LIS2 Anthology Series

Svenne14

Summary:

A collection of short stories. Most of them will be sad, but there are going to be a couple of "lighter" ones as well.

Notes:

2021-08-26: This has gotten a lot bigger than I ever expected. The chapters aren't that short anymore. Progress, I guess.

Anyway, since publishing chapter 10, I've decided it's probably best to change the rating from "TEEN AND UP AUDIENCES", to "MATURE". Most of the chapters are, however, TEEN AND UP AUDIENCES.

(See the end of the work for other works inspired by this one.)

Chapter 1: A Heavy Truth

Summary:

The first chapter is an alternate take on the motel room scene in episode 1. What would happen if Sean tries to tell Daniel the truth?

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Sean was standing on the balcony of the Three Seals Motel. He was smoking, but he was so scared that he could barely keep the cigarette in his mouth. He was scared because he didn't know what he would do now when his father was dead. But even worse, he was absolutely fucking terrified about what he was about to do. He was about to go inside and tell his nine-year-old brother that their father is dead. Dead. Sean still can't fully understand what happened. The cop shot dad, Daniel screamed, and… they both blacked out, yet Sean is the only one who remembers anything. It doesn't make any sense.

"Fuck… dad. Help me, I don't know what to do. I can't tell him, I just… can't. It will break him." Sean doesn't even know why he's asking for help. He knows fully well that no ones gonna help him with this. He takes one last deep breath and goes inside.

As soon as Sean steps inside he's met by Daniel dancing on the bed to "Banquet" by Bloc Party, meanwhile Mushroom is happily cheering him on. This is gonna be so much harder than Sean expected it to be.

"Shit. He's so happy, so… innocent. He's got no idea, no idea that his entire life is about to go to hell because of me. Fuck…" Sean's already starting to sweat, he doesn't know if he can do this.

"Remember that song? Come on, dance!" Daniel tries to grab Sean's hand to join him. Sean really wants to. He would like nothing more than to give his little brother, his Enano, one last happy moment before everything officially goes to hell. But he can't wait any longer. Daniel deserves to know the truth and Sean, being his brother, should be the one to tell him.

"Man, I... I can't dance right now. My legs are thrashed. Sorry." Sean turns off the TV and takes a few deep breaths.

"Daniel... Come here. We need to talk." This is it, now or never. There's no going back now. You can do this man, you have to.

"Can we get a drink first? I'm thirsty…" Daniel asked, sounding more bored than anything.

"Right now?" What the hell?! How can he ask for a drink now when Sean's fucking struggling to keep his shit together?

"You said I could have a coke... or something…" Daniel tries to beg, but all the pressure is starting to get to Sean.

"NO DANIEL! You can't have a fucking soda! I said we were going to talk. Sit down and be fucking quiet, ok?" Sean is quickly losing control of both himself and this situation. He can see the tears in Daniel's eyes.

"Shit Daniel. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to… I'm sorry." He really is sorry. He feels horrible. Daniel didn't do anything to deserve that, he doesn't know why Sean is such a mess right now.

"Go to hell Sean. I thought this was just a fun trip, just you and me. But you couldn't even go two days without yelling at me. I hate you, Sean! You're not my brother! I'm telling dad about all of this when we get home." Sean could tell his brother had been very hurt by what he said. He really screwed up this time, but he couldn't back down now.

"I know Daniel and I'm sorry, I really am. If you don't want to talk I understand, but can you at least listen? I wouldn't ask you if it wasn't very important Daniel. Please." Sean begs Daniel to listen to him. Daniel might be angry and hurt, but he understands that something is up. He sits down next to Sean, refusing to look him in the eyes.

"Ok I'll talk, but I'm still mad at you and you're still not my brother." Daniel said quietly in a very bitter tone. The last part made Sean's heart ache, but he had bigger things to worry about. He closes his eyes, takes a deep breath.

"This is going to be the most serious talk we ever have together Daniel. I want you- no- I NEED you to understand what I'm about to say and… what it means. Can you do that Enano?" No panic yet, so far everything's going well. He might actually pull this off.

"Yeah Sean, I can do that." Daniel sounded a bit confused, but still very firm. Unfortunately, this is having the opposite effect on Sean.

"I- I- don't really know where to begin. It's just, I haven't told you why we're out here Daniel." Shit! He's starting to sweat, his body is shaking, his breathing is uneven.

"Yeah, you did. We are on a camping trip and tomorrow we're meeting up with dad, right?" Fuck! Don't mention dad again, please don't.

"Yeah, that's… what I told you. That's not the REAL reason we're out here though." Sean took a heavy sigh, he didn't know how to do this. Hell, he couldn't do this.

"What do you mean Sean? Dad's not coming?" Daniel is sounding more confused than ever now.

"No Daniel… dad… he's not coming. He's not coming." Sean's words were barely audible. He quickly wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his hoodie, Daniel can't see him cry, not now. He bit his tongue so hard he could taste blood.

"Sean… you're scaring me. Is- is everything alright?" Daniel suddenly forgot everything he said about Sean not being his brother. No matter how much Sean tried to hide it, Daniel could still see how sad he was. Daniel put his tiny arms around Sean, giving him a hug to comfort him.

"No Daniel. It's not alright, nothing is. I don't know if it's ever going to be. But whatever happens from now on, always remember that you're my brother and I love you." Shit shit shit! This is it, it's time to ruin your baby brother's childhood.

"Dad...he's not coming because… because he's dead Enano. Our dad is dead Daniel." Sean said those words and without a thought just hugged Daniel tight. Sean was already crying, he now felt like he didn't have to hold it in anymore. Daniel, however, remained quiet for a few seconds before he spoke.

"No… you're lying… YOU'RE LYING!" It almost seemed like Daniel had superhero-strength because when he broke out of Sean's hug he pushed Sean so far back that his head hit the wall. Daniel was screaming at him, tears covering his entire face.

"Daniel, I'm sorry. Come here." Sean tries to go towards his brother only to get pushed back yet again. This time he wasn't even near Daniel. What the hell is happening right now? Sean decides it doesn't matter right now. The only thing that matters is getting to Daniel.

"Why?! Why didn't you tell me? Why did you lie to me, Sean? Why?" Daniel has too many emotions to process. He's in a state of shock, he's sad, angry, hurt, and disappointed. He's got so many things he wants to say or ask, but no idea how to get the words out.

"Why would you do this to me, Sean?! You asshole! WHY?!" Sean had been expecting Daniel to lash out, but not this way. This is far worse than he ever expected.

"I'm sorry Daniel, I didn't know what to do. Everything happened so fast, I fucked up and a cop shot him." Sean really doesn't know how to put it any other way. He did fuck up, majorly.

"You- you ki- killed dad?" Daniel's voice goes from screaming in anger to a quiet sobbing tone and his entire body is shaking. He collapses down on the floor. Sean sees his chance and ignores the pain he's feeling from Daniel's words and kneels down next to his brother.

"No, I didn't. A cop did, it was… an accident. Come here, Daniel." Sean tries to pull his brother into a hug, but Daniel wants nothing to do with him.

"I said don't FUCKING TOUCH ME SEAN! I hate you! I wish YOU died instead of dad!" Sean knows his brother is in a lot of pain, he can see it in his eyes, hear it in his voice. But Sean was already hurting before this little "talk", for him to hear that Daniel hates him, doesn't see Sean as his brother, and wishes he was dead, it becomes too much.

"Fine… have it your way then you fucking brat. Goodnight Daniel." Sean doesn't even sound angry. Just sad. Sad and hurt. With those words, he turns the lights off and goes to bed with Daniel still sitting on the floor a broken child.

Sean didn't exactly expect to get any sleep that night. He could hear Daniel crying quietly but had no intention to comfort him. Still, he did everything he possibly could to hide his own sobbing from Daniel. Deep down, he still wanted to protect his brother. It wasn't until the middle of the night Sean finally managed to fall asleep.

Shortly afterward he was awakened by what felt like a tiny arm across his chest. Daniel had tried (and failed) to climb into Sean's bed without waking him up. Sean instantly remembers the words Daniel threw at him earlier. Part of him almost wants to tell the kid to fuck off. But the bigger and better part of him is just happy that Daniel still loves him.

"Hey, Daniel?" Sean whispers, afraid of the answer he might get.

"I'm sorry Sean. God, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it. I- I was angry, I still am, but it doesn't make it ok to say… what I said to you. You're the most important person in my life Sean, you're my brother, I love you." Daniel could barely look Sean in the eyes. He was ashamed of what he said, crying so badly that Sean's shirt was now soaked in tears.

"It's ok Daniel, I know you didn't mean it. What I told you- it was… a lot to process. I don't blame you for being angry with me, I should have told you earlier. A lot earlier. I'm sorry too." Sean was shedding tears as well, but mostly out of joy in a strange way. He felt so relieved to hear that Daniel loved him and didn't mean those horrible things that he said. He pulled his younger brother in for a hug.

"I want dad." Daniel was sobbing quietly. Sean had no response to that. How do you comfort a child who's lost a parent, when you have the same fucking parent?

"Me too" Is all Sean can think of saying. It's not any comfort. But at least the brothers now know that they're not alone in their pain. They share it and will help each other get through on the other side, stronger than ever.

"What are we gonna do without him?" Daniel asked and Sean realized that he's got no idea. Zero. Nada. Nothing. Shit…

"It's going to be ok Enano, it's going to be ok." Was it? Really...? Sean didn't believe so himself. But what mattered right now was to make sure that Daniel didn't lose all hope. As long as Daniel believed, Sean believed. But if Daniel were to lose all hope, then Sean would as well. And if that happened, nothing would ever be alright. Nothing.

Notes:

This one ended up a bit different than expected. At first the plan was for Sean to freak out and scream that their dad's dead, so Daniel would find out in yet another terrible way. But i think this is better. Sean would never be able to tell Daniel the truth and handle his outburst, without having one himself.

Anyway, hope you enjoyed!

Chapter 2: The Reunion

Summary:

Sean is being released from prison after a shorter sentence. Daniel hasn't seen him since his arrest. How did Daniel deal with not being able to see his brother? Is Sean still "Sean" after spending time in prison?

Notes:

No real notes here, it's WAY TOO HOT to be writing... Appreciate any comments though...

Chapter Text

April 11th, 2018 – Nine months after the border incident

Daniel didn't get any sleep that night. He was exhausted. He knew why. It wasn't because it was his 11th birthday, he couldn't care much less about birthdays anymore. It's because today is the day. Today is the day his brother is being released from prison. After surrendering at the border the wolfbrothers had been separated and forced to go separate ways. Daniel was sent to his grandparents in Beaver Creek while Sean was awaiting his trial.

The first months were terrible. All Daniel did was lying in bed, crying and getting more and more worried about Sean's upcoming trial. He was terrified that his brother would be locked away for life for something Daniel, not Sean, was guilty of. Then came the trial. He still wasn't allowed to see Sean, not even at the courthouse. The FBI considered him a high-risk since he previously escaped their custody twice. He wasn't allowed any visitors except his lawyer. Daniel had to watch him from a distance in the courtroom.

He was sentenced to 6 months in a maximum-security prison. Sean almost looked happy when he heard the verdict. Daniel believed that he had suppressed that part of the day, he couldn't remember his reaction. Chris later told him that he had been completely frozen and when Claire asked him if he was alright, he had just screamed. No words, no anything. Just one single heartbreaking scream.

Daniel had heard Claire and Stephen talk the next day, supposedly Sean had tried to make his way towards Daniel in an attempt to comfort him. He ended up getting knocked out by two guards, Daniel hated himself for it. Like he hasn't caused Sean enough pain already.

After the trial he almost withdrew himself completely, shutting out everyone and everything. He wasn't even allowed to visit Sean in prison. Not even phone calls, nothing. One day, Chris had just entered his room. Daniel was sitting on the floor, literally just staring into the wall, not caring much if he lived or died. Chris didn't say anything, he just sat down next to Daniel and put his arm around him. Within a few seconds, Daniel's body began to shake, his vision became blurry with tears as he let out everything at once.

"Shhh it's ok Daniel, it's ok. Everything's fine now, nobody can hurt you. It's over." Chris had said. They sat like that for what felt like hours. Afterward, Daniel wanted to go outside for what was the first time in weeks.

That was the beginning of his journey back towards a somewhat normal life. Still, he felt like waiting 6 months for Sean was more than he could handle. But eventually, he could begin to see a light at the end of the tunnel. Then they got the release date. Sean's being released on Daniel's birthday. It felt perfect, yet terrible at the same time because it was so fucking far away!

Somehow, he made it through. Now he's here. They were on the way to pick up Sean, Sean! Daniel was both scared and excited at the same time. Would Sean still love him? Who knows what happened in prison, Daniel had made the mistake of watching some Netflix documentary about the worst prisons in the world. He didn't watch TV for a week, afraid of being reminded of Sean's possible reality.

He stood outside the gates waiting, with Claire and Stephen still in the car. It was still another two hours or so, but they both knew it was no use to argue. Not this time. After what feels like days, or even weeks, Daniel hears a buzzing sound and a door being opened. He looks towards the gate and sees only the silhouette of a person moving towards the outside. It was more than he needed.

"SEAN!" Daniel yells as he runs towards the person and tackles him to the ground with a hug. Hopefully, this is Sean.

"Daniel… Enano." He can hear a familiar voice whisper in his ear, crying. Yep, it's Sean. It's his brother.

"I missed you, Sean. I missed you so much. Are- are you ok?" Daniel is struggling to find the right words. He hasn't seen or heard from Sean in 6 months, the longest time he's ever been away from his brother. Also, the time he probably would have needed him the most.

"I'm fine Enano, I'm… just great. Happy birthday little cub." As they both get up Sean smiles towards Daniel. For the first time in way too long, Daniel can see a genuinely real smile on his brother's face. Sean seems to be happy, but there's something about his appearance that worries Daniel. He's skinny, got more scars on his face, and appears to be limping when they walk towards the car. What the hell happened to him in there?

On the ride back to Beaver Creek Daniel is super excited to tell Sean about everything's he's missed while being locked up. Sean always used to enjoy listening to Daniel's stories, but now Daniel can see that he's kind of just zoning out. Not really being present.

"Sean, are you even listening to me?" Daniel asked, sounding mostly annoyed. In reality, he's starting to get worried.

"Huh? Yeah, of course, Enano. That's awesome." They were both really bad liars. The only difference was Daniel could get away with it.

"What's wrong Sean? Please, you don't have to protect me anymore. You can tell me." Daniel tries to reach out to Sean. Get him to open up, but Daniel will always be the "little" brother in Sean's eyes. Sean will always feel like he needs to protect him. Even when there's nothing to protect him from.

"It's ok Daniel. Just… a lot to take in right now. Don't worry." Sean doesn't think Daniel sees it when he wipes a tear away quickly with his sleeve.

They arrive in Beaver Creek, have a brief dinner, nothing spectacular. Claire had let Daniel decide what food to make, he had chosen ravioli. Sean was actually laughing at this, laughing. Daniel knew he should feel great, seeing Sean happy. But he couldn't shake the feeling that something was off.

When it was time for bed, they both went upstairs. Claire had prepared the guestroom for Sean, Daniel had Karen's old room. Daniel had no plans on sleeping in his own room, he hadn't seen his brother in so long and still felt alone in that big room at night. When he walked in, Sean was already in bed. Daniel lied down next to him.

"I'm so glad you're here Sean. It's… It's been hell without you. I missed you." Daniel already starts to cry. Meanwhile, Sean is just staring up at the roof, motionless.

"Yeah, I'm happy too, Daniel." Sean sounds almost robotic.

