suddenly, something flashes in front of her eyes.

"Take this key and hide it from Eren. I promised him that I'll show him what's inside the basement. But it doesn't matter now." He breathes deeply. "But you must keep it. You must use it to go to the basement. You will use it to learn about the truth."

He puts the liquid of the small bottle in the needle and he never stops crying. "This will cause some memory loss. But the power that this will give you is enough to help you to retake Wall Maria."

"It will be a long, hard road but you must reach its end!" The man says as his hand which is holding her arm tightens. "It has to be you to end this nightmare."

Bite your hand.

"If you want to save Eren, Armin and Mikasa… this is the only way."

Lyanne pushes herself off Mikasa and bites the space between her index finger and thumb, enough to make it hurt, enough to make it bleed.

"You must learn how to control this power."

Lyanne feels her bones and skin being ripped apart. It hurts so much that her body is starting to feel like it's not hers anymore. She can't handle this much pain so she closes her eyes and falls asleep.

#

Jean sees it: a cannon coming at Lyanne, Eren, Mikasa and Armin but a hand of a titan slaps it away and it explodes somewhere else.

He feels all of his hair on his body stands up and a chill down his spine makes him shiver.

In the place where Lyanne used to be is a titan.

#

"Lia!" Levi yells at her. "Halt!"

She grits her teeth but keeps going. She has no time to stop. Lyanne, her sister, is leading a war which means she's in the front lines. And Lia is not there to back her up. Why is this always happening to her? To them? Was it wrong for her to join the Survey Corps? Should she have asked them to just run away and live peacefully somewhere else?

All of a sudden, another horse overtakes her and it's Levi, putting his hand in motion for her to stop and Lia scrambles into doing so.

"What the fuck are you doing, Lia?" He asks, accusing eyes aimed at her. "I asked you to stop. You disobeyed a direct order."

"I'm sorry, Sir." She closes her eyes and breathes. "But my sister is-"

"- is a soldier, just like you and is the substitute of Erwin, at the moment. Right now, she's doing her best to win a war. If you come back injured, you'll be as good as useless. What help can you offer your sister when that happens?"

Lia lets out a breath, shakingly. She grips the rope attached to the horse and nods. "My apologies, Sir. I wasn't thinking clearly."

Levi clicks his tongue and goes back to his original position to start riding again. "As a punishment, you will make all of my tea this month."

"Yes, Sir." She tries to smile as she follows Levi.

It's almost an insult to Lyanne if Lia doesn't believe in her. If Humanity's Strongest Soldier does, then why can't she?

#

Lyanne pulls herself out of the titan's body, her titan body and she grunts as she frees herself. She looks all over to find Eren, Mikasa and Armin and finds them hiding under the titan's arm.

"Come out of there!" She exclaims as she grabs a hold of Eren's hand. "This thing is going to evaporate, just like the usual ones." Eren doesn't let go of her even after they follow her and hides behind the titan's body.

She looks at her hand that she bit. No scar or any indication that she was hurt. "Damn. If I knew I could turn into a titan, it probably would've helped the Survey Corps more."

Eren squeezes her hand.

She tries to smile at him and falters when she remembers. "You know, I'm sure they just wanted me. The only reason why you guys are in trouble is because you refused to leave." She watches as Eren, Armin and Mikasa squirm. She sighs as she adds, "You guys are in so much trouble if we survive this."

"I don't regret doing what I did." Mikasa says with no hesitation. "I'll do it again."

"I have so much to say about that," she stares at Mikasa. "But for now, let's make sure we survive this first. So, I got two plans."

"Two?" Armin asks.

"Yes. First plan, I'll transform into a titan and leave through the wall."

"Can you transform again?" Armin's eyes are wide.

"I feel like I can. But none of you are following me. If I leave you here, your chances of survival is high. They just want me, the only want your heads because you're all stubborn of staying with me."

"And you're going out alone?" It's Eren this time.

"No." She answers. "Blythe and Lia are outside. I'll take them with me. Between the three of us, I know we can come up with something." And we need to go to Wall Maria to go to that damn basement.

Fucking memories, she thinks angrily.

"If you're leaving with Lia and Blythe, I'll come with you." Eren insists.

"Eren-"

"I don't care." He squeezes Lyanne's hand, hard. "I promised I'll protect you."

She looks at Armin and Mikasa, who have the same determined expression as Eren on their faces. She sighs. "Well, that's the first plan. The second plan is to make Armin talk to them."

Armin snaps his head towards Lyanne. "What?"

"I have a feeling the first plan is a bust. Even if I do manage to escape, the possibility of Lia and Blythe coming with me without a fuss is low." Levi has Lia on a leash and Hanji is stronger than anybody thinks. And Erwin… that manipulative bastard. "And they'd probably do something to you, kids, if I just leave. I don't think they'll listen to me, who they want to kill." She locks her eyes at Armin. "I believe if it's you… they might just see the point across."

Armin's eyes shake.

"Armin," she says. "I know I'm asking for too much but I believe -"

Armin shakes his head and embraces her. "I won't let you down!" He lets go and starts running towards the soldiers.

"If it's Armin, we might have a chance!" Eren exclaims excitedly.

Lyanne just watches Armin doing the talk. She can't hear what exactly they're talking about but she can imagine none of them are listening to him. She lets go of Eren's hand and braces herself.

First plan, she decides. The rest can undo itself.

Armin salutes one last time and that's when she knows not even him can change their minds. She's about to bite her hand when someone stops the annoying man from killing them.

Commander Pixis.

#

"This is Ranking Officer Lyanne of the Survey Corps. The plan is to make her transform into a titan so she can plunge the hole. We will assist her. Your differences will just have to wait until we all survive a surge of titans entering the wall. Do you understand?"

Nobody answers Pixis but it seems like he doesn't care, anyway. He pulls her away from the crowd and puts her into a corner.

"I thought you might not like them looking at you like you're about to kill them."

Lyanne shrugs. "I'm used to all kinds of stares."

Pixis chuckles, awkwardly. He offers her alcohol that Lyanne shakes her head to. "I'm guessing. A lot of people didn't like a young woman like yourself as someone that could be in charge next to the Survey Corps."

Lyanne doesn't reply. She's not even sure if that's what Erwin is thinking when he decides to make her his assistant and Ranking Officer.

"But you never disappoint. You've always risen above the challenges they throw at you."

Lyanne raises an eyebrow at him. "What do you want?"

Pixis purses his lips. "Can you really plunge that hole?"

"It's not a matter of can, isn't it? I have no choice.

He drinks his alcohol like he's a thirsty man that finds an oasis. "That's right."

Lyanne feels Eren, Armin and Mikasa staring at her and Pixis. She says, "I have a favor, Commander Pixis."

"Yes?"

"Make sure nothing happens to my kids." She gives Pixis a look. "There's nothing much you can do for me. My fate lies on my superiors but the trainees…"

"You have my word." Pixis replies, firmly. "I'll do what I can."

Lyanne nods. That's good enough for her. "Let's do this."

The soldiers position themselves far away from Lyanne except for Eren, Armin and Mikasa who are standing next to her in the wall. Something about protecting Lyanne, if ever. She rolls her eyes but doesn't say a complaint. It's no use.

All she needs to do right now is to carry that boulder, plunge it to the hole and transform back into a human. What happens after that is still up in the air.

She breathes in, thinks of Lia and Blythe and the things she wants to tell them. She jumps outside the wall and bites her hand. After that, it's just a matter of instincts and hopefully, her instincts are right.

#

Lia's hands are shaking as she sees a titan carrying a boulder. She gives a look at Blythe who also looks like she doesn't believe what she's seeing.

"Is that titan about to fix the shitty hole?" Levi hisses at Erwin.

"It might be. Lyanne should know what's going on." Erwin replies.

She watches as the titan is about to attack - her eyes widen.

"Is that -" Blythe shakingly says.

"- Eren -" Lia gasps. "No!"

"Lia!" Levi snaps.

Lia turns her head towards Levi.

"Don't move." Levi tells her before he makes his horse run faster.

Lia has no choice but to watch her superior leaving her. As she does, she watches as the titan plunges the hole with a boulder and how it slowly collapses to the ground. When she reaches the titan, she's shocked to know who it is.

Lyanne.

With Eren, Mikasa and Armin around her.

"Lia's sister and you, brats…" Levi trails off. "What the fuck is going on here?"

#

It's been two days and Jean hasn't gotten any news about Lyanne - and by extension, Eren, Mikasa and Armin - after she successfully sealed the wall. Nobody tells them anything and it's like an unwritten rule to not discuss whatever happened that day. He's about to do something drastic to find even a tiny bit of information when the Garrison authorities gave them an order to help the medical team to find dead bodies, give them identities and to get rid of the bodies to lessen the chances of a pandemic.

"I can hear you thinking, trainee." The doctor he's with says. "I don't know why you're worried about her. But you have a job to do." She refers to Lyanne like she's a curse.

Jean stares at the doctor and feels a sudden urge to be angry. It's fast, the hot liquid flowing in his veins like blood and it boils. "She was the one who led immature trainees and gave orders that even the Garrison and Military Police used. And they're still using her until now." A pause. "At least have respect for her. Her position is still above yours."

The doctor glares but says nothing against him. They walk around, finding people with missing limbs and headless bodies until they see someone with missing half.

It's Marco. And he's missing half of his body. Jean can't even recognise him at first if it isn't for his uniform. That's right. He hasn't seen Marco since that day.

"You know him?" The doctor asks.

"Y-yes. He's a trainee like me and -"

"I don't need to know his life story." The doctor snaps. "Most of these dead bodies have no head which makes it harder for us to identify them. Give me his general data."

Jean stares at Marco. "Marco Bodt of Trainee Corps 104."

"Good." The doctor says as he writes. "Okay. We need to finish the rest of this."

Jean can't leave. His body is frozen.

He doesn't know how he finishes his job. All he remembers is they pile all of the dead bodies, and somebody lights it on fire and Jean wonders how can he recognize Marco this way? They're all dead.

He remembers how Marco teld him that Jean is a natural born leader, because of his humanity . Because he understands. And then remembers Lyanne's last words to him.

You're a good man . She said. But sometimes, there are choices you have to make.

He turns his head to the other trainees. The fire makes their faces blurry. Or so he says, but it feels like it's just his tears. "You guys already decided what branch of Military you're joining?"

Against his own desires, he decides, "I'll join the Survey Corps."

#

From what Jean has heard, it's already the time the Survey Corps will recruit them. He doesn't feel like he's inside his own body. He notices Eren, Armin and Mikasa joining them and casually slipping into position. After a few moments later, the Survey Corps comes with Lyanne in a hood. She's with the other soldiers, in the corner, like they're trying to protect her from them.

Jean's eyes widen as he stares at her. She looks exactly the same. He breathes a sigh of relief and feels again the pang of fear he felt when he thought she died.

She could have been just like Marco; unrecognizable, dead, and gone, gone, gone .

"- if you really got what it takes to sacrifice yourself for mankind." Commander Erwin finishes his speech. "We hope you make the right decision."

Jean grits his teeth and clenches his fist. He watches as the other trainees leave, one by one. Please, he tells himself. Is this what you really want ?

He looks up to find Lyanne looking at all of them, she doesn't look like how she was when he first met her.

Where's your smile? Jean wants to ask. Did they take away that, too?

Jean stays rooted in his spot. For Marco . For Lyanne.

He has no other choice.

"I see…" Erwin says. "Will you die… if you're told to?"

"I DON'T WANT TO DIE, SIR!"

Erwin smiles softly. "Of course. Then, I welcome you in the Scouting Legion! I salute your bravery! Dedicate your life to the cause!"

Everyone, with Jean in the middle of all of it, yells, "YES, SIR!"

Notes:

edited: april first

Chapter 9: Special Operation Squad

Chapter Text

Lyanne glares at Levi who doesn't give her a spare glance. She hates this midget. If only she'd be allowed, she would turn into a titan and crush him with her hands.

The carriage rocks a bit but her eyes never leave Levi.

Levi turns his head and looks at her, with his deadpan ugly eyes. "What are you looking at?"

"I hate you." She says.

He looks away. "I'm sure Erwin has told you."

Told her? Yeah, Erwin fucking told her. But that's all he did. He never explained anything. Like a manipulative dumbass he is. "Doesn't mean I don't hate him. You're just the one here with me." She hisses. "You used my sister."

"For a cause."

"You hurt her."

Levi snaps his head towards her. "For you. Remember this, Lyanne, if it wasn't for your sister, and Erwin's orders, I wouldn't have been bothered to save your ass in the court. Think about that."

Lyanne and Levi just stare at each other and the only thing that's breaking the silence is the carriage moving.

It's Lyanne who speaks first. "I still don't like you."

"You're technically my subordinate." He replies. "I don't need you to like me."

#

Lyanne is tied up in the middle of the courtroom and everyone is looking at her like there's a spectacle worthy of this much attention.

Maybe, there is.

She is a human that can turn into a titan.

Nothing is much more worthy of attention than that.

She looks around and sees the people she expected to be here. The leader of the Military Brigade, Erwin and Levi, as they should, and with his sisters as well, and… Commander Pixis… with Eren, Armin and Mikasa.

Why are they here?

And then all of her questions die down when she sees the leader of all the Military branches… Darius Zackly.

He sits across her and gives her a look. "Ranking Officer Lyanne of the Survey Corps."

She answers, "Yes, Sir."

"The last time I saw you was with Commander Erwin."

"Yes, Sir."

He hums and takes a piece of paper. "I have the authority over your life. You do know that?"

"Yes…" a pause. She tries not to think of what that entails. "Yes, Sir. I'm aware."

"Now, we will need to discuss your case where there are too many conflicting, passionate arguments. Some of it calls you demons, some of it calls you the hope of the human race. We're here to discuss how to move you forward. The decision will be between the Military Brigade and the Survey Corps." He pauses and glances at Lyanne. "We will hear from the Military Brigade first."

Lyanne doesn't reply. They don't give her an opportunity to, anyway.

"I am the Chief Nile Dok of…"

She tunes whatever the fuck he says next. Erwin told her that she doesn't need to do or say anything unless it was directed at her.

She doesn't listen to them again until someone from the church says something.

What's his name again?

Lyanne really needs to remember faces and names.

"Enough, Minister Nick." Darius says. "Now, let's hear from the Survey Corps."

"I am Commander Erwin -"

Lyanne closes her eyes and tries not to show she's extremely tired. Tired of all these things. She just wants to be with Lia and Blythe again. The only time she heard from them was from Erwin and Levi, who will only talk in syllables. And this is the only time she sees them after she was put in a dungeon.

She only opens her eyes again when she hears a commotion. Between Levi and some man, yelling at each other. Well, the other man is yelling. Levi looks like he has something else better to do.

"- yanne, I have a question for you."

Lyanne looks up at Darius. "Yes, Sir."

"As you are already a member of the Survey Corps, the vision they have for you is already in line for what you have in mind, I take it. You also want to use your titan's strength for the benefit of the human race?"

"Yes, Sir." She answers.

"Is that so? According to the report, when you became a titan, you almost attacked Eren Jaeger and by extension, Armin Arlert and Mikasa Ackerman."

She doesn't remember that. She gazes at the three kids and Eren looks extremely mad. She sighs.

"Where's Eren Jaeger?"

"That's me, Sir." Eren says. Calmly. She hopes the calm sticks.

"So, you're Eren Jaeger. Is it true that Lyanne attacked you?"

Eren looks like he wants nothing but to lie. But he locks his eyes at Lyanne, and Lyanne tries to convey to just say the truth. "Yes, Sir… but… she also saved us two times." He turns his eyes towards Darius. "When a cannon was about to hit us and when Mikasa was about to be eaten. Both of those situations she's in titan form."

"How are we going to take that seriously?" Nile Dok asks, suddenly. "Eren Jaeger, Armin Arlert and Mikasa Ackerman lived with Lyanne and her sisters, correct? In this report, it said one of her sisters, Lia, stole a 3d Maneuver Gear from a Military Police and left him to die. If your guardian can do that, how can we believe anything you say?"

"Oh?" Levi raises an eyebrow. "You mean her?" He suddenly grabs Lia and puts both of her hands at her back. He has a knife pointed at her neck, and Lia's skin… it's bleeding.

Lyanne starts to move but Lia looks at her, eyes wide, and shakes her head. She grits her teeth and does as she's told.

But Eren and Mikasa act differently than Lyanne, they're trying to attack Levi but Armin holds them back.

"I have Lia on my squad from as far as I can remember. The reason why she's on my team is because of the kids she saved that day. She has no common sense, you see, and still joined the Survey Corps even when she knew what the titans can do." Levi runs the knife and the blood flows. "Lia has always been overdependent on her sisters. Which means it goes both ways for the other two. If Lyanne ever acts up, I will have Lia take the punishment." He looks at Nile. "I can assure you, Lyanne would behave if she knows what's good for her."

And that's how they convinced everyone that Lyanne should be under the Survey Corps.

#

Lyanne goes out of the carriage and sees Lia waiting for them. She's wearing a cloth on her hair and an apron. There's also a bandage around her neck. She clenches her fist and breathes in. Not in front of her, not in front of her.

"You're back!" Lia runs and scrambles to hug Lyanne.

Lyanne giggles as she hugs back. "Yeah, I am." She whispers, "I missed you so much."

"Lia." A voice that makes Lyanne rolls her eyes.

Lia pushes herself off her and Lyanne is almost tempted to not let go. "Yes, Captain?"

"Direct your sister to her accommodation. Make my tea afterwards." Levi orders as he gazes at Lia's eyes. Lyanne is very tempted to put a hand over Lia's whole face.

"Understood, Sir." Lia replies and Levi nods as he walks away.

"I hate that guy." Lyanne grumbles.

"He's your protector." Lia points out.

"Are you kidding me?" Lyanne follows Lia when she starts to walk towards a castle. "His whole argument in the court is he will kill you before he kills me."

"He had to do it, you know, for them to believe our case." Lia turns her head towards her. She pushes the door and before entering, she says, "I'm glad you're here."

Lyanne steals a kiss on her forehead and they both giggle as they enter inside the castle.

#

"I'm going to fucking kill you, Levi!" Lyanne growls as soon as she enters a room they direct her in after the scene in the courtroom. When she sees Hanji wrapping a bandage around Lia's neck, Lyanne's anger intensifies. "You son of a fucking bitch -"

"Lyanne, calm down." Erwin says.

"Calm down? Are you kidding me? Levi threatened my sister!"

"No, wait, Lya, please, it's okay." Blythe runs towards Lyanne and cups her face. "It's okay. Lia's okay."

"But, she -"

"We informed Lia of what could happen in the court." Erwin tells her.

"That's it?" She laughs humorlessly. She takes Blythe's hands off her and squeezes it "No! No! You used my sister against me! He has to pay -"

"Alright, Lia, you're fine, now." Hanji announces excitedly. "The cut is not deep but the infection might be bad. So, make sure to change the bandage every six hours and clean it every night."

"Thanks, Squad Leader Hanji." Lia smiles, small. A little forced.

"It's fine." Hanji looks at Mike. "You don't need to hover, you know? Your kid is okay."

"Levi will have my head if I don't see it through." Mike glances at Lia. "Good?"

Lia nods at Mike. She stands up and runs towards Lyanne. "I'm so glad you're okay." And tightens her hold.

Blythe lets go of Lyanne's hands to wrap her arms around the both of them.

Okay, so, maybe Lyanne is still pissed but this is… this is fine. She feels a little bit better this way.

#

The 'accommodation' is pushing it a bit. It's a dungeon where it's dark and creepy. Lyanne can imagine what the doors of this place would sound like in winter. The only conciliation Lyanne has is that it's clean and her bed is not made of straws. Well, whatever. Beggars can't be choosers.

"I cleaned this place first, with Petra. Gunther said not to tell he helped but I never listened to him, anyway." Lia excitedly tells her. "Do you like it?"

"I've slept in worse." Lyanne admits. Which is true. "But I like it, Lia. Thank you."

"Anything for you… you ." Lia snorts. "Also, do you see the two doors beside the entrance of the basement?"

"Yes?" Lyanne asks as she sits down on the bed. Good enough , she thinks.

"That's where Captain Levi and I will sleep. We're going to be rooming near you, just in case."

Lyanne feels all of her energy drains. "You… and that midget?"

"Captain Levi." Lia corrects. "But yes."

"Does that place echoes?"

"Echoes - what are you talking about?"

"Just looking out for you."

"Me? But why?"

Lyanne sighs. "I love you, Lia, but you're really worrying me."

"I should be the one to worry about you." Lia replies, firmly. "You know, with the…" Lia points at all of Lyanne.

"You just pointed at all of me." Lyanne leans back. "But, yes, I guess so. Maybe, we should wait until Blythe comes here so I can talk about my adventures. Which reminds me…" she looks at the door of her room. "Where is Blythe?"

#

"According to Erwin, for the first few days, you will be in-charge of Lyanne's check-ups." Hanji passes Blythe a bunch of paper. Seems about reports and some papers she needs to answer. "Lyanne is a bit emotional after what Levi did to Lia in the courtroom. We thought putting two direct subordinates of Erwin around her will make her angrier. I mean, being under Levi's protection is already pushing it."

Erwin ordered it, though. Blythe wants to say but instead, she just replies, "Understood, Sir."

Hanji purses their lips and asks, worried. "Were you angry about, you know, on what happened?"

Blythe blinks. And then, "You gave us a warning of what might happen when we enter the court. Lia and I knew the consequences." Blythe remembers how cold Erwin was, then. His voice was so technical. If Levi threatening Lia wouldn't be effective. We will use Blythe next. He said.

Levi looked extremely displeased. You better make sure this will work, Erwin. I don't make it a habit to hurt my subordinates.

Then, make it work, Levi. Erwin ordered.

Blythe bites her lip. "It was for Lyanne. It was important." A pause. She stares at Hanji. "But that would be the last time I will have to choose."

Hanji nods. They smile a little differently from their usual. "I got it."

#

"Everything looks okay." Blythe murmurs as she writes something on her paper. She puts it down again and asks. "You said something about your leg, being severed?"

"It was eaten." Lyanne says. "By a titan. I had to push Eren out of the way and it ate my leg because I moved away too late."

"And it regenerated." Blythe adds.

"It was regenerated, yes."

"Like a titan." Blythe adds again.

"Like a titan."

"I see." Blythe writes something in her paper again. "Do you remember what happened when you transformed into a titan?"

"Bits and pieces." Lyanne answers, honestly. "But it was like watching everything through water."

"Right." Blythe continues writing. "Okay. I will come back tomorrow to do another check-up. We might have you transform, even. You know, to research more about your condition."

Lyanne stares at Blythe and feels a sudden urge to hug her. She swallows the lump in her throat. "Blythe, I- you know." She snaps her mouth close.

Blythe looks at her, fond eyes. "What is it?" She asks warmly.

"I'm not sure how I became a titan. I think it had something to do about the day I don't remember when Shiganshina was attacked. There was a memory, I remember… about knowing the answers if I go to Wall Maria."

"Did you tell Commander Erwin?"

"He's the first one I told." Lyanne grumbles.

Blythe pats Lyanne's leg and says, "You know, this is such a heavy burden for you to carry but I'm glad you're here. If anything happens to you…" her voice cracks. "I love you."

"I know ." Lyanne replies and smiles. As genuine as she can.

And that's when Lia comes in, looking like a wife. With a new, clean bandage around her neck. "What did I miss?"

"Nothing. It's the check-up. We're done now, though." Blythe answers.

"Oh, okay." She smiles. "You guys want some tea?"

Lyanne narrows her eyes. "New bandage? Who put it on you?"

Lia blinks. "Captain Levi did. Why? What's the matter?"

Lyanne grits her teeth. "Fucking midget."

"Give it a rest, Lya." Blythe sighs.

"No! One day, he's going to get a piece of me." Lyanne promises.

"Okay, sure." Lia rolls her eyes. "You guys want some tea? I boiled water. Also," Lia grabs Blythe and Lyanne's hands. "Captain, Petra and I are going to shop for supplies. Do you guys want anything?"

"I can't stay." Blythe answers, sadly. "I need to send these paperworks to Commander Erwin. Thank you, Lia." She kisses her cheek. "I'll be back tomorrow. Hopefully, longer."

"If Levi will leave, who's going to supervise me?" Lyanne asks.

#

Lyanne is in the kitchen, sitting at the dining table as a whole mess of papers are in front of her. Apparently, the rest of Levi Squad cleaned the kitchen so she could use it.

Mike is sitting across from her, drinking tea.

"No mercy " Lyanne whines. "Erwin Smith is a demon."

Mike sips his tea loudly.

"Shut up, Mike."

#

Levi offered a ride to Blythe that she accepted but she also kind of regrets because she's seeing a different side of Captain Levi.

"He's this meticulous buying cleaning supplies?" She asks and no, that isn't the side Blythe is talking about. It's well known in the Survey Corps how he's a clean freak.

Petra shrugs. "That's why most of us don't come with him during these trips. Lia is the only one with the patience." No, that still isn't the side.

Blythe watches as a girl who walks past Levi gives him a once-over. That. That side. "He seems popular." She comments. "They don't approach him because he looks unapproachable?"

As if on cue, Levi touches Lia's back that starts at her waist up to the back of her neck where he touches the bandages, gently.

Petra offers her an amused look. "Or that."

Oh, so that's why Lyanne despises this guy.

#

Lia comes back with Levi and Petra with the supplies. Gunther, Oluo and Eld are still cleaning the castle while Lia finds Lyanne, doing paperworks while Mike is staying with her. Petra offers to take the supplies back to the pantry and Levi orders Lia to come with him.

They go to Levi's office. He tells her to sit as he closes the door.

Levi comes closer to Lia, and touches her neck. Specifically the side where he cuts her skin. He clicks his tongue. "Does it hurt?"

"No, Sir."

Levi takes the bandage off and follows the line of the cut. He cleans it with a cloth and hot water. He puts on another new bandage and does it as gently as he can.

"Thank you, Sir." She says, genuinely. She's really grateful.

Suddenly, he asks, "Do you hate me?"

Lia's eyes widen. "No, Sir. I know it needed to be done."

"Good." Levi replies. He puts a hand on her head and rubs it. "Make me tea."

"Yes, Sir."

#

When Blythe comes back, Hanji is waiting for her. She passes Hanji the papers for Lyanne's check-up. They take it and giggle, excitedly.

"Oh! Oh! Finally! This is one of our first steps for a breakthrough!"

Moblit sighs in relief as he sees Blythe. "My hero."

Blythe pats Moblit's back. "I'm proud of you."

He cries as a joke and Blythe can't help but smile.

"How's your sister?" Moblit asks. It amazes her how Moblit can ignore the mess behind him which is Hanji, cackling ominously.

"She's fine. Nothing is wrong except for you know, turning into a titan. In general, she's alright."

"Ohhh. That reminds me!" Hanji exclaims. They run towards Blythe and put their arm on her shoulders. "Remember your kids? Eren Jaeger? Armin Arlert and Mikasa Ackerman?"

"Yes?"

"They'll join the Survey Corps and they're currently staying under Commander Pixis right now. Erwin made me go and ask Pixis, actually."

Blythe can't help but smile. "I miss them." She only had a glimpse of the kids in the court and after that, everything had been hectic, she didn't have time to check. She turns her head towards Hanji and their faces are only inches away from each other. "Thank you."

Hanji backs away slowly. "You're welcome."

"Wow." Moblit deadpans. "What a coward, Squad Leader Hanji."

#

Erwin visits her only to push another batch of paperwork at Lyanne.

"Okay, that's it." Lyanne announces. "Why would you still make me do this? Am I not kicked out as your assistant? I just had a week, Erwin."

Erwin just smiles. The manipulative one. "I thought you might be bored."

"And you're gonna cure my boredom by giving me work?"

Erwin doesn't respond. As a matter of fact, he just leaves Lyanne with a sea of papers and walks out the kitchen.

"I hate you!" Lyanne exclaims. But she still finishes at least thirty pages before dinner is served.

The food is good. Lyanne enjoys it. Oluo does an accurate copy of Levi, and Petra bickers with him to shut up while Gunther does nothing but pretends nothing is happening. Eld is trying to diffuse the situation while Mike is eating far away from them. Levi and Lia are sitting together and even though Lia is sitting next to Lyanne, she feels a wall between them. Which isn't bad but she hates Levi.

After that, Levi tells Lia and Lyanne about the kids and the other trainees that joined the Survey Corps.

Lyanne asks, "Is Jean okay?"

"Jean?" Erwin says. "Who is that?"

"Oh, um…" Lyanne tries to remember Jean's face that isn't tainted by tragedy. "Dirty, blond hair, undercut hairstyle, cute looking, structured jawline?"

Lia blinks. "Cute looki - Lya, this kid is probably the same age as Eren."

"That wasn't what I-" she exclaims and cuts herself off when Erwin and Lia just give her a look. "No, it's because…" she sighs. "I think I traumatized the kid. Before I got eaten, he was the last person I talked to. I'm just worried he joined because of that."

Erwin gives Lyanne a look. For a moment, there's nothing. Then, "He will be here in a few days. You should ask him."

Lyanne just nods.

At night, Lyanne waves Lia goodbye and curses silently at Levi. She lays down on the bed and feels the key underneath her shirt. She remembers the time when she was tied up in the dungeon and Erwin and Levi gave her a visit.

"You don't know how it happened, either." Erwin says it like a statement, like a fact.

"No." She answers, honestly. "There was… there was a day when the titans breached the wall that I couldn't remember." She shows Erwin and Levi the key. "Except for this. The only thing I remember is the person who owned this key told me to go to Wall Maria and find the basement. He said the answers will be found there."

"So, the answer to how you can turn into a titan is in this key."

Lyanne nods, solemn.

"We must retake Wall Maria, then." Erwin announces. "What do you think, Levi?"

Levi looks at Erwin at the corner of his eyes. "If it's an order, I'll follow." He turns his attention back to Lyanne. "Just make sure your goal aligns with ours, Lia's sister."

She glares at Levi. "I just want to protect Lia and Blythe. That's the goal."

Levi pauses, raises an eyebrow and says, "Oh? Not bad."

#

The next day, Lyanne ditches the paperworks and helps Lia to clean the rooms around the castle. She finds it hilarious how Mike puts Lia on his shoulder to clean the ceiling.

And she's sure Petra and Oluo bickering is just disguised for their flirting.

And Levi is too much of a fucking clean freak for his size.

#

Lyanne is outside with Blythe and Lia for a daily check-up when they hear distant footsteps. They all turn around to find Eren, Mikasa, and Armin running towards them.

Before Lyanne can curse, the air in her lungs get knocked off as Eren jumps to embrace her.

"Eren," she chokes out." Eren."

But Eren doesn't let go. And if Eren makes the shoulder part of her shirt wet by his tears, he's not going to hear it from her.

Chapter 10: Intermission: Attack on Titan, 2020 Edition

Summary:

In another universe, this is what would happened.

Notes:

THIS IS NOT FIC-CANON. i repeat, this is NOT fic-canon. i did this for fun and a thank you for all the readers of this story, especially this is a OC content, it actually got 500 hits! thank you so much, i appreciate y'all for reading and i hope you enjoy your stay as i enjoy writing it, as well.

(that's a lie fuck you isayama)

this is a parody of isayama's fake previews in the high school au he's doing. thank you again 500 hits!

leave a kudos, if you haven't. comment anything - your ship, your criticism, what you enjoyed, your theories, and any questions you might have. i read them - with two of my friends who blythe and lyanne are inspired of - and we appreciate it all.

ANYWAY ENOUGH. Thank you so much! Please continue supporting. Mwah mwah mwah.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

"You look like shit." Lyanne says, as Lia pads slowly to the kitchen. She's wearing a big sweatshirt that Lyanne is sure isn't hers and a sweatpants that also isn't hers. "Like, not even physically, dude, like you're -"

"Yeah, I got you the first time." Lia replies. Grabs a mug and pour herself an unadulterated black coffee; no sugar, no milk, no creamer. Nothing.

Blythe gasps. "Oh, no! She's gone rogue!" She puts the, hopefully, cooked eggs in a plate and offers it to Lia.

"You okay, buddy?" Lyanne asks, genuinely worried.

"Yeah." Lia drinks the newly-boiled coffee with so much ease, it makes Lyanne and Blythe wince. "Just finished a deadline. You'll think they'll have a mercy on my suffering writer ass but noooo. They gave me one day off and promised a vacation after the book is published."

"They're not gonna give you a vacation after that." Blythe comments.

"Not until the book signing is done." Lyanne adds.

Lia dramatically cries while eating Blythe's, still hopeful it's cooked eggs. "The eggs are good, Bly. Thank you."

"Anything for you, my suffering friend." Blythe turns her attention back to the stove. "You want some depression eggs, too?"

Lyanne shrugs. "Yeah, I'll take two."

#

Lyanne can hear the crying in Lia's room while she's watching some shows about… she absolutely has no idea on what it's about. She kind of zoned out when a flying saucer came out of nowhere.

She stands up and knocks on Lia's door. "Hey, girl, you okay?"

Lia sniffs. In a small voice, she replies, "Yeah, I'm fine."

"Why are you crying?"

"Nothing."

Blythe comes out of the bathroom wrapped around a towel. She raises an eyebrow at Lyanne. Lyanne mouths, she's crying inside. Blythe walks in tip-toe and puts her ear against Lia's door. She mouths back, not crying?

She was!

Really? I don't hear it!

Lyanne rolls her eyes. She won't cry now that I'm here! If she cries now, it means she's guilty!

Hot Milky?

Lyanne can't take it anymore. She knocks on Lia's door again. "Hey, I'm worried about you. Open the door."

For a few moments, it's just silence. Then, there's a soft footstep and someone turning the knob and a door opening. Lia's eyes are red-rimmed.

"Oh, girl. What happened?"

Lia sniffles. She's holding a box of tissues and wrapped around a blanket. "I'm just watching Up. The dog said he stayed under the porch because he loves Carl." She starts sobbing.

"Okay, that's it." Lyanne decides. She turns to Blythe and points to her towel. "Get dressed." And then back to Lia. "You, too. And don't wear those clothes that could fit The Rock. We're going out."

Lyanne starts getting ready, too. She wears a thick jacket that her dad bought her for her birthday last year. It still smells like Romania. She walks out and finds Blythe in an even thicker jacket and Lia looking so glum. She's reading something and when Lyanne reaches her, it's Attack on Titan.

Lyanne grabs the book. "How can you read something so depressing? Leave it. Come on, let's go." She throws the book in the living room table and grabs Lia and Blythe out.

"Where are we going?" Lia asks.

"Maybe the sea or something. You like water, right?" Lyanne pushes the two of them on the elevator.

"The sea. In winter." Blythe comments, incredulously. "I'd understand if Lia suggested it but you should know how cold it will be at this time of the year."

"Then, we'll freeze. Like Annie." Lyanne jokes.

"Was that a Attack on - what the fuck -"

Suddenly, the elevator halts and the light starts blinking rapidly.

"Wow, " Lia deadpans. "Now, the elevator wants me dead, too."

"Jesus, Lia, don't be morbid right now!"

With no warning, the elevator becomes stable and the light stops blinking. The elevator works perfectly as it comes down.

They all blink.

"We're alive." Lia announces.

Blythe drags Lia and Lyanne out of the elevator. "Come on, girls, let's go."

They walk to the parking lot as Lyanne tells the landlord of what happened in the elevator. They didn't find the guard, they probably checked what happened to the electricity.

"Ah, fuck." Blythe drawls. "I forgot my phone."

Lyanne sighs. "Get it, then. We'll wait."

"Sorry, guys! I'll take the stairs~" Blythe exclaims.

Lia and Lyanne watch as she goes.

Then Lia says, "She does know we're on the sixth floor, right?"

"Hopefully." Lyanne grunts.

A couple of minutes later, Lyanne gets a phone call and it's Blythe just hysterically hissing, "GET BACK HERE RIGHT NOW!"

"What?" Lyanne whines. "We're about to go -"

"Now, Lyanne!" Blythe snaps and hangs up.

"Talk about a change of mood." Lyanne says as she pulls the phone away from her ear and stares at it like it offended her. "Well, fine. Come on, Lia, Blythe says we need to go back."

#

"I want to go back down." Lia says as she stares at what's in front of her. Which is fair.

It's nothing much, really. It's just a fucking cosplayer wearing a uniform from Attack on Titan, in the middle of their living room, looking back at them, wide-eyed.

"How is he this shocked when he's the one who breaks into the apartment?" Lyanne asks, a little angry. "Did you hook up with a cosplayer, Lia? You know, all the women and men coming out of our apartments and entering your room?"

Lia gives Lyanne a look. "Those are the editors, Lya. And they came to torment me."

Okay, that's shocking. Lyanne always thought Lia was doing some wild ass shit inside her room. "Even the one who gave you the sweatpants?"

"Yeah, even that one. Though, I would have hooked up with him, to be honest. He's married, though, with two kids."

"Aww, that sucks."

Blythe looks at them with I'm done eyes. "Is that what's important right now?"

Lia and Lyanne say, "Sorry." at the same time.

"How'd he break in, anyway? The door?" Lyanne asks.

"The door is locked, Lyanne." Blythe answers.

"The window?" Lyanne scowls. "We're on the sixth floor."

"Believe me, I know." Blythe grumbles. "No, he didn't break into the window, either. I checked."

"Should we call the police?" Lyanne suggests.

Which makes Cosplayer Eren stand up and angrily says, "The Military Police won't come. They never do."

"Military - Christ. Fine, no police. But maybe a psychiatrist?" Lyanne looks at Lia and Blythe.

"For him or for us?" Blythe asks.

Instead of answering, Lia turns to the boy. "What's your name?"

Honestly, the boy kind of looks like Er-

"-en Jaeger. I'm part of the Trainee Corps."

They all look done with what he just said.

"You're telling me, Eren Jaeger is your name. What's next, your dad's name is Grisha and your mom's name is Carla?"

'Eren' looks at Lia like a puppy. "Yes, yes! You know my parents?"

Silence.

Lia takes the book Lyanne threw on the table a while ago. She holds it up next to 'Eren's' head. The three of them look at the cover.

Eren in the flesh. Eren in the cover. Back and forth.

"Check google." Lia hisses.

Blythe pulls her phone out and types Eren Jaeger Anime Season One.

"You type like an old woman," Lyanne comments.

"Shut up." Blythe replies with no heat. She clicks the first photo that comes out and holds up the phone.

The similarity is uncanny. It's just, you know, Eren in the flesh is in the flesh.

"Jesus fucking Christ." Lia curses.

"Alright, kid, come on." Blythe grabs Eren's wrist and takes him to the kitchen. She takes an ice cream out of the fridge and a spoon. "Eat."

"But -"

"Eat."

Eren eats.

Blythe comes back to the living room and says, "You do realize if that's really Eren Jaeger, he just transported from the Attack on Titan timeline to our world."

"Yeah. We got a man who committed mass genocide inside our house." Lia gives Eren a look.

"No, that's not him. That one was around the end of the manga -"

"Lyanne, we are not here to get technical. We got a fucking dude who thinks he's Eren Jaeger inside the house." She looks at Lia and Lyanne wide-eyed. "Do you know how much rent that will be?"

Lia nods. "Asking the real questions."

And then, Eren in the kitchen whimpers and says, "Ahhh, my head."

The three of them look at him at the same time and say, "Brainfreeze."

Notes:

if you laughed or w/e, i already made a writing twitter.

ryiason

please follow me. i will unpriv it later on. i will post snippets of the next chapters not only of this fic but all of my fics. you can yell at me there to update any of my fics you think i haven't been giving attention.

kudos. leave a comment. REAAAAAD. thank you

Chapter 11: Eve of The Counterattack: Survey Corps Headquaters

Notes:

this chapter is enjoyable to write and fucking terrible because the fluff almost killed me. isayama broke me and not even in a sexy way. fuck you isayama

Chapter Text

Lyanne looks up from Eren when she hears more footsteps. Her eyes lock with Jean's, and the kid's looking like he just swallowed a lemon.

The newly recruited members of the Survey Corps have arrived at the new Headquarters.

#

"You're telling me, all of these brats will join my squad?" Levi asks, with a look of disdain on his face.

"That's what Erwin said." Hanji shrugs as they pass the letter to Levi. "He's taking extra measures to prove to the court they made the right decision of letting Lyanne stay here."

Levi clicks his tongue as he looks at them. Armin can feel Mikasa twitch, like she's a second away from fighting the Humanity's Strongest , and Lia's superior. He tries to give her a warning by looking at her in the corner of his eyes. It wouldn't do anybody good if she tries anything.

Thankfully, Mikasa just glares at him. Levi gives all of them a once-over, and looks very disgusted after.

"Petra," Levi calls.

"Sir?"

"Make these brats clean their accommodations and inform Lia to come to my office."

Armin's hands jerk by hearing Lia's name. They only met briefly a while ago when they saw them outside. It's only a few minutes of them seeing Lia, Lyanne and Blythe, it's still not enough for him. It's never enough.

Levi walks away from them without looking back and Hanji follows him, and asking questions, where is Blythe? She's here right? And Levi saying, shut up, you sound like you're taking a big shit.

They all follow Petra inside the castle and walk to the stairs. To the second floor, there are only two rooms and a big hallway. At the end of it, is a window.

"The first floor is for Captain Levi and the rest of us, the kitchen, dining table and the office are there as well. The second floor is yours. The third floor is for the supplies." Petra points to two doors, which are across each other. "This will be your accommodation. Clean it. Make sure it has no dirt. Captain Levi doesn't react kindly to anything dirty." She opens one of the doors. "This is for the girls. That one is for the boys. When you wake up, clean after yourselves. Captain Levi checks everything."

Armin just stares at her.

"What are you doing?" Petra raises an eyebrow. "Go and start!"

Everybody starts moving. Armin even hears Reiner asking where the mops are and Jean answering something sarcastic.

Petra points to Eren, Mikasa and him, suddenly. "Except you three. I need to stay here and watch if they're doing their job. Captain said to inform Lia to go to his office. Find her. After that," she sighs and mutters, I can't believe I'm being this soft, "there are weeds at the back. Make sure there are no traces of those when I check them."

"Yes, Sir!" All of them say.

Petra waves her hand. "Go."

All three of them immediately walk down the stairs as fast as they can. It wouldn't take a genius; she wants them to meet Lyanne, Blythe and Lia. When they get down to the first floor, a man gives them a look.

He raises an eyebrow. "Newbies? What are you doing? Aren't you supposed to clean the second floor?"

"What's that, Eld?" Another one comes in. He looks older than 'Eld'. "Brats?"

"Miss Petra said to find Li- Miss Lia and to inform her that Captain Levi is looking for her and for us to take the weeds at the back." Armin says.

'Eld' turns his head to the other guy, incredulously. "Did you hear that, Oluo?"

Oluo sighs. "Petra is doing something unnecessary-" he bites his tongue.

"Lia and her sisters are out in the back." Eld adds.

Oluo wipes his mouth with a cloth. "Go, then. If Petra said so, then do it. Don't tell Lia about Captain Levi. He probably wants tea. I'll do it."

Eld chuckles. "You're gonna make Captain break your neck."

Oluo sputters then glares at them. "Go do as you're told, brats. "

Armin doesn't need to be told twice. He runs outside and circles around to the back to find Lyanne doing push-ups as Blythe is standing over her. Lia is sitting on the grass and Armin remembers a time after the attack in Shiganshina and before the three of them joined the Survey Corps. It was summer and it was hot for months but that day was different. The weather was nice and the breeze didn't feel too hot, it was warm and they all stayed outside and took a nap under a tree. He was sure Blythe was humming some tune he never heard before but it was calming, even though it felt heart wrenching at times.

Those days were the best.

Those days were gone.

"Hey!" Eren exclaims as he runs towards Blythe. He hugs her and she yelps as Eren carries her and twirls.

Armin goes to Lia and lays down to put his head on his lap. Mikasa embraces the now-standing Lyanne.

"Man, you guys are fast!" Lyanne chuckles. She hugs Mikasa back and rubs her hair. "I'm shocked Captain Midget let you guys off."

"It was Miss Petra who did." Armin corrects. He's enjoying it as Lia plays with his hair. "She said to go to the back to cut the weeds."

Lyanne snorts. "Gunther finished this side two days ago. She could be a little more subtle." She grunts. "Alright, Mikasa, my ribs hurt."

Eren finally puts down Blythe and Blythe looks like she's about to pass out.

"Sorry." Eren murmurs.

"It's fine. I'm not gonna hurl." Blythe smiles at Eren. "Just don't do that again ."

They all smile at each other. They sit on the grass and for a moment, it's a comfortable silence.

It's Eren who breaks it first. "Are you okay, Lia? I know Captain Levi had to what he had to do but -"

"I'm fine." Lia assures. "It needed to be done. The only way for the court to believe that it's safe to leave Lyanne on our side is to make sure they have the upperhand."

Eren nods, satisfied.

Mikasa doesn't look too happy. "It's still not right for him to do that to you. If I could just…"

"You are not doing anything to the superior." Blythe warns.

"I'm not going to do anything!" Mikasa blinks innocently. "Not that he would know of…" she adds, muttering.

"I raised you well." Lyanne pats Mikasa's head.

"You don't support that kind of behavior, Lya! Mikasa -"

And Armin stares at them, with Mikasa enjoying the touch and Eren laughing at them while Blythe and Lyanne bicker. Lia is on the side enjoying what's happening.

If only this day wouldn't stop.

If only this world could be a little kinder.

#

When they get inside, the other 'newbies' are still cleaning because Captain Levi 'checked' and it didn't pass his standards. While Oluo is in the stables, cleaning the horse's dirt.

"He was being too soft," Eld says, laughing softly. "Don't mind it."

#

"You mean to say, you think the titan thing that's happening on Lyanne makes her physical strength and stamina better?" Hanji asks as they read the report.

"Yeah. She said she could do fifty push ups before and she's already giving up after that, but right now, she could do a hundred without getting tired."

"Interesting. And all of these with no sign of her turning into a titan?"

"No." Blythe shakes her head. "It looks like extreme physical pain is the catalyst. She told me she bit her hand until it bled to transform when she saved the trainees back then."

"Where did she get that piece of knowledge?"

