WhIP

by footfungus

nederlands verhalen over mijn otp

104. Life is Strange 2 Sean and Daniel 13

Cub Condition

Svenne14

Summary:

Sean & Daniel are enjoying a beautiful day outside in the skatepark. One accident, however, would have effects far worse than the wolfbrothers could have ever imagined.

Notes:

Inspired by Memories by Svenne14

DISCLAIMER: We'll see how this fic turns out in the long run. I kinda have a beginning, and a middle, but no end. Also, I will use a lot of personal experiences in this fic, but that comes later. I will try to be as realistic as possible, meaning I will do my homework on various stuff, but in the end, remember that I'm no doctor.

Chapter 1: Just A Scratch

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Seattle — 2016…

"Ow- damn-it!" Daniel swore as he fell yet another time. The boy couldn't complain though. He did have a great time.

"You almost got it, Daniel. Try another time." Sean, his older brother, encouraged him. He made it look so easy. Daniel couldn't understand how he did it because this shit is anything but easy.

Skating.

Daniel saw his brother do it years ago, and even then it looked easy to him. He wanted to try it himself, so Daniel saved up enough money to buy himself a brand-new skateboard. Then, Sean took him to the skate park. To say that Daniel wasn't ready would be putting it mildly.

Hours upon hours of falling flat on his ass, scrubbing his knees, and swearing. So much swearing. Still, Daniel refused to give up. He's not leaving this place until he's jumped over that rail at least once.

"You got this, Enano. Remember… focus." Ok, focus. Daniel takes a moment while preparing himself for another attempt at the impossible.

"Ok, dude, come on, fucking focus!" Daniel tells himself before going down the ramp once again. He locks his eyes on the metal rail as he prepares to jump.

"Oh, shit-" Daniel whispered in disbelief as he jumped over the rail and landed unsteady, yet safely, on the other side.

"Sean?! You see that, Sean, I made it! I made it, Sean!" Daniel shouts in excitement while turning to his big brother. Meanwhile, Sean comes walking to him with a grin on his face.

"Nice job, Enano." Sean pats his little brother on the shoulder as a way to tell him that he did a good job. Then, the wolfbrothers went to the nearby ice cream stand to get some well-deserved ice cream. Sean got one for himself and one for Daniel. They both tasted horrible, but neither brother cared much, least of all Daniel. This had been an awesome day.

"Hey, Sean?" Daniel mumbles, slightly tired.

"Yeah?" Sean answers while paying more attention to his ice cream than his brother.

"Thanks for taking me here. It's been an awesome day." Daniel tries to hide his smile as Sean wraps an arm around him.

"It's ok, bro. I had a good time too. We can come back here some other time if you want to." Sean says as he looks at the time on his phone.

"Well, it's getting late, Daniel. You ready to get back home?" Neither of them knew it at the time, but they would both spend the rest of their lives wishing that Daniel would've answered "yes".

"Hang on, Sean. I just wanna try one last time…" The little cub did not wait for any approval from the older wolf. He ran to the top of the ramp while carrying his skateboard under his arm, and leaving his helmet behind. He stared at the rail in the distance, and then he began descending from the ramp.

Fast.

Way too fast.

Especially for a beginner.

This beginner, however, radiated overconfidence that caused him to ignore such things in the belief that he could handle them. Daniel reached the rail much faster than he previously did, something he wasn't prepared for.

He panicked as several things happened at once, leading to a catastrophic event that would change the life of Daniel Felipe Diaz forever.

Daniel's brain told him to get the fuck off the skateboard and move to safety. His heart told him to stay focused, keep a steady balance, and jump over the damn thing. Daniel's eyes were deadlocked with his brother's as the latter began to realize what was about to happen. Combine those things, and Daniel's body wouldn't do what he told it to. Each of his limbs had a will of its own. He jumped, and then, in mid-air, he lost his footing.

Daniel could see Sean's eyes widen with fear as he fell backward while still being in mid-air. A loud, clanking sound, echoed across the park as the small boy hit the back of his head against the rail.

Sean could see right from the start that something was wrong. He stood up as Daniel picked up speed, and then, Sean Diaz saw the second-worst sight in his entire life. It was, however, his worst at the time. He could see how Daniel's expression changed from one that said "Fuck yeah, I'm doing it, Sean! Watch me!" to something along the lines of "Oh, shit. Well, guess I'm hurting myself again."

Sean, however, would never be able to erase Daniel's final expression. The one he had when their eyes met. It told him more than words ever could. Still, Sean almost wished that they didn't.

"Help me, big brother. I'm scared, and I don't know what to do. Help me." But Sean couldn't help his brother. He just stood there and watched in horror as Daniel's head hit the rail with full force. For the next ten seconds, neither brother moved. With his fear completely paralyzing him, Sean felt helpless. Did he just watch his little brother die? Only when Daniel's legs start to move around does he snap back to the real world.

"DANIEL?!" Sean rushes to his brother's side, kneeling next to him, and puts a palm to the side of his head.

No blood.

That's good.

Right?

"Daniel, talk to me! Are- are you hurt?" Sean's made it his life's work to be strong for his little brother. He never cried in front of, or near Daniel, and he never spoke openly about how shitty he sometimes felt mentally. All of that would fall apart here. Tears poured down his face, but he didn't give a shit, nor did Sean care about the fear he so obviously showed.

How could he not?

"Daniel, please, talk to me!" Sean almost screams at his brother's face while begging him to wake up.

"Uh, what the hell, Sean? Stop- stop screaming, you asshole!" Daniel mutters at him while sounding a bit groggy. Sean's never been so happy to be called an asshole in his life. A twenty-ton boulder evaporates in his gut as he realizes that Daniel's going to be just fine.

"Sorry, Enano, sorry. I- I didn't mean to- you just scared me, it's all." Sean gives his brother a moment to recover before asking him the question he doesn't want the answer to.

"Are you hurt, Daniel?" Sean looks at him seriously. Daniel's still a bit out of it but seems to realize that this isn't a time to fool around. The younger Diaz brother moves around carefully on the ground, one limb at a time as Sean bites his tongue.

"No. No, I don't think so." Sean breathes out a sigh of relief. The kid's fine. Thank god.

"Good. No headaches or anything?" Daniel shakes his head in rapid succession. Feeling confident that this scare is over, Sean believes this to be a good time to get out of here.

"I think it's time we call it a night, Daniel. You good to walk home?" Sean stood up and offered Daniel his hand.

"Yeah. I think so, Sean. Let's go home." Daniel grabbed his brother's helping hand, using it to pull himself to his feet. Then, the wolfbrothers began heading for their home lair. Sean felt like shit. He screwed up on a massive scale today, and Daniel's the one paying for it. Still, that's not even the worst part. Sean keeps telling himself that Daniel's good to walk home and in no need to see a doctor. However, Sean also repeatedly tells himself that the decision to head home instead of to the hospital has nothing to do with the fact that he's afraid of how their father would react when learning about it. Sean could already see his painful and judgmental eyes.

"I am so disappointed in you, Sean." Esteban Diaz rarely if ever, got angry. Instead, he got disappointed. And that hurt so much more. It hurt more because Sean knew that every word spoken was the truth, and not the loud bullshit people randomly call each other while screaming at the top of their lungs.

He tried to convince himself it had nothing to do with that.

"Hey, Sean?" Daniel's voice drags Sean out from his shameful trail of thoughts. He turns around to notice how Daniel's far behind him.

"Hey, man, everything ok?" Sean understood immediately that the answer to that question was "no."

"My head hurts, Sean. It hurts really bad." Sean tries to hide the invisible punch he just received in the gut while kneeling to check on his brother.

"Fuck. What the fuck's going on with him?" Sean wonders while carefully checking Daniel's skull for… whateverthefuck. He's got no clue about what he's doing right now, and he knows it. Everything seems normal to him. When looking at his younger brother's eyes, however, things felt far from normal.

The boy appeared confused, lost, and scared. Almost as if he's not quite "there." Sean's starting to get a bit nervous, but he believes that Daniel needs to rest. Therefore, they must get home as soon as possible.

"Daniel, I need you to trust me, ok? Grab my hand, and we'll be home in a few minutes, Enano." The wolfbrothers situation goes from bad to worse as Sean watches his little brother try to grab hold of his hand.

Try… and fail.

Try… and fail.

Over and over again. Sean realized that whatever happened when Daniel hit his head is far worse than he imagined.

"Daniel, look at me. I said, look at me!" And if Sean thought that his little brother looked confused before…

"Who- who are you?" Those eyes told the story. Daniel's terrified of this stranger, screaming at his face. And this stranger's heartbroken that Daniel can't remember his own big brother. Sean took a deep breath while forcing back his tears. Now is not the time for crying. Now is the time for action!

"I have to get you to the hospital, ok? Come with me." The hospital isn't too far. Hell, it's even closer than their home, so walking there would be much faster than calling an ambulance.

However…

"Hey… wait." Daniel slurred to him. Sean didn't want to stop, but still, for reasons he cannot explain, he did so anyway.

"What's wrong, man?" Sean looked at his brother, immediately wishing that this day never happened. Daniel's pale as a ghost, and he's hyperventilating.

"I- I den't- don't… good." What? Sean felt a chill at the top of his neck, making its way down throughout his entire spine. His brother couldn't speak real words now? What the fuck is going on?!

"Daniel… we have to go." Sean almost whimpers as a plea to Daniel to make the first move.

"Nu-uh… I dun- I wanna… I'm god, Sean… just god…" Daniel takes a few steps forward before losing his balance completely, and falling on the grass.

"Shit! Daniel, are you hurt?" Sean pulls his younger brother to his feet. He could see Daniel's mouth open as if he were about to respond, but vomit replaced the words. Sean watched in horror as he got an impulse, telling him what to do.

"Pick Daniel up, and run to the hospital." Don't think, just do it. The only problem is, that Sean can't do it. He's paralyzed by his own fear. After the small eternity his brother spent vomiting, Sean finally felt ready to check on him again.

"Daniel, come on, we have to go, Enano." His younger brother turns to face him. This is where Sean Diaz would witness the most horrifying event in his entire life.

Daniel stood there with a blank expression and a pale-white face. His entire body trembled, he hyperventilated, and his clothes are covered in vomit. Sean, however, only saw one thing.

"Daniel… your nose?" Sean raised his finger to point at the steady stream of blood, pouring out of his little brother's nose at an alarmingly fast rate. Slowly, Daniel raised his left hand to touch his nose.

"Oh…" Daniel, the boy that almost passed out after witnessing the bloodbath that was Sean slicing an onion, barely reacted to having his hand, colored red by blood. At the corner of his eyes, however, Sean could see how Daniel's right arm began to twitch in a strange way.

"Hey, Sean? Why can't I feel my right arm? It's weird. I don't think it's-" Sean saw it happen in slow-motion. He saw Daniel's dark-brown puppy-eyes roll into the back of his head, making Daniel look like the little brother from your nightmares. Sean saw, and he could swear that he almost heard it too, every single muscle in that small body as it tensed itself to the very limit and beyond. Then, Sean witnessed his little brother collapse on the ground.

The life of the wolfbrothers would never be the same again.

Notes:

End of chapter one. This is more like a "Prologue" chapter. In the next chapter, things will start happening for real.

For Daniel's side effects (nausea, confusion, etc.) I read up a bit, so I have something in mind. More on that in the next chapter. For now, that small piece of information will have to do.

Enjoy (I hope)!

K. S.

Ten seconds.
You looked away.

Ten seconds.
You did not care for him.

Ten seconds.
Was all that was needed.

Ten seconds.
You can never forgive yourself.

Ten seconds.
Followed by a lifetime.

Chapter 2: Trauma

Summary:

Sean's stuck at the hospital awaiting the arrival of either his father or the grim reaper. He's not quite sure which one he fears the most...

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Seattle's Children's Hospital — Approximately 75 minutes later…

Sean never called an ambulance, nor does he have the slightest clue of who did. He felt so useless. All he did was stand there and watch as his brother had a seizure. He's never been more afraid in his life. Sean didn't think about what his father would say to him, he didn't even think about the possible punishment he might receive for it. All he thought about was the fact that his little brother was probably dying right in front of him.

How long did it take for the ambulance to show up?

Two minutes?

Two hours?

It could be anything, Sean's got no anchor to the real world at the moment. Daniel's seizure, however, had ended by the time the ambulance arrived, and he just lay there motionless. Sean can't even remember getting into the ambulance. Hell, he barely remembered getting out of it.

He does, however, remember Daniel.

The ghost-like face, his very-low pulse, and one paramedic giving the driver a look, indicating that they had to hurry up. Upon exiting the ambulance, Daniel was rushed away on a stretcher. Sean, however, wasn't allowed to follow him. Instead, they put him here. In the godforsaken place called the "hospital church."

Sean looks at the old grandfather clock on the wall. He's been sitting on the floor in this corner for five hours and sixteen minutes now. The reason he knows that is because his only company in here is that god-damn clock.

Tick… tock.

Tick… tock.

The sound drives him insane, and yet, somehow it feels like the only thing that keeps him from losing his mind completely. He fucked up. So badly. It's all his fault. He should have kept an eye on him, but he didn't. Whatever happens from here, it's on him.

"Sean?" A familiar voice. A voice he needs to hear while also desperately wanting to avoid it forever. The voice of his father, Esteban Diaz. Sean slowly stood up, not even bothering to wipe his face from tears.

"Dad! I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, I fucked up, papito." Sean walks to his father while spreading his arms to hug him. Usually, Sean tends to avoid it, but now, he really needs that fatherly comfort.

Esteban, however, was in no mood.

"Sean! What the FUCK happened?! I never ask much of you, son, but I do ask one thing in life. Just one. Look after your brother. What the FUCK… did you do, Sean?!" Esteban grabbed Sean by the collar and pushed him up against the wall.

This was a side of his father that Sean's never heard of, not to mention seen. He prepared himself for his father to hug him, and tell him how it wasn't his fault. Instead, Sean finds himself pushed up against the wall with his dad screaming at his face.

This time, he truly fucked up.

It scared him. For his father to react that way, things must be very serious. Over the years Sean's gotten in fights, broken windows, shoplifted, and a few other things that may or may not be legal. His father wasn't always pleased with it, but he never even raised his voice to Sean. He's got no idea of how to react.

He cries. Like a small child that just saw his Christmas gifts go up in flames. Meanwhile, Esteban releases Sean from his iron grip and sits down on a chair.

"I'm sorry, Sean. I didn't mean to do that, son. It's just-" His father paused for a very long moment that felt anything but calm.

"I'm scared, Sean." The words made Sean's eyes widen in horror. The day a child hears his parent express fear is the day a child must stop being a child. Is this that day for Sean Eduardo Diaz?

"I'm scared too, dad… it's all my fault." Sean sat down next to his father. Esteban put his arm around his eldest son in a poor attempt at comfort. He didn't speak though. No promises that everything would be alright, and no reassurance that it wasn't Sean's fault.

Two-thirds of the Diaz family sat in silence for hours until finally…

"Excuse me, Mr. Diaz?" A nurse entered the room and immediately caught the attention of them both.

"Please, sir, follow me." Esteban got up to follow her with Sean doing the same.

"Actually, we'd like to speak with just the father." Yeah… good luck with that bitch… seriously.

"It's his older brother. He was there, and he saw what happened. Plus, I want him to be there, and I know that Daniel would too." How his father managed to remain diplomatic is something that Sean would never understand.

"Look, sir, I really believe that-" Ok, fuck off!

"He's my brother! I'm going." Sean raised his voice. Loud, but not too loud while giving the nurse a glare that would kill most people.

"Ok, sir. Follow me." Well, fuck you too.

The nurse leads them to a room. Inside it, a doctor awaits them. They both sat down while holding their breaths. The doctor introduces himself, and Sean doesn't care. He shows a few x-rays that nobody understood but him. This shit's driving Sean mad. He wants to know one thing and one thing only.

"For fuck's sake, is my brother going to be ok?!" Sean screams out in despair, begging the doctor to just spare him the details and fucking tell him already. The man in white sighed deeply.

"Mr. Diaz, and uhm… Mr. Diaz." He looks at Esteban and then Sean.

"Daniel's conscious and feels good-" That's all he wanted to hear.

"OH, THANK GOD!" Sean and his father breathed out almost simultaneously as they felt relieved knowing that their third member was fine. In a few weeks, all of this would be remembered as one of those "crazy stories."

"But…" The doctor raised his voice with concern. Sean felt sick. Whatever he's about to hear, it can't be good. He looks at the door, considering walking out of here. Maybe if he does it, and spares himself the truth, he'll spare Daniel as well?

Or something…

Sean realized that he had nowhere to run, and nowhere to hide. He listened closely to the doctor as he explained the details of Daniel's condition. Well, he tried. After the first sentence, it got too painful.

"Daniel suffered a brain aneurysm caused by severe head trauma. It's a miracle the boy's still alive considering how late he was brought in here." Sean zoned out after hearing those words. It's officially confirmed then. He's the worst brother in the world. He gave his little brother a fucking aneurysm.

The following hour or so, Sean only picked up on a word here and a word there. Few if any of them are good.

"Life-long effects."

"Seizures."

"Cognitive difficulties."

And much more. So much more. What the fuck happened with this day?

"Can I see him?" A barely audible whisper that Sean was not even aware of came from his mouth.

"Of course, sir. Follow me." The bitch-nurse from earlier escorts Sean while Esteban remains seated with the doctor. The nurse comes to a halt in front of a white door.

"11" Well, it sure as hell ain't the bear's lair.

"Remember, sir, that your brother has suffered severe trauma to his brain. He needs to rest." Yeah, rest. Sean thought the same thing, and look how that turned out, huh?

"Ok, I get it," Sean mumbles as the nurse leaves him alone. He grabs the doorknob but feels terrified of opening it. He's not sure what lies beyond. A brother with tubes down his throat, and a beeping life-support system? A rotting corpse?

Fuck it, here goes nothing.

Sean opens the door, steps inside, and on the other side was…

Daniel.

Just Daniel. Regular, sweet, adorable, Enano. A bit tired, perhaps, but yeah, it's Daniel.

"Hey, Sean." Daniel sounds so tired, but the kid still smiles at him.

"Daniel." Sean couldn't say more before bursting into tears. He sat down on a chair next to the bed and grabbed Daniel's hand.

"I'm so glad you're ok, Enano." Had Sean paid attention, the confusion on Daniel's face would have been visible to most people. He's never seen Sean cry before in his life.

"It's ok, Sean. I'm not in any pain, you know?" Daniel tries to reassure his older brother.

"Good, Enano, good. I'm so glad you're fine. Everything's fine, Daniel, just fine." Sean's not sure who he's trying to convince the most. Himself or Daniel?

Either way, it worked.

Sean didn't see the way his little brother's head was wrapped in bandages. That's probably for the best as well because underneath the bandages a large scar could be seen. A scar created, not by physical trauma, but by the scalpel of a surgeon in desperate need to save the child's life. Daniel's life may have been saved, however, that doesn't mean that he'll be fine.

Three days later…

After three days at the hospital, the day finally arrived. Daniel could now come home. Sean too. His father had tried to talk him into coming home on that first night, but bud Sean refused. He never left his little brother's side. Not for one second. The least he could do for him after almost killing him is to keep him company.

Three days and three nights. No clean clothes, not even a fucking shower, no nothing. A gross sacrifice, but one he'll gladly make again if he had to. Now, here they are, outside their home. Little did Daniel know that both Sean and his father held their breaths.

Why?

Well, according to the doctor, a child's mind wouldn't be able to fully comprehend what this condition would mean to him or her. Especially since few adults could. So they kept the details from Daniel. He believed that he suffered a rough concussion, passed out, and that's it.

But no, that's not it.

That's far from it.

Daniel suffered mild brain damage as well, some of which won't be visible immediately. The doctor told Sean and Esteban to let Daniel enter the house first while keeping an eye on his behavior, and be on the lookout for anything that feels off. Sean nods to his father as they watch the youngest family member enter the house.

Daniel stepped inside the house. Immediately, he felt overwhelmed. Everything he saw, heard and smelled. It felt so familiar, it felt like home, and he knew that it was home. Still, it all felt so strange. Not like he's never been here before. More along the lines of having been here in a previous life. The young boy makes a left down a hallway, only to come to a dead halt.

Three closed doors. One in front of him, one to his right, and one to his left.

The door in front of him is labeled "WC" plus he already knew it to be a bathroom. Why does he find that both weird and not weird at the same time?

The door to his left has a paper with a poorly made drawing, and the text "Bear's lair."

The door to his right has nothing on it whatsoever.

Daniel knows that the door to the left is his room. He also knows that the door on the right leads to Sean's room. Daniel opens the door to his own room and steps inside. It looks different. Not as much color as he remembered. Daniel closes the door and lies down on the bed with a sigh.

"Hey, Daniel?" Sean's soft voice could be heard as he knocked on the door.

"Yeah, come in," Daniel mumbled. He felt weird, uneasy, and just… not like himself. He didn't like it.

"Hey, buddy." Sean steps inside and sits down at the bedside.

"How are you feeling, Daniel? Good to be home?" Daniel turned to his side with his back against the wall, and his face to Sean.

"I… don't know, Sean." Daniel sounded confused, perhaps even afraid. He had no idea what was happening to him and why.

"Daniel, do you know where we are right now?" Sean asked him with a serious tone.

"We're at home, Sean. In our house in Seattle. I'm concussed, Sean, not stupid. Dickhead." Daniel muttered while Sean forced back his tears. The fact that Daniel had yet to realize it made it so much worse.

"I mean where in our home, Daniel?" Sean pushes his brother for a more specific answer. Daniel stares at him in that way he only can when he feels incredibly hurt.

"I'm in my room, Sean. MY ROOM! And I want you to get out now." Daniel screamed at his older brother through tears. Sean sighed in pain. This would not be easy.

"Enano… take a look around." At first, Daniel had no intention to do what Sean wanted him to. The look in his brother's eyes, however, told him that Sean was worried or even afraid. Deciding to take a look around, Daniel sat up in his bed.

Only to realize that it wasn't his bed.

It wasn't even his fucking room.

It's Sean's room, Sean's bed, and Sean's fucking laptop filled to the brim with porn.

But he wanted to walk into the bear's lair. Still, he ended up at the exact opposite end of it. This is a mindfuck that reaches further than the mind of a nine-year-old boy could ever understand.

"But- no. Sean, I- I didn't mean to- please, you have to believe me…" Daniel rambles nonsense while he awaits the screaming that usually follows any time he sneaks into Sean's room.

"Come here, Enano, come here. It's ok, it's ok. I believe you. I'm not angry, alright?" Sean wraps his arms around his brother, letting him cry on his shoulder.

"I'm not going to be fine, Sean, aren't I?" Shit. Daniel's a smart kid, but Sean had hoped it would take him longer to realize it. Hell, he realized it before Sean did, probably. Since that's the case, it's pointless to lie. Sean placed his hands on Daniel's shoulders and looked into those puppy eyes. He hated this.

"No, Enano, you won't." That night, the little cub slept next to his older brother. At least he tried to. Neither wolf got much sleep that night. Be it papa, brother, or cub. No sleep and no safety. The little cub knew the truth now. He knew that he would never be able to trust himself again since him walking into the wrong room is just the beginning. He cannot trust his brain to have the right answer or to order the body to perform the correct actions.

The little cub was afraid. So very, very afraid. He stared at the familiar-yet-somehow-unfamiliar ceiling, wondering not when, not if, but how this will impact his life. He knows it will, and the mere thought of it scares the boy. Daniel carefully lifted Sean's arm, placing it on his shoulder. This used to make him feel so safe like he could take on the world and all beyond it. Now?

All he could do was cry.

Notes:

Ok, two chapters in one day. Things are happening. We got a brief explanation of Daniel's condition, although more will come at a later point.

I did some Googling and it turns out that a brain aneurysm can be caused by head trauma which is the sole reason they went to the skate park in the first place. It exists as a way for Daniel to get injured while having a way for both brothers to be guilty of what happened.

I got no clue how long time it takes for the symptoms Daniel had to occur though, but I am doing my best to keep it somewhat realistic.

Just a few references:
The start of this chapter takes place "about 75 minutes later" is a dark nod to the 75 epileptic seizures I once had during an 18-month timespan. More on that in my work "Memories".

Daniel's hospital room is labeled with the number "11" which is a nod to "Eleven" in Stranger Things and her having similar powers to Daniel. This Daniel, however, won't be having any powers.

Please leave a comment below.

Enjoy!

K. S.

The brain.
It makes you function.
You make it function.
None can function without the other.

You lift your left foot.
The brain lifts the right foot.

You wish to say something.
The brain forces you to repeat another.

You want to understand.
Your brain won't allow you.

The one thing you cannot fight against.
Now fight against you.

It is a losing battle.
With endless rounds.

And this.
This was just the warm-up.

Chapter 3: Complicated Complications

Summary:

In the aftermath of the incident, Sean begins to realize that his brother may never be the same again.

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

A few weeks later…

Less than a month has passed since the incident. Some days were good, and others were not. One thing was very clear though. Daniel Felipe Diaz left his home to go to the skate park with his brother.

He was never the same after that.

Daniel's alive, and Sean's glad for that much. By the look of things, he's out of the danger zone for now. Still, he's far from fine. Sean tried, he tried so hard to convince them both that Daniel would be fine, and the worst part is that he actually did it. Unfortunately, that didn't change anything.

Complications from the aneurysm were many, dire, and increasing every day it seemed.

On a good day, Daniel would be able to slowly move around the house by himself, not having to lean on Sean for support. He would watch a movie while actually understanding the words, instead of crying when realizing he cannot understand his favorite movies any longer. Sometimes, he would even sit in the backyard, enjoying the nice weather. Sean's grateful that the good days are more in number than the bad.

Why?

Well, the bad days, few as they might be, are very bad.

Daniel would have headaches, so awful that he screamed. He rarely if ever got out of bed, and wanted nobody to talk to him. Those days were the absolute worst. Sean felt like his little brother had lost the will to live. The first thing he did every morning was check in on Daniel, hoping that today would be a good day. Sean and Lyla took turns watching Daniel. He didn't go to school anymore. Hopefully, he'll return there someday. Until then, however, he can't be left alone.

Sean stays at home with him one day, Lyla the next. Rinse and repeat. On the bad days, however, it's always Sean. He felt like his entire life had been turned upside-down, only to be blown to shits afterward. But he can't be selfish right now. If he feels this bad, how the hell does his brother feel?

Shit…

"Look, Sean, I'm doing it, I'm doing it!" The image of Daniel on a skateboard, flying through the air. The boy's face shines with pride and accomplishment.

"Help me, Sean!" It quickly changed, however, to fear. A sound echoed as bones hit steel, and-

"Shit!" Sean woke up to the sound of his alarm clock. The same nightmare again. Just like last night. It never ends. Sean drags a palm across his face to remove the sweat. Time to get up.

After a quick shower, Sean exits the bathroom and gets dressed. He tries to avoid looking at himself in the mirror. The dark bags under his eyes tell the story of a young man that hasn't slept in almost a month. He tries to ignore it. Then, Sean goes to his brother's room.

The door to Daniel's room isn't white anymore. Esteban painted it blue. Daniel said that he liked the color blue, and it might help him remember which room is his. Brain injury or not, Daniel's idea actually worked. Still, it hurt Sean so much to see that his brother struggled with even the most basic things in life. Sean knocks on the blue door before stepping inside. Close to his right sits Daniel. He's learning how to draw. He always wanted to "draw like Sean."

"Good morning, Enano. What's up?" Sean held his breath as he awaited the answer. He feared that the bad days would increase, and the good days decrease. More likely than not, everyone feared that would happen. Most of all, Daniel.

"Hey, Sean. I'm good, I think. Just a little headache, nothing too bad." Daniel managed a smile, but still scratched his head as if the headache was a bit more than he wanted to let on. Still, Sean sighed in relief.

"That's good, Enano. I'm proud of you. You know that, right? For being who you are. For being a fighter, Daniel. Don't let this keep you down, little brother." Sean could easily reach Daniel on a good day and talk to him. Even if Daniel didn't talk much himself. Sean only wished that he could reach his brother on the bad days as well. Hell, he'll be glad if he could reach him half as much.

"Thanks, Sean. Don't worry about me. I won't let this beat me. When I get better, we can go back to the park again, right?" Fuck. A lot of things Sean could handle. Random fits of anger, hours of crying, slurred speech, and countless other complications. Hell, Sean could even handle the seizures, horrible as they are. One thing, however, he could not deal with.

Denial.

Apparently, it's a common thing among children who suffered severe brain trauma. They cannot fully comprehend the extent of their injuries, therefore deciding that they don't have any. Plain and simple. On a good day, Daniel always spoke about going back to the skate park as soon as he got healthy again. And every time, Sean made something that made him feel like the worst brother in the world.

He took advantage of the fact that Daniel's now easily confused, and he changed the subject completely. Today would be no exception to that rule.

"Wow, what's that you're drawing there, man?" Sean sits on the chair next to his brother while wrapping an arm around him. Sean didn't look much at the drawing before speaking since he just wanted to switch topics. Now, however, he looked at it. And he wished that he didn't ask the very question he just did.

"Nothing. It's just this person. A person I'd like to meet one day." His little brother began drawing for more reasons than one. To kill time, to keep himself sane, to impress Sean, to be better than Sean, but also to avoid his motor skills from declining.

Well, they sure as hell hasn't declined. Not only that but Daniel's gotten good at drawing. Like, really good. He's still miles away from Sean, but he could still see who the person on this drawing was. Still, for the sake of being a good brother, he had to ask.

"Who is it, Daniel?" Sean asked the question he already knew the answer to. He grits his teeth while forcing himself to not react the same way he always does when he hears the name.

"It's our mother, Sean. It's Karen. I know you hate her, but I really want to meet her. Just one time, Sean, I want to-" Daniel paused for a few seconds as his voice broke. Sean gave him the time he needed. Whenever something felt hard, Daniel had a difficult time finding the right words. Hell, that applied before this mess. Now, the boy struggles to find his way back to the right path at times.

"Just one time in my life, Sean, I want a hug from my mommy. I never had that." Sean pushes back the anger he feels as Daniel mentions their mother. She left them, and she's not a part of this family anymore. She hurt Sean so much that he can't even stand hearing her name.

Karen.

Sean's hurt in one way. The older child of the two had grown up with his mother present in life. Daniel, however, has no memory of his mother. She abandoned the family without a word when he was only a year old. Nobody knows this except for Daniel himself, but he always blamed himself for that happening. Perhaps something was wrong with him? Still, it didn't stop him from wanting his mother to come back.

How could Sean respond to that?

Every fiber of his being wants to scream that the traitor has no right to return to this house. It's the one answer Sean knows because it's what he says every single time she's brought up. Now, however, he can't scream, nor can he call the traitor a traitor. Doing so might break what little spirit Daniel's got left. Sean digs down deep, searching his mind for something he swore to leave behind years ago.

"I know, Enano. I do too." Sean whispered with a trembling voice as a lone tear made its way down the side of his face.

"Do you think she'll ever come back, Sean?" Fuck.

Sean's not interested in having her back. Too much pain, and too much anger. Karen the traitor isn't welcome here, into the life of Sean Diaz.

Then, on the other hand, Sean searched. He searched and he found. He found all the positive emotions and memories related to his mother. Camping trips, birthdays, Christmas Eve, and how she learned him to sketch. Deep down, Sean desperately wants his mother to return. Not next week, not tomorrow, not after lunch, but now. Right here, and right now. But he's been here before. More times than he cared to remember. He knows that won't happen. The question is…

How much does Daniel know? How much does he understand? It would be so easy for Sean to use his brother's condition to his advantage yet again. But he can't keep going down that road.

"I don't know, Daniel. I doubt it." Sean sighed as he watched his younger brother.

"Oh. Then, maybe we could go to her when I get better?" God, Sean's got no idea how to handle this shit. How could he tell him that he's not getting better, ever?

"Sure thing, Enano." Sean looks out the window, noticing the sun's up.

"Hey, Daniel, it's nice weather today. How about you go out on the porch, relax a little, and I'll fix us some breakfast?" Sometimes Daniel could eat, and sometimes he refused. Daniel didn't like how he felt.

How they made him feel.

To be honest, Sean couldn't blame him. Now, what exactly is it that Daniel's not too fond of?

Medications. That's medications as in plural.