"What's wrong Sean? Please! You're scaring me…" Sean really was beginning to scare him now.

"Nothing is wrong Enano. I'm fine, I'm fine. It's just- It's- It's…" That's when it happened. Sean began to shake more and more, then he had a complete breakdown mid-sentence. He didn't even try to hide it. He didn't have the strength.

"What the fuck happened to us, Daniel? Why? What did we do to deserve this?! I feel like I'm fucking broken…" Sean tried to explain things between his loud sobs, but Daniel could barely hear it. At first, he was terrified. His brother, the strongest person he's ever known, breaking down in front of him. He knew something was up but didn't expect this. Before Daniel can fully comprehend what's going on, Sean's climbing out of the bed. His brother is trying to escape, once more. Without even thinking, Daniel grabs Sean's arm.

"No Sean. Don't go." Luckily for him, Sean rarely denied him anything when he pulled out his weaponized cuteness. He sat down, still a sobbing mess. Daniel puts his arm around Sean, really feeling how much smaller his brother has become.

"It's ok Sean. Nobody can hurt you anymore. Do you hear me? NOBODY can hurt YOU anymore. It's over, the wolfbrothers are free. Nobody will ever hurt them again, ever. Do you understand?" Daniel was very firm in his words, yet did his best to sound soothing so Sean wouldn't freak out.

"Are- are you s- sure Daniel?" Sean sounded so scared. Daniel didn't know what happened to him in prison but started to suspect it might be for the best.

"Yes Sean, I'm sure. I promise. I promise no one will ever hurt the wolfbrothers again." Daniel was serious about making that promise. He's only killed one person before and can't remember any of it, plus it ruined his life. But he would rather die himself than let someone hurt Sean or himself. It's the least he could do for Sean after… everything.

"Daniel! Enano! Little cub! God, I'm such a mess… Thanks for being here for me man. You really aren't a kid anymore, you've grown up so much. We'll get through this. It's gonna take some time, but we will. We've gone through worse." Sean's still crying but is slowly starting to sound more and more like the Sean he used to be.

"I know we will Sean. Nothing can keep the wolfbrothers apart. You were always there for me, so of course, I will be there for you. It's what you taught me, Sean." Daniel cries as he gives his older brother a hug. Sean doesn't say anything. Instead, he just closes his eyes and smiles. Broken or not, he still got his brother. After all they've been through, it's all that matters.

Chapter 3: Little Wolf

Summary:

Daniel was always a kid full of energy. Was. That was... before.

Notes:

So this idea literally just popped into my head in the middle of the night. I wrote it down (so i wouldn't forget) and now here it is.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

October 28th, 2016

Daniel had always been an energetic kid, to put it mildly. He could tire out both Esteban and Sean before it was even time for lunch. Obviously, that made it a lot easier to notice when something was off. One day, Daniel appeared to be very tired and didn't really have the energy to run around. Esteban just thought he caught a cold and didn't think much more of it. Sean mostly saw it as a way he could have a little bit of peace and quiet. He didn't know how very wrong he had been.

It was in the middle of the night. Sean was sitting on the beanbag in his room, earplugs on, listening to music. He could hear Daniel start coughing, really bad. Sean kinda wanted to go check on him, but he knew that when he's really sick and wants comfort, he always comes knocking on Sean's door. So he waits. And waits. And waits. The cough is getting a lot worse. Sean's had enough. He rips out his earplugs and goes towards his brother's room.

"Hey Enano, everything ok in there?" Sean mentally punches himself in the face. Of course, it's not ok, he's so fucking stupid sometimes.

"Daniel, I'm coming in." Sean sounds a bit more confident now, but all his confidence drops to the lowest of lows when he walks inside his brother's room. Daniel is in his bed, pale as a ghost, coughing, his breathing is raspy and- shit, is that… bloodstains? Is his little brother coughing up blood? Sean doesn't know what to do, he's completely frozen.

"Help me S-S-Sean…" Daniel's words are barely audible, but it's more than enough to get Sean back to the real world. He rushes to his brother and tries to get him to sit up, maybe he can breathe a bit better. Sean never really paid attention in these types of classes, now he really fucking wishes he did. He gets Daniel to sit up, then he puts his arm around him.

"It's gonna be fine. Everything's gonna be just fine buddy, just… hang in there." God, he's so bad at this. He's got no idea of what to say or do. But before he can think of anything, something happens. Something Sean will never be able to erase from his mind, no matter how hard he tries.

Daniel has yet another coughing-fit which ends with him throwing up a large amount of blood in Sean's lap, then he passes out. Sean's memory from here is very blurry. He remembers carrying Daniel and literally kicking in the door to Esteban's bedroom, being so afraid he couldn't even speak, he just screamed. Esteban was in obvious shock when his oldest son kicked his door in while carrying his youngest son, both of them covered in blood. After the initial confusion, he called an ambulance and Daniel went to the emergency room. While they drove, Sean explained to his father in full detail what had happened. Esteban told him he did the right thing and that Daniel would be fine. Sean was never that good at reading people though. Esteban's face said that Daniel is anything but fine.

After waiting for what felt like a fucking eternity at the emergency room a doctor finally called for Esteban Diaz. Esteban immediately got up and Sean followed.

"Actually, we would like to talk with the father only. Please, sir, you can wait here." What the fuck? Are these people actually trying to stop Sean from knowing what the hell happened to his own brother?

"He's my brother. I'm going with you!" Sean says in a calm manner, yet in a way to make it very clear that he's not going to back down. Looking back at things, he almost wished he did. About five minutes later, Esteban and Sean were told exactly what was going on with Daniel.

Cancer.

CANCER!

His sweet little brother, his Enano, had cancer and had less than a year to live. As if life wanted to add a final fuck you, it was lung cancer. Just how the fuck does a nine-year-old kid get lung cancer anyway? It was the way Sean might have been expecting himself to go at age 85, after smoking a pack a day for about 70 years. He never expected it to happen to his own brother.

Neither he nor his father took the news well, nobody would. Sean had seen his father mad, disappointed, angry, even crying, but never like this. Esteban just screamed, screamed as loud as any human possibly could, and continued to punch his fist (nearly) through the paper-thin wall. Sean simply just collapsed to the floor right where he was standing. He just lied there in a fetal position, too sad to cry. Too shocked to scream. Not a sound. Nothing.

Six months later

The last couple of months had been hard. No, they had been terrible. The worst time in Sean's life, Esteban's life, and obviously, Daniel's life. The first time they saw Daniel at the hospital, there were a lot of tears, from everyone. Daniel still had problems realizing that he wasn't going to live much longer, which in a way, made everything so much worse. Eventually, Daniel could go home, with Sean and Esteban taking care of him. All the time. They didn't know what they signed up for. The medical bills were huge. Esteban had to take another job, meaning he worked one job full-time and another part-time in order to pay for Daniel's medical bills. Sean had to quit his job at Z-Mart to be able to take care of his brother.

Sean also dropped out of high school for the very same reason just a few weeks ago, he's still trying to hide it from his brother and father. The latter one is easy though. Esteban's rarely home these days and when he is, he's either sleeping or locked inside his room, drowning his sorrows in cheap scotch. He rarely saw Daniel. He couldn't. In a way, Sean didn't blame him.

Daniel's health had been somewhat steady for the first month after getting home. Then, it started declining rapidly. At first, he didn't want to be outside. It was starting to get colder and he was having difficulty breathing outdoors. Then, he had to take a break when going between different places inside. He was out of breath so fast. Now… he had to lean on Sean to be able to barely walk around inside the house. Daniel was in constant pain and the nights were always the worst. Sean could barely remember the last time he slept an entire night in his own bed, without any… incidents.

Almost every night there was something. It could be Daniel nearly coughing his lungs out, having a panic attack, or last week... Daniel had called for him in the middle of the night, crying. During his weak moments, Sean regrets buying a pair of walkie-talkies. When he gets to his brother he can immediately see why he's crying. Daniel's starting to lose all his hair. Fucking chemotherapy. Sean always tried not to cry in front of Daniel, but that night, both of them cried. Together. It felt more official in a way, now there's absolutely no denying it. He's… dying.

Sean was inside his room when he heard his walkie.

"Sean… Can you come in here please…" Daniel was sounding a lot better today, like, a whole lot better. Much better than he had in like a month. It made Sean smile a little. He didn't smile much these days. As he walks in, Daniel is actually sitting on the floor, playing. Sean hasn't seen him done that in a long time, he just doesn't have the energy.

"Hey, Enano. How do you feel today? You look a lot… better. Sound better too." He did. Sean wanted to have hope, he really did. He refused to let go.

"I… Can you just… stay here with me for a while Sean? I just… don't want to be alone right now." Daniel had a low, very sad tone like there was more to it than that. But Sean didn't question his brother on these things, at least not anymore.

"Yeah, sure man. Is there anything you want to do?" Sean asks, desperately trying to keep his brother's spirits up.

"No… just… stay with me, please. It makes me feel… safe." Daniel wipes away a lone tear on his cheek.

"Enano, it's going to be fine. You know that right?" Shit! Shit shit shit! Sean wants to bash his own head into the wall as soon as the words leave his mouth. Why the fuck would he say that? Daniel's expression noticeably changes to something a lot sadder.

"You say that all the time Sean. You say that, but you know just as well as I do, it's not true. It's not going to be fine. I'm not going to be fine. I'm- I'm going to die Sean. I'm ten now, I won't make it to eleven. This is it for me. It's over Sean, you know it."Daniel puts his face in his hands, crying, while Sean pulls him in for a hug.

"I'm sorry Daniel. It's just- I'm so scared and I hate all the shit you've been forced to go through." Sean is fighting to hold back his tears.

"It's ok Sean, I forgive you." Daniel says and proceeds to slowly stand up and make his way towards his bed. When the fuck did the kid get his energy back?

"I'm feeling kinda tired Sean. Do you think you could… you know, tell me a story?" Daniel asks and does his best to give Sean "the look" that could make him do anything. These days, that very look almost makes Sean want to run away from home and never return. It's one of those times when he can truly see how much his brother's physically changed into someone almost unrecognizable. Still, it's his little brother. And he would die to protect him.

"Of course dude, I'll tell you a story." Sean lies down next to Daniel, the latter immediately putting his very tiny arm over him. Sean doesn't notice how Daniel's feet have turned blue. He doesn't notice how hard it is for Daniel to move his legs either. Instead, he begins to tell Daniel his story.

"Once upon a time... In a wild, wild world... There were two wolfbrothers living in their home lair with their papa wolf… They all lived happily together, until one day, the little cub… got very sick." Sean continues with his story.

"… So the little cub fights his way through, becoming his good old healthy self again. His papa and brother wolf are so proud and so happy. They howl together, all three of them. Nothing could break their family. Nothing. They could never be separated… never." Sean finishes his story and, in order to not wake Daniel up, chooses to fall asleep right on the spot.

At that moment, two wolfbrothers went to sleep. However, what Sean did not know, is that he was the only one that would wake up the next morning. Daniel Felipe Diaz died in his sleep that night, arms tightly around his brother the entire time to feel safe.

Notes:

So a few things are (unfortunately) based on things I've experienced myself. Such as people dying tend to get a lot more "awake" when it's really really close. As for Daniel's feet turning blue, that's also something I've seen just a few minutes before someone passed. Anyway, hope you enjoyed (well...) reading!

Chapter 4: Visitation

Summary:

Sean and Daniel surrendered at the border. Daniel is under the firm belief that Sean will be found not guilty during his trial. Unfortunately, his entire world is (once again) about to be turned upside down.

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

August 5th, 2017

Daniel felt confident walking into the courtroom. Claire had tried to talk him into staying at home because of course, she would. But there was no chance he would miss out on this. Today was the last day of Sean's trial, the day he would be declared not guilty and set free. Claire had told him not to get his hopes up too much, but there's no other option. He can't possibly be declared guilty.

"They don't have shit on you big brother. You'll walk free today and in a couple of days, we can celebrate your birthday. Perfect." Daniel thought to himself with a smile as the jury was about to read their verdict. It really sucked that he wasn't allowed to sit next to Sean for this. He had been strictly forbidden by the court to visit his brother since Sean was considered a "danger to himself and those around him." Something that made Daniel sick just thinking about it. Such bullshit. But it wouldn't matter in a few minutes, soon they could walk out of this room together.

"We find Sean Eduardo Diaz GUILTY." Daniel didn't hear the next sentence. It didn't matter. Guilty. He tried to process what this actually meant, he wasn't prepared for this. He didn't think it would happen. Why the hell would it happen? He tries to remain calm and focus on his breathing.

"I hereby sentence Sean Diaz to fifteen years in a maximum-security prison." No. this can't be happening. This wasn't the plan. Why won't anybody do something? Daniel looks around. He can see Claire and Stephen, both of them crying. Chris, who's sitting right next to him, has his hand on his shoulder and Daniel hasn't even noticed it until now. He can see Lyla, but not even she will do anything. Daniel's starting to feel sick. The entire room is spinning.

"NO! You can't take Sean away! Not like this! He's fucking innocent, you ASSHOLES!" Daniel got up and began walking towards his brother. He didn't know what he would do when he got there, he barely knew what was going on at this moment.

"Daniel. Enano. Don't… I know it hurts man, I really do. But we'll see each other again. Nothing can keep the wolfbrothers apart, right?" Those were Sean's final words before the guards had taken him away. Daniel just stood there. No screaming, no anger, no crying, and no tears. Nothing. He just felt empty. Completely empty. Like he just lost a part of himself, locked away forever.

December 23rd, 2017

Usually, Daniel is the first person to wake up on Christmas eve, not the day before. This year is different though. This year he didn't give a shit about Christmas. Because today he would get to visit Sean. For the first time in almost six fucking months. The last time he saw Sean was that day, that terrible day at his trial. Daniel was stupid enough to actually believe Sean would walk free, how did he not see it? The last time he was able to talk with his brother and give him a hug, that was at the border. The one decision that truly changed their lives forever.

Since Sean was serving his sentence in a maximum-security prison, he wasn't allowed much contact with the outer world. When Stephen had told Daniel that only parents, spouses, and children of those incarcerated were allowed to visit, Daniel had completely broken down. He had just collapsed on the floor, refusing to get up, while ignoring everyone around him. Stephen actually had to call for Charles to carry Daniel to bed.

He spent the following days just lying in his bed, doing nothing, not eating, and not drinking. It wasn't until he had an epileptic seizure that his grandparents made the decision to have him hospitalized. Daniel spent an entire month at the hospital. At first, he didn't cooperate at all. He just felt it would be easier if he were to… not be around anymore. Eventually, a psychiatrist got him to open up a little. This made all those things he forgot about come back. How it's his fault dad died, Mushroom, how he cost Sean his eye, Haven Point, all that shit. So, now he wanted nothing more than to get the hell out of here instead.

He was always very careful in his conversations to avoid mentioning his powers, he also avoided talking about Sean. It simply hurt too much, he wasn't ready yet. Eventually, his psychiatrist called him out on it though and asked him about Sean. Daniel was completely caught off guard and broke down crying.

All those conversations just made him feel like the most horrible person on the planet, but at least one good thing came out of it. His psychiatrist had made a few phone calls and now, he's legally allowed to see Sean. Daniel felt it was insane that in order to be allowed to see his own brother, someone he grew up with, he actually needed a paper that says seeing Sean is an "Important factor in Mr. Diaz's recovery and vital to ensure his future mental health." Considering how that's not exactly very far from the truth, Daniel was just happy that he would finally be seeing his brother. Finally.