Blythe swallows the lump in her throat. "Possibly from that day she couldn't remember. She said she could only remember some of the memories and it's still not clear."

Hanji taps the table with her hands. "Alright. What's your next plan for the check up?"

"I was thinking to check how her physical strength affects her combat skills. I was thinking she'll do a little physical training with the new recruited members of Levi Squad."

"Did Levi ask you if you could do that?" Hanji tilts their head.

"No." She pursed her lips. "Lia did."

"Which means, Levi did. Well, if you think that's the best, then do it."

Blythe nods. "Thank you, Squad Leader. Oh, and, stop drinking too much tea. Switch to water."

Hanji sniffles. "Thanks for caring about me."

"I always care about you."

Hanji chokes on nothing.

#

"We'll do a little different training for today." Lia announces. With Jean being busy cleaning and doing other orders from the members of Levi Squad, he hasn't seen Lyanne again. He's looking at her now, and he doesn't remember her being this… radiant . She's not even doing anything special. But Jean guesses that's what it does to him, being told their last words with.

"- volunteer?" Lia asks and Jean blinks back to reality. Shit . He wasn't listening. He was too busy staring at Lyanne.

Now, he thinks about it, he hasn't formally met Lia and Blythe, the other two sisters. The three of them are always doing something and busy. The only time Jean had heard about them after he joined the Survey Corps was from Armin and Eren - Mikasa just looks elevated.

Reiner volunteers himself. Which, Jean is not exactly sure if it's a good idea or not. But Lyanne finishes him with one good kick and he crashes down to the ground with a thud.

"You okay?" Lyanne asks. "Even I'm surprised with my strength." She offers her hand to Reiner and Reiner takes it, lets himself be pulled up by Lyanne like a sack of potatoes.

Jean sweats thinking of what that means.

"That was too easy, even for you." Blythe comments.

Lyanne shrugs. "Another?"

"Two more." Blythe orders. "After that, make the newbies fight among themselves."

The second one is Eren, which Lyanne doesn't hold back to. She punches Eren's stomach and Eren just doubles in pain.

"No mercy." Lia says.

Third one is Mikasa who seems to find an opening but kicks Lyanne in the face and a tooth flies off - Mikasa's eyes widen but Lyanne finishes her off by pulling her foot and throwing her back.

"Alright," Blythe stands up. "That's enough."

Lyanne touches the side of her face that was kicked and Lia pulls a cloth out of her pocket and picks up the teeth.

"I'm sorry." Mikasa tells Lyanne, and she looks really devastated.

Lyanne just pats her head. "Don't worry. We were doing a one on one. It was justified."

Lia grabs Lyanne's hand and holds it. Jean clenches his fist watching it happen. "Gunther and Oluo will be checking you guys in the meantime. We need to go."

Blythe offers them a smile before leaving.

#

"This is Lyanne's tooth?" Hanji starts panting as they open the cloth and finds a single tooth.

Blythe is regretting this already. "That isn't the point, Squad Leader. The point is, Lyanne grew another replacement as soon as it was gone!"

Hanji screams in excitement.

Blythe looks at Moblit who doesn't spare her a glance.

Unbelievable.

#

"Hey, Lia, it's my turn to cook. Help me -"

"Can't, Lya, Captain Levi asked me to -"

Lyanne rolls her eyes. "Go."

Lia offers her an apologetic look before running away. Blythe is with Hanji and they also borrowed Armin, Eren and Mikasa. Something about titan experiments that includes actual titans. She'd ask Mike but Mike, no matter how good he is with slicing titans, he's apparently bad at cutting food. She has no choice. She checks outside to find some of the newbies cutting wood, cleaning gears… and she finds Jean wiping some windows.

"Hey, Kirstein!" Lyanne calls.

Jean looks at her, shocked.

"Come here!"

Jean runs towards her.

"Get inside."

Jean gets inside and follows her towards the kitchen.

"I'm going to cook for today." She informs him. "I'm not allowed to touch the knives just in case it turns me into a titan, unexpectedly. So, cut these vegetables and I'll start boiling some stuff."

Jean nods. He takes a knife and starts doing his job.

"You're good." Lyanne says with a smile. "You cook?"

"Ah, not much." Jean clears his throat. "But I help my mom around the kitchen."

"Right. Are you done with the potatoes?" Lyanne asks. Jean nods. "Pass them to me."

Jean does. After that, he cuts another.

"By the way…" Lyanne looks at him. "Are you okay?"

Jean pauses what he's doing and looks back at her. "I'm sorry?"

"I mean, with the last words I told you when you probably thought I died and then I turned into a titan…"

"That's…" Jean shakes his head. "No. You're still the same Lyanne who led us and saved our lives even if you turn into a titan."

"Yeah, thanks for the boost." Lyanne gives an occasional chuckle. "But what I'm about to say was… maybe you joined the Survey Corps because of that… you shouldn't have to."

Jean's jaw drops and looks stunned for a moment before he turns his head away. "No… not the reason. My friend. Marco. He's a trainee, like me." Jean continues cutting. "He's… he's gone."

A pause. For a moment, all Jean hears is the sound of water boiling and his knife cutting a carrot.

"Have I met him?" Lyanne asks, softly.

"Once." Jean mutters with a sigh. "He was there when you did your recruitment before the titans attacked."

Lyanne goes back to what she's cooking and doesn't say anything else after that.

"Blythe…" Lyanne says. "She lost a friend, once. I wasn't there when it happened. Lia said it wasn't pretty. But I was there for the aftermath." She looks at Jean. "The aftermath is still happening till now. She's… never been the same. I guess she just hides it better."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Because…" Lyanne sighs. "I just thought this isn't the life you wanted to lead."

"Are you… are you trying to make me quit the Survey Corps?"

Lyanne laughs, nervously. "If Erwin hears that, he'll give me more paperwork than you can deal with."

Jean sighs before he scowls. He puts down the knife and turns his body towards him. "What are you saying, then?"

"I'm just saying if the only reason why you want to die for a cause is because of a dead friend, don't do it. You can honor them by living your best life on their stead."

"You said Blythe lost a friend, too!"

"That's not the only reason why she joined. And I don't have to tell you those." Lyanne says firmly.

Jean's eyes widened. "Then, why -"

"Because when the time comes, I don't think I could protect you!" Lyanne screams.

Jean snaps his mouth close. He turns away from her. "I don't need you to." He croaks out.

Lyanne sighs as she goes back to what she's cooking. "Let's hope you're right."

#

Lyanne's cooking is good. Very good. Jean has to fight to get a second because almost all of them want to have another second.

The after taste is left to be desired. His last conversation with Lyanne left ashes in his mouth.

#

Lia slowly tears the skin of the orange and the smell travels inside Lyanne's room. It smells nice, and she would enjoy it if the orange didn't come from Levi. Lia gives her a piece and Lyanne opens her mouth, Lia rolls her eyes and pops the slice of orange into her mouth.

"Was I wrong to say that to Jean?" Lyanne asks as she chews. "I worry about him."

"You're unusually interested in this kid." Lia gives a piece to Blythe who just opens her mouth, too, and Lia has to feed her like a baby chick.

"Giving him my last words would do it to anyone." Lyanne says, dryly.

"Is that all there is to it?" Lia asks as she eats her own orange.

"Should there be any other reason?"

Lia sighs. "I'm not saying there is. I'm saying it's unusual."

Lyanne looks away. "I just don't think I could protect another kid." She manages to say which is a lot. Her throat feels constricted.

"That's not your job."

"I know." She turns her head a bit to Blythe, who's staring at nothing. "Hey, we're talking about how I have a savior complex and you're just looking at somewhere else."

Lia giggles.

Blythe blinks and breathes in. "Yes, sorry. I was deep in thought."

"Why?" Lyanne asks.

"I was just thinking if it's possible to turn humans into titans."

Lyanne raises an eyebrow. "You mean titans are humans?"

" Were. They used to be human. Not anymore."

"Where did this come from? Is it because of Lyanne?" Lia leans forward and grabs Blythe's hand. "Are you okay?"

"I always had this thought. Even before Lyanne turned into one. It just actually intensified my theory. I mean, titans all have the qualities of a human being. Their face, their body, their mannerism. The tooth that flew out of Lyanne's mouth, has the same components of the tooth of a titan. The titan's tooth evaporates though. And except for wanting to murder us, everything fits. If… if someone can turn Lyanne, a human being, to a titan. What's stopping them from doing it with everybody else?"

"Okay… that's…" Lia puts down her orange. "Are you saying someone is deliberately making people titans? Someone is in-charge of doing that?"

Blythe doesn't answer.

"Did you tell Hanji this?" Lyanne asks.

"No." Blythe lets out a shaky breath as she leans back. "I can't. There's not much evidence, anyway. Other than the tooth and observations of the similarities of the bodies - I got nothing. It's just an assumption."

"Is that really it?" Lyanne asks again. This time, she looks at Blythe straight in the eye. "Or are you scared to be right?"

"I can't be right. It's far-fetched." Blythe answers.

But Lyanne knows even Blythe doesn't believe that.

#

"Your form is good but it could be better. When you do this kind of move, it's all about the feet." Lyanne tells Reiner as she demonstrates on how to do a kick that gave him a thud of his life. "See?"

Reiner scowls in concentration. "Yes."

Lyanne laughs. "Don't be too hard on yourself, kid. I've been doing this for a while and you're just learning it now. The difference in our experiences is large but it doesn't mean you can't be good at it."

"I know. I guess I'm just a little bit disappointed I can't do it as well as you do."

"Right now. You can't do it well, right now. You will do good later. Maybe, tomorrow, or the next day." Lyanne grabs Reiner's neck to pull him down so she could pat his head. "Be a little kinder to yourself. The world is too cruel already."

Reiner's body is stiff but Lyanne just brushes it off as shock because of her sudden physical touch. She forgets that everybody is not like her kids.

"Sorry, Reiner. Habits . Eren, Armin and Mikasa like their heads being patted."

"No!" Reiner denies. "No, it's fine! I don't - I don't mind."

Lyanne smirks. She cuffs him by the neck and uses her knuckles to rub the center of his head. "You sure? You sure?"

"Wait, Lyanne, my head - hurts -"

Eren comes with a look of what are you doing? in his face with Mikasa and Armin behind him.

Lyanne tightens her hold to Reiner's neck. "What's going on?"

"Blythe said we can already come back here. Where's Lia?"

Lyanne shrugs. "Midget asked for her. Mike is somewhere, though. Maybe, we could ask him to call for Lia. Do you want anything?"

"No, Lya." Armin points to Reiner. "Is he okay?"

"Hmm? Yeah…" Lyanne lets go of Reiner and Reiner groans in pain as he holds the top of his head. "We were just doing some physical training. He said something cute so I cuffed him."

Eren frowns. "You used to do that to me."

"Wow, jealous, Eren?" Lyanne chuckles. "You're still my favorite."

Armin gasps. "Not me?"

"I don't believe it." Mikasa glares at Reiner. "I guess, I'll have to kill you."

Reiner looks at them, with a look of disbelief on his face. "I didn't even ask for it!"

"You guys just to have to fight for my attention -"

Before Lyanne can even finish, Eren already attacks Reiner and Reiner has no choice but to defend herself.

It ends up with Mike stopping the fight with Lyanne laughing at the background.

#

Because of what happened, Mike ordered Eren and Reiner to clean the stables and for Jean to 'watch' over them. But to be honest, it's just because Mike hates the smell of 'horseshit', he has a sensitive nose.

"Out of all people, I didn't think Reiner would get caught up in your bullshit, Eren." Jean laughs, mockingly.

Eren glares at Jean. "Shut up."

"My bad." Jean looks at Reiner. "You missed a spot."

Reiner groans. "It's all Lyanne's fault -"

"Don't bring my sister into this." Eren hisses.

Jean uncomfortably shifts his body. He's always wondered how Eren can get Reiner into trouble considering Reiner has always been level-headed but now, Jean hears that name, it makes sense. "What happened?"

"He's trying to steal -"

"I'm not stealing anything! I asked Lyanne to teach me some of her techniques and then she -"

Jean tries to imagine Reiner being that close to Lyanne and yeah. Yeah, maybe Eren has a point of fighting Reiner.

Reiner clears his throat. "Anyway, she's… she's nice. And fun to be around. You… you're lucky. There are three of them with you."

"You don't need to tell me I'm lucky. I know I am." Eren snaps. He huffs as he goes back to digging some horseshit. He coughs and says, softly. "But if you want, I can share them with you."

Reiner raises an eyebrow. "What are you talking about?"

"They're my sisters. I know how good they are and… you seem to know it, too. I can't… I can't lose them. But I can share. I know Armin and Mikasa will agree. You… you deserve to feel the kind of kindness they give." He turns his head a bit to look at Jean. "Same goes to you, horseface."

Jean replies, "Shut up, suicidal bastard." with no heat. Because Jean knows the gravity of what Eren just said. From what he heard, Eren lost both of his mother and father. He can imagine how heavy it is to say that he'll share the three people who technically cared for him like a parent would.

Reiner smiles and pats Eren's back. "Thanks, Eren."

Eren grits his teeth. "Did you just wipe horseshit on my back?!"

#

Lia is used to Levi changing the bandage that's around her neck. She doesn't even need to do it herself because like clockwork, Levi will call her for 'tea' but it's just another order Levi issues for Lia to visit his office.

He doesn't do much. He cleans it with hot water, waits for it to dry and wraps it with a bandage. It's actually starting to heal but Levi is always careful, anyway.

Most days, Levi will let Lia go after that. Some days, she'll give Lia some fruits to eat inside his office and she has to stay and eat it in front of him.

There are no words exchanged between them during this time.

But the silence is enough.

#

Eren is in-charge to take out the trash today. He's always been doing it after everything is cleaned after dinner because Captain Levi gets a look on his face when he still sees the trash the next day and Lia always volunteers to clean it and there's this whole - the thing is, Eren doesn't want to make Lia do anything. She still has bandages around her neck.

He finds Lyanne, Lia and Blythe outside, cutting some woods and giggling to themselves. He washes his hands after throwing the trash.

"You don't have to do that." Eren says. "I'll do it."

Lyanne shrugs as she passes Eren the axe. "Do the honors, then."

"Why do you need some woods?" Eren asks.

"Nothing." Blythe breathes. "For white noise, maybe. It was too quiet."

"Are you going to sleep here tonight, Bly?" Eren swings the axe and cuts a wood in half. Lyanne claps, genuinely impressed.

"Yes. Tomorrow morning, we'll do an experiment on Lyanne's titan form." Blythe answers.

Eren halts. "Really?"

"It won't be too bad." Lia smiles. "Don't worry too much."

"Yeah, Eren, I'll be fine. I'm strong. " Lyanne shows off her muscles.

Eren chuckles, a little forced. "Yeah, I know."

"You okay, Eren?" Blythe frowns, worried. "Something's wrong?"

Now, I made Bly worried. Jeez. Eren thinks. "No. It's nothing."

"Well, it has to be something if you look this upset. So, I'm gonna repeat what Blythe just asked: what's wrong?" Lyanne looks at him with a gentle expression on her face.

"I just feel like… I'm not enough. I'm not doing anything enough. I -" Eren croaks out. "I'm always being saved. And I'm not doing anything to return the favor. I just… I'm not anything special. Do I deserve -"

"You don't have to be special to be born." Lia cuts him off. "You just have to be loved . Eren," she calls. Softly. Gentle. Warm. "Eren, you are loved. We are here for you."

"And you deserve it, too. Because you were born." Lyanne says, firmly. "Because you exist."

"At our very core, humanity's essence is love, whatever that means to us." Blythe adds. "It's what moves us forward. Eren, don't doubt you deserve love. You deserve it because you are human. Nothing else."

Eren feels his cheeks go warm. Even when he was little, he knew his parents loved him. But his father… his father had always been a little different from him. Like he could do anything and Eren is just… Eren. He's nothing special.

But Eren is loved.

And that's enough.

#

Erwin pushes a bunch of papers in front of Lyanne. She has to resist the urge to roll her eyes.

"If it's just another paperwork to do, you could have -"

"No." Erwin butts in. "Check it."

Lyanne blinks at him but does what she's told. These are maps. A lot of maps. And the most noticeable thing is how the maps indicate different positions of her location.

"What is this?" She asks.

"I will distribute that to the members of the Survey Corps for our plan to lure out the traitors that got Hanji's titans killed."

Our? Lyanne wants to ask. She can bet this is just all Erwin, with no one to consult if he's doing the right thing. He's always been a little unhinged. But this is different. She can feel her spine goes stiff.

"This is a suicide plan." She grits at him.

"Yes."

"You're going to use me as bait."

"Yes."

"And I'm not the one dying for it, too."

Erwin taps the table with his index finger. "If it goes well, no one has to die at all."

"You've always been a manipulative jerk but never a liar, Erwin." Lyanne hisses. "You can't expect for no one to die with this kind of plan. Even walking outside these walls is a death trap. This is -"

"I have no choice." Erwin replies. "We need answers and if we're not going to seek it, we won't find them."

Lyanne opens her mouth to retort but Oluo and Gunther come in with supplies. They seem to notice the atmosphere between Lyanne and Erwin and hesitate to enter the kitchen.

Erwin gathers the papers and stands up. "Come in. We're just done talking." To Lyanne, he says, "We'll discuss it at a later date."

Lyanne just stares at Erwin's back while he's leaving. She always thought Erwin is a little bit crazy but he's always been given a satisfactory result. That's why the Survey Corps is still here.

But it doesn't take away the fact Erwin might be insane.

She wants to ask him, why did you tell me this, anyway ? But she has a feeling he'll answer on how he owes her the truth. But with Erwin, the truth is not always what she wants to hear.

Chapter 12: Eve of The Counter Attack: The Female Titan

Notes:

isayama, congratulation on finishing attack on titan! (this is the only time i'll be nice to you)

Chapter Text

Erwin's office mirrors a lot about him.

Clean, precise and very sharp. There's nothing much inside it. Just a few bookshelves, a table, a couch, and a lamp that she bought for him when he realized Erwin liked going back to his office when he already went home a few hours ago.

Lyanne supposes this kind of interior is to make the other person feel comfortable but it feels suffocating, instead. Like, not even his office can tell anybody what he is, as a person.

It's just... bleak. Blank. She supposes that says something about Erwin, as well.

Lyanne sits on the couch with Lia and Blythe while Levi and Hanji are sitting across Erwin. In front of Erwin is a stack of maps that Lyanne already had seen.

Erwin takes two and gives it to Levi and Hanji. "These are yours. As the leader of your respective squads, you need to know where you are located."

Levi and Hanji take it. Lyanne counts in her head; one, two, three - before Hanji reacts.

"Wait, Erwin -"

Erwin shakes his head and orders Lia and Blythe, "Can you take these remaining maps and distribute it to the leaders of the teams?"

That's basically a dismissal if Lyanne ever sees one.

Lia and Blythe wordlessly stand up and take the maps. They're about to walk out of the room when Levi calls Lia's name. Lia turns around to look at Levi.

"Wait for me in my office."

Lia nods and closes the door without a sound.

The tension is so thick inside this office, she can cut it with a knife.

She swallows the lump in her throat.

"Erwin…" Levi says, his voice is cold.

Oh, here we go.

Jean watches as Lyanne plays with her food but never actually eats it. He frowns as Lia shoves a bread inside Lyanne's mouth and - he can no longer see her because Eren is sitting in front of Lyanne which means what Jean is watching now is Eren's useless back.

Fucking suicidal bastard.

There was a whole announcement about the expedition tomorrow and how there was a meeting that not only Captain Levi and Squad Leader Hanji needed to attend but also Lyanne, Blythe and Lia. It was enough to make a noise amongst the new recruits. It's not like Jean wants to know what the meeting was about but he wants to know enough as to why Lyanne hasn't been eating her dinner.

"- and you know, Eren was -" Connie grabs a handful of Jean's shirt and pulls. Jean chokes and slaps Connie's hand but Connie is faster by letting go of his shirt first. "You're not listening to me." He accuses. Connie looks at what Jean was staring at. "Why are you looking at Eren?"

"I'm not looking at Eren." He hisses as a reply.

"If you aren't, then what are you looking at - oh."

"Oh?" Jean asks. "What do you mean by oh?"

"You're not looking at Eren, you're looking at his sister!"

Jean's eyes widened. He slaps his hand into Connie's mouth and looks around. Thankfully, no one heard him. Or so Jean thinks. The dining area is a bit loud today, anyway. With the lack of Captain Levi, his squad is a bit loose with the rules. Not even Sir Mike has something to say about it.

"Don't say that." Jean whispers angrily. "People might get the wrong idea."

Connie pushes Jean away. "Get the wrong idea that you're staring at her?"

"Shut up."

"Oh, Jean." Connie grins at him, mockingly. "You had to go and crush on two of Eren's sisters?"

"Shut up. I'm warning you."

"Even if you manage to convince Eren, there's not enough miracles in the world for Mikasa to like you back." Connie says. "I have nothing to even say about Miss Lyanne. Humanity's Last Hope."

"Yeah, Connie." Jean sighs. "I know. Shut up." He shoves a mouthful of his food and chews. "Besides, I don't have a crush on Miss Lyanne. I'm just - I'm worried."

"Worried." Connie repeats the word like it's a joke. "Is that what they're calling it these days?"

Jean rolls his eyes. "I was the one she last talked to, okay? When we all thought she was dead. Also, she led us, a bunch of immature teenagers. It worked too... And…" because I don't think I can protect you. "And she cares ."

She cares. That's the thing. From that conversation they had in the kitchen, all Jean has taken from it is that Lyanne cared about him. She almost convinced him to leave the Survey Corps, and understood his… pain about Marco. He felt like he failed her once; ordered him to evacuate if he's done enough, fought titans until she was exhausted and Jean wanted to leave her; he's not about to do it again.

"I mean, even if she isn't Humanity's Last hope, she's still our superior." Connie reminds him, not as gently as Connie thinks he is. "She's also older than you. And more experienced. What would she want from a kid like you?"

Jean glares at him. If looks could kill, Jean would have murdered Connie, twice.

Sasha suddenly grabs Jean which makes Connie stumble backwards and yelps in surprise. "You like Miss Lyanne, too? I like her, too! She gave us sandwiches!"

"Sasha!" Connie exclaims, angrily.

"It's all about food to you, isn't it?" Jean asks.

"Sure." Sasha nods and ignores Connie who's glaring at her. "She's very nice. Also Miss Lia and Miss Blythe. The other day, they gave me bread to eat."

Jean ignores Sasha and Connie who are bickering besides him. He watches Lyanne again, everyone at the table this time. All of them are laughing. He remembers what Eren said, on how kind his sisters are. He wonders if he could ever enter their bubble. It seems so warm.

Lia is not in-charge of the dishes but she volunteers, anyway. Mike raises an eyebrow when Oluo grumbles that some brat threw me out of the kitchen.

"Sir Levi said I should wait for him in his office." She tells Mike, who nods at her, understanding. She asks him, "Would you like some tea?"

Mike shakes his head but pats hers before leaving.

Ymir and Krista are already starting cleaning the tables while Bertholdt is taking the trash out.

Somewhere inside the castle, Lyanne and Blythe are doing something together. She can imagine they're laughing and just… it's… nice. How it feels normal right now. Like, they aren't about to go outside the walls tomorrow. So, it's nice… nice, what a word. What a boring word to describe something so dangerous.

She folds her long sleeves up to her elbows and starts cleaning the dishes. Krista comes running beside her, obviously surprised a superior is doing the dishes.

"Let me do it, Miss Lia! Please!"

Lia chuckles. "No need to be nervous, Krista. I can help."

"But -"

"Let Miss Lia help." Ymir says as she gives Lia a cloth. "You should help us by drying."

Lia knows when she's already been cornered. She takes the cloth and goes to the other side of the sink. She watches as Krista and Ymir clean the plates and passes it to her. There's comfortable silence between the three of them. Ymir is the one who speaks up first.

"About tomorrow…" Ymir trails off. "Are we going to be okay?"

Lia looks at Ymir. She doesn't particularly look worried. Lia supposes it's not exactly about herself Ymir is asking it for. As if on cue, Krista warns, "Don't bother Miss Lia."

"No. It's fine." Lia shakes her off. "Yeah, Ymir. We'll be alright. We always do this kind expedition. It's just a plot for a new course from Karanes District and Shiganshina District." She says, like she's reading it from the official paper that Erwin had given them. "It's a monthly schedule."

"You can't blame me for wanting to know." Ymir replies.

"Ymir." Krista hisses. To Lia, she says, "I'm sorry for her behavior."

She chuckles softly. "Besides, if things go awry, Captain Levi would know what to do. If nothing else, I would protect you."

Ymir and Krista blink at her.

Ymir smiles. "You're really good , you know that, Miss Lia?"

Krista nods, approvingly. "She really is."

Lia shakes her head, giggling. She suddenly looks at the window when she remembers Levi is still not back. What time would he arrive? She probably needs to boil some hot water for his tea.

Lia reminds herself that as she dries another bunch of plates.

Sasha is no longer allowed to go to the third floor ever since Eld caught her stealing some food.

Sasha is not allowed. But Lyanne is. She takes at least two pieces of bread and one meat for good measure. Lia is still cleaning in the kitchen with Ymir and Krista. Something about Connie and Jean and the lavatory (she doesn't envy them one bit), Armin, Eren and Mikasa were told to clean the equipments and check the supplies they're going to bring tomorrow and Mike ordered Reiner and Sasha to 'keep her company' which basically means she's under surveillance. But that's just how Mike trains the newbies. From what Lyanne can tell with her limited interaction with him, and from what Lia has told her, there was a worse method and Lyanne doesn't want to know what it is, exactly.

"Miss Lyanne, are you done?" Reiner asks, softly.

"Yes." Lyanne answers as she walks out. She closes the door and makes Reiner hide the food she just took. They left Sasha and Blythe on the second floor. "Let's go."

"Are you not scared of getting caught?" Reiner asks as they walk down.

She shrugs. "Not really. Captain Midget is fond -" she says the word like it's poison. "- of my sister. If I get caught, I'll just use that excuse."

Reiner looks at awe, for a moment. "You call Captain Levi midget?"

Lyanne chuckles as she enters the girl's room. Sasha and Blythe are sitting on the floor.

"I - I can't go inside." Reiner hesitates.

Lyanne rolls her eyes. "Don't be a killjoy. Come on, get in." She pulls Reiner and closes the door. She throws the bread to Sasha and the meat to Blythe. "We have to cook that tomorrow." She watches as Sasha stops mid-chewing when she sees the meat. "And share with Sasha. Obviously."

"Obviously." Blythe repeats, chuckling. She takes out a piece of cloth and wraps the meat. "One of these days, Captain Levi will find you're stealing their supplies."

"Yeah." Lyanne nods as she sits on the floor, too. She taps the space next to her for Reiner. "That's the point."

"You don't like Captain Levi?" Reiner asks.

Lyanne narrows her eyes. "Not exactly, no."

"Don't," Blythe tells Reiner. "Enable her. If you make her start, she's not going to stop."

"It started when -"

"Don't, Lya. Nobody needs to know how much you want to piss him off."

Lyanne huffs. "They should. They should know how much I want to piss that midget off."

"Isn't he your superior?" Reiner's face is amused.

"Oh, my sweet, summer child. You don't even know half of it." Lyanne rolls her eyes.

Sasha burps. They all look at her. She's smiling. "Thank you for the food! Dinner was great but I was still hungry."

"Yeah." Blythe says. "We know. Next time, when Lyanne is not here, ask Lia."

"Considering our next food is boiled potatoes…" Lyanne sighs. "I'm not even Sasha and I feel upset." She looks at Reiner and asks, "How about you, Reiner? What are you not looking forward to tomorrow?"

He looks like a deer being caught. He blinks a few times and answers, softly. "Water?"

Blythe and Lyanne groan while Sasha is asking if they can cook the meat right now.

Lyanne helps Blythe to sit on her horse. After Blythe sits comfortably, Lia gives her a bag of what they ate during dinner.

"Petra said to give this to Moblit. They were apparently in the same camp when they were trainees."

Blythe looks interested, all of a sudden. "She has to give me the details later."

"She said you might say that." Lia chuckles. "Maybe after the expedition. We'll probably have downtime, then."

"Hopefully." Blythe breathes in and exhales slowly. "It's been a few tiring weeks."

"Yeah." Lyanne replies. "I'm also worried about the kids. We're on different teams tomorrow, aren't we?"

"Yes. But they'll be fine." Lia says confidently. "I am from Levi Squad. We got you."

They all giggle at what Lia said. Lyanne is about to say something about how she wants to spend time with Eren, Armin and Mikasa, when they hear a horse coming towards the castle. It's a little dark but when she squints her eyes, she realizes it's Levi.

She remembers the conversation Levi, Erwin and Hanji had after Blythe and Lia left.

"Why is Lia not on my team?" Levi asks, icily. "When it comes to skills, she's a bit better than Eld. Wouldn't it make sense for Lia to be on the same team as her sister?"

"Yeah, Erwin. Blythe, too. She's like my assistant, you know! She and Moblit are a team! You're about to give Moblit a nervous breakdown."

"That's exactly why I need them to spread. We are going outside the walls with amateur soldiers. With Lia's skills and Blythe's brains, the rest of them have a more fighting chance to survive."

Levi looks like he doesn't believe it one bit. "Is that the only reason, Erwin?"

"It's the only reason I will give you." Erwin answers.

Levi and Hanji both go quiet.

"It's an order." Erwin adds

Hanji sighs, frustrated.

"I will trust your judgement…" Levi replies. "Erwin."

Erwin looks at Lyanne, this time. "You may go now."

So that's what he wants her to hear: the reason why he planned on making Lia and Blythe to be in different locations tomorrow.

Lyanne has nothing to say.

She walks out the room, giving Erwin one last look.

Erwin doesn't look back.

Levi sees them but doesn't acknowledge their presence - well, Lyanne and Blythe's - because with Lia, he says, "My office."

"Yes, Sir."

He leaves after that.

"He always looks grumpy." Blythe comments. "Anyway, I should go. If he's back, Squad Leader Hanji is back and Moblit…" she shivers.

"Yes, just go." Lyanne says.

Blythe waves goodbye before leaving.

Lyanne and Lia go inside the castle but Lyanne walks down to the basement while Lia heads towards the kitchen.

"See you tomorrow, Lia~"

"You, too, Lyanne."

Lyanne hopes tomorrow won't take anything away from her.

Mikasa, Armin and Eren are in different groups, Blythe notes. So is Lia and I. Lyanne is with the Levi Squad.

From what Erwin had told them, this is just the same scheduled expedition every month. But the maps, the careful scattering of Lia and Blythe, surrounding Lyanne with the strongest squad of the Survey Corps… even if she's someone who believes Erwin, she won't believe this is just for the normal expedition.

It's not like she doesn't like Erwin; she respects him. One of the reasons why the Survey Corps has survived this far is because of Erwin's leadership but staying in the Survey doesn't necessarily mean she believes Erwin. There's a reason why Lyanne doesn't like him, and another reason why Blythe doesn't like to interact with the guy.

Before she can think about it more, the gate opens. Her eyes lock with Lia and then Lyanne.

Whatever Erwin has planned, she just has to make sure she's prepared for the worst.

Lia has known, when she walks out of the gate, something is going to happen.

It wasn't normal. All of it. Just with the fact Erwin is unusually quiet about the whole thing and Levi was more subdued than how he is, normally.

But she has no time to think about how this whole thing is a plan for something else. Three titans chase after the team she's in. They could fight it, sure, but wasting gas in a time like this isn't exactly ideal and there are no trees around. It's like the titans knew they were going to enter an open space.

"Scatter!" Kenn, the leader of the group, screams. "Run away for now! We can't fight!"

Lia grits her teeth, thinks that whatever Erwin has planned might need her in full potential. She nods at Kenn and starts her horse to run to another direction.

She successfully out-runs the titan that ended up following her. She's not exactly sure where she is, and even if she has a map to look at, she's way too off base on their original trail. She wonders what happened to the rest of her team and how Blythe and Lyanne are holding up. Shit . Even Mikasa, Eren and Ar -

"Lia!" A voice that sounds awfully a lot like Armin screams. "LIA! OVER HERE!"

Lia finds Armin with Jean and Reiner with their horses in full force. She blinks at them but follows their direction, anyway.

"What's going on?" She asks.

"We don't have time to explain, Lia!" Armin exclaims. "Just put the hood of your cape on your head for now!"

She doesn't think twice, she puts the hood on her head. It just starts making sense to her when she realizes they are chasing the Female Titan. She wants to ask what exactly is the plan, but if Armin says they don't have time to explain, then they don't have time to explain.

"Everyone, spread out!" Armin orders. Reiner and Jean start leaving their original positions, she's about to do the same when Jean gives her a look.

"Miss Lyanne would do something reckless like this, right?" Jean asks her as he prepares to do something.

She doesn't have time to answer, however, as Jean stands up and aims his gear towards the ankle of the Female Titan. He successfully traps its ankle, the titan slips down a bit but recovers as it's about to almost hit Jean but doesn't. She leans forward, instead, and by her hand, attacks Armin. He gets thrown out of his horse and crashes to the ground with a fall.

Lia grits her teeth and is about to attack when she hears another footstep at the back. Another titan, an abnormal at that.

"Damn it!" She hisses. The one behind them runs too fast. Even if they do end up killing the Female Titan, they'll die right after. She has no choice but to turn her horse around and face the titan head-on. She just hopes Jean and Reiner can hold on until she's done. She stands up a bit, activates her gear and hits the titan by the ankle first. It's too fast and it's a little bit tricky, but Levi always told her, if you have to attack when you're on the ground, make sure to hit the ankles first . She slices the ankles and activates her gear once again and this time, it settles on the titan's back. She flies and readies her blade to slice up the neck. That's when she hears, Armin's voice as loud as it can,

"JEAN! AVENGE MY RECKLESS SISTER WHO RUSHED TO HER DEATH!"

Lia slips a bit, hisses in pain but she safely lands down as the dead titan crashes to the ground.

"What the fuck is he talking about?" Lia murmurs in disbelief.

"THAT'S THE ONE THAT KILLED HER! SHE RUSHED TO HER DEATH IN THE RIGHT FLANK! AVENGE HER!"

Armin is talking shit, Lia thinks, in the midst of chaos. He's doing this… to confuse the Female Titan?

"IT CRUSHED MY SISTER! I SAW HER BODY CRUSHED UNDER ITS FOOT!"

Reiner suddenly comes flying. For a moment, it looks like he's about to succeed but the Female Titan just wraps its hand around Reiner like he's nothing, like he's a bug and slowly crashes him.

She runs towards the chaos, readying her gear but when she's about to attack, Reiner comes out the titan's hand and carries Armin away.

The Female Titan starts running away, like it's ass is on fire. When Lia reaches Armin and Reiner, Armin's face is covered in blood. She's about to call for Jean so they could go somewhere safer when Armin grabs her hands and says in panic, "IT'S ABOUT TO GO TO LYANNE!"

"What…?"

"THAT'S THE DIRECTION OF LYANNE'S LOCATION!"

Lia closes her eyes and curses.

The only way for Armin to calm down is to tell him that Lyanne is currently with the Levi Squad, and that she's currently under the protection of Humanity's Strongest Soldier.

And Lyanne is strong on her own, she reminded Armin. She'll be okay.

It's what she said. But deep inside her is a mirage of emotions. Anger. Anxiety. And her deep need to follow the Female Titan to make sure she doesn't touch even a single hair on Lyanne's head, but she has to believe in her own squad. She has to believe in Captain Levi. If nothing else, she has that.

She starts patching up Armin, while Reiner and Jean start calling for some horses. Lia's horse is still here, so is Reiner's. Armin's horse is injured so they decided to leave the horse here. Hopefully, it survives on its own meanwhile Jean's horse ran away. They could share one of the horses but that would be a risk considering abnormal titans are everywhere.

"My team… some of them died." Armin tells her. "Because of the Female Titan… two stayed but…"

"Shh." Lia says softly. "Your head is injured. Don't stress yourself."

Armin breathes in to relax. And then, "How about you, Lee? What happened to your team?"

"We scattered." She wraps the bandage one last time and she's finished. "There were three titans and we couldn't fight it. I like to believe my team survived somewhere."

Armin looks at her like he has something to say. He hesitates on it for a while until he says, "I will tell you later."

She nods in understanding and kisses his forehead, gently. "Okay."

"We have to travel like this." Reiner says. "We might not have a choice. Jean's horse is not coming back."

"We can't." Lia insists. "Two of you are already injured -"

"- I don't feel like it -" Reiner counters that he doesn't continue when Lia glares at him.

"- and we're in open space. If an abnormal attacks us, I don't think we'll survive it. If it's just one, we might. But what if there's another? We don't have a choice but to run. But the horse can only run so much with the weight it's carrying. We stay here until a horse comes back or we hide somewhere safe." Suddenly, she sees blond hair coming towards them. With two horses. She smiles. "Well, looks like the answer is right here."

It's Krista, and she greets Lia with a smile until she remembers where they are. "Are you all okay?"

"Yes." Lia answers. "You seem to find Jean's horse."

"Yes. It was actually wondering on its own. I thought if I look around, I'll find someone who might need it."

"We do." Lia smiles. "Everyone, get in position. We're about to go."

Lia is too busy jumping and riding her horse that she missed whatever conversation the kids had that made them look at Krista like she's a goddess. She wants to laugh despite herself. She clears her throat. "If we follow the formation, we could probably reach the forest in no time." Lia announces.

That seems to be the signal as the horses start running.

Lia hopes she's not too late.

When they reach the outskirts of the forest, Armin doesn't know what he was expecting. But it certainly isn't an order from a soldier, Lia, go on ahead. Commander Erwin is waiting for you. Blythe, you're in-charge.

Blythe just does as she's told. But she doesn't particularly look like she agrees to the order. Before, Armin wanted to ask her sisters, is this what you really want? when they joined the Survey Corps. He knew they didn't decide to join until Eren did. They had to make a name for themselves while they're at it to protect the three of them, their children, when they graduate and join them, eventually.

Do you believe in Commander Erwin's vision? he wants to ask. Is the reason why you're still here is because you believe this is how we will achieve freedom?

But he doesn't.

"Is this for real?" Jean's voice is annoyed and makes Arnin turn his head towards him. "Abandoning the original plan to build a base of operations… and then instead of making sure Humanity's Last Hope is safe, we take a leisurely side trip on this tourist spot."

Armin doesn't say anything. He just listens.

"On top of that, we're ordered to dismount, draw back our swords, stand around and stop any titans that come into the forest…" Jean looks at Blythe. "He does give screwy orders, doesn't he?"

"Jean." Armin says.

"And we don't even get a decent explanation. He really can't expect us to be as calm as he wants us to be." Jean continues.

"What are you going to do?" Armin asks.

Jean leans his head back to glance at Armin. He answers, "Don't listen to me. I'm just pissed, is all. As should you because it's obvious whatever it is they have planned, your sister is the center of it." A pause. "But I'm just going to stay here, follow orders and keep the titans out of the forest. That's… what you think we should do, right, Armin?"

Armin looks down and refuses to look at Jean in the eye.

"That knowing look on your face…" Jean comments.

Armin doesn't have time to explain himself because a titan suddenly climbs the tree and tries to catch them.

"ARMIN, JEAN, MOVE!" Blythe orders as they activate their gear.

"This bastard… it learned way too quickly…"

Armin just wanted to glance at Blythe to make sure she's safe but when Jean says that, her face distorted but it's gone in a second.

He wonders what's that about.

They manage to deflect the titan and land on a safer tree. Armin can hear the sound of the cannon being fired.

"Hey, Armin…" Jean calls. "I think I know exactly why we're here… we lured the Female Titan here so we could capture it. That's why there are only a few people who knew about this preparation…" Jean hesitates. "But then, does that mean there are humans in our rank who are trying to destroy the wall?"

Armin clenches his fist. "Yes. I think so. Commander Erwin was certain of that." He feels Jean and Blythe's eyes on him. "Lyanne's existence suggests that humans may be controlling the titans. So, if we assume the titans who are destroying the walls are human, the first thing we should do is identify and capture them to prevent further damage." Armin looks back at Blythe. "If we could capture them, we might gain the truth that the Survey Corps has longed to know."

An unmistakable sound of a titan roar rings in their ears.

Blythe looks away first.

"Those sounds… that titan got captured, isn't it? With… Lyanne as bait…" Jean mutters. "But how is the Commander so sure that the titan will come out after Lyanne comes out the wall?"

"I think it's because their latest attack didn't completely destroy the wall. If we're going by how they did their previous endeavor, then they should have destroyed the inner gate of Walls Rose. But they stopped for a reason. Because it means something got their attention more." Armin thinks of how Lyanne was eaten by a titan, and how she held up her hand and Armin did nothing to save her. "Something else happened at that time… that was more important than destroying the wall… and the only thing that happened at that time was…"

"...Lyanne transformed as a titan." Blythe finishes.

Jean looks between Armin and Blythe, with a shocked look on his face. "Are you saying… one of the people who saw Lyanne transformed is a… traitor?"

Armin watches Blythe close her eyes. So, she knew, Armin thinks.

"One of the people… who were watching…" Jean finishes. "But I still don't get it. Shouldn't at least some of the soldiers knew about this operation if they knew about the titan -"

"No." Blythe cuts Jean off.

"Commander Erwin is right." Armin says, firm, certain. Determined.

"What do you mean he's right? How many people do you think died for this? If one thing went wrong, even Lyanne might be in danger. Not even just her. Blythe. Lia."

"Anybody can make a choice after finding the results. It's easy to say, they should have done this. But we can't know the result unless we decide. In this operation, we could know the identity of the titan. How many are they? What can they do? What do they want? What do they know? It seems cruel but…" Armin breathes in. "We have to make a choice to get results. Even if it means he has to endanger his own people. He chose between the lives of one hundred of us, and those of humanity behind the walls, and he chose to write off those hundred of lives."

"Which begs the question…" Blythe says. This is the first time he's seeing Blythe like this, with an aura of indifference. She has always been like the sun. The one who hums tunes none of them know, who smiles at Eren, who pats Armin's head and teaches Mikasa how to knit. Blythe has always been warm . Seeing her so cold… Armin wonders what she has seen without them for her to act so coldly like this. "Does the end justify the means?"

But before Armin can ask what she was talking about, a scream so loud each and everyone of them hears.

Blythe's indifference expression changes into anger. "Shit!"

Armin doesn't realize why until he sees the titans enter the forest.

The roar is a call.

Chapter 13: Choices and Consequences

Notes:

i wish there were words i can say to isayama but fuck you would suffice? :)

Chapter Text

Lia rarely talks to Erwin. She sees him, a lot, yes. Levi seems to be in a steady meeting with him; three times a week, five, if there's an expedition. Levi always orders Lia to come and Lia has never seen a reason to refuse so around those times, Lia will see a glimpse of Erwin. He's always been dignified, confident, with the right amount of authority. She doesn't question his leadership, she never has a chance to. Levi has always been her superior and what he says goes.

But sometimes, she does wonder… if Levi was following the right man.

She finds Erwin and Levi in one the branches as they talk - or argue - steals a glance at the Female Titan that's already trapped.

So, this is the plan… Lia thinks. She figured this is what Erwin was scheming since she pursued it with Armin, Jean and Reiner. She finds herself not surprised with the confirmation. Erwin has always been full of surprises. If it's a good surprise or a bad one, is still left to be judged.

Lia lands to the branch near her superiors and salutes.

"At ease." Erwin says.

Levi gives Erwin a look of something Lia can't identify. He has this look on his face that he's about to say something distasteful.

Lia never has a chance to hear it when she hears a roaring sound coming from the Female Titan. Everybody activates their gear and prepares for the worst. She squints her eyes when she hears distant footsteps, coming from outside the forest and slowly widens when she sees it's a surge of titans. She realizes a bit too late that the point of the Female Titan's riders is not to eat them but the Female Titan itself. There is something disturbing and unsettling about a titan willingly getting eaten by its own kind.

"Lia," Levi calls as he activates his gear. Lia activates hers too and follows Levi when he flies over to where the titans are. " WITH ME!"

For years, the member in Levi Squad she spent most of her time with is Captain Levi himself. When she first came in as a new recruit, he made her follow him everywhere . Something about preparing her for the worst . And there are. The general public has always been critical of their every move, Military Police breathing down their necks. When time passes, maybe Levi thought she proved herself useful, Levi has become less strict with her and he started giving her pieces of advice wrapped in an insult, joking around her with poop jokes, teaching her how to fight a titan. And for years, the number of her assists, most of those has been with Captain Levi.

So, it's not surprising to her on how well coordinated they are. If this was a normal expedition, it might have been a success.

But it's not. Every titan they've killed becomes useless when another comes as a replacement. If this continues, they'll be wasting their gas and energy.

"Lia, retreat!" Levi exclaims and Lia follows his command.

Levi lands near the Commander while Lia lands next to the branch besides them.

"Did you see it, Erwin?" Levi asks.

Erwin replies nothing but stares at the titans that start looking like a mountain as they stuck themselves to eat the Female Titan.

"It's useless." Levi brutally admits. Lia is not sure if he meant the titans they've killed just now or the actual plan Erwin had. "After all my bluster in front of the council, this is what happened. Heavy losses and nothing useful gained. What will happen to us and Lia's sister when we stroll back through the gate?"

"We'll think about that when we get home. For now, let's think of how to evacuate without further casualties…" he trails off. And something about the change in the glint of his eyes unsettles something in Lia's guts. "At least, for now."

"If that's the case, then I'll call my squad over." Levi says. "I hope they haven't gone too far. Lia -"

"Leave Lia with me." Erwin doesn't hesitate as he tells them. "And Levi, replenish your gas and blades."

"There's no time and I have plenty. Lia has nothing to do more here and would be a help to call the squad…" Levi meets Erwin's eyes. "So, why?"

Erwin doesn't falter, however. "It's an order. Follow it." He turns his head towards Lia. "We have to go now." He tells her.

Lia looks at Levi, and opens her mouth, for something, anything that she can speak of but no words come out. She closes her mouth with a snap and ends up following Erwin without saying a word to Levi. When she turns her head, she finds Levi gazing at her. She wonders if she should have said at least a goodbye.