Daniel had to take several medications on a daily basis to somewhat function as a human being. He quickly learned that he hated it more than anything else on the planet. Still, for a week or so, every morning was the same.

Daniel got out of bed, ate breakfast, and then he had half a pharmacy of pills to finish off.

The yellow pill. Anti-depressants. One of these every morning supposedly keeps Daniel in a better mood. Few would agree with that statement. Least of all Daniel himself. Also, they may or may not cause seizures and or suicidal thoughts which to Sean makes no sense whatsoever.

The red pill. Five each morning against seizures. This is probably the most critical one. Sean fears the day he may have to watch his little brother spasm on the ground again. He still has nightmares about it. This one may also cause seizures and or suicidal thoughts because fuck you, that's why.

The green pill. The scary one. Also, the only one with a name Sean recognized. One of these per day. Just one. For the pain. Sometimes, when the pain is unbearable, Daniel's allowed to take up to three if necessary. That, however, pretty much zombifies him. It doesn't cause seizures or suicidal thoughts, but it does have something far worse on the list. Addiction.

His little brother's on a daily cocktail of drugs. Legal prescription drugs. He's only nine years old for fuck's sake. Daniel felt sick due to the many side effects it gave him.

He told Sean that nothing felt real anymore and that everything felt and sounded so strange. Sean didn't understand what he meant, but he did know that it wasn't good.

Daniel would get random nosebleeds that lasted up to an hour every time. Sean felt like he was taken back in time to that day when it happened. It never got any easier.

His little brother threw up and felt dizzy, angry, and upset. Sometimes, Sean felt uncertain about how much of this was caused by his condition, and how much was caused by his medication. Daniel didn't want to take it, so Sean's left no choice but to trick him. A part of Daniel knows this, yet, he struggles to understand it which is why he hesitates to answer Sean's question. Still, he does feel kinda hungry…

"Yeah, I'd like that Sean." Daniel smiles as Sean stood up to get the door for him. Slowly, the boy stood up on wobbly legs.

"Daniel, don't you think you should… you know?" Sean tries to ease into it, but Daniel's still in denial about his condition.

"No, Sean. I can do it." Sean pointed at the pair of crutches in the corner that Daniel refused to use. He still believed he could do the things he used to. He still believed that this was just something you recover from. Like a random cold or something.

"Ok, Enano. Come on, I got you." Daniel never said it out loud, but he would allow Sean to help him… sometimes. Not dad, not Lyla, just Sean.

Sean walks Daniel outside while the younger holds his arm for support the entire time. Daniel sits down in a chair while Sean leans it backward.

"You doing ok, buddy?" Sean asked his brother. By the look of things, Daniel appeared to be very comfortable. Sean could admit it himself though. These chairs? They're so fucking awesome.

"It feels nice, Sean. It's just- so bright." Daniel almost looks afraid for a second before quickly changing his expression back to a more comfortable one. It's not that bright outside, isn't it? Oh, well…

"Right, give me a sec…" Sean goes inside, only to return moments later with something dark in his hand.

"Hold still, bro…" Daniel does as he's told while Sean puts a pair of sunglasses on him.

"And there. Now, you're both cool and comfortable, Enano." To be fair, the dark-blue Hawt Dawg Man pajamas combined with the black sunglasses did make him look kinda badass.

"Thanks, Sean. You're the best brother, you know that, right?" Daniel gives him the most innocent smile a child could ever produce. It breaks Sean from the inside.

"I'll be right back with some breakfast…" He wished that he could believe what Daniel told him. He really did. But Sean knows that even if Daniel meant every one of those words, it still doesn't make them true. Unfortunately for Sean, actions speak louder than words. And Sean's actions, or lack of them to be precise, are what made his brother into this.

He tries to distract himself from those thoughts by making Daniel's "special breakfast".

One glass of orange juice. Perfect to mix the yellow pill into. It feels horrible, but he's got no choice.

Two sandwiches with peanut butter and jelly. Add a shitload of jelly, and Daniel won't see those five red pills. Shit. What the fuck happened with their lives?

The painkiller? Daniel's not in any major pain today. Sean's not drugging his little brother unless he absolutely has to. Fuck what the doctors say.

Sean puts everything on a tray along with a cup of coffee for himself and goes back outside. He sets the tray down on a table next to Daniel while sitting down on a chair between the two. Then, he looks over at his brother.

Sean had to bite down hard to not cry on the spot.

He watched as Daniel took the glass of orange juice along with a straw, only to lay back down while drinking it. He looked and acted just like any normal nine-year-old boy. The sunglasses covered most of his face, hiding the bags under his eyes. His hair has grown out again, hiding the scar from the surgery. From here, nobody would guess that this child has days when he struggles to remember even the most basic things about himself and those around him.

"Hey, Sean?" Daniel's calm voice called for him. Sean lay down on his back in the chair while staring up at the blue sky.

"I'm here, Daniel." Sean could hear the tone in Daniel's voice shifting. It rarely happened, but when it did, it was the moments that Sean lived for. These are the greatest moments that only happen on the best days out of the very best. In these moments, Daniel has a very strong clarity about himself. He knows what he can do, and what he can't do. More importantly, he knows why. These moments last for anything from minutes to hours. During that time, his little brother's back.

This is one of those moments. One of those days. One of the best of the very best days.

"I miss this, Sean," Daniel whispers to his older brother while taking another sip.

"You miss what, Daniel?" Sean wondered curiously.

"This." Daniel points at himself, then at Sean, and back at himself again.

"The two of us just hanging out together, you know? Like brothers." Yeah, Sean missed that too.

"I don't know what will happen to me, Sean. But, I want you to know that I don't blame you for what happened. You're my brother, and I love you, Sean." The older Diaz brother felt the tears about to break through the dam. Still, he refused to let them.

"I know you do. And no matter what happens, Daniel, I never blamed you for anything. I love you too, Enano." The wolfbrothers enjoyed a moment of calm in the morning sun while exchanging some brotherly words with each other. It's a good thing that this moment of calm came today of all days.

Why?

Well, today was a good day.

There will, however, be a tomorrow…

Notes:

Ok, so this chapter explains a little about Daniel's current state. There are good days and bad days. This chapter was a good day. Next time? Well, that's a story for another day, pun very much intended.

Sean's traumatized and wracked with guilt while Daniel's mostly in a state of denial as he's slowly falling apart from the inside... or is he?

The part about Daniel learning how to draw has more than a few deeper purposes down the line. For now, that is all I shall say about that.

Daniel being in denial about his condition is something I've seen in people with Huntington's Disease, although it might as well be a coincidence. Still, that's where I got the idea from. He believes at times that he will be back to his normal self again.

The side effects from Daniel's medications are only a few of those that I've experienced over the years. Nobody ever slipped any pills into my food though. Well, as far as I know.

The brothers got a nice little moment to end the chapter. Considering the next one, they're going to need it.

Leave a comment below if you want.

Enjoy!

K. S.

This is a good day.

You have faith.
Hope.
Dreams.
In yourself.

You want to go outside.
Run.
Swim.
Play.
Hell, perhaps even fight?
Just for the thrill.

But...
You can't.
Something is holding you back.
Someone is holding you back.

Your body is failing you.
Your brain is rotting.
But your spirit?
Stronger than ever.
Perhaps too strong?

Denial.
It is in you.
You are in it.

Daniel.
Denial.

Denial.
Daniel.

One and the same.

Chapter 4: Devious Desynchronizations

Summary:

Yesterday was a good day. Thing is, where there's something good, there's always something bad...

Notes:

Credit to Supyovalk for the chapter name.

MILESTONE: Somewhere in this chapter lies word number 500 000 in total! That's half a million!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

The next morning…

Sean had a good night's sleep for once. No nightmares and he didn't wake up until lunchtime. It felt so great. Like he finally managed to catch up on all the hours of sleep that he's lost over the last few weeks. Today, Lyla would come over to watch Daniel, meaning Sean would get some well-deserved alone time.

Perhaps he should go and see a movie?

"Nah, I only do that with Lyla." Sean mumbles in a state of primarily asleep. A vibrating sound caught his attention, however, as he turns to the bedside table.

A text message from Lyla.

"Hey, Sean. How's my favorite Diaz today? Is he up? I'm on my way over now, just gonna steal some Chock-O-Crisp from home first." Sean couldn't help but smile. Lyla tried so hard, she really did. To her, Daniel was like the little brother she never had. The less said about Daniel's crush on her the better then…

Still, this had taken a massive toll on her as well. But, Lyla being Lyla, she refused to show any sign of weakness. At least in front of Daniel. Behind closed doors with Sean, however, things were different. Sean always considered Lyla to be the stronger one while he saw himself as the emotional wreck that he is. Now, however, the tables had turned. No longer could Lyla offer him support or cheer him up after a difficult day. Instead, Sean tries his best to comfort Lyla as she cries on his shoulders after spending an entire day watching Daniel wither away.

She never gave up hope though. They couldn't. It's all they have, and it's all Daniel has. Sean begins to write a reply to Lyla before stopping in the middle of a sentence.

Their father's working, meaning Sean's responsible for watching over his little brother.

Every single day since the incident, Daniel's been up and awake several hours before Sean.

Today, Sean slept about three hours more than he usually does.

Three hours without Daniel waking him up. It's unheard of, it's peaceful, and it's great.

Too great, perhaps?

Sean got a bad feeling in his gut as he got out of his bed instantly and got dressed.

The very second he left the room, Sean knew that something was wrong. Daniel's nowhere to be seen, and the door to his room is still closed. He can't still be asleep, right? Sure, the medications make him a bit tired, but still.

"Daniel, you in here?" Sean knocks on the door carefully, not wanting to intrude if Daniel's fine. Sean, however, receives no answer.

"Daniel, are you ok?!" Sean raised his voice, receiving more silence in return. He puts his ear against the door and tries to listen.

"Alone… leave… alone." Sean closed his eyes and sighed in pain as he heard those slurred words. He knew what this meant. He returns to his room, grabs his phone, erases the unsent text to Lyla, and starts over. He sends her two words. Two simple words that had the most horrifying implications for them both.

"Bad day." After sending the text, Sean returns to his brother's room.

"Ok, dude. This day's gonna suck. Just remember… don't take it personally, and it's not his fault." Sean tells himself before knocking and entering.

His little brother's laying in his bed. To some, this wouldn't be anywhere near strange. Sean, however, saw the signs from a mile away. How his small body had crawled into a ball under the covers, how Daniel's shivering when it's a hundred degrees in here. Sean could hear the boy hyperventilating as he sat at the bedside.

His brother did not acknowledge his presence.

"Daniel?" Be strong, Sean. Just… be strong. For him.

"Hurts." On his bad days, Daniel's vocabulary got much worse. Therefore, he preferred short and simple answers.

"You're in pain, Daniel? Where?" Daniel's not moving to look at his big brother. Sean's uncertain if that's because of the pain or something else.

"All." Shit. Does his entire body hurt?

"Don't be afraid, Enano, I'm here. Sean's here, ok? I'm your brother-" Sean stopped in the middle of a sentence. He carefully grabbed Daniel's hand, only to discover how his arms and hands were tensed up. His hands looked like he was holding onto an invisible baseball, and his fingers trembled due to the intensity.

"Sean… he- help. Help me." Daniel begged Sean for help, and he had no fucking clue about what to do here.

"I'm here, Daniel, and I'm gonna help you through this, ok? Just breathe, Enano… breathe." Sean tried his best to calm his brother down. Daniel's eyebrow twitching subtly was more than Sean needed to prepare himself for what was about to come.

His plan did not work.

Sometimes, he managed to keep Daniel on planet earth even on the bad days. This, however, was not one of those times.

"I said…" Daniel rolls on his back while somehow ignoring the incredible pain he's in. Sean could hear how deep of a breath his younger brother took.

"HEEELP ME, HELP ME, FUCKING HEEELP MEEE!" He wants to help. More than anything in the world, Sean wants to help. But how? This? This is far beyond what he can handle. Daniel screaming like that only makes things worse. So much worse. Sean feels so useless.

"Don't be afraid, Daniel, I'm gonna give you something for the pain-" Sean froze on the spot.

Shit.

Shit, fuck, damn-it-to-hell, son of a bitch, and shit again!

Daniel's medication. He should have taken it hours ago. Since Daniel didn't wake Sean up this morning, this was destined to be a bad day no matter what, but it went from bad to worse due to Sean sleeping in as well. Great job acting responsibly again. No anti-depressants, nothing against seizures, and no painkillers. Fuck. The number of catastrophic scenarios that go through Sean's mind is too many to comprehend.

Sean's just staring blankly into the abyss, completely oblivious to his brother's screaming. Now, Daniel might be too weak to get out of bed and slap some sense into his older brother. They know that to be a fact because the boy has tried before. He can, however, pick something up and throw it toward his brother. Daniel's visual perception, however, isn't what it used to be.

Meaning that Sean's hit on the throat by a large book.

"Ow, Daniel, what the fu-" Sean stops himself quickly. Not that it mattered much though.

"Do something you fat fuck! Help me or kill me, help me or kill me, help me or kill me!" Sean leaves the room, slamming the door behind him. He gives himself thirty seconds. No more, and no less. Thirty seconds to breathe.

"It's not him. That's not Daniel talking. It's not who he is. Remember yesterday? That's my little brother, my Enano." Sean tries to remind himself not to take Daniel's words to heart. It's easier said than done. Sure, it's not Daniel's honest words he just heard. It is, however, Sean who made him that way. At least it felt that way.

Now, onto the next problem. Sean must get Daniel to take his medications. This is difficult enough on a good day. On a bad day, it's hell on earth. There's not even a point in hiding them. Sean fills up a water bottle, grabs the necessary pills, and returns to his brother.

"Daniel, I want you to listen to me. Can you do that, little brother?" Daniel's sitting up in his bed when Sean enters the room. An entire waterfall of sweat pours down his face. The boy's too exhausted to respond.

"I have something for the pain, ok? But I need you to trust me, Enano." Sean puts on his most comforting big brother smile as Daniel turns to him.

"Ok. Trust you." Well, here goes nothing. Sean shows him the pills he'd kept hidden in his hand. Daniel's expression changed on a dime.

Away with the brotherly trust.

And enter the look of betrayal.

"No. No, no, no, no, no!" Daniel screamed at Sean's face. Then, something happened. Something Sean had feared.

Daniel's eyes moved away from Sean while staring blankly into the empty space behind him. His little brother zoned out if you will. Then…

Daniel slapped his brother's arm, causing the pills to fly across the room. Except, Daniel wasn't the one doing it. It all happened in less than five seconds. Then, a confused Daniel returned. Sean believed that he was, at least to some extent, aware of what just happened.

"Daniel, what just happened?" Sean almost whispered. Why is he even asking this? Daniel's not going to answer him, and he already knows the answer anyway.

"Enano… did you do that?" Sean put a comforting hand on his brother's shoulder in an attempt to get him to answer.

This would turn out to be a great mistake.

"NO! Don't you fucking touch me!" Daniel almost jumps in fear, but his frail body keeps him from doing so.

"Ok, Daniel, I'm sorry. I- I didn't mean to-" Yeah… too late.

"Get the FUCK away from me! I hate you, it's all your fault, and I hope you fucking DIE!" Daniel attempts to crawl out of the bed to get away from Sean. The older Diaz does not attempt to stop him since doing so would only result in more screaming, more scratching, more biting, and more pain. Therefore, Sean takes a step back for the moment while letting his tears flow freely.

Daniel's just reached the very side of the bed when something happens. Sean could see it from a mile away. How Daniel's arm jerked backward rapidly while a short, strange, almost hiccuping sound filled the room. Sean rushed to his brother but didn't make it in time.

"Ow- fuck!" Daniel's body hit the floor while in the middle of a mild seizure. The boy had no means to ease the fall.

"Daniel?! Shit. Daniel, talk to me!" Sean kneels next to his brother on the floor. Actually, scratch that. Sean's on his knees and elbows as he desperately attempts to see if Daniel's alright.

"Sean?" A few seconds later, Daniel answered him. This time, he didn't sound like the bad-day-Daniel full of rage. No. This is just the regular Daniel Diaz.

Enano.

"Hey there, little cub. You doin' alright there?" Sean lays down on the floor next to his brother, but never breaks eye contact.

"Yeah, I guess. Why?" Daniel asked him, slightly confused.

"You had a bit of a fall, buddy. I just want to make sure that you're not in any pain." Sean grits his teeth while praying for the worst to be over.

"Oh. Well, that sucks. But I'm good, Sean. Thanks for being here with me." Sean grabs his brother's hand and receives a weak squeeze in return. Daniel's far from alright, meaning Sean gives him a while before getting back up again.

"Sean?" Daniel said in a determined tone.

"Yeah, Enano, what's up?" Sean felt his brother's hand, and how it squeezed more and more for every second.

"Sean?" Daniel's breathing increases rapidly. Shit. This poor child.

"Don't be afraid, little cub. I won't leave your side." Sean had to fight to keep his voice from breaking.

"Sean…" Daniel cries his older brother's name before his eyes roll into the back of his head, and every muscle in his already broken body tensed itself to the very limit and beyond. Daniel Felipe Diaz lost consciousness due to a seizure.

Sean kept his word. He never left his little brother's side. Not when Daniel's body twitched in every direction, not when the boy chewed into his tongue and blood poured from his mouth, and not during the hours upon hours Daniel slept in the aftermath.

"Fuck…" Sean felt like the seizure would never end. He wants to just lay down and cry. But he can't. Not now. First, Sean puts a soft pillow under his brother's head. Then, he pulls a blanket over him. Last but not least, Sean grabs the water bottle from before, soaks a towel, and uses it to clean his brother's face from blood, sweat, and tears.

Very literally.

Sean looks at his brother. Then, it kinda just happened.

Sean sobbed uncontrollably.

"I'm so sorry, Daniel. I'm sorry for everything." No matter how many times Sean says it, one thing shall remain unchanged.

This is his life now.

A few hours later…

Daniel heard voices. Familiar voices. They're talking about him for some reason.

"I don't know what to do, Lyla." Don't know what? And who's Lyla?

"You're doing the best you can, Sean. This shit's just too much for anyone to handle. You, me, Esteban, and especially Daniel." He feels confused. What's difficult for him? Also, why are they inside his bedroom while talking about him?

Seizures.

The brain becomes overheated. All senses awake one at a time. Add Daniel's brain damage to the mix and things won't exactly get less confusing. At first, Daniel could only hear. Now, however, Daniel's sense of touch slowly returns. This means that he can begin to move around. It also means that he feels pain again. And a seizure?

That causes pain (trust this writer).

The boy tries to move his legs a little. He finds it impossible, however, since he's too exhausted to even lift a finger. Daniel tries to call for help, only to stop immediately after a sharp pain spread inside his mouth. Well, his tongue to be precise. He could taste blood. A lot of blood. With a lot of effort, the boy manages to open his eyes.

"Hey, Enano. Try not to talk, ok? Don't worry. You're alright." Daniel looks at his brother questioningly. He then looks around the room, only to realize that he's not in his bed as he originally thought. Slowly, the reality begins to settle. And with it comes the memory of what happened before it. The things he did, the things he said, all of it. It hits the little wolf like a freight train.

A freight train of guilt.

"Sorry, Sean. Sorry." Daniel sobs silently as Sean carefully embraces him.

"It's ok, Daniel. It's not your fault." Deep down, Daniel knows that to be the truth. Right now, however, he's not interested in hearing it.

"Forgive me, Sean. Please?" Sean forgave his little brother. Just like the last time, and the time before that, and the time before that. There was, however, a question in the air. They both felt it, yet nobody ever spoke of it.

How many times can Sean forgive his little brother?

How many bad days can Daniel handle?

And…

How much more of this could the Diaz household handle?

Notes:

This chapter shows us how a bad day might look. Daniel's in pain, has difficulty speaking, is easily agitated, and can even be violent if provoked. Also, all the other factors contribute to him getting seizures a lot easier (stress, pain, etc.).

The part about Daniel screaming isn't something I've seen other people do, so I'm basing that on a bit of Google research about various forms of brain damage. And no, I never did that when I was sick either (why do I feel the need to say that? Yeesh...).

Daniel's hands being all tensed up and holding onto an "invisible baseball" happened because I sat and wondered what to write next. I just randomly looked at my hand, and my hand kinda looked like that and trembling and shit. So that's random asf.

Now, here comes the more difficult part.

The whole "seizure" part, is very personal to me since I have Epilepsy myself. I do NOT know what a seizure (unconscious) looks like. Kinda obvious since I'm unconscious, right? Also, I have exactly ZERO intentions to Google that shit since it's just traumatic for me. So it is what it is. Daniel waking up, however, is step-by-step how it feels to wake up from a real seizure.

Feel free to leave a comment below. Thanks for all the feedback so far.

Enjoy!

K. S.

This is a bad day.

You have many things.
Crippling pain.
Paranoia.
Difficulty walking.
Difficulty talking.

The pain.
It is everywhere.
It is nowhere.
All at once.
You scream.
You tense every muscle.
It only hurts more.

Your mind.
It cannot co-operate.
It tells you things.
You know they aren't true.
Still, you believe them.
Your family.
Maybe they do hate you?

Your body.
Once so active.
This is what remains.
A broken shadow from the glory days.
You cannot walk.
Get dressed.
Not even wipe your ass.

The words.
You still know them.
They're still there.
All of them.
In your head.
But...
They won't come out of there.

When will your suffering end?

Chapter 5: Koyaanisqatsi

Summary:

Daniel has a startling realization. Then, a strange set of events make him reconsider the person he is, and the person he's becoming.

Notes:

The weird title of this chapter is explained in the end notes.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

A few days later…

Daniel sat on his bed while leaning his back against the wall. Just the small task of sitting up made him feel exhausted these days. He's yet to come to terms with his condition, and what it truly means for him. Few would blame him though. It's not every day that your entire life changes overnight. Not like this.

Never like this.

Today was an average day. Not good, but not bad either. Daniel, however, rarely knew the difference until the day after. He sees a comic book on his bedside table and reaches for it. Just grabbing it made his fingers hurt, but Daniel blamed it on too much drawing.

What else would it be, right?

The comic looks new. Only a couple of days old. Usually, Daniel reads them as soon as he gets them. Why is that not the case here? Why can't he recognize this comic? Well, he doesn't give it too much thought. Daniel just got a new comic to read, and damn it, he's gonna read it. Little did he know…

His big brother already read it to him last night.

And the night before that.

And the night before that.

He did not know because he did not remember.

The boy opened the first page of his comic book with excitement. He couldn't wait to find out about Power Bear's new adventures. Daniel looks at the first image, finding the little speech bubble, and-

Something's wrong.

The letters. He can still see them, and he still understands them. But, they all sort of blend together. Every letter and number on the page is mixed into a clusterfuck of concussive confusion.

The letter "G" becomes the letter "C".

The letter "O" becomes the letter "Q".

The letter "P" becomes the number "9".

The number "3" becomes the letter "E".

And so on…

Although a long way from acceptance, Daniel's realized that some things about his life won't ever be the same again. The good days and the normal days he could handle. The less said about the bad the better. Some things he hated even on his normal days.

Pain.

Weakness.

Confusion.

Memory loss.

Just to name a few. Leave the bad days out, however, and none of these things ever scared him. Daniel's a smart kid, so he knows that something's not right. Deep down, he's known it since the moment they got home from the hospital. Denial, however, is a powerful force when put into full effect. But, not even denial could save him here. Not even denial could cook up an excuse for why this is happening. A reason for why he just regressed five years overnight.

A reason for why he woke up, unable to read even the shortest of words. It scares him. Something's happening to him, and he cannot understand what it is, and why it is happening.

He must be tired. Yeah, that's probably it. Tired. When thinking about it, most of last night felt like a blur so it made sense. Daniel concentrated while attempting to read a sentence at random, using the same method he did in first grade when learning how to read.

"N-o… No." Ok, that's one word. He just had to focus, that's all.

"O-n-e… One." Ok, he's getting there. Focus, dude, focus!

"C-a-n… Can." Reading this out loud took a lot of energy out of him, but Daniel ignored it. He felt like he had to prove that nothing was going on and that everything was alright with him.

"D-e-f-" Daniel goes silent.

The word in question is "Defeat".

Ironic.

Isn't it?

Daniel attempts to read the letter "E".

Instead, however, the number "3" replaced it.

The boy felt the familiar fear as it grew inside him. His breathing increased, and with it, his concentration decreased. Once again, the entire page melted into a creative concussive clusterfuck of confusion. Daniel's hands trembled in both fear and what would prove to be the start of a very slow realization.

"What- what's wrong with me?" The boy whimpered, realizing that only the last three of those words left his mouth. The stronger the emotions, the worse it got. His speech, that is. Since Daniel's ability to speak properly seems to have abandoned him, he resorts to the one thing everyone can do. Babies, the elderly, and everyone in between.

Daniel screams as he throws the comic book against the wall.

Then, he leans back against the wall again while wishing to be put out of his misery. What the fuck is happening to him?

"Daniel, is everything alright?" A voice asked him while knocking on the door to his room. It's not Sean, but he recognized it. Without even realizing it, Daniel smiled when hearing the voice.

"No." He answers. It's not a lie. He's not alright, but he's not really sure what he is either.

Except afraid.

"Ok, I'm coming in, Daniel." The door opens, and inside comes a girl, about Sean's age. She feels so familiar, yet like a complete stranger. Daniel, however, feels safe with her. He feels more than safe with her.

"Hey, little guy. What's going on? I heard you, you know…" The girl sat on the side of his bed and placed her palm on Daniel's forehead.

That's when it hit him.

Fuck…

Daniel's got no idea what's happening to him right now, but this if anything confirmed one thing.

It's bad.

Very bad.

Lyla. How could he forget about Lyla? He recognized her voice, but only found it familiar. Daniel didn't remember her. He could not remember Lyla Park, Sean's best friend, and Daniel's top-secret crush. The last part, however, is something only he knows about. Still, how could he-

"What's wrong, Daniel? You're crying." Lyla smiles at him, but her face shows concern.

"I'm sorry, Lyla." Usually, Daniel apologized for many things on his normal days. This, however, would be something new.

"Hey, you have nothing to apologize for, Daniel. You hear me? Nothing. You're still my favorite-Diaz." Daniel didn't see it, but Lyla had to push back her tears.

"But- I forgot, Lyla. I forgot." Daniel sobs shamefully.

"What do you mean, Daniel? Forgot what?" Lyla sounds equally concerned and confused.

"You. I forgot you, Lyla." Daniel cries out before Lyla managed to wrap her arms around him.

"Hey, it's ok, Daniel. I forgive you." Lyla let a few tears escape as she comforted Daniel.

"Promise?" The broken boy asked her.

"Of course, Daniel. Listen, you should get out of bed for a while. How about you go sit on the couch, and I'll go make us something to eat? We could watch any movie you want." Lyla tried so hard. Still, Daniel couldn't get rid of this feeling that something was very wrong.

"Ok." Still, Lyla's one hell of a chef. Much better than Sean or, god forbid, dad. Couch it is then. Daniel attempts to stand up, only to realize that his legs refused to do what he told them to. He could move them, sure. Just not like he wanted to. The young wolf's struggling to get to his feet.

"Hey, do you need any-" Lyla tried to ease into it. Still, Sean's the only one who Daniel allowed to help him. No exceptions. Anything else would be humiliating.

"I can do it." Can he? Really?

Daniel stood up on wobbly legs. He looked down at his feet. The floor seemed to be a thousand miles away. He felt dizzy. One step at a time, Daniel makes his way to the living room. He's not sure how long it took for him to get there. Daniel had to make more than a few pit-stops along the way to rest. Still, he managed to get there.

Lyla made them both a great breakfast. Well, had he looked closer, Daniel would've seen that Lyla settled for a massive cup of coffee. Daniel, however, got bacon and eggs along with some orange juice. Then, Lyla put on a movie that, to be honest, Daniel didn't care much about. He never cared much about anything these days. It felt like his heart just wasn't in it.

Ten minutes later, the boy fell asleep.

Ground zero…

Daniel found himself back at the skate park somehow. Is this a dream? He couldn't tell. He couldn't tell anything these days. It's dark and deserted, and not even a moon to brighten up the place. It creeps him out. He wants to leave. Still, he continues to walk closer to that very spot.

The rail.

The place where his life changed forever due to his overconfidence and stupidity. He could see it in the distance. Every step the boy took felt heavier than the last. His small heart increased its rate to the point where it almost exploded. Or so it felt like.

Daniel arrived at the place where it all began. The beginning of the end. His end. Only in his dreams did he have this amount of insight and acceptance about himself and his situation. There was, however, one reoccurring problem.

He always believed it to be a dream.

This, however, is no dream.

This, just like the last time, and all the other times is a nightmare.

Daniel kneels next to the rail to get a closer look at it. He almost expected parts of his brain to still be there. But no, this looks just like any normal rail in town. Daniel holds his hand above it, feeling how his heartbeat returns to normal.

"Perhaps there's nothing to fear here?" He whispers before slowly letting his hand grab the rail.

He was wrong.

Very wrong.

The temperature must have dropped at least fifty degrees when he heard it.

"OOOOWWWOOOOOOOOOOO… OWOO OOWWOOOOOOOO!" A howl in the far distance. This, however, did not belong to a fellow wolfbrother. This howl sent a chill through his entire spine. Daniel looks around the park in fear as he realized that he needs to get out of there fast.

Then he looked at his hand. The same hand that still held onto the rail.

"AH- FUCK!" The rail was soaked in blood, causing Daniel to immediately let go of it. The first thing he saw, was that underneath where he had his hand, a large dent in the rail had appeared. Daniel automatically felt at the back of his head.

"I'm ok, I'm ok, I'm ok…" Or, you know… not.

The sound of footsteps coming from behind made him do something he hasn't done in a long time. Daniel started to run. He ran without looking back. He ran in fear of his life. Daniel runs out of the park, and arrives at the very place where he collapsed when-

"Daniel." A voice calls his name. It's a voice of nightmares. Deep, dark, frightening, and just plain evil. The footsteps slowly gained on him, echoing across the wasteland.

"Look at me, Daniel." The voice orders him calmly, but he's got no intention to obey. Never obey.

"You're not real." Daniel whimpers in desperation at the strained breathing he heard from behind.

"Oh, but I assure you, Daniel… I am real." The footsteps come closer to him until the source stood before him.

"I am very real, Daniel Diaz." He could not see who or what this was. Daniel saw no face, no eyes, no haircut, body type, nothing. Just one thing.

A shadow. A giant, dark shadow.

And Daniel Diaz is very much afraid of the dark.

He runs. Daniel runs in the opposite direction in hopes of escaping the shadow. He almost succeeded.

Almost.

"You cannot run from me, Daniel." The shadow appears in front of him, making Daniel fall to the ground. He quickly gets up, however, running in yet another direction. A strained sigh could be heard from the shadow.

Daniel runs up a large ramp in an attempt to escape. Just when he's at the very top, however, the shadow reappears.

"You cannot escape, Daniel." The young wolf fell to the very bottom of the ramp. The shadow followed him. Daniel slowly got to his feet while seemingly accepting the fact that escape is futile.

"What do you want?" Daniel whimpers in fear. The shadow stands before him as if it's studying him.

"What do I want, Daniel? I wish to save you. I can ease your suffering. Join me, and I shall lead you on the right path." This dream, this nightmare, it felt so real.

Join me?

Join who?

Join what?

"What are you?" Daniel asks with a small hint of confidence.

"You shall see…" The shadow in front of him begins to take form. The form of a human.

Then, the shadow starts to shrink.

And shrink.

And shrink.

It's not much taller than Daniel. Actually, not much shorter either. An eerily similar haircut started to become visible now.

"Fuck." Daniel mumbled as he realized it. Then…

It all went south.

For one second, all he saw was a dark shadow, about the size of a ten-year-old, and brown hair.

The next second?

Too much to decipher at once.

Daniel saw himself from that fateful day. An identical carbon copy. The same beige cargo shorts with the same three drops of blood above his left knee. The same blue T-shirt that read "Canis Lupus Manipulus". He loved that shirt. Fucking doctors never gave it back.

There was, however, a few major differences.

His shadow self was pale as a ghost. His eyes rolled into the back of his head, creating the appearance of him having completely white eyes. Blood poured freely from his nose, and onto the ground. Still, that's not even the worst part.