Daniel didn't eat any breakfast. He couldn't. He didn't know if he should be scared, excited, or something in between. To say he was nervous would be an understatement. He hadn't talked with Sean in almost six months. That's a small eternity for someone who's only ten years old. But today he would get to talk to Sean, hug him, tell him he loves him, Sean… Sean would call him… Enano. Just hearing the word in his head almost brings Daniel to tears, but he forces them back. Not yet.

The prison was only about twenty minutes away, so it was a short drive. "Well, here we are." Stephen declared. Little did he know that Daniel knew very well what Sean's prison looked like and where it was. He and Chris had scouted the nearby locations many times when they were "playing in the forest." Chris didn't really want to, but Daniel was so desperate to get even a small glimpse of Sean through a window or outside in the backyard. He was willing to try anything and Chris knew it. So he thought it would be good if someone were to keep an eye on Daniel, that someone being Chris. Their grand plan had obviously failed miserably in the end. In hindsight, watching a maximum-security prison with binoculars isn't the best idea, to begin with, either. Maybe it was for the best. It's a miracle they didn't get caught.

Daniel and Stephen entered the prison. Usually, they only allowed one visitor at a time, but since Daniel is a minor, it's an obvious exception. Two guards with very scary-looking faces order them both to remove all metal objects and electronic devices and place them in a box. Daniel temporarily panics.

"But… My phone… I-I-was going to show Sean videos and pictures. And maybe… take a picture of him? I don't have a picture of my brother anymore…" Daniel gives one of the guards the look. The same look he used on Sean when he would pretend to be sad just to get what he wanted. The only difference was, this was no acting. He really was sad. His words began as a desperate plea and ended with a sad statement.

"ALL metal objects and electronic devices, NOW! You have thirty seconds kid. If you refuse, then there's no visitation for you again. EVER!" Daniel would like nothing more than to push this asshole of a guard far into oblivion, but Sean is more important. He needs to remain calm. Breathe. Just breathe. He does as ordered and another guard comes and escorts them to something similar to a waiting room. The room was completely empty, with not a single person inside.

"Wait here until your name's called out." The guard said and began to walk away. Daniel could take it anymore, he couldn't wait anymore. He's waited for nearly six months.

"Hey! How long's that gonna be?" Daniel asked, then realizing he sounded a lot cockier than he intended. But it was too late now.

"In your case kid? A really long time. Your brother killed a cop you know… He might not even make it here in one piece." The guard suddenly had a really cold voice that sent chills down Daniel's spine. He could make sure this asshole doesn't make it out in one piece. But he has to remain calm. He doesn't respond. He just sits down, part of him wondering why the hell Stephen is the one to come with him here. Stephen has been quiet almost the entire time since they arrived.

"Daniel Diaz, visiting S-"

"SEAN! SEAN DIAZ! Sean Eduardo Diaz. My brother." Daniel literally jumped out of his chair and screamed Sean's name out loud several times. This was it. Time to meet Sean. Time to meet… his brother. He tried to mentally prepare himself for seeing a pair of doors open and Sean sitting inside, he knew that the first thing he would do was run towards him and tackle him to the floor with a hug. For the first time in months, Daniel smiled. A complete and full genuine smile as he and Stephen followed the guard. They eventually arrive at a pair of heavy doors, the guard stops and turns to Daniel.

"Ok, Mr. Diaz listen closely. I'm going to open these doors and then walk away so you can have some privacy. The only reason I'm doing so is that your papers say I have to. We will be watching and listening on surveillance cameras. Do you understand?"

"Yes sir. Th-th-thank you. So much. I mean it." He really did. This guard actually wasn't an asshole like the others, guess there's still hope.

"Good! Use the phone to talk. No loud noises, you have thirty minutes. Any questions?" Daniel's confused. Use the phone? What the hell is he talking about?

"W-what do you mean? Phone?" Daniel asks, not even knowing the question itself. The guard responds with a loud sigh before opening the doors.

"It's a maximum-security prison kid. You didn't actually think you would be in the same room as your brother did you?" With those final cruel words, the guard departs. Daniel barely heard what he said, he ran straight forward as soon as the doors opened.

"SEAN?! Sean, where are you?! What the fuck…?" Daniel ran into a room with a lone chair on the floor, on the wall was an ancient phone and the rest of the wall was made of thick glass. On the other side of the glass was Sean. What the hell is this? Is it some evil joke?

Sean's entire face lit up as soon as he saw Daniel. Just as quickly, however, it turned into a worried expression when he saw his brother's pain and confusion.

"SEAN!" Daniel struck his fists on the glass, desperately trying to find a way through it, to get to Sean. Stephen was trying to get him to calm down, failing miserably. The glass was bulletproof and airtight. Daniel couldn't hear Sean and Sean couldn't hear Daniel.

Eventually, Daniel's had enough. He puts his palm at the cold glass and begins to concentrate, he's gonna wreck that shit with his powers. That's when he finally makes eye contact with Sean. For the first time in almost six long months, he's looking into the eye of his brother. Sean doesn't appear to be scared or angry, he's just… Sean. Just Sean. They look at each other for what feels like an eternity, then Sean slowly shakes his head. Daniel knows exactly what this means. It means "don't use your powers here." Sean then grabs the phone on his side and signals for Daniel to do the same.

"Hey, Enano. It's good to see you. How are you holding up?" Sean tries his best not to cry right now, but his voice is failing him. For Daniel, simply being called Enano again was enough.

"I-I can't… I-" Daniel begins to cry uncontrollably. He's been wanting to say so much to Sean, show him so much. Now he can't even give him a hug because between them is a fucking glass wall.

"I know Daniel, I know. It hurts. I know you don't want to hear this right now, but it will get better. I promise." Sean wasn't completely sure he even believed that himself, but he had to try something.

"I miss you so much, Sean. I-I thought I would be able to hug you today and show you pictures on my phone. Maybe even take a picture of you. I don't even have a picture to remember what you look like. Instead, we sit like this. A stupid glass wall between us, talking with phones! It sucks. I can't do this Sean. You said I can still have a normal life, right? Well, normal life for ME can't be without YOU!" He's not being fair to Sean right now. It's not Sean he's angry at.

"I… guess I thought it would be easier for you if you just kinda… forgot about me. I'm sorry Daniel." Sean looks at the floor and appears to be somewhat ashamed.

"What…? But I don't want to forget about you, Sean. You're my brother. I love you." Daniel rarely said out loud that he loved his older brother. But this was one of those occasions that needed it.

"I love you too Daniel. Whatever happens, never forget that." Daniel smiled a little bit hearing Sean say that. After all they've been through, Sean could still make him smile without much effort.

"Sean… Do you think you could tell me a story? Please." He gave Sean the look, knowing very well it was pointless because Sean would agree to do it anyway. Sean on his end knew the exact same thing. He was just glad that Daniel still had something left from their Seattle days.

"Of course Enano." Daniel moved the chair closer and leaned his forehead towards the glass, Sean did the same and began with his story. Stephen meanwhile decided to wait outside, since things had cooled down and he wanted to let them have their moment.

"… It hurt the little cub to see the older wolf in a cage. He became very sad. But in time, with lots of help from the old wolves and a certain raccoon, he began to feel better. He realized the old wounds would never truly heal, but they would heal more than enough for him to live his life in freedom. Eventually, the older wolf would join him in freedom. And they would spend that night howling as loud as they could, celebrating that they were finally, truly free. Nothing could separate the wolfbrothers. Nothing." Sean finished his story, forehead still on the cold glass and tears flowing down his face.

"Thank you, Sean. Thank you for everything. Nothing can separate us. Ever. I swear." Daniel said while trying to hide the fact that he's crying.

"Thanks, Enano. It feels good to hear that. Just make sure you remember to-" The phone line is cut off in the middle of Sean's sentence. Remember to WHAT? A loud knocking is heard and the guard enters the room.

"Alright, times up. Let's go kid." Daniel wasn't ready to go yet. He looks back at Sean, but it's too late. Sean has already been handcuffed and is being escorted out by two guards. Daniel can't do anything else but admit defeat, so he just nods silently and walks away with the guard.

When they got back home Claire had asked how it went, Daniel didn't want to talk about it. Then Chris had asked, Daniel didn't want to talk about it with him either. He ended up locking himself in his room. He just didn't want people around him now. He had waited so long for this day, only for it to go straight to hell. Like everything else in his life. What the fuck did he do to deserve this? A dead dad and speak with his incarcerated brother once every sixth month? Is this his life now? He sits down on the floor, back against the wall, and pulls his legs up to his chest.

Then he cried. A lot, for a very long time. It felt like hours. Eventually, a new thought came into his head.

"Today sucked. It was fucking horrible. But I've been through worse. If I could survive that, then this shouldn't be too difficult." Daniel let those words go through his head for a while. Then he made a decision.

"It won't be easy. But I'm going to live a normal fucking life! WITH SEAN IN IT! Even if I have to walk there myself to just talk to him for twenty minutes. It won't be easy, but it's what I want." Daniel Diaz had made his decision. His decision to keep on fighting for a normal life. He got up and walked downstairs to make his announcement. In some strange way, he felt more confident now than he had in a very long time. Maybe seeing Sean was just what he needed, maybe all those therapy sessions did more than he thought. Either way, he just hopes that the future is looking brighter for him now.

Notes:

I like how this turned out actually. Also with the little (sort of) twist that it's just a "talking" visitation with a wall in between and not one you can actually hug each other.

Anyway: Appreciate any comments!

Chapter 5: Guilt

Summary:

His mom has been acting strange lately. They both kinda have. Sean feels like they don't have time for him anymore. It's all about... him. Sean doesn't realize that his entire world is about to come crashing down...

Notes:

This takes place about 8 years before the incident.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Summer 2008

Sean always had difficulties dealing with change, so getting used to a baby brother had certainly been an adjustment. He was still a bit uncertain about what to feel about the whole thing. Sean was barely eight years old now and yet expected to watch his brother for a few minutes every now and then. Watch Daniel. Sometimes, he felt like neither of his parents cared about him anymore. He almost felt like he was just useful to them when Daniel needed to be watched, just so they could go outside and have another one of their talks.

Sean still didn't know what they were talking about, but whatever it was, it seemed important. Important and sad. He could see mom cry yesterday, she denied it of course. Nobody ever takes him seriously when he's worried. Sean had been worried for quite some time actually. Every time he saw his parents walking away to have another "talk" he was afraid they would divorce. A friend at his school (he didn't remember her name, was it Lily? Layla?) had gone through that recently and told him some real nightmare stories. He was terrified of that happening to him or even his brother.

Just as Sean was about to go to bed he stopped and looked at Daniel. He was sleeping.

"Everything was fine before you got here Daniel. What did you do? They don't care about me anymore." Sean whispered to himself, he didn't know if he wanted a reply or not. Either way, Daniel kept on sleeping and Sean went to bed expecting no one to come in and say goodnight. Mom and dad usually forgot that nowadays, since Daniel entered the picture. He didn't know what to do. He thought it would be cool to have a brother. Instead, it just screwed everything up. He almost felt like he wanted to cry. At this point, he heard someone knocking on his door. It was his mom, Karen Diaz.

"Hi, Sean. I just… thought I might say goodnight." Karen sits down on the bed, right next to Sean. She seems… sad? Has she been… crying again? Sean wants to ask her but decides not to since he knows what answer he'll get.

"Goodnight mom!" Sean hugs her and does his best (and fails) to hide his tears. He doesn't notice that Karen does the same thing though.

"So Sean…? I was wondering… how about I tell you a bedtime story?" What? She never tells any stories. Ever. That's dads thing. Now, she's being all super-nice for no reason? It's one of those things that girl at school said (was it Lyla?), if they're being super-nice, it means shit's about to go down.

"Are- Are you and dad gonna divorce?" Sean can barely get the words out, Karen is a bit taken back by the question.

"Sean… why do you think that?" Sean doesn't see it, but Karen is struggling really hard not to cry now.

"You- you always have those talks, and- and I've seen you crying after those. And you never do anything with me anymore, I'm just a babysitter." Sean was crying now, he didn't even try to hide it.

"Sean" Karen sounded a lot more serious now.

"Your father and I talk a lot, yes. But… sometimes that's necessary for grown-ups. Just sit down and… talk. Sometimes you get angry, sometimes sad, sometimes you laugh. But none of that would be possible without your help Sean. Daniel is far too young to be left alone, someone needs to watch over him. When he gets older, he'll look up to you Sean." She looked him right in his eyes.

"I know we haven't… done much as a family lately. But we don't have much money and taking care of a new baby is a lot of work. Your father and I still love you, just as much as we always have. And Sean… Esteban and me, we are not having a divorce." Although there was a certain sadness in her eyes that Sean could not quite understand, he felt relieved.

"Do- do you promise? You won't leave me?" Sean asked.

Karen took a deep breath. "I promise I won't leave you, Sean." She couldn't look him in his eyes. At the time, he didn't know why.

"Thanks, mom. Can I get my story now?" It was getting late and Sean was tired, so why not?

"Of course Sean." Karen began telling her story, a similar story to the one dad used to tell him… used to. The wolfbrothers story. He really liked that one. Except that his mom's version had a "Rogue Wolf" character in it. A wolf that felt like it didn't fit in with the rest of the pack. Sean found it a bit strange but didn't think much of it. It was only a story, just made up. When the story was finished Sean was about to drift away into sleep. Karen got up, tears now flowing freely down her face. This would be the last time she would see her oldest son. She gave him a small kiss and whispered in his ear.

"Goodbye, Sean. I love you. None of this is your fault, it never was. Just… look after Daniel. Be there for him… please." Sean mumbled something back in response, but it was impossible to decipher. Later that night, Karen Diaz, now officially (again) known as Karen Reynolds, departed the house owned by her now ex-husband Esteban Diaz.

When Sean woke up the next morning he was in a very good mood, at least until he realized the reason he woke up.

Daniel.

DANIEL!

Why do babies always have to scream so loud? He just ignored it and waited for mom or dad to take care of it, but nothing seemed to happen. No one came to his brother's aid. Sean may be only eight years old, but if he's angry, he's angry. He gets up and begins to look around the house for his parents.

"Mom? Dad? Daniel's crying! Do something!" He demands, to no response other than Daniel's crying. No one's outside either, meaning they're not having a "talk." He walks towards his parent's room, the only place he's almost never been allowed to go into. He hesitates a bit, then decides to just enter instead of knocking. What Sean sees upon entering the room makes him very confused and a bit scared. For the first time in his life, he felt genuine fear. He didn't like it.

His father was lying in his bed fully dressed, face towards Sean and he was desperately hugging a pillow. Also, had he been… crying? Sean had seen his mom cry many times, but never his dad, that was something completely different. It made him worried, then again, what doesn't?

"Dad… Daniel's crying. Are- are you gonna help him?" Sean asked very carefully but got no response. His anger is starting to return. Like his dad hasn't ignored him enough.

"FINE! WHATEVER! I'll just go talk to mom instead." Sean screams at his father and turns around to exit the room.

"Sean wait… Karen, your mother, she- she-" His father is now sitting up and Sean, realizing that something is wrong, sits down next to him.

"Dad…?" Just what the hell is going on right now?

"Your mother has left us, hijo." His father cried as he told Sean what had happened. Six words that forever changed his life. Sean did not take it well. No eight-year-old would.

"What do you mean she left?! She can't have left! No! She promised she would never leave me! You're lying!" Sean was screaming and crying at the same time. He couldn't believe it. He didn't want to believe it. Still, there was that voice in the back of his head that told him that everything made sense now. His father tried to pull him into a hug, but Sean was furious.

"Don't touch me! It's not true!" Sean ran out of the room, slamming the door behind him. Esteban just sighed and lied back down, staring into the wall, wondering what he did wrong.