She doesn't stop following Erwin until they land where Hanji and a bunch of other soldiers are.

"This is all?" Erwin asks Hanji.

"Yes."

"Then, let's go." Erwin orders.

Hanji gives Lia an assuring smile but she doesn't feel a little assured. It's been bugging her for a while but Erwin has something more in his sleeves than what Lia is capable of finding out. At this point, it could be anything .

They ride their horses and follow Erwin's lead.

"I had a feeling we would confront the enemy this time," Erwin says. "But with our best strategy countered, we have absolutely no chance of beating the enemy. We must be prepared to lose everything and fight! I will take any risk necessary! And if we don't fight…" Erwin trails off and Lia feels her spine goes cold. "Humanity can't win."

Lia doesn't know who Erwin Smith is. This is one of the times that proves that she has no understanding of the person Levi followed. And people like her, always have a fear of the unknown.

There are so many disgusting things Lyanne has seen in her life, being part of the Survey Corps, that's kind of part of the job. It managed to make her stomach a steel of sorts, when it comes to what she's capable of seeing and not feel like vomiting what she ate last week.

But seeing Gunther being thrown like a rag doll against a tree makes her want to rip her own intestines out. She's about to fly over where Gunther is, thinking of the ways she can lift the man up and run when somebody grabs her by the hood and pulls her away.

It's Oluo. " Don't! We have no time! We can't stop!"

"What?" She growls. "Are you kidding me?! Gunther is -"

"Down!" Oluo answers with a scream. "WE CAN'T STOP FOR HIM! GO!"

Lyanne thinks of Gunther, the one Lia said helped clean the basement with her. She tries to remember what he looks like.

Her thoughts get cut when Petra screams, " WHO ARE YOU ?!" This is the first time Lyanne has seen Petra panic. She's always been calm and collected.

"OLUO! PROTECT LYANNE!" Eld orders.

"What about Gunther?!" Lyanne asks, angrily. "We left him there!"

"We don't have a choice!" Oluo exclaims. "Eld, where do we go?"

"We don't have time to get our horses! Head to command at full speed! Or to any friendly forces!"

From a distance, they see another group of titans and one in particular looks familiar. Every hair that Lyanne has on her body stands up. Fuck . Why is it here…?

"IS THAT THE FEMALE TITAN'S 'RIDERS'? OR ARE THERE MORE OF THEM?"

"HOW DARE YOU?! COME ON! AT THE VERY LEAST, WE'LL GO DOWN TOGETHER!"

Lyanne frowns as she watches the Female Titan chase after them. There's evidence right in front of her but she still can't believe it. She saw it get captured.

There are so many thoughts swimming inside her head right now but one of the questions she focuses on is: how am I going to explain this to Lia? They already left Gunther there, and she's not sure if he's dead or alive. If anything more happened to these people, whatever grief Blythe may have inside her when Carla died, will double for Lia if all of these people get killed here. She doesn't think she can look in Lia's eyes when that happens.

I just have to… she looks at her hand and places it between her mouth. But Oluo is faster as he grabs Lyanne's hand.

"What are you doing?" Oluo asks angrily. "You can't !"

Lyanne scowls. "If I don't do it, our chances of survival -"

"THE THREE OF US WILL FIGHT THE TITAN! YOU KEEP GOING FULL SPEED AHEAD TO COMMANDER!" Eld orders. "If anything happens to you, Lia will be devastated!"

"And like Lia won't if you did?" Lyanne spats.

"Don't doubt our abilities!" Oluo sneers at her. "We are the one fighting alongside your sister all these years!"

"If you can't believe us, at least believe in Lia!" Petra adds.

"GO!" Eld orders once more.

With gritted teeth, she turns away and moves forward. As much as she hates to admit it, Oluo is right. They have been the one fighting alongside Lia, for years now. And hasn't Lia always come home, whole and alive? Hasn't that been what Lia is always proud of? The squad that's under Captain Levi, the strongest one in the Survey Corps. Lia has always been excited to tell them her adventures she had with the squad, on how Gunther said something bad and Eld had to slap the back of his head. How worrying it is when Oluo bites his tongue very frequently or how Petra's cooking gets scarier in each passing day? These people have always been like a story to Lyanne, a myth. At times, Lyanne has been jealous. These are the people who know a side of Lia that she hasn't seen or met. Same goes with Blythe and Hanji's squad. She always feels like they're going places, and Lyanne is stuck to watch them go.

But as she watches them fight the Female Titan, overwhelming its every move, she can see why Lia would like them. Maybe, this is what Lia is seeing when she's with them. And right now, these people are not just a story for her. These are the people with a desire on their own, and it will be disrespectful if she backs down from her word.

Lyanne is not sure if this is the right to do or if there's even any other choice but she'll believe that they'll survive.

She's going to keep moving forward.

For a moment, things have been going well. Believe her, it is .

The Female Titan chases them. Lyanne is kind of in awe of how fast it is running and dreads the possibility of it catching up to them. Suddenly, two reinforcements come from behind and start attacking the Female Titan.

"Captain, orders?!" Petra exclaims. "We could help!"

Eld prepares his gear. "I'm going to chop it into pieces!"

Lyanne tries to imagine if the Levi Squad starts fighting the Female Titan right here. She wonders if they're going to survive. It is a well-known fact they're the strongest squad the Survey Corps has.

"Captain?! Give us your orders!"

"Everyone," Levi takes a sound grenade. "Cover your ears." He pulls the trigger and it makes a sound of a heavy explosion.

The sound is still ringing in her ears but Levi doesn't waste time as he says, "What's your job? To give in to whatever you happen to feel? I don't think so. No… remember this squad's mission… is to keep Lia's sister from getting as much as a scratch." He pauses. "Or die trying." He meets Lyanne's eyes. "But you know that, don't you, Lyanne?"

He's not asking her or accusing her of anything. It's a fact.

Levi goes back to his original position and orders, "We'll depend on the horses from now on, you got that?"

How far? Lyanne wants to ask as she hears the reinforcement fighting on their own. How fucking far?

She turns her head around and sees the Female Titan swinging its arms and the soldiers are flying around but it has no effect on the Titan.

"Lyanne!" Gunther exclaims. "Don't fucking watch! Face forward!"

"Don't tell me what to do!"

Before she looks away, she sees the Titan catching one of the soldiers by its hand and slapping him against the tree. The bones crushing can be heard around them, like an echo.

She hastily turns her head back and faces forward. She doesn't know if what she feels at the pit of her stomach is fear or anger.

"Captain Midget," She calls and she hears someone gasping in the background. "Are you sure we can't do anything? There's still one fighting at the back. If we do something now, we might save him."

"Didn't you hear what Captain Levi said? We won't engage the Titan to a fight! We will keep going!" Petra tells her.

"I know. But I just - is this what we're really going to do?" Lyanne hisses. "Leave a comrade behind when we can do something about it?"

Lyanne watches as the Female Titan grabs Eld and crashes him by its hand. The blood splatters everywhere.

"It's what the Captain has decided! Lia would have told you to follow him by now if she's here! If you get it, shut up and listen!" Oluo exclaims.

It doesn't stop there. It throws Eld down to the ground and steps on him, like a cockroach. Lyanne can only imagine what he looks like right now.

The one soldier is still fighting… all alone. She can vividly imagine what's going to happen to him; if his comrade is anything to go by. Is it by the crash of the hand of the Titan, or by biting half of his body? The possibility is endless.

She stares at her hand and imagines if she transforms right now, what will happen?

"You're not going to do it, are you, Lyanne?" Petra asks, her voice wavering. "You told us you'll only use that if your life is in danger."

Oluo gets trapped by the Titan's mouth and it bites his body and the Titan spits him out, and the only part of him Lyanne is seeing is the upper part of his body.

"Erwin has told you his plan." Levi says. "Not the whole scheme. Just a part, but still, he told you."

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me."

"What's the point of you telling me that?" She asks, frowning.

"Even before, Erwin has believed in you. I don't know why. You don't obey him anyway."

"Believe is not the word I would use." Lyanne deadpans. It's hard to believe that Erwin has believed in anything except himself.

"You've always been a beast that Erwin tried to put on a leash and those are times when he didn't even know about your titan powers. No matter how much Erwin tries, however, you still held the same belief, the same ideals, the same love you have for your sisters."

Lyanne doesn't reply. She has nothing to say, anyway.

"In that regard, especially now, we are an equal. I may have started in the Survey Corps earlier than you but I trust your judgement. So, you are free to choose to believe in us, and by extension, Lia, or to believe in yourself. I don't know the answer and I don't know if this is even a part of Erwin's plans but that doesn't matter because the result depends on whatever you choose will still come out." He pauses. "So, choose a decision you would regret less."

Lyanne looks back at the soldier and breathes in.

Petra is dead.

She's on the ground with her eyes wide open. Her organs are scattered everywhere, with blood all over her body.

"Believe in us." Petra tells her. "If nothing else, believe in Lia who believes in us."

And like Lyanne said before, believe is not the word she would use.

Lyanne turns back around and flies towards the Female Titan. She lands on a higher branch so she doesn't have to worry for the Titan to see her.

But they'll be fine, Lia had said. I am from Levi Squad. We got you .

"I'm sorry…" Lyanne murmurs. "Lia, I'm sorry…

She puts her hand between her teeth and bites .

What was the right decision? Lyanne asks herself as her skin rips apart and her bones crash. What is wrong to believe in my comrades? Was I wrong, even from the very beginning?

If I made the choice to save the reinforcement from the start, would it have been different, then?

Blythe lands in front of her and Eren and breathes a sigh. She doesn't look well.

"Are you okay, Bly? You look pale." Eren asks.

"I'm fine. I've just been going around to check on the trainees. I think that's why I got dizzy." She pauses. "That, and considering our situation. None of you are injured, right?"

"No, Mikasa and I are fine." Eren answers. "Have you seen Armin?"

"He's with Jean. I was with them a couple of minutes ago."

Nothing is wrong with Blythe and she looks exactly the same except that she looks sick but… there's something. Something different about her. Mikasa can't pinpoint what exactly it is.

"Are you really okay?" Mikasa asks.

Blythe offers a small, forced smile. "I am. Why wouldn't I be?"

One of the things Mikasa can't stand is when her oldest sisters pretend they're okay even if they're not. At least now, she can see when they're lying. It was a different time when they were trainees and her sisters were not allowed to interact with them. Seeing them from a distance when they don't look well had always made Mikasa upset.

But she can't make Blythe tell her if she doesn't want to.

"If you need anything, tell me." Mikasa gently reminds her.

Blythe pats her head. "Thanks."

Eren is about to say something when they hear a roar .

A different roar from what they heard a while ago. This time, it's familiar. This time, Mikasa knows exactly who it is from.

It's Lyanne, in her titan form.

She would know. Lyanne saved her, twice with that form. Mikasa made sure to remember everything about that day just so she won't forget Lyanne, as a human and as a titan.

She doesn't think , her body reacts first. She activates her gear and enters the forest. She's pretty sure Blythe is yelling at her to come back but Eren is there, they could take care of each other but right now, Lyanne needs her. Like the way Mikasa needed her when she was the one who was helpless.

Mikasa sees the Female Titan before she sees Lyanne. Her eyes widen and her mouth opens wide when she watches the Titan put Lyanne, unconscious, sleeping , on its mouth and swallows.

Mikasa grits her teeth and growls. "BRING LYANNE BACK!" She activates her gear and like a madman, starts attacking the Titan without stopping. It protects its nape but it doesn't matter. She needs Lyanne back.

"BRING HER BACK!" She exclaims. She slices the hand that is used to protect the nape but her blade doesn't go through. She lands on the nearby tree branch and breathes heavily. "Damn it…" she stares at its mouth. "I KNOW SHE'S ALIVE!"

To fight is to live.

She replenishes her blade, and pulls it out as gently as she can. "I know Lyanne is alive. I know it." To fight is to live. "She would be fighting, just like me. No matter what, I'll kill you -" she sneers to the Titan. "- slice your body and take Lyanne out of that filthy place!"

We have to fight, to live.

"I'm sorry, Lyanne…" Mikasa knows she'll hear the vibration of Lyanne's heartbeat if she's out of the Titan's body. She has to hear it to make sure she's alive. That's the only way for Mikasa to calm down. "Just wait a little longer!"

She gears herself up to attack and almost does when someone wraps their arm around her waist. When she looks at who it is, it's Captain Levi.

"I'm with you," he says. "But back off for now."

What is Lia's superior doing here? Where's Lia, then?

Eren feels Blythe's arms around him, wrapping him up like an embrace. But he knows better. She's just stopping him from leaving. Mikasa is already there, helping Lyanne. He can't just stay here and do nothing. He has to fight, too.

"BLYTHE! LET ME GO! I NEED TO HELP MIKASA!"

"MIKASA SHOULDN'T EVEN BE THERE!" Blythe hisses in his ear. From out of three of his sisters, Lyanne has always been the one better at hand to hand combat. But it doesn't mean Blythe doesn't but in a matter of a second, she manages to force Eren to kneel down and bend.

"Blythe -"

"Listen to me, if anything happens to you kids, Lyanne would be angry . Lia would be angry. I would be angry , too. I am angry now." She explains. "I know you want to help and that you love Lyanne and you want to save her but this is different from when you were just kids and you wanted to help in the laundry. This is your life." Blythe's voice cracks. "How do you think I can face Carla if she asks me one day what happened to her son?"

Eren hesitates. He hasn't told Blythe this - nor Lia and Lyanne - only Mikasa and Armin know because they heard it, too.

End it , his mother had said.

For a long time, Eren imagined what kind of burden Blythe had to carry when he didn't get to do it and his mother had to die in a more brutal way. Does Blythe blame herself? Does she carry so much guilt, she couldn't sleep?

"I'm sorry, Blythe…" Eren says.

Blythe wraps her arms around Eren and hugs him. It's warm. "It's okay. Just don't do it again. Besides, I'm sure Captain Levi is with Lyanne."

As if on cue, the said Captain Levi actually is with Lyanne. Unconscious, bloodied Lyanne. And Levi is not any better. He also looks like he just took a bath and instead of water, he used blood instead. Mikasa is the only one clean but she's touching Lyanne and the blood is all over her hands.

"We need to go!" Levi barks. "Now!"

"LYANNE! WHAT HAPPENED TO HER?!" Armin exclaims. Levi is carrying Lyanne like a sack of potatoes outside the forest.

And Jean…

Jean can't breathe.

What is it he said to himself? That he would be there for her ? What is this, then? Lyanne is covered in blood and he doesn't know what's the cause. Is she injured? Is she just unconscious? What happened to her?

Jean's breathing becomes erratic.

It's like Marco … he thinks as he closes his eyes. Bloody. And only half of his body has survived.

Armin flies down to follow Captain Levi and Jean follows suit. He runs, runs, runs, even if his chest becomes too constrict. He has no time to think about himself.

Humanity's Last Hope needs him.

Or he needs her . He needs to know that she's okay. That Lyanne won't be like Marco.

Chapter 14: Crushing Blows

Notes:

TELL ISAYAMA TO COME FIGHT ME RIGHT NOW ITS ON SIGHT!

or its probably just me who is the problem lmaoopo why did i put all of the depressing shit in one chapter

and to all - someone called it in the comments - levilia stans who want the angst. here u go bb girl ;)

Chapter Text

Armin feels the devastation in the air. Like, it's the way they don't look at each other because they're afraid of what they'll see, the way they breathe, the way some people want to hide their entire face because of the tears, the snot, the anger or the sadness in their eyes.

He can relate to their sentiments, he does feel the same way, too. He tries to look at Blythe or Lia but he's scared that he might not see what he used to see when he was a kid.

Blythe felt a little too different from what Armin remembered her. He knows time passes and there are a lot of things that could happen to a person, that's normal. But Blythe isn't just some person for him. She's the one who cooked for him, slept next to him when he had a nightmare, who taught him how to read, who smiled at him, who was there when he needed someone to be there. Lia isn't any better - when the soldiers came back with the dead bodies and Levi's Squad were four of those, she had a stoic expression on her face. She didn't say a word. She just looked like she wasn't completely there.

Also Lyanne… is still unconscious. He wanted to join Mikasa to guard her but she said he's still injured himself and might not be able to help. Jean offered to stay with Mikasa and help her to guard Lyanne. Armin wondered if Jean was doing him a favor or Jean was doing it for himself.

It's quiet , Armin thinks. He soaks in it, and knows deep in his heart that this expedition is an utter failure.

Mikasa brushes Lyanne's hair and then fixes Lyanne's blanket. She continues staring at her and Jean breathes out heavily.

"What happened back there?" Jean asks.

Mikasa gives him a look and it does nothing to Jean's insides. "It's a long story."

Jean clenches his fist and opens it wide. He's been trying not to grab Lyanne's blanket to hold her hand but the desire to do so just intensifies. It's strange... how that happened. How his breathing only became normal when Captain Levi told them that Lyanne is alive, just unconscious. He remembers Connie patting his back and having a look of understanding on his face. How Armin nodded when Jean said he'll help Mikasa to guard Lyanne, like he knows . And maybe, they do, Connie and Armin, how Jean needs to be near her.

I failed her , Jean closes his eyes and swallows the lump in his throat. I failed her again.

"She'll be fine, right?" Jean asks.

Mikasa doesn't answer but he can feel her eyes on him. And if it was the Jean from before, the one who hasn't met Lyanne, this might go differently.

But Jean now met the person who he owed his life to and who cares about him. Mikasa looking at him doesn't give the same excitement. Now, he just feels like a wreck.

Connie would be so smug to know he's right , he thinks. But knowing Connie, he'd probably just look at Jean with pity.

Lia looks at the cart Lyanne is lying in, she can't really see her but it's enough to see Mikasa and Jean looking after her. She was the one who cleaned the blood of her body so Lia knows she's alive at least… just… not awake. She clenches her fist. It was close. A close, close situation where Lyanne could have died. The world already took four of the people she cared about, if they took one of her sisters, she wouldn't stop killing all of the titans she can get her hands on.

As if on cue, heavy footsteps can be heard. She feels a chill because she knows exactly what's chasing after them; her breathing becomes erratic when she exhales. She looks back and sees - titans. Quite a few of them. No surprises there. She watches as one of them catches one of the living soldiers and chews him alive. A few minutes more and the titans will catch up to the rest. Her eyes glaze over a cart. Lia thinks of a horrifying solution so the titans won't eat the rest of them alive.

And that's when Levi comes to the side of the cart and tells the soldiers guarding the dead . "Just abandon the bodies." He says, with the same voice he uses to ask her for some tea. "They'll reach us."

"B-but…"

"In the past, many bodies haven't made it back. These guys aren't anything special."

Lia bites her lips so hard, she tastes copper. She knows her captain is just saying that. His squad is like family, a little broken people who'd gotten closer together. This hurt him more than Lia ever will. He was with them, first .

"A-are we really doing this?"

Lia catches Levi staring at one of the bodies, and turns his head back. He clutches his injured leg. " Damn it."

The soldiers start dumping the bodies. Four of those are Gunther, Eld, Oluo and Petra. Her squad. The people she shared her time, years, and feelings with.

One body is thrown away -

- Gunther who helped her clean the basement

And again -

- Oluo who took the burnt of Captain Levi when she needed a time to spend with her sisters and kids -

- and another -

- Eld who gives her extra fruits he bought in the market with his money -

And another one -

- Petra who's like a big sister to her, who trusted Lia with her secrets -

Lia growls as she takes out her blades. She looks back to glare at the titans. It took them already. It took them their lives, their future. Why does she have to give away their bodies, as well?

For how long does she have to give before it's enough ?

"Lia," Levi warns. She looks at him and his eyes… she hasn't seen this one before. " Don't ."

Lia doesn't look away, she faces him, head on. He's her Captain, the one she chose to lead her. She follows him, without question. Her unwavering loyalty to the Survey Corps doesn't lie with Erwin but to him , Levi.

Except for this one.

"Just once, Sir." She says. She turns her horse back around. Let me disobey you, just this once.

" Lia!"

She grits her teeth as she leads her horse towards the titans. She positions herself to stand a bit and activates her gear. It lands on the titan's chest. She flies over and twists her body so she would land behind and slices the neck. She activates her gear again. This time, it's to the next titan's head but before she could fly, the titan's hand traps her body. She screams in pain but nothing is broken, yet . She hurts the titan's hand enough with her blade for it to open its hand, she activates her gear and she flies to the head to stick her blade to one of its eyes, she flies up to the neck and slices. She's about to lose gas. Before the titan's body crashes down, she activates her gear to the cart with two dead bodies left, she flies over there only to crash.

She groans in pain but has no time to think about herself as she sits up, frantically, and takes off the blankets in the dead bodies' faces.

Petra and Oluo .

She breathes in relief, shallow. Her shaking hands touch their faces, they're cold . They're dead.

She grabs Petra's body and keeps Oluo's close. She feels her tears falling, and bites her bottom lip as she rocks them as she cries, wretched. Something that she feels deep inside her chest.

What do you know? Maybe the world pities her, after all.

Levi can't keep his eyes away from Lia. She's fighting the titans on her own. He doesn't blame her. If he could, he would do the same. But Levi didn't want to compromise the last living person of his subordinates just because of the dead ones. He knows Petra, Eld, Oluo and Gunther would say the same.

Levi is frozen as Lia is trapped in the hands of a titan. There's a terrifying feeling of helplessness that he felt only once before in his life. When Isabel and Farlan died, he saw Isabel's eyes looking at him. She was only a severed head, then. Thankfully, Lia frees herself and manages to land in the cart with the dead bodies. He watches as she frantically takes the blankets out of the way and her eyes seem relieved. He sees her hugging what seems to be Petra's body before he looks away.

Levi has done everything in his power to protect Lia from all of these. When Levi met her, she was nothing but a kid with an innocent glint in her eyes. She got lucky with the titans she killed before to help some kids. Erwin had told him about her; young, some kids said she was their hero, doesn't she remind you of someone, Levi? Levi knew, then, that Lia would join the Survey Corps. He took her in because he wanted to know how far she could go, before she dies or gives up. None of it happened. Levi did feel, however, that she might vanish, one day. Sometimes, she looks away for far too long, Levi feels like she isn't present half the time.

Levi worries that if he looks back to check on her, Lia isn't there .

But he guesses, a thank-you is in order. They at least have two of the four bodies of his squad.

Levi wants to drink some tea and the one Lia brought in the kettle is finished. Lia… she's been here for two weeks and her tea… is horrendous, Levi is putting it kindly. She doesn't know how to make tea. Levi suspects it's because the tea leaves Lia and her sisters are using are those that anyone could just put in boiling water and it's done.

He goes to the kitchen and hears several voices inside.

"I didn't realize the taste of the tea I make tastes like this…" Lia. Levi is sure.

"It's okay. I just can't imagine Captain is still drinking it. You said he never complains?" This time, it's Eld.

"No. He doesn't."

"You've been doing his tea for two weeks. Captain actually has been drinking this… tea for two weeks." It's still Eld.

"I'm sorry."

"Captain is really kind, huh?" Gunther. Levi will have to make him clean the stables.

"The fact Captain actually showed his kindness towards a brat is surprising." Oluo will just have to join Gunther in the stables.

"Instead of saying that… How about we teach you how to make his tea? The way Captain likes it? So, next time you can give Captain Levi a much better tea, is that okay?" Petra.

"Thank you."

Levi leaves the kitchen, then, and goes back to his office. It looks like Levi will get his tea, after all.

And maybe a talk is needed as well.

As two surviving people who lost the people they care about.

"Your sister is fine." Moblit tells her, gently, when he gets back from checking Lia. "She is with…" he swallows. "She's fine. Lyanne is still unconscious, but two of the new recruits are with her but one of those is your kid. Mikasa ."

Blythe doesn't spare Moblit a glance but she relaxes her shoulders. She nods, however, to no one in particular. But still keeps her clenching her hands. This day has been pure shit. Everything. Right from the start down to the very finish. It's like the world doesn't want her to survive.

Whatever Erwin had planned to achieve in this expedition… it was a failure.

Maybe, it isn't the world that's at fault. Maybe, it's them who are wrong for wanting to know the truth. For wanting more for themselves. Maybe, if they just lived quietly, the way the people inside the walls had, none of this would have happened.

But she knows that she's just wanting to point the blame on someone , on anything.

"Blythe," a voice calls. She looks over to see it's Eren. His eyes wide, and he looks distraught.

"It's fine. They're okay, Eren." She says. "You heard Moblit. He checked."

Eren still doesn't look like he believes it. She can't blame him on that. She doesn't even believe it herself.

She looks in front of her and sees Erwin's back. Does he feel the burden of the dead people that he chose to sacrifice over the lives of the people inside the walls? Does he think he did the right thing? Both of her sisters are affected in ways she can't even explain. Will Erwin take accountability for that? Will he apologise?

Will she even accept the apology that came from the man who planned to use her sister as bait and the death of Lia's comrades ?

"When we get back," Hanji says, suddenly. "Do you want to check our notes? I mean, we saw some freaky stuff, right? I heard from one of the soldiers about the Female Titan letting the other titans eat her. That's something, right?"

"Yeah, it's something ." Blythe answers. Humans becoming titans . A theory she thought of. She doesn't think it's real… no, Lyanne was right. She didn't want it to. She was in denial.

"What do you mean?" Hanji asks.

"Nothing." Blythe replies. She looks back to Lia and Lyanne. " Absolutely nothing."

Lyanne slowly opens her eyes, but everything hurts, including opening her eyelids. She hears someone calling for her but it's too far, like someone was inside a well, calling out her name. She moves her toes first, then her fingers and finally, she succeeds in opening her eyes.

"Lyanne!" Mikasa excitedly exclaims. Lyanne isn't sure if it's really Mikasa, too. "Lyanne, are you okay?"

She blinks a few times more before holding up her hand to touch Mikasa's face. "Mikasa?"

"Yes."

"I want to sit."

Mikasa hurriedly helps her up. Slowly, at once and Lyanne feels another pair of hands. Lyanne looks over. Blond.

"Armin?"

"It's Jean." He answers.

"Ah." She sits up, and looks around. Her sight is starting to clear. "Where are we?"

"We're about to go back to the walls."

Lyanne looks all over everyone. She finds Lia in one of the carts, hugging… something. It takes her a few moments to realize what it is.

"Somebody tell me right now what's going on." She demands.

"Lyanne -"

" Now, Mikasa." She snaps.

Mikasa looks down as she grabs Lyanne's hand and squeezes. "The Female Titan almost got you. When I saw you, it already was about to swallow you. Captain Levi helped -"

"Where's the Female Titan?" Lyanne cuts her off. "Where is it? I don't see it anywhere."

Mikasa purses her lips. "It got away."

"So, what you're saying is we failed. " Lyanne utters, with her voice breaking. "That's it, right? Lia is holding a dead body right now. We are less people now that we're coming back than when we come out. It's a failure. We failed ."

Mikasa - nor Jean - replies. They both look away from her

The silence is heavy.

Before she can ask again and demand them for some answers, the gates open and Lyanne is not - she's not equipped for this. When she joined the Survey Corps, none of their loss has this been devastating. A couple of close calls, lesser deaths. But it was manageable. She could handle it.

Not right now.

Not this one.

Every person inside the walls is looking at them like they're something interesting, or something with contempt. She can feel them whispering, some of them even talk shit about them in front of her . Like they didn't just experience the worst loss anybody could ever experience.

Like it was the Survey Corps' fault that this happened.

Maybe, it is .

Lyanne's eyes settle on some kids looking at them, admiration evident on their faces.

"THEY ARE SO COOL!" One of them exclaims. "No matter how much they're beaten, they always keep fighting!"

Lyanne feels the fatigue in her body in full force. She is tired . And broken. She wants to die .

Then, a man comes running towards them. Specifically, Levi.

"Captain Levi, Sir! Thank you for taking care of my daughter! I'm Petra's father!" Lyanne flinches as she hears her name. "There's something I want to discuss with you before I find her…"

Lyanne looks back to Lia, who's holding a dead body. She keeps rocking it, while her shoulders are shaking. No …

"My daughter sent me this letter, see… she wrote that you were counting on her skills and that's working directly under your command now… she says she intends to devote herself to you completely for something like that… well… that was her pride talking… but she doesn't understand how much she worried that makes me…" Petra's father laughs, a little awkward, forced. "Um, I mean… as her father, I think it's still too early to get married up… she's still young after all and who knows what's going to happen ahead of days…"

Lyanne can't help it. Her tears fall and as her eyes wander back to Lia who already has her head buried in the body she's holding.

"I thought of a way to actually not kill you but just stop you from wreaking havoc." Levi announces.

Lyanne tilts her head and sighs. "Go ahead."

Levi draws something on the board and it's… a three year old could draw better.

"That's an ugly ass drawing." Lyanne decides.

Someone snickers at the back while Lia uses the back of her hand to tap her quiet. Lyanne frowns at Lia but says nothing. Blythe just snorts.

Levi ignores all of that, however. "I said before that the only way to stop you is to kill you. This time, it would just leave you badly wounded. That said, it would rely on different skills. In short, we have to cut out the meat on your neck titan with you in it and cut off your arms and legs." Levi looks at her. "It would just grow again, right? Like a lizard… disgusting."

"Yeah, Levi. I totally wanted to become a titan and I totally wanted to let you cut off my limbs." She rolls her eyes. "I don't care how you do it. Just as long my sister is involved."

"She'll be in-charge of your titan neck, a little consolation for cutting your limbs off." Levi decides. "It might help if you know someone who's about to cut you there - less chances of you killing the rest of us."

Just by that, the room's tension rises.

"T-then, I can run an experiment, right?"

Levi looks at Hanji. "It's a big risk. But on the other hand, we can't afford not to poke and prod her."

Hanji shakes from excitement. Lyanne gives Blythe a look of this is your superior, right? But Blythe just looks back with a deadpan expression.

"I can devise a plan, can't I? Lyanne, if there's something we don't know. We should find out. It's absolutely worth putting our lives on the line."

Is it? Lyanne wants to ask. But doesn't.

They walk out of the building they're in and transfer to an abandoned barn with a well without water. Hanji instructs her to go down the well.

"Lyanne!" Hanji calls.

Lyanne looks up. "Yeah?"

"I'll signal you with a flare when everything's ready. After that, it's up to you!"

"Roger!"

Hanji's head is gone in an instant. Lyanne is still looking up when the signal comes out of the sky.

Lyanne places her hand between her teeth. Thinking of the last time she transformed, she almost hurt her kids. What is it going to be this time? She bites. She waits.

No pain. No skin ripping, bone cracking pain.

She bites again.

Nothing.

And again. And again. And again.

Fuck, she curses in her head. It's not working. She yells, "Hanji!"

She hears distant, echoing footsteps of horses. And then, Hanji's head pops out with Levi. "What ha-"

Lyanne, with her bloody mouth and bloodier hand, says. "It's not working." She sighs. "I can't turn into a titan."

They have no choice but instruct her to come back up. She follows Levi and Hanji who walk towards the rest of the squad, sitting. When did they find a table at this time?

Blythe comes running towards her. "Your mouth…"

"Not injured. My hand is."

Blythe drags her to the table and makes her sit. She cleans her mouth first and then she cleans the wounds in her hands, patches her up while Lia gives her a cup of tea.

"Your self-inflicted wounds haven't healed?"

"No…" she answers.

"If you can't turn into a titan, our plans to retake Wall Maria goes down the drain. Me, making a scene by hurting Lia, your sister, will be useless. Do something about it."

"I know." She grits her teeth. "I know what's at stake."

"Act like it." Levi orders.

Levi walks away with his cup of tea. Then, he calls for Lia because of course he is. He drinks his tea, weirdly, Lyanne realizes. Why can't he drink normally by using the handle like the rest of them?

"Don't take it so hard." Eld says. "Well, I understand Captain Levi's concern… but this just shows that you're more human than I thought."

Lyanne looks at him.

"I prefer this than losing my life…" Eld adds.

"Yeah, there's no such as being too cautious." Gunther mutters.

She knows they don't want her to turn into a titan. It's not like she could blame them. But if this turns into a failure, the court might actually take up Levi's offer to just kill her sister first before he kills her.

She takes the teaspoon that Lia left besides her cup. She whimpers softly as it falls down the ground.

"You okay?" Gunther asks.

"Yeah." She says with a sigh. She bends down to take it, and she feels it - the skin ripping, bone crushing pain - it's immediate. All she knows is that's how she turned into a titan.

The steam coming out of her titan body is too much. She doesn't feel like a titan. Not all of her. Just a part of her, apparently. Her hand and arm.

"What the fu - why now?" She hisses.

"Calm down." A voice says.

"Captain Levi!"

She looks at the voice speaking and… this is not as surprising as she thought it would be.

Everyone has their blade out and pointed at her. Except for Levi who's stopping them from attacking her and Lia, who Eld is stopping from running to her.

"I'm telling all of you to calm down…" Levi announces.

The tension just stays the same. Even when Hanji comes running to them excitedly. Blythe sees the scene and runs but Keiji - from what Lyanne has remembered - stops her completely.

"That's my sister!" She exclaims.

Keiji just shakes his head and grabs her back.

The Levi Squad circles her but Levi doesn't falter. Lyanne is just watching them.

"Lyanne! What the hell!" Eld screams, still has Lia on his back. "Why did you do that without permission?"

Lyanne doesn't answer.

"Eld, hold on." Levi says.

"Answer us, Lyanne! Are you an enemy of humanity?" Oluo asks.

"Prove it now." Gunther says, glaring. "Try anything nasty, we'll cut your head off!"

"I said to calm down!" Levi exclaims.

"Please, Captain, move back! You're too close!" Petra tries to pull Levi away.

But Levi stays. He looks at her and then to Lia. "No. Move back. Follow my orders."

"Why?!" Petra asks.

"We both know what's at stake if she fucks up. Now, move back." Levi orders.

Before they can, though, Hanji runs towards Lyanne. "Can I touch your arm, Lyanne? Can I? I can, right?"

Before Lyanne can give them permission, they already touch it.

"Hot! It's hot!" Hanji exclaims, excitedly and they fall down on their knees. "It's goddamn hot!"

They stand up again with the help of Moblit, he murmurs quietly, "You're too reckless, Squad Leader Hanji."

"Lyanne! What does it feel? What's happening in your arm?"

That's right , Lyanne thinks. She just got to take out her real arm from the titan's. She pulls it out, ignores the screaming that's happening around her and stumbles when she succeeds.

Blythe and Lia are on her as soon as she hits the ground.

It's Lia who cups her face. "What do you feel?"

Blythe pats her entire body in panic.

She looks up and sees all of them looking back at her and the evaporating titan arm.

"Not so good…"

The ride back to the castle is stilted and awkward. Blythe and Lia ride back with her, like they're trying to protect her from the rest of them. As soon as they reach the castle, Levi orders Lyanne to come down with him to the basement.

"Lia, stay here and find out what explanation Hanji has. Call us when it's done."

Levi and Lyanne walk down and wait.

"Assuming Hanji has an explanation, it's still not enough for them to trust me that I'm not an enemy of humanity." Lyanne says.

"Of course, they don't." Levi replies. "As they should. It's to compensate with the fact Lia trusts you and they trust Lia." He continues, "Petra Ral, 10 kills, 48 assists. Oluo bozado, 39 kills, 9 assists. Eld Jinn, 14 kills, 22 assists. Gunther Schultz, 7 kills, 44 assists. Lia, 15 kills, 20 assists. Lia has more kills and assists than most of them but one thing she lacks is the experience and the judgement of what she should do. It's understandable, you're her sister. But the others… they went to their worst nightmare again and again and produced all these results. They've learned how to live and survive. If you fuck up, worst case scenario, they die. What if it's more? But of course… it doesn't mean they have no heart. You are the sister of their comrade. That upsets them more than you think it would."

They hear footsteps coming from the stairs and it's Lia with a worried look on her face.

"Squad Leader Hanji has called for you."

"That shitty four-eyes took long enough. Let's go."

Lyanne stands up and walks towards the kitchen. They're all sitting down. Lia offers a space for a seat and Lyanne takes it. She grabs Lia's hand and squeezes.

"What," Levi asks. "Were you taking a long shit?"

"No, that went smoothly."Hanji jokes. "What took long is to explain to our superiors what happened." They put something out with a cloth wrapped around it. "Look at this, Lyanne." They unwrap it and it reveals a… teaspoon. "It's a teaspoon." Hanji points out.

"I can tell."

"The titan arm you sprouted was gripping this. You were holding in your hand like this," they position their hand on how Lyanne held it. "They said you were just about to take the teaspoon when you transformed. Is that right?"

"Yes." Lyanne answers.

"If I'm being completely honest, the one who got the answer is your sister, Blythe. She said, maybe the reason you transformed is because of a purpose that existed at that time. For example, "to kill other titans", "to protect against cannon fire", "to lift a rock". All of these, you transformed with a purpose in mind. Maybe, pain isn't what triggers it. Maybe, you also should have a goal in mind when you turn into a titan."

"So, I transformed…" she deadpans. "Into a titan because of a teaspoon?" Lyanne looks at Blythe who looks a bit thoughtful. Lyanne blinks at her.

"I wanted to test more of our theories but… there's no time until the next expedition."

"You're not going to take the chance to jeopardize the mission?" Levi asks.

"No. Not this time." Hanji replies.

"So, in other words…" Eld starts. "You didn't mean to transform without permission."

"Yes..." Lyanne answers.

All of them breathe in and suddenly bite their hand.

"What?!" Lyanne asks. "What are you doing?"

"This is our way of paying for the error in our judgement." Gunther explains.

"But it's still our job to keep you in check, so behave, Lia's sister!" Oluo glares at her.

"I'm sorry, Lyanne… it must be disappointing to know the comrades of your sister don't trust you. Even so, we need to be cautious. How about this?" She looks at her. "Believe in us as we believe in you. That way, none of us is alone in confronting this kind of situation."

Lyanne lays down as a yelling voice rings in her ears. "COMMANDER ERWIN! ANSWER ME! DID YOU ACCOMPLISH ANYTHING TO MAKE UP FOR THE CASUALTIES THIS TIME? AREN'T YOU SORRY FOR GETTING ALL THOSE SOLDIERS KILLED?"

She closes her eyes as she cries. "I failed…" she murmurs. "I'm a failure…"

Mikasa hugs her. She feels Mikasa's face against her neck, breathing in. And a hand is wrapped around hers. Warmer. Bigger. She looks at Jean, who's looking back at her.

It's a failure.

Chapter 15: Compassion and Mercy

Notes:

isayama im too drunk to say shit hope ur good tell ur wife i love her

READ END NOTES, PEOPLE!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

His name is Anthony. He's a soldier from Military Police and he's twenty four years old. He's been at this job for quite some time and even though it isn't as rewarding , it's alright. It pays, he can do whatever he wants on the job and nobody complains or can tell him off because he's from the Military Police. It's been a good job.

Until now .

Apparently, he has to pick up the human titan which is Lyanne, Ranking Officer of the Survey Corps. He met her, once, that girl. She's a bit arrogant and always snapping at people, left and right. Rumors have it the only time she's kind and nice are to her sisters. He never met them himself, but one of them is protégé of the Humanity's Strongest Soldier and the other one is the assistant of the smartest person in the Survey Corps. They can't be normal.

They stop outside an old castle, where Commander Erwin Smith is waiting for them outside. Commander Nile comes out of the carriage and they talk. Anthony doesn't hear what they're talking about and it's not like he particularly cares what's it about. Nile, however, looks utterly annoyed but nods, anyway. Nile calls for Anthony and he has no choice but to go.

"Go to the castle and tell whoever's inside we need to leave now." Nile orders. He looks back to Erwin. "The fact your right-hand-man is coming is suspicious , Erwin."

"Levi is just worried about his protégé. They recently lost a few people in their squad…"

Anthony doesn't hear the rest of the sentence as he walks towards the castle. He reaches the door and is about to knock when it opens and it's… Captain Levi, Humanity's Strongest Soldier.

"Who are you?" He asks.

"I was asked by Commander Nile to pick up -"

"Shut up." Levi cuts him off. He turns around and says. "Lia, we're going." He looks back at Anthony and raises an eyebrow. "What are you looking at?"

Scary! Anthony swallows the lump in his throat.

'Lia', Anthony finds, is someone even shorter than Captain Levi. She has tanned skin and a few freckles on her face. The next one is someone with red hair and kind eyes.

"Blythe," Captain Levi calls. "Where's Lyanne?"

"She's here." 'Blythe' answers.

And 'Lyanne' is… well. She looks a little different from what Anthony has remembered. She looks sharp in places he remembers her being soft.

"Why are you staring at her like that?" Levi snaps. "Back off ."

"Sorry." Anthony murmurs.

"Your job is to pick these three up. What are you doing?" Levi complains as they walk back towards the carriages. "Damn it, is Erwin really going to let these idiots handle these three? What a waste of space."

There are two carriages. One for 'Lyanne', 'Lia' and 'Blythe'. The Military Police only needed Lyanne, but they think it would be better if they have some leverage against her, like the Survey Corps did.

And the other one is for Commander Nile and his assistant.

"We'll ride alongside our subordinates." Erwin tells Nile.

" Erwin. "

"For old time's sake, Nile." Erwin says.

Nile doesn't say anything else which means he's letting them.

They all ride the carriage, Anthony wonders if it's too cramp inside. He hops on his position too and leads the horses to move. It seems to be a peaceful day. Honestly, he really thought this day is going to be more stressful than he originally thou -

Boom!

An explosion.

Anthony is forced to stop the carriage. He looks around to find the source of the sound and it's behind him.

And another explosion.

A shocked and confused Nile opens the door of his carriage and comes out. He's looking straight on where the explosions are. A few moments later, Erwin comes out as well. But unlike Nile, he doesn't look confused, his face actually says right on time .

That's when Anthony realizes Commander Erwin Smith knows exactly what's going on.

"They're late." Levi complains. "I can't believe that good-for-nothing Erwin is making me wait."

Lyanne snorts. "Is Erwin the one you're mad at? Or Lia?"

Levi puts down his cup of tea with so much vigor, Lyanne is shocked, it doesn't crack.

Lyanne knows Levi is really not mad at Lia, but Lia has been skittish, a little bit like a cat when it doesn't want to be touched or petted. Even around her and Blythe, she rarely talks. Lyanne is worried about her and Blythe advises her to let Lia go for a few days. Lyanne listens, because, if anything, Blythe would know what she's talking about. It's not like they could do anything about Lia right now, anyway, except for giving her time - they got other things to worry about.

Today, Lia did say she left to have a talk with Petra's father about extending Petra's funeral. It's now a matter of if he will say yes.

"I didn't think you'd be the type to be upset about something like that." Lyanne comments.

"You are not from my squad, so you wouldn't know."

Lyanne smiles, small. Then, it fades. "I'm sorry if I got them killed. Back then… if I only…" she stares at a wall. "Things might have been different. Maybe, you wouldn't even get injured."

"Nobody knows the outcome of anything. Blaming yourself for something like that is useless."

They both share a moment of silence. For the rest of Levi Squad that died, for Lia who mourns for them, for Levi who would have done everything to get them back and for Lyanne, who should have made a different decision when they were still alive.

Suddenly, the door opens and it's Erwin, with Mikasa, Armin, Eren, Blythe and Lia.

"Sorry, I'm late." Erwin announces. "We found someone whom we suspect is the Female Titan."

"What happened?" Levi asks Lia, who sits down next to him. Coincidentally, the seat is next to hers as well.

"He said yes." Lia answers.

Levi nods and gives her a look. "Later."

Lia purses her lips.

Blythe sits down next to Lyanne, as well. With Erwin, Armin, Eren and Mikasa across her.

"We now have a suspect who is the female titan." Erwin announces. "To be honest, the one who deduced the identity of who she is, is… Armin."

Lyanne watches Eren as he looks in utter disbelief when he turns his head towards Armin. Oh? They didn't talk among themselves?

"Armin - and Lia told us she was with them - encountered the Female Titan and surmised she may have been among you in Training 104th Corps. We also believed she killed the two titans alive. Her name is… Annie."

Eren physically flinches as Erwin finishes his speech. He asks Armin, "What made you think it's her?"

"Not only she knew what Lyanne looked like, she reacted when I said reckless sister and the only people who knew Lyanne is our sister is the one we've been in training with… but the biggest factor in making me think she killed those titans… was that… killing those two required a high level of skill so I think she must have used her own maneuvering equipment, which she was more familiar with… then she presented Marco's equipment to avoid being caught."

"What? Why would Marco be involved?"

Armin closes his eyes and sighs. "I may have been wrong…"

Levi speaks up. "Hey, kid… you're always saying 'I think' and someone who 'might' be the Female Titan… but do you have any other evidence?"

"To me, yes…" Mikasa replies. "The titan looked like Annie."

Eren stands up and slaps the table angrily. "What're you saying? How is that evide-"

"Eren," Blythe says softly but the tone of her voice. It's a warning. "Calm down.'

Eren sits back down again.

"In other words, we don't have proof…" Levi continues. "But she's our primary suspect anyway."

"What if it isn't Annie?" Eren asks, looking like he couldn't believe it.

"If it is not Annie then she's clear of suspicion." Mikasa tells Eren, tilts her head up to look at him. "Is she more important than Lyanne?"

Armin adds. "I would feel bad for Annie if that's the case… but still, if we don't do anything, the Military Police will take Lyanne and use her as a scapegoat."

"Actually," Erwin says and everybody looks at him. "They also wanted to take Lia and Blythe."

" What?!"

Erwin passes them a paper and it's Levi who takes it first. "What's said on paper is that they need the most immediate connection to her, just in case they plan to escape but that's not what they want from them."

"They want the same power the Survey Corps had… they're going to use Lia and Blythe as leverage against Lyanne." Armin's eyes are wide with realization.

Levi crumples the paper and throws it. "What pieces of trash."

"That's why we will device a plan -"

Blythe cuts him off. "I have one."

Lyanne looks at her. "You do?"

"I actually already discussed this with Armin." Blythe breathes in and exhales slowly. "We're going to use Jean as a faux Lyanne to be the one escorted with Lia and I. While Lyanne will sneak out with Armin, Eren and Mikasa to lure her out to an underground location, if possible. So that she won't be able to transform into a titan. If we capture her, Lyanne, Lia and I's summon to the capital will not be a problem anymore."