The back of the child's head was split open and soaked his back in blood. Daniel felt sick. This isn't happening. Not real, not real, not fucking real.

"You fear what you see, don't you? Hmm… I do not blame you." The shadow may look like him, but he doesn't sound like him. This makes him even more uncomfortable.

"What- what's happening?" Daniel stutters. He wants to run.

"You already know what is happening, Daniel. Do you not?" The shadow placed its index finger on Daniel's forehead.

"You know… in here." The shadow placed his palm over Daniel's heart.

"But have yet to know it in here." Daniel's shaking. Can you pass out in a dream? If so, then what happens?

"Join me, Daniel, and I shall learn you." The shadow extended a hand towards him. A part of Daniel felt like this was more than a dream, and that the shadow had a point. Maybe he should join him?

"You cannot outrun me, Daniel, for I reside within you. Fighting me is a defeat even in victory, for I am aware of your next move before you've even thought of it. I am a part of you, Daniel, and I shall never cease to exist. You shall never be free… unless you join me." Daniel stares at the hand in front of him.

Denial. It's controlled him thus far. A strong and very dangerous mindset. Still, there is something much more powerful than denial.

Fear.

Fear of the unknown, of what's about to come, of himself, of the future, and most important of all, fear of the truth.

"NO! FUCK YOU!" Daniel screams at the shadow before running past it. He heard a deep sigh before it happened.

The shadow did not run after the terrified child. Instead, the shadow extended its right hand towards him, lifting the boy in the air.

"What the f- no. NO!" Daniel panicked as he realized that he couldn't move. Slowly, his body levitated above the ground as the shadow stood before him once again.

"You keep torturing yourself, and you do not even realize it. Such a waste." Daniel can't move a muscle. Arms and legs spread out like he's crucified on an invisible cross.

"Without me…" The shadow applies pressure to each of his limbs, causing him pain.

"You'll never be free." Daniel wants to scream, but he can't. He can hear his bones cracking.

"All you ever will be…" Blood pours from the boy's eyes, nose, and ears.

"Is a shadow." The shadow closed his fist, causing several things to happen at once.

Daniel's legs, arms, wrists, back, and neck broke.

The shadow vaporized into nothing.

And…

"AAAHHH!" Daniel screamed as he woke up from the nightmare of all nightmares. He takes a look around the room and takes a deep sigh of relief as he realizes that he's still safely on the couch of his living room.

"Shit…" The boy drags a palm across his face before turning on the television as a way to distract himself. It didn't work. No matter how hard he tried, the same words echoed in his head, over and over again.

"Without me… you'll never be free." Maybe, maybe not. But the question that lingered on his mind was slightly different.

What did the shadow mean by freedom?

How does the shadow's view of freedom compare to Daniel's?

And…

Could the two coexist?

Notes:

This chapter shows an average day from Daniel's perspective. He's deep in denial about his condition while his health keeps declining and the complications keep getting worse.

First things first. About the name of this chapter. For the last week or so I've been pretty much obsessed with the latest season of Stranger Things and Vecna. Daniel's nightmare was originally planned to be a Vecna-like sequence where he's haunted by visions and the shadow tells him that his time is about to end. That didn't happen, but we'll get to that part in a bit.

The word "Koyaanisqatsi" is in a language called "Hopi". It is the name (and lyrics btw) of one of Vecna's theme songs in the show. The word basically means "life out of balance". The prefix koyaanis- means "corrupted" or "chaotic", and the word "qatsi" means "life" or "existence" literally translating "Koyaanisqatsi" as "chaotic life".

The source on that would be Wikipedia.

While the word may sound strange, I kinda feel like it fits. Daniel's life right now would fit the description of a "chaotic life" right?

Moving along...

Daniel's difficulties when attempting to read are based on people with dyslexia describing their condition. Also, the fact that he got defeated by reading the word "defeat" was a pure coincidence. It just kinda happened.

Daniel's T-shirt in his dream is a nod to my other fic "Wolf Brigade". The writing on his shirt (Canis Lupus Manipulus) roughly translates to "Wolf Squad" in Latin. Plus it kinda rhymes too...

Daniel's nightmare sequence is so much more than just a nightmare. He's back at the skatepark, a.k.a. the source and cause of all his pain. The skatepark represents "hell" to Daniel because he can only see pain and misery there.

The shadow represents the part of himself that he's been trying to suppress. A part that he's not willing to accept. A part that he insists on defeating. The shadow represents Daniel's "condition".

The shadow wants Daniel to join him because otherwise, he'll never be free. Well, Daniel's condition ain't going nowhere. That is why he cannot defeat it or outrun it. Only join it, thus accepting the fact that this is who he is now. Daniel, however, wasn't ready... yet.

Also, don't worry. There will be more lighthearted moments too...

Please leave a comment below.

Enjoy!

K. S.

Acceptance.
Difficult to earn.
Impossible to learn.

You were offered a hand.
You did not take it.
Do you have any regrets?
Any private concerns?
Of course, you have.

Remember.
You cannot outrun him.
The seeds of doubt have been planted.

The truth shall grow.
For better or worse.
Only this time.
You won't deny it.

Chapter 6: Day Of The Idol

Summary:

Sean turns sixteen today. Sixteen years old, and everyone forgot about him.

Well, almost everybody...

Notes:

CAKE!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

August 15th, 2016 — Sean Diaz's 16th birthday…

Today, Sean Diaz turns sixteen years old. Ask him a few months ago, and this would have been the most important day in his entire life. That old car downstairs? The one that his father's been working on for the past decade or so? Sean would get it as a present and then apply for a driver's license. The first thing he'll do, just as he promised, would be to drive Daniel around town while blasting music of his little brother's choice on the loudest of volumes.

Ask Sean now, however, and things are different.

He didn't even know that today was his birthday. Hell, even if he did, he couldn't care less. Sean can't afford to care about himself these days. Apparently, neither could his father. The car downstairs? Esteban had to sell it in order to pay for Daniel's medical bills.

Not that it mattered.

Car or not, Sean could never afford a driver's license these days. Not to mention the cost of keeping a car up and running. Still, that's not what hurt him the most. What truly hurt Sean was the image of himself and Daniel, cruising around Seattle while blasting Daniel's shitty music all over the neighborhood. Daniel would pop his head out the window and howl like a wolf while Sean would laugh his ass off.

But no. That image remains inside his head forever. It wasn't meant to be. Instead, Sean starts what used to be his most important day in life, just like any other day. Nobody remembers his birthday. Not dad, not Lyla, and definitely not Daniel. Not even himself.

Right?

Wrong!

Someone remembered.

This "someone" could never forget.

No matter what.

Daniel wasn't religious, but last night he prayed. He prayed that today would be a good day. Daniel asked for nothing else than that. Just this one day. By the looks of it, his prayers have been answered. Daniel woke up today feeling a bit groggy but felt a clarity he hasn't experienced in a very long time. He smiled.

"Thank you." Today would be a very good day. The boy takes his time to get out of bed. A good day is a good day, but he doesn't want to push things to their limits. He sits at his desk while checking the date on his calendars. One old-school on the wall, and one digital on his desk.

The one on the wall has today's date colored entirely in red, marking it as very important. Underneath the color, however, the old writing could still be seen.

"Big bro's B-day! OMG 16 yrs!" Something was written by the Daniel of old. Today, however, Daniel needed no color coding to understand. He could make out the text along with the meaning behind it. Barely, but he's so happy that he could.

Still, he must be certain. The digital calendar is something Sean and Lyla keep track of. And yes, the date matches. Today's his big brother's birthday. Daniel takes a few deep breaths before opening a drawer on his desk. He takes out an envelope, a pencil, and a large piece of paper.

This.

This almost feels like his life's work.

To keep this a secret while also continuing to work on it during his better days? It was a lot to handle. At times, Daniel felt like he balanced on the line between "a lot" and "too much". Still, here it is, finished, just in time. Daniel doesn't want this day to be about him. Everything nowadays is about him. Nobody, however, spares a thought to those around him. The people who care for him. Nobody.

Except for him.

This won't be enough, but it's the least he could do, considering the circumstances.

"Daniel, are you up?" Shit! Sean's knocking on his door, and Daniel's sitting at his desk with Sean's birthday present on full display.

"Uh- don't come in, Sean!" Daniel shouts in panic. Back in the old days, this would work. In the present, however, Sean believes Daniel to be in pain.

"Daniel? What's wrong, Enano? Talk to me." Fuck! Improvise, dude, improvise. Daniel's motor skills have declined to the point where he cannot put fragile items away quickly without either dropping them or breaking them. In short, he must come up with an excuse.

"No, Sean- I mean- I'm good. Nothing's wrong. It's just-" God damn-it, think!

"It's just what, Enano? Don't worry, take your time, don't stress it." Well, at least Sean gives him all the time in the world to think. Not that it made things less awkward.

"Uhm- I'm just… naked. Yeah, very naked. Don't come in, Sean." Daniel heard something similar to a loud snort on the other side of the door as his older brother tried to hide his laughter. The boy mentally punched himself in the face.

"Ok, Daniel. Just, you know… clear the browser history, ok?" Sean doesn't wait for a response. Instead, he walks to the kitchen while laughing at the fact that his little brother seems to be having a good day.

Meanwhile, Daniel cursed at the moldy remains of his brain for making him say something embarrassing as that. Still, he couldn't argue with the results though. Daniel puts the contents on his desk in the envelope and seals it. Then, he takes a pencil and writes on the envelope.

"Happy birthday Sean" The young wolf felt a lone tear escape before he quickly got rid of it. No crying. Not yet at least. He goes to his wardrobe and looks for it. Lyla bought it for him the day before the accident, but he never got to wear it. Then, everyone just forgot about it. Except for Daniel.

There it is. Deep inside his wardrobe. A dark-blue hoodie with a blue and red wolf printed on the chest along with the lettering "Squad". Identical to the hoodie his older brother still wore every single day. Daniel changes into a pair of shorts since it is kinda hot already. Then, he picks out a green T-shirt that reads "Edo, Dormio, Nano, Repeto!" Finally, he puts on the hoodie.

Daniel exits his room while carrying the envelope behind his back, hidden from view. Sean's in the kitchen preparing breakfast. God, on his more thoughtful days, Daniel truly feels for his older brother. He does nothing but give and give while knowing that he won't get anything back.

At least Daniel's confident that Sean believes something similar to that.

"Oh, hey, man. Everything ok today?" Sean looked at his brother while preparing an entire plate of bacon and eggs.

"Yeah. I feel good, Sean. I feel… great today." It almost felt weird not having any pain, and not struggling to get the words out. But sometimes, miracles do happen.

"That's awesome, Daniel. I'm so happy for you, man." Daniel could see it. Sean truly was happy.

Ok, here goes nothing…

"Hey, Sean, can we talk?" Daniel looks at his brother, trying to hint at the fact that he wants them to sit down.

"Sure thing, Daniel. Come on, let's sit down." The brothers sit down next to each other on the couch in the living room. Daniel moved slowly and a bit stiff. Still, he moved with a lot more ease than in any recent days.

"What's going on, Enano? Is there something wrong?" Sean's starting to sound nervous. Why must there always be something wrong when he wants to talk?

"I- I have something for you, Sean. Here." Daniel hands over the envelope. A confused Sean takes it, only to stare at the writing. It's slightly difficult to read, and the letters are crooked, but there's no doubt about what it says.

"Happy birthday Sean"

"Holy shit," Sean whispers in both shock and surprise equally. He didn't even know that today was his birthday. All the surrounding chaos made him forget about it completely.

"I didn't even know it was today, Daniel," Sean says in an empty tone while forcing back the tears.

"I never forgot, Sean. I forget about dad, Lyla, and even myself. But not you. I could never forget you, Sean. You're my brother." Sean cleared his throat while removing a few tears with his sleeve.

"Thanks, Daniel," Sean told him with a very unsteady voice. Then, he began opening the envelope.

Inside the envelope were two items.

A card.

And a drawing.

Sean looks at the card first.

"Happy 16th birthday WOLFbigbrother!" Daniel may or may not have changed a thing or two on the front side. Sean turns the card and reads the backside.

The first thing that hit him, was the struggle. How much time did his little brother spend on this? There is a lot of text. Sean could see small traces of an eraser being put to use many times. The spelling's faulty, the grammar's poor, but Daniel wants to give his big brother a message.

Boy, did he ever?

"Hey, Sean. I just want to say thank you. You know, for being my brother. I know that things aren't what they used to be, and neither am I. But no matter what happens, Sean, no matter what I say on those days, I'll still be your Enano. And you'll always be my idol. I hope this helps you understand that. Happy birthday, big brother. I love you. / Daniel"

Sean felt numb. Daniel didn't blame him for what happened. Sean sure as hell did.

"Sean, are you ok?" Daniel's voice pulled him back to the real world. Sean faked a coughing fit while taking the opportunity to wipe his face with his sleeve again.

No more tears.

"Yeah, Enano. I'm good. Just a little tired." A bad lie, but it did the job.

Until he saw the drawing.

This time, Sean could not stop the tears.

Daniel's drawn a close-up portrait of himself and Sean, both of them smiling with one arm around the other. That on its own was beautiful. Still, something else caught Sean's attention.

The details.

And no, not the lack of them. Quite the opposite in fact.

Daniel's birthmark under his left eye. Sean's scar from when Brett Foster threw a rock at his face at the age of six. Every tiny little detail is there with nothing left behind. Not even…

That scar. Daniel's hair covered most of it now. Still, the drawing showed a small part of it. The scar he got that day, and in the surgery that followed it. Daniel smiles on the drawing even though he's scarred. Still, this is how he sees himself now. Could that mean that he's one step closer to acceptance?

"You don't… like it?" Daniel sniffles next to him. Sean didn't even realize how stuck in thought he was. He didn't waste much time. Sean wrapped his arms around his little brother, only this time, Sean was the one crying on his shoulder.

"I love it, Daniel. It's beautiful. How- when-" He didn't even know what to say. When did Daniel get so good at drawing? He's at the same level as Sean, for fuck's sake.

"I've been working on it for a while. Only on good days. It kept me from losing my mind… kinda. I had to hide it from everyone which was kinda hard. But I did it." Daniel felt proud when explaining himself to Sean. It felt like he just accomplished something truly great in his life. A milestone.

"Yeah, Enano. You did. Thank you… so much. I'm proud of you, and I love you. No matter what." Their brotherly moment is interrupted, however, by a message on Sean's phone.

"Hang on, I gotta check that." Today is a Lyla day, meaning she's probably the one texting him.

"Sorry, Sean, I overslept. On my way now." Yep. It's Lyla alright.

"Is it Lyla?" Sean saw a light in his brother's eyes he hasn't seen in a long time. He thought about it for a few seconds before answering.

"Yeah, it's Lyla. You know what, Enano? I think I'm gonna ask her to bring a few things. Today, we'll be having a Diaz lazy day. Like we used to." Daniel answered with only a smile. Sean could see that the boy was tired, but he didn't want to waste a day like this on sleep.

"Daniel=GREAT DAY! Come here. Bring cake." Sean sends the text to Lyla. He didn't have to wait long for the answer.

"?" Well, guess Lyla forgot about that as well. Sean can't blame her though.

"Ok, then, Lyla the birthday bitch…" Sean finished the text with a laughing emoji.

"!? Birthday! Right, I knew that. Cake it is!" Right. Nice try.

Later…

"And I win again, bro." Yep. He sure did.

"Son of a b- how do you do that, Daniel?" Sean had doubts at first when Daniel wanted them to start the old PlayBox. Daniel's not the same person he used to be, and won't be able to react in the same lightning-fast way he used to.

So, Sean found a gray area. He chose Fortnite. A game that Sean utterly despised since it's made solely for ten-year-old kids.

Kids like Daniel. Hopefully, Sean's obliviousness to the game mechanics would compensate for Daniel's condition.

Yeah… about that…

Daniel got off to a rough start as he found it difficult to remember which button to press and when to press it. Sean, however, gave him time. At first, Sean felt almost proud every time Daniel kicked his ass. It proved that Daniel was still here, and he was not going anywhere. Then, Sean got competitive, only to get his ass kicked some more. Back in the day, Sean would have lost his mind long ago. But he wants Daniel to have his moment.

"Haha, Sean." Daniel gives him a fake punch on the shoulder.

"You're getting your ass kicked by a kid with brain damage." Both Sean and Daniel froze as an eerie silence filled the room. Neither brother felt sure how to react to what Daniel had just said.

Brain-damage.

Daniel used many terms for his condition. He's called it a concussion, a surgery, and many other things. However, Daniel's never called his condition for what it really is. Brain-damage. Judging by the look on the boy's face, he came to that realization as well.

"I- uhm- I'm sorry, Sean. I didn't mean to joke about that." Daniel apologized to his older brother with a guilty look on his face. Sean, however, knows his brother better than that. He did mean to joke about it.

He did mean it, and that's a good thing.

"Hey, Daniel, don't worry about it. It's good if you can joke about it." Daniel looks at him with confusion.

"It is? Why, Sean?" Hopefully, he's not wrong here.

"The more you make fun of something serious, something bad, Enano? The less of an effect it will have on you. So make all the jokes you want, dude." The look on his brother's face made it pretty clear that he couldn't understand a word of what Sean just said.

"Cool…" Daniel mumbled in response. Sean decided not to follow up on it.

"Sorry, guys. The fucking store was packed, and this jackass just-" Lyla entered the Diaz residence, only to cut herself off mid-sentence while staring at Daniel.

"Hi, Lyla." Daniel stood up, albeit with some resistance, and went to hug Lyla.

"I missed you, Lyla." Daniel cried into her arms. For once, however, the boy cried happy tears.

"I- I missed you too, Daniel." Lyla decided to just enjoy the moment, and pretend like Daniel wasn't a very sick child. Pretend like everything's normal, and perhaps it will be.

"You got us cake, Lyla?" Daniel asked while breaking their embrace.

"Sure did, Daniel. Why don't you go outside for a few minutes? We'll be right out." Daniel steps outside on the porch. He continues to walk on the grass with his bare feet. It kinda tickles. A lot more than it should. Then again, it's who he is now. Some parts of him function, just not as good as they used to.

His short-term memory's failing him. At least on average days.

He no longer has the reflexes of near-lightspeed. Instead, his body's slow, stiff, and clumsy.

The energetic boy who once was is no more. This is the best day since the accident took place. He's barely done anything. Still, he can feel the exhaustion spreading throughout his body like a plague. He's forcing it back, hiding it. This is Sean's day.

Then, there are the other parts of Daniel Diaz.

Those who, instead of functioning worse than before, decide to function better.

Thing is, "better" don't always mean "good."

The sun hurt his eyes, meaning he always wore sunglasses outside. His sensitivity to pain, sound, smell, and taste, all went off the charts at times. It felt like a never-ending rollercoaster. Today, however, seems to be a middle ground for all of these things. Daniel sits down cross-legged in the grass while knowing fully well that he's going to need help to get up. At the corner of his eyes, Daniel could see the neighbor Brett Foster, staring at him from the other side of a wooden fence. Daniel looks at him smugly, noticing the hate he receives in return. Slowly, Daniel raised his hand to give Brett the finger, watching as his racist neighbor stormed inside in anger.

"Asshole…" Daniel giggled before closing his eyes.

He takes it all in. The surrounding smells along with the sounds and the emotions they make him feel. A light breeze on his face cools him down. He could hear a door open and close several times. The blatantly obvious smell of pot would suggest that both Sean and Lyla are totally looking at him right now.

Daniel doesn't care.

He feels at peace. Right now, Daniel Diaz felt like he could take on the world. He knew that his body couldn't, of course, but his heart along with his spirit was more than up to the challenge. His life was not easy, but on this day, Daniel had hope for the future.

"Hey, Enano, wanna eat some cake now?" Daniel opened his eyes to look at his older brother. He could see how Sean's face was red from crying but didn't mention it.

"Yeah, I'm ready." Daniel stretches his legs before coming to a stop.

This isn't the first time Daniel needed help due to his condition. Very far from it. It is, however, the first time Daniel didn't feel ashamed of it. A strange realization. A good one, but strange nonetheless.

"Something wrong, buddy?" Sean asked him. Daniel shook his head.

"No, Sean. I just… figured something out, it's all." Daniel mumbles while reaching out to his brother with an arm.

"Here, Sean. Do you think you could… help me?" Daniel's face turned red, but he didn't feel ashamed.

"Of course, Enano. I got you." Sean grabs his brother's hand, pulling him up to his feet. The brothers sit down on the porch with Lyla while eating Sean's birthday cake. There are stories and laughter, and for one day, things felt almost normal.

Almost.

Daniel felt more and more exhausted throughout the day. He never mentioned it since he wanted this to be Sean's day. Sean, however, knew his brother better than that. He noticed how tired the boy was. Still, Sean didn't bring it up since he wanted Daniel to enjoy this day to the fullest.

With Lyla leaving for the night, Sean suggested a movie to finish the day. Daniel had agreed. Sean put on The Fellowship of The Ring in hopes that Daniel would fall asleep. Daniel, however, swore to himself that he would stay awake throughout the entire movie.

So he did.

It's way past midnight when the credits start rolling. Sean's asleep on the couch since about an hour ago.

"Sean… wake up." No reaction. Daniel's so tired he can't even walk.

"Sean… wake up!" His older brother woke with a startle.

"Uh- wha- what?" Ok, kinda…

"The movie's over, Sean. I'm tired." Daniel looked at his brother with groggy eyes.

"Mhm, yeah. It's late. We better go to bed." Sean attempts to stand up, but Daniel weakly grabs his wrist.

"Can't walk. Tired." So, here's the thing. Sean knows his little brother. In fact, he knows him very well. And Daniel's a terrible liar. This would be a great example of that.

However…

Sean also told Daniel to make fun of it, and do whatever he wants. Granted, this is borderline taking advantage of it, but as long as it doesn't become a regular thing it should be fine. Besides, after today, the kid's earned that much.

"It's alright, buddy. I got you." Sean carries Daniel into his room, placing him on the bed. He leaves Daniel for a few minutes while brushing his teeth. Then, he returns to say good night to his brother. When Sean enters, Daniel's already gone to bed.

"Good night, Daniel. It's been an awesome day. You're a great brother." Sean sits at the side of the bed. He could hear how the boy took a deep breath as if to say something important or difficult.

"Mmm… cake." The boy mumbles in his sleep. Sean couldn't help but smile.

"Good night, little brother. See you tomorrow." Sean pulled a blanket over his brother before leaving the room to go to bed. He regretted the last three words he just said though. They reminded him of something he'd managed to forget today.

They reminded him of the fact that he never knew what the next day might bring.

Notes:

Well, now we have a very calm and wholesome chapter without pain and suffering. Still, Daniel's condition makes itself known in a few places since it wouldn't make sense for him to be 100% healthy for a day.

In the future, this fic will have a mix of ups and downs. This chapter was only "up" while most others have been only "down". From here, I'll do my best to mix things up a bit.

Daniel's drawing is something that will continue in this story. There's a (sort of) plan for it down the line. The reason I wanted him to give that drawing to Sean was so I could show how difficult it is for Daniel to plan in his current state. Also, Daniel wants to give something to Sean in return for everything his brother does. This is a way for him to do so while also doing something he's always wanted to which is drawing like Sean.

A bit of symbolism here. Daniel's T-shirt is green. The color green symbolizes health, good luck, youth, inexperience, and misfortune (plus a million other things). The writing on the shirt (Edo, Dormio, Nano, Repeto!) is Latin and could roughly be translated to "Eat, Sleep, Enano, Repeat!" because... why not?

Feel free to leave a comment below.

Enjoy!

K. S.

You.
Your life sucks.
You know it.
They all know it.

You see how they look at you.
The mournful eyes of pity.
Haunting you from afar.
You do not want them.
You do not want pity.
It cannot help you.

Then again.
Can anybody help you?
Or is this your destiny?

Stuck inside a crippled body.
Held hostage by a decayed mind.
A mind who refuses to listen.
It only does.
Not for you.
Only against you.

You begin to question.
What is the fate of the young wolf?

Shall he fight for his freedom?
OR
Shall the cub become crippled?

Chapter 7: The Roadblock

Summary:

Daniel feels a lot better now. Sean's birthday gave him some well-needed energy. Slowly, he begins to understand and adapt to his new life... or does he?

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

The next day…

Daniel felt great. Yesterday had given him hope for the future which then turned to strength. And Daniel Diaz may not look the part, but under the right circumstances, he's very strong. It felt like a turning point in his life. Well, another turning point, to be precise.

He slept the entire night without the alter-ego of horrors, haunting him from the other side. Daniel woke up later than usual, but he felt happy, thrilled, and, dare he say, excited. He got up on his own, not relying on any help from his brother. The dizziness in his head along with his unsteady legs didn't bother him as much as it usually did.

Sure, he still had a lot of difficulties that made his life a living hell. Daniel, however, slowly started to get used to it. He found different ways to deal with it. This morning, he even made up a set of rules to follow and made Sean sign his name on the paper before putting it above Daniel's desk.

"Take your time." The first rule on the list is also the most basic one. Daniel needed to learn how to do certain things at a much slower pace than he usually did. Given time, however, it usually worked out.

"It's ok to ask for help." A difficult but necessary addition to the list. Daniel only yesterday realized that he might need a lot more help in the future. His brother's not going to be there to take care of him forever. Well, Daniel doesn't want him to because he wants Sean to have a life of his own. Still, he wants him to because it's Sean. Very complicated, to say the least.

"You're still Daniel." The most important rule of them all. Daniel had to remind himself that he was still the same person even if he couldn't do the same things. He had to stop seeing himself as a mistake because everyone else still saw him as Daniel.

Those three rules he repeats to himself constantly while sitting outside on the porch. It's getting cold.

"Uh, stupid sun." Daniel opened his eyes to look at the massive cloud in the sky that blocked off the sun. He decides to stretch his legs a little while Sean's preparing lunch.

Daniel slowly stands up while deciding to keep his sunglasses on. Everything felt so bright to him nowadays. He walks to a nearby tree to take a look at the carving on it. Daniel slowly dragged his palm across the carving. He did this last summer with his best friend.

"Spirit Squad" Daniel and his friend Chris carved that into the tree last year when Chris visited. He missed his friend so much, but Daniel doubts that he's ever going to see him again. Chris lived in Beaver Creek like Daniel's grandparents, and he only sees them once or twice a year if he's lucky.

"Daniel! Five minutes, ok?" Sean calls for him. Seems like lunch's ready.

"Ok, Sean." Daniel sighed as he watched his older brother go back inside. Then, he began going back to the porch.

He didn't get far, however, before an uneasy feeling spread throughout his entire body. Daniel began sweating, the entire world was spinning, and his knees buckled beneath him. The boy fell flat on his face. By the time he hit the ground, however, everything felt normal again. He just had to accept the fact that shit like this is normal now.

"Ow, shit," Daniel mumbled while repeating the first rule in his head.

"Take your time, take your time, take your time." It didn't hurt. Well, no more than usual. So he should be fine.

"Sean?" Daniel calls for his older brother as he realized that he couldn't get up.

"It's ok to ask for help." Daniel reminds himself in hopes that help shall arrive.

"Sean?!" Again, only louder.

"It's ok. I got you, buddy." The voice of his brother whispered into his ear before a strong pair of arms grabbed onto him and lifted him to his feet.

"I don't know what happened, Sean-" Daniel stops speaking abruptly.

The voice of his brother did sound a lot rougher than usual, but he thought it to be his mind playing tricks on him. The strong arms that pulled him to his feet may not sound like Sean on an ordinary day. Still, he knows that his brother's capable of massive feats of strength when forced to. Something he couldn't find an excuse for, however, was Sean's hands. They looked so white. In fear of being right, Daniel looked at his brother's face.

It wasn't his brother. The person who stood before him wasn't his big brother and idol, Sean. It's the exact opposite.

Brett Foster.

Fuck.

Behind the dark sunglasses, Daniel's eyes widened in fear. Meanwhile, Brett looked at him with a face that screamed anger, hate, spite, and revenge.

"Oh, h- hi- B- Brett." Daniel tries to pretend like their families don't hate each other. Brett, however, grabbed him by the collar, proceeding to push him up against the large tree. From their current angle, Sean wouldn't be able to see them from the inside.

"Well if it isn't the half-brained hermano?" Brett jokingly says to his face with a sadistic smile. The words made Daniel want to scream in pain. Unlike so many of Brett's insults, this one, to some extent, was true. During his surgery, Daniel had a piece of his brain removed. Obviously, they didn't remove half his brain, but still.

"Those are some cute sunglasses you're wearing. Did your brother steal them for you, huh?" Daniel ignores him. There used to be a time when he had no problem standing up to Brett Foster. That, however, was because he knew that he could easily outrun his fat-ass. Now, Daniel could barely walk straight.

"Fuck's sake, look at me, retard!" Brett growls before ripping the sunglasses off his face, dropping them on the ground, and stomping on them. Daniel's entire body trembles in fear, and the child cries in silence.

"You keep quiet about this, you hear me? Say anything, and your daddy suffers. Understand?" Daniel understands. He hates it, but he understands it. The last time Esteban Diaz got into an argument with Scott Foster, it ended with community service for Esteban. Supposedly, for trespassing. Daniel doesn't want his family to suffer anymore because of him.

"Yeah. I get it." Daniel mumbled while Brett's face got even more upset.

"I said, do you… understand" Brett got up into his face as if to make a stronger point. Daniel knew what he wanted to hear, and he hated it even more. God, what he would give for Sean to walk in on them right now.

"Yes, sir. I understand, sir." Daniel sniffled while trying to ignore the look on Brett's face.

"That's a good little retard." Brett smiles while patting Daniel on the head like a dog. He felt humiliated, he felt sad, and he felt angry. So very angry.

"Remember, half-brain, don't piss me off again. You can't run from me anymore. And your brother's not going to be there every time." True as it may be, Daniel's not buying the fact that Brett would beat up a nine-year-old kid. No matter how much of a jackass he might be.

"Fuck you, Brett," Daniel said with confidence. Brett, however, did not expect that answer.

"What did you say?" He's in disbelief. Like he couldn't believe his ears. Daniel takes a deep breath while preparing to say the same words again.

"Fuck you, Brett." Those are the words in Daniel's mind and on Daniel's tongue. The words coming out of his lips, however, are very different.

"Cuff you, Brep." The emotions got to him eventually. The fear, the anger, the hate, and the hurt. It pushed Daniel over the edge and made him fall into an abyss of complicated complications.

"The fuck? Little baby can't speak properly? I mean- I knew Mexicans were dumb, but god-damn, this shit's hilarious!" Brett bursts into a fit of laughter as Daniel struggles to find his words.

"N- no- I- I-" It's not even words at this point. Daniel speaks complete gibberish, and he hates it. He hates it because it makes him feel like less of a human. He hates it because Brett laughs at him. But most of all, Daniel hates it because it's so much worse when you're fully aware of it happening.

"I could fucking watch this all day…" Brett continues to laugh before stopping abruptly to grab Daniel's throat. He didn't squeeze hard, but it was more than enough for Daniel to be terrified.

"Listen to me and listen good. Don't tell anyone about this, don't come near our property, and don't ever piss me off again. Because if you do, I will cripple you…" Brett looks at Daniel from head to toe, and back to head again.

"… More." Brett throws Daniel to the ground with full force. Daniel landed badly on his back and time almost ceased to move.

"Fuck…" Brett whispered to none other than himself as he realized his fuckup. His face turned red but he stood his ground. Then, Daniel began screaming.

"SEAN, SEAN, SEAN!" Loud, painful screams for help.

Meanwhile…

Sean's preparing lunch for his little brother. After yesterday, Sean had expected today to be of the bad kind. To see Daniel with so much renewed energy had made his heart warm. He didn't know what the long-term prognosis was for Daniel. Nobody really knew. For someone his age to suffer what he did is very rare, especially without any other conditions on the side of it. Some kids beat it and go on to live ordinary, boring lives. Some, however, don't. Sean tries to not think about it too much.

"There, ready. Daniel will love this." Sean thought while grabbing two plates from a cabinet. Then it hit him.

"Where is he? I told him to get inside, like ten minutes ago." Sean looks outside on the porch, but Daniel's not there.

"Shit." Hopefully, nothing bad happened to him. Sean's just about to reach for the door when suddenly.