Sean was sick of this. There's only one reason this could happen. It's his fault. It has to be. He can't stand the screams anymore, so he walks into Daniel's room and lifts him up from his bed, and puts him down on the floor. Then he stares deeply into Daniel's eyes as he says the bitter truth.

"This is all your fault! Everything was fine before you got here! If it wasn't for you, mom would still be here! I don't care if she wanted me to look after you! I don't care if you're my brother! I wish I didn't have a brother. Do you hear me, Daniel? I wish you were dead! DEAD!" Sean screams at the defenseless toddler before him. Daniel has stopped crying long ago and has instead begun to study Sean with a curious look on his face.

Sean just sits there, hiding his face in his hand, crying. All alone. His mother has abandoned him, his father is too depressed and busy to care and Daniel is… Daniel, Sean doesn't care about him. Why should he? It's in this moment when Sean is at the lowest of lows, he can feel a small hand trying to grab hold of his finger. Little Daniel had moved closer to Sean without him realizing it and now tried to grab his finger. A small part of him actually felt a little bit of comfort in that "gesture" from his brother. The larger part of Sean, however…

"What the… don't touch me! Don't you dare touch me! I hate you! You're not my brother and I wish you were dead!" Sean screams and runs back into his room. He closes the door behind him, then he just sits on the bed, legs pulled up to his chest, crying. Mom lied. She looked into my eyes and lied to him. She promised she would never leave, only to leave the next day. Did she know… last night? Of course, she did. Otherwise, she wouldn't have been in his room, to begin with.

All those dark thoughts in Sean's mind are brought to an abrupt end by a loud noise. Sean immediately knows what it must be, but hopes that he's wrong. Because if he's right, that's a truth that actually scares him even more.

Sean quickly runs out towards the living room, and it was as he suspected. Baby-Daniel who only recently started walking on his own had explored the house on his own. Which would be fine if Sean had closed the door to the basement yesterday. Both of his parents always tell him to, but he always forgets. Daniel had tried walking down the stairs to the basement and immediately fallen all the way down. Sean could hear him screaming in pain. Sean's heart was beating faster and faster the closer he got to his brother. He could see Daniel lying at the bottom of the stairs, a small cut on his forehead.

"Oh no, Daniel!" He ran towards his younger brother, sat down, and carefully lifted him up. He then felt that small hand, grabbing one of his fingers in a vice grip. He must be in a lot of pain.

"I'm sorry Daniel. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it… I didn't mean it. It's all my fault… it's all my fault." As Daniel was beginning to calm down, Sean could finally do the same. He also began to consider the situation he actually was in at this moment. Daniel, the brother he supposedly wanted to be dead, had fallen. Sean had come to his aid without hesitating, even after all those horrible things he said earlier. Now here they sit. Daniel is still holding on to Sean's finger, refusing to let go while studying his older brother. Sean is looking down on this tiny human being, this… Enano, and he's doing it with a smile on his face.

Then he quickly draws a conclusion. No one in their right mind could leave this behind. She didn't leave because of him. But, then what did she leave us for?

"It's ok Daniel. It's ok. Sean is here, your brother is here. And he will never leave you. Never. We'll get through this… E- E- Enano?" Was that a word he could use as a nickname for his brother?

"I'm gonna look after you, Enano. Always." Yeah. Sounds good. Sean then carries his brother back to his own room. He lets Daniel lie down in his bed. Daniel quickly falls asleep. Sean moves Daniel towards the wall a bit and lies down next to him, he doesn't want his brother to fall again. There's a thought going through his head. A thought he doesn't like. Mom left, that much he knows. What he doesn't know, is why? Dad is… perfect, pretty much everyone knows that. And he just figured out that it can't possibly be Daniel who's the reason behind her leaving. But, that leaves only one other option. Only one person can be responsible for his mother leaving the entire Diaz family behind. Sean wants to cry when he figures it out but feels like he can't cry in front of Daniel. At least not if he's supposed to look after him in the future. Instead, Sean just closes his eyes and whispers.

"This is all your fault, Sean Diaz. Everything."

Notes:

This one was a lot more difficult to write than expected. Still, i think the result was decent. If you enjoy reading, please leave a comment below!

Chapter 6: The Accident

Summary:

Daniel can't wait for tomorrow. Sean promised he would teach him how to skate. First, Sean's going to a party though...

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Summer 2016

Usually, when Sean was getting ready for a party, Daniel would get really whiny. He would hate the fact that his brother would spend the entire night with his friends, only to spend the next day doing nothing but throwing up and groaning. Today, however, was not one of those days. Sean was getting ready for a party, but Daniel was in a good mood. He was actually full of joy and was hoping that his brother would have a good time.

Sean had promised Daniel a few months back, at his birthday, that he would teach him how to skate as soon as the summer came along. Daniel felt like the summer couldn't come soon enough. He had been to the skate park with Sean and Lyla a few times before, he thought it looked really cool. So when Sean told him this morning that "Tomorrow we're going to the skate park Enano." He was overjoyed. Of course, there was still the party. But, Sean promised he would take it easy and take an early ride home so everything should be fine.

"Ok, Enano. I'm ready. I'll see you tomorrow ok?" Sean smiled at his younger brother.

"Ok, Sean. But, do you promise you won't get… you know?" Daniel asked, still a bit worried. Sean had a bit of a history of making promises, only to then break them.

"Daniel. I've been waiting for this day even longer than you have man. No way I want to mess it up. I swear Daniel. I will get home tonight, early(ish), and I won't drink." Daniel gave him a very skeptical look. He was a lot harder to fool now.

"Ok, you got me. I promise I won't drink too much… are we good Enano?" Sean admits defeat as he realizes he's gonna have to be sober the entire night. Great.

"Yeah. We're cool Sean. I hope you have an awesome time tonight. Just… get home safe, ok?" Daniel didn't know why, but he felt like he had to say that last part.

"Don't worry man, I will. Goodnight Enano, see you tomorrow." With those words, Sean walked out of his brother's room and exited his family home. What nobody knew, is that he would never be entering said home again.

It was dark outside, must have been after midnight when it happened. Daniel didn't really know, he didn't care to remember. He was in deep sleep when from nowhere, his father kicks his door in. at least it sounded like he did. The loud noise had woken Daniel up. Since there wasn't any light in his room, all he could see was this tall, dark shadow. A shadow that just kicked his door in, and scared him so much he couldn't move.

"DANIEL! WE HAVE TO GO! COME ON, NOW!" Esteban screamed at his youngest son. Daniel had never seen his father like this.

"Da- Dad? Wh- what's happening?" Daniel carefully asked, afraid of being yelled at again.

"I can't answer any stupid questions now! Just… go and put on your shoes and let's go!" Esteban lowered his voice but had a very menacing tone. Something Daniel never thought existed inside his father. With tears in his eyes, he gets out of bed, puts on a pair of shoes, and puts on a hoodie. He couldn't even change out of his pajamas. Then, he got in the car with his dad. He didn't know where they were going and right now, he didn't care. His dad had really hurt him with the way he just acted. So instead he just stares out the window, quietly crying.

"Daniel… I'm- I'm sorry for what happened back there, hijo, I really am." Esteban sounds a lot calmer. Still, there's something about the tone in his voice, something Daniel can't quite decipher. He chooses to not respond and simply ignores his father's attempt to apologize.

"Daniel… I know you're angry, and you have every right to be. But right now, I really need you to listen to me. Please?" Daniel still didn't say anything, but at least turned his head towards his father and nodded, without looking him in the eyes.

"Thank you, hijo. The reason I was so upset is- is- I got a call. We're going to the hospital, Daniel. Your brother has been in an accident. Sean's been in an accident." What? No, this can't be true. Sean can't have been in an accident, he promised he would be safe tonight and get home early. This is too much information to take in for Daniel, especially in the middle of the night.

"H- How?" It was the only thing Daniel could say. Part of him didn't want to know, part of him needed to know.

"He took a cab from the party, a lot earlier than everyone else. The driver fell asleep at the wheel and crashed right into a truck." Esteban said, trying to keep his voice steady.

"Is- Is Sean going to be ok, dad?" Daniel asked, now forgotten all about his dad's outburst earlier tonight.

"I don't know Daniel. I really don't know." Esteban sighed deeply and quickly wiped away a lone tear. Daniel had a very bad feeling about this. If Sean didn't leave early, would he still be… fine? He tries to erase the thought as fast as possible. It doesn't matter. Sean's gonna be fine. He promised. He promised.

When they arrived at the hospital, Esteban spoke to a nurse who immediately directed them towards a room. When they entered the room Daniel was shocked. He had been so certain that Sean would not be seriously hurt. He just couldn't be. It's his brother. It wouldn't happen to him. When he saw Sean in a hospital bed, with a tube down his throat, clothes covered in blood, he felt like he wanted to throw up. This can't be happening. This isn't real.

"S- S- Sean…?" Daniel was scared to approach his brother. He was afraid that something even worse would happen. He didn't want to think about what that could be right now. Still, he forced himself to stand right next to his unconscious brother and then grabbed his hand. Very carefully.

"H- Hi S- Sean. It's me. Daniel. Your brother. Enano." Daniel was crying. His entire face was covered with tears. His father was outside, speaking with a doctor, so he was all alone.

"Please be ok Sean. Please. Y- You promised, remember? We were going to the park tomorrow, you were gonna teach me how to skate? Remember? Please Sean… wake up. I need you, big brother." Daniel's words could barely be heard now, as he cried into Sean's shoulder.

"Daniel… how are you holding up?" His father was back. Daniel could see he had been crying as well.

"Please dad, tell me Sean's gonna be fine." Daniel needed something, anything, to give him hope right now.

"Your brother is about to have… a minor surgery, but it shouldn't be a problem." Esteban said, visibly disturbed by having to say it out loud.

"Then he'll be alright?" He remembers when Sean had broken his leg. He needed surgery back then, but after he got it, he was a lot better. Daniel felt a bit relieved.

"Uhh… yes. Then he will be fine Daniel. Now, the surgery should take a few hours. How about we go and eat something? Might be good to get your mind off this." A very doubtful answer, followed by a quick change of subject. Esteban was hoping that Daniel wouldn't notice.

"Yeah. That sounds good."Daniel did not notice.

They went to a nearby place for a pizza. Esteban said Daniel could have anything he wanted. A bit of food and an environment that isn't a hospital had made Daniel in a much better mood. He felt a lot more positive now about the situation. Sean would have the small surgery done, he might even be awake when we get back. He'll be fine.

"We probably won't go to the park tomorrow, but maybe next week." Daniel thought to himself, smiling a little. After three hours of eating pizza and talking, they headed back to the hospital.

Daniel didn't bother waiting for some nurse to point him in the right direction. He knew exactly where he was going. He was going to see his brother. It didn't take him long to find the room.

"Sean, Sean? Are you awa-" Daniel had rushed into the room, only to freeze as soon as the door opened. The room was empty. Esteban, who was a bit slower, walked up behind Daniel.

"Dad… where's Sean?" It's that feeling again. The feeling that something really bad has happened. It's like he can't breathe.

"Uhm… maybe- maybe he's just in a different room, hijo. I'm gonna go speak to the doctor, wait here.

"Fine." So Daniel sat down and waited. And waited. And waited. It felt like hours. He remembers his father entering the room again. He could also remember himself, asking where Sean was, and if he was alright. The last thing he remembers is his father, sitting down next to him and pulling him in for a hug. He doesn't remember what his father told him. He doesn't want to. It just hurt too much.

"He didn't make it, hijo. Sean's gone. Your brother is… dead."

Dead.

Sean was dead.

After that point, all he remembers are bits and pieces. He knew he screamed. No words. Just… screamed. He doesn't remember walking out of the hospital that night. But that's because he didn't. Esteban had to carry him out to the car. The ride home was quiet. Not a word from anyone. Daniel was all alone with his thoughts.

As soon as they got back home, Esteban went to his room and grabbed the bag of pot he thought nobody knew about (but everyone did). Then he locked the door. Daniel had only one place he wanted to be in right now. Sean's room. He never really thought that much about it, but Sean always made him feel… safe. If his brother isn't around anymore, maybe his room will be of some comfort. Because Daniel really needed it right now.

His entire arm was shaking as he reached out to open the door, then he remembered Sean's rules. Daniel knocks three times on the door, imagining Sean's voice saying "Yeah?" Then he whispers "Thanks Sean" and enters the room.

It wasn't the first time he was alone in his brother's room, far from it. He's snuck in here many times before. Sometimes without Sean even knowing it. This time was different though. He was trying to hold back all those tears, why he didn't know. He would give anything for Sean to just walk through that door and lecture him about staying out of his room. Anything. Just two days ago, he would have given anything to be able to dig through Sean's stuff without him knowing about it. He had that chance now. He didn't want to. Although, he was still curious. But he felt like he didn't want to show any disrespect towards Sean by going through his stuff.

Instead, Daniel simply goes to Sean's bed and lies down. One of his brother's hoodies hangs on a chair, next to the bed.

"Hm, I always thought you only had one of these Sean." Daniel puts on the hoodie. It's way too big for him, but it feels good. Safe. Daniel puts his hands in the pockets of the hoodie and notices that something is inside. He knows he shouldn't look, but curiosity gets the better of him. He pulls up an envelope.

"No way I'm opening this." He thinks as he begins to put it aside. Then he reads a word written on the backside: Enano

"What the-" Daniel opens it, and as soon as he does, his vision becomes blurry with tears. Inside was about ten photographs of him, Sean, and… Karen. His mother. Sean's mother. Their mother. The same mother that left them eight years ago. Daniel had always been desperate to find out more about her, but Sean refused to talk about it. This, at times, could be the things they fought about the most. Sean knew how badly he wanted something, anything, with his mother. Meanwhile, Daniel also knew just how much Sean despised her. It must have been hard for him to do this, but it meant even more for Daniel.

"Thanks, Sean. Thank you so much." Daniel whispers. Daniel didn't sleep much that night. He just lied in his brother's bed, staring into oblivion, thinking. A lot of thinking. If he didn't convince Sean to leave the party early… then, Sean wouldn't have gotten in that car, meaning he would never have been in that accident, meaning…

"If it wasn't for me… you would still be alive Sean. It's my fault. It's all my fault." Daniel sounds sad, but he isn't crying anymore. Crying isn't enough. It hurt too much. He… killed his own brother. As he realizes this, Daniel just feels empty. Completely empty. Like there's no point in continuing anymore. Maybe... if he didn't… he could see Sean again?

Notes:

Ok, serious question: Why do i get the saddest ideas when I'm about to fall asleep?

Chapter 7: Surprise!

Summary:

Today, Sean Diaz turns eighteen years old. The last few years have been... difficult. Hopefully, he's going to have just a normal day, surrounded by the people he loves.

Notes:

No "incident" ever happened here. Esteban is still alive. Everyone's just living normal, boring lives...

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

August 15th, 2018

Today was a good day. Sean was eighteen years old now. However, he didn't really feel like it. He still felt like a small, insecure kid. He felt like he wasn't ready for adult life and everything that comes with it. His friends wanted him to throw a big party, but Sean was never much of a party animal. He tried not to think about it too much. He knew dad and Daniel would surprise him when he came home from school. Dad and Daniel (ok, maybe not Daniel.) probably were aware of the fact that it wasn't exactly much of a surprise. Daniel had never really made a name for himself by being great at keeping secrets.

Still, Sean was able to pretend like he had no idea when Daniel called out "surprise!" He actually was beginning to feel better about this whole "growing up" thing. Sean had had a period of deep depression over the last two years. He and Lyla had a major falling out at a Halloween party, and they haven't spoken since. Lyla and Sean had been best friends for over fifteen years, supporting each other through various difficult times. After about six months, Lyla moved to New York. Sean didn't know why, and Sean, at the time, didn't care.