"Wait, you said Jean." Lyanne frowns, confused. "How'd you get him to do that?"

"I asked him. He knows he will have to pretend to be you. Not the entire plan."

"Are you sure it's safe to do this plan inside the walls?" Lia asks.

Blythe shrugs. "If we can't trap her outside, we'll just have to do it inside. This time, we can't fail. This is our last chance." She leans back and has a look in her eyes that means this is the only plan that could work. "Besides, it's perfect. Maybe the Military Police will enjoy the fact the traitor is among their ranks." She looks at the kids. "Armin, I'm sorry… but you have to lead the group."

Armin looks overwhelmed for a moment before he sees Blythe is serious. "I will do my best."

"Wait." Lyanne says in panic. "My sisters -"

"Levi and I will pose as an escort." Erwin decides. He looks over to Levi who's still glaring at the crumpled paper. "Levi would just have to agree."

"Escort guard! Leave this to us! Assess the situation!" Nile orders.

"Understood!" And all of the soldiers on top of the roofs are gone in an instant.

"Something's off." Nile murmurs. "There's seemed to be some sort explosion and -"

"Nile," Erwin calls. "Dispatch all of your soldiers at once. We should assume a Titan has appeared."

"Tita - what are you saying? This is Wall Sina, it is impossible for a Titan to appear here!" Nile exclaims.

Suddenly, 'Lyanne' comes out of the carriage and one of the soldiers holds her back. "Stop! You're not supposed to -"

'Lyanne' pushes him off. "Get your filthy hands off me!" And then 'she' takes her hair off - which Anthony belatedly remembers is a wig - and she reveals herself as a man. "Don't even try to think you can touch Lyanne like that, idiot!"

Anthony is too sober for this. He needs to be drunk right now. He needs to have been drunk yesterday.

The man who posed as Lyanne comes running towards Erwin and Levi. He says, "Let me go there too, Sir!"

"Get your gear from the fourth squad." Erwin reminds gently.

"Got it!" The man wraps himself with the hood jacket of the Survey Corps.

Levi says, "It's nice to be enthusiastic. But don't forget to protect your own life."

"Yes, Sir!" Then the man is off.

Lia and Blythe - hopefully, they are the real sisters of Lyanne - come out the carriage.

Levi gives them a look. "Get close, Lia. Blythe, you too. Hanji has been bugging me to make sure you get home safe."

Blythe rolls her eyes but says nothing.

"Erwin, what's going on -" Nile gets cut off when a soldier comes out of nowhere and calls Erwin commander .

The soldier lands on the ground and reveals a suitcase with his gear.

"Much appreciated." Erwin fixes his gear and when he's finished, he stands up and Anthony feels the intimidating aura around the man. He wonders if this is why the Survey Corps believes everything he does. "Everyone who can fight, follow me! We'll join the Female Titan Capture Squad!"

"Wait a second, Erwin!" Nile points a gun at Erwin and everybody follows. Levi postures to protect Lia and Blythe behind him but the two of them look like they're bored. Anthony pines for a bottle of wine right now. "What you're doing is a treason against the Monarchy!"

"Nile," Levi replies. "Is your brain as thin as that moustache of yours?"

Blythe snorts before she chuckles softly.

"It seems you don't know what's going on." Levi continues.

"Erwin! Remove your equipment!" But Nile isn't listening.

For a moment, all they do is stare at each other.

Anthony hears another explosion.

Anthony wants to drink.

#

Jean runs the opposite direction of people running away from the Female Titan. " Damn it, will you hurry up!" He tells himself as he looks over to the rooftops and finds Military Police doing nothing.

"That could have been me, just what am I doing?" Jean mutters and an image of Lyanne being eaten, being unconscious, crying over being a failure … you're a good man, Jean.

Because I don't think I could protect you…

Jean grits his teeth and runs faster. He finds Eren and Armin trying to move a rock in a destroyed building. He runs towards them and realizes it's Lyanne they're trying to free. Bloodied .

"What happened? Why is she - why - why isn't she transforming ?" Jean asks in a frantic tone. He'd rather she's a titan he can recognize than… like this .

"She can't transform - because…" Armin looks at Eren. "In any case, we need to save her! We can't leave her like this!"

Jean snaps his head around Eren. Anger. Confusion. Grief . He can feel it flowing in his veins. He grabs Eren's clothes and pulls him closer. "Don't screw with me, Eren! Don't you remember what your sisters had to do to get this far? If we fail now, nevermind me, you, Armin and Mikasa will never see them again! Stop confusing her with whatever preach you told her about Annie! People entrusted their lives, their future, the world to her and you ' re hindering all that for an enemy!" He growls as he pushes Eren as he stumbles backwards.

He kneels down next to Lyanne, whose eyes are still closed. You're a good man. Because I don't think I can protect you . "Your sisters are alright, Lyanne . Captain Levi and Commander Erwin are protecting them. I - I… I know you said you can't protect me, I don't need you to… but I need you to…" Jean tries to stop his tears from falling. He can't do this here. "I need you to remember why we're doing this. You know, for me, I'm doing this for Marco …" and he hopes he gets away with this. "And for you ."

Armin gasps softly besides him. Jean turns his head around to look at Armin but his eyes settle at the boulder coming at them instead. They jump away and the boulder comes crashing down at where Lyanne is located.

" Lyanne!"

Before he can go back to Lyanne and finds Annie wrecking havoc. Shit . He announces, "We're going to have to do something about her first." He gives one last look to Lyanne, and his eyes soften when he sees she has one of her eyes open, looking back at him.

Armin sees Lyanne open her eye and he's immediately on her and touches her face. "Are you okay? Do you -" Armin's face distorts. "We're gonna help you, okay, Lyanne! Just wait -" he watches her shake her head a bit. "You don't want to? But -"

Another explosion.

"H-...hel-... help. " Lyanne stutters. " Go ."

Armin's eyes widened. He scrambles his hands around her. "No… no! I'm not leaving you like this -"

" Go ." Lyanne says. She looks at him straight in his eyes and he knows she's serious.

Armin frowns and clenches his fist. He nods, anyway and looks at Eren. "Let's go." He says. Blythe said he's the one in-charge of this . He has to start acting like it. He stands up, takes off his blades and runs towards where the explosions are.

If anything, Armin will just have to make Lyanne proud.

Eren slowly walks towards Lyanne and kneels in front of her. He brushes her hair and purses his lips. She's looking back at him, with an expression of, why are you still here? Go! But Eren can't leave until he tells her this:

"You're more important to me than Annie." Eren says. "Armin told Jean once, that people who can't abandon anything can accomplish anything. Annie abandoned her humanity. " He kisses her forehead. "Just don't give up." He smiles at her sadly. " Please ." He stands up and nods at her, once.

He follows Armin, feeling like he's the one who abandoned something .

Lyanne can't even move. As much as she wants to look at her kids leaving, she has no choice but to look up instead.

Lovely sky. Lovely weather. It's a good day to take a walk. But she's currently under a heavy boulder, she really can't do anything else.

Her eyes gloss over. She wants to sleep . She's too tired. She tries to keep her eyes wide open but -

'Lyanne wakes up in the middle of the night, and she's too hot, like she's in the middle of two people hugging her - and she's not wrong. Blythe has her arms wrapped around her chest and Lia around her stomach. She wants to pee but as she tries to leave, their hands just tighten.

Pee be damned, then. She closes her eyes and smiles, softly. She really loves being in the middle.'

" Lyanne - " a voice calls for her but she can't recognise who it is.

'"Seriously, _! Why are you throwing water at me?" A voice that sounds so familiar but Lyanne can't be named exclaims excitedly. There are laughters everywhere and a sound that sounds a lot like music in the distance.

What is this? Lyanne doesn't remember it. What is it?'

" LYANNE! "

' A scene from the forest. A memory that Lyanne is trying to forget, the Female Titan killing the Levi Squad like bugs. And Lyanne didn't do anything. Lyanne didn't choose a different choice, none of them would have died.'

" Lyanne! Hey!"

Lyanne feels her blood boil and she groans out of pain because of this.

" Lyanne!"

If I don't finish this… she thinks, horrified. Lia and Blythe will be taken away from me. They'll be gone. They'll be leaving me alone .

Lyanne glares at the sky, and she turns her head towards the voice who keeps calling her.

It's Jean.

"S- stab … m- me… " Lyanne orders.

"What?" Jean freezes. "No, I can't -"

Lyanne feels anger flows in her veins. They're going to take her sisters away from her. Lia and Blythe. The very people who stayed with her, who took care of her, who loved her. They're going to take the very people she loves .

They didn't ask to be in this world. They didn't ask to carry this burden.

Give in.The voice says.

To what? She asks.

Give in.

She grits her teeth and tells Jean. " Stab me. "

Jean's eyes are wide. "Why -"

"Do it ." She hisses with her bloodied mouth.

Give in.

Jean looks around and finds a thick wooden stick. He takes it and gets back to Lyanne. He looks like he wants to be anywhere but here. "Do I have to?"

"Yes." She answers. If you don't, they're going to take away my sisters.

Jean bites his lip as he positions himself. She nods to give him a signal and Jean closes his eyes as he brings down the wooden stick and stabs her arm.

There's no pain this time. Just fury, to the Military Police, to the world , who's trying to take what's hers.

" Run." She warns Jean before the voice takes her away.

Give in.

"What the fuck is this, Erwin?" Nile exclaims. "You knew about this? What is the point of you doing this? Answer me, Erwin!"

Erwin is sure Nile said something before that but he's not exactly listening. As much he has to stay here, it's not exactly pleasant to listen to someone yelling at him.

I did it for humanity, is what he wants to answer but it seems like a waste of time. Everything he has done is for humanity. So does everybody else. Why does he have to explain?

"I can't believe you… you would do something like this to prove a point?"

Erwin finally looks at Nile, remembering what Blythe said when she proposed the plan. Maybe the Military Police will enjoy the fact the traitor is among their ranks. He doesn't exactly enjoy it, but a sense of triumph filled his heart with joy that he's right.

Suddenly, another explosion happens and another titan emerges. It's Lyanne. His subordinate. The one who he thinks has the right to - before he can finish that thought, he feels Levi and Lia vanished behind his back. When he turns around, it's just Blythe looking back.

"They just left."

It takes Erwin everything not to smile.

Blythe looks back at Erwin with a tired look on her face.

She hasn't slept.

Or more accurately, she can't.

She keeps on thinking about Lia before she goes to bed; she hasn't spoken much and she was never the type to not talk. She likes talking, the same way Blythe likes hearing her voice. But Lia suddenly stops and as much as she understands ( Carla) , Blythe worries.

When she does successfully sleep, she dreams. She dreams of screaming humans begging her to save them from turning into mindless titans. Sometimes, their faces turn into Eren or Armin or Mikasa and she wakes up, sweating and crying.

Blythe is tired . And then she suddenly has to deal with Military Police like they aren't the reason why she has to be here or why Levi has to threaten Lia, her sister , in the first place.

Erwin turns his back to Nile and walks towards her. "You're not going to leave? You don't want to help?"

Blythe can't help it, she glares at Erwin. "You know exactly why I can't."

"Enlighten me."

"I have to stay here because I'm the one who made this plan." She tells him with gritted teeth. "I have to be here because I am responsible for all the lives that's involved. For all the deaths, for all the damages, for all the pain, I have to be here to shoulder it." She raises an eyebrow. "Like you would know what that means."

"And yet this plan still involves chaos, Blythe." Erwin tells her. He looks at her straight in her eyes. "So, you do agree that chaos and sacrifices are necessary."

Blythe tells him nothing. She doesn't tell him it's because of him that started all of this. If he didn't start in chaos, then she isn't forced to think of this plan, at all.

All she tells him is, "I am responsible for this plan. I'm staying."

An explosion. Blythe looks up to see Lyanne in titan form fighting the Female Titan. She wants to go there so badly, to offer her support to her sister, to fight. But she has to stay. She needs to . This is her responsibility in this war. She takes comfort that Lia is there for Lyanne.

"It's going well, don't you think so?" Erwin asks.

"Of course, it's going well for you . You have no compassion for the dead, for the living or for anything other than your purpose." She hisses at him. "You are everything why I wouldn't join the Survey Corps." She glares at him. "But I guess, we'll just have to co-exist with each other."

"Do Lyanne and Lia think the same thing?"

Hearing Erwin say the names of the most important people in her life, makes Blythe sees red. "Don't you dare utter even a syllable of their name." She hisses. "You have no right, Erwin . Not when you used Lyanne as bait and continue doing so, not when you deliberately plan to kill the squad Lia treasured."

Erwin stares at her eyes. And then, "You're way too smart for your own good."

Blythe smiles, sarcastically. "Ring any bell?" She looks away from him and the Military Police are watching them like they're something interesting.

She has no care to think of anybody other than Lyanne - and Lia, who's currently in another predicament of her own - fighting a battle that she has to win.

I'm sorry , she tells her in a prayer. I'm sorry.

Levi fixes his gear and waits for Lia to finish hers. He takes their hoods, and wears one for himself and does the same to Lia.

Lia looks up, and meets his eyes.

Finally. These past few days, Levi rarely has seen her. She still follows his orders, gives him tea, cleans the castle, but she feels so far away from him. He's afraid he'll look at where she usually is one day and she's not there . He touches her cheeks, softly, down to her neck and he rubs his thumb in the place where the pulse is alive.

"Do you remember when I promised your sister if we needed to cut the meat in the titan neck, it would be you?"

Lia nods.

"Do it." He orders.

Lia steps away from him and releases her blades. He waits for his signal to activate their gears and fly where Lyanne is.

The scene Levi is watching is Lyanne about to eat the person behind the Female Titan. He clicks his tongue and tells Lia, "Lia! Now !"

Lia lands on Lyanne's back and cuts her titan neck and it reveals Lyanne with her eyes close, and mouth slightly open.

"Don't kill the key witness," Levi says as he lands next to Lia. " Idiot ."

Notes:

hello to people who came in here!

DONT SKIP READING THIS:

as you may know, i wrote this fic with THREE original female characters. those three are inspired by my friends, megs and lyanne (yeah she used the same name sue her), and another one i wont name. so keep the interactions cute, always keep it cute. nsfw is fine it doesn't matter to us BUT the hate, keep it constructive criticism level. if you want to talk to them, here are their ao3 handles:

- blythe (megs ao3: megstiell)
- lyanne (lyanne ao3: liyanne)

also, a lot of people have asked what Lyanne Lia and Blythe (LLB for short) look like. i put a little description in this chapter but i guess, if you want to imagine what they REALLY look like. here are some basics, (lyanne wrote this)

lyanne: 22, 5'4, dark ash blonde hair a la jean, green eyes, press for head patting
lia: 19, 5 flat, dark brown eyes, dark hair, press button to smoosh
bly: 19, 5'7, redish brown hair, blue eyes, will fuck you up.

thank you very much for sticking with me 😘

Chapter 16: For The Fallen

Notes:

isayama, hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

read end notes yall mwah

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Five days after the failure of their expedition outside and the semi-success of their capture of the Female Titan inside the walls, and yet, it's a miracle itself that Mr. Ral actually waited for everything to calm down to hold Petra's funeral. Lyanne is sure Lia has something to do with it. How is anyone going to explain why Mr. Ral also let Oluo's funeral be at the same time as Petra's?

"I was thinking of making a feast for… them ." Lia says, biting her tongue when she has to mention her dead comrades. "Can you guys help me cook?"

"Sure." Blythe brushes Lia's hair, and Lyanne catches her eyes looking at the poorly bandaged fingers and palms of Lia's. "I'll be right back." Blythe's footsteps echoes in the basement floor.

Lyanne leans forward and asks, too happily. "So, what are we going to cook?"

" All of their favorite food." She answers, weakly. "Which is not much. They're… they weren't picky."

"Alright, then. We go to the market tomorrow. Do you need money? You totally need money. I have a few here." Lyanne says as she's about to take the salary she gets from the Survey Corps. This job doesn't pay as much as it should and it's not even giving her insurance for all the hazard it gave but considering the three of them all lived separately and she had no kids to take care of, the money she gets, she saved. It's not much but she guesses it could pay for a few kilos of meat.

Blythe comes back with the first aid kit and sits down across Lia. "What's going on?"

"Feast. Food. Market. Money. " Lyanne explains as she tries to remember where exactly she put her money.

"You don't need to!" Lia exclaims. She looks at Blythe who takes her hand and starts cleaning the wounds. "I… Oluo… he was…" she bites her bottom lip. It still has a scar. "They… the rest of them except for Oluo have families. So, they don't usually get to save. Oluo is an orphan and he has no other relative… so he saves his money." She hisses when Blythe presses in a particular wound. "The money he saved…" she breathes in. "He was about to propose to Petra next year."

Lyanne and Blythe's eyes widen and scream. " What?! "

Blythe asks, "They were in a relationship?!"

"I knew it! I knew that bickering was a disguise! I knew it!" Lyanne exclaims.

"No, you guys are right! They aren't!"

"Huh?"

"Then, why?"

She looks down. "But Petra knew Oluo was about to… she would say yes. She was excited about it, too. She told me I have to have a role in her wedding. I guess, they were both afraid if they… they tried to be in a relationship before that… their lives…"

Lyanne smiles softly at Lia. A little sad. "That's why you want to do a feast, huh? For their wedding ?"

Lia nods as Blythe bandages her up. "I told Mr. Ral. He said yes about the feast. He asked me what kind of man Oluo was." Her face distorts out of pain and cries. "I told him he was one of the best men I know and he would have been so lucky to marry someone like Petra."

Blythe wipes the tears out of Lia's face and hugs her. Lyanne stands up, as well, and hugs them both.

They can't bring back the pieces Lia lost in the war but they could try to embrace her back together.

Lyanne wakes up with Blythe's hand tapping her face. She scrunches her face before asking, "How are you here already?"

Blythe went back to Hanji Squad barracks late at night and she's sure it's early in the morning.

"I thought we should move early so we could buy the freshest stuff." She whispers. "I'll wait for you in the kitchen.

"Did you wake Lia?"

"She'll wake up on her own." Blythe says. "Captain Levi is just besides her room."

Blythe leaves as soon as Lyanne stands up. There's a little bathroom in the basement that she doesn't usually use. If the water is cold in the well, it's colder here but she has to wake herself up. Her teeth are chattering when she wears her uniform and she needs a well-boiled tea to warm her up by the time she walks up to the kitchen.

Mike is in the kitchen. Blythe is changing Lia's bandages while there's a kettle in the middle of the table. She pours herself some tea and drinks it with so much vigor.

She puts down her cup and asks, "You're coming with us, Mike?"

Mike nods. "Thought you could use some extra hands."

Lyanne pauses. Extra hands… "Certainly. I'll be right back."

"Where are you going?" Blythe asks.

"Waking up our little siblings~" Lyanne slowly walks up to the second floor and opens the girls' room. She wakes up Mikasa - and by extension, Sasha - who both look at her like they've seen the light. "Kitchen." Mikasa nods and kisses her cheek before leaving her bed. Lyanne goes straight to the boys' room and wakes up Eren, Armin and Reiner. She's thinking of waking Jean and Connie up but… nevermind .

They all go down together and walk up to the kitchen. Lyanne explains Lia's plan about the feast - without saying anything about the wedding - and all of them nod.

So, Lyanne, Blythe and Lia are going to the market with Reiner and Mike. Armin, Mikasa, Eren and Sasha are in-charge of the preparation of the kitchen and cleaning of the castle.

"We have at least a few hours," Blythe reminds them. "So don't hurry. Just pace yourself so you wouldn't be too tired."

"Yes, Miss Blythe!" All of the kids exclaim.

Eren, Armin and Mikasa hug the three of them before leaving.

"So, the codependency also works for the kids?" Mike asks as he helps Lia to her horse. He frowns at the bandages of her hands. "Are you sure you're okay to ride?"

"Yes, Sir Mike."

"Shut up, Mike." Lyanne jokes. "Maybe if you're a little affectionate, you'll understand us."

"No, thanks." Blythe says, drily. "All he's going to do is put everyone in his shoulders and he'll consider it the epitome of romance."

Mike gives Lia a look. "You enjoy it, though?"

Lia pats his face. "Of course."

Reiner snorts before he laughs loudly. "Sorry."

Mike rides his horse and raises an eyebrow. "How about we leave now?"

The sun hasn't risen yet so the ride to the market is a bit difficult. When they get there, Lyanne realizes Blythe is right, they could get the freshest stuff if they buy early in the morning. Lyanne walks closer to Mike, just in case someone thinks the human titan is alone and is about to wreak havoc but considering how there are only a few people, she thinks it probably wouldn't matter.

From what Lia has bought so far, Lyanne learned:

Oluo liked meat

Gunther prefered vegetables.

Petra was not picky on her food, as long it's cooked right.

Eld liked fruits. Particularly something citrusy. Lia buys a few of them.

At some point, Mike has to put Lia on his shoulders so she could see better.

"This is ridiculous," Lia complains.

Mike doesn't care.

Lia buys some tea, something minty. She pays for it with her own money. There's only one reason why she would buy that.

"He…" Lia looks at the tea. "He's as sad as I am."

Lyanne smiles, sadly. "Yeah. Yeah. I know." She hugs Lia and sees Reiner staring at them with a look in his eyes Lyanne couldn't identify. It's gone in an instant when he realizes she's looking at him.

When they finished, they went back to their horses only to find two carriages waiting for them.

And Hanji.

"Hello, everyone! Are you done shopping? Let's go back to the castle! We can start cooking!"

Moblit, who is behind Hanji, pleads to Blythe to say something.

Blythe sighs. "Hanji, you are not allowed to touch anything in the kitchen."

"What?! Why not? I'm good at anything pointy."

"No." Blythe and Moblit both say at the same time.

They put everything they bought in one carriage and the girls will use the other carriage and the boys will ride the horses.

"By the way," Mike says. "Where'd you get the other carriage?"

Hanji snorts. "You know how he is."

Moblit looks at Lyanne and mouths Captain Levi.

Yes, of course. Lyanne rolls her eyes. It's that midget.

Armin watches as Reiner, Sir Mike, Hanji and Moblit enter the kitchen with the supplies. Behind them are three of his sisters with a tired look on their faces.

Lia immediately puts down the supplies she's carrying and goes straight to the kettle and puts water in it. "Captain Levi might be awake already."

He is , Armin wants to say. He visited the kitchen hours ago. When they told him where Lia was and for what, he told them not to tell Lia he was in the kitchen and left like he was never there in the first place.

"Captain Midget can't function without Lia's tea." Lyanne announces. "Of course."

Hanji chuckles. "You call him midget ?"

Lia's kettle starts whistling and she takes it out. They all watch her put the mint tea leaves she bought in the cup and pours the newly-boiled water. The smell is everywhere. She looks at them. "I have to -"

" Go ." Mike orders. "I know their favorite food."

Lia nods and carries the tray with the cup, kettle and tea.

With that, everyone in the kitchen starts preparing. Lyanne can't be in charge of anything with knives so she puts herself to the boiling of meat. Blythe is with Sir Mike talking about the recipes of the food Eld liked.

Lyanne is holding a spoon to mix something in the pot but then she hisses in pain. She lets go of the spoon and stumbles backward. Armin puts down the knife he's using only for Jean to be there before him.

Jean grabs Lyanne's hand and checks her fingers. "Are you okay?"

Lyanne laughs. "I won't turn into a titan from something like that.

"That's not what I meant -"

Armin feels like he's watching a disaster as Mikasa looms over Jean while holding a bucket of water.

"AHHHHHH!" Jean screams as he lets go of Lyanne's hand.

"Oh, Mika. Are you already done? Where's Eren?" Lyanne asks.

"He's still there." Mikasa says as she puts her body between Lyanne and Jean. "Are you hurt?"

"I'm fine! Even if I'm not, it'll heal. Pros of being a titan!" Lyanne grins.

Armin blinks.

When Mikasa goes back to Eren, not before giving Jean a stinky eye and Connie patting his back while trying not to laugh. Sasha just shakes her head while saying something Armin couldn't hear.

Armin walks towards Lyanne and asks, "Are you okay?"

"Aw, man. Yeah, I'm fine. It's just a little burn. Even if I'm not a titan, a kid couldn't get hurt with something like that."

How about something else? Armin wants to ask. He wants to open his mouth and say, if you're not hurt, why are you smiling like you're always on edge?

But he catches Blythe looking at Lyanne with a worried look on her face and he knows Lyanne wouldn't answer his question.

Lia knocks on Levi's office. The door opens and Levi looks at her and then her tray. He takes the tray from her and tells Lia to come in.

"Sorry if the tea was late, Sir." She says. She tries to hide her hands by folding it behind her back.

"Nevermind it." He puts down the tray to his office desk and turns around. He raises an eyebrow. "Your hands."

"Sir?"

"Hands, Lia."

She shows him and he frowns. He walks closer to her. He grabs her hands and touches every bandage, every corner, and every finger.

"The bandage seems new." He comments.

"Blythe changed it this morning."

Levi drags her and makes her sit on the couch. He takes out the first aid kid in his office and sits across from her. He holds her hand and slowly takes the bandages off. "Does it hurt?"

"No, Sir."

"You've been cleaning way too hard." He says.

Lia tries not to shiver when Levi uses his index finger to trace one particular wound. "T-they… they wouldn't want the castle to be dirty."

"That's why we got the brats for." Levi clicks his tongue as he cleans her hand with a clean cloth. "Don't push yourself like this."

She pauses. "Yes, Sir."

"Did you want to die?"

She blinks at Levi. "Sir?"

"When you fought the titans, and disobeyed a direct order from me… did you want to die, then?"

"No, Sir."

Levi looks up to meet her eyes. Lia looks down almost immediately but Levi forces her to when he pinches her chin and pushes it up. "Then, why?"

Lia shakes her head and Levi's hand that's holding her chin falls. "I… I just didn't want to give up… even the bodies. It already took them away from us." She hesitates. "Are you angry?"

"I'm not." He starts patching one of her hands. "But that has to be the only time it'll happen, Lia. Another and I'll punish you myself."

Lia's eyes widen. "Yes, Sir!"

Levi rubs her hair before going back to her other hand. "I'm sure you heard I'm from the Underground."

Lia nods. It was a rumor that she heard from the other trainees. Then it became a warning when Levi told her to join the Survey Corps. Something about how he used to be a criminal. It didn't matter to her if he was. Levi is skilled and is a great leader. Besides, what's the difference between corrupt leaders in the corner of these walls and some criminal from the Underground?

"When I came in here, I was with two people." Levi continues. "Their name was Isabel and Farlan."

Was . Something about that makes Lia's heart stutters.

"They're the people I told you that reminded me of your sisters." He puts the bandages now on her other hand. "They died because of a titan, as well. I was just like you when I saw them dead. I was so angry ."

Lia doesn't know what to say. She has never seen Captain Levi like this before. "They must have been something special."

"They were." Levi finishes the bandage. He grabs both of her hands and twists them so the one in front is her wrist. He puts his thumbs where the pulse is beating. "So were Petra, Oluo, Gunther and Eld. And so are you ." He swallows the lump in his throat as his thumbs press hard. "If you die, I'm alone."

Lia gasps softly. But she doesn't look away from Levi. Her loyalty. Her admiration. Her Captain.

"I won't die , Sir." She promises.

Levi hums as his thumbs draw circles against her skin.

Hanji and Blythe carry a table from inside the castle's kitchen to outside. When they put down the table, Nifa and Keiji also put the food on the table.

"Isn't this nice? " Hanji asks, excitedly. "Getting together, eating especially after what happened to us, doing this once in a while isn't so bad."

"Is Commander Erwin coming for this?" Moblit asks as he puts down a few plates.

"Yeah, I told him. He said he might be late but he's definitely coming." Hanji answers.

Hearing his name, Blythe resists the urge to roll her eyes. She's not sure what happened to him after the capture of the Female Titan but there were a lot of meetings that usually just involved him, Lyanne would probably know if she was still his assistant but too bad, anyway.

Instead, she walks away from the conversation and fixes the plates and the spoons on the other tables.

"Hey, Blythe." Hanji calls.

Blythe looks at Hanji and Hanji is looking at her like they're seeing her for the first time. "What?"

Hanji hums. "Nothing. Just… you don't feel well?"

"I feel okay." She answers, confused. "Why? Do I look pale?"

"You just don't look okay these past few days. You're always looking away and stuff. I thought it was because of Lia and Lyanne. Both of them had a very heavy week. But it doesn't seem to be the case." Hanji walks closer to her. "What's wrong?"

Blythe meets Hanji's eyes and for a moment, she wants to badly tell Hanji about her nightmares, about how she really thinks that some titans used to be humans. That it wasn't just the war that's taking the lives of their people.

But she remembers that the theory of titans being used to be humans would mean somebody is in-charge of killing them that way. And the possibility of Lyanne being poke and prod and taken away from her and Lia… she wouldn't know what to do.

She shakes her head. "It's nothing . We all just had a terrible week."

"Are you sure ?" Hanji asks. Their face is gentle and worried.

"Hm." She smiles, small and soft. And she hopes it looks as genuine as she wants it to be. "Yes." She lies. "Thank you, Hanji, for worrying. But I'm good."

Hanji still doesn't look convinced but they shrug, anyway.

Blythe can't help it. She takes Hanji's glasses off and hides their eyes by putting her hand over it.

" Bly- what -"

She closes her eyes and kisses Hanji's forehead. Her lips linger for too long but it's not like it matters. She puts her forehead against Hanji with her hand still on their eyes.

"Blythe," Hanji croaks out. "I…"

"Hm."

In the distance, Blythe can hear Moblit's heavy inhale of air and Nifa's let it go, Moblit, let it go and Moblit exhaling hard.

Blythe has no choice but to laugh.

Mr. Ral comes in when everybody is already eating. Lia meets him with a smile on her face and it falters when she sees the vase Mr. Ral is holding.

"Your other comrade is here, too." He tells her.

She nods, her eyes are moist as she holds the vase in her hands.

"You can get… some for you." Mr. Ral proposes. "I think you deserve it. I know what you did for my daughter. Thank you."

She embraces the vase instead of replying. She grabs Mr. Ral's hand and drags him towards the feast.

Jean enjoys the feast.

It didn't feel like a funeral, at all. More like a celebration of sorts. A lot of food, people laughing, talking loudly. Even Mr. Ral smiled at them once in a while. Jean guesses it fits . Rather being sad about the death, they celebrated their lives, instead.

Jean wants to stay but it got a little suffocating. Actually, he was a bit upset because Eren was following Lyanne like a lost dog, and Lyanne kept feeding him. If it's not Eren, who is going to follow Blythe or Lia, it would be Armin. Mikasa just hovers over her sisters. He wants to do that, too. To just… coexist in her bubble. To actually be at the same level of their importance in her life.

He chose to leave the feast for now and sit in the wooden log. It's far from the castle but near enough for him to hear their laughter. He's sitting with the wooden log between his legs and he's about to sit normally when Lyanne comes with a fruit in her hands. His body freezes and his eyes widen.

"Oh? Jean! What are you doing here?"

" I… " he clears his throat. "I... I wanted some fresh air."

"Me too!" Lyanne sits next to him. "Like, man, it was nice but the noise got too much. I'd go back, though. One of the meat with potato dishes was so good. Hopefully, Sasha will spare me some."

Jean doesn't know what to say.

"Want some?" Lyanne offers him a fruit. It's an apple, sliced. "Lia gave me this, I got addicted." She pulls one slice and offers it to Jean. "Here, eat."

Jean remembers how Eren just opens his mouth and Lyanne feeds him readily. Maybe… he opens his mouth and Lyanne just smiles at him. She feeds him a slice and Jean tries to stop himself from smiling.

"Seriously, you kids… you can't feed yourselves or something?" Lyanne eats a piece. "Why are you here, by the way? Just for fresh air?"

Jean's eyes soften. Actually, the feast reminded him a bit more of Marco. He wonders if he should have done something like this for him before. If he should have celebrated his life like they're doing now for the Levi Squad. " Marco… " he answers with a sigh.

"Tell me about him." Lyanne says. "Come on, he must be something special if you're this invested in him, right?"

Jean frowns. "Well," he thinks of Marco's face. He tries to remember how he smiles and how gentle his voice is. "He's a friend." He gazes at Lyanne, who's looking back at him. He tries to memorise every corner of her face, how her eyelashes flutter when she closes her eyes.

"He must be something else to make you have that look in your eyes." She says.

It's you , Jean thinks but he bites his tongue. "Yeah, he's something special." He doesn't look away from her and he's staring at her enough that he realizes that her shoulders are tense and how her jaw clenches sometimes. He blinks. "How about you… are you… okay ?"

Lyanne looks at him and raises an eyebrow. "Me? Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?"

"You had a… you had a terrible week." He answers.

Lyanne laughs out loud and chuckles occasionally as she ends it with eating her fruit. She does this thing with her leg where it bounces. "At least I'm not dead."

Somehow… that feels a little like an end to their conversation.

He looks down at her shoulder, and thinks, maybe, it'll be fine. Just for now… he lays his forehead on her shoulder and waits for a shoe to drop. For her to tell him off, to tell him to not do that, that it makes her uncomfortable.

She doesn't.

She continues eating her apple like he didn't just initiate… intimacy .

He wraps his arms around her middle and scoots over closer.

None.

He guesses it's because her two other sisters are always in physical contact with her and Eren, Armin and Mikasa are the same, she got used to it.

Or maybe, this is just a wishful thinking on his part, she needs the hug as much as he does.

Just a little more … he thinks as he breathes in against her neck. She smells like fruits and something a little flowery. He feels her hand pats his head and it makes him feel a little sleepy. He has a soft smile on his face when he turns his head a bit and sees Mikasa, looming over him.

"AHHHHHHH!" He stumbles backwards and falls down the ground.

Mikasa raises her head and Jean feels like he's looking straight at a titan.

Lyanne smiles at her, though. "Oh, Mika. You're here for fresh air, too?"

"Captain Levi said he's going to share the tea Lia bought for him."

Lyanne stands up and her eyes sparkled. "For real? Damn. Midget actually can share ? I've been wanting to taste that tea when I smelled it! Did a miracle happen or something?" She walks away, leaving Mikasa staring at Jean, like he's dirt .

"Are you coming?" She asks.

"Yeah…"

Mikasa turns around and leaves him. Jean stands up and finds Ymir laughing at him.

" You …" he hisses.

Ymir points at him and continues laughing. "Krista would love this."

"Shut up, Ymir." He grumbles as he heads back to the feast.

At least he'd gotten a hug out of it.

Even if Mikasa is onto him

Even if Ymir thinks he's a joke.

He sighs.

Levi drinks the tea that Lia managed to save for him. He sips and feels the warm, minty liquid inside his mouth. It tastes nice.

The tea leaves are well-liked, too. Even Petra's father takes one for himself and smiles as he drinks.

Lia comes back to his side after she gives the cups she made for her sisters. Levi looks at her, and grabs her wrist and touches where the pulse is alive.

"If we survive this, let's open a tea shop." He tells her softly.

Lia looks surprised for a moment.

"You used to make tea horrendously but it's good. It might sell."

She smiles and replies, "Okay, Sir. Let's open a tea shop."

"Why are you drinking my cup of tea?" Blythe asks as she watches, in horror, when Hanji drinks the same place she had.

"We should buy this, too." Hanji says as they give back the cup. "It tastes really nice ."

"Yeah, but it shouldn't have made you forget about manners. " She mutters as she drinks her tea.

Hanji wraps their arm around Blythe and laughs.

After the feast, Lyanne finds herself outside, on the ground full of grass, laying her head down in Lia's stomach and Blythe laying her head down in hers. She almost falls asleep while Lia is playing with her hair.

Lyanne wants to say a lot of things to them.

Like how the voices came back, how she saw a memory, and how she's so, so tired of all of these.

But… this is good. This is great, even. This quiet moment she's sharing with her sisters. She doesn't want to ruin it.

"Can we sleep like this, you think?" Lyanne asks softly.

"The mosquitos will love that idea." Blythe murmurs. She turns her body a bit and a moment later, she snores.

"She says that but sleeps, anyway."

Lia chuckles and Lyanne feels the vibration at the back of her head. Then, a slow breathing follows.

Lyanne's eyes slowly close too but she sees Eren, Armin and Mikasa walk slowly towards them. She makes a shushing motion and the three of them smile as they get closer. They sit and lay down next to them and Armin whispers, just like when we were kids.

Lyanne smiles, softly, and closes her eyes but before she does, she hears a voice, it's far but she hears it perfectly fine.

Save Eren, Armin and Mikasa.

Notes:

hello, everyone, ryiason here. the reception for this fic has been really good and making us, who are involved on making this fic, happy! so thank you very much. from the bottom of my, lyanne's and megs' heart. we 💖 you.

that said, we will be taking a one week and a half break. hopefully, you'll miss us!

send us questions you want to ask and we will answer before the actual break happens! thank you 💖💖💖

anyway, let's make this official.

this is:

END OF SEASON 1.

Chapter 17: END OF SEASON Q & A

Notes:

Mwah

Chapter Text

Samuel: Hi, Ryiason! I'm a silent reader of the fic and my question is, who is Lia inspired by?

Lyanne: that's a secret

Ryiason: it is them-who-shall-not-be-named.

Megs: ^^^^

Jaguar: Q: if LLB are from the future what are their jobs?

Lyanne: we can't comment to this, because it would confirm or deny that llb are from the future. we can tell our actual majors if you want irl. i'm an architecture student.

Ryiason: physchology

Megs: ive done education studies and english but im mainly an english major as i have a masters in english

LeviLia Angst in CH 14: I want to ask if lia and levi will have a family how many kids would they have

Ryiason: They'll have however many kids you want them to have.

Blythe Martell: what was the inspiration for this fic

Lyanne: ryiason wanted to write a self insert fic and add me and megs into it, and then 2 weeks before the posting of the first chapter, we randomly talked about an aot fix it. seems ridiculous at the time, but after 138 hit us, we said fcvks it. we doing it. and in 5 days we outlined the entire manga, generally, our points, our endgame with the fic. and other stuff. that's literally it. xd and an inspo.. does lyanne's theory for the ending of the manga count? that's it

As soon as ryiason came up w the fix it self insert fic i was game. She knows us more than we know ourselvs at times *perks of being a genius writer i guess* and aot is a world where in my head is very easy ti self insert to. As oposed to say marvel xmen other anime. Also the curiosity if what we can do with it. So i was game frim the get go. and ofc participating in something that to me is a new story of its own, not a fic. Its a part of me. And yea participating in writing something bc im zero on inspo atm and it sadns me

Ryiason: the inspiration just hit me it wasn't anything that groundbreaking

Megs: I WANTED TO GET MY PASSION BACK FOR WRITING AND FOR THE SERIES AND I WANTED TO KNOW WHAT ID BE LIKE IN THST UNIVERSE

Seth: what are your personal favorite scenes? Thank you!

Lyanne: lyanne & grisha moment, and ofc, lyjean in chapter 6. lyanne saying jean is a good person is what i felt myself when i watched s1. as soon as i saw him take charge of the trainees back then i smelled *lol* the character development from a mile away, and knew then that isayama's characters aren't stereotypical shounen characters, and that for the most part it's a misdirect into making you think you know who they are only to bamboozle you further into the story

Ryiason: i'm the author of the story so i don't know what to tell you but i can tell you the times i've cried writing a chapter: blythe having a mental breakdown over carla's death and levi deciding to abandon the bodies but lia decided to fight for it

Megs: my personal favourite was Blythe's meltdown over Carla, i think it said a lot about who she is and what she represents.

Hello ryiason my darkness my old friend: if lia bly and lya were from marley what would happen thanks

Lyanne: if we were marleynians, we'd be poor and have shitty lives like irl. if we were eldians. poor, shitty lives + discrimination hhhh

Ryiason: it's less zeke + characters here and more discrimination. and more discrimination coming my way but that's neither here or there lol

Megs : Blythe in marley? oooof, she's either going to be like Pieck or she's going to dislike Zeke and want to find out more so she will get close until its time to step away i assume

Guest: Is Lia a person of color? The tanned skin comment made me think

Lyanne: all we will say for now is that she is woc, yes. what exactly, you'll have to stick around and find out.

Ryiason: guess you can say her race/ethnicity is a plot point

Megs: ^^^

Mango: what's llb's sexualities?

Lyanne: bisexual

Lia: not straight

Blythe: not straight

Mango: can you give us more stories about llb + ema when they lived together pls 😭😭😭

Ryiason: if i can, i will. i'm glad you love their relationship

Lyanne: They will come with the story as flashbacks and w ema same, or in the form of bonus chapters. And on llb stories, well. Spoilers ;)

Megs: ^^^

Mango: how did llb call themselves sisters what was the conversation

Megs: I can't think of much, i will say that llb's bond felt like a found family and they know nothing better than having each other as family

Lyanne: we are bffs irl so it was natural fir us to make them sisters like.

Ryiason: no conversation it just felt right to llb to call each other sisters

Mango: is blythe canonically gay?

Megs: she is 100% LGBT. pansexual? if you will, but it wouldnt be disrespectful if you headcanon her as something else as long as you know she isn't straight

Mango: if there's one scene in the fic you could change (because its aot driven) what would it be and why?

thank you

Lyanne: hm. honestly, just show more of mikasa's trauma in regards to her idea of love, platonic or romantic. a lot if people dont really get it tbh, i guess its also yams, in his head it makes sense but many miss it. also it didnt help that wit changed like 60% of her dialogue into EREH, from her actually having independent thoughts and development, and caring about everyone, not just eren. eren ofc, but she does care about the rest. In rest. Honestly we already changing stuff i would necessarily change. And tbh, i get where yams was goinf w it, so every scene has its purpure.

One thibg i would add is, more mikasa and levi development after levi learned he was an ackerman. I feel like yams missed a lot there. His family *blood* is gone and suddently he has family out there and they glossed iver it.

Megs: one scene i would change? maybe i'd change the start and have blythe get even more emotionally scarred by carla's death i just always wanted to know for myself what i would do in that situation

Ryiason: she's a terrible person (write that DOWN)

Ryiason: one scene? Oof im the writer lol so this is hard but id say maybe? expanding more in ema's rl with llb or how levi and lia met when i wrote it i thought heh sounds interesting

UnionPcw: for question can I headcanon Lia as trans? She's my favorite character and I would like to be her one day :)

Ryiason: yes, you can headcanon her as trans. you can headcanon her as anything. when i wrote her and you started reading, she became yours and no longer mine. if you think she's trans she is. and also you will, you will be the badass woman who will take no shit except levi because hes your boss

Lyanne : Where to start, life is truly kicking my ass right now, and honestly, this fic and the lil community we are growing here with the readers, is really helping me a lot. Brings me so much joy, from outlining and thinkibg the chapters events to readibg the comments. So much joy, yall really helping tour girl right now keeping her mind occupied and busy. All hugs and love here, love yall, truly. ❤

Ryiason: i am very proud of this fic, of us, and of you, my dear readers. 😘 see you in season two

Megs: season 1 was so fun to help create for you all, thank you for the love you show our characters and to ryiason's writing they really are something special, take care everyone! wasn't this chapter lovely?!

WEEK BREAK IS STILL HAPPENING. WE WILL BE BACK IN A WEEK AND A HALF. IF YOU HAVE MORE QUESTIONS, COMMENT DOWN BELOW! MWAH!

Chapter 18: Warrior

Notes:

HELLO EVERYONE WE'RE BACK IN BUSINESS 💞💞💞 THANK YOU FOR WAITING YOUR COMMENTS ARE HILARIOUS AND WONDERFUL WE APPRECIATE THEM ALL 💓💓💓

Chapter Text

The sun is already setting when they finish cleaning up the remnants of the feast from last night. Hanji keeps on saying all of them would finish early if Levi wasn't such a stickler to his cleaning ways. Levi just gives Hanji more jobs and it takes Moblit and Blythe a lot of begging so Hanji wouldn't push all of Levi's buttons.

This job is harder than it looks.

Lia walks the Hanji Squad out of the castle when they leave. Blythe is too tired to do anything other than hugging Lyanne goodbye and giving the kids foreheads kisses.

"I gave Moblit the leftover food. You guys can probably eat it until dinner tomorrow." Lia informs Blythe.

Blythe gives Moblit and Hanji a look where the both of them are whispering with each other. Moblit can deny it all he wants but he's also an enabler of Hanji's antics. "Yeah, thanks, Lee. From what I can see, we won't have time to cook anything. Squad Leader Hanji wants to study the Female Titan so bad…" she glances at Lia. "You fought her, right? How strong was she?"

"Me?" Lia blinks, then, shakes her head. "It wasn't me who fought her. There was an abnormal chasing us at the same time we were pursuing the Female Titan. The one who fought Leonhart is Jean and Reiner."

Blythe is surprised to hear that. "Really?"

"Yes. Haven't I told you guys that?"

"No." Blythe answers but she hasn't really asked. Maybe, she should have. "So, Jean and Reiner were the one who fought Leonhart?"

"Not… really? I guess you could say that but what happened was Jean attacked her first, actually. But she managed to recover from that and attacked Armin. That was when another titan came in. I had to kill it first before I helped with Leonhart. Then, Armin started screaming something… to confuse her, I think. Then, Reiner attacked but she got him trapped with her hand but he managed to survive. Then, we started running away after that."

Blythe feels the time stops. That piece of information changes quite a lot. "I'm guessing that's when Leonhart chased the location where Lyanne is."

"Yes. That's what Armin said." Lia frowns at Blythe. "Is there something I should know?"

"No." Blythe lies. She's not exactly lying , anyway. There's not much information Blythe has for her to pin something on anybody. "If I do know something, I'll tell you. I promise."

Lia nods but replies nothing.

If Blythe ever does tell Lia what she thinks… what can she possibly say to make it better for her, when the people she cared about ended up dying? Or for Lyanne who still blamed herself from failing an expedition that didn't have anything to do with her?

What can she possibly say so the words that will leave her mouth won't feel like broken glass and ashes?

When they reach the stables, Lia hugs Blythe tight and whispers be careful, okay?

Blythe smiles, a little. A genuine one she can muster.

But it's hard when she has an inkling on what else is about to come.