"SEAN, SEAN, SEAN!" Fuck. Something bad happened, something very bad. Sean almost kicked the door open to get outside. In the backyard below a tree lay Daniel. Flat on his back, screaming in pain. Sean rushed to his brother's side.

"Daniel? Hey, Daniel? What happened? Are- are you hurt?" Amid all the chaos, Sean misinterpreted his brother. Daniel raised his hand in an attempt to point a finger at Brett Foster's house. Sean, however, believed he sought comfort.

"It's ok, Enano. I'm here now. Sean's here. You're alright. You asked for help, remember?" Daniel closed his eyes as he heard the door to Brett's house slam shut in the distance.

"Come here, buddy, I got you." Sean lifts his little brother and carries him inside.

Sean had tried to ask him what happened. Daniel, however, remained silent. The boy hasn't spoken a word since entering the house. Something's wrong. Sean knew it when he saw the broken sunglasses on the ground. Sure, they could have broken in the fall. But if they did, Daniel should have some kind of injury to his face, right?

Whatever did happen outside, seems to have demoralized him completely. Daniel went to his room and closed the door, leaving Sean alone and confused. Still, that doesn't mean that Sean's clueless though. The racist neighbors, Brett Foster and his father Scott. They've been threatening Sean, Daniel, and Esteban equally for as long as Sean could remember. Usually, however, that's as far as it got.

Threats. Big talk with little action. Scott Foster's a true asshole, but he's also a parent. Would he really do something physical to a defenseless nine-year-old? Sean's uncertain what the answer might be to that question. Brett, on the other hand, felt more like the person who would not only do it but also be proud of it.

The realization hits Sean along with fury beyond this world. Still, he knows that he can't blame them for this without some kind of proof first. And, no matter how much Sean hates to admit it, he's not sure what to believe anymore. One-half of him believes that Daniel just fell, and his condition's why he feels so bad about it. The other half believes that Brett did something to his little brother. Something to hurt him.

Either way, Sean would find a way to get to Daniel and have him tell him what happened. Perhaps he did fall? These days, that's something Sean must learn to expect, sad as it is. Then again, it could also be Brett Foster. And if that turns out to be the case?

Brett Foster shall learn not to harm Daniel Felipe Diaz ever again.

Notes:

Well, I wouldn't have Daniel give Brett the finger in the last chapter for no reason now, would I?

This chapter shows how Daniel starts to get used to his new life while also accepting it in a deeper way than before. He's close to accepting who he is now, only to run into the brick wall that is Brett Foster. This will obviously have an impact on him and Sean both.

In what way? Well, we'll see it in the next chapter...

Please leave a comment below.

Enjoy!

K. S.

You had it.
Acceptance.
Rules.
A future.
You even had hope.

You hit a roadblock.
The roadblock hit you.

Now.
You have nothing.
You are nothing.
No future.
No hope.

Water.
You do not consume it.
For it would be a waste on you.

Food.
You do not eat it.
For you do not deserve it.

Life.
You do not live it.
Nor does it, live you.
You ask yourself.
What is the point?

Nobody ever answers.
A reaction slowly begins.

ENTERING SLEEP MODE.

Chapter 8: Blinded

Summary:

Sean attempts to get his brother to tell him the truth about what happened. He could never have predicted the results...

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

A few days later…

The incident with Brett changed Daniel. It pulverized his newfound sense of hope, crushed his self-esteem, and most importantly, changed his view on life itself. He barely ate any food and refused to leave his room under any circumstances whatsoever. Sean didn't know what to do.

It scared him.

His little brother sits on his bed, all day, staring into oblivion. Sean's made several attempts to talk to him, but he just can't seem to get through to him. Something feels wrong, he just can't help it. He replays that day constantly inside his head, trying to think of what might have happened. Still, he never comes up with an explanation. Daniel's the only person that knows what happened that day, and he's not talking.

"Ok, man. Deep breaths. You gotta find a way to get to him." Sean tells himself before entering his younger brother's room.

"Daniel? You in here?" Sean already knew the answer to that. Daniel hasn't left his room in days. It's so dark that Sean could barely see what's in front of him. He goes to the window and opens up the curtains.

"Ah… close." Daniel's blinded as a result and says his first word in days. He's in terrible shape. Daniel's dirty, he's lost weight and the smell. Dear god, the smell.

"No, Daniel. We need to talk." Sean tries to sound supportive, but the fear in his voice shines through. Daniel, however, didn't seem to care and just shook his head rapidly.

Maybe Sean's looking at this the wrong way? He's asked Daniel every time to talk and tell him what happened, only for Daniel to refuse every single time. Sean, however, has never asked him why he refuses. Well, he's gotta start somewhere.

"Daniel, why don't you wanna talk about that day?" Sean's careful not to hint at something happening. Daniel looks at his feet as if shamed.

"Bad…" He doesn't want to talk about it because it was a bad day. So something did happen? It's time to find out exactly what that was.

"What do you mean, Daniel? Was it a bad day, is that why you don't want to talk?" Sean watched as his brother's face twitched slightly. He struck a nerve somewhere, meaning he's on the right track.

"Something bad will happen if I do…" Daniel whimpered in a barely audible tone. Sean got chills in his entire spine. What the fuck is this?

"Something bad? You mean to yourself?" Daniel still refused to look Sean in the eyes. He reached for something on the bedside table and held it up in front of Sean. A photo of Esteban, Sean, and Daniel. His younger brother points at their father while looking Sean in the eyes in fear of his life. Then, Daniel dropped the photo and pulled his knees to his chest, crying.

"To dad? Something bad will happen to dad if you talk, Daniel? Is that it?" Sean's technically not asking him. He's only saying it out loud as if it would make more sense that way. It didn't. Daniel, however, nodded his head. Over and over again while covering his face in fear and shame equally. Whatever happened, it's a lot worse than Sean anticipated. He needs to find out who's responsible here.

"Daniel…" Sean carefully wrapped an arm around his younger brother. Daniel did not shake it off in anger like in previous days.

"I need you to tell me, Enano… who said that?" He's so close to reaching him. So very close, yet so very far.

"No. Can't. No talk." Sean bites his tongue while taking a look around the room. Then he got an idea.

Maybe Daniel doesn't have to use words to tell him?

"Ok, Daniel, you don't want to talk. I can get that. I'm not much of a talker either. But…" Sean stood up and went over to Daniel's desk.

"Like you, I'm an artist. I'm not going to force you to talk to me, Enano. But if you want to, maybe you could show me instead?" Sean desperately tries to smile while begging for this to work. He seemed to have caught his brother's attention since the younger brother attempts to get to his feet. However, going days without proper food in his condition takes a toll.

The boy failed.

"Help?" Daniel mumbled while reaching out with a hand to Sean. The little cub did not have to ask twice. He helps Daniel to sit down at his desk. By that time, Daniel's exhausted, panting heavily.

"Water," Daniel said while being out of breath.

"I'll go get some water. You want anything else? Maybe some food?" Sean shouldn't push it, but the kid had to eat.

"Burger." Sean opened his mouth to tell Daniel how bad it is to have a burger for breakfast. Then he closed it without saying a word. He should just be happy the kid seems to have an appetite again.

Sean ordered them both a burger and awaited its arrival. In the meantime, Daniel began drawing. Sean tried to take a look, but every time he did, Daniel covered the drawing for him, so he couldn't see. His little brother seemed extremely focused on his task, so Sean left him alone for the time being. For the better or worse, he made progress today.

The burgers finally arrived. Sean grabbed the food and went into his brother's room. Daniel didn't draw anymore but quickly flipped over a piece of paper as soon as Sean entered the room. He wants to know what's on it, but first things first.

"Here, Daniel. This is yours-" Yeah, Sean barely had time to finish the sentence before Daniel ripped the burger out of his hands. Ten seconds later, it was nowhere to be seen.

Damn…

Sean saw the way his brother looked at his burger, meaning he knew what was coming.

"Sean?" There it is. Time to make a deal.

"You want this, huh?" Sean points at his burger, watching as Daniel nods silently.

"I'll give it to you, Daniel if… you show me that drawing." Sean put on his best big brother face, attempting to encourage Daniel. Still, he seemed worried.

"I- I don't know, S- Sean…" Daniel's afraid of something. But what?

"It's just a drawing, Daniel. A piece of paper. It can't hurt you, me, or dad, understand?" Daniel cries silently while looking at Sean.

"Ok, Sean. I- I trust you." Daniel flipped over the paper but did not care for the burger anymore.

"What the fuck…?" Sean's horrified by what he sees.

The drawing depicts two people. One child, and one teenager. Both of them are male. The teenager towers over the other boy. He laughs at the child before him. The child in question cries tears of hurt, fear, and anger. The teenager has one hand around the other child's throat, squeezing the life out of him. At the very top, Sean could read a few crooked letters.

"The half-brained Hermano".

Sean looks back and forth between Daniel and the boy on the drawing. There's no doubt about it. The small boy in the drawing is his little brother. Sean turns his attention to the other person. The one choking his brother. It didn't take him long to put the pieces together.

"Daniel… I'm so sorry." Sean's not sure what to say. Then, Daniel raised his head to look at him. That's when Sean saw it.

"Wait! Let me see, Daniel." His brother instantly backed away slightly on instinct before realizing who just asked him.

"Enano. You know I won't hurt you. I just want to take a look, ok?" Daniel nods. Sean cursed himself for not suspecting anything before. Daniel had pulled his shirt up, so it covered his entire throat. All Sean had to do was pull it down to normal length. There it was.

A large bruise, about the size of a grown man's hand, covered most of his little brother's throat. No wonder he barely spoke a word, this must hurt like hell. Sean slightly put a finger on the bruising which caused Daniel to whimper in pain.

Sean?

Sean did not whimper, and he did not cry. The cold chill which previously filled his spine had disappeared. Taking its place was anger. He felt his blood boiling with rage. A rage that just begged to be unleashed into the world. Sean knew who did this. He knew who the other person on that drawing was.

Over the years, Sean's managed to ignore a lot of things in the name of keeping the peace. Threats, harassment, trespassing, and sabotage, just to name a few things. He could live with that. Sean could live with it because it only affected himself and his father. Esteban said he could live with it, and if he could, so could Sean.

This, however, is very different.

Sean's always had one simple rule about this.

"Do whateverthefuck you want, but keep Daniel out of it." Simple as that.

Now, that rule's broken. Sean felt sixteen years of anger, bubbling inside him. His brother was defenseless. Daniel couldn't fight, he couldn't talk, and he couldn't run away. It makes Sean sick to his stomach. Why the fuck would someone attack a defenseless nine-year-old boy with a fucking brain disease?

All of this and more ran through Sean's head as he stood up without saying a word to his brother. With a determined look on his face, Sean stepped outside with only one thing in sight.

Brett Foster.

Sean comes to a halt outside Foster's door, however, his anger does not. He repeatedly bangs his fist on the door while ignoring the fact that Brett's father might be the one to open it instead.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm coming! What's the fucking problem-" Brett opened the door in anger that quickly turned to confusion and, dares he say fear.

"The fuck you doin' on my property, Diaz?" Brett shouted at him. Sean, however, tried to remain calm. For now.

"Are you alone, Brett?" Sean asked calmly.

"The fuck you care? Get the fuck off my land!" Sean ignores his insults, focusing on the important part.

"I said, are you alone, Brett?" Sean repeats the question.

"What the fuck? Yes! Yes, I am. There, can you leave now?" Good. His father's probably out buying some more beer, meaning Sean's got plenty of time.

"Good… good…" Sean thought about that day. How good of a mood Daniel was in, and how bad of a mood he ended the day in. Sean also thought about the last few days. All the suffering his little brother's been through is because of the very person in front of him.

Brett Foster.

"What the fuck is your problem, dipshit? Get the fuck back to Mexico-" Yeah, fuck you.

Sean grabbed hold of Brett's throat and pushed him back into the house. In a state of shock, Brett tries to grab Sean's head, but Sean gives him a solid punch on the nose.

"You threatened my dad," Sean speaks with a frightening tone. Calm and collected, yet eerie and cold.

"You hurt my brother." Sean gives Brett another punch to the face. Blood starts to pour from a busted eyebrow.

"You humiliated him." Sean punches Brett again while maintaining his grip around Brett's throat.

"You broke him." Sean doesn't hit him but squeezes around his throat a little harder.

"Touch my brother again? And I will break you." Sean saw fear in Brett's eyes. He released his hold and stood up to leave the house. Behind him, Sean could hear how Brett coughed up blood.

"You- you're going to jail for this, fucker!" Brett hissed.

"Stay away from my family, Brett." The realization of his actions hit him like a ton of bricks. Sean left the house of Brett Foster in favor of his own.

He did not seek out his little brother. Sean did not speak to anyone. He locked himself in the bathroom for a very long time. Sean wondered as he saw the blood-red water go down the drain, what he just did. What has he become? Did he just stand up for his brother, or did he use his brother as an excuse to unleash his anger? Either way, one thing was certain, and as much as he feared it, he could not deny it.

This action would have grave consequences.

Notes:

Ok, so here's the thing. First off, on Monday, I'm going back to work because my vacation is over (heavy sigh). This means that updates will be less frequent compared to the last three weeks.

And second...

I feel like this story got off to a really good start, but now I'm pretty much writing chapter-by-chapter. I gotta figure out what the plan is to avoid it feeling repetitive and/or dull. Do not fear, however, because I refuse to abandon my work. I just don't want it to feel rushed.

Now, about Daniel's behavior in this chapter...

One of the "inspirations" for this fic, is my previous work Memories where I write about my own life with epilepsy. Around 2008-2010 somewhere, I had so many seizures that I just sat on the bed in my room, refusing food and water, and never left my room because "there's no point". I have exactly ZERO memory of that ever happening. ZERO! There are some notes though... scary shit. Needless to say, this one feels a bit personal.

Also, some might wonder why Sean just beat the shit out of Brett. Well, I kinda look at it like this...

Brett Foster: He wants nothing more than for the Diaz family to just go away. Preferably to be replaced by a hot blonde girl or some shit. He speaks a big game, but as far as action goes, he's a coward. Given the opportunity to have the Diaz family "removed" with the press of a button, Brett would take it as long as he wouldn't have to see their fate. He gets into fights, sure. But he's too much of a coward to seriously hurt someone. Still, that doesn't make him less of an asshole though.

Sean Diaz: Unlike Brett, Sean's not someone that speaks loudly. He keeps out of conflict whenever possible, just biting his tongue. You can say whatever you'd like to Sean, and he won't do a thing. His family, however, is holy. Hurt them, and he won't ever forgive you. Especially if you hurt his brother. He doesn't like violence but believes that a few rare people deserve it.

Ok, rant over. Please leave a comment below.

Enjoy!

K. S.

The beast.
Do not feed it.
For it shall grow.
That is what they tell you.

So...

You take the beast.
Put it in a cage.
And throw away the key.
No escape.

However...

The beast got hungrier.
And hungrier.
It starved.
You hoped it would die.

No...

The beast broke free.
Starving.
Waiting.
To be unleashed.

Chapter 9: The Dawn Of Daniel Diaz's Decline

Summary:

The devastating consequences of Sean's actions might be the beginning of the end...

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Diaz's residence…

Sean believed his younger brother did not see him. He hoped to spare Daniel the sight of his older brother covered in blood, and eyes that screamed panic. Sean thought he succeeded in doing so.

Well, he thought wrong.

Daniel heard his older brother as he came back inside. With his difficulties, Daniel did not know how long Sean was gone or where he had been. Still, he could recognize the face of fear when he saw it. And Sean, his older brother, was very afraid. But that's not all.

Daniel only saw him for a brief moment as he ran past the door to his room, locking himself in the bathroom. Blood. Did someone hurt Sean? Daniel's condition prevents him from realizing that it's likely to be the other way around. He believes Sean to be gravely injured and in need of help. Someone must do something.

"Please be ok, Sean. Please be ok, Sean." Daniel repeats to himself before leaving his room to search for his brother.

The bathroom door's open, and Sean's no longer there. Daniel turns his attention to the door in front of him. The boy takes a deep breath, calming himself. He could already feel it bubbling inside. The hallway he stood in, turning to the hallway at his school. Sean's door looked like the door to his wardrobe. The sound he heard inside, was it sobbing or laughing? He could not be sure.

"Focus, dude, focus. Stupid fucking brain, failing me when I need you the most… asshole." Daniel internally curses himself while attempting to breathe for a moment. Then, he enters the room.

The sight scares him. His older brother's cowering on the floor in the corner of the room. He's crying, and he's terrified. There's no doubt about it. Daniel can't put the pieces together. He's pretty sure that he wouldn't be able to do it in his normal state either. Sean never cries, and he's not afraid of anything. To Daniel, Sean's like a real-life superhero. Someone that knows the answer to all of his problems, and will always be there for him. Seeing his superhero broken like this is a scary sight to behold.

"Sean?" Daniel approached with caution. Something must have happened for him to act like this. His brother looks the other way.

"Can you just… sit down, Daniel? Please?" Sean's refusing to look at him, but the tone of his voice almost begs him to sit down. He didn't have to ask twice. Sitting down's the easy part for Daniel. Getting up, however, is a bitch. Then again, that's why Sean's his superhero. Well, part of it at least.

"Remember what the doctors told you to do when things got bad?" Sean's voice breaks as he turns to his brother.

"Yeah? Find my center, my happy place. Think of a place I feel safe at." Daniel had barely tried it since he had such a difficult time concentrating. Hell, that even applied to him before this shit.

"Think you can do that now, Enano? Something to make you feel safe?" Sean wrapped an arm around his younger brother. Both of them cried.

Sean cried in fear, anger, and disappointment. He felt disappointed in himself for letting his anger get the better of him. Sean's anger, however, may have been unleashed, but it is not gone. It spreads inside him like a disease. He wants Brett Foster dead. He could do it right now, and nobody would stop him. Fear, however, holds him back. Fear of the consequences his recent action would have, not just on him, but on Daniel as well.

Daniel cried in fear, confusion, and shock. He always thought Sean to be invulnerable, but now, he's broken. It sends the boy into a state of both shock and confusion at the same time. In the end, however, fear of the unknown is what prevails.

"Ok, Sean." Daniel whimpers silently before closing his eyes and leaning into his brother's arms.

"I just want you to know, Daniel… I didn't mean for this to happen." Sean whispers to his brother.

"I only tried to protect you." Sean held his little brother in his arms while tears poured down his face. In the distance, Sean could hear voices. He turns his attention to the window above him, only to immediately wish that he didn't.

The strong red and blue lights that flashed from the outside, all the way into his bedroom could only mean one thing. He fucked up. Sean sighs before looking down at his brother. Daniel's eyes are closed, and he looks so peaceful.

"I'm sorry, Daniel. I failed you again." Sean hugs his brother tightly while awaiting the inevitable.

Meanwhile…

Daniel had ignored his brother's silent whispers. He did hear them, of course, but he was too concentrated to give them a second thought. Right now, he didn't feel safe because Sean didn't feel safe. Daniel tried to imagine a safe and happy place for them both.

He imagined them both out on a camping trip. Massive trees surrounded them, the weather's perfect, and both of them are in a great mood. Daniel came to a halt at a large cliff, taking a moment to enjoy the view.

"HELLOOO DOWN THEEERE?!" Daniel puts his hands around his mouth and calls out but receives no response. He felt safe here. Nobody could hurt them here. He sits down with Sean on a bench nearby.

"This day's awesome, Sean! Thanks for taking me out here!" Daniel's having the time of his life. Sean, however, looks worried.

"Sean? Is… everything ok?" Sean sheds a lone tear before speaking silently while looking dead ahead.

"I have to go, Daniel. I'm sorry." Daniel was confused as Sean stood up and began walking away behind his back.

"Sean? What do you mean you have to go? Sean?" Daniel stood up, but when he looked behind him, Sean's nowhere to be seen.

"Sean?" Daniel runs around while screaming his brother's name. Nobody, however, returns his desperate call for help. Eventually, Daniel finds himself back on the edge of the cliff. Behind him, is nothing but trees. In front of him, is the edge of the horizon. All of it, containing nobody but himself. He's all alone now. The boy falls to his knees and lets out a painful howl.

"SEAN!" Something brought Daniel back to the real world. A sound. The doorbell perhaps? Either way, it didn't matter. He grabbed onto his brother for dear life, horrified by the nightmare his damaged mind cooked up for him.

"Sean. Please stay here. Don't go. Promise me. Promise me, you won't leave?" Sean felt a dagger through his heart. Odds are that the one ringing on their door isn't Jehovah's Witnesses or some kid that wants to sell cookies. No, this is far worse than that. Still, Sean values every second he can keep Daniel calm right now. No matter how much it hurts.

"Of course, Daniel. I promise you… I'm not going anywhere, Enano. You're my little brother, and I'll never leave you." How he managed to keep a steady voice, Sean would never understand. He let his younger brother cry on his shoulder while he did his best to ignore the doorbell.

Eventually, however, the doorbell went silent. Then, Sean heard slow footsteps. He closed his eyes.

"Fuck…" They're here.

"Clear." One voice said at the other end of the house. Sean heard someone enter Daniel's room.

"Clear." Then, someone entered the bathroom. Only seconds now.

"Clear." Sean heard the doorknob twist, and then, the door to his room opened.

A police officer enters the room while two others wait behind him with the door open. The officers kept their guns holstered.

"I'm gonna need you to come with me, sir." The officer tells Sean calmly. Sean nods in tears. Daniel still hasn't noticed anything.

"Ok, I- I will. Just, please- let me tell my brother. He's only nine, and- he's so sick. He won't understand. Please, let me tell him." Sean tries to beg for just a few minutes to tell Daniel what's about to happen and why. The officer, however, was in no mood.

"Sir, put the child down NOW, and put your hands behind your head!" The loud voice caught Daniel's attention. The boy turned around to look at the police officer that screamed at his brother.

"Sean? What's happening?" Daniel looks at Sean in confusion, not having the slightest clue as to what's going on.

This.

This is where things got out of hand.

"Daniel, I- I have to tell you something, ok?" Sean panicked and wanted to explain everything to Daniel as fast as possible.

"Let go of the child, NOW!" Within less than a second, Sean had three guns pointed at him, all of them thinking that he was a threat to his brother. Sean's body froze with fear. Needless to say, Daniel's even more terrified.

"Sean- whu- whe-" The stress of the moment stops him from speaking whatever words he meant to say. Out of habit, Sean hugs him tightly. This only provokes the officers even more.

"Don't worry, Enano. Everything's gonna be fine." What the fuck did he just say?

"I said… LET GO!" The closest officer roars while grabbing Daniel's arm and pulling him away from his older brother. Away from safety. Daniel landed on his back, unharmed, but afraid.

"What the fuck's wrong with you?! Don't touch my brother!" Sean shouts at the officer, completely losing his cool.

"Sean, I'm- I'm scared." Daniel whimpered while desperately attempting to get to his feet. He felt so helpless and so useless. All he could do was watch.

"Don't you fucking talk to me like that, boy!" Daniel felt the anger in his gut while watching his brother on the receiving end of a punch to the face. He tried to crawl towards Sean. For what purpose, he did not know. He could not help him, and he knew it. But Daniel would rather die trying than just lay there and watch. He gathered whatever strength remained in his crippled body, only to realize that it was already too late. The police officer pulled Sean to his feet while proceeding to cuff him.

"No. Sean…?" Daniel pleads to his brother as if it would make a difference. Sean could do nothing but look at his crying little brother as he lay on the floor.

"Sorry, Daniel. I'm so sorry." Sean said it with the best intentions. The officers, however, believed otherwise.

"ENOUGH! SHUT UP!" Sean receives a punch in the gut, falling to his knees as a result. The officers grabbed his arms and proceeded to drag him towards the exit. Daniel felt like he has just seen his brother for the last time in any of their lives.

It was in this moment, when all hope had faded, that something awoke inside Daniel Diaz.

Is this how it ends for them? Separated without even putting up a fight? Sean has done everything for him over the past months. He's sacrificed so much just to keep Daniel safe, and to be around him. And how does Daniel repay him?

He gives up, just like that. Daniel accepts their immediate defeat without question, and without a fight. Sean would have died to protect Daniel, but Daniel would rather die than go after Sean.

No.

NO!

NO!

He won't give up. He can't give up. Sean needs him now more than ever. Daniel bites down hard, ignoring the pain in his legs, the dizzy feeling in his head, and focused on one thing only. Getting the fuck up.

"Come on…" Large beads of sweat poured down his face as he attempted to get to his feet.

"Come on you pathetic… fucking… brat! Get the fuck… up!" There. It felt like he just ran a marathon, but he did it. No time to celebrate, however, since the cops just left the house with Sean. He's not sure how he's going to help him. The boy cannot think clearly. His one focus is to get to Sean. Daniel didn't think, he just did.

He ran. Unsteady, on what felt like an ice rink, but still, he ran. Every step broke his frail body slightly more than the last. Daniel, however, felt no pain. He could not afford it. He could see his target in front of him, right there.

Sean.

"SEAN!" Daniel collapsed in front of his brother due to pain and exhaustion. He fell to his knees but grabbed hold of Sean's leg as if his life depended on it. Maybe it did?

"Daniel, shit." Sean's speechless. For Daniel to move the way he just did, it would take something more than just fear for that to happen.

Like heartbreak.

"You promised me, Sean. Don't go." Daniel pleads, and he begs, knowing it to be pointless.

"I know, Enano. I know…" Sean cries while looking at his defeated brother.

"Ok, kid, that's enough. Let go, alright?" One of the officers tried to talk Daniel into letting Sean go. But he knew that doing so would mean that Sean was gone. Perhaps forever. He can't let go.

"No. I won't let go. You promised, Sean!" Daniel shouts in panic while refusing to let go.

"Enano-" It breaks Sean to see his brother like this, but it broke Daniel even more.

"NO! You promised, Sean! You promised, you promised, you promised!" Daniel screamed in pain as he felt the iron grip around his brother's leg fade away.

The brothers are separated. Daniel forced himself to get up to his knees, only to see his brother inside a police car. Sean looked at him, eyes red with tears as the car began to drive away. Once again, Daniel pushed his body to the limit as he desperately tried to catch up with the car.

However…

Daniel pushed himself, not to the limit, not even over it. He pushed himself through the limit and beyond. It worked for him the first time. The second time, however, was not the charm.

Without warning, Daniel's body just… fell apart. His legs refused to hold him, his feet could no longer lift themselves in the air, and his lungs could barely supply his body with oxygen. The boy crumbled onto the hard asphalt, landing face-first with an audible crack emanating from the nose region. The pain was unlike anything he'd ever experienced before in his short life. Still, it felt like nothing when compared to the pain in his heart.

With great difficulty, Daniel managed to lift his head. He looked at the horizon, watching as his brother disappeared forever.

"You promised, Sean… you promised." Daniel's attention moves to the person standing on the porch next door.

Brett Foster.

He's battered and bruised, but he stands there, watching with his arms crossed. The moment he realized that Daniel saw him, the smile on his lips grew wider and wider. As a final reminder to not cross his path again, Brett gives Daniel the finger, identical to the way Daniel had done it on that day. Then he steps inside, leaving Daniel to his fate.

Notes:

Slowly, things are falling into place. Or if your name is Daniel, things fall apart.

In this chapter, I picture something similar to the Redemption ending when Daniel runs after Sean. Exceåt this one is a lot more painful in various ways. The story will do a shorter time jump soon, however, that may be one or two chapters in the future.

The way things look now, Brett Foster got the last laugh...

Feel free to leave a comment below.

Enjoy!

K. S.

He promised you.
Not to leave.
Always be there.
Never hurt you.

He swore an oath.
To protect you.
To be at your side.
No matter what.

He failed you.

He lied to you.
Because he left.
He is no longer there.
And it hurts you.
He hurt you.

A sworn oath.
Is now broken.
With nobody at your side.
How long?

How long before the little wolf is put out of his misery?

Chapter 10: A Broken Boy

Summary:

Without Sean by his side, how will Daniel cope?

Notes:

I apologize for the long wait, I'll explain the reason in the end notes.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

A few weeks later…

Less than a month has passed since the incident with Brett that saw cops drag his older brother away. Barely thirty days and thirty nights have come and gone since that dreadful moment.

Still, so much had changed.

With Sean in juvie awaiting assault trial, Daniel's left alone most of the day. Lyla could no longer take care of him and decided to distance herself from the Diaz family in hopes of minimizing her pain. Esteban wanted to take care of his youngest son, however, he's the only one in the family with an income. Without him working, they would be out on the streets within a month.

Luckily, Esteban did most of his work in the garage downstairs, meaning he wasn't far away. He checked on Daniel every hour or so, making sure that everything was alright. That might sound good on paper, sure. There's just one small problem.

Esteban's not Sean.

Daniel loved his father and trusted him with his life, however, that's as far as it gets. He doesn't have the same deep connection with his father that he's got with Sean. The wolfbrothers share everything. Good and bad, laughter and tears, dreams and nightmares. Now, his fellow wolfbrother has disappeared without a trace.

Daniel can't remember what happened that day. Perhaps his brain put those memories in a box, only to throw away the key? Then again, he knows that there are far more foul things at work. He still has nightmares about it. About that one thing, he remembers from that day.

"Sean, no, come back!" A dream where he runs towards his brother, and when he's almost caught up with him, he falls. A loud cracking sound wakes him up. Every time it happens, Daniel removes the covers in panic, attempting to confirm that it was all just a dream.

The result is always the same.

It was no dream. Not only was his brain rotting away, but now his body was also broken. He ran after his brother, idol, guardian, and protector. Daniel ran after Sean, but his fragile mind could barely tell his legs how to move the right way. The result was catastrophic. Daniel dislocated his right kneecap, to the point where it almost tore the ligament right off the bone. A normal and healthy child would be lucky to avoid surgery, but still, be in extreme pain.

Daniel Felipe Diaz is just like any average nine-year-old boy. He is, however, anything but healthy.

His condition had considerably lowered his threshold for pain, making Daniel much more sensitive as far as physical pain went. The events leading up to his injury confused the mind of the young wolf and made him lash out at those who tried to help him. In the end, Daniel did not need surgery. That, however, didn't mean he could just walk out of the hospital.

On the contrary, it is unlikely the little cub will ever walk again.

His injured knee would heal, sure, but the damage is already done. Daniel had enough difficulty walking before he hurt himself. By the time he's healed, his body would have deteriorated even further, making this as close to a death sentence as anything could be.

He didn't care.

The day his brother left, is the day Daniel lost his will to live. And now, he just wants this bullshit over and dealt with. He lays in his bed all day long, not because he wants to, but because he can't get up on his own. At least his father brought the television into his room. That way, Daniel won't lose his mind… further.

"Sean? Sean?! Could you come in here, please?" Daniel calls for his brother, yet to realize that he's not there.

"You left me, Sean. Why? I trusted you…" Daniel can't remember why his brother's gone. To him, Sean just left without saying goodbye. It doesn't make sense, then again, few things ever did to him these days. Daniel grabs a pen and his sketchbook from the table to his side in an attempt to distract himself. The boy's hand trembles as he writes.

"Hi, Sean. You promised me. You swore that you would never leave. But you did. Why? I'm scared, Sean. I don't know what's happening to me. I don't feel like Daniel anymore, and I hate it. Please, Sean, come back home." Daniel paused to take a look at his writing. The second he did, tears began pouring down his face.

A month ago, it would look something like this.

The letter "B" was replaced by the number "8".

The letter "S" was replaced by a "$".

And so on. It took a bit of work, but everyone could read what he wrote.

Could. Everyone could read what he wrote. That was then. What Daniel just put on paper was not letters, numbers, or symbols. It was just a massive blur of unreadable lines of a clusterfuck. He had the words in his head, and he felt like he wrote them correctly. Except that he didn't. He didn't because he couldn't.

"No. What's haff-" The slurred speech makes itself known yet again, causing Daniel to stop mid-sentence. The tears, however, continued to pour. Only a few seconds go by before Daniel grabs the pencil once again.

"No. Nothing's wrong with me. I'm Daniel. I'm still Daniel Felipe fucking Diaz. I can do whatever I want!" Daniel tries to encourage himself from within. He flips through the pages of the sketchbook as if he's looking for something. Inspiration, perhaps?

He tried to ignore what he saw so clearly before him. The quality of his drawings started as bad on the first few pages. Then, after a while, they ranked up to decent, only to improve to good even further. Around the time of the accident, his drawings became great.