It wasn't until Daniel had asked him why Lyla's never around anymore, that Sean broke down completely. His younger brother had been so disappointed to learn that Sean and Lyla weren't friends anymore. It took a long time for both brothers to get over it.

Sean now felt like he was genuinely happy for the first time in, perhaps years. He had a lot of… emotional baggage in his past, yes. But that was in his past. He felt like he could now start to look forward, figure out his dreams in life. But that could wait until tomorrow. Right now, it's time to enjoy a night with the only two people he actually cares about. His father and his brother.

"Happy birthday Sean!" Daniel calls out and almost knocks the breath out of Sean when he runs up and hugs him. Daniel is eleven now, and more energetic than ever before. Sean sometimes wonders if the kid's got ADHD or something.

"Thanks, Enano. It's good to see you too." Sean hugs his brother back, trying to hide the fact that he's almost unable to breathe.

Sean got his birthday dinner, a custom-made pizza, made by none other than his brother. He actually liked it. No, loved it. But he would be lying if he didn't say that as soon as he found out Daniel had made his dinner, he wanted to run. Afterward, he got his presents. Well, both of them.

The car his father had been working on for years had been all fixed up. Now, it belonged to Sean. He didn't know what to say. He felt like he had to do something. Sean walked out to the backyard, took a deep breath. Then, he howls. Esteban was watching, tears in his eyes and a big smile. Two seconds later, Daniel had joined him. When he stood there, howling with his younger brother, Sean felt like nothing could ruin this day. Absolutely nothing.

Then, the wolfbrothers walked back to the living room. It was time for Daniel to give Sean his present.

"Here Sean. Happy birthday." Daniel says quietly while handing him a card and a carefully wrapped package. A package so small, it almost fits in Sean's palm. Sean begins with the card. It has two wolves on the front. Daniel has written on the backside "To the best brother in the world, love you! /Daniel" At the bottom, Daniel has written, in near-microscopic-sized letters "It wasn't easy to track this down, hope you like it…" Sean can now admit the fact that his brother's got him curious. He opens the package, then he just stares in amazement.

Inside, is a lighter. Silver-colored, with the Puerto Lobos crest on it. Identical to the one Sean got from his father, only to lose it somewhere, deep in the woods. That happened during one of Sean's lowest points in life. He had felt terrible, he managed to lose the one thing he actually valued (except his sketchbook, that is.). His father had been disappointed, which was even worse than when he was angry. But now? Now, Daniel, his eleven-year-old brother, had somehow found an identical one.

"Holy sh- Daniel… how- how did you…?" Sean is at a complete loss for words. He doesn't even know what to say.

"Yeah, I know. I remember how bad you felt when you lost it. So, I tried finding one online. I almost gave up. I've spent hours, every week, just searching. It took about five months Sean. I found someone on eBay, but it was… expensive. I had to save up a lot of money. But it is identical. The only difference being… well, let's just say that this one isn't silver-colored." Daniel explains everything, sounding confident and caring, almost like he's practiced. Of course, he's also got the biggest and proudest smile on his face.

"This is- this is amazing Daniel. Thank you. So much." It's all Sean can think of right now. It's not enough, not even close. He embraces his brother and tries desperately to wipe away his tears. At least they were tears of joy this time.

After Sean had recovered from the initial shock, he and Daniel decided to watch a movie together. Esteban had to go back to the garage downstairs. Sean let Daniel pick the movie, he ended up picking The Fellowship Of The Ring. Kind of weird, they only watch that on Christmas. Daniel, however, had said that this day was even more special, so why not?

The sun is about to go down, and they're about halfway through the movie when they hear the doorbell.

"Uhhh, could you get that Enano?" Sean says, half asleep.

"Aw Sean, come on. It's your birthday, It's probably for you anyway." Daniel complains, even more sleepy.

"Ok, I'm going." He takes a deep breath, gathers all possible energy he can, and then rises from the very comfortable couch. It's probably just one of his friends or something. Either way, this day had been perfect. It would take a lot to ruin it. If only he knew… just how bad… things were about to become.

"Yeah, who is it-" Sean goes from almost sleepwalking, to a type of adrenaline-rush in a second and a half. On the other side of the door, stood a woman. A woman in her forties, with short blonde hair. The woman was shaking and appeared to be very nervous, but tried to smile towards Sean. He may not have seen her for ten years, but he would recognize her any day of the week.

Karen.

Karen Reynolds.

A.k.a. Karen Diaz.

His mother.

What the fuck?

"Hello, Sean. Happy eighteenth birthday my son." Karen said, almost whispering. Sean just stood there, silent, frozen. He was finally pulled back to reality when Daniel walked up behind him.

"Who is it, Sean?" Daniel hasn't seen her yet, Sean is quick to act. He slams the door in Karen's face, without a word.

"No one Daniel. It was just… some religious people wanting to sell us shit. Forget about it." Sean's fighting like never before. He's fighting not to cry, and he's fighting against his own anger. Which, when it comes to his mother, has always been a losing battle. Daniel isn't buying it. Shit, this was so much easier when he was younger.

"Sean… is everything ok?" Daniel asks, sounding a bit worried.

"Yeah Enano, everything's fine. Let's keep watching the movie." Sean tries to change the subject, but before he realizes it, Daniel is looking out the window.

"SEAN! SEAN?! Is- Is that- Is that mom?!" Daniel can barely contain all his excitement. Of course, he doesn't remember when she left. He didn't spend countless nights without sleep, desperately hoping she would come back. Only to realize time and time again, she's not coming back, causing you to break down on a regular basis from the age of eight. Daniel doesn't remember that they actually have grandparents, they just don't see them anymore since she left. No, only Sean remembers all that shit. Daniel only sees his mom. The mom he's been so desperate to meet. Sean, however, sees only pain, misery, tears, angst, hatred, all put together into one person. That person being Karen.

"NO! Daniel don't-" Sean tries to stop his brother. But it's too late. Daniel has already opened the front door and stands eye to eye with his mother. For the first time in his life.

"Are- are you… mom?" Daniel asks, voice trembling. Sean wants to run. He wants to pull his brother inside and lock the door. But he's completely frozen. Again. Fuck.

"Are you Daniel?" Karen smiles. "Of course you are. Yes, Daniel, I'm your mom." Sean can see what she's trying to pull. She's trying to act all nice to Daniel, and it's working too. But he can't let this happen. He can't let his brother go through the same shit he did. Never.

"MOM!" Daniel cries out and launches himself in his mother's arms. He got to hug his mother for the first time. At age eleven. That made something snap inside of Sean. His anger finally boils over. He quickly walks up to the crying pair that is Daniel and Karen. Then, he grabs Daniel by the neck collar and pulls as hard as he can. He does not, under any circumstances, want to touch Karen.

"That's it, Daniel! Inside. Now!" He forces Daniel to let go of his mother.

"Ow, Sean. You're hurting me." Daniel starts to cry, but Sean has completely lost it. Ten years of built-up anger is about to be let out.

"Stay the fuck inside Daniel. It's for your own good. Do you hear me?" Sean is screaming at his younger brother. Daniel doesn't give him an answer, instead, he slams the door in his face. Sean has been locked out. With Karen.

Now, the reality of the situation begins to sink in. what the fuck did he just do to his brother? What kind of person is he? He would never hurt his brother. Never. It's all her fault.

"It's been a long time Sean. And… I'm- I'm sorry for th-" Karen was the one to break the silence. It didn't take much from her to refuel Sean's rage.

"You're sorry? You left us, just like that, and you're sorry? You told me bedtime stories one night, looked me in the eyes, and promised me that you would never leave me. The next day, you left. And now, ten years later, you just show up, and you're telling me, that you're sorry? You have caused me a fucking decade of pain and depression. I've spent hundreds of nights, either crying myself to sleep or, hoping you would be back the next day! But you never came back, Karen. You never came back. So don't tell me that you're fucking sorry! Stay the fuck away from me, and stay the fuck away from Daniel, do you hear me?"

Karen just listens calmly. Sean tries to sound as threatening as he possibly can, because, part of him genuinely wants to. He wants to scare away the woman that ruined his childhood. The problem is, the longer he talks, the weaker his voice gets. His vision gets more and more blurry with tears. When he's done talking, he sits down on a chair outside. He doesn't want her to see him cry, but he can't stop it. That's when he feels an arm on his shoulder.

"Maybe you should go inside, Hijo." Esteban says with a deep sigh. Then he looks at Karen. Sean began running track at age thirteen, but he's never been as fast as he was now. He wanted to be as far away from his mother as possible. Plus, he did not want to hear whatever words might come from his parent's stare-down. He runs to his room and slams the door shut.

Sean just sits on his bed, knees pulled up to his chest, and cries. Loud. Very loud, heartbreaking sobs. He couldn't bother hiding it anymore. He doesn't even notice a small knock on the door. After a few seconds, another couple of knocks, this time louder. Sean still doesn't notice. Neither does he notice when Daniel walks into his room.

Daniel studies the sobbing mess that is his older brother. He feels somewhat conflicted about what to do here. Part of him wants to comfort Sean as any brother should. Daniel is old enough now, to understand that Sean sees their mother very differently than he does. But, in all his anger, Sean hurt him. He hurt Daniel in… more ways than one. Daniel feels like he can't forgive Sean for that.

"S- Sean?" Too late now. Sean twitches like he was scared to death by his brother's voice. He completely buries his face in his palms. He can't even look at his brother.

"I'm sorry Daniel. I'm so sorry. I- I don't know what happened. I just… lost it." Sean is too ashamed to even look at his brother. Daniel sits down, next to his brother.

"Yes, Sean. You did." Daniel says, sounding sad. Sean finally raises his head and looks at his younger brother. Sean's eyes immediately become wide with fear. Daniel is quick to respond.

"It's not as bad as it looks, Sean. I promise." Daniel's nose is red, he's bleeding. Not much, but more than enough to make Sean feel even worse.

"Shit. Did I do- please tell me I didn't do that?" Sean already knows the answer. He feels like he's about to throw up.

"Yeah, you kinda did… asshole. When you… pushed me inside, I fell and hit my nose. It hurt a lot, Sean. You- you did that. Why- why would you do that?" Daniel is on the verge of tears but does everything he can to hold them back. Sean feels horrible. The fact that he ruined his brother's reunion with his mom is bad enough. The way he did it, even worse. But he actually made Daniel bleed today. He has never done that before. He feels like the worst brother in the entire world.

"I don't know. It's just… this day was so perfect… then, she shows up, out of fucking nowhere. So many memories coming back, good and bad. Too much is happening at once. I just see her as the reason why I've been feeling like shit over the years. But you… you just see mom, Enano. I just don't want you to be hurt like I was."

Daniel puts an arm around Sean, the latter still a sobbing mess. "It's ok Sean. It doesn't hurt that much anymore. Honestly, it was mostly just blood." Yeah, that really makes Sean feels better. More blood, great.

"Seriously Sean. I forgive you. You're my brother. I know you went through some… bad times after mom left."

"Really? Do- do you really mean that?" Is Daniel really willing to forgive him? Just like that?

"Of course I do. On one condition." Well… shit. Usually, this is the part where Daniel demands to stay up late or have a bag of Chock-O-Crisp. Considering the circumstances at the moment, Sean has a feeling that he won't like this condition.

"I just want you to… talk to her. Talk to mom. Listen to what she wants to say and why she's here. And you know… don't be a dick about it. Then I'll forgive you." Shit. The kid's got him now.

"Daniel- I- I don't know… if I can do that." It's the truth. He really doesn't think he can.

"Sure you can Sean. Otherwise, I won't forgive you. I'm going to wash my face now, because, you know, the blood?" Damn. Daniel was really working his ass off to make him feel bad now. To be fair, he did deserve it. There was no getting out of this now. Sean takes a deep breath and then walks out of his room to speak to his mother.

They sit around the dinner table. All four of them, for the first time in ten years. Esteban, Sean, Daniel and… Karen. Esteban seems a bit awkward, but still somewhat happy. Karen isn't nervous anymore. She's already talked to Esteban, Daniel's more than happy to see her, and now, Sean has agreed to talk. Sean is a wreck. He feels like shit. He literally abused his kid-brother, to the point where he began to bleed. Now, he's sitting, face-to-face, with his mother. What the actual fuck happened to this day?

Sean looks at Karen, she looks back at him. Both of them, waiting for the other to break the silence. Karen is the one to speak up.

"So, Sean… I just want you to-" She doesn't have time to finish the sentence before Sean interrupts.

"Why did you leave?" He didn't think, he just said it. Part of him didn't want an answer, yet he felt like he had to know. Whatever the reason may have been, it wasn't good enough.

"I wasn't meant to be a mom, Sean. It's just that simple. I know you might expect me to have some kind of elaborate story to explain it, but I don't. You remember your grandmother Claire, right? Imagine growing up with her, what kind of person that would make you, and how your dreams would be crushed, over and over again."

"If- If you weren't supposed to have kids, then why did you?" Sean is struggling to keep calm now.

"Well, to be honest… It just… kind of happened. I tried to live what they call a normal life Sean. I tried for many years. Not only that, but I believed at first that another child could have been the solution to everything. That's when Daniel came along. But it wasn't the solution. There was only one way for me to be happy. It was to leave you." Karen wipes away a few tears.

"So, you left because you weren't happy with us. Is that it?" Sean isn't even angry anymore. Just sad. All those emotions he buried deep inside years ago are now returning. Worse than ever before. He can feel someone grabbing his hand. He looks to his side, it's Daniel. His brother looks at him and smiles.

"No Sean. It's a lot more complicated than that. I left because I wasn't happy here, yes. But that had nothing to do with any of you. It was never your fault. It had nothing to do with you, it was… me. I loved you more than anything in the world, I still do." Karen has a sad look on her face.

"Then why never contact us? Not even a fucking phone call?! Or a postcard, wishing us a merry Christmas? You took away everything but gave us nothing Karen. I'll never forgive you." Sean remained calm, his voice filled with hatred.

"Sean, that's enough. Please…?" Daniel tries to get his brother to calm down. At the same time, Daniel felt very conflicted. He had already forgiven Sean, he just wanted him to speak to their mother. But now, he feels stuck between being a loyal and supportive brother and speaking to his mother. The latter being something he's always wanted. He can see that Sean is in pain. His older brother needs support. But Daniel needs a mom. Then again, his mom left him once. Would she do it again?

"I don't know why I never contacted you. I really don't. I have had my fair share of ups and downs as well. Things didn't really work out as expected. I was on the road a lot. Then, before I knew it, ten years had passed. I thought about it for a long time. Then I decided to come here, today." Karen smiles a little. She almost looks proud.

"You ruined everything." Sean wants to scream, but all he can manage is a pathetic whimper. Daniel puts a hand on his shoulder.

"I'm not seeking your forgiveness, Sean. I know fully well, that I don't deserve it. I do want to apologize for just appearing out of nowhere. It might not have been the best idea." Karen looks him right in his eyes. Sean gets a strange feeling. He feels like he's got nothing more… bad to say to her. He's already said all those thoughts he's had in his head over the last decade. It feels… good. He feels relieved.

It was a weird thing to feel. He had to get up, walk around, anything. Sean gets up and starts pacing around inside, slowly. After about ten seconds, his brother appears behind him. Sometimes, the kid goes full-on ninja mode.

"Are you ok Sean?" Daniel asks.

"I think so, yeah. It's just… not easy. I just hope that you can… you know… forgive me now?" Sean immediately regrets asking the question. Daniel, on the other hand, looks confused like he's thinking of something. Either that or trying to remember. After a few seconds, he bursts out laughing.