Lyanne watches Hanji excitedly read Blythe's journals about Lyanne's progress on her titan form. She has seen this a few times but it's strange and she hasn't really gotten used to it.

"Tomorrow, we will do another round of exercises." Hanji announces. "This time, we'll try to see what else you can do with your titan strength and if we can actually make it stronger ."

Lyanne's eyes glaze over. Remembering how she almost failed another expedition and how she almost lost everybody she ever loved because she has no conviction. Jean blamed Eren, and if she asked Armin or Mikasa, they'd probably say the same thing. If she asks Blythe or Lia, they'd probably say it's nobody else's fault; just circumstances clashing at the wrong time.

And maybe, they're right. But Lyanne should have known better. She should have done better .

Her thoughts get cut off when suddenly, the door opens and they all turn their heads to watch Erwin enter the room, like it's no big deal.

It is a big deal.

Erwin isn't the type to go anywhere that won't affect him positively. Every move he makes is a part of a grand scheme of things. Lyanne can't think of a reason for Erwin to come here, in her usual check-up, without it being a plan to manipulate anything in his favor.

It makes her brain muddle with warnings.

"How are things?" Erwin asks, as he walks closer to them.

Hanji blinks at him. "Oh, well… we just finished checking Lyanne. We're actually -"

"Is that so?" Erwin asks. "Can I borrow Lyanne, then?"

Hanji glances at Lyanne, and when Lyanne nods, they stand up and awkwardly leave the room.

Erwin sits across Lyanne, the very same seat Hanji occupied.

"How are you?"

She raises an eyebrow. "You want me to answer that?"

Erwin doesn't seem to notice the sarcasm. Or he does, but he doesn't particularly care. It's always the latter with this guy. "I just want to know how you are."

"Tell that to someone that will believe your lies."

He just stares at Lyanne.

"What?"

"Am I someone you thought deserves to be the Commander of the Survey Corps?"

Lyanne blinks at him. "What is this about? And all of a sudden? " She asks, incredulously.

Erwin shrugs and leans forward. He taps the table with his index finger and glances at her. "I just want to know your opinion. A question, perhaps."

This is the most surreal situation Lyanne has ever been in. She must be dreaming because how is Commander Erwin Smith, who planned a suicide trap for everyone just to get what he wants with no prior suggestions from anybody, is asking her if he deserves to be the Commander?

Fucking unhinged of a moron, is what she wants to say but bites her tongue.

Erwin is insane but there's a reason why the person before him chose him as a successor of the position. It means he's a good leader but it doesn't necessarily mean he's a good man. He's good at serving his purpose but never one to show sympathy to what he said he's fighting for .

"I wouldn't be here if I thought you're terrible." she settles with. There's too much to say and not enough words to convey what exactly Erwin is.

"You don't think any of what I have done is the right decision." He adds.

"Does it matter if it's right?" She asks drily. She thinks of Petra, Oluo, Gunther and Eld. She thinks of the rest of the bodies they had to leave behind. And thinks of Leonhart, who's currently crystalized. They all made their decisions, just as Lyanne had. And they are all facing the consequences. It's just a matter if the result of what they chose was worth it.

"If you were in my position," Erwin's voice brings her back to reality. "What would you have done?"

What would she do if she was Erwin? Blythe chose to follow Erwin's plan, regardless of what she felt. Not because it was the right thing, but because it was the only available option. Lia chose to follow what Levi decided, because she trusted Levi would choose what he thought is the best path.

But if it was her…

"I'd think of what exactly I'm fighting for." She answers, softly. Blythe. Lia. And the world they can be at peace. "And operate everything I do after, on that ."

Erwin smiles, seeing the look on her eyes. Lyanne hasn't seen this smile before. "Nobody is born a leader; they're made . All you need to have is a strong conviction and a strong faith of what you believe in. Everything after that will follow." He looks away to gaze at the window instead. The sun is high. "You exactly have those qualities."

"Why are you telling me this?" She blurts out.

Erwin lifts the corner of his mouth. Not exactly a smile but it's something. "You'll know when the time comes."

Lyanne feels dread coming up from the very pit of her stomach as she stares at Erwin.

A part of her doesn't want that time to come.

Armin wipes the new equipment that was delivered to the barracks. Lia said something about how the previous expeditions broke most of their available gears and Erwin managed to swindle some from the higher-ups. Lia's words , not his but Armin would probably describe it just the same.

Mikasa finishes the gear she's cleaning and asks, "Where do I put this?"

"On the side, against the wall." Lia answers, grinning softly. "Good work, Mika."

Mikasa's cheeks go red as she looks down at the equipment she cleaned.

"How are you that fast?" Eren mutters, his face screams envy . "I want to be complimented, too."

Lia chuckles warmly. "I'll compliment you even if you don't do well, Eren. You, too, Armin."

Armin giddily smiles at Lia. He remembers something like this happening before, when the six of them were living together in a quiet part of the town. Lia was in-charge of the house and she told Armin, Eren and Mikasa to clean while Blythe and Lyanne were out to buy some wanted to move the table but he was too weak. He remembered being upset about it, and being jealous of Eren and Mikasa, because they were strong and bright where Armin was weak and dim. But Lia was there for him in a second, telling him he should do what he could or Lia could help him.

You're not alone, Lia had said. I'm here .

"Ah!" Eren excitedly exclaims. "I'm done , too!" He looks at Lia and grins.

"Good job, Eren ."

Eren grins harder.

Armin is still cleaning his but that's okay. "By the way, where's Lyanne and Blythe? I haven't seen them around." They usually find Lia, Eren, Mikasa and him to have a few moments of time to spend together. It's usually after Blythe finishes Lyanne's daily check ups.

"Lyanne is with Reiner." Lia answers. "Doing their weird physical training stuff. Reiner is obsessed with learning new tricks. Blythe took Bertholdt to clean Hanji's office." Her eyes harden and Armin catches it before Lia blinks it away.

Something about the way Lia looked makes Armin's guts turn. He wants to ask her what's wrong but his mind just registers about how Lyanne is with Reiner and Blythe is with Bertholdt.

He's always been a little afraid that his sisters might find someone who is better than he is and decide to just leave. But they're a little too kind to do that, they'd probably wait until they think Armin is ready to be left behind and then, and then… and then.

"Miss Lia," Krista's voice calls from outside the door. "Captain Levi asked for you."

Lia stands up and offers the three of them. "I'll come back. Captain Levi probably just wanted some tea."

Armin's tongue curls. He wants to tell stay with him, to not leave , that he'll do better. He's always been thinking this way every time he sees them being close to someone else - it's not normal to think that way, to want somebody that much but Armin can't help it.

They're all he has.

He watches Lia walk out the door and wonders what would happen if she knew what he's thinking about.

Lia is not stupid.

She knew that there's something going on but she has no way of stopping it. All she can do is protect the people she loves to the worst of them.

This reminds her of the time Blythe had seen Carla die before it actually happened. The helplessness she felt because she didn't know how to fix it for her or how to protect Lyanne.

She closes her eyes after she finishes pouring hot water in Levi's tea. What is she doing? Is this what she should do? Is this enough to protect anybody she has to protect?

It's not .

But what else can she do?

"An apple ." Connie comments, drily. "You're getting Humanity's Last Hope an apple?"

"She looks upset these past few days, okay? I thought this would cheer her up." Jean defends himself and his very simple and cheap apple. He remembers how she looked happy eating it during the feast. He walks inside the kitchen and takes a knife.

"No, I get that." Connie replies. "I'm just saying, an apple ?"

Jean doesn't bother answering. All Connie is going to say back is something annoying, anyway.

The reason why he bought an apple for Lyanne is because she's not… she's not smiling. And she always finds a reason to leave before Jean could talk to her, before he could ask why she looks upset. It reminds him of the time he joined the Survey Corps and she was in the corner, sweeping her eyes at the new recruits with no emotion whatsoever. It was the time Jean swore to himself to always do his best to bring her smile back.

The only time Jean had seen her where she looked less upset is around her sisters and Reiner. Even Eren had noticed it, and it takes a lot for Eren to notice anything.

"Make sure Sasha won't know I have an apple." Jean says.

Connie raises an eyebrow. "I make no promises."

Jean leaves his very-annoying friend and tries to find Lyanne around the castle. He finds her in one of the hallways with a big window and Lyanne is looking out. The sun hits her face and the light makes her eyes glow lighter, and it makes Jean's breath hitch.

His steps are light and small but it takes him no surprise to find Lyanne has heard him coming.

"Lya -"

" Kirstein, " she calls and she never - she never said her name like that before. She calls him Jean . Like a friend.

Calling him by his last name is forcing him to treat her like a superior. The way she always is.

"Yes, Miss Lyanne." He answers. He salutes her, with the apple in his hand and a knife to the other. Her eyes flicker towards the fruit but say nothing.

"At ease." She orders. She walks towards him and nods before leaving.

"Lya - Miss Lyanne -"

"My apologies, Kirstein. " Lyanne says with a professional smile. "I can't accommodate you right now. If you have something for me as your superior, I would gladly suggest you talk to Lia or Blythe about it."

A dismissal , he thinks. Horrified. She's dismissing me.

"No, ma'am." He croaks out. He tightens his hold with the apple. He bought this with his last money for this month. It turned out to be a mistake. "I'm sorry for bothering you."

Lyanne turns around and leaves him in the middle of the hallway. Jean is forced to watch her go.

It takes a few moments before Jean realizes his chest constricts and he can't breathe .

"Are you…" Blythe sighs. "How's your physical training with Reiner?"

Lyanne looks up at her and looks back down to 'watch' Blythe writes her progress for the check-up. "Yes."

Blythe stops writing. "Lya…"

"He's good ." Lyanne cuts her off. "He's been doing really well. He can do some of the moves I do, you know? If he practices it more, he can do it better than I am."

"Are you…"

"Blythe," she calls. The tone of her voice, Blythe has heard it once before. "Is it wrong to believe in people?"

Something about that makes her feel electrified. Blythe bites her bottom lip until she tastes her own blood.

"If I say yes, would you listen to me?"

Lyanne gazes at Blythe. And this time, she doesn't back down.

She opens her mouth and -

"Thanks, Bertholdt. As you can see, Squad Leader Hanji's office is a… well, a disaster is being kind…"

"It's okay, Miss Blythe." Bertholdt nods as he takes the papers that are on the floor. "I'll, uh, start."

Blythe watches as the boy does his job. He seems very organized, knows his way to do his work and is a bit mysterious. That's not a bad thing. It just means he's a bit more reserved than, say, Reiner who is supposed to be the recruit that he's closest with, even during their trainees days.

She doesn't want to judge Bertholdt. There are a lot of reasons to be quiet. Maybe, he's a bit like her, maybe there are just some things he can't say. A disturbing past, maybe. A worrying present. An uncertain future. Those kinds of things. And she can relate. She can understand.

She needs to understand.

"Did you grow up here?" She asks. She also starts cleaning the places she can touch.

It takes a beat of silence before Bertholdt answers. "Yes."

"Where were you from?"

Bertholdt looks away before answering, "Same us Reiner. We… we grew up together."

Blythe supposes that answer is enough. She smiles at him. "Thank you," she says. "Bertholdt."

He turns his head to meet her eyes.

Yeah. That answer is enough.

"- yes." Lyanne answers. "Of course. I… it's… unconditional. " Lyanne's belief, faith, trust and love for Blythe is unconditional. It doesn't matter if it's wrong. Lyanne will always, always believe her first.

"It's not… it's not wrong. " Blythe replies, her throat feels tight. "That's one of your best qualities. It's not wrong to believe in the good of people, Lyanne."

Lyanne doesn't look convinced.

In a way, Blythe isn't either.

But, "Reiner is a good man." Lyanne says.

"Yes," Blythe answers. Whatever that means to him , she thinks. "I'm sure he is."

A few days later, Jean finds himself in the same carriage as Commander Erwin. They stop at a place Jean doesn't recognize. Erwin opens the door of the carriage and finds Captain Levi, Lia and Blythe besides him. Lyanne behind them and Eren, Mikasa and Armin surrounding the group.

"The three of us will be going to the government's office to have a meeting. The rest of you, check on the Female Titan and report back to me. Levi," Erwin calls. "You're in-charge."

Jean tries to look at Lyanne, one last time. For her to give him even just a tiny bit of attention, just to confirm she's fine.

She doesn't spare him a glance, not even a breath.

"Dismissed." Erwin announces. Everyone salutes except for Captain Levi who looks like he has something more better to do.

Levi starts turning around and says, "Lia, with me." And everybody follows him.

Even just half a second , Jean prays. Just look at me .

Lyanne doesn't.

She walks away and Jean is forced to watch her go.

Erwin closes the carriage's door and gives Jean a look. "Let's go!" He exclaims.

Jean looks away first.

"- yeah, the girl in the tavern flirted with me! I'm sure she was -"

A roaring laughter. "If that's true, she'll be stupid to be with you -"

Rory rolls his eyes as he tries to stay far, far away from his own co-workers. They're always like this: always talking about women like they're objects and act like the women owe them something if they start looking at their way. All he wants to do is finish his task so he could eat some snacks. He hasn't had any breakfast so he's a bit hungry. He taps the wall, and looks at it closely to find any damage. He finds a slight dent that makes him curse in his head. That's paperwork I need to do , he thinks drily. He starts tapping the dent with a bit more force to actually see what kind of damage it has when it starts crumbling. His life flashes through his eyes when he sees an eye, staring at the other side of the wall like it's a scenery worthy of a stare.

The eye… it belongs to a titan.

"What the fuck…" a voice mutters. Scared.

Rory glares at his coworkers. "What are you still doing? Go down and tell somebody about this shit!"

All of them fly back down like dogs with their tails between their legs.

A priest giving them a piece of information they didn't know about a titan is probably something Blythe would have laughed at if someone told her about it.

But here she is, watching as her comrades actually cover the titan's eye because it's apparently important for it not to see the sunlight.

An important information that could probably help the Survey Corps was hidden from them. An information that could help so many of his comrades. An information this simple was given to them, by a priest.

Blythe watches as Hanji dangles the priest over the wall, he's telling Hanji something, something about how it was important to keep quiet, how none of them will talk even if they get killed -

- Blythe dreams of people begging her to save them from being a mindless titan, choosing Lyanne over humanity, choosing -

"Drop him, then." Blythe blurts. Devoid of emotions, she says, " Drop him."

"Wha- what are you -" the priest's eyes are wide and afraid. As he should .

"It's so easy for you to say to just kill you because you won't talk. Like death is just that simple. Maybe, it is. Maybe we are desensitized with killing, we'll do exactly just that." Blythe turns her head towards Hanji, and she makes every word count. "If he wants to die so badly, then just give it to him."

She almost feels a mirage of sadistic pleasure when she sees the priest physically flinch.

Erwin has always described Lyanne as a beast . She always knows what she wants, when she wants it, and how she's going to get it. It's one of the reasons why Erwin was interested, something about Lyanne's quality speaks to him, about how someone with that much drive and will to do what she wants is someone they need in the Survey Corps.

Hanji guesses it's their own mistake to not notice. If Lyanne is a beast, her sister can't be that far off.

Of course, Blythe will be her own brand of monster. The kind that's hidden in the shadows. Hanji shouldn't be surprised but this is the first time they see Blythe like this, the one who speaks with no emotion. The one who's not afraid to deliver what most people can't.

Or maybe this is the real one all along.

"I see. So, you're interested in titans?" Hanji asks.

Blythe, her name is, nods.

Hanji blinks at her and shrugs. Apparently, this Blythe personally asked Erwin to be in Hanji's squad. It's the first time that someone has done that. Usually, Erwin will just randomly place anyone in squads. Hanji can't help but be curious.

"Can I ask why?"

Hanji feels it. The change in Blythe's position. Her eyes have different glints in them, a dangerous one. Hanji can feel their spine shiver in anticipation or fear, they can't really tell.

"A friend of mine died because of them." She answers slowly. "I guess, you could say I'm interested in them because I wanted to know the best way to get revenge."

Hanji pulls the priest back and throws him somewhere far away from them and Blythe.

The priest chokes on his own spit, and Hanji listens to him as they sit on the edge of the wall. Their hands are shaking, and they slowly close their eyes to breathe.

Drop him . Blythe had said. If Blythe was the one in Hanji's position… she probably wouldn't hesitate.

"Squad Leader Hanji…" Moblit murmurs, worried.

"It was just a joke ." Hanji replies. "It got out of hand." Hanji's hands wouldn't stop shaking.

Moblit walks closer to them and calls their name one last time.

...the best way to get revenge .

Somewhere along the line, Hanji forgets what exactly they were afraid of.

Mikasa has always wondered what exactly Lia has seen with Captain Levi to always be that loyal towards him. Sometimes, the answers come to her in battle. Levi is their strongest and fastest soldier. He's the one who saved Lyanne while Mikasa was the reason why he got injured.

And the answer comes to her now, as well. With him pointing a gun at the priest like it's absolutely nothing.

"...nevermind that." Levi says. "Hanji, you're creeping me out with how you're rolling that tooth between your fingers. And since when have you become interested in rocks?"

Hanji blinks. "This is Lyanne's tooth."

Levi raises an eyebrow. "Doesn't make it any better, Shitty Four Eyes."

"And… this… rock … isn't just any rock. This is the fragment of the Female Titan's hardened skin that she left behind."

Armin's eyes are wide. "It's still here?"

Hanji nods. "Well, I understand if you're creeped out about the tooth. But think about it," they lean forward and the cart rocks a bit. "Lyanne is a titan, isn't she? This tooth should have vanished minutes, or seconds, even, but this one stayed, just like the hardened skin of the Female Titan! Even when Leonhart turned into human, or when Lyanne broke her tooth in human form…"

"What does that mean?" Levi asks.

"It means… we could probably use Lyanne to seal the hole in the wall."

"Use Lyanne…" Eren's voice is shaking. "To seal the wall?"

"If Lyanne can leave behind the petrified body without it evaporating like this tooth… like Leonbart did with her body… then maybe…" Hanji sighs. "But that's only if it's possible…"

Armin looks thoughtful for a moment and suddenly says, "How about we do the operation at night?"

Mikasa chooses to tune whatever they're about to say next to see what Lyanne's expression is, considering this is about her .

Nothing.

Her face remains emotionless.

Lia is laying her head down in Lyanne's shoulder, half asleep and Blythe is holding Lyanne's hand on the other.

Mikasa wants to touch them, too. To feel their presence. To make them feel like they're safe because Mikasa is here. But there's a barrier, a wall, that Mikasa can't jump over. She's afraid they won't let her in if she asks.

"- pends if Lyanne can seal the hole…"

They all look at Lyanne but she says nothing. The silence seems to be a little stilted, the kind of quiet that makes everyone uncomfortable.

It's Levi who breaks it. "It's not a matter if she can. Do it."

Lyanne and Levi meet each other's eyes.

Levi adds, firmly. "You know what's at stake if we fail even once. You have to succeed."

Lyanne breathes. "Of course."

"And the two of you," Levi points his eyes towards her and Eren. "Protect Lyanne with everything that you have. Just like her, failure is not an option. Don't mess up and protect her."

"Yes, Sir." Mikasa and Eren answer.

A few moments later, Hanji announces they're almost at Ehrmich District.

"So, this is it for The Minister, Lia and me…" Levi murmurs. "I'll leave the rest to you. Erwin decided all of you to make up an improvised team. Armin, just keep whacking your brain together with Hanji and her assistant, understand?"

"Y-yes, Sir!"

Levi gives them all one look of don't disappoint me . " No room for failures, brats. Remember that."

"How is she?" Lyanne asks one of her comrades who's currently helping Ymir to get on the wall.

"Well," he mutters. "She lost her right arm and right left. They said her organs are like scrambled eggs… it's enough to kill a normal person."

Normal, huh? Lyanne thinks. In the corner of her eyes, she sees Reiner having a hard time coming up the wall. She doesn't hesitate to offer her hands. "Here, Rei . Grab on."

Reiner catches Lyanne's hand and murmurs a gripping thanks before he's safely seated on top of the walls.

She sees Armin next and she immediately offers her hand and helps him up. She hears Reiner whimpering behind her. "Are you okay, Rei?" She asks softly.

"No! A titan chewed through my arm! What do I do, Lyanne? I might be done."

Lyanne snorts. "So, even someone like you could be like that…"

"What are you talking about? Ask your sister! Even ask Armin! This is the second time this happened to me! Right, Armin? I was stuck inside a titan's hand before…"

"Oh," Armin mutters. "That time…"

"I know I chose this path by myself but being a soldier… wears your body down." Reiner sighs deeply. "Well, maybe I shouldn't be whining when we still have a hole to plug."

"Yeah…" Lyanne answers as she starts walking. "You guys keep being pulled away from your… hometown … maybe, you should go back."

That's when Bertholdt exclaims. "That's right, Reiner! Let's go back to our hometown! We can finally go back! After everything we've been through, it's just a little further!"

Lyanne doesn't need to turn around to know what kind of stupid expression Reiner has on his face.

They all stop moving when they see Hannes coming up.

"There is no hole." is the first thing he says.

"What?" Hanji asks. "Are you sure?"

"I am! We looked all night but from district to district, there is nothing."

"What did you say?" Hanji's voice rises.

"We ran into the troops from Krolva district and doubled back. We didn't run into any titans either."

"But there's definitely titans inside the walls!" Eren insists. "Were you really looking? Are you drunk?"

"As if I could drink!" Hannes exclaims. "And what are you guys doing here?"

Before anybody could answer, Hanji saves it with, "If there's no hole in the wall, we have no choice. Let's go to Trost District and wait for standby." They order.

All of them nod and start moving to leave.

"Could it be a titan that could dig underground? That would be a problem…" Hanji says before they completely fade away from Lyanne's earshot.

Lyanne is about to follow when Reiner calls for her.

"Lyanne…."

She closes her eyes, hard and bites her lip.

" Lyanne …"

She turns around and stares at Reiner. "What?"

Reiner's face couldn't be explained. "Lyanne… I-"

"- still can't believe I've been practicing this move for days and I still can't pull it off."

Lyanne snorts. "You just started practicing it a while ago. I assure you, it's normal. You're just easily frustrated."

Reiner pouts.

She chuckles at his face. "Rei, please. Don't need to pout over it. Come on! How about you teach me your moves?"

"What?" Reiner frowns at her.

"Isn't it good if you see me failing the techniques you know? I'll show you that I can't learn something as fast as you think I could! Come on, show me a move."

"Now?"

"No, tomorrow." Lyanne rolls her eyes. "Of course, now! Go! Show me!"

Reiner looks hesitant for a moment but breathes in and grins after. "Okay."

Lyanne raises an eyebrow and grins back. She watches as Reiner starts moving his body when she feels a wave of a headache coming in. Not a normal one. The kind of headache that also affects her vision.

It starts off blurry, like an image being shown underwater. Until it starts being clearer, and clearer.

And it's the Armored Titan doing the same thing as Reiner.

Save them.

Lyanne isn't entirely sure what happened after that. But she remembers Jean coming to her with an apple. Something they shared during the feast. Didn't they have fun at the feast? Wasn't it a moment for everyone to celebrate? Reiner was there… he had fun, too.

And, yet… he still…

She hasn't forgotten her purpose. She's here for Blythe and Lia. For Eren, Mikasa and Armin.

Lyanne decided to ignore Jean Kirstein. Because after all, betrayal doesn't come from the enemy.

Lyanne smiles. She hopes it looks as exactly as she feels.

"We need to talk." Reiner finishes.

Chapter 19: The Armored Titan

Notes:

TW: jean's pov got a small, mildly detailed panic attack if that doesnt sound like something you want to read

FIND IN PAGE Jean doesn't need to hear skip skip skip until breathe instead.

lia will be the next pov that will imply what happened to jean but nothing much is said so yeaaaH.

also, i listened to this song repeat. lofi is hella good when ur writing im sharing bc i want yall to listen to it as well and feel inspired

/vy63u2hKoPE

follow me on twitter: ryiason

love y'all

Chapter Text

"Five years ago…" Reiner starts. He doesn't look completely out of his element, Lyanne is impressed. "We destroyed the Wall and began our attack on humanity…" he gulps, and looks at her like he wants her to understand. "I'm the Armored Titan and he's the Colossal Titan -"

"I know. " Lyanne says. She's surprised her voice doesn't waver. Because her heart is beating wildly against her chest. She called him Rei . They spent time together. He was like a little brother to her. "Did you think I'm dumb?"

Reiner gasps softly. He takes one step backwards. " You … know?"

"Was it fun to use me to get what you want?" She asks him. Her voice doesn't sound like her at all, it's like she's watching a different scene that doesn't involve her. That doesn't involve Reiner betraying her trust. "Did you get it, at least? What you were trying to take? You should. To get your acting's worth."

"I didn't - I didn't use you - that was - that was different!" Reiner pleads. "Believe me, I treated you like a sister -"

But Lyanne is not having it. She cuts her off. "How is that different? You gained my trust, you're about to tell me to come with you. If not, I know you're going to take me by force. That's what you wanted to do. That was the whole plan."

Reiner shakes his head. "That's not… that was true… that was… everything about that is real , Lyanne, believe me - I didn't do that to take you - to use you - I - at least believe me when I say the time I spent with you was true -"

"Then, tell me it's a joke." She decides. That's right. Reiner is still Reiner, isn't he? He hasn't… he broke the walls. Killed thousands of their people but he's still… "You're tired. Right, Bertholdt? " She turns her head towards Hoover, who looks like he's caught taking the last sliced bread. "He's just tired and he's kidding. So are you. It has been a few tiring weeks, and it happened back to back. I'm tired, too."

Bertholdt doesn't answer her, he looks down instead.

All Lyanne wants is for everything to go back the way it was. She just wants them to tell her that it's a lie, that it's a mistake. She could turn a blindeye on everything else.

She's giving them a chance to lie to her. She's giving them a chance to deceive her and she's oddly fine with that, if ever.

"Maybe, you're right… maybe, I'm just tired…"

Lyanne breathes in. That's good enough for her. "Come on. We're going to town."

"I've probably been here for too long…" He mutters, his voice shaking. His eyes wide and there's an unexplainable expression on his face. "Surrounded by idiots… being with you… teaching me how to fight… treating me like a little brother… I… there's a limit to my sanity, Lyanne…"

"Reiner…" Bertholdt calls, his voice isn't any better.

"We didn't know anything… we were just kids… maybe if I met you a little earlier on, it would have been different…" Reiner continues. "But I didn't… Now, I became a halfhearted piece of shit. I don't know what's right anymore but I…" he takes the sling off his arm. "...need to take consequence of my actions…" He holds up his arm and that's when Lyanne sees that it's letting out some steam. Like a… titan. "And carry out my duty as a warrior."

"Are you serious, Reiner? Right here? Right now?" Bertholdt asks, in panic.

He made his decision, Lyanne thinks as she watches both Rei… no, Braun and Hoover stand tall. In some ways, she expected it. She knows what she wants and what would happen can't correlate with each other. She was a fool to believe but she wanted for it to be true.

A warrior , Braun called himself. A warrior . Not a soldier. He's not one of them.

He never was.

"Yeah! We decide now, Bertholdt ! We decide this right here!"

Braun and Hoover start transforming but Mikasa is faster. She starts to cut Braun's wrist and it flies over to the ground. She snarls, baring her teeth at Hoover and attacks him, too.

It's too fast. Too soon . It's too… there are so many things she still wants to say. But there's no time. No time and no choice.

" LYANNE! GET OUT OF THERE !" Armin's voice rings in her ears.

"RUN, LYANNE! " She hears Mikasa exclaim.

But she couldn't move her feet fast enough. Not when Braun glances at her, with an apologetic look in his eyes. It's not wrong to believe in the good of people is what Blythe had told her. If it isn't… then why is this happening to her?

To them?

She isn't wrong to believe, then what was?

Normally, what Mikasa has done could kill a man. But titans work differently. Even if Braun lost an entire wrist and hand, even if Hoover looks like he got mauled by a bear, they're still alright.

She feels ashamed when she sees they're still alive.

Braun meets her eyes, a split second before he transforms - I'm sorry, forgive me, I wish I could have done better, I wish, I wish, I wish - but when Lyanne said I know , she just didn't meant that she knew about him being the Armored Titan.

She knows that this is the last time she could see him as her friend . He's nothing but a traitor to her now. Nothing but the enemy of hers. The one who would harm her and her sisters.

She puts her hand between her teeth, stares straight back at Reiner Braun. Hopefully, he can see the faint fuck off as she bites to hurt her enough to fight.

Jean fidgets in his seat as he hears people talking. "There are really no titans?" He asks.

"Looks like it." One of the soldiers grunts at him as an answer. "I thought it was oddly quiet."

Jean looks down at his hands. He keeps playing with them because he couldn't keep himself still. "I wonder if they're alive…" and his mind wanders to a certain person he's been trying to shake his mind off about. "She's probably okay, too…" he murmurs as he glances up to Lia, who's sitting next to Captain Levi. If he doesn't know any better, he would think Captain Levi is posturing to make the other soldiers stay away from Lia. His arm is lying still at the back of where Lia is seated.

Jean sighs, and leans backwards. He's tired, he can't believe Lya… Miss Lyanne just followed Commander Erwin around like this before. He's about to close his eyes when someone comes in, exclaiming, "THE ADVANCE PARTY IS BACK! SOMEBODY TELL COMMANDER PIXIS!"

Everyone starts gathering around as they hear it. The soldier falls down on his knees and starts catching his breath. He looks up, wheezing when he sees Commander Pixis walking towards him. "Sir…"

"At ease, soldier. What happened?"

"We… we found no holes or any other irregularities in the wall…"

"I see…"

"B-but the situation has turned into an emergency! On our way back to report to Trost District, we encountered the Survey Corps team led by Hanji! There were a number of unequipped recruits from the 104th with them…" the soldier starts to cough and wheeze again. Commander Pixis about to make him stop but the soldier shakes his head and exclaims, "and three of those recruits were titans !"

Jean is astounded to hear that. What does he mean there are three titans? Does that mean… he pushes his way to the front and demands, "There are three titans? Who are they ?"

"Jean," Erwin raises his arm to stop him. "Wait. When they were revealed, what happened?"

"The Survey Corps engaged the Colossal Titan and Armored Titan! By the time we joined the battle, it was over…"

"How's Lyanne?" Lia asks.

The soldier looks startled when he sees her. He flinches when their eyes meet. "I'm sorry… but she was taken… she -"

Jean doesn't need to hear what the soldier is about to say next. She was taken is enough. Lyanne was taken. By the people who were in the same team as he is. People who knew what she had to sacrifice to get here. People who knew what she had to go through to save their asses. They witness what she had to do to be Humanity's Last Hope. And yet, still… still .

His chest constricts and his entire world shifts into a suffocating box. Nothing feels real. All he hears is she was taken over and over again. He hears himself trying to breathe, and he could - he could breathe , he just doesn't know how when -

She was taken.

Jean falls down to his knees and clutches his chest and he feels multiple people touching him and a very distant are you okay? Hey! Kid! Are you okay?

I don't know , he wants to say but he lets out a deep breath instead.

Three ? Lia thinks. Three titans. She was suspicious of Braun and Hoover, so there's no doubt in her mind that those are two of the titans the soldier had told them. She's not sure of the other one… but if the remaining nameless titan is with Braun and Hoover, she just has no choice but to kill them.

In her mind, all of these would get solved if she just murders everybody who's trying to take her sisters and her peace.

They were fine before all of these. It's too late to think of what if we didn't join the Survey Corps ? But she could still fix their future, couldn't she? She could start by taking Lyanne back and making sure this would never happen again.

Lia watches as Jean is being helped by their fellow soldiers because he couldn't breathe. If she was a bit weaker, that probably would have been her.

She turns her head towards Levi, and finds her Captain looking back at her. She flinches and looks away.

"Erwin…" Levi calls, not taking his eyes off her.

"I know." Erwin answers. "Prepare yourselves." He orders.

Erwin steals a glance at Lia, who looks oddly calm at the whole thing. He feels a surge of pleasure seeing her like this. People like her who experienced tragedy will take extra measures to maintain the status quo of it not happening again.

Those kinds are dangerous. Those kinds are the type of people Levi would classify as the monsters everybody needs to be wary of but Erwin, he needs those kinds of monsters. He needs Lia to become that .

He walks towards Jean, whose face is pale and sweating. He squeezes Jean's shoulder. "Are you alright? If you're not, you could stay here-"

"No." Jean answers. "No, I'm fine, sir. I'd like to go."

"Are you sure?" He asks once again. He expected him to say yes but hearing Jean say it, it would do Erwin a lot of good.

"Yes, Sir." Jean insists.

"Alright. We'll start moving. Levi, Lia, let's go."

When Erwin first heard Lyanne ask about Jean, he knew he was already someone who would be loyal to Lyanne. Lyanne needs people who will be on her side when the time comes.

For what? Well, only time will tell.

Mikasa wakes up, and the first thing she sees is the sky. It takes her several moments to realize what happened and she sits up, scrambling to do so but hands stop her by the shoulders.

"Mikasa, calm down -" Eren tells her but she pushes him off. She watches as he stumbles backwards but her entire mind rails with the fact Lyanne isn't here!

She slaps herself to wake herself up. This is no time for her to be sleeping or to feel tired. She crawls to look at the other side of the wall and find… nothing . There's nothing. Which means… Lyanne isn't here and she was taken away from her. Again. Just like before. But this time, Captain Levi wouldn't fix what she fucked up.

"Mikasa, you shouldn't move yet! We don't know what happened to your injuries -"

She grabs Eren's clothes and pulls him in. "Where's Lyanne? Where is she?"

"She was taken away by Reiner and Bertholdt… remember..." he explains slowly. "Ymir is with them, too…"

"Did anyone go after them?" She demands. "They should be going after them! We don't know what they will do to her!"

Eren shakes his head. "They can't. They couldn't bring the horses on the other side of the walls. And titans -"

"How long has it been?" Mikasa asks.

Eren answers. "Five hours."

Mikasa groans. Stupid , she tells herself. If only I could've done it right! She smacks the back of her head. She feels Eren trying to stop her but - she could've done it. She could have cut both of their heads off and none of this would have happened.

Why did she hesitate? It was her best chance! Why didn't she do it? Why didn't she -

- seeing Reiner and Bertholdt's face in pain and remembering the times they spent together and how Lyanne looked after Reiner -

She grits her teeth. "It was my last chance…" she angrily closes her eyes. "I won't get another one…"

Her thoughts get cut off when she hears Armin murmurs, "Blythe… can you answer me honestly?"

She looks back to see Armin, standing besides Blythe who looks stressed out of her mind. She doesn't answer but it looks like Armin isn't waiting for it.

"You knew about Reiner and Bertholdt." He says. Firm. No hesitation. "You knew they're Humanity's Greatest Enemies."

Mikasa doesn't understand it at first. What Armin is saying. Because how could Blythe know about that? But then she remembers the tone of Lyanne's voice when Reiner told her about him being the Armored Titan.

She thought it was because they discussed it beforehand but… but it wasn't just that, was it? Lyanne was aware of it, too.

So is Blythe, if Armin is anything to go by.

Besides her, Eren stands up, slowly, and coldly, he asks, "What do you mean, Armin?"

Armin bites his lip and swallows the lump in his throat. He doesn't want to believe it. He doesn't want to think it's true but every scene in his head checks out. Everything.

"Annie's background check came in..." Hanji announces. They're holding a bunch of papers and flipping through it. "It looks like two others from the 104th were born in the same region as her…"

Armin suddenly turns his head towards Eren, Mikasa and - he sees Blythe pull back a bit. He blinks at her.

"It's Reiner Braun and Bertholdt Hoover." Hanji adds.

Armin goes back to looking at Hanji.

"Huh?" Eren says.

"Well, because of the chaos five years ago, all the family records are in rough shape. The documents are so poorly managed it took them until now to figure this out. Apparently, those two were part of the group that falsely told Lyanne was on the right side of the expedition outside the wall. Annie Leonhart, appeared on the right side." Hanji clears their throat. "Of course, this doesn't prove anything. In any case, I just want to make sure we got everything covered. Can you tell me the relationships between these three?"

"I knew Bertholdt and Reiner are from the same hometown…" Armin steals a glance at Blythe who looks away from them. "But I didn't know about Annie."

"Me either. Of course, Annie doesn't talk much to begin with." Eren adds.

Mikasa says, "I don't recall."

"But…" Eren butts in. "But, as a member of the 104th squad… I don't see any reason to suspect them. Bertholdt is just quiet but Reiner is like a big brother to us and… he's close with Lyanne, I don't think he'll do anything to jeopardize her safety."

"That's right. Reiner was with me, Jean and Lia when we fought the Female Titan. He was almost crushed to death -" he stops. Remembering something that clicked in his brain.

"What's wrong?" Eren asks.

"Reiner freed himself away from Annie's hold and that was when she ran off to Lyanne's direction. I also guessed out loud where Lyanne's location was… but Annie couldn't have heard it…"

"What do you mean?" Eren frowns.

"Did Reiner show interest where Lyanne's location is?"

Armin nods. Reiner has. "I talked about it because Reiner asked me… and when we started running from the Female Titan, Annie was staring at her palm… she could have been looking at letters that Reiner carved!"

Eren frowns harder. "That's impossible… why the hell would you say -"

"Eren." Blythe calls.

Eren jerks away and looks at Blythe. He nods at her and looks down.

Hanji claps their hands and says, "Alright, gather around. If Armin says it is true, then this is what we will have to do…"

"You knew Bertholdt is one of the traitors. That's why you were spending time with him. Right?" He asks. He doesn't want to say but he suddenly feels a surge of happiness realizing she wasn't hanging out with him because she finds Bertholdt better than them. "You were aware of it… but why…"

"Blythe, that's not true, right?" Eren asks, hysterically. "Blythe, come on. It can't be, right?"

Armin doesn't know what to say to stop Eren. Because even him, he wants to know the truth.

"Blythe, please ."

Blythe does know.

She knew from the start.

She wanted to tell the Survey Corps at first but… Lyanne didn't want to and Blythe wasn't about to break Lyanne's trust.

Lyanne believed in the good of Reiner Braun. In some ways, Blythe did, too. She wanted to believe that time they spent together would be enough for him to choose her, the same way Lyanne had chosen him.

But he hadn't.

And Blythe has to face the fact this is the path she and Lyanne had chosen and everything that entails.

But it doesn't stop her from remembering something from years ago. Because it happened just quite like this, you see. Carla had asked her to end her life and Blythe failed to do just that and she watched how a titan had killed someone Blythe viewed that should have stayed alive.

"Like Carla…" she murmurs.

" No ." Eren angrily says between his gritted teeth. "No. Not like mom. You didn't know mom would die! But you knew who the traitors were! You knew and yet you still let Lyanne spend time with Reiner and you were with Bertholdt when you could have told us from the start! Why didn't you?!"

Blythe refuses to look at Eren. If she does, she will just see Carla. And how is she about to explain to her that her son is now in pain?

"Why didn't you tell us, Blythe?!"

"Because Lyanne knew too…" Mikasa answers, instead. "Lyanne knew the same way you had. And the both of you were aware."

"Is that true?" Eren demands. "Blythe, is that true?" He walks towards her and grabs her by the shoulder. But Blythe just closes her eyes. She can't do this. She can't . "How am I supposed to take this?" His voice cracks. "Do you… do you choose them over me ?"

Blythe is about to open her mouth to answer him. She doesn't even know what she's about to say when she hears a voice she used to scoff at says, "What's happening?"

She catches Erwin with Levi, Jean and a bunch of other soldiers and Lia . Her entire being screams for her. Of course, Lia is here. She's still pushes Eren off a bit but grabs his arm to squeeze. She can't answer him right now. Because in the first place, this isn't just about him.

"Blythe -"

" Later ." She croaks out. She turns away from him and half walks and half runs towards Lia to hug her. She breathes her in and says, "I'm sorry ."

"No need to apologise." Lia hugs her back. "It's okay ."

It's okay… it's okay. It should be.

Erwin gathers them around. Hanji, injured as they are, doesn't think they are as they still help Erwin to formulate a plan. Blythe feels a little guilty. She only asked Moblit once how they were in five hours. Her mind was preoccupied. She needs to talk to them too. But later .

Not when one of hers is still out there.

Lia fixes her gear and Blythe helps her when she catches Levi looking at them. He has a look on his face that she can't describe.

"You think Lyanne is fine?" Blythe asks.

"She's stronger than she looks. And… I don't think... Braun wouldn't do anything to hurt her." Lia answers. "Why do you think that is?"

"Who knows… it could be because of the time they spent together or because he can't hurt what he worked hard for to take." Blythe looks at the sky. "It doesn't matter what his reasons are. We'll take Lyanne back. Maybe, he has burdens to carry but so do we."

Lia tightens the rope in her leg. "That's right."

Blythe nods at her and looks back at Moblit who's helping Hanji to sit up. "I'll be right back." She walks over towards them and assists Moblit. He looks surprised seeing her. "How are you feeling, Squad Leader?"

Hanji gazes at her, and smiles softly. "I'm injured and can't help bringing your sister back. I'm not your superior right now, just a fellow soldier. Call me by my name."

"Hanji… I'm serious. Are you okay?"

"Could be better." They shrug and hisses in pain.

"Hanji-"

"Promise me you'll come back." Hanji cuts her off. They grab Blythe's hand and squeeze. "Okay?"

Blythe looks at their connecting hand and nods, slowly. "Of course. If I leave Moblit, he might actually get a heart attack."

Moblot sputters in the background and Hanji chuckles.

They stare at her. Their eyes are gentle. "This is the Blythe that I know."

Blythe smiles and nods. She lets go of Hanji's hand and walks back to Lia, who's standing besides Levi.

They await Erwin's instructions.

"Let's go." He orders.

Lyanne opens her eyes, and she suddenly feels a heavy dread into her stomach.

I lost , she thinks. And feels the lack of her hands. They even cut them off… fucking great. Before she can even sit up, she hears a voice besides her that says, "Oh, she's up."

She looks at the voice and it's Ymir. One of her hands was already regenerated. Good for her.

"Lyanne," a masculine voice calls. She doesn't need to look to know who it is. "Are you okay?"

She ignores him. Instead, she blurrily asks Ymir, "Where are we?"

Ymir smirks at Braun before answering, "We are apparently in the Titan forest in Wall Maria. Pretty far from the wall, too."

I slept that long? Shit. What happened to Blythe, then? Is she okay? How about Eren, Armin and Mikasa? And the rest of the kids? If Lia gets the wind of this…

"Lyanne…" a call again.

Lyanne looks at Braun now and asks, " What ?"

Braun looks a bit hurt, but asks anyway, "Are you okay?"

"No, thanks to you. My gratitude for you because you asked ." She deadpans.

"You don't have to say it like that…" Bertholdt butts in. "He did look up to you."

Ymir gives Lyanne a look. "And from where I was standing, you probably cared, too."

"I did." She admits. "And I chose to believe him once." She stares at Braun as she says the next line. Hopefully, it hurts him where it matters. "It won't happen again."

Braun recoils and he looks like he's in pain. Good . She sadistically thinks. Welcome to the squad.

Ymir looks between her and Braun. She sighs. "This got nothing to do with me. So, let's talk about something that actually is. Now that Lyanne is awake, tell me about the ape titan."

Both Braun and Hoover look shocked. "What?"

"Don't act dumb. I saw you smiling when you saw him. It's the same smile Reiner had when he hangs out with Lyanne. Is it -"

"Yeah… yeah. You're right." Braun cuts her off. "When Lyanne transformed… it was good, wasn't it? We survived because of her. And then when she sealed the wall -"

"Reiner." Hoover says.

"- that was actually around the time I wanted to ask Lyanne to teach me how to fight -"

" Reiner!"

Then, Braun looks at Ymir with a smile. "And then before, when you transformed too, you saved us too -"

" Reiner, enough!" Hoover exclaims angrily.

Braun is startled as he glances at Hoover.

"Ahh…" Ymir says, smirking. "I see. So, when you came here to take whatever it is you need to take, you started to forget what you were really here for. You started spending time with the others and thought you could make friends. You got so guilty, so you split two of your identity. One as a soldier and one as a trai-"

Braun snarls at Ymir. " Shut up."

Ymir just huffs at him.

"You know what, enough about me. How about we talk about you? You want to save Krista, right?"

Ymir snaps her head back to Braun. "What did you say?"

"Isn't that what you're fighting for? For Krista's safety? I can guarantee that she will be safe as long as you listen to us."

Lyanne looks at Ymir, finds her eyes staring at Braun like she would want that in a heartbeat. She snorts.

Ymir turns to her. Probably finds her face that says nothing much. She asks, while trying to look like she's saying a joke. "What do you think?"

"I'd be pretty stupid if I believed him again." She replies, her voice sounds like poison even to her ears. "There are only two people in this world I trust and none of them is him."

Braun's eyes look like he's in pain. He probably is. Lyanne doesn't care at this point. He and Hoover look away from her and Ymir.

That's when Ymir whispers, "If you promise to take care of Krista as you do with your sisters, I promise to do everything I can to help you go back."

Lyanne laughs quietly. That's a joke if she ever heard one. "Didn't you hear what I just said? I don't trust you as much as I don't trust them."

Ymir offers her a small smile, a sad one. The kind that says a lot like goodbye. "That's good enough for me."

Then, they hear a faint distant sound of someone triggering a flare. Lyanne's eyes widens.

Braun says, in horror of realization. "The Survey Corps has come."

Chapter 20: Intermission: Attack on Titan, 2020 Edition Part II

Notes:

GUESS WHO GOT 1K! US! CELEBRATION!

Thank you so much for sticking with us and the story. We are having so much fun, so, so, so muuuuch fun for this. I hope you guys stay with us until the end!

Yours truly,
Ryiason, Lyanne and Megs ❤

Chapter Text

The morning after the day he was transported into the 'future', according to the women who were the owner of the house Eren found himself on, one of them, Lyanne, she says her name is, wakes him up with a slap on the arm and Eren scrambles sitting up to find her staring at him.

"Get up, sleepyhead. Rise and fucking shine." Lyanne grunts at him. "Stand up and eat with us." She walks away and leaves Eren confused.

He stands up, anyway and sees the other two in the kitchen. He smells some eggs and some… he's not quite sure about the smell but it smells divine.