He should've stopped flipping the pages after that.

It was like a backward development. It starts as great, then becomes good, then decent, and finally, bad. The decline in Daniel's drawing cannot be denied. Still, it doesn't keep him from trying. Sean's not with him anymore, maybe he can draw a Sean of his own? Like a protector of sorts. He gives it a shot, using only his memory as a reference. Daniel's memory, however, is failing, and he trembles beyond his control.

Many hours later, Daniel looks at the final result. The tribute he made to his lost wolfbrother. A creation intended to keep him safe and provide him with comfort when he needed it the most. Daniel looks at the drawing of his older brother Sean.

At least that's who it's supposed to be. Daniel's not even sure if that's a "who". It looks more like a "what" if anything. He used to be so good at this. Hell, he used to be great. Now, he's lost the ability to do the one thing he truly excelled at. It should hurt. More than anything, this should break him. Daniel, however, feels no dagger in his heart as he studies the demon spawn he just created. Instead, the boy turns the page over. Then, he takes his time, making sure that the words actually come out this time. The boy writes on the back.

"Why can't I do it anymore?" Then, Daniel closed his sketchbook for what was likely to be the last time. He looked at the half-eaten meal on the table. He didn't feel hungry these days. And even if he did, what's the point? You eat in order to stay alive, correct? And you stay alive, so you can enjoy life. Well, Daniel can't enjoy life. He can't enjoy anything. And if you can't enjoy being alive, what's the point in staying that way?

Alive, that is?

"Fuck…" Daniel shook his head, attempting to purge himself of these disturbing thoughts. They came to him more and more nowadays. He didn't want to admit it, but sometimes, he felt like he wanted to listen to them. Like he didn't want to be alive anymore. Daniel never acted on these thoughts but felt like they were becoming harder and harder to get rid of. He tries to distract himself with the television. These days, that's easier said than done.

"Stupid news," Daniel mumbles while accepting that they no longer have a Netflix subscription. Instead of laughing at Hawt-Dawg-Man's latest adventures, Daniel bores himself to death while listening to country whateverthefuck going to war with country danielneverheardthenameofitsofuckit.

Sigh…

At first, Daniel thought it to be a sign of fatigue. Like most of the time, the boy shook his head, expecting things to return to what they were.

They did not.

The boy shook his head once more, and the issue remained nonetheless.

The helpless little wolf cub looks around the room as if scanning for an escape route. But he knew, deep down, that he couldn't escape from this.

The boy turned his attention back towards the television, and just let it happen. The words on the broadcast slowly began to melt into a single nonsensical sound. It was horrible. Daniel could hear everything like he normally would, but it was as if his mind simply didn't know how to process the information at hand. It became too much, and within seconds, it sounded like a completely different language to Daniel. The person on the television spoke English, that much he knew. A part of him could kinda hear it too.

He just couldn't understand it. Not a god-damn thing.

The young wolf cries. Silent, heartbreaking sobs out of fear and desperation. He's not sure what he did in a past life to deserve such a cruel fate as the one he's suffering right now, but he knows one thing. Whatever he did, it was bad. Perhaps this is his punishment? The punishment of Daniel Diaz is to die alone and empty in both mind, body, and soul. If that is his destiny…

It won't be much longer before it is fulfilled.

Notes:

First, I want to apologize for the long wait between chapters. This was not my intent, however, the last two weeks have been... complicated, putting it mildly.

1. Vacation's over for me, but not 33% of the staff. Also, 33% of the other staff was sick. I went from 0-250 overnight and nearly crashed.

2. One week ago, I got to work, discovering that someone broke in during the night. Stupid junkies stole my camera (270$).

3. Three days ago, I had this one incident where I had to call security on a customer and then sue him for threat/harassment.

Rough two weeks after vacation indeed which is I haven't been able to write anything.

The chapters will most likely be shorter for this fic going forward since I value quality over quantity. Here we see the effects that Sean's absence has on his younger brother, and we see it from Daniel's POV. He's afraid of what's happening to him, and because he feels alone. He can't quite remember why Sean's gone, but I will dig deeper into that later on.

A few things worth noticing...

The way Daniel "hears" words while his brain is not really "processing" them? That's kinda what it's like for me when I'm having small epileptic "twitches". It's difficult to explain, but I can hear everything around me, but I just can't understand it... kinda.

The part with Daniel's drawings is kinda personal. My grandfather had a super-rare disease called "Creutzfeldt-Jacobs Disease" or just "CJD" for short. Basically, it melts your brain and kills you within a year MAX. Sadly, I never met him. Among other things, he was an artist. I remember when my grandmother passed and we found an old box filled with drawings he made. Portraits. Life-like stuff. All of them were signed and had a year and date.

Then, the closer you got to the year that he passed, the more you saw how the quality began to decline. Then, at the very bottom, an unfinished drawing without a date. On the backside, he had written "Why can't I do it anymore?" So... yeah. That was sad.

The way Daniel wonders about what he did in a previous life to deserve this fate is also something I did myself many years back when my Epilepsy was at its very worst.

Now, feel free to leave a comment below.

Enjoy!

K. S.

Your mind.
Deteriorating.
Evaporating.
Disappearing.

Your body.
Broken.
Fragile.
Useless.

Your soul.
Murdered.
By mind.
And body.

You.
Alone.
Empty.
A shell of your former self.
Enano.

Enano?
He is dead.
This.
This is what remains.

Chapter 11: The Visitor

Summary:

Sean screwed up big time and he knows it. He may never see Daniel again. Unless a miracle happens...

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

King County Juvenile Detention Center — Seattle, Washington…

"What the fuck have I done?" Sean asked himself for the millionth time, receiving the same silence in return. There's making a mistake, then there's screwing up, and finally, there's fucking up big time.

Then, of course, there's Sean Diaz.

The magnitude of his colossal fuckup cannot be put into words. He might as well have put a gun to his brother's forehead, looked him in the eyes, and pulled the trigger. That way, Daniel would be spared the pain at least. But no. Sean did this. Sean did what Sean always does best. He puts his little brother through more pain. Like that boy hasn't suffered enough already.

Sean doesn't want to admit it, but he knows how dark the truth is. The day he walks out of this place, Daniel might not exist anymore. Just thinking about it brings tears to his eyes. Hell, it makes his heart ache. Still, he did this. Sean did this. To himself, and Daniel. He shouldn't cry over it. He has no right to do so. Sean's here now, and he ain't leaving for quite a while.

Six months in a juvenile detention facility for assault. Sean's grandparents had provided him with an expensive lawyer they were somewhat familiar with. A true dickhead if Sean were to be asked. Upon hearing the verdict, Sean's lawyer breathed a sigh of relief.

Relief?!

Like six months would be a good thing. Brett's family tried in desperation to get Sean charged with attempted murder but to no avail. Some would say that Sean should consider himself lucky. He didn't feel lucky. Six months, six years, or sixty years. It didn't matter. His brother might not have those six months.

He's stuck here. Stuck, and branded a criminal for life. The other inmates scare him, the guards scare him, and fucking everything scares him to death. He feels alone, abandoned, and lost. Not even Lyla visits him here. His father came once after the trial. Sean could see how broken he was. Thick plexiglass separated the teenager from his parent during the conversation. A very silent one. Neither of them said a word for several minutes. Eventually, however, Sean gathered enough courage to ask the one question he had to.

"How's Daniel?" A mere whisper that almost hinted toward the fact that Sean didn't want to know the answer to his question. His father sighed deeply.

"He needs his big brother." At the time, those five words felt more painful than anything Sean had heard before in his life. That is until he heard the next words from his father.

"I'm so disappointed in you, Sean." With tears in his eyes, Esteban stood up and left the room before Sean had a chance to respond.

"I'm so disappointed in you." The one sentence every child fears that they one day shall hear from their parent. Sean couldn't even cry. Tears wouldn't do it justice.

Since that day, he has yet to see his father. As of now, that's a little over a month ago. Over a month has passed since he saw his little brother. Sean chuckled slightly when he realized it at first. This is the longest time he's been away from Daniel since he was born. He cares about him so much, that it took prison to separate them for more than thirty days in a row. Sean almost considers it comical… almost.

But his situation is no laughing matter. While Sean's in prison doing his best not to piss off anyone, Daniel's rapidly deteriorating at home. Sure, Sean's heard jack-shit from home for a month, but it feels like a safe bet. Although he'd love to be wrong on this one.

"Fuck!" Sean shouts while slamming his fist into the wall of his cell. Too much trauma, and too much bullshit. He can't deal with it.

"HEY! Calm the fuck down in there, Diaz!" A guard roars in his direction, seemingly hell-bent on beating the shit out of him if Sean gives him a reason.

"I'm sorry." Sean struggled but managed to give the guard a somewhat decent apology.

"I'm sorry, I didn't catch that, boy?!" Fuck you. Just, fuck you. This is humiliating.

"I'm sorry, sir." Sean secretly wished the guard a painful death.

"That's better." The guard gives him one last look of disgust before returning to his coffee. Sean collapses into a corner, silently wondering how he's going to pull this off. One month is done, five to go. He's not going to make it. Sean's uncertain if it's him, Daniel, or both that won't make it. At least in Sean's case, there was a second option.

Bail.

The court had taken Sean's age into account as well as a nonexistent rap sheet. Add the factor of the sick little brother, and the court wanted to play nice with him. Sean Eduardo Diaz could walk out of prison if he paid the money for bail. So, why is he still here?

The bail is set to 25 000 dollars.

Like a final fuck you from Brett and his lawyer. Sean doesn't have that kind of money, and all of his father's earnings go to Daniel's medical care which is more than understandable at this point. It felt like an insult. Sean desperately tried to think of someone he could call. An old friend or whatever, to get them to bail him out of jail. He came up with nothing. The only name he came up with was his grandparents, and they couldn't afford it.

Sean Diaz walking free on bail seems like a distant dream in this nightmare.

"I'm so sorry, Daniel. I failed you. I failed you again and I'm sorry." He tried his best, and it still wasn't enough. Sean believed he stood up for his younger brother when all he did, was torture him even more. He might be close to an adult, but right now, Sean Diaz feels very small.

"Hey, Diaz! Get up!" The asshole guard screams his name, telling him to get up. What did he do this time? It doesn't matter. Sean gets to his feet.

"You have a visitor. Come with me." A loud buzzing noise filled the cellblock as his door opened. Without question, Sean followed the guard.

A visitor.

Someone actually came here to see him? To see Sean? One half of his brain is terrified that his father will await him in there, letting him know that his Enano has passed away. The other half of Sean feels excited, and- almost loved. Almost. Grandparents, Lyla, it could be anyone. Hell, maybe Daniel's having a good day and wants to see his brother? Few things would surprise him these days.

"Ok, kid. You remember the rules?" The guard asks him outside the room.

"I got twenty minutes. Use the phone to talk, and don't touch the glass." Like he didn't know that before he got in here.

"Ok, good." The guard opens the door, allowing Sean to enter the room. A bright white room, almost empty of contents. A lone chair bolted to the floor. An old telephone, and a table, also white. Then, of course, there's the plexiglass. The only thing separating Sean from his yet-to-arrive visitor on the other side. Sean sits down on the chair, wishing it was a bit more comfortable. Nobody's here. They're messing with him. It's all just a joke, just like Sean himself. Why him? He just wanted a friend to talk to. Someone to vent to for a while, but no, he can't even get that. Sean never gets anything-

The door on the other side opened.

Sean had yet to see the person in question but felt chills down his entire spine for reasons he could not explain. He could see movement on the other side of the plexiglass but felt afraid to look. Still, he forced himself to do so. And when he did, he immediately regretted it.

His grandparents visiting him would have felt pleasant. Lyla visiting him would have felt therapeutic. His father visiting him would have felt horrible in so many ways. Daniel visiting him would have felt wholesome and horrible, both at the same time.

Sean, however, did not expect this.

What exactly is this?

This is worse than his crying father telling Sean that he's disappointed in him. It's worse than Lyla's silent decision to distance herself from him. Hell, it's even worse than learning of Daniel's demise while in prison. The person on the other side sits down and grabs the phone on one end.

Sean felt stuck. Is this a sick dream? It must be because… that would not return. And yet, there it is, patiently awaiting Sean to grab the phone on his end. Sean reached for the phone slowly. His entire body trembled, and he could barely breathe. Everything inside of him. Emotions that he locked away years ago now bubbled up to the surface. With the phone in both hands to avoid dropping it, Sean turns to face the person on the other side of the glass.

The person, however, spoke first.

"It's been a long time, Sean." A female voice spoke to him in a sad tone. Still, it didn't necessarily have to mean that she was sad. That's just how she sounds. Sean recognized her voice immediately. Eight years or not, he never forgot her. For better or worse.

"Mom…?" In his mind, Sean screamed the name "Karen" at the woman in front of him. The phrase "mom" hasn't existed in his vocabulary in years. She's dead to him. It did not sound that way when the word came out. A silent whimper that few could hear. The silent plea of an eight-year-old boy who never understood why his mommy left.

Sean wanted to rage, he wanted to scream, and he wanted to show her why he was in prison in the first place. He wanted nothing to do with that treacherous bitch. Sean wants to let her know, just how pathetic she is, and how much he hates her. That's what he wants to do.

However…

All Sean could do was cry. With his mother absent, Sean had to grow up fast in order to take care of his little brother. Sean Eduardo Diaz's age went from eight to sixteen overnight. With his mother in front of him again, the eight-year-old temporarily returned, making Sean a sensitive little boy yet again. He tried to make sense of the situation but came up empty. In the end, Sean cried while pressing the phone to his ear. On the other end, his mother whispered words of comfort to him.

"It's going to be ok, my son. It's going to be ok."

Notes:

Enter the Karen Reynolds, I guess. Don't worry, she won't be a cult leader or sell her kids to African warlords in this fic... I think.

This chapter focused on Sean, and his thoughts while in prison. Obviously, there would be many guilt trips since Sean we're talking about here. Then there's Esteban telling Sean that he's disappointed in him which hurts him even more than his father being angry.

The next chapter will have more interaction between Sean and his mother. Remember: Daniel really wants to see her, but Sean despises her for obvious reasons.

Well, feel free to leave a comment down below.

Enjoy!

K. S.

The wolf.
An inmate.
Trapped.
In cage.
And mind equally.

The cub.
A prisoner.
In his room.
In his head.
In his body.

The inmate.
He can escape.
For a prize, of course.
The brand shall remain nonetheless.
Once an inmate.
Always an inmate.

The prisoner.
He cannot escape.
No price for his freedom.
Where he is now.
He shall stay.
Until the time comes.

I forgive you, mother, I can hear you.
And I long to be near you.
But every road leads to an end.
Yes every road leads to an end.
And we all know how this will end.

Chapter 12: Mother

Summary:

Sean reunites with his mother after eight years. Has time healed his wounds or infected his entire body like a disease?

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

"Alright, Diaz, time's up! Back to your cell!" A guard enters the room, snapping Sean out of his trance. For the past fifteen minutes, he's leaned his head on the table in front of him while listening to his mother's comforting words. Now, he quickly got up, expecting his mother to be gone. It's who she is.

Or at least, who she used to be. Karen Reynolds remains on the other side of the plexiglass, trying to hide the fact that she's been crying the whole time.

"Don't leave me, mom. Please?" Sean whimpers into the phone. Once again, this is Sean the child speaking the words his teenage counterpart would never dare to.

"I won't leave you again, Sean," Karen told him firmly before Sean got up and went with the guard. He felt empty. Like he didn't know what to make of everything. Did that just happen? Wait, why is he even asking himself such a dumb question?

No.

It didn't happen.

She left. Karen ditched Sean, abandoned her baby Daniel, and she dumped her husband Esteban. All in one night. No signs of it ever happening before. And since the day it did, not a letter, no postcard, no email, no phone calls, not a fucking sign of life. Until now.

Fuck…

It was real.

Sean can't deny it. He wants to, and god only knows that he tries to, but he can't. Karen Reynolds is back. But why did she come back? Why now, after all these years? Sean desperately tries to wrap his head around it, but can't seem to think straight these days. Six months ago, he was a normal teenager, enjoying a normal teenage life, and had a normal little brother and a loving father.

Now? He's in prison, and his father's working himself to death to pay for his little brother's medical bills which Sean in turn caused. His estranged mother returning out of nowhere didn't exactly make things easier.

"What the fuck is happening with my life?" Sean whispered in his loneliness. Seeing his mother felt good. He didn't want to admit it to himself, but there's just no denying it. For years, Sean had awaited the day when he would be able to say to his mother's face exactly what he thinks of her. Today was that day.

And he didn't do it. Hell, he didn't even think of it. It only took a minute before all his anger had evaporated into nothing. Still, her return had served exactly zero purpose in the end. Just like her. It only screwed him up even more. Sean shook his head with a sigh.

"Fuck. Get your head together, man." He looks around his cell, trying to find something to get his mind off this mess. Luckily, Sean's allowed to have a pen and some papers in his cell. He takes a stack of paper intending to draw something. His surroundings, however, aren't very inspiring. Instead, Sean begins to write. He writes a letter, knowing that the person he writes to can never read it.

"Hey, Daniel. I'm sorry for everything. You've been the best little brother I could ever ask for. But I couldn't return the favor, I guess. It's my fault you hurt yourself that day. Everything, Daniel, is my fucking (nope, I shouldn't teach you to swear, bro) fault. I don't know how you feel right now, or if you're angry at me (I would be), but I never meant to hurt you, Daniel. I love you, Enano. Please, don't go."

Sean cries and his hand trembles as he writes his apology to Daniel. He's interrupted, however, by a loud, buzzing sound, and the door to his cell opening.

"Huh? What the-" Sean looks at the clock on the wall. This is the time of day when he's supposed to be locked inside his cell and do jack-shit. Why did his door just open? The asshole of a guard approaches him, so he's about to find out.

"Sean Eduardo Diaz?" The guard addressed him in a much more formal tone than usual. Sean quickly stood up to avoid pissing him off.

"Yeah?" Shit. Sean forgot to add the "sir" part. He's bound to have pissed him off yet again. Sean cries internally while he awaits the inevitable scolding.

"Someone paid your bail, so you're free to go. Come with me." Sean breathes a sigh of relief. He didn't piss him off, so that's a good thing. Also, someone bailed him out, meaning he's-

WAIT?!

What did he just say? Sean's free to go? No, that can't be true. Then again, he did ask him if his name was Sean Eduardo Diaz. What the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuuuck?!

"What- I don't… what?" Sean mumbles words of confusion and complete nonsense. He can't even begin to make sense of the situation right now.

"Come with me, kid, it's alright. Unless you'd rather stay, of course?" Fuck no. Sean's got zero intention of staying in this godforsaken place any longer than he has to. He takes a look at the letter of apology he just wrote to Daniel. Sean reaches out to grab it, only to stop halfway there. He just realized what all this meant.

He can apologize to Daniel in person. With a joyful tear in his eye, Sean leaves the letter on the table where it belongs. Locked inside a cage. He then turns to the guard.

"Ok. I think I'm ready." Sean said silently before he followed the guard towards freedom.

About an hour later, Sean stood inside a small dressing room of sorts. For the first time in over a month, he could take a shower in private. You don't know how much you appreciate the small things in life until you get them taken away. He got to see himself in a mirror for the first time since he got here. No mirrors are allowed inside a prison cell for obvious reasons.

Damn. He almost got a beard. Ok, not quite, but still… damn. Sean picks up the razor and does not let go until he could recognize himself in the mirror. Finally, he looks at his clothes. On the floor lays the orange jumpsuit he's been wearing in prison. Sean walks around it, carefully avoiding touching the fabric. He then opens a plastic bag with neatly folded clothes.

The very same clothes he wore on the day he got arrested. They haven't been cleaned, but Sean couldn't care less. This was home. He puts on his T-shirt and pants but stops when he grabs his wolf hoodie. It reeks of sweat, pot, dirt, dust, and god only knows what else. But Sean thought of something else. Something he couldn't see or smell.

Tears.

Or, to be precise, Daniel's tears. His little brother cried into this hoodie moments before Sean got arrested. He did it because Sean had failed him. Can Sean make things right, or is it too late for apologies? Well, there's only one way to find out.

"I'm coming home, Enano," Sean says before putting on the hoodie and leaving the room.

A guard walked Sean through a long hallway. For a moment, Sean almost expected the guard to call out "dead man walking down the green mile" or some other weird shit. These days, he should expect the unexpected. They arrive at a door. The door in question isn't large, however, it's definitely thick and heavy. It almost looks like the door to an old bomb shelter. The familiar buzzer rings yet again, and the guard turns to Sean.

"This is how it will happen. You walk through that door, and it will close. Two minutes later, a door on the other side will open, and you will be free. Understand?" No.

"Yeah." Fuck.

Sean walks through the door, not knowing what to expect. The door slams shut behind him within less than a second. He now stands in a hallway about the same size as the one he just walked through. Sean, however, feels claustrophobic. He can't breathe, and he can't move. The surrounding space seems to be shrinking.

"Shit. Hasn't it been two minutes already?" Sean wondered while attempting to remain calm. The world starts spinning in circles around him, faster and faster. He feels sick. He's not getting out of here, is he? It's just a sick joke. This is the gas chamber. What he feels now isn't a panic attack. It's the gas, entering his nervous system and killing him.

Then, Sean saw the light. A light at the end of the tunnel. His pulse began to slow down. Sean could hear birds and cars, and he felt the wind blowing at him from a distance. This meant one out of two things. Either he's dead, or…

He's officially free.

On wobbly legs, Sean Eduardo Diaz walked towards the light.

Then, he walked through it.

And then… he was free.

It's as interesting as it was shocking. At the age of thirteen, Sean broke his leg and couldn't leave the house for a month due to the pain it caused him. On his first day outside, he couldn't care less about the fact that he was outside. After one month in prison, however, things are very different.

Sean looked at the sky, letting the sun blind him for a few seconds. He closed his eyes to enjoy the seagulls that squeaked all around the area. Unlike before, he did not find them annoying. Sean focused on the smell of freedom. It smelled like grass, exhaust fumes, and-

Cigarette smoke?

"Hello again, Sean. It's good to see you in freedom." Shit.

SHIT!

Shit-fuck-damn-it-to-hell-son-of-a-bitch-and-fuck-once-more!

Amid everything, Sean had forgotten about the fact that for him to walk free, someone had to pay 25 000 dollars. In a way, Sean probably knew from the start that she had something to do with it. Perhaps that's why he didn't think about it. And now, here he stands. Face-to-face with his mother for the first time since he was eight. No plexiglass separates them this time.

"Mom?" Sean said in disbelief, almost expecting her to go up in flames at any given moment. Instead, Karen remains still while smoking her cigarette. One half of Sean wants to scream at her. He wants to call her all kinds of terrible names for leaving him all those years ago when he needed her the most. Hell, he almost wants to strangle her right here and now.

His other half, however, is the triumphant one. Here, Sean looks at his mother. He looks at the woman he's spent so much time hating, scolding, despising, cursing, and condemning. Sean looks at her, and he sees only one thing.

Himself.

It felt like looking into a mirror. Sean saw a person with low self-esteem, uncertain of her place in the world, not to mention her future. A person that carried a great deal of pain that few if any could ever understand. And if Sean's mother is anything like Sean himself, she wouldn't do this without some kind of reason. Sean bites down hard, forcing himself to remain calm, and keeping his inner beast on a leash. Slowly, Sean walks over to stand next to his mother. Just being this close to her again felt strange. Eventually, Sean begins to relax as he slightly leans against her car.

"Can I have one?" Sean pointed at the cigarette. He hated asking her, but one month in prison made him desperate for his daily dosage of nicotine.

"You shouldn't smoke, Sean." Karen chose her words with great care. Still, the tone of her voice along with her hand shoving the package in her purse made it clear. This is what she worries about. Out of all things? It pissed Sean off beyond this world.

"You didn't come back when I broke my leg and had to spend a month indoors because I was in too much pain. No, Karen, you didn't come back to help your oldest son get through his pain. And you didn't come back when Daniel- remember him, Karen?" Sean wants to scream, and he tries to scream, but he can only whimper.

"You didn't come back when Daniel hurt himself. You didn't support him, and you didn't see his decline every single day. You didn't because you didn't come back. But now, when I'm in prison? This is when you decide to come back into my life, cough up twenty-five grand to bail me out, only to lecture me about the dangers of FUCKING SMOKING?!" Sean meant every word he said. All of it was facts and not just his opinions. Still, it didn't feel right to say it. Thanks to her, Sean's out of jail. He would still be in there if she didn't show up.

Fuck.

"Fair enough, Sean. Here." Wait, what? Sean expected many reactions to his outburst, but that was not one of them. Still, he got his cigarette, so he ain't complaining.

"Thanks, and… sorry," Sean mumbles while enjoying the sweet nicotine rush. Karen, however, shook her head.

"No, Sean. You shouldn't apologize. Everything you told me was true. Including the part where I bailed you out. I just had to see you at the prison first to at least somewhat prepare you. Just bailing you out and standing here would be a bit much, don't you think?" Karen explained to him.

"Yeah, no shit?" While he's managed to calm down, Sean still feels uncomfortable around his mother. She might be eerily similar to himself, but she still abandoned him. And that left an open wound in his heart forever.

"Sean?" Karen sighed while putting out her cigarette.

"I know you want to go home, and I won't stop you. But, I did come here for a reason, and that's why I think we should talk first." Sean froze. The kind of chill that went through his body right now, could only be compared with the fear he felt on the day of the accident.

A crossroads. He cannot go back, for the past is the past. Sean cannot go forward because the way forward is blocked. The way is blocked by an obstacle named Karen Reynolds. Sean can go left, or he can go right.

The left path would be the easiest route to take. Tell Karen to fuck off before walking away and pretending like this never happened. Talking to her might be something that Sean can't do, as in can't do at all due to the trauma it would bring up. The downside, however, is that Sean would struggle to explain how exactly he got out of prison. His father would demand to know, and he can never lie to his father. Also, Daniel can never know about it. He would never forgive Sean. Then again, Daniel can be fooled.

The right path is not only right in direction, but also morality. Sean would have the talk with his mother that he knows that he so desperately needs to have. He must know why she left, once and for all. It would not be easy though. Tears, pain, and a lot of hurt. Could Sean really do it? It would be a decent start as a means to pay off his brotherly debt to Daniel. The boy would meet his mother for the first time in his life. That alone might just be worth it.

"Ok, let's talk." Sean decides to take the right path. Upon hearing the words, Karen smiled slightly.

"I got a motel we can go to. We shouldn't do this outside the prison. Let's go." Karen gets inside the car with Sean following nervously.

It was a silent trip. They both knew what was about to happen, what they were about to do, and that it would not be easy. The mind of Sean goes back and forth between forgiveness and murderous rage. The mind of Karen going back and forth between that of a mother, and that of the woman who tried to escape to happiness eight years ago. Neither said a word. Not on the way to the motel, not while exiting the car, not when walking up those stairs, and not when entering the motel room.

Not a word.

"Well, Sean… this is it," Karen says nervously while sitting down on a chair, seemingly inviting Sean to do the same.

This is it, indeed.

Sean sat down opposite her. Right now, he could only think of one question to ask.

"Why?" No more words should be needed. By the looks of it, Karen took the hint. She sighs heavily.

"Ever had that feeling of not fitting in, Sean? Feeling that something's missing from your life, and no matter what you do, the feeling never goes away?" Sean opens his mouth only to close it immediately.

"Think first, answer later, idiot." He internally cursed at himself. Sean gave himself a moment to process what she just said.

"I think so, yeah," Sean mumbled back in response. Sean had plenty of friends that gladly used to hang out with him before his life went south. He's got a loving father and a little brother who idolizes him. And yet, Sean always felt like he wasn't popular enough which is strange since he didn't give a shit about being popular or not.

"What does your father say about it if you ask him for advice?" Sean doesn't think it's any of her business, but he'll play along for now.

"Do what feels right, or some shit… I dunno." Sean feels like an idiot right now.

"Your father's still a wise man, I can tell. When I was your age, I asked my mother for advice. Your grandmother." That kind of got Sean's attention. Claire Reynolds would never harm another human being, but she's probably at the very bottom of the list of people Sean would ask for advice on how to live his life.

"She didn't tell me to do what I felt was right. She told me to do what she felt was right." Yeah, Sean could kinda see that one happening.

"I always loved my kids, and I still do, Sean. But… that kind of life? It just wasn't right for me. The last two years before leaving, I was miserable. And I just felt that it would be better for everyone if I left you. In a twisted way, it's better to be apart from each other and content with your life, rather than living miserable together." Sean's not sure how to react to this. Should he apologize for being born or tell her that it's not her fault? Turns out that this is way more complicated than Karen just packing her bags and leaving.

"Ok… I guess." Sean deadpanned.

"I don't expect you to understand my reasons, Sean, especially not today. And I sure as hell don't expect your forgiveness because I don't deserve it. Just know that leaving your family behind, is the hardest decision I have ever made in my life." Yeah, it was really hard on you because you didn't see the results of the aftermath.

"So, why the hell did you come back? Why now?" Sean changes the subject to avoid losing his cool.

"My father tracked down my postbox a few weeks ago and sent me a letter. He told me that Daniel's sick, and you're in prison with 25 000 dollars on bail." Ok, so far so good.

"I decided to bail you out, and-" Ok, just hang on this one second…

"Wait- how the fuck could you come up with 25 000 dollars overnight?" Sean blurts out in disbelief. Karen smiles as she prepares to explain.

"When I left you, I pursued some dreams I had in writing. It went well for a few years. Then I got tired of it. But I made enough money to put some aside, just in case." That's good?

"Just in case what?" Did she expect her son to end up in prison?

"Let's just call it a rainy day. It could be someone in need of a bailout, some fugitives on the run from the law, or even the nuclear apocalypse. Either way, I'm glad I did it, Sean." Yeah, no kidding.

"I'm glad to, mom. Thanks." Sean sounded more genuine this time. Now, however, it was time for the next difficult part.

"Your brother, Sean, how is he?" Karen asked with concern. Sean pushed back his tears.

"Bad. He can't do shit, and it's all my fault." Sean spends the next hour, explaining to Karen every single detail about Daniel and his condition. The good, the bad, the very bad, and the really fucking ugly. After Sean's finished telling his story, they both sit in silence, taking in everything.

"It's not your fault, Sean," Karen whispered to him. Sean turns his back on her.

"Sean. It's not your fault." Yes, it is. It's all his fault. All of it.

"I- I don't know what to do anymore, mom. I'm losing my brother, and I don't know what to do." Karen didn't say anything because no words could solve Sean's problems. Instead, she moved to sit next to her son.

"It's ok, Sean, you've done great. Everyone's proud of you, I know they are." For the first time in eight years, Sean could cry on his mother's shoulder.

And cry he did.

Eight years of anger, hate, loneliness, and despair. Not to mention the last months of trauma surrounding Daniel's condition. For once in his life, Sean had a shoulder to cry on, instead of the other way around.

God only knows how much he needed it.

Notes:

Sean's now officially out of prison and reunited with his mother. The question is, how will Daniel react upon seeing Sean again? Not to mention his mother. That is if Daniel's still around, of course. We'll find out in the next chapter.

The part towards the end where they travel towards the motel room, the one beginning with "It was a silent trip" is inspired by Star Wars Battlefront 2 (2005) - 501st Journal

Feel free to leave a comment below.

Enjoy!

K. S.

You hate her.
And you love her.

You wish her pain.
Yet, you crave her love.

You scream.
But none can hear.

She broke you.
Long before you knew what broken was.

Now, she's returned.
You hang by a thread.

How long?
How much?
Before the old wolf breaks beyond repair?

Somewhere in the desert there's a forest.
But I don't know where to begin.
But I don't know where to begin.
Again I've lost my strength completely.
Oh, be near me.

Chapter 13: Reunited

Summary:

The time has come for Daniel to meet his mother. The question is, how will he react?

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Mid-October, 2016…

Sean spent a few days with his mother. It felt wrong at first. In more ways than one. He wanted nothing more than to just go home and apologize to his brother, however, Sean knew that Daniel needed to see his mom. What Sean didn't know, is how badly Sean himself needed to see her.

All that anger he's carried around for years while bottling it up, only releasing fumes on select occasions. He never realized just how much it weighed him down. Their first day together was the hardest. Sean knew that he had to make things work if Daniel were to see her. The image of his crying little brother hugging her made Sean feel angry, and perhaps even jealous. And as long as that's a thing, they can't go to him. Still, it's a difficult thought to erase. Sean Eduardo Diaz, nine years old?