"Sean, you really are dumb sometimes. And you say I'm easy to fool big brother?" Daniel can barely speak clearly, he's almost choking due to laughing. Meanwhile, Sean is more confused than ever.

"What- what are you talking about?" Sean asked, no clue about what to expect. Daniel instantly composes himself, turning a lot more serious. He was growing up fast.

"Sean, a forgave you the moment you apologized. I lied about the condition because I want to talk to mom and… I thought it would be good for you to do so too." Daniel smiles at Sean. He doesn't know what to say, or feel, or even think. Part of him wants to be grateful to the kid, another part of him wants to punch hi- NO! He erases that last thought as quickly as it appeared. He will never hurt his brother again. But, what did he feel? Talking to Karen had actually felt good, at least in the end. It sure as hell wasn't easy, but he did it. Thanks to his brother.

Sean kneels down and wraps his arms around Daniel. "Thank you Enano. Thank you." Daniel hugs him back. When Sean gets up, Karen stands in front of him. Shit.

"Sean, I- I think I'm going to leave now. I gave my address and phone number to Esteban if you ever want to… I won't blame you if you don't. So, I guess this is it. It was good seeing you, Sean. Goodbye." Sean still remembers how piss-poor Karen was at hiding her tears, she still is. She turns around and begins to walk away.

"WAIT!" Sean screams, way louder than intended. Karen stops and turns around.

"Thanks for coming mom, I've missed you. I've missed you so fucking much." Sean embraces his mother. The last time he did so, he was eight years old. He calls her "mom" and not "Karen". He cries into her arms. It doesn't mean he's forgiven her, he probably never will. The wounds she caused will never fully heal. But what happened today felt like a major step in the right direction.

Notes:

This one turned out about twice as long as intended. Appreciate any comments... Enjoy!

Chapter 8: Desert Wolf

Summary:

Daniel has been guilt-tripping a lot since being saved from Haven Point. A lot of it has to do with Sean and... his eye. Daniel feels like he needs some kind of closure on the Humboldt incident. The question is, is he ready?

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Somewhere in the Arizona desert, one month after Haven Point.

Daniel woke up in the middle of the night. Another nightmare. With… her. He had learned to live with his past coming back to haunt him during the nights, at least up until Haven Point happened. Now, every single night, he was haunted by nightmares of Lisbeth coming to take him back. Either that or hurt Sean in the most gruesome ways imaginable. It's become more and more common that he wakes up screaming. Luckily, this wasn't one of those nights. He didn't wake anyone up. He listens, tries to hear his mom breathe from the couch in the corner.

"Ok, mom's still there." He thinks, smiling a little. Then, from nowhere, he's hit with a massive wave of fear. Sean. Where the fuck is Sean? Where is his brother? Did Lisbeth kidnap him? Did he… run away? No, he would never do that. Daniel turns around, only to see Sean on the other side of the bed. All of his fear instantly disappears. Then, as he looks at his brother's face, he remembers. He remembers how stupid he was, immature, selfish, and in the end, that cost Sean his fucking eye.

They never talked much about it. Just a few words, here and there, but never really talked. Every time, every single time Daniel tried to bring it up, Sean would just tell him that "it's fine." Daniel knew his brother better than that. He knew Sean was hurting, physically and mentally. The signs were… obvious at times. Karen's trailer wasn't exactly large, so having three people in it makes navigation difficult for anyone. For Sean, with one eye and no depth-perception, combined with a completely new environment, it's a disaster. At least for the first few weeks.

Daniel could wake up to a loud bang, followed by Sean swearing loudly. He would literally walk right into the door, on more than one occasion. In Seattle, seeing something similar would have made Daniel laugh beyond all control. This was different. It's something that happened because of him. His brother can't even walk straight, because of him. Sean would always deny it, of course. But Daniel could hear him sometimes, talking with their mom. He would tell her that he can't take it anymore, then have a complete breakdown. When asked about it, he would deny that too. Because of course, he would. So much for him promising to never lie again.

Daniel takes a deep breath. He looks at his sleeping brother. "He looks so tired. So exhausted. So many scars on his face…" Daniel thinks, ignoring the tears flowing. No one can see them now anyway. He takes a closer look at the eye-patch.

"You shouldn't have to wear this, Sean. I know you're only doing it for me, but you shouldn't have to. You're… doing so much already." He hesitates, then slowly moves his hand towards the eye-patch. The very second his fingers touch it, he quickly draws his hand back. It felt like fire.

"No, not… like this. We'll talk tomorrow Sean. For real this time." He whispers. Then, Daniel carefully takes Sean's arm, puts it over his own shoulder, and tries to go back to sleep.

When Daniel woke up the next day, Sean was already up. Just like yesterday, and the day before that. He always wants to get the eye-cleaning stuff done before Daniel gets up. That way, he can pretend like it never happened. Like it's not something extremely necessary for him to do. Daniel stopped questioning that part a long time ago. He knows the answer. But today, he's going to demand answers. For better or worse.

"Morning Sean." Daniel yawns as he greets his brother. It took hours before he was able to fall back to sleep.

"Morning Enano. How did you sleep? Did you have any… you know?" Sean asks carefully. Haven Point is still a very sensitive topic, sometimes, not even Sean can ask him about it. That says a lot.

"I- I didn't sleep much…" Daniel says, trying to avoid the subject.

"Was it the same drea-"

"Yes!" Sean asks, but Daniel interrupts him.

"Are you ok, Enano?" Why is Sean even asking him that? No, he's not ok. He hasn't been ok in a long fucking time. His dad is dead, he's homeless, has been shot, cost his brother an eye, and been trapped in a cult. Nothing is ok. Daniel does his best to compose himself, he doesn't want to yell at Sean. Especially now.

"No Sean, I'm not. I think we have to talk." Daniel sits down, he tries to eat something, but he just doesn't have any appetite. It's strange, in a way. When they lived in that abandoned cabin, Daniel would have done just about anything to get a normal breakfast. He was starving back then. Now, when he actually can eat, he doesn't want to. It's something that's been happening more and more.

"Ok man, what do you want to talk about?" Sean joins his brother, he has that serious look on his face.

"You know what, Sean." Daniel says, looking at Sean. His older brother's face goes from serious to something more along the lines of a "this shit again" look.

"Daniel… I told you a thousand times, it's fine, it wasn't your fault. Sean tries to sound convincing.

"Please, just stop it, Sean! I know you're lying to me! Even after you promised you wouldn't! I hear you talking to mom, saying you can't take this shit anymore. I wake up to you bumping into shit, and I know why you always get up before I do. So just stop bullshitting me, please!" Daniel's pissed. Sean lies to him, doesn't take him seriously, and it fucking hurts. Meanwhile, Sean's completely stunned. He did not expect to be lectured by his ten-year-old brother. He realizes that the worst part is that Daniel's right.

"Shit… I'm sorry Daniel. I- I didn't know you worried about it that much. I'm so sorry." Daniel seems a bit calmer, so Sean continues.

"So… let's talk, I guess. Ask me whatever you want, I'll do my best to answer it." Sean instantly regretted saying those words. God only knows what that kid might ask him. Daniel did not wait for long.

"Are you mad at me, Sean? And don't lie, please. It just makes me feel even worse." Sean is beginning to understand that his brother is growing up. Therefore, he's a lot more difficult to fool. He takes a deep breath.

"I- I don't think so, no. not at you. I've been angry at other people, the situation we're in, but never at you." Sean looks directly at his brother as he speaks. Daniel wants to believe him, he sounds honest.

"But, what about… your eye?" Daniel avoids his brother's eye. He still feels massive guilt about it.

"I'm not gonna lie, Enano. It's definitely… an adjustment, it's gonna take some time to get used to it. But I will get used to it. I'm guessing you want the full truth? Do I hate it? Yeah, I hate it. It's fucking horrible. But that doesn't mean I hate you. It was just… a terrible accident. It wasn't your fault." Daniel listens to his brother, then lets out a breath he didn't even know he was holding in. at least Sean doesn't hate him. That was the easy part of today. Now for the difficult part.

"Sean, I… I have to ask you something…" Does he? Really?

"Sure, Enano. Go ahead." Sean, as always, encouraging him when he can see Daniel is having a hard time.

"I don't know… it's gonna sound weird." Yep. It was. No point denying that. But it had to be done. It just had to.

"It's ok, Daniel. Take your time. I won't laugh at you, and I'm not gonna get angry. I promise." There's that smile again. Where the fuck would he be without his older brother? Ok, here it goes.

"I- I- I think… ihavetoseeyoureye!" Daniel is so nervous, he ends up saying everything at once. Then, he buries his face in his palms. Not because he needs to cry, he just feels so ashamed for even asking. Thinking about it was bad enough. Actually asking, that was on a whole other level of shame. He just sits there, waiting for Sean to either have a nervous breakdown or get really mad. Like, really mad. It took at least two minutes before he got a response from Sean.

"Oh…" That's it? "Oh…" Daniel has never been so nervous in a conversation like he was at the beginning of this one. Only to end up with "Oh…" Fuck.

"What do you mean, Sean?" Someone needs to break this silence. It's starting to become really awkward.

"It's just… I don't know. A bit unexpected, I guess. Can I ask why, Daniel?" Ok, Sean's not pissed, good. He's not having a breakdown either, even better. The tone in his voice, however, made it very clear that he wasn't simply asking why Daniel wanted to see his eye. He was demanding to know. Daniel was on very thin ice right now.

"You- you can't hide it from me forever, Sean. I'm gonna see it sooner or later. It's not like I want to… part of me just want you to keep using the eye-patch forever, maybe I'll forget about this shit. But I don't want Sean with an eye-patch. I just want… Sean. My big brother. I love you, Sean. No matter how… you look." Daniel fought back his tears and did his best to pull out a smile at the end. Sean was starting to cry. From both eyes. It hurt. Literally. It was really fucking painful for Sean Diaz to cry.

"Shit… thanks, man. Love you too. But… are you sure? You know, are you sure it's really a good idea, Daniel?" Sean felt really proud of his little brother. Just the thought of Daniel trying to hold a similar speech a year ago makes Sean smile. Daniel in Seattle had been a hyperactive kid, with few friends, he didn't do great in school, was desperate for a motherly figure in his life, and finally, courtesy of Sean and Lyla, a bit spoiled. It's amazing to see how much the kid has grown, perhaps too much.

"Yeah, Sean. I'm sure. Actually, I think it's good for both of us." Daniel says, smiling. Sean moves a bit closer to his brother.

"So, uh… how do you want to…" Sean is clearly starting to feel uncomfortable. It's not like he can just tear off the eye-patch. Daniel takes a deep breath, trying to compose himself. He can do this, he needs to do this. He needs some kind of closure to the whole Humboldt-heist incident.

"Wait. Let- let me, Sean. Just… don't move." Daniel heard Sean and Lyla talk once. Lyla described what a panic attack felt like. He didn't really think it sounded that bad. Until now. He's sweating ten times more than he did a few minutes ago, his heart beats so fast, he believes it might break a few ribs. He can't even breathe. Fuck. Not now.

"Enano. Calm down. Breathe. Just… breathe, ok? Take your time, I'm still here, and I'm not leaving you." Sean obviously saw the signs. Daniel manages to calm down. Thank god.

"Thanks, Sean." Daniel whispers while keeping his eyes closed.

"Maybe- maybe we should wait with this, Daniel?" Sean makes one last futile attempt. But Daniel has made up his mind. And if Daniel Diaz has decided to go through with something, there are very few things in this world that can change his mind. It's… part of the reason they're sitting like this.

"No, Sean. I have to." Daniel sits face-to-face with Sean. This time, keeping his eyes closed.

"You can do this man, you have to!" He tells himself. Then, he slowly reaches out with his hand towards Sean's face, preparing to remove the eye-patch. He hasn't been this scared since Merrill pointed a shotgun at him.

"Ouch, what the fuck? Wrong eye, Daniel." Sean calls out, laughing. Daniel didn't think things through and ended up sticking his finger in Sean's healthy eye.

"Oh, sorry Sean," Daniel says, giggling. It felt good to laugh. They don't do that much anymore. Daniel refocuses, he can now feel the eye-patch. He carefully removes it from Sean's face. He holds it in his hands, still with his eyes closed. Daniel feels the weight of that tiny black fabric in his hand. He might as well have been holding an anvil. It felt so heavy. How could something so small, so meaningless, cause so much pain? It didn't make sense.

Sean is completely quiet. But he can hear his brother's shaky breathing. Sean is not looking forward to this. But it's too late to back out now. Daniel throws the eye-patch away, to where, he doesn't know, neither does he care. After today, his brother won't need it. Then, Daniel Diaz opens his eyes, and looks at Sean, one-eyed Sean, for the first time in his life.

If he didn't get a panic attack earlier, he did now. One-half of Sean's face was completely normal. Just… Sean, his big brother, smiling nervously towards him. The other half was… different, compared to when he last saw it. Where Sean's left eye should be, there was just an empty socket, empty of an eye at least. What it did have, was dried blood, and a yellow-ish liquid of unknown origin. Daniel was wrong. Very wrong. He couldn't do this. It's because of him that… Sean looks that way.

He wants to scream, but he can't open his mouth. He wants to stop looking at the horrific way that he's disfigured his brother, but he can't. His heart feels like it's about to explode, and he starts to hyperventilate. Sean's smile quickly disappears, turning to his serious look. He doesn't think about covering his eye though.

"Daniel? Is- is everything alright, buddy?" Sean moves even closer to Daniel. Any other day, this is a gesture that would make him feel safe, loved, protected. Now, it just makes him see Sean's injury even closer, even more detailed. All the scars from the glass, the fact that he doesn't even have any fucking eyelids. The fact that all of this is Daniel's fault. Everything. It causes something inside him to break.

"NO! Don't touch me, I- I have to- let me out!" He feels sick. As soon as Sean puts his hand on his shoulder, he runs outside, to the back, and vomits. When there are no more contents to throw up, he can feel a familiar hand again. Sean. He doesn't turn around. He's not brave enough.

"It's fine, Enano. It's- it's not your fault." There it is again. Daniel swears he could probably wipe out an entire kindergarten, with everyone inside it, using his powers, on purpose. Yet, Sean would still find a way to say that it wasn't his fault. He's had enough. His blood is fucking boiling. Boiling with rage, guilt, shock, everything. He turns around, tears in his eyes.

"Shut the FUCK up, Sean! It IS my fault, don't you get it? Can you stop believing that I'm so fucking perfect, that I can never do anything wrong? It's my fault we're out here, you dumbass! It's my fault Brett got pissed, because I broke the rules, meaning it's my fucking fault dad died, and I killed that cop! Not you, Sean! Not fucking you! I never asked you to kidnap me, I lost everything, Sean, everything. I can't do anything right. I let Mushroom out, she died. I showed my powers to Chris, he… gets killed. I tried to help you make money, and I end up getting shot, costing you an eye, then I was stuck in a fucking cult because I got you arrested. So, tell me Sean, is none of this my fault? Fucking SAY SOMETHING!"

Daniel is screaming at his older brother, the latter completely stunned. Sean expected Daniel to have some kind of negative reaction, the day he saw him without an eye-patch. He never expected it to be this bad. Not in a million years. He thought he was helping his brother, telling him it wasn't his fault. Even when, at times, it was. Did he mess things up? He has to say something, but what? Where should he even begin?

"Daniel… I- I know I messed up, and I'm sorry. I swear, I didn't know you felt that way. If I had known-" Wrong move.