"Sit." Blythe, the one who's cooking, orders. She puts the egg on the plate and pushes something with colored water along with it. Eren looks back at her. She rolls her eyes. "Sit, Jaeger. How many times do I have to say that?"

Eren has no choice but to sit. Besides him is Lia. She looks extremely tired. She doesn't look like she notices Eren is currently staring at her. She's sipping her cup of coffee, slowly, while Lyanne pushes another cup in front of her.

"She's fine. She's just a writer."

"Deadlines suck." Lia murmurs. "If God wanted me to finish anything I write that fast, He should have put it in Ten Commandments.

Blythe puts three eggs on a plate and pushes it on to Lia. "Depression eggs."

"You got depression hotdogs?" Lyanne asks.

"And depression sausages."

"I need some anxiety tea!" Lia exclaims. "Get it? Because anxiety and tea rhy -"

Lyanne pushes a piece of bread into her mouth. "I know asians like rice better but I need you to shut up." She turns her head a bit and finds Eren staring at them. "What are you looking at? Eat your damn food."

Eren eats his damn food.

Eren doesn't know how he survived without eating ramen before. It's delicious, warm and it tastes even better when he puts the rice in it. Like Lia had told him.

From where I came from, this is how we do it. She told him as she poured her rice over her ramen. This is the right way, trust me.

And then they make him shower. They push him in a very small room with a slippery floor and a machine that lets out water. Eren screams when Blythe opens it to show him how it works.

"...are you done screaming like a skinny white girl in a horror movie or do I need to wait for you to finish?"

He doesn't understand what she meant but he nods, anyway. She points at an object that smells good but when it's wet, it slips right out of his hand.

"Soap." She says. And then she shoves a bottle of another thing that smells good. It's liquid this time. "Shampoo. Soap for the body and shampoo for the hair." She looks around and finds another bottle. "Conditioner. This is for your hair, too. After you're done showering, you rub this in your hair and then wash it, just a tiny bit, okay?"

Eren nods. He thinks he understands.

Blythe sighs in relief. "Alright. Yell when you're done. We'll give you a change of clothes." She leaves him and Eren blinks at the door when she closes it.

He does what he was instructed to do and it's… paradise. He feels refreshed in a way he never felt before. In Shiganshina, there's nothing like this machine that lets out water. He has to take some in the well. And the shampoo and conditioner feel so good in his hair. The soap makes him feel a lot cleaner than he is and he smells a bit better, too. He yells he's done and a few moments later, a knock on the door is what he hears and a soft, "I'll leave the clothes and the towel outside." And then a faint sound of footsteps. He opens the door and finds a white… fluffy cloth that he wraps around himself and most water in his body get absorbed.

"Wow…" he murmurs in marvel. He takes the black shirt, grey pants and… what looks like something to cover his private bits. He wears them and walks out of the door to find the three women in the place where he slept.

They all turn their heads towards him when they feel he's coming.

Lyanne shrugs and nods her head. "Looks good."

"I'm just glad I had spare clothes for men." Lia adds.

Blythe blows a breath. "We're going now, right?"

"Yep." Lyanne answers. "Come on, Slim Shady. We're going shopping."

"What-"

"Here, wear this." Blythe says as she shoves something… light red but not really in his chest. It also has feathers. "It's a jacket. Sorry, it's pink and it got feathers. It's the only one we got." She's about to leave when she exclaims. "Oh! And no chicken was harmed on making this jacket, rest assured."

Lia yawns as she stands up and puts the hoodie on her head. "You said it will be cold this time of the year."

"You'll live." Lyanne replies.

Eren doesn't have a choice but to follow them.

Apparently, horses are not the main transportation on where he is. It's actually a rectangular looking carriage with a machine that has sounds and it moves on its own. Everything outside is different from what he's used to.

For example, no titans.

"We are… you can say, free in that regard. We don't fight fifty feet tall creatures that want to eat human beings." Blythe explains.

There are a lot of rectangular carriage -

"- cars , Eren, not - whatever you just called it -" Lyanne cuts him off.

And buildings. A lot of buildings with a door that opens on its own. There are also a pole that helps people to lessen the "traffic" of rectangular carriages -

"- it's CARS , Eren, I'm about to lose it with this kid -"

And there's also a thing called "drive-thru" where a rec - car, it's a car, he doesn't want to get punched - enters a space and there's a box with a person in it and they will take people's orders and then they will give the food to their customers to the other side of the box.

Burgers are great. Ice cream is his favorite food, even with the brain freeze and fries are tasty, too.

Eren finishes his food when Lyanne stops… the car in a place where also a lot of cars are stopped.

"Parked." Lia corrects. "This is a parking lot for cars."

This world is amazing.

They walk out the car and Eren follows them. There's a faint scent of salt - something he only ate once way back in Shiganshina - and the wind gets colder and stronger and then -

Sand. Tiny, little speck particles all over the ground. And water. A big… wide… place… of water…

It's the sea.

Something only Armin had dreamed of seeing is right in front of Eren.

"Take your shoes off…" Lia slightly nudges him. "The sand would feel good underneath your feet."

He looks at her feet and she's already barefooted. Same with Lyanne and Blythe. Eren takes off his own shoes and walks alongside the three of them. They stop on where the sand ends, and the water begins.

The water is cold. And it seems endless, the sea. Eren can't even see what's on the other side.

"We apologise for not telling you anything last night." Blythe starts. "I mean, we didn't know how to explain it to you either. So, we thought maybe if we took you to a place where you're a bit familiar with, it would calm you a bit. And -" she does a double take at his face. "Dude, are you crying?"

Is he? Eren touches his face and yes, it's wet. His eyes are pouring out and he tries to wipe it. Again and again but he can't stop - he can't. He's in front of the sea, something he wanted to witness all his life and now he's here.

"We suspect you time travelled to the future." Lia ignores his tears and walks a bit further to where they're standing. "So… I guess you could say this is the kind of future you were fighting for. The freedom you want."

"We're telling you now, we don't know how you got here or how we can take you back to where you're from." Blythe gives him a look. "Just in case you think we're geniuses because of the moving rectangular carriages."

Eren doesn't know what to say, he just cries.

Lyanne awkwardly pats his back. "Welcome to freedom, Eren. Welcome to 2020."

Eren continues to cry like a little kid, to the point they all sit in the sand to calm him down. He sniffs as they talk to him.

"We're not exactly free free , you know? We got government, rules and all that stuff. So, we still need to obey those if we don't want to get fu- um… detained. If we don't want to get detained." Lyanne clears her throat.

Eren sniffs again. "And that doesn't bother you?"

"That you're sniffing?"

"That you're not free…" Eren frowns. Because he didn't want to sniff, okay! He just got emotional!

"Well, the laws are fine." Blythe says. "The politicians are horrendous. Besides, usually the laws would be 'don't murder' and that should be common sense but you'd be surprised how often people still murder."

"Or not have common sense." Lia adds.

"The point we're trying to make is…" Lyanne inhales, deep. "Total freedom is impossible because you are living with other people. There are restraints, like, lying to somebody that the food they cooked is good or how their tie doesn't look hideous. What I mean is, maybe the exchange of not being free the way you wanted to be is not being alone."

"Just don't murder." Blythe butts in. "Don't do drugs." A pause. "To be fair, being an addict is a disease. Don't rape."

Lia's teeth chatters. "Are we good? Cause I'm about to jump off in flaming lava if it means I can't get some heat."

"Let's go back to the car." Lyanne announces. "It has a heater."

"It has a what?" Eren asks.

The three of them chuckle.

"You'll see." Lyanne says.

Freedom, Eren finds, is a lot better than what Lyanne, Lia and Blythe entail.

First of all, he can heat up food with just another machine called a microwave . It took him a few tries to get it right but it is one of the favorite machines he'd ever used. There's also a television, TV, for short, and it has tiny people inside trying to entertain them. Lia had tried to explain to him what it really is but Eren couldn't follow because he was excited about watching the tiny people. He'd ask again next time. And then there's a machine that brews coffee . It's this liquid with a nice smell that tastes bitter (some people like their coffee that way even if there's an option to put sugar or cream. Lyanne said people who take their coffee with no other add-ons are secretly serial killers. Blythe joked about how four out of ten serial killers like black coffee while drinking her coffee black. Eren is not sure if that was a joke, really. Lia said Blythe just said that because she prefers tea better and she said it with an accent that Eren isn't familiar with.

Lia refused to explain that one.)

Eren is having fun. He's worried about his comrades but… he's having fun. He likes hanging out with these three people whom he just met but decided to take care of him.

Lyanne shows him a lot of… photos , they're called, and it's beautiful sceneries of the mountain, and the beach and a lot more. She's apparently a photographer. Her job is to take these kinds of images.

Blythe is a teacher - a soon-to-be Professor , as Lyanne fondly calls her while Lia pats Blythe's back because Blythe always semi-regrets her decision to become one - and she teaches Eren how to write and read.

"At least you got an excuse. My students are grown and they write like they're the producers of Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader? " That Eren finds out later on is something he could watch on TV.

He understood the reference.

Lia is a writer and she usually stays up late to write and complains the next morning. Eren's job is to make sure she doesn't overboard with caffeine or they might go to the hospital.

Blythe wakes up earlier than the rest of them because she's a monster , as Lyanne said, and she cooks breakfast. Eren is told the reason they call it depression eggs is because all of them are clinically depressed and they try to fix it by eating eggs.

It's an inside joke.

"You had to be there," is what Lia said and the other two laughed.

By lunch, Lyanne is the one cooking and she reminds him a lot of Captain Levi. She's strict in the kitchen. Eren has to have a cloth wrapped in his head, he has to have an apron, he has to clean his hands very often. It takes several tries for Eren to pass in Lyanne's standards but he's happy when they eat the food they cook and all of them say it's delicious.

At night, they drag Lia out of her room, and they order "take-outs" and eat in front of the TV where they laugh, yell orders at people who play sports and talk among themselves.

Eren is worried, that's true. But he's also really happy with the freedom he was given.

"...Corona Virus…."

"...pandemic…"

"...a total lockdown…"

Eren turns to look at his… friends and they all have a worried look on their faces.

"Crap." Lia curses. She stands up with a phone in her hand. "I'm going to call my mom. Ask if she's okay."

Eren watches as Lyanne does the same but also takes something like a white stick in a small box she likes hiding underneath the couch. "What's that white stick?"

Blythe is already on her phone. "Lia. Lyanne is doing the thing you don't like."

"Is it - no!" Lia hisses. "Get out on the balcony, Lyanne! I'll kick your non-melanin, white ass in different shades of Sunday if you don't!"

" Christ ." Lyanne murmurs. "I'm just stressed. " She walks out of the balcony, anyway. She already lights the stick and puts it between her lips as she types on her phone.

Eren blinks at Blythe. "What was that?"

"Some death stick." Blythe answers and then, "Hello, mom? Have you heard the news?"

He can hear Lia in the kitchen as well, talking in a language he doesn't understand and Lyanne does the same. Muffled voices tangled with worry. Maybe if he was born here from the start, he'll worry about Carla as well. Maybe, he'll know what they feel like.

"-ren, Eren!"

Eren blinks back to reality. "Yes?"

"Call Lia, tell her we're going grocery shopping. If she starts complaining, tell her we will buy the wrong instant noodles she likes."

He's not quite sure what Blythe means but when he tells Lia what Blythe has said, he thinks he understands it a little.

Eren has always known the grocery shops places are always full of people because it is where people buy food but even this is too much, in his opinion. He also feels a little bit of shock because he hasn't seen this amount of people before.

It's amazing. In a way.

They all wear masks that only cover their mouths and Lyanne forces Eren to spray alcohol on them every few minutes. When they go to take a cart, Eren sees a few people not wearing a mask but he's sure the news said it's mandatory, for everybody's safety.

Eren points to the said people. "Why aren't they wearing a mask?"

Lyanne sprays alcohol on the cart's handle. "Because they're selfish pricks. Imagine being so entitled, you'll let other people suffer."

Blythe takes the cart away and grabs Eren. "Don't be like them."

I won't, Eren wants to say but Lia points to her skin and asks, "Do you know who's not doing that?" She snorts as she walks away. "It's your people. I'm holding you guys responsible."

He's not sure what Lia means about that. So, he asks, "What does skin color have to do with anything?"

Blythe purses her lips and shakes her head. "Yeah, that's a discussion better left with Lia."

As if on cue, Lia turns around and exclaims, "Let's go! I need some white people here so they won't think I'm going to steal!"

After they already put every grocery they bought in the kitchen, Eren finds Lia in the balcony with a worrying cup of coffee (it still has a bit of smoke and Lia is drinking it like water) and he knocks on the glass door and Lia blinks at him.

She slides it open. "Yes?"

"Can we talk?"

"Yeah," Lia gives Eren space so he could enter the balcony, too. She closes the door. "What's up?"

"I was… curious about what you said in the grocery shop place." Eren starts. "About the skin color thing…"

"Oh…" she sips her cup. "Yeah? What about it?"

"Can you explain to me why it matters? From where I came from, I don't really see something like that as a problem."

Lia snorts and chuckles humorlessly. "Really?"

Eren doesn't like this Lia.

Lia has always been… not entirely happy but she's full of emotions. She's always tired, drinking too much caffeine and pills that makes all of them worry. But she's never been like this.

"Have you ever had to protect someone because they look different from you?" She asks.

Eren thinks for a moment. He doesn't really think - wait. Of course. "Mikasa. My, uh…" how is he supposed to explain her? "My adopted sister. She… when she was young, she was about to be sold against her will because she was -"

"- asian ?" Lia asks, one eyebrow raised.

"Yes?"

"That's a form of racism. It's when white people, like yourself, treat people like us who are a different race, man, even just a different color of the skin, horribly. You probably think it's not a problem where you came from because you haven't experienced it yourself but it's real and it's happening."

Eren frowns. "That's… how is that - I mean -"

"It's just how it is. If I get transported where you're from, I probably have to worry not only fighting titans but also making sure bad people won't sell me to the highest bidder. Thank God, all I have to do here is fight for my equal rights. That seems exhausting."

Freedom , Eren thinks, is not as simple here as I thought . "You're not free."

"I am free." Lia insists. "I am free to make my choices and I made them. I choose to live. I choose to fight. I choose to make my life more than a sob story. It's not the freedom you want, Eren, but I'm glad with my choices. Besides," she nudges him. "I have people who will protect me. Lyanne. Blythe. My family. You ." She smiles at him, gently. "You'll protect me, right?"

"With my life." Eren doesn't even hesitate.

"Then, I'm not alone." She says as she sips her coffee and stares at the setting sun. "Which means freedom to me."

Maybe, freedom means different things to different people. Maybe, Lia is not wrong with her own definition of freedom.

Maybe simply making choices is being free.

A total lockdown means a total lockdown.

They are not allowed to leave the house which means Lyanne and Blythe teach him what 'gaming' is, while Lia is on the other side of the couch with her laptop as she types. Eren read one of her books about seven people being superheroes. It was very nice but it ended in a cliffhanger and she's apparently still writing the sequel.

"Focus, Eren, this is the best part! Sephiroth is about to be iconic!" Lyanne exclaims.

"A gay legend!" Blythe adds.

Lyanne whistles. "I'd let him rail me, to be honest."

Blythe puts her hands in Eren's ears but Eren can still hear her perfectly. "Not in front of the kid." She hisses.

"What's gay?" Eren asks. "And what does rail me mean?"

Lia chokes on her water. "Look what you made him ask. Not even when he was Chad Eren he knew what railing is."

" Who ?"

It's Lyanne this time who put her hands in his ears. "Why would you say that?"

"Got dudebros on their knees." Lia deadpans.

"Well." Lyanne shrugs as she lets him go. "Touché."

Eren still wants to ask what they're talking about but the Sephiroth enters the screen and the screaming makes him forget what he was curious about in the first place.

A week after, Eren finds himself on the verge of napping beside Lia on the couch while Blythe is reading the paper Eren wrote his 'essays' on. Lyanne is in the kitchen, making soup. Eren is excited because there are lobsters involved and he ate it once before with them.

He's about to fall asleep when he hears something crashes. He sits up as soon as he hears it because he needs to protect them from -

Lia wakes up, clearly and looks up as well. "Is that -"

" Armin ." Eren gasps.

"Oh, fuck . Another one?"

Blythe yells. "LYANNE! COME LOOK AT THIS! YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHO'S ON THE LIVING ROOM - Eren, hey!"

Eren grabs Armin and drags him away.

"Eren - Eren! It's me!" Armin in-between his breath as Eren just keeps dragging him to the bathroom.

"Clean yourself! We are in the middle of a pandemic and you entered the house without cleaning yourself up! You might infect the people here!" Eren hisses. He shoves the same thing Blythe shoves him on his second day. He finds himself repeating the words, just a little aggressive.

"Eren -"

"Hurry, Armin!" Eren snaps. He closes the door and turns his head to find Lyanne, with her spatula, staring at him and Blythe, with his paper.

Lia is in the background walking around with a cup of coffee.

"It's my friend." Eren announces weakly.

"Yeah," Lyanne says. "We can tell."

Chapter 21: The Children's Silent Screams

Notes:

listen while reading: /ha7YRNAuuzM

/WR7U7_cKJw4

i hope we'll be alright.

Chapter Text

Reiner feels a chill down his spine, seeing the flare. He's aware that they would do anything to bring Lyanne back - aside from the obvious, Lia and Blythe, he's sure Commander Erwin is with them, as well.

He has no time to think. He flies over to the tree Ymir and Lyanne are standing on and wraps his arm around her neck and immediately goes to suffocate her. She may not have all of her limbs intact but she's still stronger than he will ever be.

"I'm sorry!" Reiner cries out as Lyanne slaps his arm with her stump. "Lyanne, I'm sorry -" he chokes out, his words tastes like acid against his tongue. He's not sure if he means it - the apologies that swim out of his mouth. And if he is really sorry, for what, exactly?

Because he went out of his way to get closer to her? Because he let her think he's a good person, a good soldier, a good man ? Because he made her feel it's okay to treat him like a little brother - the same way she had done with Eren.

"I'm sorry…" he murmurs, and his eyes and cheeks are wet, as she slowly closes her eyes and her breathing becomes even.

He wants to embrace her and rock her body softly, and mean what he said. The Sorry's , the I didn't use you , the I really didn't want to end up like this .

But he can't. He can't mean them. He can't possibly do so. He chose to become a Warrior. He chose the truth. The real Reiner Braun.

Maybe this way, he would be honoring the time he had with Lyanne, when he was Rei .

"Apologizing while choking her…" Ymir says, sarcastically. "You could lie better."

No, he wants to say as he fixes Lyanne in a more comfortable position. I really couldn't .

"Erwin!" A voice screams that forces Erwin to look back. "You devil! Are you using us as bait again?"

"That wasn't my intention!" Erwin screams back. It really isn't his intention. It just happened that way. He wants to say as such but… for normal people like him, Erwin understands the feeling of not wanting to be caught up in a situation where it could cost him his life. "Do your duty as soldiers! The Armored Titan is carrying Lyanne away! We need to stop it at all costs!"

He says that but he has a feeling he didn't have to remind the two people riding besides him what they should do.

Lia and Blythe have been on edge since they landed on the other side of the wall. Blythe has always been the one out of three of them who would oppose him but does what she needs to do and does it way better than he expected. Seeing her the way she is right now, as much as he's expecting and wants her exactly like this, still makes Erwin feel a little intimidated.

Even with Lia who only listens to Levi - it's obvious how her loyalty never lies with him and he accepts that - listens to him, as well.

But he knows this change inside them isn't because of him. The only reason why Blythe and Lia could be the monsters Erwin wants them to be is because of the one person who completes them and he's sure, if Lyanne was here and one of the other two is the one with the Armored Titan, he could imagine the same situation happening, it could go even worse .

"They're not going fast for us! We can make it!" Kirstein exclaims. Hannes remembers him, he has the one with the dirty blond hair.

"If it sheds the hard skin around its joint, the Armored Titan could probably run faster! Since it hasn't, it might not be able to run that far!" Armin exclaims.

"I'm not going to hesitate this time," Mikasa says coldly, even Hannes feels the murder intent. "I promise I'll kill them!"

Eren adds, with a voice Hannes couldn't believe he's hearing from the child Carla used to show him. "And that includes even Ymir…"

"Whatever it takes..." Armin murmurs quietly but Hannes hears it perfectly clear. He's a bit shocked to hear it from Armin, the most gentle kid Hannes knew.

This Lyanne… she must be something else. He hasn't met her, personally. He never had the time but he heard stories - about the woman Erwin took as his assistant and how she's also the one who took care of Eren and the rest of the kids Hannes felt he should be responsible for.

If … the children have to result in murder just to bring her back… he understands. There was one person in the world Hannes had a debt to - Lyanne's sister, Blythe. And if Lyanne's anything like her - end it , Carla's voice was shaking, and Hannes took a turn of his head to watch as Blythe tried to do just that - then Hannes would understand why Eren would risk his life and his moral for her . She wasn't even a soldier, that Blythe, and yet she stayed with Carla as much as she could. Not like Hannes who took the coward's way, instead.

He owes Blythe a debt and it's time he pays it.

So he will bring Lyanne back, not just for the kids or for Blythe, but for himself. As a soldier who lost his honor that day he left Carla to die. And just like Armin said, he would do it, whatever it takes.

Eren meets Lyanne's eyes, even as they are not completely open. He feels this indescribable feeling welling up in his chest, something deep, something real. He tries to smile, to reassure her that everything is okay but Bertholdt's filthy everything is around her and he can't - she needs to be free right now, far away from the traitors who broke her trust, who used her like her feelings don't matter. He can't let her stay with them.

He attacks Bertholdt with everything he has, but Ymir protects him. He snarls, baring his teeth. As he thought. "I'll have to kill you." He angrily growls at her. He watches as Bertholdt takes the chance to change his position and Reiner hides Bertholdt with his sister with his hands. He readies himself to attack Ymir, this time he'll make sure it will kill her and then he's going to attack the Armored Titan so he could see Bertholdt and kill him to take Lyanne back when -

"Wait, Eren !" Krista yells. "Don't kill her!"

"I don't care!" Eren yells back. "If she's going to continue getting in my way, I won't hesitate!"

"Reiner and Bertholdt will kill Ymir if she doesn't do what they say!"

Eren has no time for Krista's pleads. "There are only a few people in this world I decided to protect." He meets Krista's eyes, and he sees the exact second she knows he's not fucking around. "None of them is her. There's no way that I will sacrifice my sister for you or for Ymir."

In different circumstances, Eren would understand Krista and the possibility of him helping her to bring Ymir back is high.

This is just not one of those circumstances. If there's only one survivor between Ymir and Lyanne, Eren decided a long time ago who it's going to be.

Jean manages to land safely on Reiner's titan body, and hears Bertholdt asking Lyanne to hold still. He finds it quite funny, because he can just imagine what she looks like, probably the same way she did when she ordered him to stab her - frantic, angry, and something incredibly real . He peeks through Reiner's fingers and finds her frowning at what's going on.

His heart is suddenly in his throat. He finds himself begging, "Give her back to us , Bertholdt. We can - we can fix anything else after that. Come on, man. Give her back."

"Bertholdt," Connie's voice is shaking. From what? Anger? Pain? Jean doesn't know. "Reiner, tell me it's not true. Were you deceiving us all this time…?"

Silence.

But it's enough as an answer.

"How could you…?" Connie's voice cracks. "How could you do this to us?"

"So, that's it?" Jean snarls. "You're just going to run away like this? For three years, we slept under the same roof! Did that not matter to you at all? I can't believe you used Lyanne for your plans! I can't believe you slept well knowing that!"

That's right… didn't Reiner and Lyanne become close because of Eren ? Didn't he give Reiner permission to think of Lyanne as his big sister? He clenches his jaw. He should have known better. He should have known none of them deserve to know his sisters like he does. "It was my mistake that I told Reiner he could share my sisters. He's nothing but a traitor. We can't hesitate. They're just a threat to humanity."

Bertholdt screams. "You don't know anything about Reiner, Eren! You don't know anything! Did you think he wanted to use her? Or that we wanted to kill people? I wanted - I wanted nothing more but to be a soldier, just like the rest of you! It was easier and - and -" he whimpers angrily. "I did think of you as my friends - but please, I can't… I'm tired… please, somebody, find us…"

Eren doesn't falter. "Give Lyanne back, Bertholdt." He orders.

"I can't. " Bertholdt's voice cracks. "Somebody has to do it. Someone has to get this blood… on their hands…"

Jean opens his mouth to retort something back to Bertholdt but all words die in his mouth when he hears Hannes exclaiming, "ALL OF YOU GET OUT OF THERE! ERWIN…" Jean looks at what Hannes couldn't take his eyes off at and it's - "HE HAS TITANS WITH HIM AND HE'S COMING THIS WAY! WHAT IS HE THINKING!"

Armin jumps and uses his gear to land safely on his horse. It doesn't make sense to him on why Commander Erwin did such a thing until the titans he managed to lure with them start eating Reiner. He couldn't help but watch it happen, his mind couldn't process what exactly is happening.

"We're just getting started! We have to bring Lyanne back! Dedicate your hearts!" Erwin exclaims.

Armin manages to turn his head towards Erwin, finds himself wanting to voice something but what he sees is Lia's face.

"Tell me to charge." Her voice is commanding, and full. Something Armin never heard from her before. Like, she would actually charge against hundreds of titans alone if she has to.

Blythe looks exactly the same as Lia, she's looking at Erwin like she would disobey a direct order if he doesn't say charge now.

Armin has always known that Lia and Blythe love Lyanne. Before Armin came to their lives, they already had each other. But knowing and seeing it are two different things.

It seems scary… to have that much love on one person.

Erwin exclaims, "Charge!"

Armin needs to get his shit together. He needs to show what he's willing to sacrifice for his sisters as well. He charges alongside them. He doesn't realize that Commander Erwin loses an arm until it is too late but he still yells at them to advance. He does and finds Lia and Blythe not even stopping like everybody did a couple seconds ago. He bites his lip. He has to do something. He has to… do something else.

Something better . Something only he can do.

"Lia!" Armin exclaims and Lia turns her head towards him. "I have an idea but I need you to distract Ymir for me!"

Lia frowns but releases her blades, anyway.

"Be careful." Blythe warns.

Lia starts charging towards Ymir and Blythe leads the rest of them.

Armin waits for the perfect timing and flies towards Reiner and lands near Bertholdt. Behind him is Lyanne, wrapped pathetically around his back.

There was a time when Lyanne, Blythe and Lia left to train to join the Survey Corps, where Armin just watched them go and their backs started getting further and further away from him. The emptiness he felt that time, and the times he remembers it that makes him choke up out of nothing? is something not even Armin can explain.

He doesn't want to feel that way ever again, however. He'll do anything to make sure it won't happen again.

Bertholdt and Reiner took one of his sisters to use . Armin just has to use one of theirs to get her back.

"Are you really leaving? Leaving Annie alone?" He asks, voice laced with fake concern. "They're torturing her, you know? To get some answers… they find out they can't kill her but it doesn't mean she's not capable of feeling pain -"

Bertholdt hisses in anger as he's about to attack Armin but he sees Ymir behind Bertholdt and she pushes forward him a little and that's when Lia comes in front, cuts Bertholdt's chest and Lyanne starts falling down to the ground when she hears Blythe exclaiming, "Eren, now!" Eren successfully catches Lyanne and Blythe orders, "Everyone, retreat! We've done what we came for!"

They all start riding away from the Armored Titan. Just a few more moments, and this could be considered their victory. But if there's probably one thing Reiner learned from Lyanne is that giving up is the last option as he hears Jean exclaiming, with utter disbelief on his face.

"REINER IS THROWING THE TITANS AT US!"

It's the only warning Armin gets when one of the titans Reiner throws hits him and Jean.

For a moment, Armin's vision turns dark.

Lyanne feels arms wrapped around her protectively as they forcefully roll in the ground. Eren unwraps his arms and helps Lyanne sit. Lyanne sees his face full of cuts, and bruises. Eren groans painfully when he adjusts his right leg and there's no doubt in Lyanne's mind Eren can't move.

She needs - time . To think. To… just get it together. But fate always seems to be against her as a titan emerges and holds up its hand to take her or Eren. She postures to protect Eren when somebody comes flying towards them and defends them.

"Are you both alright?" He asks.

"Mr. Hannes!" Eren calls, eyes wide.

"You two, it's okay." Hannes says, with a shaking voice. "I will avenge Carla and pay my debt!"

And then Lyanne watches as he pathetically tries to at least land a hit on the ti -

Wait.

Avenge Carla?

That's when she hears Eren's soft voice, filled with anguish. "That's the titan… that's the titan that killed my mother…"

She widens her eyes as she snaps her head back towards Hannes. Something isn't right. She doesn't like the sound of that. "Eren! Untie me now!" She orders.

Eren turns to her. "Untie you?" His eyes wander down her wrists and hands and realizing she's still tied up. He helps her out and Lyanne is - she needs to -

A faint screeching sound that she hears once before. There were a lot of trees, then. And it was the day that changed her life.

For better or for worse.

And it's ringing again. Right now.

Jean watches in horror as Hannes gets eaten by the titan who was about to take Lyanne and Eren. And they are still there.

He tries to stand up in panic, but the pain in his lower body is too much for him to handle. He groans and pathetically falls down to the ground, face flat. This is the worst time for him to be injured, damn it! He still struggles when he feels an arm around him and it's Armin, with his blade out.

"Armin, help me up! I need to go save Lyanne! Armin! " He hisses in pain, in anger. "I just got her back, Armin, I can't do this again!"

Armin is not listening to him, however. His eyes are locked to where Lyanne and Eren are - he doesn't want to look, is scared of what he might see but he forces himself to and seeing the titan who ate Hannes trying to take Lyanne makes his chest constrict in a different way he usually feels it. It doesn't hurt but it does feel something that comes out of deep inside him, swelling up like smoke and suffocating him, with the thought if he loses Lyanne, he might actually kill everything he touches.

He wonders if this is what Lia and Blythe feel about Lyanne.

He wonders if this is what love feels like.

Lyanne is too late. Hannes is already dead, eaten like he's a bug and his eyes are closed. She wonders if that's better. Maybe the moment the darkness takes over, the pain will feel like a fever dream instead.

"NOOOOOOOOO!" Eren screams in agony. "No! No! Not again!" He crashes down to the ground, and starts punching the grass like he could hurt her. "I'm still so useless! Still pathetic! Nothing has changed, mom! I'm still someone who can't do anything!"

She wants to stop Eren, to say something profound. To tell Eren that he isn't useless . That Eren is someone they all can rely on but the screeching sound in her ears gets louder and louder until her mind just blanks.

She can't think of anything. Her mind refuses to. In a second of clarity that her blank mind allows, she remembers Lia and Blythe. Her sisters. What is she here for? For them? Why is she still staying here, taking all of this pain? What is the point of all of this?

That's when the sound stops and Lyanne hears another sound. This time, it's a voice. The one she couldn't bring herself to tell her sisters that it came back.

_, MAKE THE CONNECTION.

Her eyes are dazed and her body moves on its own. She turns to Eren and finds herself cupping his face and wiping the tears off his face. "It's okay," she says. "I'll protect you." It feels like empty words. Like it didn't come from her at all.

She stands up, remembering the feeling when that day happened. Or when she sealed the wall. She doesn't have to think - she just has to let it be. She lets her instinct take over for her. She punches the titan's hand that's about to attack her and screams in anger -

- wha- going on -

- reset -

- HAT IS HAPPEN -

- said, it's resetti -

- WHO ARE -OU -

Before she could think what exactly the voices mean, another titan emerges from behind her and attacks the titan that ate Hannes. It takes a few seconds for her to realize how this is a chance to escape. She goes back to Eren, carries him on her back and starts running away.

She refuses to look back.

This is the worst outcome! Reiner angrily thinks as he watches Lyanne run away from the very same Titan that killed Eren's mother. He needs to take her or else .

But Lyanne has always been one step ahead of him. She turns around and glares at Reiner.

"Try it, Braun ! Or I'll fucking kill you!" She screams.

Reiner feels it before he sees it. Titans coming for him. Lyanne is really someone they need to bring back to their hometown but he needs to protect Bertholdt. And out of the two options, he has more chances of succeeding on the second one.

He gives Lyanne one last look, and he doesn't know if it's because he wants to take her or wants to be by her side.

Lyanne puts Eren on the horse as gently as she can and he tries to help her so she could ride the horse, too. Eren has his arms wrapped around her, in a second they start moving while she turns her head around to find the two people in the world that she's always come home to.

Blythe is leading everyone on front - making sure all of them survive and can make it back home, while Lia is on the side, a little further away - like she's ready to kill anybody who touches them, with her blade outs, she's exactly the type of person Lyanne had known even before she learned how to properly fly the gear.

They're safe , she thinks. Forces her hands to stop shaking, tells herself she'll see them again later. Before she could turn her head back, she catches Jean looking at her.

He has his eyes locked on her, and refuses to leave. And he looks like he's seeing her for the first time. He looks like he had a rough day.

They stare at each other for a moment - moments where Jean has said more words with his eyes more than his mouth had done - when Ymir in her titan comes running towards them.

Ymir chases her, and meets her eyes. If you promise to take care of Krista as you do with your sisters, I promise to do everything I can to help you go back. And Lyanne knows she tried, in her own way. She wants to ask why couldn't she just come with them but people are different and they have different ways of doing this and all of those are valid.

"I understand." Lyanne tells Ymir.

Ymir gives her one last look before turning back towards chaos. Krista's voice begging for her to come back rings in her ears.

Lyanne doesn't look back. Ymir made her choices and she made hers. Maybe Ymir could sacrifice herself for the cause, Lyanne can't.

But one thing is for sure: they will never see Ymir again.

Chapter 22: Orphans, Traitors and Broken Things

Notes:

has anybody listened to bo burnham's lower your expectations song? its stuck in my head. also isayama give me some therapy moneyq

Chapter Text

Erwin falls down the ground with his eyes wide open but Lyanne knows he's unconscious. He lost his arm, trying to bring her back. Their Commander. If something happens to him… she feels a slight terrifying chill against her skin. She's about to go to Erwin, to help when she hears a pained whimper behind her.

Blythe's concerned voice rings in her ears. "Eren," she calls softly. "Where are you hurt?"

Lyanne doesn't hesitate to turn around and check on Eren. He's sitting on the ground, clutching his right leg. She kneels down next to him. "Are you okay?"

"It just feels a little… but I'll be okay, I think."

"We should put him in one of the carts." Lia suggests. "Boys, help me bring him."

Lyanne watches as Lia and Connie try to help him stand up. She turns her head a bit and finds Jean, staring at her.

"Don't look at me like that." She tells him.

"Like what ?"

"Like you're seeing me for the first time."

Jean's eyes waver for a second. "Or the last ."

Lyanne flinches, when she hears it. "At ease, Kirstein ."

Jean opens his mouth and Lyanne tries to brace herself from what's going to come out of it.

But Lia cuts him off before he could even breathe a word. "Jean, can you go with Eren? You too, Connie. Ar -"

"I'm staying ." Armin says.

Lia meets Mikasa's eyes and she shakes her head. "Alright."

Lyanne watches as Eren looks at them longingly. She does her best not to look at Jean, something in his eyes doesn't feel… right to her. Like he's seeing something Lyanne isn't sure she has. As Eren's cart fades away, she realizes the amount of people moving, as well. Some of them are injured, most of them just look particularly haunted. Lyanne is familiar with this expression. She probably wore something similar these past weeks of her life.

I let this happen, she feels something heavy drop in her chest. "How many people died this time?"

"There were a hundred of us," Blythe answers. "Including the Military Police. I don't think they were prepared or equipped for what happened. To be fair, none of us were." She looks around with a sigh. "They probably got eaten. Looking at them now… there are probably forty people on the wall and only half of them are up and walking."

Lyanne closes her eyes and exhales deeply. This is the consequences of her decision. Of believing one against a hundred of people who could either be alive or live their lives not knowing what happened today. This is not even something she could classify as a failure.

"More people would probably have died if it wasn't for you, Lyanne, so don't beat yourself up." Blythe cuts her thoughts off.

Lyanne gives her sister a look. "What do you mean by that?"

"What happened when you and Eren were about to get eaten, a titan attacked the very same titan who ate Carla and Hannes." She explains. "And then something made the titans attack the Armored Titan. Both of those situations happened after you made an action. That was you, right?"

"Everything was hazy…" Lyanne trails off, she almost doesn't want to continue talking when Blythe brushes the hair out of her face and she feels the warmth of her sister's hand. "I have no exact answer to what happened then."

"Wait, are you saying Lyanne manipulated those titans?" Armin asks.

"It's the only logical thing I could think of." Blythe answers.

Armin smiles, the kind of smile he used to have when they told them they would live together after the attack on Shiganshina. The hopeful one. The one that Lyanne was happy to see. "If you can really do that… wouldn't that be…"

"I don't care what it was." Mikasa says. "I'm just glad Lyanne is safe."

Lia pats Mikasa's back. "That's something you really would say, Mika."

She sighs as she pushes her hair back and thinks of how Erwin lost his arm, people dying again , Eren getting injured, and most importantly, her sisters being in front and center of the chaos. Just by choosing to believe in Braun, the good Lyanne saw in him, this is the result. Whether or not she was worth this kind of price just to get her back is something she doesn't know the answer to. But these people trusted her to bring victory to humanity.

The answer to that question depends on her.

She suddenly feels arms wrapping around the middle of her body and she yelps in surprise when it tightens around her. She looks behind her just to see Mikasa, burying her face against her nape. She hears a soft snort in front of her and it's Lia, Blythe and Armin looking at them with the first, genuine expression that isn't out of pain or out of trauma.

That's right. This is what she should have chosen from the start. Wasn't this what she was fighting for in the first place?

"I'll make sure to bring justice to all the people that died today." Lyanne says, determined. "I will make sure their sacrifices won't be in vain."

Suddenly, Krista comes running towards her, exclaiming, " No. No, Miss Lyanne." She grabs Lyanne's clothes and Mikasa lets go of her, only to posture to protect her. "My name is Historia, Miss Lyanne. Let's hurry to the other side of the wall."

"Weren't you feeli -"

Krista doesn't care. She tightens her grab and pulls Lyanne down for them to be on the same height. "Don't worry about me! Ymir! Ymir is in danger! We have to get her back or they might do something to her!"

Lia grabs Krista's hands, as gently as Lia can and pulls her away from Lyanne.

But that doesn't stop Krista from exclaiming in panic. "You're strong, aren't you, Miss Lyanne? Use your titan powers to do something!" She stops in a split second and comes crashing down to the ground with a whimper.

Lyanne tries to catch her. "Krista -"

"Historia!" She snaps at her. "Please, Miss Lyanne… Ymir is… Ymir is…"

Lyanne feels apologetic towards her. She had an idea whatever relationship Ymir and Krista have, was something that important for the both of them. Ymir wouldn't have done that deal she did in the trees if it wasn't. Krista wouldn't act like this if it wasn't. "She made a deal with me. To take care of you, and she'll help me escape to go back. I know she fulfilled her promise. I would be a liar if I don't hold up mine." A pause. "She cared about you till the end."

Krista's tears start falling, as she stares at Lyanne. Then she looks down at her hands. She turns it into a fist and angrily says, "Not good enough. She promised me that we will live our life for ourselves! She - she -" she whimpers and punches the ground. Lyanne winces and tries to stop her but Krista just slaps her hand away. "She chose them over me! She said we would live our life together! Now, she's left me behind! I will never forgive her! Traitor !"

Lyanne doesn't know what to say. If someone tells her that one of her sisters leaves her and… she closes her eyes. She can't do it. She might actually burn down the world if anything like that happens to Blythe and Lia.

And the fact that Ymir willingly went with Braun and Bertholdt. She does wonder about that. But Ymir had made her choices, all Lyanne has to do is make sure she'll fulfill her promise to take care of Krista.

"Krista, it's okay…" Armin's voice is gentle.

But Krista loves, humorlessly. " Krista ? No, I'm done with that… she's gone now. It was a role given to me in order to keep me alive…"

Lyanne frowns.

"Yeah, a girl from a book that I read when I was a child…" a pregnant pause. "...I think…"

This isn't the first time she feels it, but she does feel a little vexed knowing there's something else out there that she has to solve other than the problems of the titans.

Two days after the retrieval mission they did for Lyanne, she finds herself and Lia in Erwin's room, sitting with each other and listening to old men talk. Lia could insist all she wants about how Levi is still in his early thirties but she works under the supervision of Erwin and in Erwin's spirit, he's already fifty years old.

Besides, Pixis is in the room, too. Calling it old men talk isn't that far-fetched.

Lyanne badly needs to go to sleep. How is she making this conversation such a big deal? But every time she closes her eyes and tries to go to sleep -

- there is sand everywhere but unlike the one in her memory of the sea, this one is dark, creepy, a bit haunted. Somewhere far away, there's a distant screaming but the one screaming is in front of her. She tries her best to identify who it is, but it's deliberately erased. There are chains clicking and clacking, a very unsettling sound. That's until the screaming stops and when it returns, it returns louder and angrier.

It asks her, "Who are y-?!" -

A touch by her shoulder returns her back to reality and when she looks up, it's Lia offering her a newly-boiled cup of tea. It's minty. The kind she bought for Levi at the feast.

She smiles, genuine, as she takes it. "Thank you."

"- better? You only recently lost an arm. I can't think of any reason why you would want to go back to work." Pixis asks.

"Hanji already said he needs more rest. But he's not exactly listening." Levi answers in his deadpan voice.

"That's all I have been doing these past few days. Besides, I have a meeting with the rest of the Survey Corps. It would be rude to take a rest when they've been doing all my work."

" Lyanne is doing all your work." Levi corrects. "Paperworks wise. Lia has been helping." He doesn't sound particularly pleased with that.

Lyanne snorts and sips her tea.

"Ah, the rest of the Survey…" Pixis says. "I'll meet those kids Lyanne told me to take care of."

"Yeah, those brats…" Levi says.

"I heard you took three trainees before. I didn't realize it was their relatives." Erwin comments.

"I was the one who suggested to use Lyanne to seal the wall. She asked for a favor and I owe that one to her." Pixis answers.

"And you're excited to meet those kids?" Levi asks, raises an eyebrow. "You're that bored, old man?"

"Yes, I am."

"You need a drink?"

"That's exactly it." Pixis sighs. "My assistant took every alcohol I have and refused to give me one even after I finished my job."

"You got a good aide by your side." Erwin replies, a small smile evident on his face. "Lyanne was good, too, when she was my assistant."

"Stop acting like I'm not your assistant until now." Lyanne butts in. "I did all of your paperworks."

Pixis chuckles. "So, Erwin got Humanity's Last Hope as an errand girl before?"

Lyanne rolls her eyes.

" My assistant might actually surpass me in strength." Levi states as he drinks his own tea.

They all look at Lia who shakes her head.

Pixis continues chuckling. "Didn't Lyanne and Lia have another sister?"

Erwin looks at Pixis and answers, "Blythe. She ended up as Hanji's assistant. I can assure you that she doesn't disappoint as well."

"Hanji could testify." Levi says drily.

"All three of them are the better soldiers of the Survey Corps. I personally wouldn't know what to do if we lose one of them." Erwin's eyes look a bit far away. Like he's seeing something that none of them can see.

Not yet.

"We're right here." Lyanne makes sure her voice is firm, offended. She wants to breathe a sigh of relief when Erwin looks like himself again. There are times that Lyanne can clearly see when Erwin starts being unhinged. This is one of those times.

"Only good things, Lyanne." Pixis drawls. "Only good things."

She's about to retort something back when they all hear a knock on the door.

"That's Hanji. The Survey Corps is here. Come in." Levi orders.

The door opens and the first person Lyanne sees is Hanji who says, "Nice to see you awake, Sir," alongside them is Connie and Blythe who… looks troubled. The rest of the kids and other members of the Survey Corps shuffle inside Erwin's room and salute.

Erwin closes his eyes slowly. "At ease."

Hanji puts down their hands and starts, "So, you're also here, Commander Pixis. Perfect timing. I'm here to report on the current incident." Hanji points to Connie. "It involves his village."

"And you are?" Pixis asks.

"Connie Springer of the 104th of the Survey Corps, Sir."

"Since he was there as a witness, I asked him to come with me and my squad." Hanji continues.

"Connie," Levi calls. "Good work."

Connie looks shocked for a second, but it fades as soon as it comes. "Thank you… Sir…"

"Allow me to explain…" Hanji trails off.

If Lyanne is being honest, she's only half listening. When things get technical on titans, Blythe is usually the person who would understand it better than she does. Lia's understanding of titan is limited to killing them, which makes sense considering Levi Squad is on the front lines. Lyanne doesn't usually interact with the titans, anyway, not as much as Lia or Blythe do - Erwin leads and Pixis is right, she used to be a glorified errand girl.

"So, what you're saying… is that the titans are actually humans? "

Something inside Lyanne's brain suddenly clicks. Hasn't she heard that before? That's right… she has… she definitely…

"I was just thinking if it's possible to turn humans into titans."

Lyanne raises an eyebrow. "You mean titans are humans?"

"Were. They used to be human. Not anymore."

Yes… that… Blythe's theory from months ago. The one she was desperate for to not be true.

"I've been killing around, killing humans the entire time?" Levi asks, and his voice sounds hurt, but it's so far away.

Titans… are humans… Lyanne feels her stomach drop with the revelation. She can't imagine what Blythe must be feeling right now.

"Are you okay, Blythe?" Someone asks and Lyanne turns his head to find her sister, slightly losing her color. "You look pale."

Lyanne stares at Blythe - she just doesn't look pale, she looks like she's carrying the world and she couldn't wait to get crushed by it instead.

It's Hanji who notices it. "Why are you looking at Blythe like that?"

Lyanne realizes it isn't just her who's looking at Blythe. Of course, Lia would remember. She was there as well.

"It's nothing. We - we just -" Lia starts to explain but Blythe shakes her head.

"No, it's okay." She inhales deeply. "I'll tell…" her voice cracks. She clears her throat. "I'll tell them."

It's like watching an unknown soldier fight a titan and knowing they have no chance of surviving it. It's just a matter of how .