He had no mother to hug. But Daniel gets that privilege?

No!

Sean shook his head, attempting to erase the jealousy. This is not the time. Hell, is there even a time to be jealous of your sick nine-year-old little brother?

No, probably not.

At first, the silence between Sean and Karen was awkward. Sure, they've talked a little which means that the worst part is done. Still, Sean felt like he didn't know her, and the feeling was probably mutual. Eventually, Sean asked the question that got the conversation started.

"Where did you go?" Four short words and Karen Reynolds spoke for over an hour. She lived in New York for a couple of years while writing, apparently making a shitload of money off of it. Then, she decided that she had lived her dream. New York felt too crowded, too loud, and didn't feel like her. She moved way out into the Arizona desert, and to a small community called "Away".

Sean had to admit the fact that she seemed happy when telling him about her past. She lived her dream and got out before it all went crumbling down on her. Not many people can do that. Then it became Sean's turn to tell his story.

Karen's smile quickly evaporated while tears began to pour.

Sean knew this would be hard, but he didn't expect it to be this hard. His story began the day after she left them. How he refused to believe that she had left them. Sean told her about the times he would run to the mailbox in hopes of a letter from her.

But nothing ever came.

He told her about the day he decided that she was not his mother anymore. She's just "Karen". To those who asked him, Sean would say that his mother's dead. In a way, he didn't lie. She was dead to him. Sean told her about Daniel, and how growing up without a mother affected him. Karen did not speak, she only listened. Listened and cried.

Finally, he spoke about Daniel's accident, and the guilt he feels. How it pains him to watch his little brother fade away. Sean left nothing out of this conversation. He told her about the incident with Brett, and even his thoughts about Daniel not making it.

That conversation opened a door that Sean closed years ago. It felt like a weight had disappeared from his shoulders. That, and he began feeling closer to his mother again. Not close, but closer. It's a good step in the right direction. The next few days contained more talking, however, it was more catching up on lost time than anything else. In a way, it felt like she never left. For a short while, Sean could forget about the misery that likely awaited him at home.

At least until the fourth day.

Sean sits at the table in the motel room with Karen opposite him. She bought them both a burger for lunch. He's somewhat amazed that she still remembered that he didn't like onions. Today, however, neither of them seemed to like burgers either. They both sat with an empty stare, not saying a word. Mother and son's got nothing more to catch up on, meaning the Enano-elephant's in the room. Sean sighed.

"It's time, isn't it?" He whispers. It almost felt like he didn't want to go home. He's terrified of what to expect.

"Yeah. It is." Karen sighed as well, unable to hide how nervous she was. Each of them now waiting for the other to say the two words.

"Let's go." Against all odds, Sean's the one to break the silence. He would never admit it to anyone, but spending some time away from Daniel had probably been good for him. For Sean, that is. But Daniel's still his brother, and he loves him no matter what. It's time to go home.

Five minutes later, Sean sat in his mother's car. He thought back to all those times. All the times Daniel asked him about their mother, and all he ever did was scream at him because it hurt too much. Still, it didn't stop him from secretly imagining how it would look if Daniel were to meet his mother.

Sometimes, Sean would picture it in his mind. Daniel would run to her, screaming with joy, hug her and never let go. That's how their reunion should have been. Their real reunion, however, is going to be very different. Daniel's in such bad shape that he can barely walk, or talk, and god only knows what else at this point. Sean can only hope that the boy understands what's about to happen.

"Uh, Karen- I mean, mom?" It still felt kinda weird using the word "mom" again.

"Yes, Sean?" He could hear the worry in her voice. Sean, however, began to worry about something completely different.

"What do we do about dad? I- I haven't talked to him since I got out?" Fuck. How stupid is he? He got bailed out of jail, and he didn't even call his own father. What if he tried to visit him, only to hear that he got bailed out? He must be worried sick.

"Oh, Sean…" Karen just smiled.

"Have you ever seen your father angry?" Sean's a bit confused by the question. He gives it a few seconds even if he already knows the answer to it.

"Just once. At the hospital, on the day when Daniel had his accident." That's the one time he's been afraid of his father.

"From what you told me, Sean, that's not Esteban Diaz when he's angry. Trust me…" Wow. His father's got a really dark side to him that Sean never knew of.

"With that in mind, Sean, do you think I would come back to Seattle, bail you out of prison, and visit Daniel at home without patching things up with him first?" Ok, just how long has she been here?

"Uhm… no?" Sean made it sound like a question, however, Karen still smiles.

"Exactly, Sean. I'm many things, but stupid is not one of them." Ok, at least he seems to have his father back on his side.

"Ok, good… good." Karen slows down before making a turn to the right.

"We're here." Fuck. Karen looks around the neighborhood.

"It's been a long time." Karen almost sounded nostalgic.

"Yeah… eight years," Sean muttered while instantly regretting it. The pressure's getting to him.

"Shit, sorry." Karen, however, didn't seem affected by it.

"It's ok, Sean. How are you holding up?" He's not.

"Maybe- maybe I should go in first." Seeing his older brother might be a great shock on its own for Daniel. Add his mother at the same time, however, and it's a recipe for disaster.

"I think that's a good idea. I'll be just outside." Sean nods in return before getting out of the car. For a brief moment, Sean's hand froze on the doorknob of the house. He almost expected Daniel to come running to him as soon as he entered the house.

"SEAN, YOU'RE BAAACK!" He knew though, it would never happen again.

The first thing he noticed was the sounds. Or to be precise, the lack of them. The house felt abandoned, devoid of life. Slowly, Sean walks toward his little brother's room. He knocks on the door, receiving silence in return. Sean enters the bear's lair.

What he sees causes him to cry instantly. Daniel's in his bed asleep with the curtains pulled down to make the room pitch black. Sean opened up the curtains to let some sunlight into the room. Also, he opened the window so that Daniel could get some fresh air. Then, he looks at his younger brother for the first time in over a month.

Daniel used to look so peaceful in his sleep. Not anymore. Daniel's fingers are crooked and deformed. The muscles in his face constantly twitch beyond his control, and he looks so different. Like a completely different being. What happened to his Enano?

Sean looks around the room, noticing the crumbled-up pieces of paper scattered all over the floor. Drawings, notes, and all kinds of things. Sean picks one paper up at random. It looks like an attempt at a drawing. At least he believes it is. He couldn't really tell. Daniel used to be so good at this. What the fuck happened? Sean turned the page around, noticing something written on it.

"Why can't I do it anymore?" It just broke Sean's heart. His little brother lost the ability to do the one thing he truly felt great at. He lost it, and he can't even understand why.

FUCK!

Well, Sean can't postpone this any longer. He sits at the side of the bed and takes a few deep breaths. Sean places his palm on Daniel's shoulder before whispering.

"Enano?" The small figure began moving around.

"Give him time, Sean, give him time," Sean told himself while trying to avoid a breakdown. Daniel tried opening his eyes.

"Ah!" He groaned as the sunlight blinded him. Still, he saw more than enough. The little boy froze.

"He knows." Sean thought to himself. Now, all that remains, is to see how he reacts.

"Sean?" Daniel whispered, almost in disbelief. He forced himself to open his eyes and look at his older brother. Daniel needed to see if he was really there, or if this is just another cruel trick by his own mind.

Daniel looks up at his brother, protector, and idol. Sean's here, and he's very real.

"Yes, Enano. I'm here now." Daniel cried without even realizing it. Sean used his thumb to remove a tear from his face. His brother's homecoming made Daniel feel several things. Relief, joy, a weird sense of nostalgia. But more than anything, another emotion took control over his body, like a parasite attaching itself to its host.

Anger.

Daniel's angry at his brother for leaving him when he depended on him the most. He's angry at his father for not giving a shit about him, he's angry at himself for deciding to be a showoff that day, only to ruin his life in the process. Finally, Daniel's angry because he doesn't know what awaits him. He doesn't know, and it scares him. Right now, all of this culminates into one massive outburst.

Daniel tried to launch himself at his older brother, but his legs didn't want to obey him these days. Powered by anger and fear, Daniel managed to sit himself up. He pictured it in his mind. He would give Sean a solid punch on the nose. Or maybe an uppercut. Perhaps both. Daniel had no time, however, as Sean wrapped his arms around him in a tight hug first.

Daniel did not return the favor.

"NO!" Daniel tries to get out, but Sean holds him tight.

"Let me go!" Sean refusing to let go of him only angers Daniel even more. Sean, however, knows his little brother. He has a reason for doing what he does.

"Let me go, you asshole! You left me!" Daniel tried punching Sean, but all he could do was lightly slap him on his back. The anger, however, remained.

"YOU LEFT ME!" The boy cried out in pain as he fought as if his life depended on it. Maybe it did. Then again, that ship might have already sailed and gone down long ago.

"Shh, Daniel. It's ok now. I'm here, and I won't leave you again." Sean cried even more than his younger brother.

"NO! You left me, you left me, you left me!" One final attempt at punching, biting, scratching, and clawing his way out. Then, Daniel Felipe Diaz fell silent. His arms began to slowly relax, and the heavy, angry breathing began to sound more like silent, hiccuping sobs.

"You- you left me, Sean. You left me." Sean let go of his brother, allowing him to cry into his chest. He didn't know how to respond to that. Daniel's not wrong. Sean did leave him. Sure, he didn't exactly do it on purpose, but he should have expected it to happen.

"I know. I'm so sorry, Daniel." And now, more than ever before, Sean Diaz is sorry.

The brothers held onto one another for a while before Daniel released his hold on Sean, returning to his bed with a sigh.

"How-" Damn it, Sean, don't ask him how he's holding up. It's obvious to anyone, that he's not. Daniel, however, spared him the humiliation by answering before he could ask.

"Worse. Can't do shit." It's getting worse, just like Sean had feared. And by the looks of it, it's going downhill fast. He puts on his best comforting face before carefully asking Daniel how exactly things are worse.

It physically hurt Sean to hear it. The fact that Daniel's words were barely understandable from time to time was bad enough, but he's starting to have difficulties understanding others as well. Fuck. His little brother's been confined to his bed since Sean got dragged off to prison. He did this to Daniel. Once again, Sean tried to do something good for his brother, only to hurt him in the process.

"I feel like-" Daniel stopped speaking for a few seconds while taking a deep breath.

"I feel like nobody cares about me anymore." As much as the words hurt him, Sean knew he had to accept them. Daniel's ability to process information isn't what it used to be, meaning he draws conclusions that don't always make sense. Sean also knew that this is as good of a chance as any to do it.

To bring her in.

Let's just hope that he can understand what's happening. Sean takes a deep breath and tries to relax.

"Daniel, there's a lot of people that care about you and love you. I care about you, dad cares about you, and-" This is it. Sean swore this day would never come. Now, it's here.

"Mo- someone else cares as well." Sean couldn't use the word "mom". It felt overwhelming in a situation like this. Still, Daniel noticed his change of tone.

"Who, Sean?" The boy looked at him with such a sad face that even the slightest error on Sean's part might send the child into an abyss of despair.

"Someone who wants to meet you, Enano." Perhaps it was the look on his older brother's face. Either way, Daniel got the impression that something was up. In a good way, for once. He just couldn't figure out what. The boy looks at his older brother with a hint of curiosity.

"Do you trust me, Enano?" Sean looked right back at him.

"Yes. I- I guess." Sean really could've done without that last part, but it will do for now.

"Two minutes, Daniel. I will be back in two minutes, little brother. I promise." Sean smiled at his younger brother. Daniel, however, did not return the favor.

"I promise you… I'm not going anywhere." Daniel whispered.

"It's what you said last time. You promised me to never leave, but you did. You did, Sean." Daniel looks at his brother with such disappointment that it's painful for them both. Sean couldn't figure out a decent thing to say to that. Once again, his brother did not lie.

"Two minutes, Enano," Sean mumbles before leaving his little brother alone to his fate.

When he got outside, Sean almost expected his mother to be gone again. Hell, for less than a second he probably believed it too. But no. In front of him stands Karen Reynolds, and by her side, Esteban Diaz.

"Mom… dad?" Fuck. Sean's not used those words in the same sentence since he was eight. It felt strange. Not wrong, just very strange.

"It's good to see you home again, Hijo." His father greeted him with a smile.

"Dad, I'm so sorry-" Sean began, only to have his father raise his hand to stop him.

"I know you are, Sean. We'll talk later. Go to your brother. Both of you." Sean looked at his mother with the latter nodding in return. The pair entered the house in silence.

Karen looked around the living room, appearing almost nostalgic. Still, Sean could see how nervous she really was. He didn't blame her. He's got no idea how Daniel will react. They come to a halt outside the door to Daniel's room. Sean enters first.

"Daniel, I'm back." His brother lay in bed completely exhausted. He could barely turn his head to look at Sean.

"Thanks, Sean. I knew you would be-" Sean didn't need to turn around to know what Daniel stared at.

He knows.

The boy's mouth opens as he struggles to find the right words. His mouth closed, opened, and closed yet again without him uttering a single word. Sean, however, didn't need him to. The expression on Daniel's face said more than words ever could.

Joy.

The type of joy that cannot be put into words. Something you feel when your greatest wish in life has been fulfilled. That is what Sean saw on his brother's face. Daniel Felipe Diaz looked upon his mother for the first time in his entire life, and it made him feel like a normal child again.

"Hi, Daniel. My name's Karen-" Yeah. Barely had she reached his bed before he almost jumped up and locked his arms around her.

"M- mo- mom…" Daniel had such a difficult time saying even the simplest of words due to the emotional pressure of the situation. Still, he wanted to say this. He needed to say this.

"Yes, Daniel. I'm your mom. I'm here, and I'm not leaving you again." Sean felt a strange mix of emotions. He's happy for his brother's sake. Hell, him not being happy right now would just be evil. Still, there's that small sting of jealousy. Not much, but it's there. She never came back to him and said those words.

Sean cries, Karen cries, and Daniel cries. They all, however, cry out of joy. For the first time in eight years, the Diaz family is united under one roof.

The papa wolf makes sure that the home lair's safe and sound while also putting food on the table. The mama wolf just returned after a long absence. She traveled the world, fulfilling her dreams along the way. The wolfbrother looks after the little cub. He tries his best, and the results vary greatly. Then, there's the little cub. The entire family of wolves has united once again. But for how long?

How long will it last?

And what shall tear them apart forever?

Notes:

Sorry for the lack of updates recently. I just haven't felt very good in general, meaning my writing gets sidelined quite a bit which sucks. Hopefully, this is just a temporary thing.

Tbh, I'm also getting kinda bored with this story since I feel like I can't do much more with it, considering that Daniel's confined to the house, and Sean's confined to Daniel. In short: When the ending comes (not yet), expect no masterpiece. I kinda want to get started on my next project. Still, I'll do my best (duh)...

That being said, feel free to leave a comment below.

Enjoy!

K. S.

You can feel it.
Every second.
Of every day.
And every night.

She failed you first.
Then your idol failed you.
So did your father.

Now.
You start to fail yourself.

Your vision is blurry.
Your hearing impaired.
Your body is fragile.
You are a broken boy.

Again I've lost my strength completely.
But every road leads to an end.
Well, I got nothing to prove.
And we all know how this will end.

Chapter 14: Winter Is Coming

Summary:

The arrival of the first snow makes Sean swear something that he might not be able to fulfill. But he sure as hell will try.

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Late November…

Sean woke up with a startle. He didn't sleep well anymore. Hell, he barely slept at all. The amount of times he's forced to get out of bed every night is almost insane. Daniel was in pain, afraid, or just crying, in general, every single night. Sean knew that the least he could do is help his little brother get through this shit, considering the fact that he was the one that caused it.

It made things no easier though. Daniel might not have the energy to scream like he used to, but the words still hurt like never before.

"You left me, Sean." Daniel would whisper while looking into his eyes. Sean felt ashamed. He didn't know what to say. Still, that's far from the worst of what Daniel says during his nightly episodes.

"Please, Sean, kill me. I- I don't wanna live like this." Sean remembered when this mess began. How he swore to not cry in front of Daniel because his brother might see it as Sean losing hope. The first time his nine-year-old brother begged for death, that all came crumbling down like a house of cards. Sean cried for hours as he held his brother in his arms, unable to say any words of comfort. How do you comfort one who wishes death?

You don't.

You don't because you can't.

"Shit." Sean groaned while dragging his palms across his face. It's still dark, meaning he could probably sleep for a couple of hours. He turns to the left to look at the clock on his bedside table.

Right…

Sean sighed as he remembered once again. He doesn't sleep in his own room anymore. Sean gave up on that a few weeks ago and decided to sleep on a mattress in Daniel's room. It seemed to help the boy a lot during the nights. He still woke up in pain, but there weren't as many chaotic and suicidal ramblings. His brother felt safe with Sean nearby, or at least safer.

"Motherf-" This mattress is going to be the end of him. He might as well sleep on the floor directly. Fuck, his back hurts. Sean manages to get to his feet without waking Daniel up. He quietly sneaks out of the room and into his own to change his clothes. Like he's got time to fucking shower anymore. Sean looks out the window as something caught his attention.

Snow.

The entire porch of the Diaz house was covered in pure white snow, with more falling from the sky by the second.

"Wow…" Sean mumbles as he looks outside. He knew it to be a terrible idea, but Sean couldn't help but let himself drift away to the year before.

And the year before that…

And the year before that…

Every single year when the first snow came, Daniel Felipe Diaz went insane.

"OHMYGAWD, OHMYGAWD! Sean, wake up! Snow!" Last year Daniel woke him up, already fully dressed to go outside.

Sean went back even further…

"Sean, Sean, can we please go outside? Please…?" Five-year-old Daniel begged his older brother to go outside with him in the snow.

"Can I at least finish my breakfast first, little guy?" Daniel's face went sour immediately.

"Stop calling me that, Sean. I'm five years old, and not a baby." Daniel pouted.

"Ok, Enano. We'll go out in ten minutes." So they did, and that's how Sean kept calling his brother "little guy" without him even knowing it.

Then, there's today.

Sean felt a tear on the side of his face as he realized the implications. Today, Daniel Diaz would not beg him to go outside and play in the snow. He would not scream out of excitement that for Sean was out of this world. Most likely, Daniel Diaz would never do any of that ever again.

He would beg, but not for Sean to take him outside and have a snowball fight. Daniel Diaz would beg his older brother to kill him.

He would scream, not out of excitement. Daniel Diaz would scream out of pain.

"You don't deserve this, Daniel. You deserve so much better." Sean whispered into the air, receiving silence in return.

Screw it.

Daniel deserves to have something good, and today, Sean swears that he will get it. Today, Sean will put a smile on his brother's face no matter what it takes. They both needed it.

Sean entered his brother's room, opening the curtains. He looks at his brother, and the latter still sleeps. Sean sits on the side of the bed, gently placing his hand on Daniel's shoulder to wake him up.

"Enano?" Daniel moved around a little.

"Daniel?" A faint groan, out of tiredness and pain equally. His brother's awake.

"Hurts." Shit. That's probably the word that Sean fears the most by now.

"I- I know, Enano. Look, I have something to show you, ok?" Sean did everything he could to sound excited, and it seemed like he got Daniel's attention at least.

"What?" Daniel asked him with a small hint of curiosity.

"I'll show you, Enano." Sean opens the window, grabbing a handful of snow from the outside to make a snowball before returning to Daniel.

"This, Daniel. I wanted to show you this." Sean holds the snowball in his hand while nervously awaiting Daniel's reaction. His condition made it difficult to process information, meaning Sean had to give him time. Daniel curiously looked at the object before poking at it with a crooked finger.

"Cold." He whispered before going silent. Then, Sean swore that he could see the moment it clicked for him. The very moment that the familiar spark ignited in his eyes.

"Snow?" Daniel asked with such hope in his eyes that even if it wasn't snow in his hands, Sean would still lie and tell him that it is.

"Yes, Daniel, snow. It's winter." Sean smiled at him. Daniel took the snowball in his hands with some difficulty. Sean could see it in his eyes. The longing. How badly he wanted to go outside.

"Sean?" Daniel looked at him with a familiar look. The boy's eyes might be tired, but his look felt more intense than ever.

"Yeah, Enano?" Sean felt like he knew what was about to come, yet he feared that he might be wrong.

"Help me out, please?" Four short, silent words. Those words, however, echoed in Sean's mind. Daniel wants to go outside, and he sure as hell ain't going to deny him that.

"Of course, Daniel. I'll help you." A process, to put it mildly. Sean decided to say "fuck it" as far as breakfast goes for the both of them. Daniel barely ate anything anyways. Still, he's forced to improvise on the fly. Daniel's barely left the house since before Sean went to prison. That's also the last time the boy could walk, and he did so with Sean as support. Now, it's winter, snow, ice, and -25 ℃ outside. Sean must think twice before leaving the house with his already broken brother.

Eventually, however, Sean managed to get him ready. His back hurts even more after lifting Daniel up and down repeatedly to get him dressed, but that familiar spark in his eyes makes it all worth it. It's what makes Sean feel that his little brother's still in there, instead of being lost forever.

Daniel sits on a chair right next to the door. His face shows signs of exhaustion, fatigue, malnourishment, and twitches regularly. His body language, however, told an entirely different story. Daniel sat with a decent posture for the first time in ages. The boy's feet dangled back and forth above the floor as he looked towards the door waiting for Sean to get dressed.

"Ok, Enano, are we ready?" Sean asked with what felt like genuine hope for once. He promised himself that he wouldn't get his hopes up, just in case it would go to hell. Still, he couldn't help but get a good feeling about this.

"Yeah, Sean. Ready." The spark is there, no doubt. Still no smile though. Sean hopes to change that.

"Ok then. Let's go outside, Enano." Sean put some sunglasses on his little brother. The sun isn't that strong today, but Daniel's very sensitive to the light. A year ago, he would have called himself "the Mexican vampire" or something.

Since Daniel's unable to walk on his own, Sean lifts him up, and carries him over his shoulder like a toddler. He tried not to make Daniel feel embarrassed about it but likely failed. There used to be a time when Sean would have complained about how heavy Daniel was. Today, however, was not one of those days. For more reasons than one.

He placed his younger brother on a chair on the porch that he prepared earlier. Now, it's time for the real improvisation to begin. Sean took a few deep breaths before turning to his brother.

"So, what do you want us to do, Daniel?" In reality, he asked Daniel what he wanted Sean to do since Daniel couldn't do much if anything. But he couldn't say that. He had to make him feel like he was a part of something.

"Don't know…" Daniel turns his head back and forth, up and down, left and right, studying every inch of his surroundings. It's like the boy was in awe.

"How about we make a snowman, Enano?" Sean doesn't wait for Daniel to respond, instead beginning to create a large ball of snow.

"Fuck. This is exhausting… and boring. Did I use to enjoy this shit?" Sean thought while stopping for a short breath. He looked over to Daniel. His brother removed the sunglasses and turned his attention to the pile of snow next to him. The sight is as sad as it is painful.

Daniel attempts to grab a handful of snow to make a snowball. His deformed fingers, however, cause him to drop everything. Sean could see the frustration from a mile away.

"Enano? You need any help?" Sean could see how his brother was ashamed for not being able to do the smallest of things. The spark in his eyes began to fade away. Something must be done or all this will have been for nothing.

"Can you- no… stupid." Ok, he definitely wants Sean to do something for him now. He just has to get him to say it.

"Daniel, your emotions are not stupid. You are not stupid. You're my brother, Daniel, and I love you. Just, tell me how I can help you. I'm really trying here, in case you haven't noticed." Shit. One little slip-up like that could be more than enough to ruin everything. Luckily, Daniel did not notice.

"Can you just-" Daniel's silent for a while as if considering whether he should finish the sentence or not.

"Can you just put me there?" Daniel points to the middle of the yard where snow covers everything. Sean wants to help Daniel, but…

"Are you sure, Daniel? It's very cold, and I don't want you to get the flu, Enano." He knew this to be a bad idea but saw no other option.

"I know, Sean. Please…?" The spark in Daniel's eyes reignited, and Sean just couldn't say no. His heart wouldn't allow him. He picks Daniel up, and walks into the middle of the yard, carefully setting him down on the ground. Sean sat down facing him, studying his brother's face.

"Cold, Sean." Daniel whimpered only seconds after Sean had put him there. Still, he showed no signs that he wanted to leave.

"You doing ok, buddy?" Sean asked with poorly hidden concern. Daniel sat there, on a ground so cold it might give him the flu, surrounded by snow he couldn't play with. He sat under a sun so hot and bright, that it made his eyes sting. The air going into his lungs was so cold it hurt to breathe.

That's when Sean saw it.

Daniel smiled. The biggest, widest, silliest, and most wholesome smile he's ever seen in his life. He did it. Sean went all-out to make his little brother happy today, and he succeeded. He wanted to remember this moment forever. Right now, Sean felt like nothing could ruin this day for the wolfbrothers. Absolutely nothing.

"FUCK!" Sean screamed inwards while his eyes widened in horror. He saw it happening in slow-motion, but still had no time to react as Daniel's body began falling backward.

The image of Daniel on a skateboard shall forever be etched in Sean's retina. Perhaps that is why he closes his eyes this time. To save himself from another traumatizing image. He heard a sickening thud as Daniel's skull hit a patch of ice on the ground. Sean's afraid to open his eyes. Daniel's brain couldn't possibly take another hit like that. Still, he can't just sit around, so he forces himself to open his eyes while preparing for the horror in front of him.

"Expect the worst, and you shall never be disappointed." That is what they say. Well, that's one way to put it. Sean expected the empty eyes of his brother, staring into the abyss while the snow underneath his head was red with blood.

What did Sean see?

Daniel's on his back with his eyes closed. He's not, however, dead. On the contrary, the boy's more alive than he's been in a very long time. He stretches his arms and legs, making a snow angel. The fact that he managed to get his face covered in snow didn't seem to bother him. Sean bit his tongue hard. He almost screamed at Daniel for scaring him so much, and to be honest, a part of him wanted to. Still, he knew that Daniel needed this moment after everything he's been through. Sean settles for a few tears of joy on the sidelines as he watched his brother be a kid again.

The more time Daniel spent outside, the more things changed. For once, they changed for the better. His stiff legs became more agile, the constant twitching in his face decreased, and his deformed fingers began to relax. Although he still looked very different from the boy Sean took to the skate park, Daniel Diaz almost looks like a normal nine-year-old boy. A bit tired, and malnourished, but still… normal.

"Thanks, Sean… for taking me out here," Daniel said in the most genuine tone Sean's ever heard him speak.

"Of course, Enano." He didn't know what else to say. Just seeing Daniel happy felt rewarding enough.

"I think I wanna get inside now." Daniel gives his left hand to Sean, indicating that he needs help. Sean grabs his hand, and-

"GOTCHA!" Just as Sean grabbed Daniel's left hand, Daniel used his right hand to shove a fistful of snow in his older brother's face. Sean never saw it coming, lost his balance, and fell to the ground.

"He's still there, alright." Sean thought while swearing quietly, knowing that he'll never have the heart to return that favor.

"Oh, you got me, Enano. You got me good." Sean's on the ground, preparing to get up. Something caught his attention, however, making him freeze on the spot.

Sean's on the ground. And Daniel?

Daniel's standing. As in, standing on his feet. How he managed that, Sean cannot be sure of. Perhaps Sean pulled him halfway up as he fell to the ground? Either way, it doesn't matter. His brother's standing on very wobbly legs, clearly uncertain of what to do next.

"Daniel-" Sean went silent as he realized his mistake. The one thing keeping Daniel from losing his balance was his concentration. Sean calling his name in fear, pulled Daniel out of his concentration, instead turning to look at Sean.

It felt like it all happened again.

The look of pride and accomplishment because he could finally do it by himself. Then came the look of fear and utter horror as Daniel fell forward, crashing to the ground.

"DANIEL?! DANIEL, TALK TO ME?! ARE YOU OK?!" Sean flips his brother over to his back, and-

Yeah, he's fine.

Daniel laughed. The most innocent laugh that only a child could produce. Did he laugh at the pain, the misery, his condition, or just this specific situation? Nobody knew, and nobody cared. The important thing is that Daniel Felipe Diaz has a great day today, and it's all thanks to his brother.

Eventually, however, Daniel stops laughing, settling for looking up at the sky.

"Thanks, Sean," Daniel mumbled as he studied the clouds above him. Sean could make out a lone tear on his brother's cheek.

"Let's get you inside, Enano." He didn't know what to say, so Sean decided that the time had come to go back inside.

"Ok, Sean." The oldest wolf carried his little cub inside, helping him with his wet clothes. Sean put Daniel on the couch in a sitting position. Each brother felt absolutely exhausted.

"Cold, Sean." Daniel shivered from the cold so Sean wrapped a blanket around him.

"Hang on, Daniel. I'll make you some hot chocolate to warm you up. How does that sound?" Sean really didn't feel like doing it. All he wanted right now, was sleep. Fuck, he's tired.

"Good." Daniel's back to short, one-word answers. The kid's almost sleepwalking. Sean gets to work, preparing two cups of hot chocolate. A few minutes later, he turns to his brother, holding one cup in each hand.

"Ok, Daniel. It's ready. I hope you-" Oh…

Daniel's asleep. He's still sitting upright, the only difference being that his head tilts backward. Realizing that he doesn't have the heart to wake him up, Sean put the cups aside. Then, he sits next to his brother on the couch, taking great care not to wake him up.

Sean takes his sketchbook and starts to draw. It's been ages since he felt like drawing. Sean did his best to ignore the sharp pain in his chest as he flipped the pages. One of the more recent drawings hurt too much to see. It depicted Daniel on a skateboard with a wide smile on his face. At the bottom of the page, Sean had written "Teaching Daniel to skate tomorrow. Gonna be fun."

"If only you had known." Sean allowed himself a brief moment of despair before moving on to create a new drawing.

It felt like hours, and perhaps it was. Eventually, Sean had finished his new artwork. He considered many motives for his drawing. In the end, however, he settled for something relatively simple. Still, it's what he'll always remember about today.

The image of Daniel smiling.

Sean looks at his miniature brother on the page, thinking about what to write below.

"I'm sorry." Sean writes before closing his sketchbook and putting it on the table in front of him. Then, Sean wraps one arm around his little brother before leaning his head backward, falling asleep immediately.

Unknown location…

Sean found himself in a location that felt eerily familiar. For reasons, he could not explain, however, Sean just couldn't place it. He did know one thing though.

He does not want to be here.

He heard a sound. A material of sorts, hitting the ground with full force. Sean turns towards the source.

"Sean?! You see that Sean, I made it! I made it, Sean!" He knew the location now, and why it felt so bad being here. Sean's at the skate park. The sound he heard was Daniel making the jump he spent hours on, and the voice that called his name…

Daniel.

Sean's not sure what to make of it. Is this a dream? Daniel's right in front of him, healthy, hyperactive, and… Daniel.

"You missed it, Sean. I can't believe you missed it." Sean had no time to react before Daniel's up on the ramp once again. He remembered all too well what happened on this attempt. Sean wanted to stop him, Sean had to stop him, and Sean tried to stop him.

But Sean couldn't stop him.

Just like before, Sean's frozen in fear while watching his younger brother pick up more speed than he can handle. Daniel's expression went from excitement to horror, just like last time. Sean held his breath as he tried to prepare himself for the sickening sound of his brother's skull cracking.

"There! I did it again, Sean!" Daniel lands on his feet, coming to a stop in front of his older brother.

"Daniel? You-" Sean's interrupted before he's able to finish the sentence.

"Made it? You expected me to fail again, Sean?" Daniel looks at him like he's an idiot.

"Are you real?" Sean asked his little brother. The boy in front of him appears to be in deep thought.

"Hmm… yes, and no." Ok then.

"Come, Sean. I want to show you something." The boy offers Sean his hand. Since this is nothing but a dream, nothing bad can happen if Sean takes it. The very moment he does, however, the skate park is no more. In its place, is a massive empty void. Empty, silent, and… really fucking white.

"You asked me if I was real, Sean. The answer is much more complicated than that. We're brothers, and we have the same blood. A part of me exists in here." Daniel put a hand over his heart.

"But I'm not real-real, like in, a real physical person, understand?" Nope, not really.

"Uh… no?" Daniel just smiled at him.