"You didn't know?! You didn't know, because you never even ask!" Daniel screams at his brother. He feels hurt. He can't stay here, he needs to go. Somewhere, anywhere. Away from… Away. So he runs. Sean is calling out after him, but he doesn't care. He runs and doesn't stop for anything. Not the extremely hot sun in the desert, not dehydration, not the sand burning at his feet (he didn't even have shoes on). Daniel Diaz ran like his life depended on it.

He didn't think of where he was running, he was just… running. He didn't care to keep track of how long it had been, but ultimately, he's forced to stop. Daniel had reached a mountaintop at the canyon. He barely realized it himself, he just stopped on an impulse, to avoid falling down. The rest of his body immediately catches up with him, and he feels it all at once. The hunger, due to him throwing up earlier. How dehydrated he is, running in the desert is not recommended. His feet, shit, his feet covered with blisters, and completely red. Hurts like hell too. It only took him a split second, then, he remembered the reason he ran. Sean. Fucking Sean.

Daniel falls down to his knees. Then, he screams. He screams out all the pain, anger, frustration, sorrow, guilt, and trauma over the past years. Then, he takes a deep breath and screams again. And again. And again. And again. He screams so long, and so loud, his starting to lose his voice. He screams so much, he doesn't even notice that his powers activated, literally pulverizing a cliff on the other side of the canyon. When he's exhausted himself, he just lies down, awaiting his inevitable demise. He deserves it. At least, that's how he feels.

"What the fuck was I thinking? Closure? I'm so stupid. So fucking stupid. Why did I expect anything else to happen? I'm- I'm not ready… i- can't see Sean… like that. It's my fault. It's all my fault." Daniel's lying in the hot desert sand, whispering to himself, words that only guilt-trips him even more.

"Enano?" Sean had been running track for longer than Daniel cared to remember, meaning that he had always been the faster out of the two. But holy god-damn-shit, Sean had never, ever, seen Daniel as fast as he was today. Part of him felt pretty god-damn proud, even impressed. The other part of him was fucking terrified! A ten-year-old running out into the desert, alone. He didn't even want to think about the many ways that could end, but he knew they weren't good. Sean had immediately gone inside Karen's trailer, packed a few things in his backpack, and then he ran after his brother. He lost him, somewhere in the canyon, but was able to find him due to the screams. Those terrible, heartbreaking screams. Sean knew they would haunt him at night for years to come. But, that's not important now, what matters now, is talking with his brother. The brother who's on the ground, ignoring him.

"Daniel. It's- it-s ok. I- uhh- I have the eye-patch now." Sean says, trying to choose his words carefully. He doesn't want his brother to have another meltdown.

"Why did you come after me, Sean? You're smart, you're the smartest person I know. You should know, better than anyone, that I'm not worth it. I'm… just not, Sean." Daniel's voice is hoarse, making him difficult to hear, especially since Sean still keeps a certain distance. He heard this far too well though. It literally hurt Sean, physically and mentally, to see his brother in so much pain. So much guilt.

"Daniel, don't you ever say that again, do you hear me?" Sean came off as a lot angrier than he intended, but at least Daniel looked at him now.

"Why…?" Daniel asked. Sean moved closer, he could see the pain in his brother's eyes. How tired he was, how scared he was.

"Because… you are worth it, Enano. To me, you are worth everything I've gone through." This time, Sean did not lie. Neither did he twist any words, nor leave any details out. This, this was the truth.

"Do you really mean that, Sean?" Daniel asks, still not moving from the ground.

"Of course I do. Do you think I let you keep a dog, that you stole, just for the heck of it? Even if I knew it would be an extra mouth to feed? No. I did it for you, Enano. Because you needed something, someone, to make you happy." All he did now, was reminding Daniel of Mushroom. Great job, Sean. Idiot.

"Or, why would I let you go with Chris to the Christmas market, when I knew it was a risk? Because I knew you had to get out of that house, Enano." Fuck Sean. Now you reminded him of Chris. Get your shit together!

"I- I know I was an asshole to you in Humboldt, Daniel. I know. But, if I didn't care about you, if I thought you weren't worth it, tell me this Daniel. Why would I break out of federal custody and steal a car? Actually, it's the only real crime I've ever done. Why would I literally walk, through the fucking desert, after getting beat-up by racist rednecks? Did I do that for fun? Or how about this, why the actual fuck, did I come back to that church a second time? You made it clear the first time that you wanted to stay, and I got beat up. Again. Then, I had to make peace with MOM. Was that for fun, Daniel? Huh?! Then, I got beat up, so badly, that I don't ever think some wounds will heal. Now, tell me, Daniel. Why the fuck would I do that, if I did not care?"

Shit.

Sean knows he fucked up now. Big time. He lost all possible control, at which point, his own repressed trauma got the better of him. He just collapsed on the ground, pulled his legs to his chest, crying. Sean had always been careful, not to cry in front of Daniel. At this point, it felt like it didn't really matter anymore. Sean's pulled back to reality, feeling a small hand on his knee. Daniel.

This time, Sean was the one who was scared to look. When he did, he saw that his brother was smiling at him. Daniel may still be laying on the ground, too exhausted to get up. But he still crawled over to Sean, because he wanted to give him that smile.

"I just-" Daniel tries to speak, but his voice is too hoarse. Sean takes out a water bottle from his backpack.

"Here, Enano. Drink this. You're dehydrated, you need water." Daniel finishes the entire bottle in less than ten seconds. Yep, he needed water.

"I just want you to… be honest with me, Sean. Like you were, just now. Ok, maybe not exactly like you just were. That was… kinda scary, Sean." Daniel means every word he's saying. He wants his brother to be honest with him. Not the same bullshit where nothing is ever his fault.

"Yeah. I- I think I get it now, Daniel. I actually think I do. Ok. I promise you, no more bullshit, no more lies to make you feel better because obviously, they don't. How does that sound?" Sean smiles, but Daniel gives him a very skeptical look. A look that says "I know you better than that."

"Sean…" Daniel whines.

"Yeah ok, you got me. Here it is. You know me, I can't promise to never lie, because I don't know how our future will look. What I can promise, is to do everything in my power, to be honest with you, take you seriously and make sure that you never have to feel like this, ever again. That, I can promise, Daniel. Deal?" Sean looked very seriously at his brother. Serious, but still, the same old caring Sean. His brother.

"Deal, Sean!" Daniel says, still exhausted. He wants to hug his brother, then he remembers all those terrible things he said to him earlier. That Sean… kidnapped him. Fuck.

"Hey, Sean?" He needs to do this. Actually, he wants to do this as well.

"Yeah, Enano?" Sean looks at him, he still hasn't put a finger on Daniel.

"I'm sorry. About… the stuff I said… before. It was like… something just snapped, I couldn't control it. Doesn't make it ok though. I really am sorry. You didn't kidnap me, Sean. You're my brother. I love you, no matter what." Daniel can feel the tears coming. Sean finally grabs his younger brother and sits with him in his arms.

"Thank you, Daniel. I mean it. Thank you. And… I'm sorry too. I said some… bad shit as well." Sean, also feels the tears coming.

"You still have to wear the eye-patch, Sean. Sorry" Daniel sounds a bit disappointed.

"Honestly, Daniel? I wasn't expecting anything else. That actually is fine." He's gotten so used to it by now anyway.

"So, you ready to head back now, Enano?" Please, just say yes.

"Yeah. But, Sean, I can't walk." Daniel looks at Sean like the latter is a complete idiot for suggesting it.

"It's fine, Enano. I brought your shoes. Now, come on." Luckily, he did bring Daniel's shoes.

"No, Sean. I- I can't. My feet, look." Daniel cries, pointing at his feet.

"Holy shit, Daniel. What the fuck- how did you even run like this?" Both feet are covered with blisters like they've been burned, and they're red and extremely swollen. Daniel can't put on his shoes, meaning he can't walk, meaning- shit. NO!

NO!

SERIOUSLY, NO!

"Come on, Sean. Hurry up, I'm starving." Sean had to carry his little brother all the way back to… Away.

"Shut the fuck up." He was not amused.

"Hey! Language, mister!" Daniel was. Because now, he truly felt loved. Sean could have left him out there, and nobody would have known. But he didn't. He came after him, and carried him home, through the desert.

"Oh, don't be a hypocrite! You're the one that wanted me to be honest." Sean complains, but it's all in good spirit… mostly. His back is killing him, but considering that his ten-year-old brother was suicidal today, only to now laughing and joking with Sean. That, that is what makes it worth it.

Notes:

This one ended up a lot longer than I expected. I feel pleased with the results. There probably was a part of Daniel that kind of wanted to see what his brother looked like, but was too ashamed and/or terrified to ask.

Anyway, feedback is greatly appreciated. Comment down below if you want.

Chapter 9: Denial

Summary:

Sean just got some bad news. Very bad news. He's terrified actually. Then, he realizes... he has to tell Daniel about it. How is he going to handle it, when Sean's barely able to do it himself?

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Seattle, early summer, 2016.

Sean always loved the summers. He liked the heat, go swimming with his brother, hanging out with his friends without freezing to death. At least, he used to love it, this time of year. Now, he's scared. He was over at Lyla's place last week, he had been feeling… weird for a couple of days. But at the time, he didn't really think much of it. Sean had been pale as a ghost, and could barely speak a complete sentence. About twenty minutes later, he collapsed in Lyla's living room. She had freaked-the-fuck-out, as she told him, then called an ambulance.

Upon arriving at the hospital, Sean had to go through all of those standard procedures. Nurses checking his reflexes, his eyes, taking blood samples, all that shit. He's been through it before. Really, who hasn't? He thought that after all the basic shit was over, he would be put in a room overnight for observation, then he could go home in the morning.

WRONG!

When a doctor entered the room with a serious look on his face, Sean didn't really think much of it. Doctors can be assholes too. When, said doctor, told him that he was about to have an MRI scan and a CT scan, he was confused. He had heard of those things, of course. He just didn't really know what it was. The doctor told him they wanted to scan his brain, to rule out a couple of things. Sean didn't even think of what those things could have been, so he agreed. Now, he wished he didn't.

A few hours later, he's in his hospital bed, waiting. His father enters the room. Sean immediately knew something was very wrong. His father was crying. Not just a few tears in his eyes either, but really crying. It scared him. A lot. But not as much as what his father told him. Thank fucking god that Daniel's at a sleepover. At least he never had to see this.

Sean heard from his father that… he's sick.

Very sick.

He's going to… die.

Sean Diaz is dying, and he's barely hit sixteen. What the fuck?

The scans on his brain had confirmed the worst possible scenario. Sean had a tumor, growing on his spinal cord. It was impossible to remove it without Sean dying. He would only get sicker and sicker, perhaps even end up in a wheelchair. That is if he lived long enough. He stopped listening after being told that, very soon, it would have a major effect on his motor skills, meaning he probably couldn't draw anymore. Fuck. What the fuck is he going to do? Can he even do anything?

Sean's sent home early in the morning. The car ride home with his father is quiet. Very quiet. Nobody says a word. Esteban doesn't know what to say. He knows Sean's too old for any "it's gonna be fine" lies. Meanwhile, Sean doesn't want to speak to anyone, ever again. As he walks towards the house, he already knows what to do. He will walk inside, go to his room, lock the door, pull down the curtains, turn off every fucking light, and just… lie down. At first, he thought about smoking a shitload of pot, while blasting Gorillaz in his headphones. But… he just doesn't feel like it. He's just going to lie down and cry. No point in doing shit anyway.

Sean had barely walked through the door before something small and blue flashed at the speed of light. Daniel, overjoyed by seeing his brother after spending almost twenty-four hours apart, had run towards Sean immediately and launched himself at him. Fuck. In all this mess, he completely forgot about his little brother. He doesn't know. Shit.

"Sean! Oh my god, finally. I thought you guys would never come back. I missed you…" Daniel sounds almost a little embarrassed. But, Sean doesn't notice. Not today. He's got no fucking clue about what to say. If he tells Daniel everything is fine, he's lying. Tell Daniel nothing, and eventually, he'll notice anyway. Sean… doesn't want dad… to tell him. No, it should be Sean telling him. He deserves to hear it from his own brother. But how?

"Sean? Are you ok, bro?" Daniel can see how his brother seems a bit… off today.

"Uh… yeah. Everything's fine, Enano. Just… fine. I'm just… tired, you know?" Well, shit. He just lied.

"Ok, Sean." Daniel seems to believe him. He then continues to, with an energetic and joyful tone, tells Sean everything about his sleepover. Usually, Sean would always listen. Not because it's that interesting, but because it makes his brother happy. It always makes him so happy when Sean listens to him, asks questions, and just… cares about him. Just thinking about what's to come is too much. He can't be in the same room as Daniel right now. He needs to be alone. Now.

"… so then, we played some Minecraft, and Noah's mom got us pizza and-"

"Daniel, I- I can't listen… anymore…" He feels like shit, interrupting his brother like this.

"Oh… well, do you want to play some video games instead?" Daniel's still all smiles. Sean hates what all this shit's going to do o him. He's losing it.

"What the fuck, Daniel? No! I- I need to be alone. Sorry." Sean can see Daniel's wide smile disappearing, how his brother turns his eyes downwards to the floor like he always did when he was sad. It's the last thing Sean saw before locking himself in his room like he planned to do from the very beginning.

He didn't know how long it's been, he didn't care. He didn't know where his father, brother, or friends was, he didn't care. Nothing mattered now. Absolutely nothing. Sean lied in his bed, in complete darkness, crying. Loud, painful sobs. Any other day, he would never cry, when Daniel could hear it or see it. The kid needed a strong role model for when… he grew up. Shit.

Sean almost freaks out, when he hears a silent, yet firm, knock on his door.

"Sean… can you- can you open the door? Please? Dad went out, and he hasn't come back yet, and… you're… you're scaring me, Sean." Sometimes, Daniel would act like he was ten years older than he actually was. Part of Sean was proud of him for it, the larger part of Sean, cursed him for it. Because of this, he ignored his brother. If he avoids him, for as long as possible, then, maybe, he doesn't have to tell him…?

"Ok, Sean. If you don't open this door, or at least, give me a sign that you're alright, then… I'm gonna have to use the key!" Sean always had a habit of locking himself in his room when he was angry. A few years ago, he had broken his leg. He hated everything, he was in pain, and therefore, had a very short fuse. Daniel had, accidentally, spilled soda in Sean's backpack. He didn't care about the backpack, what Sean did care about, was his old sketchbook. The one he's had since he was ten. It was completely ruined. Daniel was sorry, he cried, so much. But Sean didn't care. He was too pissed. He told his brother to fuck off, then locked himself in his room.

Immediately upon entering, and locking his room, the hormone-fueled, all pissed-off Sean, stumbles on a book, that just lied on the floor. He screamed in pain, and could not, in any way, move. At all. Anywhere. Esteban wasn't home, so it was a very scary experience for Daniel. Ultimately, he climbed in through Sean's window and helped his brother get up. Daniel was seven years old back then. After this, Esteban had two extra keys made. One to Sean's room, one to Daniel's. When he made it clear that it was to be used for emergency's only, even Daniel realized how serious it was. He never even joked about it. Hell, Sean had even forgotten about it. Fuck. The kid's getting in either way. He knows that the right thing to do here is to get his sorry ass up and open the door. But he doesn't. He can't. He just… can't. Daniel's got him cornered now, no escape.

Sean hears a key in the lock, followed by a clicking sound and the door opening, then… silence. His brother's inside the room, Sean knows that much. He can hear Daniel's shaky breathing, the poor kid must be a wreck right now. He keeps his eyes closed, that way, he can wait a little longer. Sean's forced to open his eyes when he feels a small hand on his forehead.