"I had a theory… similar to this one. A few months ago, I told Lyanne and Lia about it. I told them about the similarities of humans and titans. I even compare the tooth that Lyanne broke during her sparring with Mikasa and the tooth that we can find in a usual titan. They have… the same components, so to speak."

There's a heavy silence in the air that nobody dares to break. Everyone is looking at Blythe like she has two heads. She might as well have.

"Alright." Pixis announces suddenly. Breaking the silence but not breaking the tension. "I'll leave for now. If you guys have something to report, just send it to my office."

"Thank you for visiting me, Commander Pixis." Erwin says. "We will."

Pixis and his assistant shuffle out of the room, and before he leaves, he gives one last look to them before closing the door with a thud.

"What do you mean you had this theory?" Moblit asks. " Months ago? Months. Blythe, that's something you could have told us the same day, or week, or month . You could have told this to us even yesterday ."

Blythe breathes. "Yes. And I didn't…"

" Why ?" Moblit asks again, exasperated.

" Because -" Blythe purses her lips. "If I told my theory to anybody other than my sisters, the Military might get a hold of the information and Lyanne, my sister, might get caught up in the middle of whatever fuckery they're going to do and maybe this time, it won't be just enough to hurt Lia to save her ass."

"So, you would rather gamble the rest of humanity's sake for that?" Keiji butts in, stepping forward like he's asking for a fight.

Lyanne's hands shake. He meant her .

But, "Is my sister not part of the humanity we're trying to protect?" Blythe asks. She meets Keiji's eyes with no fear.

Keiji laughs angrily. "This is not about you knowing the theory. This is about you not telling us. Not even Squad Leader Hanji. You don't trust us that much?"

"Not when my sisters are involved," Blythe croaks out. " No ."

Keiji hisses through his teeth. "Is that it? So, all of those years - all of those - everything, we've been through together, meant nothing to you?"

"That's not what I meant -"

"But that's exactly what it feels like!" Keiji angrily yells at her. Eyes wide. "You don't give a fuck about humanity or - or to us -" he stops midway, mid-tears. Lyanne can understand it. " Don't show your face to me until further notice." He walks out, slams the door open and everyone hears every angry footstep he takes.

Rashad sniffs, sarcastically smiles. "Well. That's it?"

"I will formally apologise to Squad Leader Hanji if that's -" Blythe says but she gets cut off.

" Wow ." Rashad gives Blythe an amused but in pain look. "You're really… something ."

Nifa refuses to even spare a glance at Blythe. Instead, she pulls Rashad out of the room.

Hanji turns their head towards Moblit. "Can you check on them, Moblit?"

Moblit's eyes never leave Blythe. He doesn't look angry like the rest of their squad… just… disappointed and hurt . She can imagine. He nods at Hanji's order and slowly walks out the room. A part of Lyanne wants to ask Moblit to stay , to tell him that Blythe does trust them and care about them but it's just - it's just -

Lyanne can't think. She feels like she's disconnecting for a second and stares at the floor for a moment. She's tired, she hasn't slept and now the squad Blythe took care of hates Blythe because of Lyanne. But it's not her fault. None of them are.

Lyanne doesn't know how much time has passed or if that should matter. All she hears is, "So, you're fond of orphans, traitors and broken things?" that something inside her just snaps.

You're fucking kidding me. Connie angrily thinks. Again?!

First, it was knowing Reiner and Bertholdt were the traitors and then now, it's the fact Blythe knew about the possibility of humans turning into titans. Two of the worst situations of his life wouldn't have happened if they actually just told them what they know.

Connie lost his mother, his family, people lost their lives because of… this?

All his brain says, they wanted you to lose your mother! That's why they didn't tell! This is all their fault! So, Connie opens his mouth before he could think.

"So, you're fond of orphans, traitors and broken things?"

It's Lyanne who moves first and the only reason why Connie knows his very meager life is in danger is because of the self-preservation skills he managed to honed while dealing with survival in the Survey Corps.

Miss Lyanne's eyes are different. He usually sees it as gentle before. Soft. Warm, when she's talking to her sisters and 'kids'. It sometimes looks like he's looking at the abyss when she just - sits and stares at nothing in particular. Or when she's focused on fighting. It just depends what kind of situation she's in.

Right now, though. Connie isn't looking at the abyss. He's looking straight as his death sentence.

Lyanne has a particular look in her eyes, when she's in titan form. Connie is seeing it right now.

She stands up, curls her hands into a fist and it's happening so fast, Connie couldn't brace himself fast enough. He closes his eyes to at least not see how she's going to take them down but - nothing .

Connie hears a deep growl and someone saying, no, Lyanne, it's okay, don't.

He opens his eyes to find Jean stopping Lyanne by wrapping both of his arms around her and it looks like it's taking everything he has to not let Lyanne kill Connie.

"Say that again!" Lyanne snarls at Connie, baring her teeth. "And I'll knock your fucking teeth in!"

"Wait, Lyanne, don't - Connie didn't mean it -"

Connie grits his teeth. "No! I did! Isn't it the truth?" He steps forward but is still wary of Lyanne. "Blythe admitted it! That she had a theory about the titans being humans! If she told that to us earlier on, we might even manage to save my mom! And then with Reiner and Bertholdt, they knew, right? They knew and they never told us!"

"They must have a reason, Connie. I know, if they can -"

Connie laughs sarcastically. Jean is stupid. He's stupid and Connie wants to punch him. "You're blind because of your feelings, Jean . Wake the fuck up."

Jean tightens his hold to Lyanne's body as he hears Connie say what he just said. He knows he has feelings for her but he doesn't think it's clouding his judgement about their situation at all. It's hard for him to do that.

"Even you didn't want to believe that Reiner was a traitor." Jean reminds him gently. "They probably felt like that, too."

"No." Another voice says. It's Eren. "Maybe, Connie is right. Because they chose him and Bertholdt over m- us. "

Erwin speaks up. "I do want to know about that. From the report I have read, Blythe and Lyanne were aware of who the traitors are."

Jean feels Lyanne aggressively pulling away his hands that are wrapped around her and pushes him away. He curls his hands into a fist and tries not to feel dismay that her warmth is gone.

"I'm not going to apologise for not telling anyone about the traitors." Blythe says, firm . No nonsense. "But I will certainly apologise for what happened after. It won't happen again."

Eren frowns. "Are you not going to tell how you found out?"

"Eren," Lia's voice is high. Even Jean flinches when he hears it. "Not now."

Eren looks away as he closes his eyes.

"It doesn't really matter, anyway." Erwin says, slowly. "If they told us, it would just be another situation like with the Female Titan. The possibility of it being worse than that mission is high. The inside of the Walls haven't recovered from what happened during that time." He sighs. "Enough about that. I want to apologise for not being able to do my job as your commander, but I see that you have been doing well in my absence. Thank you. With that, I have a few announcements to make."

Everyone goes back to their original position. Jean tries his best to look at Commander Erwin and not steal a glance at Lyanne.

"As of now, the new Levi Squad are the new recruits. Your objective is to protect Lyanne and Historia. Do you understand?"

The collective yes answers.

"And… I want to offer my condolences. Mike Zacharias has died honorably fighting against a titan. We thank him for his service and -"

Crack!

Jean looks at the side and finds a dent in the wall near the window.

And Lia's bleeding hand.

"Lia!" Lyanne exclaims and Blythe's "Are you okay?"

"I'm okay." Lia replies in gritted teeth. "Just injured. Please, continue."

Before Blythe and Lyanne can go to Lia, Levi is on her first and grabs her injured hand. He clicks his tongue and wraps his cravat around it.

"I took too much of your time. This meeting is finished. Dismissed."

The rest of them salute and slowly shuffle out of the room. Blythe tells Eren, Mikasa and Armin to go first even if the three of them look like they'd rather die than leave Lia alone. Lyanne takes Lia from Levi, who's about to stand up but, "Levi, Hanji, stay, I got something else I wanted to discuss." So Levi clicks his tongue harder while the three sisters walk away.

"Is there anything I can do, Miss Lia?" Jean asks.

Lia shakes her head. "Thank you, Jean. Just go back and rest."

Jean still follows the three of them, though. Of course, he wants to know if Miss Lia is okay but he really just wants to spend his time with Lyanne.

At least he has decency to feel bad about it, even if it's only for a second.

Levi inhales heavily and exhales like he's smoking. He never smoked in his entire life. It's disgusting and he can remember something distinct about cigarettes in his early childhood. He can't remember what it is exactly and it could be anything but it's definitely not anything good.

Lia's hand is injured.

When he learned Mike is dead, he felt like it was a whole joke. Mike is one of the people he wanted to survive with him. Not even just for him but for Lia. He knew they loved each other. Mike adored Lia like a little sister, the only woman in his life he showed interest in. And Lia looked up to Mike like a big brother. Mike was everything Levi can't for Lia and he's also gone.

He has no time to think about it. He needs to know if Lia… if Lia is -

"Erwin, what is it you want to discuss? You -" Levi blinks and suddenly feels all of the hair in his body stand up.

Because in front of him right now, Erwin is smiling. In a way he hasn't seen before.

" Erwin ."

Erwin halts and gives Levi a look.

"You're smiling. Stop it. It's creepy. "

"Sorry." Erwin leans back to the headboard of his bed. "About the titans are humans theory… that's all I have been told since I was a child."

Levi pauses. "Oh? Is that why you joined?"

"Quit it, Levi. He's probably just tired." Hanji butts in.

"I'm alright." Erwin replies. "I… is Lia going to be fine? Mike's death hit her hard."

Levi clicks his tongue. "She's not. But she'll bounce back. That's how she is."

"Yes…" Erwin lifts the side of his mouth. "Of course, she would."

Levi has known Erwin for a long time. But there are times he feels like he doesn't really know who Erwin is at his core. This is one of those times.

Blythe wraps a bandage around Lia's hand. She wishes she could fix whatever Lia is feeling right now but she has to settle for this. "It's done."

They settle outside the building of Erwin's room. Thank God in one of the carriages there's a first aid kit.

Lia looks at her injured hand and asks, emotionlessly. "Who do you think killed Sir Mike?"

She's not surprised that's the first question she'll ask.

"I'm not sure." Lyanne answers. She meets Blythe's eyes and Blythe knows she's doing this to distract Lia. "But Ymir asked Braun and Hoover about an Ape Titan? You think that got something to do with that?"

"An ape?" Blythe asks, exasperated. "This world is getting more and more… tiring ."

"We did have a long week." Lyanne comments. "Also…" she breathes shallowly. "The voice is back. I hear it again."

Blythe snaps her head so fast at Lyanne, she fears her neck might break. Even Lia gives her a look of shock.

"What?" Lia asks.

"It's been back even before the feast… I just didn't know how to - tell. I mean… we were doing so well, weren't we?"

"What did you see?" Blythe asks, this time.

"Way back, it's the Sea. Recently, a lot of sand. Also, there's this screaming voice… it's… also something about - there was a conversation, and I -"

"I understand." Blythe stops her. Lyanne looks agitated, like this is something that's hard for her to talk about and she wants Lyanne to feel better rather than knowing the truth for now. "Yeah… actually…" Blythe frowns. "I saw something, too. Around the time you fought that titan who killed Car- Hannes."

"Sea?" Lia asks.

Blythe looks at Lia. "You, too?"

"It was swift but I… that's what I saw."

They all share a comfortable silence, and Blythe grabs Lia's non-injured hand and Lyanne's. She just wants to feel their presence. She just wants to feel that she's not alone. Hanji's squad probably can't forgive her and even if they do, Blythe doesn't know how to prove to them that she cares about them. She just wants to protect her sisters first.

"I'm sorry." Blythe blurts out. She doesn't know why. But it feels like it needed to be said.

"Yeah," Lyanne drawls. "Me too."

Lia just squeezes Blythe's hand..

Lyanne holds her hand tight and takes Lia's injured one with her another. She pats it, gently. "I'm scared."

Which makes the air that Blythe takes catches in her throat. Lyanne has always been the strongest out of the three of them. The one who took care of them, who also decided to take care of Eren, Mikasa and Armin. Hearing her say that…

"We're here for you." Blythe tells her.

Lyanne smiles but it fades in a second.

The sun is already setting but everything feels too bright.

Chapter 23: Levi Squad

Notes:

CHECK END NOTES YALL

ALSO ISAYAMA IM FREE TOMORROW WANNA DRINK?

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

"Are you sure you can carry that , Armin?" Mikasa asks, she's already carrying two heavy boxes herself.

Armin chuckles as a response. "Of course, Mikasa. Don't worry."

Eren tunes whatever they say next because his eyes wander back to his sisters. The three of them don't talk but their shoulders brush when they move. Lia is the only one who's not carrying anything - her hand is still injured and Captain Levi has been adamant about Lia not doing a lot of heavy labor, and Hanji has approved of it.

"This box is full of potatoes, Sasha. These are your favorite, right? And the bread." Jean's voice rings in Eren's ears. He seems amused.

"What? I don't know what you're talking about." Sasha counters.

"I'm sure Lya - Miss Lyanne and Miss Blythe can jog your memory." Jean insists. "Captain Levi will cut you into pieces if you try to make that again, though."

Sasha gulps. "I'm sure Miss Lia will have my back."

"We can't waste any of this food." Mikasa announces. She looks like she's going to choke anybody who disagrees. "Our main goal is to protect Lyanne and Historia and now we know Blythe has a theory about the titans, she will study more of them and Lia is still injured. We can't let anything happen to them."

"That's the most words that came out of your mouth, Mikasa." Jean comments as they enter the house. "But I do agree."

Eren finds Lyanne, Blythe and Lia already cleaning inside. He makes a noise of protest and puts down the boxes he's carrying. He immediately walks towards Lia and tries to grab the rag she's using. "Let me do it, Lia, you're injured -"

"But not out of commission." Lia tells him, firm. "Lyanne should be the one resting."

"Excuse me? I already let you help us clean, Lee. Don't push it." Lyanne counters. "Besides, Blythe is the one who should be -"

Blythe just snorts as she wipes the table.

They sound normal. They sound exactly how he imagines them to sound. The banter, the teasing, the tone of their voices - it's all there but something is missing.

The door opens and they find Captain Levi, Connie and Historia, who is holding a bunch of wood. Of course, Historia is going to do something like that, too.

"Why am I seeing Lia cleaning?" Levi asks, with the tone of voice that lets Eren and everyone know they are in trouble. "And Lyanne and Blythe…" he looks at everyone else in the room. "Somebody fix this, or so help me, people will know we're here when I make all of you run ten times around the farm."

All of them make noises of panic as they take the cleaning materials out of their hands.

"Lia," Levi calls. "With me."

Lia sighs as she moves towards Levi and they walk upstairs. From what Eren can tell, Levi's office is in one of the rooms on the second floor.

Blythe manages to steal the boxes of potatoes to fix in the kitchen and Sasha runs after her. Lyanne takes the wood out of Historia's hand and starts walking outside when Connie stops her. Eren notes how his eyes are tired, and there are dark circles around them.

"I-" he starts. "Miss Lyanne, about -"

Lyanne just squeezes his shoulder and shakes her head softly. She lets go of him and continues walking like nothing happened. Historia snaps a glance before following Lyanne.

Connie swallows the lump in his throat. "I just wanted to apologize…"

But they don't want to accept that, Eren bites his tongue. That's what's missing. Before all of these happened, they were free to talk. To have fun with them. Now, there seems to be a wall that only the three of them can access. The rest are outsiders, not because they want to.

But because it's easier .

He clenches his fist. Eren doesn't want that. Those three people are the only people that he has. Fuck losing a limb, losing Lyanne, Blythe and Lia… might as well just kill him.

" Eren …" Mikasa's voice brings him back to reality.

"I know, Mikasa." He says, softly.

Eren has to do something.

Mikasa tries to help in the kitchen but Armin and Sasha are already there, bothering Blythe as Blythe counts the potatoes and - Blythe slaps Sasha's hand that's trying to steal the potato and for a moment, it looks like Blythe will at least crack a smile.

Nothing .

Mikasa gives Armin a look, who nods.

Alright. Armin got this.

Mikasa leaves the kitchen and decides that maybe Lyanne will need her help. Not that Historia won't be helpful but Mikasa is good at anything physical.

That's when she sees Jean, already there, asking if Lyanne could just give him the axe and watch him do it.

Lyanne doesn't 'ignore' him but her body language says that she doesn't need help - as she proves when she cuts the wood in half and Historia takes it and puts another one - and that Jean is better off doing something else.

Jean walks out the scene, looking defeated and Mikasa grabs him by the collar and drags him out of Lyanne and Historia's earshot and hides them behind a tree.

"What - Mikasa -"

"My sisters are sad." Mikasa says.

"I'm aware ." Jean coughs a bit and fixes his shirt. "I've been trying to cheer Lyanne up, it's just not happening… damn it, Connie."

Truth to be told, Mikasa doesn't think Connie has anything to do with how Lyanne, Blythe and Lia are moving. What's happening now feels more like accumulated situations from the start and it's starting to boil.

Mikasa doesn't like that.

She doesn't like it when her sisters are carrying everything on their own. She understands why they didn't tell them about the traitors - she couldn't kill Reiner and Bertholdt herself - or why Blythe chose to hide her theory, Mikasa would probably do the same thing, if it means Lyanne would be safe. There are just things people would do anything to protect and for them, it's each other and Mikasa has long accepted that.

She just doesn't want to lose them. She doesn't want to be abandoned.

"I have a plan to make Lyanne smile." Mikasa tells Jean. "You want to help me?"

"You could tell me to jump in boiling water to guarantee Lyanne's smile, and I will do it."

"Good enough." Mikasa replies and leans forward to quietly relay her plan to Jean.

"It's not fair for you to blame them, Eren. You couldn't accept that it was Reiner and Bertholdt either." Mikasa insists.

Eren frowns. "I know that. I just…"

"I can't imagine what they feel." Armin mutters. "I mean, they probably also thought we'd get hurt when we find out our very friends were the traitors, right?"

Eren purses his lips. "It was my fault. I told Reiner he could share our sisters and - I promise, it won't happen again."

"Is that what matters?" Mikasa asks. "It's done already. Reiner already betrayed us, he already traumatized Lyanne beyond what we can repair, we need to do something about that."

"If our friends were the one who hurt them…" Armin says slowly. "How about we use our other friends to make them smile? They love Sasha, right? And Jean…" he blinks and smiles. "Jean would probably do anything for Lyanne, too."

"Do you think Captain Levi will help?" Eren asks.

"For Lia?" Mikasa snorts. She's seen it. That… midget… would stop at nothing if Lia is involved. Especially now, the other last surviving original member of Levi Squad is dead. "I can guarantee he will help."

"Alright, we need a plan." Armin says.

"You think that'll work?" Jean asks

Mikasa thinks of the times when she was living with her sisters and there was nothing in the world that could hurt them. "Yeah," she answers, throat tight. "It'll work." It has to, she thinks.

The components of the titan's tooth are the same… Blythe writes, and then remembers another thing and looks at the mess of papers in front of her. She's dreading of touching those. She looks up to her two sisters arranging the papers. "You guys got something about the Female Titan?"

"I think I did." Lyanne replies. "Wait, hold on-"

Blythe watches as Lyanne flips pages to pages. Lia does the same but slower.

Lia clicks her tongue. "I'm tired of this. Why can't I use my left?"

"Midget will kill - oh, here we go, here, Blythe, the Female Titan paper - us if he finds out." Lyanne says.

"He's not here." Lia grumbles.

"Your hand is still injured." Blythe reminds her, softly. "Besides, you're one of our best soldiers and Captain Levi is still recovering with his leg. If anything happens…"

"I get it." Lia replies. "I didn't - okay. I'm sorry."

It's not entirely a lie, Blythe notes. They do need Lia for that reason. As much as Mikasa is strong and good with the gear, she's still not on the same level as Lia or Levi and if anything happens that requires them to fight, they will need Lia to be in the front lines.

But the real reason is the fact when Lia is upset, she tends to overwork herself to forget . The last time, she cleaned an entire castle so hard to the point there were cuts and bruises all over her hands and they had to make her wear bandages for her to realize what she's doing.

"It's alright." Blythe answers, belatedly. She goes back to what she's writing. She doesn't seem to remember the time, the only reason why she stops for a moment is because when she turns her eyes a bit, she finds a paper of Mike's information. She reads it and it's just the usual… name, age, his job position, the cause of his death and -

ODM Gear, Missing.

What?

She reads it again and it's still what it says.

"Mike's gear was missing in the scene?" Blythe asks.

Lia is the first one to look up. "They said so. I wanted to go but…"

"Something wrong? I mean, it's not unusual for his gear to go missing. I've heard the body was…" Lyanne trails off.

"Sure. But… how do I say this, remember when you said Ymir something about the Ape Titan?"

"What about it?" Lyanne asks.

"If it's the same titan who killed Mike, and Ymir said Hoover and Braun are aware of this titan… the possibility of him taking Mike's gear is high."

"Why would they need it?" Lyanne asks, frowning.

"If the Ape Titan is anything like you and Braun… it means someone was also inside the Ape Titan and if they took the gear -"

"- it means they could use the gear against us..." Lyanne finishes.

"Or worse …" Blythe murmurs. "They have the better technology. I mean, if they could make humans as titans… it means they have more information than we'll ever have." She sighs. " Fuck . No, we can't just have a dead comrade, we also have to worry about our dead comrade being used ."

Lia slaps the table. Blythe looks at her and there's an unusual look in her eyes.

"I'm sorry." Blythe blurts out.

"It's not your fault." Lia croaks out. "I just can't believe in the very last moment of Sir Mike's life… he…"

"He's like a big brother to you." Blythe pats Lia's uninjured hand. "There was this joke going around the Survey that you were the only woman in his life he cared about."

"He's a funny guy, too." Lyanne murmurs. "I mean, with the sniffing and putting Lia on his shoulders… he was quiet but his actions meant a lot more."

"I know he will be mad at me if I cry over him." Lia sniffs. "So, I won't. I won't shed a tear over him. I will just make sure to kill whoever took his life."

Blythe feels a shiver down her spine. Lia has always been a gentle soul, the one who follows Levi like a puppy, who hugs the kids, who the people older than her like spoiling her… but she's never been like this. Like someone Blythe doesn't know.

Not like Blythe could say anything about that, though.

"Mike wants you to be safe." She settles with.

Lia doesn't reply. She just goes back to what she's doing.

Blythe opens her mouth to say anything when a knock on the door interrupts them.

"It's Armin, is Blythe there?"

Blythe frowns. "Yes. What's going on?"

"It's Squad Leader Hanji."

Blythe finds herself gasping, softly.

"They're looking for you."

Armin runs towards the carriage near the outskirts of the farm and finds Hanji, waving at him.

"Squad Leader…" he calls. "How are you?"

"I'm okay… is… Blythe fine? I mean, your letter -"

"She looked upset. I mean, the three of them are and… it's hard seeing them like that. So, I was hoping you could help me with Blythe."

Hanji nods, fixes their glasses and says, "You got my attention."

Armin smiles as he tells Hanji his plan.

"- this is way too far, Armin. Are you sure Squad Leader Hanji said we should go here?" Blythe asks. "If Captain Levi finds out…"

"Lia will be the one telling him."

"You know, that doesn't really work as much as you guys think." Blythe mumbles. "He'll just be more protective of her."

Armin doesn't reply. He's not exactly that worried about Captain Levi. Eren will be the one handing him.

"Oh, here we are." Armin points to a carriage.

Blythe sighs. She tightens her hold with the papers in her hands and says, "Alright. Let's get this over with."

Armin hopes this works out.

Jean takes another bucket to the well while Mikasa brings another bucket of water for them to use.

"Are you sure this will work? Is she not going to kick our asses if this backfires?"

Mikasa rolls her eyes. "You just didn't live with us. When we were kids, and we got upset, she liked doing this. She said a hot-head could be fixed by water."

Jean bites his tongue. Of course, Mikasa would know her better than he does. It's only logical. But it doesn't mean Jean enjoys being reminded of that.

"Stop asking questions and do the rest of your bargain." Mikasa reminds him, firmly. "I'm already letting you be part of this plan."

"I know ." Jean grumbles.

Eren knocks on Levi's office and when he hears a masculine, come in , he knows he's looking in the wrong place. He opens the door to the office and finds Captain Levi doing his own paperwork, alone .

"Jaeger," Levi calls. "What do you need?"

"I was just looking for Lia. Blythe is with Armin and Lyanne is with Historia. I thought since she's upset…"

Levi's hand jerks when Eren says Lia is upset. "What are you going to do?"

"What do you mean, Captain?" Eren blinks.

"What are you going to do to not make her feel upset anymore?"

Mikasa is right , Eren amusingly thinks. Captain Levi will really help .

"It's not going to be easy, Captain…"

"Do I look like I care?"

Eren has to smile. "But do you have anything that Sir Mike used to have?"

Levi raises an eyebrow.

Armin knocks on the carriage while Blythe looks uncomfortable. So, Hanji is right. She hasn't talked to any of the squad even with Hanji.

"Armin?" The voice that's undeniably Hanji asks.

"Yes, I'm with Blythe, too."

The carriage opens slowly and it reveals Hanji, holding a bunch of flowers. Armin looks behind him to find Blythe, blinking.

"What is this?" She asks.

"...flowers." Hanji answers.

"I can see that. What I mean is -"

All of a sudden, the rest of Hanji Squad comes out from where they're hiding and starts shoving flowers at Blythe.

"I'm sorry -"

"- Blythe, I wil -"

"- so-"

"What's going on?" Blythe asks.

Keiji walks forward, grabs the papers in Blythe's hand and pushes the flowers to her. "Take it."

"Kei-"

"I-" he breathes in. "I said a lot of awful things to you. Things that you don't deserve. I mean…" Keiji looks at Blythe. "I realized right from the very beginning, you didn't have a choice. Your sister became a titan, we put her in the front lines. Your other sister can only be used to prove we can make Lyanne obey us. Right from the start, there was no choice for you and it's hard… it's hard to trust a bunch of people who would offer your sisters just for us to survive… I didn't understand it, I refused to… but we were also at fault, weren't we?"

Blythe blinks and her eyes moisten. She sniffs before taking the flowers. "Thank you." She croaks out. "I… I love this squad."

"We love you, too." Moblit says. "I'm sorry if we made you feel like we don't. We do. I mean, Squad Leader Han-"

"Not now , Moblit."

Nifa embraces Blythe and whispers something in her ear that Armin couldn't catch. Blythe's response is to hug her back, just as tight.

Armin feels accomplished.

Blythe expected a lot of things from her squad. A couple of smart, and strong people working together? They could probably create miracles - and they had done so. Multiple times in the past, in fact.

What she doesn't expect is… this.

This meaning is her squad making a flower crown for her. No, scratch that. Making flower crowns for her and making it as a competition.

Rashad puts his finished product on her head and asks. "What do you think?"

"It's lovely." Blythe automatically answers.

Rashad smiles big, and proud.

Nifa takes off Rashad's crown and throws it somewhere. Rashad screams like he saw a titan as he runs towards his creation. Nifa puts hers on top of Blythe's head. "Perfection."

Moblit snorts. "Amateurs. Look at mine." He holds up the crown and it's… mate, it's wack but Blythe's love for Moblit wins over.

"It's beautiful, Moblit."

"She's lying but that's proof she loves this squad, Moblit." Keiji says.

Moblit snaps at him.

Blythe feels her heart goes warm. She's glad the squad is with her and that they understand her better now but… if they're willing to do this for her, she has to at least prove that she's willing to do the same.

"I, uh…" Blythe swallows. "I have something to say."

They all look at her.

"It's not going to be pretty or happy, though. Is that okay?" She asks.

They look at each other and nod.

Blythe opens her mouth and hopes that she won't regret telling them this.

Hanji is not surprised.

Well, they are. Kind of. With the information, of course but not exactly on who told them it.

It's Blythe.

"And you got all that, with a few information that was given to you?" Keiji asks.

Blythe blushes. "I'm sure anybody could come with the same conclusion."

"No." Nifa shakes her head. "You have that kind of ability… that's… Blythe, that seems to have such a heavy burden to carry. To just know these things…"

Hanji watches as Blythe looks down.

"Alright. All of you, shoo! Go!" Hanji waves their hands. "I'm going to talk to Blythe and it has to be private."

Keiji whistles in a manner that implies Hanji is going to do something… else but thankfully, Moblit smacks the back of his head and drags him out before nodding at them.

"What was that about?" Blythe murmurs.

"You know how Keiji is," Hanji says, trying to be as nonchalant as much as they can. "He's just being him, because he's happy the squad is back again."

Blythe hums.

Hanji clears their throat. "How are you feeling?"

"Me?" Blythe blinks. "Well, I'm fine."

"Armin said you were upset."

"Aren't everyone?"

Hanji breathes deeply, and exhales twice. "Remember in the feast…"

Blythe raises an eyebrow. "Yes?"

"No, I mean… when you… when we…" Hanji takes off their glasses, frustrated. They give Blythe a look and she's looking at Hanji, with the same kind, genuine eyes she always had. And Hanji can really love her. They could be. It's easy to imagine what it would feel like to just wake up next to her in the morning. Hanji would do anything for her. They take Blythe's glasses off and put one of their hands against her eyes.

"Squad Leader?" Blythe asks, her voice is small.

"I… I will do something right now. I need you to give me consent to do it."

Blythe is quiet for a second, and then. "Anything you do to me is fine." She pauses. "Because it's you."

Hanji shivers. They can feel their skin prickle. They lean in, and kisses the corner of Blythe's mouth. Hanji can feel their cheeks warm and if Blythe sees them like this, they just would know.

She's dense. But she can't be that dense.

"Squad… Hanji? Are you -"

"Just…" Hanji says. I kissed her , they think. I did. "Give me a second."

Hanji breathes.

Jean finds Lyanne in the same place she was with Historia this morning. There's no Historia, though. She probably went inside the house. He looks at Mikasa, who's holding two buckets of water.

"Ready?" Jean asks.

"Don't hold me back," is all Mikasa says before she starts running towards Lyanne.

What ? Jean wants to ask before he starts running after her. I haven't done anything!

It's probably because Lyanne is sitting down and trying to rest that it takes her at least a second before realizing two people are running towards her but Lyanne reacts too late when Mikasa throws the water at her.

Lyanne has her eyes closed, slowly, opening them and her eyes meet Jean's. " Oh? Is this what you're planning on doing?"

Jean swallows the lump in his throat. "Yeah!" Be brave, Kirstein. You want to see her smile. Get through this!

Lyanne stands up and shakes the water off. Mikasa already put down one of the buckets of water she was carrying a while ago. She takes it, and Jean couldn't see how but she's already throwing half of it on Mikasa and throws the rest on Jean.

Even before Jean can react, the two buckets that he's carrying have been taken by the two women and they start throwing them at him.

"Wait! No! This isn't what we planned!" Jean exclaims.

"When it comes to throwing water, Kirstein, " Lyanne tells him before throwing water at him again. "There is no plan!"

Jean looks to Mikasa for help but all she does is throw water at him again that he manages to dodge.

Mikasa clicks her tongue. "You're wasting water."

"Stop throwing them at me!" Jean pleads but she's not listening.

Nobody is. Even Lyanne doesn't stop throwing water at him.

A particular strong wind comes that Jean feels himself shivering. Jean feels his adrenaline rush kicks in. Why is he the only one feeling this way? He looks up and finds Lyanne about to throw water at Mikasa, instead, before he decides to run towards her and pushes her to the ground.

They both fall, with Lyanne beneath him.

She looks… beautiful like this.

With her messy, wet hair all over the place, blush on her cheeks and an almost smile that reaches her green eyes. If this was before when he didn't know about his feelings, he might have blamed it on how the sun looked against her skin but it's different now.

Before Jean can continue to ogle at Lyanne, she shifts them over where now Lyanne is the one on top of him. She puts one hand besides his face and she says, with a smirk on her face, "I win ."

Did she? Why does it feel like he won instead?

Jean wraps his arms around Lyanne and hugs her. There are a couple of things that he realizes when he does this and he will probably overthink that later but for now, he's just glad she seems alright.

"Lyanne, get off him so I could throw water at his face."

Lyanne pushes him off a bit but Jean refuses to let go.

Mikasa clicks her tongue. " Cheater ."

Jean just tightened his hold.

"I will smack you, Kirstein!"

Eren looks at the badge Levi is holding. He's surprised they even managed to salvage it considering what happened to the body. Rumors said Sir Mike was almost unrecognizable. They got lucky.

"I was…" Levi frowns. "I wanted to give this to her in the first place. I just didn't think she would want it right now."

"Trust me, Captain, she would want that now more than ever."

Levi gives Eren a look and sighs. "I believe you."

"We should give this to her now. Where do you think -"

Levi doesn't let him finish his sentence. "Don't worry about it. It's time."

Eren blinks, confused on what his Captain meant.

A few seconds later, a knock on the door and a soft, Captain Levi, your tea is heard.

Right. Of course. Lyanne did say Captain Levi couldn't live without Lia's tea.

"Come in." Levi calls.

Lia opens the door and widens her eyes when she sees Eren. She even calls his name. Eren is about to help when Lia shakes her head and walks towards them.

"I can do this much." She grunts as she puts down the tray with a cup of tea on it. "What are you doing here?"

"He was… helping me." Levi answers instead.

"Oh." Lia says softly. She looks at Eren with gentle eyes. "Are you now?"

"Yes." Eren replies. "I was good, you know."

"Of course, you are." Lia looks like she wants to laugh.

"Lia," Levi starts. "I… I know how important Mike is to you. And as much I want to bring him back, I can't."

"Of course, Sir." Lia nods. "I understand."

"But you don't have to forget him." Levi offers his hand with the badge and Eren watches as Lia's eyes shake. She knows it's Mike's. "This is the only thing we managed to recover."

Lia swallows the lump in her throat and shakingly takes the badge. "I can have this?" She asks in a small voice.

Eren has never seen her like this. She's always been the one who's good at the gear, who kills titans for a living, the protegé of Humanity's Strongest Soldier. He can't help it. He stands up and grabs Lia to embrace her.

"It's okay." He whispers. "It's okay."

When he turns his head, he finds Levi looking at them with an indescribable look on his face.

He feels Lia hugging him back and her tears fall in his chest. In half a second, Lia manages to push Eren and nods at him.

"Sorry." She croaks out.

"Don't apologise." Eren replies. He gives a look at Levi, who stares at him back. "Alright. I'll go. They probably need my help in the kitchen, anyway."

Lia sniffs as a response.

Eren walks out of the room, and softly closes the door.

Hopefully, Captain Levi knows what to do.

Levi doesn't know what to do.

The closest intimacy he ever had was with Isabel and Farlan and that didn't last long. Hugs work, he can clearly see it when Jaeger gave one to Lia but he's never like… them . Soft in places where he's already been rough.

"Thank you, Captain." Lia looks at him, red-rimmed eyes, blushing cheeks and red nose. Something inside Levi just gives up.

He stands up and beckons for Lia to come to him.

"Sir?"

"Just…" he waves his hands. "Come on. Come here."

Lia blinks but she still does what she's told. She walks towards him and Levi grabs her shoulders first, and then slowly wraps his arms around her. He rests his chin on top of her head.

"...sir."

This is not working , Levi thinks as he changes position. He slowly slides his head down to her neck and he rubs his nose against the place where the pulse is alive.

Lia squeaks. " Levi ."

Levi shivers and tightens his hold around her. "Say that again."

"Sir?"

"No. When you said my name."

Lia is quiet for a moment, but she says in a small voice. " Levi ."

Fuck seeing the sky for the first time. This is what freedom feels like.

Eren leans against a wall and slowly slides down. He looks at the wall in front of him and leans his head back.

The plan… it's working.

"We just need to show them that they have people to protect here." Eren comments when they finish talking.

"And we'll use the Survey?" Armin asks.

"Of course. Listen, Armin, you saw what they can do for each other. We don't know when they will feel they had enough and just decide to leave. We need to make sure they know they have people here. That's when we need to show the Survey is here for them."

Armin doesn't look convinced, Mikasa looks like she just needs to be told what to do so their sisters won't leave them.

Eren will use the Survey and when the time comes, he will leave them too, along with his sisters. They'll live somewhere where the war can't touch them.

Where it's just him, Mikasa, Armin, Lia, Blythe and Lyanne and Eren will be happy.

And Eren stands by that.

Sasha manages to cook something edible with the help of Lyanne who saw her in the kitchen and realizes Sasha is about to just 'wing' it.

She's happy seeing everyone smiling right now. Connie and Jean are bickering again, Captain Levi and Squad Leader Hanji are talking about something that leaves Hanji chuckling and Levi turning his head towards Lia but Lia is busy making sure Lyanne and Blythe are eating. Armin and Mikasa are looking around and giggling at what they see and Sasha? Sasha is just relieved that everything is back to normal.

Famous last words.

A man emerges out of a titan. He's wearing glasses and the wind makes his blond hair dance.

"Not yet, eh?" he comments.

He slowly walks out of the titan like it's nothing.

But one could say, the titan is a beast .

Notes:

hello, everyone! it's me, your author, ryiason!

thank you so much for taking your time to read and to comment and to kudos even with your busy schedules. we, me, lyanne and megs, appreciate everything you do.

so to make it official, everyone.

THIS IS THE END OF SEASON 2.

PSA:

DROP YOUR QUESTIONS FOR SEASON 2 QnA! We'll answer them the day after tomorrow so plenty of time 💙

Chapter 24: END OF SEASON Q & A II

Chapter Text

Guest: FUCKIN BEAUTIFUL FINISH! My first question is, do your characters have canon birthdays or star signs? If they do, what are they? My second question is, what has been each of your favourite moments from LLB in your season 2?

Ryiason: lia is a taurus and was born on may 8. My favorite scene? lia punching a wall when she hears mike's dead

Lyanne: lyanne is a capricorn, december 31st. favourite scene is the tree discussion with reiner and co.

Megs: blythe is a libra! her birthday is October 22nd. favourite scene? definitely blythe & hanji interrogating the priest! i just LOVE how bly snaps suddenly and goes all dark! by far the best blythe moment ever tbh

Guest: It was a good season. My questions are, if Lia's love interest isn't Levi, who would it be?

Does Real Person Lyanne feel pressured about being the main character?

Is Blythe british? The mate, it's wack is funny.

Ryiason: eren.

Lyanne: not really? a little bit in the beginning, bc i know for the most part mcs aren't the most interesting in the beginning of a story, but not at all now.

Megs: unfortunately…

DistressedGod: Aww, a break! I would miss you! I haven't read but it says we can ask questions. I have been thinking about it but what are the differences between you and the characters? And what does it feel to write something like that?

Ryiason: everything is different. lia was born in the person I inspired her from but they're completely different people.

Lyanne: not that much? it's just my traits taken to the extreme bc of the circumstances of the world setting, which in the long run leads lyanne to being completely different.

Megs: blythe is the kind of person i would like to be, i love her headstrong attitude and her compassion! she and i are both undoubtedly smart, only she's more logical and has more common sense than i do irl admittedly.

anastasia: LLB are complex creatures, I have seen various character comparisons done by various readers but I would like to hear from Liyanne, Ryiason and Megstiell;

Ryiason , if you could place Lia in another universe with her motives from AOT universe, where would she go? What would her purpose be?

Liyanne , were Lyanne to be in another universe, whom would she be? Also her purpose? Would she serve as the protagonist?

Megstiell , is Blythe going to be the femme fatale psychopathic female antagonist we can only dream of if she were to be in another universe? (that comment about placing her in a room with Hannibal and The Joker is still a weird fantasy of mine [not nsfwly... unless] so!) yeah, where would she be? What would she do?

Ryiason: omniscient reader's viewpoint and protecting kim dokja. #READORV

Lyanne: i'm picking my two favourite universes: dc with jason todd and ff7 with cloud strife *ryiason and megstiell helped me pick the characters*, a combo of those 2. purpose: helping her friends and family out and people in need. I see lya more of a .. antihero? maybe between a protagonist and an antihero.

Megs: i would absolutely love to see blythe as a femme fatale psychopathic female antagonist how did you know? that aside, if i could see her in another universe it would firstly be Marvel, i see her as someone like Charles Xavier.. smart, loyal to her family unit & hides info when she deems necessary to keeping others safe you know? ryiason said wade wilson but saner and honestly i agree, gotta see her do that where's francis? scene, me & liyanne also discussed bly in the dc universe, i saw people in the comments say she's like harley quinn, which in itself is a huge honour as i LOVE harley but we also said she would be like Barbara Gordon, Talia al Ghul but also Bruce Wayne himself. This answer is so long but i rly like ff7 and i think Blythe would be a Turk… or even someone like Rufus Shinra himself.

Cameron: Hey! Great second chapter! Just wanted to know as an open question to all three of you, what were your opinions on 139? I personally disliked the execution but the idea was perfect, are we going to see a full fix it play through here? Also a kinda childish question but what music genres would LLB listen to in the intermission universe?

Sending love have a gr8 break :)

Ryiason: as a fan, it was garbage but as a person of color it was still garbage.

lia's music taste depends. but she likes music like bts - tear, the album

Lyanne: so. I see what isayama was trying to do there, going with the themes of reality, not everything goes as planned, you can sacrifice so much and end up empty handed, wars and conflict will continue no matter what you do, and there's that sense of.. hopelessness but with some hope for the future. that said. execution was yes, dogshit. I feel like with a few more chapters it would have been amazing, but something tells me yams wanted to finish on ch 139 bc of what the number represents. Also I read on twt from japanese people that also the dialogue was in this apparent M6 font, which is very hard to translate and describe apparently, hence why the eng trans dialogue sounds like garbage and why there's so many diff interactions across the different language official translations.

So yea. I see the idea and message, garbage execution. Armin is on my chopping block. Something tells me anime will flesh it out a bit more, yams always said anime is the canon thing and he always added to it. Who knows. We shall see. 7.5/10 ending. *besides the shit execution tho, 80% of it panned out how i theorised it would*

About the if this fic is a full fix it. Well, you'll have to read and find out. ;)

For music it's anything rock and movie soundtrack like scores, which are also my preferred genres.

Megs: good idea, poor execution! I personally didn't like how armin was written in the end. I liked Armin throughout and then he was slowly… yeah well turned to shit i guess. No fault to Isayama though i loved this story but some parts of it were just… not for me. I personally think Hanji deserved to live (thats me being biased but its fine).

You know that Lady Gaga mv where Beyonce is like "trust is like a mirror you can fix it if its broken" and Gaga finishes it with "but you can still see the crack in the mf reflection"? Yeah. That.

Blythe's music mirrors my own taste. Music that makes you feel like you're the misunderstood character going Through It in a dramatic montage. If the music dont make me feel like that then i dont want it.

Javier: Have a good break! My question is what poetry do you associate with your OCs?

Ryiason: richard siken - wishbone and litany in which certain things are crossed out also alex turner a choice of three

Lyanne: I have no idea tbh, I only fully know romanian poetry from school, and if anyone knows that, it would be George Bacovia - December. Yall can type his name alongside "poetry" in english and you will find a lot of translations for his work.

I looked around to find some english analysis of him and his work:

"Yes, Bacovia is full of sorrows, full of sadness, but, at the same time he has a special sensitivity. Bacovia is in my mind like a North Sea landscape : gray, harsh, but at the same time nostalgic and full of poet was born in a dusty old Moldavian city named Bacau, a town deemed "The place where nothing happens" by another great Romanian writer Mihail Sadoveanu in his novel of the same name. But despite his nickname, 'The Gray Bacovia' was an important representative of Romanian symbolism."

"As a poet, Bacovia was initially considered a Symbolist, especially due his first volume of poetry, Lead (1916) and Alexandru Macedonsky's influence, but his volume "Yellow Sparks" was considered as an example of modern poetry. Several critics pegged him as a poet of the newer literary currents, such as surrealism, automatic writing, imagism and existentialism."

Link: /romanian-literature-george-bacovia-the-poet-of-grayness

Megs: being an english lit student this made me so happy! i adore the work of sylvia plath, and although her work can be particularly heavy and filled with taboo subjects, i love the way she writes and produces such imagery with her choices of words. my favourite poem of hers is Lady Lazarus, which talks of wanting to end their life but coming out of the experience stronger and resembling that of a phoenix and every experience she becomes reborn. Which is exactly how Blythe is to me. Every single experience she's had where she's been close to death has made her reborn in a way. When she told the priest she's immune to killing? Blythe from chapter 1 wouldn't have done that. Its the experiences with Carla etc that shaped her and made her reborn. Rising from the ashes so to speak. So im gonna go with Lady Lazarus by Sylvia Plath. I will say though, Plath's poetry does have a lot of imagery of WW2 and Holocaust symbolism so people may find this upsetting I wanted to let that be known just in case you wish to read it. My main reasoning for choosing this was the Phoenix symbolism and character development parallels.

Guestie bestie: Question: do you guys like Charlie's Angels? LLB remind me of them so much.

Ryiason: i liked the original

Lyanne: original movies supremacy. The new one….. Eh.

Megs: the movie w cameron diaz, lucy liu and drew barrymore shaped me as a child it was my favourite movie growing up so thanks for this its made me happy!

angela: fuck it, which villain from any series would each of LLB bang mad why

Ryiason: doflamingo and katakuri of op sukuna of jjk

Lyanne: The almighty, luscious hair, juicy lips Sephiroth. HAVE YALL SEEN THE GUY?

Megs: im literally watching Gotham rn and all i can think of is Jerome Valeska and Ed Nygma i will not accept criticism. Also, uhhhhhhhhh Venom kinda…. yk…. yeah. ehhh ww1984 was a garbage movie but i will be Max Lord's trophy wife. Do we count Loki? Probably not. He's hot though. Hela too! GOD i have so many i'll be here for hours… omg and the three vampire ladies from the van helsing movie….

.: is there any way we can get a snippet of s3? maybe a sentence or two?

Lyanne: mister kenny ackerman might or might not mention someone against a certain someone wink wink ;)

i would like to know from all 3 of you each, what YOU think your OCs bring to this world that EMA never could? so far i am so enticed by all 3 of them its impossible to have a favourite. One word to describe your OC gogogo

and last but not least, are you guys taking care of yourselves as well as each other? do you all live together etc? you seem like a loving family unit of sisters.