"Good." Sean's pretty damn sure the kid's real.

"So, what is this, Enano?" Sean looks around, trying to see something, only failing miserably.

"This is called the realm between realms. Long story. Interdimensional traveling, dead coming back to life. You know, the usual shit." Sean wished he didn't ask.

"Why do you blame yourself for what happened, Sean?" His brother asked him out of the blue. The answer to that question is as simple as it is sad.

"It's my fault. I should have looked after you, and taken better care of you." Daniel crossed his arms, taking on a skeptical look.

"I might be far from an adult, but I'm still nine years old, Sean. I should have known better that day." Daniel says decisively.

"But you're still my responsibility, Enano." Sean takes the blame without giving any real reason that he's to blame for what happened.

"It was an accident, Sean. It could have happened to anyone, even you. It was bad luck. Shit happens, right?" That's when it happened. Sean had no argument left. He collapsed to the ground beneath him, uncertain if it was soft or hard. Sean Diaz sat there, and he cried.

"It's ok, Sean." Daniel kneels, wrapping his arms around his brother, comforting him.

"Let it all out, wolfbrother. I don't blame you for what happened, so why should you?" Yeah. Why should he?

"Are you- are you sure it's not my fault?" Sean asked as if he still had doubts.

"You already know the answer to that, Sean." Daniel smiled at him.

"Oh, and Sean?" Daniel looked at him with concern.

"Yeah?" Sean almost held his breath.

"WAKE UP!"

"AH!" Sean awoke with a startle. Shit. Can he please have one night without some freaky nightmares? What the hell was it this time? Something about zombies and… realm travel? Fuck. Sean could not remember much from his dream. Still, he did recognize one thing. The large boulder of guilt that resided in his gut, was now reduced to the size of a small rock. It's still there, making itself known. It is, however, nowhere near as big as it once was. Maybe, just maybe…

This is the turning point.

Notes:

I really like how this chapter turned out. I kinda felt like Daniel deserved a bit of a break for a while, so I figured I might as well make something like this. Then again, perhaps I'm doing it for a reason?

Or, you know... not?

I wasn't kidding around when I said I would be using "personal experiences" for this fic. Daniel's completely isolated in his house, especially in his room. Also, Daniel begs Sean to kill him. As insane as it sounds, all of that applies to me around 2008-2010. I don't remember much, and it's probably for the best I believe. Epilepsy is a bitch.

The dream sequence got rewritten twice. At first, I had one for Sean and one for Daniel. Each of them gets help with their guilt. Then I scrapped Daniel's version since this is more of a "Sean" chapter. That chapter had a whole bunch of scenarios where Sean would be shown scenarios of "what could have been" from other fics of mine (Wolf Brigade & LIC). Eventually, I felt like it got a bit out of hand, and had no real purpose in this fic. I still like the concept, and might do it another time though.

Oh, and one last note: Karen is still around, I just had no place for her in this chapter...

Anyway, feel free to leave a comment below.

Enjoy!

K. S.

Normal.
You cannot remember what it felt like.

Not a day goes by.
You scream in pain.
Begging for an end.
Fading away.

However...

Today was different.
You felt happy.
You felt excited.
You felt rejuvenated.
You felt like Daniel Felipe Diaz.

Words could not explain how you felt.
You laughed.
And you loved every moment of it.
You officially forgave your idol for what happened.
He made today happen.

And today.
Today gave you hope.

Amethyst and flowers on the table.
Is it real or a fable?
Spirit of my silence.
I can hear you.
What is that song you sing for the dead?

Chapter 15: The Unholy Alliance

Summary:

Daniel's once again asked by his dream-self to "join him". Only this time, he tries a different tactic, and the results are unexpected...

Notes:

Sorry for the lack of updates, I'll explain further down.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Ground zero…

Daniel's back again. The place where it all began. Just like all other times, he walks to the center of the skate park while doing his best to ignore the darkness which threatens to swallow him whole. For what must be the fiftieth time, Daniel kneels to grab the metal rail that crushed his skull on that fateful day. The boy sighed deeply as it all happened again. Dream or not, he felt sick of it.

The wolf howl in the distance that always gave him chills once again echoes throughout the area. Daniel looks down, discovering to no surprise whatsoever that his hands are covered in blood. And then came the footsteps…

Slow and soft footsteps, closed in on him. He knew more than well what awaited him if he was to turn around. Daniel had tried everything over the last months when this dream occurred. Everything, but none of it worked.

Daniel tried to run, but the shadow was faster.

Daniel tried to fight, but the shadow was stronger.

At one point, Daniel even sat on the cold ground with his eyes closed while whimpering two words repeatedly.

"Not real." But it felt so real.

"Daniel." The familiar demonic voice called his name. He wanted to run but knew it would do him no good. Daniel remains with his back to the shadow.

"It is time for you…" Before the shadow could finish its sentence, however, the young wolf came to a realization.

He's done the opposite of what the shadow wants him to do, and he's done it in hopes of getting better in real life. Where did it get him? It got him to a point where he can't even do basic things, like understanding words. That's where it got him. Perhaps the shadow's got a point? Either way, Daniel's got little to lose at this point. After all, this is probably just a weird dream with zero impact on his real-life… probably.

"Join me." Daniel finished the sentence for his shadow counterpart before he turned around to face his fears. No longer did he look at a massive, demonic shadow. Daniel looked at a carbon copy of himself, and the carbon copy looked right back at him.

"Yes, Daniel, join me." If only the voice would disappear too.

"Why?" For once, Daniel genuinely asks it, instead of just screaming it.

"Your pain, and your suffering? I cannot fix those, but I can show you how to live with them." His shadow twin extended a hand.

"Take my hand, Daniel. Embrace who you've become, accept yourself, and accept what happened." Daniel ponders the idea while staring at the hand offered to him. He's accepted what happened, that much he's certain of.

However…

He's only accepted the person he's become to a very small extent. And that extent isn't helping him much. Maybe if he learned to live with it, he won't be so dependent on Sean for everything.

Fuck it.

"Ok. I'll join you." Daniel shook the hand in front of him, causing several things to happen at once.

The darkness began to fade away, in favor of a sunrise on the horizon. The temperature went from freezing to something much more pleasant. The fear that always resided in Daniel's chest during these dreams just… disappeared.

"Great job, little cub. I'm proud of you, we're all proud of you. Welcome to your new life." His shadow twin smiled at him. The demonic voice was no more, replaced by a voice more similar to that of his own. Could this be-

His turning point?

A few hours later…

Daniel slowly began to wake up. The very second he opened his eyes, Daniel could feel that something was different. A knot formed in his stomach while the wheels began to turn once more. What is it this time?

Paralysis?

Kidney failure?

Swine-flu?

With great care, Daniel starts moving his body in hopes that his first guess is wrong. His hands and arms seem fine, leaving only his legs.

"Fuck." Daniel curses himself. He had such a great time with Sean yesterday, but it just had to come at a cost, didn't it?

"Wait-" Something's not right… or, well, it's something. He's not paralyzed which felt like a relief, but still, there's that feeling of something being off. He just couldn't place it. Daniel sets it aside for later, instead deciding to continue with his morning routine.

Step one: Stretch his legs and arms. It always hurt when he did it. On a good day, it would only hurt a little. On a bad day, however, the pain would sometimes cause him to scream. Still, it's the easiest way to figure out what kind of day this is going to be. Recently, every day's been a bad one except for yesterday. Slowly, Daniel stretches out his arms and legs, waiting for that one spot where the pain would hit him with full force.

Except that it didn't.

"What the fuck?" Daniel mumbles in a combination of surprise and confusion. It didn't hurt. Why didn't it hurt?

Also, why the fuck is he even asking himself that question? It's not like he wants to be in pain. Daniel sits up on the side of the bed, carefully taking his time like always.

That's when it hit him with full force.

"Wow…" He felt a sense of clarity, unlike anything he's experienced in a long time. The Daniel Diaz that just got out of bed, is far from the Daniel Diaz that went to bed last night. No longer did his body ache, his mind worked with him, instead of against him. Daniel looks around his room, attempting to understand what's happening to him.

Is he dead?

Yeah, he must be dead.

Wait-

Daniel heard faint sounds from the living room. Sean's watching something on television, and Daniel could not only hear it but understand it as well. Without bothering to change out of his pajamas, Daniel stands up to exit his room.

"The fuck's happening?" The boy mumbled in pure shock as he walked unhindered for the first time in ages. His legs were stiff and weak, and his balance wasn't great, but he could walk again. Daniel Diaz could actually do something again. He slowly makes his way to the living room. Sean has yet to notice his presence. Daniel can't exactly blame him for it either. Nobody expected him to go anywhere on his own nowadays, least of all himself.

"Sean?" It sounded very different in his mind. Daniel wanted to scream his brother's name before running to him and hugging him. The lone word, however, could barely be heard. It sounded more like a frightening call for help. Then again, Daniel would be lying if he said that he wasn't afraid right now. He had no idea why this was happening right now, or if it was good or bad.

"Daniel?!" Sean went from half asleep to eyes wide in shock as he saw his younger brother.

"Is- is everything alright?" Daniel didn't know the answer to that question. At least, not until he saw the look on Sean's face. A combination of shock, fear, and most of all, hope. The last part was all Daniel needed.

Hope.

That confirmed it. Whatever this is, it's something good.

"It's-" Daniel tries to say something before bursting into tears. He could feel Sean's arms around him within a second.

"I know, Enano, I know." Only now did Daniel truly hear how broken his older brother sounded. How did he not hear it before?

"It's great, Sean. Great." Daniel cries out the words with only a slight stutter to them, instead of the words just disappearing into nothingness.

Great. A word not used by Daniel for a long time.

Sean listened to his brother as he explained everything to him. At first, Sean believed it to be another stage of denial, but he couldn't argue with the results. The amount of pain Daniel's been having isn't something denial can fix overnight.

"I don't even know what to say, Daniel. That's- that's amazing." Sean's close to tears, Daniel could see it. Daniel, however, could feel something else.

"Sean, I'm hungry." Without even thinking about it, Daniel used his whiny, please-give-me-stuff tone of old. To say it brought a smile to Sean's face would be putting it mildly.

"You really do feel good, huh? Alright, I'll fix you something." Sean laughed as he went to the kitchen. Daniel remained on the couch, waiting. He tried to watch television, but whatever show that was on, bored him to death.

"Huh, weird." Daniel thought as he found himself annoyed by the smaller things in life again, such as being bored. On the table in front of him, however, he sees a distraction.

A pen and paper.

He felt that familiar itch in his fingers, telling him to draw something, draw anything, just to kill time. Daniel, however, also felt that fear. The familiar sense of fear, telling him to not push the boundaries, not take things too far because he might not like the results.

He could go for it. But if he fails, and still can't draw for shit, then all of this is just his mind playing tricks on him… again.

Daniel could ignore it, and try to forget about it, however, that itch won't just go away because of it. Besides, he would spend the rest of his life wondering what could have been.

"Fuck it," Daniel mumbled as he reached for the pen and paper.

"You say something, Enano?" Sean called for him from the kitchen.

"Nothing, Sean." Daniel smiled before returning to his empty paper. What should he draw? His environment hasn't exactly been that inspiring over the last few months, to say the least. All because of his goddamn condition.

Wait.

That's it.

His condition.

Daniel gets to work while making things up on the fly. Although he's a very different person today, compared to the crippled boy from yesterday, Daniel still remembers everything. He remembered how the words he heard just began to mix into each other, and how he had trouble remembering people's faces. The question is, how can he show it on this drawing?

"Ok, Daniel, it's time to eat." Well, he can think something up later. It's been a long time since he felt this hungry. Sean joins him on the couch, giving him a plate with some bacon on it. For a short while, Daniel almost felt nostalgic. It was as if none of this ever happened like they were back to the good ol' days. Sean even changed the channel, putting on an episode of Hawt-Dawg-Man instead, just like they used to do on the weekends.

They eat in relative silence. Sean's still in shock and feels the tables have finally turned. His little brother sank to the bottom of the ocean, almost drowned, only to swim back to the surface again. It left a mark on mind, body, and soul alike, but he came to the surface stronger than ever before.

"Thanks, Sean." Daniel leaves the empty plate on the table. Back in the day, Sean would have scolded him for not taking it back to the kitchen. Now he's just happy to see Daniel being Daniel again.

"No problem, Enano. I'm just glad you're feeling better. Hey- where are you going?" Sean asked as Daniel stood up.

"I'm going to the bathroom, Sean, jeez." Daniel rolled his eyes in a way that reminded Sean a little too much of his seizures. Still, he made no mention of it as Daniel walked away.

Daniel had no mirrors in his room, and he rarely left it nowadays. Especially since he needed help with some of the most basic things in life, but the less he thought of that the better. The young wolf hasn't looked himself in a mirror for months. He now stands in the bathroom of the Diaz residence, studying the person who looks back at him.

"Shit…" That's one way to put it. His hair reached his fucking shoulders, he's a lot taller than he used to be, he's lost so much weight, and not to mention-

The scar.

He shouldn't hide it anymore. Besides, what's the point in hiding something when everyone already knows it's there? Daniel grabs an electronic razor and takes a deep breath.

"Here goes nothing." Daniel went for his old haircut but found out the hard way that it's much more difficult than it looks. The result, however, wasn't too bad. He kind of had a haircut similar to Sean, only slightly shorter. Now he could see it clear as day. A large scar, beginning just above his forehead, going back towards his left ear. It ran across half his skull. Daniel pressed a finger against it while holding his breath as if he expected to faint.

He felt nothing.

"Strange…" Daniel takes one final look at himself in the mirror before finally accepting the fact that this is who he is now. Denial, anger, fear, and false hope. Daniel's experienced it all, but only now has he truly accepted his situation, and with it, his condition. A sense of peace appeared in his heart while spreading to his gut, his throat, and-

"Oh, fuck-" Without any kind of warning, Daniel felt today's breakfast coming back the same way it came in. he barely got to the toilet in time. Daniel threw up to the point where it hurt. After he's gotten it out of his system, he leaned against the wall, feeling how large beads of sweat poured down his face.

"Hey, Daniel? Is everything alright in there?" Sean knocks on the door with a very worried tone. Daniel sprung to life in an instant.

He should tell Sean the truth. Sean's his brother, his idol, and his protector. He would know what to do, and how to make it better. Daniel knows this to be a reasonable thing for everyone involved.

However…

Daniel also knows how much Sean's suffering from taking care of him. The dark bags under his eyes, the plastic smile, and the poorly concealed hope he showed today. Sean needs hope to get through this. What kind of brother would Daniel be if he puts this burden on Sean's shoulders, only for it to turn out to be nothing?

"I'm fine, Sean, I'm just gonna take a shower real quick." To get rid of the smell. He probably ate too much, that's all. Yeah, too much, and too fast.

"Ok. Just keep the door unlocked in case, you know, buddy?" Fuck's sake, it's not like he's going to fall or something.

"I will, Sean, don't worry." He could hear his older brother walk away. Daniel sighed as he leaned forward while putting his hands on his knees.

"Deep breaths, dude, deep breaths. You've barely eaten anything in weeks, and now you ate like, half a pig with fried fucking butter, of course, you're gonna throw up." Daniel manages to convince himself that there's nothing to worry about. All so he can save Sean from worrying about him any longer. With his breath back to normal, and his body temperature doing the same, Daniel stood up to face the mirror.

"Nothing to worry about, dude. You're fine." The boy in the mirror looked the same as before, just with shorter hair.

However…

So did the identical boy that stood next to him. Was he seeing double?

Yes. Yes, he was.

"What the-" Daniel shook his head rapidly, trying to rid himself of whatever this hallucination is. He closed his eyes, he slapped himself in the face, he splashed water on his face, and yet it changed nothing. Everything around him existed in twice the amount.

"What the fuck?! What the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck?!" Daniel whispered as he felt his pulse increase. Then he felt something. It only lasted for about two seconds, but it was more than enough.

He felt the most surreal pain in his head, unlike anything he's ever experienced before in his life. He wanted to scream, but the pain kept him from screaming. His legs wanted to give in, but the pain kept them frozen in place. His face poured with both sweat and tears.

Then it disappeared, taking the double sight and nausea with it.

Just like that. Gone just as fast as it appeared.

Daniel could not deny it. This had nothing to do with him eating too much. This is bad. Very bad. However, Daniel began to feel guilt for relying so much on Sean, therefore, Daniel made a decision that could have a major impact on the wolfbrothers future.

The boy spent over an hour sitting under the cold shower, crying in silence. When he left, however, his new promise was in full effect.

"Sean can never know about this. I'll do anything to make him happy." Daniel's got every intention of living up to that promise. What scares him, however, is the fact that he's got no idea what "anything" means for him. But something tells him that he's about to find out.

Very soon…

Notes:

I want to apologize for the (severe) lack of updates recently. As of yesterday, I'm on a two-week, semi-forced vacation (yes, vacation. Not suspended lol), so I guess that says quite a lot about my mental state lately. While I'm obviously going to catch up on some lost sleep, I will definitely get some writing done as well. Hopefully, this story will get finished during that timespan. Also, I want to say thank you to everyone that gives me kind comments during a time (like now) when I feel down.

Onto the story itself. This is now closing in on the ending. With this chapter being number 15, I'll say that it won't be 20 chapters in this one (maybe 2 plus author's notes). Daniel's getting better (or is he?), and Sean feels genuine hope (but should he?). I know that some stuff might sound a little far-fetched, like Daniel waking up with no pain whatsoever, but everything will be explained in due time. Trust me...

Daniel's dream has one very simple theme which is acceptance. His dream-self asks Daniel to "join me" and by joining him, Daniel would be accepting his limitations, and with it, his condition. That's why he's been running in the past because a part of him was still in denial about it. Now, however, he feels that he can't lose anything else, so he joins him, and therefore accepts himself for who he is now.

I know a thing or two about denial and how long it takes for you to realize fully what's happening, so the concept isn't very far-fetched.

Also, Daniel "worries" about a lot of everyday things in this chapter, such as being bored, and asking Sean to make breakfast. It's a way to show that he's feeling well enough to act "normal" while also realizing how much Sean's struggling to keep things together for his sake. And that's why Daniel's prepared to do the same for him.

Feel free to leave a comment down below.

Enjoy!

K. S.

Beaten.
Broken.
A shell of your past self.

Now...
... The tables have turned.

You feel reborn.
Like a new person.
You believe victory is near.
No matter the troubling signs.

The reaper of grim.
Your enemy.
He plays a foul game.
And you?
You're next on his hit list.

Be careful, Daniel.
A fall on this finish line...
... Can be your last.

Spirit of my silence I can hear you.
What is that song you sing for the dead?
Well I suppose a friend is a friend.
And we all know how this will end.
You'll never see us again.

Chapter 16: Flipping The Switch

Summary:

Daniel gets stronger every day, however, so do the symptoms he's been experiencing. Is it really a good idea to keep this a secret?

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

December 18th, 2016…

Days turned to weeks and Christmas was just around the corner. For Daniel Diaz, however, Christmas came early this year. Every day he woke up, feeling much better than the day before. For the first time in ages, he felt like he could do things on his own like he didn't have to be afraid anymore.

He enjoyed the fact that Sean looked well-rested these days, instead of a walking corpse. Daniel loves the attention people give him and the looks that follow him around. No longer do people look at him with pity. They look at him and smile in pure joy because they're proud of him. Proud that he managed to get through this horrible ordeal.

And Daniel always returns that smile. Today, he walked outside by himself. Just for a few minutes in the yard while grabbing some snow, but he still had a good time. Sean had asked him if he needed any help with his boots, but Daniel declined, telling Sean that he could do it. Putting them on wasn't difficult.

Taking them off, however, is a whole different story.

Daniel goes inside his home which feels more like a prison these days. He's only spent a few minutes outside but feels so exhausted that he can barely open the door by himself. Still, he swore that Sean would never know. Once inside, Daniel takes off his jacket before sighing heavily.

"Fuck." He bends over, attempting to untie his shoelaces. The moment he does it, the room starts to spin. Daniel kicks out of his shoes as he leans against the wall.

"Breathe… breathe…" He tells himself repeatedly as he heard footsteps approaching.

"Hey, Enano. Did you have a good time outside?" Daniel pressed an invisible button, switching off whatever side effects he clearly imagined himself to be having right now. Instead, he puts on the most convincing plastic smile a child could ever have.

"Yeah, Sean. It feels good to be outside again." The moment he said it, Daniel saw how Sean's face practically beamed with joy. Daniel felt guilty for lying to Sean, but at the same time, he felt a sense of pride knowing he made his brother feel that. He sometimes wondered if Sean felt the same internal conflict when he lied to Daniel to make him feel better.

"That's great, Daniel. I'm glad you're doing better now, bro." Yeah… better.

"Thanks, Sean, me too." He recognized the signs by now, and he knew he had to get out of here and into his room.

"My clothes are soaked, Sean, I'm gonna get changed. I'll be right back, ok." Sean didn't answer him, and neither did Daniel expect him to do so. Had Sean paid more attention, however, he would have noticed that Daniel's clothes are dry.

Daniel enters his room while locking the door behind him. Nowadays, Sean didn't care if he locked the door. Just to be safe, Daniel puts on some music at a semi-high volume. Then, he waits.

It starts like something much more harmless. The first thing he noticed in the pattern was the dizziness from a few minutes ago. Therefore, it shouldn't be much longer until it happens.

Daniel sighed when he felt it. His neck stiffened to the point where he couldn't move his head, and then, his field of view doubled as his pulse increased. In preparation for what's to come, Daniel lies on the bed while pressing his face into a pillow.

"Don't scream, don't scream, don't scream," Daniel repeated the mantra, over and over again in his head.

"Sean can't know, he can never know." At first, it just tickled a little. It felt like someone poked his orbital bone with their index finger. Like an invisible itch that won't go away. After a few seconds, however, the itch got worse on a massive scale. A high-pitched, ringing sound, threatened to explode his eardrums while an invisible force impaled his skull repeatedly. Daniel pressed his face into the pillow to stop himself from screaming. The amount of pain he felt prevented him from breathing, and it felt so surreal.

Then it disappeared.

Same thing every time. Ten seconds of the most unholy pain in the entire universe, only for it to evaporate on the eleventh second. Daniel remained still for a few moments, allowing himself to catch his breath. Slowly, the boy lifts his tired head from the pillow while dragging a palm across his forehead.

That's when he saw it.

"Oh, shit-" Daniel didn't mean to say it out loud, but he couldn't stop himself when he saw it.

Blood.

The pillow he buried his face in, is soaked in blood. He didn't bite his tongue, so this could mean only one thing.

He just threw up blood.

Daniel threw up blood, and he didn't even know it.

He should talk to Sean about this. Hell, he should have talked to Sean long ago. But he can't. He can't because Sean's so happy. The last thing Daniel wants to do is ruin his brother's newfound hope. Besides, telling Sean about all this would make it… real. It would mean that he hasn't gotten any better over the last few weeks. Just worse, like always. It would ruin his own newfound hope as well if he told Sean what was going on.

Looks like Daniel's staying up late tonight. After everyone's asleep, he'll sneak out with the bloody pillow, and throw it in the neighbor's trash. Just like he had to do with that T-shirt a few days ago. What the fuck happened to his life.

"I'm sorry, Sean. I just don't want you to worry about me anymore. You deserve better." Daniel whispered in silence as he reminded himself of just why he was doing this.

Meanwhile…

He had trouble believing it at first. Why would Daniel be magically healthy overnight? It made no sense, it had no logic, and it wasn't medically possible. Sean repeatedly told himself that for days. In the end, he came to one final conclusion.

"It makes no sense, it has no logic, and it shouldn't be possible… but it fucking happened. I got my little brother back." The realization made it possible for Sean to rid himself of the final traces of guilt from that day. Slowly, he saw how his little brother became more and more independent. Sean, however, needed some time to get used to the fact that Daniel wasn't a fragile child that could break at any moment. He is still worried about him. Granted, he worried about him before everything went south, but that's what brothers do.

Eventually, Sean realized that Daniel's able to take care of himself again. The kid's not returned to his old self, but if he keeps this up, he'll be there in no time. Sean spent his days relaxing, catching up on some well-deserved sleep, and maybe watching some boring Netflix show. It felt good to be himself again. Daniel's condition has left a large scar on Sean as well. A scar that may never fully heal, but at least it doesn't hurt anymore.

Today, however, is not a day for sleeping or watching Netflix. Today is a day for thinking. To be precise, today is a day for backtracking. Sean thought back to what happened that day, how stupid he was, and everything that happened in the aftermath.

Daniel hit his head because Sean wasn't paying attention to him for ten seconds. Then, he refused to take him to the hospital because he was afraid that their father would get angry at him which ended up happening anyway. A stupid, reckless, and selfish act. No more, and no less. Then, Sean thought about all he did in the aftermath.

He spent his entire days at home, watching over his little brother. Sean stayed with him on the good days when he could still go outside, and on the bad days when he begged Sean to kill him. Sean would be lying if he said that he never considered it. No child should be in so much pain that he begs for death. Sometimes, it felt like Daniel would have been better off dead. Sean hasn't told anyone about that and has every intention of taking that secret to the grave.

He remembers the anger he felt when Daniel got attacked by Brett Foster. How he believed himself to be standing up for his brother when all he did was assault and threaten another person. An asshole of a person, but a person nonetheless.

Last, but certainly not least. Sean made peace with his mother, so Daniel could meet her just once in his life. That brings him to today.

Karen Reynolds didn't leave them again. She's still around, visiting every other day or so. It felt strange to have her inside the house. Not bad, just strange. Unlike Daniel, Sean's old enough to remember when she used to live here. Still, he couldn't deny the fact that it felt good to have her back in his life.

"Oh, shit…" Sean's eyes widened as a smile grew on his face. He just realized something. And for once, it's actually something good. Hell, great even.

Esteban and Karen.

Sean and Daniel.

Arriving later today, Claire, Stephen, and Chris.

"Damn, dude…" Sean felt almost nostalgic on the inside.

Grandmother and grandfather.

Mother and father.

Wolf, cub, and honorary cub.

This Christmas would be either the most awkward gathering in history, or it would become absolutely perfect. Either way, it would be the first time in eight years that the entire family gathered under the same roof. Also, eight years ago, Daniel was a baby, so it's more than that.

This is the first time his family would feel complete.

Later that day…

Daniel could breathe a sigh in relief, knowing the evidence is temporarily disposed of. Still, it didn't make the real problem go away. Why is this happening, and what if anything, can he do about it? This shit's driving him insane. He needs to vent his fear, his frustration somewhere, but he can't. Daniel knows he can't talk to Sean or his parents about it because telling one of them would be like telling all of them. Plus, it would start the vicious cycle of unpleasant examinations yet again.

"This sucks." Daniel sighed while looking out the window. Across the street, he could see his friend Noah playing with some other kid he didn't recognize. Noah used to be his best friend in Seattle. Seems like Daniel's already been replaced by some random kid. Then again, he couldn't really blame him either. Sure, he could go outside too, but he would be exhausted by the time he got there.

"I miss having friends…" Daniel had no intentions of saying it out loud, but he did, and it sounded so sad. He keeps looking at his former friend with a combination of jealousy and hurt.

"This Christmas is gonna suck." Daniel sighed as he pushed back his tears.

"Hey, Daniel?" Sean knocked on his door while sounding a bit… strange. Almost as if he tried to hold back a fit of laughter.

"Yeah, come in, Sean." Once again, Daniel flipped on the switch, acting like everything's fine, and like he didn't feel betrayed by one of the few friends he had. The door opened and Daniel turned around to sit at the side of the bed.

Sean, however, wasn't the one who entered.

In front of him, stood a blonde-haired boy of the same age. The boy desperately tried to hide the shock he displayed upon seeing Daniel's physical transformation for the worse. His hands trembled, and he seemed uncertain of what to do next.

"H- hi, Superwolf." The boy slowly waved his hand while smiling.

"Do you-" The boy closed his eyes while taking a few deep breaths.

"Do you know who I am? Can you remember me, Daniel?" The young wolf studied the other boy in silence for what felt like an eternity. Eventually, the hand ceased to wave, and the smile faded away.

Daniel felt like he deserved that for even asking such a retarded question.

"CHRIS!" Daniel rushed towards his friend, his best friend, proceeding to wrap his arms around him. Chris Eriksen did not wait to return the favor.

"Daniel! You- you-" Chris struggles to find the right words, so Daniel says it for him.

"Look like shit? Yeah, I know. I'm glad to see you too." Chris looked at him as if he didn't know if he should laugh or not.

"I- I was gonna say that you remember me…" Daniel's not sure if he should feel good or bad about it. It feels good that he remembers Chris, someone he hasn't seen since before all of this. What doesn't feel good, however, is the fact that people obviously expect him to forget who they are. He decides to leave that discussion for another time.

"Of course, I remember you…" Daniel moves closer to Chris's ear before whispering.

"Captain Spirit." In the background, Daniel could see Sean crying along with his grandparents as well. Right now, he couldn't care less about either of them. It's official now.

This is going to be the best Christmas ever.

Notes:

This is the second-last chapter of the story, not counting the author's notes. Here, I wanted to show how both brothers feel at the moment. Sean feels at peace, slowly returning to a more normal life without any guilt. Also, he has no clue about Daniel hiding something from him since he just wants to see the good side of things whenever possible.

Daniel can feel how he gets better and stronger, but also how those brief moments of pain get worse. The fact that he recognizes a pattern in it means that he's had it quite a few times, to say the least. He's afraid of what it means, but he doesn't want to feel like a burden again. He can see how happy Sean is, and he doesn't want to ruin that. Therefore, Daniel chooses to be silent, and pretend like it never happened because maybe if he can fool Sean, he can fool himself.

Also, damn that last part with Daniel looking out the window really hurt to write. And yes, Chris is officially an "honorary cub" because why not? The question is, can Daniel fool him as well, or shall Superwolf break?

Please leave a comment below.

Enjoy!

K. S.

Tick tock...
Tick tock...
I gave you an offer.
You accepted.

I helped you.
You feel strong.
Do you not?
Hmm...

I gave you something.
It is only fair.
That you return the favor.
Do not be afraid, little one.

The clock is ticking.
Soon.
Your suffering shall end.
Merry Christmas, Daniel...

Tick tock...
Tick tock...
Tick tock...
Tick tock...

GONG!
GONG!
GONG!
GONG!

Chapter 17: Tranquillity

Summary:

Christmas is almost here. Can Daniel keep the secret from his entire family, and best friend?

Notes:

A long final chapter, but here it is.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

December 23rd, 2016 — The day before Christmas…

Daniel's not used to having this many people in his home. His mother and father, his grandparents, his brother, and his best friend. Back in the day, this would probably have been the best thing to ever happen to him. To some extent, he felt like that was the case. He's going to spend this Christmas, surrounded by all the people he loves and cares about. What more could he ask?

Well…

With so many people around, Daniel had a difficult time, hiding it. Everyone thought he was recovering, and in a way, they weren't wrong. His body felt better every time he woke up. Unfortunately, it came at a price. Daniel could have an entire day when he almost felt like he used to. He almost felt normal.

Then the pain hit him. Lately, it usually came at night. Daniel would wake up covered in sweat, with pain so horrible, it felt like his nerves were on fire. The boy never made a sound. Now, he's more silent than ever before since Chris sleeps on a mattress in his room. He doesn't want his friend to worry about him. Daniel knows why Chris doesn't spend Christmas at home with his dad. Make no mistake about it, Daniel's happy to have him here, but he feels sorry for him.

Daniel thought it would make him feel better, to have Chris around. To an extent, it did. Mostly, however, it only made things worse. Almost five days have passed, and none of them dare to mention the massive elephant in the room. None of them dare to talk about Daniel's condition.

Daniel wants to talk about it. Hell, he needs to talk about it. But, he's afraid to break Chris by putting such a burden on his shoulders. Meanwhile, Chris's afraid to ask because he's confident Daniel doesn't want to talk about it like he doesn't want to talk about his situation at home. Both of them have spent the last few days, silently ignoring it.

However…

Chris saw things differently than the rest of the family. Sean and Esteban both held onto the newfound glimpse of hope they managed to find. Claire and Stephen are old and religious. Whenever something bad happens, it's the devil's work, and if something good happens, it's a miracle. Chris couldn't decipher Karen though. He could, however, read Daniel with ease.

But he wished that he couldn't.

Although most people see him as a brother to Daniel, Chris isn't family. But he's known Daniel his entire life, and in this situation, he sees what others don't. He sees how Daniel sometimes struggles to walk, talk, and even pay attention during a normal conversation. Claire and Stephen had told him to expect similar things, so even if it made him sad, he wasn't shocked.

Then he saw other signs. Bad signs.

He didn't know what time it was, just that it was really late, and everyone else was asleep. Chris, however, was not. Something woke him up. He turned his head around the dark room while wondering why he was just woken up. Nobody's here, and he didn't have a bad dream.

That's when he heard it.

A faint, whimpering sound to his right. Barely audible, but it's there. Taking great care not to make a sound, Chris turned to his side to look at Daniel.

"He's probably just having a nightmare. Can't say I blame him." Chris wished that he was right about that. The moment he saw Daniel, he realized that this was far from a nightmare. Daniel has his back against Chris, meaning he could not see his friend's face. However, he didn't need to see his face to know how bad this was.

Chris could see and almost hear it too, how Daniel's body tensed itself in pain that he couldn't even imagine. He panicked. Chris wanted to help, but how? Can he even do something? No, he can't. He should go get someone, that's what he should do. But he can't. He may not suffer from any form of condition, but Chris Eriksen's still a traumatized boy.

He's walked in on his father, more than once, unconscious on the floor, convulsing due to alcohol poisoning. All of those times, he felt useless because he couldn't do anything to help. So he just lay there in silence, desperately hoping for his friend to wake up from whatever curse this was.

Ten seconds later, Daniel went silent. His breath slowly returned to normal, and the physical pain was replaced by a mental one as Daniel began to cry. Chris should say something, anything to comfort him. What kind of friend would he be if he didn't?

"They can't know. You can't be a burden anymore." He heard Daniel whisper between tears. That's when he realized the implications of those words. He knew that this wasn't something new. This was something Daniel had kept from everyone, including Chris, to not be a burden. Chris had sworn to talk to Daniel about it in the morning to find out the truth.

That was three nights ago. He still hasn't talked with Daniel. Now, however, he feels like something must be done. Last night, Daniel got out of bed and threw up. It sounded painful, and it took a long time before he got back. This has gone way too far. He must get Daniel outside, so they can talk in peace.

Meanwhile…

Daniel mentally sighed as he entered the bathroom. The boy turned on the shower, however, Daniel had no intentions of getting in there. Officially, he took one shower every day because that's what you do, right? Unofficially, however, things were far more complicated.

He didn't shower every day. He didn't because he couldn't. Sure, he felt better now, compared to a few months ago, but he still got exhausted very fast. Everyone around him creates new impressions that he's not used to which only serves to exhaust him even further. Worst of all is the mental toll the secrecy takes on him. The cover-up, the lies, and the guilt he feels. The mind, body, and soul of Daniel Diaz are about to hit a brick wall.

With the shower running, it means Daniel's got about thirty minutes. He doesn't sleep well anymore, so he'll take whatever chance he can get. Daniel knows that he can't say that he's tired all the time since it would only make people worry about him. He puts a towel on the floor, the alarm on his phone to thirty minutes, and lies down. It's uncomfortable, it smells, and it hurts. Daniel, however, fell asleep immediately.

Bzzt… bzzt…

"Fuck you too…" Daniel could've sworn that he just fell asleep. His aching body, however, suggests otherwise. He gets up and puts his head in the shower to get his hair wet, so the lie stays alive.

"What the fuck-" From nowhere, his field of view decreased by half. His right eye didn't see shit. Daniel tried to blink, he tried to fucking poke at it, but nothing happened. He felt the panic, building up inside his gut.

Then, his vision returned. Like it never happened. But Daniel knows he did not simply imagine this. He looks at his mirror image, noticing how the eyes look identical to each other.

"Get out of there. Fucking… get out of there, please." Daniel pleads to whatever is residing within his rotting brain.

"Yeah. Well, fuck you then." Daniel mutters before leaving the bathroom. After changing into some clean clothes, Chris entered the room.

Well… shit.

Daniel might be suffering from major brain damage, however, he could still see it from a mile away.

He knows.

For how long, Daniel cannot be sure. Either way, he did not attempt to hide it now. Chris sits down next to him, and they both felt the awkward silence in the room as both hoped for the other to speak first.

"Daniel, can we- can we go outside?" Not exactly what he expected to hear. Still, the answer remains the same.

"I don't know, Chris, it's… hard." Daniel's not lying here. Going outside takes an even greater effort than actually being outside for him. It's why he hasn't left the house since Chris got here. Daniel, however, doesn't want to admit that much. Instead, he settles for hard. Maybe Chris doesn't know everything? Maybe he'll settle with that answer and back down.

"It's ok, Daniel. Captain Spirit can help you." The smile on Chris's face told Daniel all he needed to know. Not only does Chris know everything, but he's also willing to help him get through it.

"You- you mean it?" Daniel couldn't even look his friend in the eyes. He felt so ashamed for even asking it.

"Of course, Daniel. Come on, let's go." Chris offers him a helping hand which Daniel takes without hesitation.

It's a good thing that Sean was still asleep. Helping Daniel get ready was a process, to say the least. It scared him a lot more than he wanted to admit. Daniel had seemed so strong when he got here, but the reality is so very different. It's all a facade, and Chris is the only one to see through it. Still, after a lot of swearing, the boys are now heading outside.

"Shouldn't you wear these?" Chris points at a pair of sunglasses while he opens the door.

"They don't help anymore," Daniel mumbled as he followed Chris outside.

The boys went outside. It's a beautiful day with a clear blue sky, and bright sun. It's cold, but not too cold. Still, Daniel felt blinded by blizzards while his body shivered in the cold.

"Come on, Daniel. We can sit down here." Chris points at a tree while motioning for him to sit down. Every step hurts, and he wants nothing more than to just lay down and surrender himself to whatever fate awaits him.

"Do you… need any help?" Chris asks him carefully.

"No. I can sit down, but I need help up sometimes." Daniel deadpans before clumsily sitting down with his back against the tree. His joints ached, and his bones cracked with every move.

"Oh-" Chris seemed like he wanted to say something, but he just didn't know what. Instead, he sits down next to his friend on the cold ground. Daniel knows what's coming. He knows it, and he wants to avoid it at all costs. Putting that burden on Chris, just wouldn't feel right.

"So, what should we do, Chris?" Daniel asked in hopes that Chris would take the bait.

"Daniel-" Chris sighed painfully, causing the young wolf to panic.

"No, Chris, I- I mean it. We're out here now, so let's do something, right?" Daniel tries so hard to sound cheerful. Instead, he manages to sound like a desperate fool on his last few breaths.

"You don't have to-" Chris tried, but Daniel interrupted him.

"But I'm fine, Chris. I wanna do stuff, come on." Chris turned to him with a sad look in his eyes.

"Daniel, why are you lying to me?" The words hit him like a slap in the face. The young wolf fell silent as he realized that he failed to hide it.

"They don't see it, you know. All they see is how you're getting better. But I see it, and I can hear it too, Daniel. You're in pain, and I hate it. I just- I don't know how to help you." Fuck. He should have known. Chris has heard everything since he got here.

"You didn't… tell anyone, did you?" Daniel couldn't even look his friend in the eyes. He felt so ashamed for causing him so much pain.

"No, Daniel. Not yet, at least." Chris told him with a deep sigh. Daniel could finally look at him.

"Thanks, Chris. I- I don't want people to worry about me." He regretted the words the second they escaped his cursed mouth. Chris's eyes widened as he took on a more confused look.

"What? Why wouldn't you want them to know? They're your family, Daniel. They love you." Shit. This is why he didn't want Chris to carry this burden. On the other hand, Daniel really needs to lighten his own burden.

Fuck it.

"I just-" Daniel's voice broke, and he paused to take a few breaths.

"It's ok. Take your time, I won't go anywhere." Chris calms him down while awaiting his next words.

"I just don't want to feel like a burden to anyone." For the first time since the accident, Daniel spoke the truth. Daniel spoke his truth, from his perspective, and how his life changed because of it.

"Since that accident, I feel like I've ruined everyone's lives. Dad works himself to death, just to pay for my hospital bills and medications, Sean and Lyla aren't friends anymore, and I don't think Sean goes to school either. All they do is look after me because I can't look after myself. I'm the crippled kid with a crippled body, and a fucking… crippled brain." Tears started to pour down Daniel's face as he continued.

"I can't do shit anymore. Sometimes, I don't even understand what they say on television. And then-" Daniel paused for a few seconds while remembering the most painful part.

"Sean disappeared. He left me. Like, I know he went to prison for kinda standing up for me, and I shouldn't be mad at him for it. But, it still hurts, I guess. I felt so alone, and scared." Daniel said in a barely audible tone.

"And now, for a few weeks, I thought that things were getting better. Instead, they got worse." Chris struggled to hold back his tears as his friend struggled to find the right words.

"It's horrible, Chris. It only lasts about ten seconds, but it feels like hours. This ringing sound in my ears, it feels like my eardrums are going to explode. Then it hurts. My head hurt, so much. Sometimes, I can't even breathe. I throw up blood, and- I'm so scared, Chris. I'm so scared because I don't know what this is, but I know it's bad." Chris patiently waited for Daniel to finish talking while attempting to hide his shock.

"I want to tell Sean, I know I should. But I can't. He looks so happy now when he thinks I'm getting better. I- I don't wanna ruin that for him. But I'm so scared, Chris. I'm so scared." Daniel covered his face with his palms as he cried out his pain. Chris didn't hesitate in wrapping his arms around his crying friend.

"It's ok, Daniel. I'll help you, I promise." He just didn't know how. This was worse than he expected. He feels like he's in way over his head. But he'll do anything to help his best and only friend.

"You- you mean it?" Daniel sobbed as he looked into his eyes.

"I promise, Daniel, I'll do everything I can to help you get through this," Chris said with a purpose while releasing Daniel from his arms.

Then…

Chris could see how something bubbled inside Daniel's body. He just didn't have time to figure out what. Daniel froze for less than a second, his face turned more and more red by the second, and his breathing became erratic.

"Chris…" Daniel's voice sounded strained like he was holding something back.

"What's wrong, Daniel?" Chris asked him with concern.

"Please, don't tell Sean." Their eyes met, and it clicked for Chris. He pulled Daniel towards him, letting his friend scream out his unholy pain as he buried his face in Chris's shoulder. No longer did he have to hold back his emotions in fear of someone finding out. He wasn't alone in this unknown battle any longer. This time, Daniel could just let it all out.

And let it out he did.

"It's ok, Daniel. Captain Spirit's here to protect you." Chris whispers to his screaming friend, wishing that someone stood by his side as well, helping him to help Daniel.

Several hours later, the boys were getting ready for bed. Today had been a scary day, in more ways than one. Seeing Daniel in that much pain is the single most horrifying experience in Chris Eriksen's life. On the other hand, Daniel's more willing to ask him for help now, instead of hiding and lying all the time. They both stare emptily at the ceiling, wondering about the implications this day might have for their futures.

"Hey, Daniel?" Chris whispered.

"Yeah?" Daniel remained slightly distant.

"What do you think you'll get for Christmas?" A long silence filled the room as Daniel's eyes widened in shock and realization equally.

"I… don't know, Chris." The truth is, he's been so preoccupied with hiding things that he's not seen what's been in front of his nose the whole time.

Christmas presents…

"Huh. Well, I hope I get the new Powerbear figure, but I'll probably just get socks again." Chris let out a disappointing sigh. Daniel, however, felt something very different.

"I don't know what I'll get, Chris. But, I know what I already have." Chris turned his head towards him tiredly.

"This is gonna be the first Christmas I get to spend with my entire family. Dad, mom, grandma, grandpa, and Sean." Chris looked a bit awkward, and Daniel immediately understood why.

"And me, right?" The tone of his voice suggested Chris was just messing with him. The look on his face, however, told another story.

"Oh, shut up, Chris. You're like a brother to me, and you know it. Hell, you're like an-" Daniel paused for a moment.

"I'm making you an honorary wolfbrother, Chris," Daniel announced to his friend formally. Chris smiled, knowing that Daniel wouldn't do this to anyone he didn't consider a brother.

"I'd like that, Daniel. Thank you." The newly knighted wolfbrother shook the other wolf's paw.

"Goodnight, wolfbrother." One wolf fell asleep within a second.

"Goodnight, wolfbrother." The other wolf, however, continued to stare at the ceiling as his childlike excitement for tomorrow began to make itself known.

December 24th, 2016 — Christmas Eve…

Sean wanted to turn off the alarm and sleep for just a few more hours. But he knew that today was not a day he can waste on sleep. After releasing a heavy sigh, Sean got out of bed. He stops briefly outside Daniel's room. Sean knows that it's not necessary these days, but it's something he does automatically at this point. Still, he could hear nothing but peaceful snoring from the inside.

"It fucking happened. It really fucking happened." Sean mumbles in disbelief. It still feels surreal. Daniel not only made it, but he's improving steadily. That's probably the best Christmas gift he's ever gotten.

So much pain, so much misery, and so many tears. Thinking back to it, Sean can't believe that he held things together. But he did, and it was worth it. Call it a fucking Christmas miracle, but his Enano is back. Also, so is his mom. The last few months have been odd, to say the least. Sean's been in prison, reunited with his mother after eight years, and he's seen his little brother rise from the ashes of defeat.

Sean, however, has paid a hefty price to be able to look after his younger brother. He dropped out of school, got a criminal record, and has a rough future ahead of him. Sometimes, he asks himself if he would do it again if he knew what would happen. The answer never changes.

Yes.

Sean would do everything, all over again in a heartbeat, just to save his little brother. But now, he doesn't need to. Daniel's already saved. Today's not a day for looking back at the darkness that almost swallowed them both. No, today's a day for celebration.

Sean couldn't afford any presents for Daniel, and he knew it. Luckily, their grandparents had some savings. Sean bought Daniel the new PlayBox console along with a few games as well. He knew Daniel would love it. Sean takes a sip from his cup of coffee while looking at the Christmas tree. There are not that many presents under there, and Sean knows why. Nobody could afford any. Still, he can't care less. His brother's on the path to recovery, and that's all he ever wanted.

"We made it, Enano. You made it."

In a room not too far away…

Daniel began to wake up. Today, his body did not ache, nor did his joints crack every time he moved. Today, a different force spread inside the mind of Daniel Diaz. A force infinitely more powerful than any disease or condition known to man. A force that only exists once a year, and is exclusive to children.

The force of Christmas presents.

"Hey-" Daniel looks at Chris, the latter's still sleeping.

"Merry Christmas, wolfbrother." Daniel takes a pillow and throws it to his face.

"Ow, what the-" At first, Chris seemed a bit agitated. Then he realized what day it was.

"Merry Christmas, Daniel." Without another word, they got up and left the room.

"Morning, Sean." Daniel hugs his brother. Something about today felt strange. Like he just woke up from a deep slumber or something. But it felt good. Everything felt good today.

Sean had prepared breakfast for them. Daniel felt like he would starve which wasn't exactly a common thing these days. Sometimes, he'd have to force the food down his throat. But not today.

No, this is a special day, and Daniel knows what he wants to do. After finishing his breakfast, Daniel puts on his clothes to go outside. He takes his time, just in case, but he never felt a thing. Chris seemed to have taken the hint, and was ready to follow him outside. The two boys stood in the middle of the yard, and it was just as beautiful of a day as it was yesterday.

"Daniel? Is everything alright?" Chris asked him with a hint of concern. Daniel just stood there, taking it all in. the sun didn't blind him, the air didn't turn his lungs into a pair of ice bricks, and-

Yeah, everything's fine. Great even. Daniel took a deep breath as he knew what he had to do.

"What is it, Daniel- AH!" One push and Chris found himself on his back in the snow with Daniel laughing at him.

"Oh- oh gawd- you- you should have seen your face, Chris." Daniel giggled at him.

"Oh, you are just so-" Chris feigned anger as he got up to return the favor. Daniel, however, felt a certain itch in his legs. A special kind of itch he's not felt in a very long time.

He began to run.

Months and months of restlessness and isolation, all let out at once. Daniel Diaz ran, and Chris Eriksen ran after him. For hours upon hours, two best friends, two wolfbrothers, played together like their lives were normal. They had snowball fights, build snowmen, and tried to catch one another, just like the normal kids would do.

Daniel Felipe Diaz could repress the pain, ignore it, and even forget it. He felt like he used to, only that he didn't even realize it himself. He was so caught up in having fun that he completely forgot about the fact that he's got a condition.

Chris Eriksen could forget the problems that waited for him back home. His dead mother for which he still blames himself. His alcoholic father that abuses him verbally as well as physically. Here, none of that existed because they both had such a good time.

"Kids, get inside, it's almost dinner!" Daniel heard the voice of his mother call out. Damn, that still felt strange to him.

"Ok, mom- OW!" Chris finally managed to return the favor by pushing Daniel to the ground.

"Now, we're even." Chris smiles smugly at his face. Daniel reluctantly accepts defeat while getting to his feet to go inside.

Inside, Claire and Karen prepare dinner while Stephen casually reads a newspaper. Esteban and Sean watched The Return of the King on television. The movie's almost over as Daniel and Chris join them on the couch. He recognized the scene immediately. The black gate of Mordor opens, and from it, a creature that scares Daniel for reasons he can't fully explain.

"My master, Sauron the Great, bids thee welcome." This thing gave him the creeps. It always felt like it was out to get him or some shit. Still, Daniel pushes through yet again, and the movie ends just in time for dinner.

Daniel sat at the table. On one side, he had Chris, and on the other, he had Sean. He felt too distracted, however, to eat.

"Sean?" He whispered to his brother, making sure that nobody else would hear.

"Yeah, Enano, what's up?" Daniel looks around the table. His dad talks and laughs with his mom. His grandmother actually spends time with her daughter, and-

"This is weird, Sean," Daniel mumbled while looking down at the floor in shame.

"Yeah, I know what you mean. But I think it's the good kind of weird, man. We just have to like, get used to it." Daniel looked up at his smiling older brother.

"Yeah, Sean. I hope you're right. I mean, it's weird, but I like it. I could get used to this." Daniel said as he took the first of many bites of food.

Hours later, they all sit in the living room. At this point, Daniel couldn't care less about presents. He's surrounded by his entire family, all the people that love him, and cares for him, no matter what. Besides, he's not stupid. They don't have any money. Hell, they barely got by before all this, so it's not exactly going to be any better at this point.

"Hey, Enano. I know you probably don't expect much when it comes to presents. This…" Sean hands over a gigantic present to his younger brother. Daniel's eyes widened in surprise and awe.

"This is from me." Technically, Claire and Stephen paid for it, but they told Sean that part was to remain a secret. Daniel felt so much guilt that he needed a sign that his brother still loved him.

"Wow… it's huge." Daniel mumbles in disbelief while studying the present.

"So, aren't you gonna open it?" Sean had barely finished the sentence before Daniel got to work like a starved wolf. The moment he saw the contents, however, he froze.

"Holy- holy shit, Sean. The new PlayBox?" Not even Claire could bring herself to lecture Daniel about his language here. Everyone wanted him to have this moment.

"Do you like it-" Sean never got to finish that sentence. Daniel dropped the box on the couch, proceeding to launch himself at Sean, hugging him.

"You're the best brother ever, Sean." Daniel wanted to say more but felt like he couldn't find the right words if any even existed.

"I'm sorry I didn't get you anything, Sean," Daniel mumbled as he felt slightly ashamed.

"Enano, you don't have to get me anything. Just, you being here is more than enough for all of us, you hear me?" Usually, Daniel would feel a sharp pain in his chest as he's reminded of what his lies have created. Today, however, he only felt joy.

"Ok, Sean, thanks. Now, come on, let's plug it in!" Well if Sean didn't hate Fortnite before, he sure did now. Chris and Daniel on one team, Sean and Esteban on the other. The Spirit Squad always emerged victorious. Eventually, Esteban gave up in favor of Karen, with no better result. Hell, even Stephen wanted a shot at it, but despite his best attempts, he only received laughter in return.

The hour is late, and Karen's gone back to the motel along with Claire and Stephen. Esteban was asleep long ago. Sean's just about to go to bed when he hears a knock on his door.

"That you, Daniel?" The door opens, and his little brother enters. Sean sits down on the side of the bed while Daniel joins him.

"I just-" The boy stopped speaking abruptly. Sean remained silent since Daniel sometimes needed time to find his words before things went south.

"I just wanna-" Daniel sighs before stopping again. He seems nervous like he wants to tell Sean something very important, but also very difficult.

"It's ok, Enano. Take your time. Just let it out. You know I would never make fun of you." Sean could almost see how Daniel began to relax a bit more before taking a deep breath.

"I just want to say thank you, Sean." Daniel looked at him with his puppy eyes. Sean, however, felt confused.

"Uhm, ok. For what?" Daniel took another deep breath.

"For always being there for me. I was at a really bad place, Sean. I've called you horrible things and begged you to do even worse, but you never left my side." Except for that one time, but that one wasn't on purpose.

"What happened wasn't your fault, Sean. I just want you to know that. And without your help, I wouldn't be here now. Thank you, big brother, for saving my life." God, Sean's at a complete loss for words. This kid got to him now, and he got to him good. Lacking a proper response, Sean wraps his arms around his little brother, pulling him into a hug.

"Thank you, Daniel." Sean managed to say between small sobs.

"It's good to have you back, little cub." Sean felt like it was finally over. Today, it became official. Daniel Diaz survived and came out stronger than ever on the other side.

"You're the best brother ever, Sean. I love you so much." Daniel did not cry. He didn't because he felt only joy. The purest, most innocent joy a child could ever have.

"And you're the best little brother I could ever ask for, Daniel." Sean didn't lie. He would stand by those words even on the worst of days.

"Goodnight, Sean, and… merry Christmas." Daniel smiled before leaving the room.

"I'm so proud of you, Enano. Goodnight." Sean said as Daniel left the room, closing the door behind him. The last few months had been the worst of his life, of that, Sean has little doubt. Tonight, however, Sean Eduardo Diaz fell asleep knowing one thing.

It's over.

Meanwhile, Daniel looked at himself in the bathroom mirror. It felt almost too good to be true. But it was true. There's no double vision, no pain, no throwing up blood, and no fucking else either. He did it.

He fucking beat it.

"I beat you, asshole." Daniel smiles while pointing at his head in the mirror. He cries tears of joy and relief as he feels ready to live his life again. Every single day, live life to the fullest. That's a promise he's making to himself right now before leaving the bathroom.

"You still awake, Chris?" Daniel received a groan in return as he lay down in his bed.

"Today was awesome, Daniel," Chris mumbled in a state of mostly asleep. Daniel stares at the ceiling deep in thought.

"Yeah, Chris, it was. I'm glad to have you here." Daniel said awkwardly.

"Yeah… me too, Superwolf. Me too…" Chris drifted away into the distant dreamland before Daniel had the chance to respond.

"Goodnight, Captain Spirit, and thank you for protecting me when I needed it the most," Daniel said before closing his eyes and going to sleep.

Hours after the little cub had fallen asleep, however, he began to drift away to a place unknown to mankind. His temperature decreased, and with it, his heartbeat. The boy's breaths became fewer and further in between. The little cub, however, felt no pain.

The realm between realms…

Daniel, to his surprise, found himself at the skate park in broad daylight. Is this a dream? No, it can't be. This feels way too real for a dream. He wears the same clothes as he did on that fateful day, and he doesn't have a scar on his head either. Daniel should feel confused, he should feel afraid, or even terrified. But he can't feel any of those emotions. Only one thing spreads throughout his body now.

Acceptance.

Of what, he's not sure of, but he's certain that he's right. Daniel stands on the top of the ramp, not wearing a helmet which could only mean one thing. This is it. The jump. In the distance, he could see Sean looking in his direction. His older brother should be getting up any second now.

Except that he doesn't.

Daniel, however, starts rolling down the ramp at a speed that used to terrify him. Now, he feels no fear. The little cub prepares to make the jump he knows he will fail. Still, Sean's not moving though. Something's off. Daniel jumps, preparing himself for what's about to happen… again.

The boy flies through the air, enjoying every moment of it, landing perfectly safe on the other side. He should feel even more confused, but he doesn't. This, however, caused his older brother to stand up and move over to him.

"Great job, Enano. I'm proud of you." Sean tells him in a caring tone.

"Thanks, Sean." Here, the reality begins to settle in with the little wolf.

"You know I wasn't talking about the jump, right?" Sean asked him in the same tone. So loving, caring, and wholesome in general.

"Yeah. I know, Sean." Daniel sighed.

"At least I made the jump this time, huh?" Daniel smiled at his older brother who returned the favor.

"Yeah, Daniel. You did." Suddenly, the surrounding area froze, along with all the people inside it.

"So, what's going to happen now, Sean?" Daniel asked curiously. Sean pointed at something behind Daniel.

"Look." Daniel did as suggested.

Behind the little cub was an endless black void. The second Daniel saw it, a massive amount of fear struck him like lightning, causing him to look in front of him again. Behind Sean was a similar empty void, except white, bright, and it felt safe. Safe, for reasons Daniel did not know.

"You can walk back the way you came, Daniel. You will wake up in your bed tomorrow, like this never happened. But your condition will only get worse and worse, until the day it finally defeats you. I do not want you to live like that, Enano."

"Is there another option?" Daniel asked while the fear in his gut continued to grow by the second.

Sean offered him a hand.

"Acceptance, Daniel. Accept the fact that your time has ended. Take my hand, and you don't have to suffer anymore. Don't be afraid, Enano."

Daniel felt so small. He felt like a helpless little boy with no clue of what to do next.

"But… I'm scared, Sean. I'm scared." Sean kneels in front of him while putting a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"You don't have to be scared, Daniel. It's over now, I promise." Daniel cried into his brother's chest, knowing he'll never be comforted by Sean again.

"Ok, Sean, I'm ready." Daniel breaks their embrace, offering Sean his hand.

"Ok, Enano. Come with me, and don't be afraid." Sean takes the hand of his younger brother. The two wolves moved towards the light, so the little cub could finally rest.

Daniel Felipe Diaz passed away early on Christmas day, at the age of nine. The boy felt no pain, nor was he ever afraid. He had finally found peace.

Notes:

Well, this chapter marks the end of this story.

I feel pleased with how this ended, especially considering the circumstances lately. I kinda felt like Daniel deserved to have a great day here before- you know? He earned that much.

Please continue to the next chapter for the author's notes.

Also, please leave a comment if you want to.

Enjoy!

K. S.

You've endured so much pain.
But no more.
Not for you.
It is over.

No more pain.
No more suffering.
You are safe now.
He cannot get you.

The reaper of grim.
Unable to catch you.
For you are no longer alive.

The reaper of misery.
Banished.
To the deepest bowels of hell.
He has no power here.

You are safe, little wolf.
Run free.
Leave your cage.
Your chains are broken.

Little wolf.
You are free.

Chapter 18: Author's Notes

Summary:

My own personal thoughts on this fic, along with some inspirations and references.

Notes:

IMPORTANT: I'm linking to more than a few video sources in this chapter.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Author's Notes

Before I go any further, let's all have a moment of silence for our fallen cub, Daniel Felipe Diaz.

Well then, yet another end of the road. Except for the fact that this wasn't much road but whatever. I've been wanting to do a sickfic for a long time. I've done a shorter one in the "LIS2 Anthology Series" and a longer one in "Dr. Daniel Saves The Day". I feel that it's a really good concept if you as a writer want to have an emotional story. Also, I know a lot about being sick, so there is that part as well.

I really enjoyed (damn, talk about poor choice of words) writing this fic at first. After a while, I kinda began to realize how limited you get when one main character's bedridden, and the other main character's looking after the first one. I kinda had a minor writer's block for a while there, plus some personal stuff (break-in, robbery, threats, you know, the usual) that kinda wore me out to this day.

The condition

I didn't want to just make up some random disease while writing this, so I Googled around a little before deciding to go with a brain aneurysm. The reasons for this are quite simple. It's something that most people are familiar with, but few are aware of what it actually means. Personally, I just thought of it as "something happens in your brain=bad."

Also, a brain aneurysm can be caused by head trauma, and the effects of it are so widespread I won't even begin to list them here. I will say, however, that I used a few of them here. Most side effects experienced by Daniel are something that happens to people with brain aneurysms in real life. A few others, however, I took from other conditions which are also related to the brain.

Side effects

As I mentioned, most of the side effects are real, so to say. Then again, I do have a lot of experience when it comes to being sick myself, and I've seen people with rare conditions and the effects they have. I've seen people with Huntington's Disease regularly (still do). Some aspects, like Daniel's crooked fingers, and how he's always so tense, are something I took from it. Huntington's Disease is fucking awful…

Anything related to seizures, I took from my own past. I once had 75 seizures within 18 months, so I know more than I want to on that one. The same thing goes with denial. You keep making up excuses because you're fine, or it wasn't your fault. Then, years later it hits you like a bomb. How could you be so blind?

Also, another thing.

My grandfather had a rare disease called Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease (CJD). Only one person in a million gets it per year worldwide. I took a few things from that as well since CJD is basically your brain rotting within a year.

Daniel's fate

Let's get this one out of the way, shall we? I knew from the moment I began this fic, that there's no way Daniel can survive. He was never going to make it. I know, I'm horrible, but it's just how things are. To anyone that might have gotten their hopes up towards the end, it just means that my plan kinda worked. Sorry, but we all know that there's no realistic scenario where he would recover from this.

I did, however, want Daniel to pass away peacefully after having a great day. So he gets to spend Christmas with his entire family, and his best friend. Plus, he feels pretty much normal, so he can do just about anything he wants. Daniel following Sean into the light was something I came up with a long time ago. I kinda like the whole "realm between realms" thing, in case you haven't noticed.

Captain Spirit's role

The end poems in the last few chapters have parts of the Captain Spirit theme song (Death By Dignity) in them. The reason for this is that I had decided that Chris would show up, and shortly later, Daniel dies. In short, it's a hint toward the fact that when Chris shows up, something big might happen.

Vecna's curse – LIS2 style

When I began this story, I had recently started to watch season 4 of Stranger Things. I didn't expect much but was pleasantly surprised, to say the least. In short, Daniel's haunted by a Life Is Strange version of Vecna in his dreams.

To anyone that might not know, Vecna uses your past traumas as a means to haunt you which felt like a perfect fit here. Daniel's back to the place where it all began, he's haunted by the part of himself that he's trying to repress, and fails to run from it. The reason he fails is that you can't just run from your past, and you can't deny who you are which is what the shadow tries to tell him when he wants Daniel to join him.

Also, Daniel being lifted and killed by "shadow-Daniel's" powers works as both a nod to the original story and Stranger Things because Vecna has pretty much the same type of power.

Various references

A few of the chapter names are references to a variety of things. "Winter Is Coming" is an obvious reference to Game Of Thrones, and "The Unholy Alliance" is named after a pro wrestling tag team.

The one that stands out, however, is chapter 5 "Koyaanisqatsi". Where the hell did I get that one from, huh? Well, it's another Vecna thing. One of his themes has that one word on a constant repeat, and me being me wanted to know what (if anything) it means.

It's from a language called "Hopi", and roughly translates to crazy life, life in turmoil, life disintegrating, and life out of balance. I like the theme and felt that the translation was Daniel's life in a nutshell, so I figured "why not?".

Daniel being afraid of The Mouth of Sauron, and feeling like he's out to get him, is a nod to the Reaper Of Misery from Wolf Brigade. Although the core concept and name came from Supyovalk, I did use The Mouth of Sauron for reference while writing his dialogue. So Daniel has every reason to feel like he's out to get him.

Last words

I had a great time writing this fic, and I love all the feedback I get. I already have another work in mind, so I'm fairly certain of what to do next.

So, without further ado, I hereby declare Cub Condition completed.

I hope you enjoyed it even if it was sad.

Thank you for reading, commenting, and contributing.

And…

… More importantly.

Never…

Ever…

Ever…

Ever…

Ever…

Stop howlin'!

OOOOWWWOOOOOOOOOOO… OWOO OOWWOOOOOOOO!

/Karl S

Notes:

This marks the end of this fic. I hope you enjoyed reading it.

Thank you for all the feedback, support, and so on.

Keep on howlin'!

OOOOWWWOOOOOOOOOOO... OWOO OOWWOOOOOOOO!