Ryiason: what we want for y'all to get from this story is to know that freedom is a choice. and that the reason why we aren't free is because we are also living with other people we value.

Lyanne: a word would be resilient.

And for the last part, fun fact, we never met each other in real life yet. Jsjsjs. We live so far away from each other it's hard, but we have known each other for almost 7 years now. I may take the credit here lol, 7 years ago, on twitter, i met the girls and made a gc with them and others. And we have stuck together since. We know each other so well now, they're really like my second family. We've also made a promise to each other, to be each other's bridesmaids if/when one gets married. I for one want to meet them more than anything. To hug them and squeeze the living daylights out of them jsjsjss.

So yea, in a sense, we take care of each other as much as possible, within the confinements of the online space.

Megs: a word to describe blythe would be compassion.

DistressedGod: CAUGHT UP! AHHHHHHHHH I LOVE IT! BEAUTIFULLY WRITTEN. The LyJean, BlyHan and LeviLia. Thank you!

Questions are: I am currently reading JJK and I wonder if LLB is in that universe... who would they like and what kind of powers would you give them? And if you guys are reading it too, who are your favorites so far?

(Gojo and Lia would BANG. I know it.)

Ryiason: i've read jjk. i guess powers would noli me tangere kind of thing and my favorite is toji

Lyanne: haven't read jjk yet so i can't reply on this one.

Megs: i dont read it sorry :(

jaguar: THIS SEASON WAS ANGST FEAST. it was tiring to read at times and makes me wonder how it is for you to write. but u came through ryiason wah wah wah

questions:

is ryiason single? im joking hehe

how does it feel to finish a season? is it like getting an adrenaline rush?

Ryiason: i am single currently emotionally unavailable lol

yeah im glad its finished and now we can tackle another part of the story

Lyanne: it does feel good, like megs said, finally seeing what we outlined put on paper per say.

Megs: feels great! i love it when it all comes together :)

alexis: Who are your fave authors? Does it reflect how you write your OCs?

Ryiason: i dont have a favorite author i do have favorite novels and i think yes those authors who wrote them influenced me a bit

Lyanne: fave authors are the likes of agatha christie, scifi writers like arthur c clarke, isaac asimov, frank herbert, etc. so idk really :)) with lyanne i mostly takes bits of myself and twick and modify them to fit the aot world setting and environment tbh. And idk where that's influenced from.

Megs: my favourite author is victor hugo! i can see blythe's dark tones resembling him, sure!

Guest: this is a strange question but out of the three of you what else are you interested in writing? like as individuals?

Ryiason i can see you like writing other things like KnB and GoT what else would you like to write?

Liyanne , any plans to write more marvel? You have a cool style

Megstiell i like your ff7 and jojo fics and hxh ones, your mandalorian fic was adorable too, anymore plans? (lol maybe the Gotham joker Liyanne says you love hahah)

Look forward to more of your works thank you for this snk fics.

Love and blessings ❤️

Ryiason: a lot of orv and some dark stuff murder horror kind of thing

Lyanne: at the time i wrote my marvel fic, i had in mind stuff like maze runner, teen wolf, more marvel ofc, final fantasy 7. Tbh i guess i got demotivated bc it was hard for me to write a lot of words, having that being my first ever fic, i have many many ideas, but when putting on paper it's like i couldn't expand it enough. And time passed, uni was/is breaking my back so i stopped.

And now tbh my interests are like already old school? Besides maybe marvel who'd read maze runner etc today? I have ideas for FF7 fics, but a lot of my ideas revolve around long fics and tbh atm, i don't have the mental capacity to get onto them. Yet. but i do want to get back into it one day for sure. And thank you for reading my lone fic and giving your thoughts, really does boost my confidence tbh! Thank you!

Megs: i plan to finish my mandalorian fic! if i get inspired i will continue to write more stuff but atm im prepping to do my phd if im accepted so im very busy :D thank you for reading our individual work its very kind ❤️

NOTE:

Lyanne: i thought yall would find it interesting, so i'm leaving my MAL list here for your viewing.

/animelist/liyanne?status=7&order=4&order2=0

Chapter 25: Intermission: Attack on Titan, 2020 Edition Part III

Notes:

we apologised for not posting for so long. there's a reason for that. first of all, the three of us hated the ending a lot. honestly, as much i personally want to say, "yeah its an author's choice blah blah blah" the way it ended pissed me off to the point it affected my emotions and the way i would write. i didn't want to. i love this fic, the community we have and the people im making this with. the same goes for liyanne and megstiell, it would be a betrayal if we ruin our own fic because we hated the origin. we needed time to move on from that, and needed time for ourselves. megstiell is busy for her phd, liyanne is on vacation rn, and was going through a time for her mental health, i have work and life keeps getting in the way .

but our loves for our fic is still the same. we WOULD finish it. we just needed time to process a lot of things.

by the time of september 12, i guess, will be back in business. i know you're interested of seeing your favorite trio and we do too! and we hope you continue to watch over us and we apologised for ghosting, just like that.

we love you.

yours truly,

ryiason 💜

Chapter Text

Armin has been with Eren for a long time. He's been with Eren since he was a child, and he was confident he knew everything about one of his best friends. He knew Eren is like the sun; shines too brightly and if you look way too long, you might get hurt. He's like fire, burning endlessly. He's so passionate, so kind, so very Eren.

But this is… this is the side of Eren he has never seen before.

"Blythe, I want to give Armin some chocolates. Can I?" Eren asks, and the one Eren is talking to is in the 'living room', as Eren calls it, with the other two women he saw before Eren dragged him to a room Armin is unfamiliar with.

"I don't know. Can you?" She asks back.

Eren rolls his eyes. " May I?"

"Yeah, give him some chocolates!" Another voice yells out. "Seriously, be easy on the newly transported boy!"

"Yeah, but it was Eren I'm giving a hard time to! Relax!"

Eren giggles softly and opens a door that doesn't look like a door and it lets out a very cold air and it has a bunch of food inside.

"What is that?" Eyes wide, Armin takes a closer look.

"It's a refrigerator. People put food and water in there, for storage." Eren takes a rectangular thing and passes it to Armin. "Here. Have chocolate. Sit down, by the way. We… we have to talk."

Armin sits in one of the chairs Eren points to and he almost feels uncomfortable with how comfortable it is. He takes the thing Eren is handing him out, opens it slowly and it's… chocolates.

Chocolates in a neat square.

"Eat." Eren gestures again as he sits across Armin.

Armin takes a piece and moans on how good it is.

"How did you get here?" Eren asks.

"I don't… know. We were - we saw you vanish out of nowhere and got swallowed by some light and then - you were… you were gone." Armin's voice cracks. "We didn't know if you're still alive or…" he steals a glance at his friend but it surprises Armin when Eren's face doesn't change a bit. "Mikasa is… worried."

Eren just nods. "I believe she would."

Armin frowns at how Eren talks… There's something different. It's casual but sophisticated at the same time. It's like he's speaking a different language even if Armin can hear him just fine.

"Eren -"

"Sorry to interrupt," a woman with almost the same hair color as Annie comes walking towards them. "I'm going to need to cook. I have managed to manipulate Lia from leaving her comfort couch to help me. I'm going to need you both to leave."

" What? I'm your cooking assistant!" Eren exclaims. "Besides, Lia would just -"

"I'm going to cook food from her country, Eren… besides…" She gives a slight look of acknowledgement to Armin. "Take care of your friend."

Eren pouts but manages to leave the one with Annie's hair and another woman with a black, short hair who looks like she'd rather go to sleep.

The other one is not on the place he landed on but Eren makes him sit and touches a square box that suddenly has little people in it.

"Wh- what is that?"

Eren giggles softly even if he does still look upset. "It's a TV."

Armin is still a bit confused. He doesn't know where he is and why Eren is not talking to him. As a matter of fact, it looks like he'd rather not talk at all. Even when Armin mentioned Mikasa, he didn't react. Or the fact Armin managed to be in the same place as Eren is, Eren still doesn't look that happy of seeing him.

"Eren, are you mad at me?" Armin asks, anxiously. "I mean…"

"I'm… I'm not mad at you." Eren grunts. "It's not that. I'm just…" he rubs his head. "Things are different here, Armin. There's no war here. No titans. Nothing ." A pause. "I saw the sea you'd like to see so much." He lets out the first smile Armin has seen and this is different from all the smiles Eren has given to Armin and Mikasa. "You'd like it. I'll ask Lyanne if she can drive us there."

"Then, why…"

"Seeing you…" Eren bites his lip. "Seeing you just reminded me of something. Maybe I have to go back."

"Of course." Armin blurts out. Eren has to.

"But I don't want to." Eren looks at him. "I don't want to kill titans. I don't want to go back there and have to kill. I want to stay here. I want to be here. With these people. With my friends."

"I am your friend, Eren." Armin doesn't understand. He doesn't want to. "Eren, this is not your place. We have to go back! We need you!"

"But I don't want to." Eren closes his eyes and clenches his fist. "I'm needed here."

Armin is hearing Eren speak the same language as he is. Armin hears it perfectly clear. But it doesn't make sense at all. The voices and sounds coming out of the square box thing is loud but it seems to be fading away, in the distance. Armin is staring at his best friend, since childhood and realising that who that person was is not the same person in front of him right now.

His hair is a bit longer, he's wearing clothes that Armin hadn't seen in his life. And the way he presents himself, is not the same Eren he knew. This one is calmer, in every aspect. Eren before would be easily angered, easy to laugh, but this one smiles more, thinks before he could speak, and wiser.

In some ways, Armin doesn't like this Eren.

"You said there's no titans here. They don't need you." Armin says after a while.

"You'd be a fool to think that." Eren snorts. "You think titans are the reason for wars? If it was, Lia wouldn't have to always feel uncomfortable when she leaves the house."

"Eren -"

But before Armin could continue it, a woman comes out of a room and her hair is the same color as blood.

She blinks at them. "What's going on?"

Eren breathes out and smiles a little. "Nothing. We were just talking."

"Is he tired? He can sleep in your room, you know." She looks at Armin. "We'll talk to you after we give you some time with Eren."

Armin nods. The woman leaves them. He gives a look to Eren and he watches Eren's eyes follow her, and even Armin could hear a muffled laughter coming from the place he ate the chocolates on.

"This is my place now, Armin." Eren says softly. "This is where I want to be."

Armin is just glad Mikasa isn't here to hear that.

Chapter 26: Intermission: Attack on Titan, 2020 Edition Part IV

Notes:

hello everyone, ryiason here!

sorry for breaking our promise about the posting stuff. life happened. so we wont be promising anything but just to be sure everyone we are going to finish this fic. we love you mwah.

Chapter Text

Armin has been with Eren for two weeks, and for those two weeks, Armin realized he doesn't know Eren. At all.

He's still the same Eren. The bright-eyed, sun-like deity human being Armin idolized. The one who will lead them to freedom. But… he's just so different from the image of Eren he had in Armin's head.

First of all, Eren likes being with the three women. He will cook with Lyanne, he will study with Blythe, he will discuss the story Lia is writing. There will be jokes Armin couldn't understand, there will be things happening that Armin isn't a part of, a whole world that doesn't include him.

At night, Eren will sleep in the living room with Armin. But instead of Eren talking to him or Armin trying to convince Eren to go back, Eren will sleep instead. And the cycle will continue.

Except for today.

Armin wakes up with Eren shoving a jacket that has… feathers?

"Come on, Slim Shady." Eren says before waving his hand for Armin to hurry up.

Armin is confused, and sleepy but he wears the jacket. And before leaving, Eren tells him to brush his teeth.

This Eren is also very deliberate on cleanliness. Not as extreme as Captain Levi but strict all the same.

With a facemask, Eren and him ride a 'taxi'. This is the first time Armin is seeing this. A weirdly shaped vehicle that has a machine and is used for transportation. Eren talks to the driver, like they've known each other for years.

"This pandemic is killing us, brother." The driver complains.

"Yeah, yeah, my sister is a photographer, yeah? She hasn't done any of her business for months, she's getting restless. It's terrible."

Things like that.

When they reach their destination, Eren pays the driver and waves his hand goodbye, thanking him for service.

Armin smells the air. Fresh. A little salty.

"Follow me." Eren commands while walking forward.

Armin follows behind, and is shocked to see what the book he read called sand.

"Eren?" He croaks out. A little small.

"It gets better." Eren replies, smiling. The most genuine smile Eren ever had that directed at him. "Take your shoes off. The sand would feel good under your feet."

It's cold. But Armin doesn't care, he starts running. He feels free. Liberated. Sand. When there's sand, there's sea. And if there's sea, it means freedom.

And there it is -

The neverending water, salty in nature. Armin feels overwhelmed looking at it.

"This is the second place I've been other than the house." Eren says, nostalgic. "It felt a lot like freedom."

Armin silently tears up and sits on the sand, wondering what these feelings inside of him are.

"But this world is far from being free…" Eren continues and there's a hint of sadness in his voice that Armin has never heard before. He looks at Eren, and in Eren's eyes reflects the sea and just like Armin felt for the sea before he sees it, Eren feels far away and something Armin is unable to reach. "Maybe freedom never existed in the first place."

By the time they're back, it's already lunch and Blythe and Lia are the one in the kitchen. They're swaying their hips a bit because a song is playing.

Huh-oh, what a time to be alive

Living in the future, blinging on my hotline

"We're back!" Eren announces.

Both women give them a look and smile when they see the two of them.

"Call Lyanne for lunch, Eren." Blythe orders. "We're about to eat."

Eren nods while motioning to Armin to go to the dining table.

Armin purses his lips. His emotions are still all over the place, his eyes are puffy and his nose is red. He feels a bit listless too but his mind is clear.

Maybe freedom never existed in the first place.

But aren't they free?

There are no titans trying to kill them. People get along well. Eren talked to a stranger like they've known each other for years, for Sina's sake. What does Eren mean there's no freedom? Isn't the reason why Eren likes it here is because of that?

Eren comes back with Lyanne in tow. She looks tired, yawning as she walks. Lia and Blythe have finished setting the table and they all start to sit around.

Lia helps Lyanne put food on her plate while Eren looks worriedly at her.

"Are you okay?" He asks.

Lyanne nods slowly. "Fine. I just edited a lot of my pictures. Making portfolio stuff. I need a side hustle while I'm still at home."

"How is it? You said you didn't need help but you look like you're running on coffee and fumes." Blythe retorts.

"You're not that far from it." Lyanne huffs. "Been eating biscuits drier than a desert."

Eren laughs softly as he eats.

Armin follows suit but the food tastes like ashes in his mouth.

For a moment, they're all quiet. All he hears are spoons hitting the plates.

It's Blythe who breaks it. "By the way, Lyanne, I have this coworker who's about to do a paper on wars in Eastern Europe. I thought it's better to ask a native around those parts to make it more authentic. You got time? She'll pay."

"Yeah, man. I need the money." Lyanne nods eagerly. "When is it?"

"When are you free?"

But before Lyanne could answer, Armin suddenly blurts out. "You got wars here?" in a tone that seems to be sarcastic.

All of them give him a look. Lia narrows her eyes and Blythe starts drinking her glass of water. Lyanne raises an eyebrow.

"Excuse me?"

Eren puts some food on Armin's plate. "Keep eating. Less talking."

"No, Eren, let me talk." Armin counters.

"Yes, Eren," Lyanne says slowly. Like she's talking to a child. "Let him talk."

"It just seems to be a joke if there are wars when this place is this peaceful. I went outside today with Eren and Eren talked to the person using the 'car' and they seem to get along. People are allowed to go where they want, people are allowed to eat whatever they want… but that's not the same to us. We got titans. We got things trying to kill us. Unlike here, where people value conversation more than killing each other."

"Okay." Lyanne puts down her cutlery and puts her two hands together. "Let me get this straight. You think we're not at war. You think we're at peace. You think people talk here and things will just solve itself. You think -"

"Are you just going to repeat everything I've said?!"

Lyanne looks at Armin like she finds him ridiculous. "Of course, I will! I will repeat it over and over again in hopes of gaining some of the audacity you've presented us today."

Blythe sniffs and slurps her pasta.

"You think wars happened because of what, titans? Because of some catalyst?"

"That's why people are fighting in our world -"

Lyanne chuckles harshly. "Oh, God… you sweet summer child, you really think that's it… who do you think unleashes those titans, huh? You think those things just grew on some trees?"

Lia tears a piece of garlic bread and dips it in gravy. When she takes a bite, the crunch sounds are heard.

"Wanna know why there are wars? It's because humanity fucking sucks. That's it. There's no other explanation for it. If they aren't fighting other countries, they're killing each other. Because someone just has to be in-charge. Because someone has to feel more powerful than the rest of their people. If people who are at war could just talk it out, you think my ancestors would have let our country be colonized? Lia's country was colonized for hundreds of years, for fuck's sake! You think Britain won't have colonies if the countries they invaded would just hold hands to their oppressors and sing 'Praise the Lord'? Use your brain, you Blond Chucky looking ass bitch."

Armin looks down, feeling ashamed.

"If things could be fixed because of some therapy, nobody would be mentally ill but here we fucking are." Lyanne mutters angrily.

Lia awkwardly sips her war as Blythe asks, "So, when are you free?"

"Next week. Around Wednesday."

"Got it."

"Can someone give me some garlic bread?"

Lia pushes the plate across the table.

Nobody gives another look at Armin again.

"You called the poor kid Blonde Chucky, Lyanne." Lia sighs exaggeratedly. "His self-esteem…"

"He's annoying. He deserves it." Lyanne shrugs. "Every time I read him in the manga, my blood boils. Some starry eyed romanticizing fool. If I didn't pay for the book, I would have dunk that shit like Kobe."

"Relax." Lia reminds Lyanne.

"He's just a drop of blood in the water and I am a starving shark, alright? If he had pushed it, I would have strapped the manga right around his neck, and thrown him out the window. He should count his blessings." Suddenly, Lyanne chuckles darkly. "Now that's something I'd pay to see."

Blythe yawns as she rolls over the bed. "Let Eren fix him. It has nothing to do with us now. He can take it up to God, if he wants."

"Amen, sister."

Lia rolls her eyes at the both of them. "If that kid starts acting like the second half of the manga, you wouldn't say that."

Blythe gives Lia a look. "I'll join Lyanne with her murder quest if he does something like that."

Lyanne and Blythe look at each other and start laughing. Lia narrows her eyes but can't help but laugh alongside them.

Lia hates Armin in the manga, too.

Chapter 27: Pain

Chapter Text

Eren slowly walks on the hallway. It doesn't creak so much but the quiet of the night makes things ten times louder than it should. He only has one destination, anyway. In the farthest place, near the window, there's a room that his three favorite people are staying in.

When he reaches it, he leans his ear to listen if they're already sleeping. Usually, they are. Especially when they're doing training or when Commander Erwin or Squad Leader Hanji are involved, it's easier for the three of them to fall asleep.

But that doesn't seem to be the case today.

Muffled it may be, Eren can still hear them.

"You've been cleaning Mike's badge for some time. You should probably wear it in your uniform." Lyanne suggests.

"I'm not sure." Lia replies. "I'm not good at sewing."

Blythe interjects, "I'm good at it! Or not. Decent. I'm decent at it."

Lyanne snorts. "We get it, man. You're talented."

Eren can hear the smile in Lia's voice. "Oh, yes, she is."

Blythe giggles helplessly. "Enough jokes! I'll sew it for you!"

Eren leans back and stares at the door. Behind this are Lyanne, Lia and Blythe laughing, talking, being here , where they are. They're not leaving him.

But he doesn't know why every time he tries to grasp their hands, it still feels like they're slipping away.

Levi is Humanity's Strongest Soldier. He doesn't really care about the title, he cares about giving the best results he could give. After all, he came here to carry the will of the people who sacrificed their lives for him. If they want to call him anything, he'll accept it. He still has the same goal from the very beginning, anyway.

But when it comes to Lia, he can't deny it, he feels soft and gentle in places he should have been rough.

He just can't say no to her. When she's hurt, he feels distress. If she ignores him, he feels an unexplainable feeling in his chest that he's aware is called being 'upset'. He had heard enough about it from Hanji, and they had correctly guessed he felt this way about Lia.

It doesn't mean he wants to continue hearing about it.

While Levi is thinking hard about his predicament, he's also reading Erwin's nonsensical letter. His head starts to hurt just by reading the first sentence of Erwin's chicken feet handwriting.

As if on cue, Lia gently puts down a cup of freshly boiled tea on his table and he acts like he doesn't notice it. She doesn't linger, either. She walks away and does something else inside his office.

If things are like before, the rest of his squad would be outside clamoring to get Lia out because they found something shiny.

A knock is heard on the door and a very excited, "Miss Lia! Miss Lia, Miss Blythe just did something cool!"

Levi sometimes forgets he's babysitting a bunch of kids.

Lia gives a look that resembles a baby to Levi and Levi can feel his irritation vanish like smoke. "Captain, can I?"

Can you ? Levi thinks bitterly. Of course, you can. "I'll go, too. If it's something dangerous, we're fucked." He doesn't forget to shove Erwin's letter down his pockets.

He follows closely behind Lia, who is talking to Sasha who bravely called her, even if she was inside his office. Considering Lia has this habit of being clumsy in her normal life, if something happens, Levi is there to help. It's actually funny to think about that sometimes, that contrast. How she's the prodigy he raised and yet she's this way when she's not on the battlefield.

As soon as they come down, he can hear the kids excited voices. He frowns as he walks towards the door to find…

Blythe flying something made out of paper while it's attached to a string. The wind is apparently on their side today.

"WHOOOOAAAA!" The voices exclaim in unison.

...In Sina's name, this is what his squad finds interesting?

He turns his head to look at Lia and finds her smiling, Levi bites down the complaints he has. If she isn't here, Levi will rain on their parade. This farm is not exactly as safe as they want to be and the more exposure they have outside, the more it's dangerous for them.

But Lia… she rarely smiles these days. Sometimes, Levi will look at her and he can feel her desire to be somewhere else.

And Levi… he's always been afraid he'll wake up and she's gone.

He shakes his head a bit and grabs Hanji, who's also acting like a kid, laughing and yelling at Blythe to fly that toy in a different direction.

"What?" Hanji asks, frowning. "I was having fun, Levi!"

"Erwin sent a letter."

Hanji's face changes. "Did you burn it?"

Levi shows the letter to Hanji.

Hanji takes it and reads it in a few seconds. They crumple it, before walking to the kitchen and using the fire in the coal to burn it. Hanji hisses. "I don't think it's safe for Blythe to find out about this."

Hanji hasn't explained in detail but Levi gets the gist of it.

A different brand of monster, sometimes scarier than a beast. People like Lyanne, Blythe and Lia are what people on the four corners of these walls should be afraid of. Levi understands that Erwin has taken these three for this very reason.

"You think I want to say it?" Levi huffs. "We have no choice. Erwin runs this show. We will follow that moron." A pause. "We have to."

Levi says what he has to say but there are moments he wonders if he should lie. He walks back to the door to find Lia is now the one flying the toy, and something inside his stomach feels a lot like dread.

What does it feel like something is about to happen?

"You brats." Levi calls and Lia turns her head to find him on the door. "Get inside. I have something to say."

That… that doesn't sound good.

She wraps rope around a tree and walks as fast as she can. That seems to get everybody's senses back and they immediately walk behind Lia.

When she enters the kitchen, she finds a bunch of plates in the sink.

Oh, no . She gapes.

"You got time to play but no time to wash the dishes?" Levi's voice isn't even that loud but everybody can feel the coldness in his voice.

"Sir, I… I forgot." Lia says. She'll just take the responsibility.

Levi gives her a look of are you kidding me? But he just turns his back and motions everyone to sit around the table.

She walks towards it to sit somewhere but she feels something dangerous coming upon her left and sees Levi raising an eyebrow at her. She obediently sits beside him.

Because of that, it's automatic that beside her is Lyanne, Blythe is across from her, sitting next to Squad Leader Hanji. Eren is beside Lyanne, Mikasa is across Eren and Armin is next to Mikasa. Jean, Connie, and Sasha don't sit. Something tells her the three of them are atoning for something. Historia sits on the farthest chair.

While the rest of Hanji's squad brings their own chairs.

Moblit turns to Sasha. "You want my chair?"

Sasha purses her lips and shakes her head. She whispers, "It was Connie's turn to wash the dishes but I forgot to tell him."

Moblit looks at her, deadpan.

Lia tries not to laugh.

Levi knocks on the table. "Listen up."

Everyone's attention is on him.

"As you may know, Erwin is in the city doing whatever it is he is doing and he sometimes writes letters to inform us what's going on. A letter came today. First of all, he strongly suggested that we lay low."

That's reasonable.

"Of course, our plan to seal Wall Maria is still our biggest objective. So, training Lyanne is still our biggest priority."

Lyanne nods her head. "Understood."

It's actually quite funny, the relationship between Levi and Lyanne. Blythe would argue that it's barely a relationship and it's hanging by a thread but they tolerate each other better now. It's probably because of the training Levi and Hanji have been giving Lyanne. Two soldiers can have animosity with each other but at the end of the day, they are still the people you share your life and death with.

"And…" Levi looks at Hanji. "Do you want to be the one to do this?"

Hanji seems to be startled and gapes at Levi. "Do we have to?"

Levi purses his lips. "We can't withhold information. Not right now."

Hanji sighs. It's obvious whatever it was they're about to say, it's going to be big. "In the letter… Erwin also informed us… Minister Nick… he's dead."

Moblit asks, after a moment of heavy silence. "What did you say?"

Hanji sniffs. "He was murdered."

Blythe suddenly stands up, and immediately turns around to leave. Lia follows Blythe with her eyes. This feels a little like… when Carla… Lia is about to follow Blythe when Levi grabs her wrist and pulls her close to him.

"Sir, I-"

"Let her be." Levi orders.

"Let me talk to her." Lyanne suggests.

Hanji stops her. "No. Let me do it."

But Mikasa is faster than any of them and runs to Blythe's direction.

Lia winces a bit and looks down to find Levi's hold on her tightens.

She has been thinking about this for a while now. But Levi has been acting like a vicious dog when it comes to her. Following her, looking at her… sometimes, she catches him staring at her, like he's memorizing her face as if it is the last time.

She wants to tell him it's alright, that she will stay alongside him but she bites her tongue. She can't make promises. She can't even lie.

When Erwin gives them permission to check on Nick, he's already a corpse.

Hanji doesn't know personally what kind of strings Erwin has to pull for even the Military Police to let them see Nick but they're very grateful.

Nervously, Hanji checks on Blythe.

Still expressionless, cold… the only time she twitched was when she was talking to Lia and Lyanne. Hanji curses in their heart, on why they aren't as powerful as Blythe's sisters.

Blythe takes off the thin cloth that's hiding Nick's face and body.

Hanji catches the bruises and cuts in his body, and even some shallow hole in near his chest. Hanji can't take another look at it so they turn their head to find Blythe staring intensely at Nick's predicament.

"They said he died of burglary." Blythe whispers viciously. "Is there a thief that has time to cut a hole on someone's body like this before they steal?"

Hanji doesn't say anything. They have no words. What can they say? Hanji can't even stomach this themselves.

"Do they think we're stupid?" Blythe sneers.

Hanji doesn't even want to think of what the Military Police think of them. Just the fact Nick is really gone… Hanji feels guilty. It was no joke they thought of Nick as a friend . You may not want to see them again but you want to hear from them from time to time.

Blythe puts the cloth back on Nick's face. Hanji can hear Blythe's small voice whispers, break a leg, Minister Nick .

"- volunteers to help us in a project?" Hanji asks in a very cheerful tone. Like they just didn't ask who can come with them to torture some people. "We just need two. The rest of you stay here to distract the children. "

Mikasa raises her hand. "I will."

"Thank you." Hanji does feel genuine gratitude. "Anyone else?"

Hesitantly, Jean raises a finger.

"Okay." Hanji breathes a sigh of relief. "Remember, this is a top secret mission. We can't fail and we can't let Lyanne, Blythe or Lia find out. Understood?"

Historia gives a look of hesitation but in the end, she gives up. "Why are we not telling them? Secrets are not good when we are in this kind of situation. Especially for those three. Especially to Miss Blythe. She -"

"The last time she saw Nick, she almost threw the guy on the other side of the wall." Hanji grunts. "You think she can do that again?"

Historia closes her mouth with a snap.

After relaying Levi's orders to the rest of them, Hanji lets Jean and Mikasa follow them to a more distant location and in an abandoned building that everybody has forgotten.

When they enter, the gloomy and eerie feeling is strong and envelopes them in a way that's suffocating. But they march on. The farther they walk, the louder the yelling gets louder.

Levi is leaning against a wall and grunts at Hanji. "You're late."

"Had to make sure the rest of the kids know what we're up to. We can't let the other three find out."

Levi doesn't say anything. As a matter of fact, it was Levi who proposed the idea not to tell. Hanji knows it's about Lia, and the fact she only recently lost Mike. Watching a man get tortured… it might bring up some memories. Hanji agreed on the plan because they're a little selfish too.

For Blythe's sake. Hanji is aware of the connection she had with this man. It was only for a few moments, but Hanji knows whatever happened that day stayed with Blythe.

This is another guilt to carry. Hanji refuses for Blythe to be responsible for it.

Levi orders Jean and Mikasa to stay in a spot and guard them. Mikasa nods, while Jean doesn't look good. But Hanji doesn't ask. Why would they? There are different moral lines in people's lives that are too difficult to walk on. Jean has at least some humanity left.

Levi enters a room, and inside it, is the one Hanji doesn't want Blythe to see.

Minister Nick. Tied, bound, and gagged.

"Long time no see, Nick." Hanji shakingly smiles. "Sorry to the accommodation you find yourself in. We just have a few questions to ask."

"Enough chatter." Levi pushes Hanji and closes the door. "Let's finish this quickly."

But who says torturing someone is an easy business? It takes them at least six hours to torture and a few more hours to carry out the rest of the plan. By the end of it, Hanji thinks they finally realize how Jean doesn't look too good.

But someone has to do this job. If not, who will?

Hanji visits Nick, one last time, before they set them free. Hanji doesn't know why they have to do it but it feels like a task they need to fulfill.

It's nonsense talk. By the end, Hanji feels like they fulfilled nothing.

"...The stage always needs someone to play this role. When one actor leaves, another one jumps in just in time to take their place. The world will always have people like us…"

Hanji turns their head to give Nick one last meaningful look.

"So…" Nick's tears fall uncontrollably. Like he's saying he never wanted to be part of the show in the first place. "Break a leg, Hanji."

Hanji opens their eyes to find Blythe looking at them.

Hanji never disclosed the information of what they had to do to Blythe and her sisters, not because they don't trust them. Hanji would lay down their own life for Blythe alone.

But then Hanji sees her like this and they wonder, did they do the right thing?

For a while now, Lyanne has admitted that she's pretty good at the physical stuff, things that will exert a lot of energy. Which is okay because she can't do Blythe's smartness - the ability to put two and two together and come up with something that works. She can't do Lia's skills in the gear, she's faster than Lyanne can ever be but when it comes to combat, that's where Lyanne's talent lies.

Lyanne, I'm sorry .

She shakes her head, to stop herself from remembering him but it's too late.

Because he liked how she knew combat, and she liked how she was teaching him like a little brother.

"Lyanne," Levi calls for her, which brings her back to the present. "Focus."

They're not doing exercises with her titan form but her actual physical body. She's been in a position that has some of her body parts she didn't know existed to work.

"Trying." She grits her teeth.

Hanji sighs. "Levi, sometimes, you can afford to be loose around the rules."

"I don't want to hear that from you. "

Lyanne tunes them both out and tries to calm her mind.

Calm… calm… after this, she can go back to the farm house and rest. She closes her eyes, and feels like the wind against her skin. It's not too hot nor too cold, it's just right. It feels pretty familiar. It feels a lot like breeze she felt during a night and she was in the middle of the woods -

An image of a man suddenly flashes her mind. It's blurry but as she tries to grasp it again, another image comes.

This time, it's like Lyanne is looking at her in real time.

A woman holding a comb, her dark hair looks silky soft and she's probably one of the prettiest girls Lyanne has ever seen.

Then the image vanishes as fast as it could. Lyanne forcibly opens her eyes and stumbles down the ground. She hisses in pain as her butt takes the fall.

"Lyanne!" Hanji exclaims. "Are you okay?! Oh no, what if you're injured? Blythe's going to kill me!"

"Calm down." Levi orders. "If you're tired, let's finish this early."

Lyanne isn't tired but she nods, anyway. She has to tell Blythe and Lia what she saw.

Shit . When things like this happen, it's never a good premonition.

Unbeknown to Lyanne, Jean is actually watching her, and hiding awkwardly against a tree. He gapes when he sees her fall down but eases when Lyanne stands up with the help of Captain Levi.

He can't help but smile when she starts walking away while fixing the hair tie. He sighs dreamily when Connie slaps the back of Jean's head.

Jean almost bites his tongue. He angrily turns around. " YOU!"

"Stop daydreaming! If Captain Levi finds us out here, he'll think we're escaping chores." Connie huffs, clearly irritated. "Sasha will complain about how we left her there. You know how she complains, right? She won't shut up unless I give her my food or she tells Lyanne, Lia or Blythe about me, I don't - dude ."

Jean frowns at Connie. "What?"

"You got that look on your face."

"What look?"

"The I'm-stupidly-in-love-with-someone-that's-out-of-my-league look."

Jean breathes in deeply and exhales, loudly .

"What are you doing?"

"Meditating." Jean answers. "Because I'm one minor insult away from choking you."

" Insult? You should be thankful to me! I'm giving you a warning, everyday, to not make a fool out of yourself. Imagine if they find you like Miss Lyanne. Imagine if Miss Lyanne finds out you like her."

"What's so bad about me?" Jean glares at Connie. "I'm not so bad, right? I'm a talented soldier of humanity."

Connie snorts before he laughs so hard, he starts choking.

"What?" Jean growls.

"Oh, Jean… Miss Lyanne hugged you one time, you think she's going to marry you."

Suddenly, Jean imagines Lyanne in a white dress. He blushes. "No, I'm not!"

"Yes, you do! And I'm telling you it's not going to work out."

"Why?!"

Connie sighs, like he has had enough of Jean's shit. " Because she's Humanity's Last Hope. And if there's a choice to make between you and her sisters, who do you think she'll choose?"

"She doesn't have to choose."

Connie shrugs helplessly at him. "Keep telling yourself that." Before walking away.

Jean follows Connie with a big frown on his face. They enter the farm house and head to the kitchen. Sasha is there washing the dishes. She turns around to look at them and sighs in relief.

"Finally, you're here." She mock-whispers. "Fortunately, you got here before Captain Levi or else you're toast." She takes all the herbs and carries them in her arms when she catches a glimpse of Jean's face. "What's wrong with you?"

"Miss Lyanne." Connie interjects.

" Connie ." Jean hisses. To Sasha, he answers, "It's nothing."

"What do you mean Miss Lyanne?" Sasha asks.

"What else?" Connie says airily. "He's having his crush moment."

Jean is about to hiss at Connie to shut up but Sasha beats him to it.

"So, you don't like Mikasa anymore?"

"Huh?" Jean blinks. He is actually quite confused on how fast Sasha changed the subject.

Connie follows. "Huh?"

"I mean, didn't you like Mikasa before? Now, you like Miss Lyanne? Do you just collect girls, Jean?" Sasha raises an eyebrow at him like she's judging every decision he's ever made in his life.

"What?! No! It's not - it's not like that! It's different!"

Angrily, Sasha puts the herbs back and points an accusatory finger at Jean. "What do you mean it's different? You said you like Mikasa before!"

"I did!"

Sasha's eyes grow bigger. "See! You're collecting girls!"

Connie, instead of helping, actually sits and smirks at Jean.

"Are you not going to help?" Jean scowls at him.

Connie waves his hand. "Nah, I'm enjoying this. This is so much better than seeing you being absolutely destroyed in combat."

"No, Sasha, listen… I did like Mikasa." Jean explains. "But I liked her in a way you'd like a… a… Well, food. Right? Like you'd see something you want to eat, and then you get a taste and realize you actually liked it more when you were just staring."

Sasha narrows her eyes. "I don't like that."

"I can't explain it well." Jean answers drily.

"And? To Miss Lyanne?"

Before Jean can answer, Historia comes running down the stairs and yells, "Is anybody willing to go with me? We need more wood!"

Jean bites his tongue.

Connie stands up and exclaims. "I'll go!"

"Okay!"

Connie gives him a glance at the corner of his eyes and turns to leave.

Sasha, on the other hand, has lost interest in Jean. She starts collecting the herbs and puts them in a jar.

Jean sighs and sits down on the place Connie just sat on.

Mikasa, huh… Sighing, he remembers a memory he's been trying so hard to forget.

"Let us go! I promise you, we won't tell anyone! Please, hey!"

But no matter how loud he screams, Jean refuses to turn around. In the corner of his eyes, he can see Mikasa not even hesitating.

A lot of his peers think he liked Mikasa because she's pretty. That's one of the reasons, who wouldn't like a pretty face? But he also liked how she's skilled, how she's loyal, how she's decisive. When she decides on something, she will finish it until the end.

Thinking about it now… he really did like her, didn't he?

"What are you looking at?" Mikasa breaks the silence. Or their silence. The man never stops yelling.

"No, I was just… reminiscing. Like when we first joined the Survey Corps."

"What about it?"

"I liked you back then."

Mikasa suddenly falls silent.

Jean can't blame her.

"You don't like me now?"

"No, I mean… before… it was a different kind of like. I still like you now. I mean, I would trust you with my back if ever we need to fight a common enemy."

"I don't know what liking someone is." Mikasa tells him honestly. "Armin had told him before that you like me but I don't know what it meant."

Jean blinks. Sometimes, he forgets that Mikasa is the same age as he is. "Liking someone is when you want to be around them."

"You feel that about family." Mikasa points out.

Jean thinks of his mother. Yeah, he does like his mother. But he doesn't like his mother the same way he likes Mikasa or Lya… he coughs. "There are different kinds of like. For example, the like we have for friends. The like we have for family and the like we have for someone like our parents had for each other.

Mikasa turns her head to look at him. The one time she actually moved after hours of standing here. "And? What do you feel about Lyanne?"

Jean doesn't expect that. Not from Mikasa. "I, uh… I'm still thinking about it." He answers truthfully.

Mikasa stares at him some more before she goes back to her original position. Jean lets out the breath he was holding.

"I don't know what kind of like you have for Lyanne but the one I have for her is love . She's one of the people who took care of me, of us, and I promised myself I would give up my life for her safety." Mikasa declares. "If you don't feel like that about her, I suggest you keep whatever it is to yourself."

Jean doesn't reply. He doesn't think Mikasa was waiting for it.

"PLEASE, LET ME OUT!"

Jean sighs again as he looks at the window. The sun is up high, but something still doesn't feel right.

They said it was just a simple mission. They said it would be risky but if they play their cards right, nobody has to get hurt.

Sasha grits her teeth as she uses her gear to fly. Then what the hell is going on right now?!

There are so many thoughts running in her head, that she doesn't know what to acknowledge first. But reality doesn't give her time to breathe.

"HEY, THERE'S LYANNE!" Connie exclaims.

Sasha turns her head to find Lyanne and Historia lying down on a wagon, fast asleep and Captain Levi chasing them.

"It's Captain!" Armin adds.

They all follow Levi's lead.

She wants to ask if Lyanne is okay, but Levi gets shot at but cleverly kills his opponent. She swallows all of her questions.

This is not the time for that.

They need Lyanne back. She doesn't know what everyone will do if they lose her.

She turns her head to find Lia in an expression Sansa hasn't seen her before.

They need to get Lyanne and Historia fast.

Jean has never killed a person before.

An entire human being.

He's always been clear on where his bottom line lies and as much as he can, he never crosses it. He has to have some morality left in him if he wants to live peacefully.

But the world never thinks the same way as he is, obviously.

As the man he just threatened with his gear is about to shoot him.

Fortunately, Armin is faster and much more decisive than he is. He shoots him first before the man can do anything else.

Armin starts to take over the horse but Captain suddenly screams their names and Mikasa flies to where he is and takes him by force.

In a small moment of mercy, he sees Lyanne's peaceful face as she sleeps.

Then everything turns into shit.

Their enemies start to take over the wagon again and he watches helplessly as they take her away.

Again. It's happening again. First, when Reiner took her, then it was when a titan almost killed her and now this.

No. No. No, no, no, nononononono. It can't be. He has to do something. He has to take her back. He starts to run but something holds him back, it's Captain Levi.

"Don't." He orders.

But Jean is not having it. What will happen to him without her? Without -

"LYANNE!"

His heart feels like it's about to be ripped into shreds. His entire body is tingling in sensation foreign to him. He never felt like this before.

Because it never hurt like this before.

Because he never loved anyone as much as he does with her.

But it's too late now.

She's gone .

It happened so fast, Levi couldn't even blink before he hid himself in a wall.

Damn it. He thought the roof would be safe. Now his people who were with him are now dead.

He prepares himself just in case he has to attack. But nothing could have prepared him for the next turn of events.

"Yo, Levi."

A voice he hasn't heard for years. The last time it was, he was still a little brat.

He frowns and grits his teeth.

"You've grown up, yet?"

Levi doesn't even dignify him with a response.

"Heard you've found a toy." Heavy footsteps are heard on the roof but it stops where Levi can see him. "Her name is Lia, right? Haven't seen her for myself but if she can impress you enough, it means she's worth it, eh?" He chuckles humorlessly. "What will you do if I take her from you, hmm?"

Levi tightens his hold with his gears.

"She must be so good to you if you're keeping her. What do you think Levi? Can you let your old friend borrow your girl?"

It takes a lot for Levi to lose his control. In this line of work, it's expected for everybody.

Too bad. Kenny seems to know his only weakness.

"KENNNY!" He screams.

Kenny starts laughing like Levi just said a joke. "There you are…"

Jean is still trying to free himself from Levi's hold but Levi may be shorter than this brat but he's still stronger than he could ever be.

"Jean, we can't do this right now. We will find a way!"

"What if they kill her?" He growls. "What if it's too late? What if it was Lia instead?! Would you still say that to me?"

Levi stares at Jean. Honestly, he can't even bring himself to be mad at this fool. He can understand what he's feeling. If Kenny did take Lia away from him… he's not sure of what he could do.

Failure.

Blythe doesn't know how a seemingly fool proof plan starts fucking up so bad, it took Lyanne away. Her sister. One of the reasons why she can still keep it together.

And then, like a cruel joke, they took three of the people in the Hanji Squad.

Is that fair?

Is that fair ?!

Coming back to the farmhouse where every single corner has Lyanne's traces on it, she can't help. She flips a table. She walks back and forth, thinking of any solution to bring her back. Nothing. Nothing.

Nothing .

She starts touching things in her finger tips. This wood has been cut by Lyanne, she did it before the mission because she's afraid they won't have time after. She starts throwing it against the walls, the ceiling, the floor… this utensil, these plates… everything, everything.

Her sister. Lyanne . She's gone. They took her.

She screams as she angrily slides everything on the corner down to the floor. She kicks the table, punches a door. She walks in circles.

"Nifa…" her best friend. The other girl of the group with a smile that feels a lot like comfort.

Her people. Her friends. Her squad. Gone . Dead.

She screams again as she starts throwing anything she can get her hands on. In one instance, she suddenly slips and falls down the floor. It doesn't hurt. She doesn't feel anything.

"BLYTHE!" Lia exclaims. "Blythe, are you okay? Are you hurt?"

Blythe crawls towards Lia and Lia immediately slides down to hug her. "Lia, they took her…" like a child, she starts babbling as she cries. "Lia, they took Lyanne."

Lia hugs her as she wipes Blythe's tears. " know. I know, Bee. It's okay. We'll get her back."

"My- my friends…"

Lia hugs her tighter. "Blythe, I'm sorry."

"Lia, Lia, Lia…" Blythe has nothing else to say but to say his sister's name like a mantra and hugs her tight like she's going to vanish into dust.

Eren can't sleep.

After all that happened, even if he feels fatigue, he can't close his eyes and not see Lyanne and Historia being taken away.

It took three of them to stop Blythe from following them. There was nothing they could say that could stop Blythe, that Mikasa had to attack her nape to make her fall asleep.

It was the very first time they had to do that. It was the most disrespectful thing Eren had done against Blythe. Or Lia and Lyanne even.

He's worried about Lyanne, as much as everybody. But he comforted himself with what Armin had said. The people took Lyanne and Historia need Lyanne for something. They just had to take Lyanne back before they could successfully take it from her.

Eren stands up because if he lays down, he thinks he's gonna get worse. He walks outside his room to find Blythe and Lia are walking out the door.

"Hey, Blythe, Lia… what are you doing?"

It's late at night. Tomorrow, they're going to talk about how to get Lyanne and Historia back. Where are they going?

"We will be back." Lia answers.

They continue walking out and before Eren can think, he starts chasing them and grabs their hands.

"D-don't. It's late. It's dangerous outside!"

"We will be back, Eren." Blythe tells him.

"But -"

" Eren ." Lia calls his name in a voice she never used before. A threat and a warning. "We will be back."

And just like every nightmare Eren had, the hands he was just holding start sliding off his grasp. He watches in dazed as they never look back to look at him. They close the door with a snap.

Eren is staring at the door when his sight starts to blur. He rubs his eyes aggressively.

"Stop crying. Stop crying." He murmurs angrily at himself. " Stop crying."

But the tears just keep flowing. Eren starts walking backwards until his back hits a wall.

His chest constricts. The floor starts moving, and he can't stop hearing their voices in his head.

We will be back.

We will be back.

We will be back .

He uses both of his hands to stop himself from making a noise as he starts sliding down the wall. He just keeps crying like a baby. He can't stop.

He starts hitting his head with his hand. They said they will be back.

They will be back. Right?

He finds himself tucking his knees on his chest as he hides his face with his hands.

He hates this world.

The world he was born into.

He hates it.

Chapter 28: We Are Back

Chapter Text

Hello! I am muhyumi, formerly known as Ryiason. I wrote this fiction years ago and it was well received. I think. This story, however, has been abandoned. But we are writing a new one now. Click here.

Thank you.

May God bless you!