"Sean… is something wrong? What- what's happening? I- I heard you… crying. You don't… cry. Are- are you… ok?" God-damn it. God fucking damn it. Daniel's really trying to help him here, he wants to be there for Sean, the same way Sean is there for Daniel. But he can't escape it anymore. His brother deserves the truth. No matter how painful it's going to be. Sean sits up, getting used to the lights his brother turned on. He takes a deep breath.

"Daniel… we- we need to talk. Why don't you sit down, Enano?" Sean tries his best to give Daniel a smile but failed so miserably, even Daniel understands something is wrong now.

"Sean…?" There's that voice. The voice of "sad" Daniel. The voice that Sean, in a way, enjoyed speaking to, because his brother always left the conversation as "happy" Daniel. This one would be the exception. He puts an arm around his brother.

"When I was over at Lyla's, something happened… I… uh… I passed out. I had to go to the hospital." Daniel's listening closely, clearly understanding that there's more to it than that. Sean continues.

"They… did some tests and shit… and…" He just stops. He can't do this. If he tells Daniel this, it will break him, ruin his innocence, destroy his childhood.

"It's fine, Sean. Go on, I- I can take it." No, Enano. No, you can't. Sean's voice is trembling, his hands are shaking, and he's sweating like crazy.

"The tests show that- that… I'm dying, Daniel." As soon as the words have left his mouth, Sean wraps his arms around his brother, preparing for the outburst that's about to come. Thing is, nothing happens. Sean's entire face is, once again, covered in tears as he hugs his brother. Meanwhile, Daniel is silent. Completely fucking silent. Sean decides to ask, maybe- maybe he didn't… understand? He is nine years old, after all.

"Hey, Enano? Are- are you… I- I mean, did you… understand everything I said." Thank fuck, Sean! You managed to stop yourself from asking if the kid's alright. That would be the dumbest question to ask right now. Daniel slowly turns his head towards him, looking him right in his eyes. There are no tears. Not a single one. Daniel's facial expression is completely blank. Almost like his brother's face is just a template for… whatever-the-fuck. No happiness, no sadness, no anger, no- no emotions whatsoever. Nothing. Sean had prepared for the worst of the worst, but never even considered this to be an option. He doesn't know what to do.

"Daniel…? Talk to me, Enano? Please…?" Daniel takes Sean's hand, slowly lifting it from his own shoulder, and then places it carefully on the bed. Then, Daniel simply gets up, exits Sean's room, and locks himself inside his own room. Sean's left stunned, both of shock and fear. What the actual fuck just happened? Did his brother not understand what Sean told him? Was Daniel so shocked, so sad, he couldn't even cry? Or, maybe- maybe he did understand, but he just doesn't give a shit? Maybe Sean was wrong about his brother, all these years? Sean just told him he's fucking dying, and the kid just walks away.

"You ungrateful little shit. You don't understand, just how- how shitty I feel now. I really need someone to support me right now. Especially my brother. But no. No…" Sean lies back down, muttering curses to himself. He thought the truth would hurt Daniel. But instead, he just felt even more hurt himself. As Sean fell into a troublesome sleep, all he could think was "Fuck this. Fuck life, and fuck you, Daniel."

The next morning…

When Sean got out of bed, it was almost lunchtime. He felt like there was no point in getting up. In the end, he's defeated by his hunger, and the smell of… bacon? He walks out to the kitchen, expecting to see his father there. Instead, he saw Daniel. His nine-year-old kid brother was frying bacon, and judging by the smell, doing it pretty damn good too. Shit. Sean's not prepared to meet his brother yet. He stops, wondering if he should quietly walk away. But it's too late.

"Oh, morning, Sean. Why don't you sit down? I made you breakfast." Daniel says, with the widest smile on his face. Does he not remember? Right now, Sean does as told.

"Uh, sure. Thanks, Daniel." Sean eats his breakfast. He had to give Daniel credit on this one. Why the hell didn't the kid tell him he could cook? He's the only one in the family who's good at it. But Sean would never tell that to his father. Daniel has been watching him, the entire time, with the same smile on his face. It's… kind of creepy if Sean's being honest.

"Hey, Enano? Are you ok after, you know… yesterday?" Sean tries to approach with caution, he knows his brother must be a ticking time bomb. Daniel doesn't move a muscle. He's still smiling like never before.

"Oh, you mean that? It's nothing, Sean. Don't worry about me. I'll be fine." Sean isn't so sure of that.

"Are you sure, Daniel? I- I mean, what I told you, it's a lot to take in. for… anyone. It's ok if… you want to talk about it?" He tries, he really tries. But it's like speaking to a brick wall.

"I told you, Sean, I'm fine. You shouldn't worry about me. You have more important things to focus on, big brother. Like getting better." Oh, shit… as soon as Daniel said that last part, Sean put the pieces together. Daniel's silence after being told, him ignoring Sean, only to be super nice to him the next day, like nothing ever happened. It made sense, sad as it was. For Daniel, hearing that his brother's dying was such a huge shock, his young brain couldn't accept it. He simply refused to accept it. He couldn't accept it. It was too painful for him. Instead, he was now in massive denial about his older brother's condition.

"Daniel. I want you to listen to me now… I- I can't get better, Enano. It's… just going to get worse. I know you want to have hope, I do too. But you have to accept that… I'm not gonna be around much longer… Enano." He has to try, he has to get through, to his brother. Somehow. Daniel's smile disappeared.

"Don't ever say that again, Sean. Ever. I mean it." What the fuck is he going to do?

"Enano, why did you make me breakfast today? I swear, I've never seen you cook… anything. So, why did you decide to fry bacon, and make coffee for me?" Sean already knows why, but he needs to hear it.

"Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, Sean. If you're going to get well, you need a good breakfast." Daniel looked almost insulted when Sean questioned what was clearly, facts.

"Daniel, please! I need you to understand this. I'm not going to get better. I'm going to die, Daniel! Die!" Shit, he didn't mean to raise his voice. This was it, now the time bomb would go off.

"No you won't, Sean. I'll help you beat this. Remember what you told me? There's nothing we can't do, as long as we're together? Remember? We will beat this, Sean." Daniel said it with so much certainty and confidence, Sean almost believed it himself. If only for a second. He needs some air.

"I… I'm gonna go get some air, Enano." Sean starts to walk outside. He really needs a smoke right now.

"Ok, Sean. Just, don't bother looking for your cigarettes, I threw them away. Smoking is bad for you. I did the same with your pot." Great. Just… fucking great. Sean's sitting outside, thinking, about what he's going to do. Then, from absolutely nowhere, comes a massive pain, starting at the back of his head, spreading itself down his spine. Sean has felt pain before, who hasn't? But he's never felt anything like this.

Regular pain comes and goes. It hurts like hell, gets a little better, only to hurt like hell once more, rinse and repeat. This was no regular pain. At no point, did the pain ease off a bit, making things easier. It was an even level of pain. Constant pain. A pain that, could not be compared to anything he's ever experienced before in his life. It scared him. He tries to move, but he can't. That's when he realized that he's completely numb below his knees. He can't feel his legs or his feet. Fuck.

FUCK!

Three months later…

Everything was shit now. Just… everything. The day it happened, Sean had been outside, alone, fucking paralyzed, with unimaginable pain, for over forty-five minutes. Daniel had eventually come out, seen Sean, called for dad, who called an ambulance. Sean's now confined to a wheelchair, unable to walk. As in, physically unable to walk anywhere, ever again.

When he finally got home, he had cried. A lot. He had to have a hospital bed in his own bedroom, to pull himself up. He hated seeing his own room turning into a fucking hospital. Hated it. All of his friends, people he's been hanging out with for his entire life, all said they would visit him. They all promised. Nobody did. Fuck them all. Only Lyla showed up, but eventually, she stopped coming as well. Fuck her too.

The only person that never quit on Sean, was Daniel. Esteban always worked, meaning Daniel now had to be the responsible one. Sean hated it. He absolutely, god-damn fucking hated it. It's still summer outside. Daniel should be outside, swimming, playing football, doing anything a kid his age would do. He should not have to take care of his crippled, useless, dying brother. But, Sean couldn't deny the fact that he did need help. Lots of it too.

Sean had his good days and his bad days. On his good days, he felt somewhat normal. No pain anywhere, just a little dizzy, courtesy of his medication. He could get out of bed on his own, and sometimes even draw. However, he was beginning to notice a major decline in the quality of his drawings. Still, it kept him sane.

The bad days, which started as something few and far between, were now a lot and few between. Those days ranged from bad to fucking horrifying. Sean had always had problems with anxiety. Sometimes, it got the better of him. He refused to get out of his bed. Didn't want to eat, drink, or take his medications because they made him feel like shit. Which was true. He could also wake up, screaming in pain, unable to do anything about it. A while ago, Sean began having epileptic seizures too. All of this meant that Daniel, his little brother, his Enano, had to be the one to help Sean. Every single time.

It didn't matter if Sean woke up, screaming in agony, or had a seizure. Daniel was there and knew what to do. He had pretty much been forced to learn how to give his older brother a morphine injection. He had done it dozens of times, by now. Still, he was fucking terrified, every time he had to do it. If Sean had a seizure, he put a pillow under his head, and turned him to his side, making sure he didn't choke on his own tongue. He would always sit with Sean until he woke up. Always. Sometimes, it took hours, but Daniel never left his side. He didn't want Sean to feel alone.

Daniel was unsure of what he really believed in right now. Somewhere, deep inside him, he knows. He knows it's over. He knows that Sean would just be happy, if he took all those morphine injections, and gave them to his brother. Sean would just… fall asleep. No more pain. But Daniel wants to have hope, so badly. He's so young, he can barely comprehend how he's supposed to go on without a brother. It's because of that, because of hope, Daniel is able to do everything he does.

Every morning, he gets up and eats a quick simple breakfast for himself. Then, he makes breakfast for Sean. A breakfast that may, or may not get eaten. He spends his entire day, looking after Sean, saving Sean, or if it's a good day, talking to Sean. Today appears to be one of the better days. Those were fewer and fewer nowadays. He smiles as he enters Sean's room, breakfast in hand.

"Morning, Sean. Here's your breakfast." He gives Sean a big smile. Just like every other day. If he believes, maybe Sean can believe too…? He fought so hard to keep a straight face sometimes. It happened on more than one occasion that, when Esteban was out and Sean's asleep, Daniel would go down to the garage. He would bring a pillow, sit in the furthest corner, and he would scream into the pillow. Scream and cry. He didn't know how much longer he could do this.

"Thanks, Enano." Sean gave up long ago, trying to convince his brother to be a kid.

"Sean…?" Daniel hesitates a bit. There was something about Sean today, something he couldn't quite point out. He thinks for a while.

"Yeah, Daniel? What's up?" When Sean smiles towards him, Daniel sees it. How the fuck did he not see it earlier? For the first time, Daniel actually sees how his brother's appearance has changed. He's skinny, pale as a ghost, freezing, even if it's a hundred degrees in here. His face… shit. He's got a massive black eye, he got a seizure last week, fell out of bed and hit the table, almost hit him right in the eye. That scar on his lip… Sean had fallen and busted his lip on the concrete outside. The missing tooth… same shit. The reality of it all, slowly, very slowly, starts to sink in.

"Daniel? You wanted to say something?" Sean takes him back to the real world. He can only think of one thing to say. It's definitely not what he was going to say. But now, he feels like he must say it. Ask it. He sits down in the bed, face-to-face with Sean.

"You- you're not gonna make it, are you, Sean?" What the fuck? Where the hell did that come from? Sean wasn't expecting this. He gave up on that long ago. Sean does everything in his power, trying to compose himself, trying to be the big brother again.

"No, Daniel. I'm not. I'm sorry, Enano." Now, everything hit Daniel at the same time. The time-bomb, that had been building up for the last three months exploded. Daniel, no longer the responsible one, launched himself into Sean's arms. Screaming, crying, even punching Sean. To see his brother in so much pain was a thousand times worse than anything over the last couple of months. Sean wrapped his arms around Daniel, waiting for him to just… tire himself out.

Eventually, Daniel stops punching him. Instead, he hugs Sean, so tight, Sean's having difficulty breathing. But, he endures it. For now, they just sit there, the only sound being Daniel's sobbing. Sean doesn't know what to say anyway. It's not like he can say that everything's going to be fine.

It must have been over an hour, but Daniel was the one to break the silence.

"I'm so sorry, Sean. I didn't… want to understand. It's too fucking painful. I don't want to lose you, Sean. I love you." Daniel says, still sobbing heavily.

"It's not your fault, Daniel. I don't blame you. At all. I love you too. I want you to promise me, that you will never forget that." When asking Daniel to promise him, Sean sounded much angrier than he meant to. But, if his brother ends up hesitating, or thinking Sean never loved him, he would fucking haunt his dreams. Not nightmares, dreams.

"I promise, Sean. I- I swear, I will never forget that. Ever." Daniel looked him right in his eyes. This was the first time Sean saw the real Daniel, the first time since… before. He could see the bags under his eyes, he probably never slept anything. Poor kid. He can see in his entire face, just how tired Daniel is. No, not tired. He's fucking exhausted. Like he's about to hit rock-bottom. He's lost a ton of weight, and he wasn't exactly fat before either.

"Enano, you look exhausted. Try to sleep a little, ok?" Sean smiles at his younger brother.

"But… I have to help you… with stuff?" He wasn't even trying now. Maybe this, was his rock-bottom.

"I'll… manage, Enano. Just, sleep now. Rest. I know you want to." He had barely finished the sentence before Daniel was out cold. So tired, in so many ways. Sean sighed. He knew what was about to happen, what he was about to do. Did he have any doubts? He used to, but today had been the final straw. It's time.

He opens the drawer next to his bed, taking out a small box with Daniel's name written on it. He opens it, making sure that everything's there. The sketchbook, photographs of them together, all of Karen's stuff, the Puerto Lobos lighter. Everything important Sean wants Daniel to have when the day comes is inside. He takes out a small envelope, also, with Daniel's name written on it. He closes the box, putting it on his bedside table, on top of the envelope. An envelope containing a hand-written note. From Sean to Daniel. Brother-to-brother. He did his best, trying to explain… what he's about to do. But he was never good with words, and he can't fucking draw anymore. Sean can feel the tears starting to flow. He doesn't care enough to wipe them away.

Instead, he opens a box, hidden under his bed. Inside is three morphine injections. Fuck. Is he really going through with this? He looks at Daniel, who's still sleeping. He looks so peaceful. Like a… kid.

"Fuck… I guess… this is it." Sean moves fast, quickly injecting himself with more than enough morphine to… end it. Then, he throws the needles to the far corner of the room. He then, very carefully, leans back towards the wall while grabbing Daniel in his arms.

"I'm so sorry, Daniel. But it's better for you if I'm not around. I love you, little brother, never forget that. You will always be my Enano." Sean has said his final words to his younger brother. He gives Daniel a kiss on his forehead. Then, he leans back, holding on to his brother, and closes his eyes. Within a few minutes, Sean Eduardo Diaz was asleep. He would never wake up.

Notes:

I'm a bit uncertain about how this one turned out. The basic idea was that "Sean's sick, Daniel's taking care of him." Then, the whole denial-idea just came into my head, which in a way feels like a normal reaction. But I might have overdone certain things.

A few things worth mentioning: I know next to nothing about tumors. I just wanted something other than cancer, to avoid it being too similar to the "Little Wolf" chapter. I do realize that those kinds of tumors, probably wouldn't have the kind of side effects I gave to Sean.

More importantly: The pain Sean describes in his head. The one that doesn't even feel like "regular" pain? That's me, describing the pain in my shoulder after I had shoulder surgery.

All the seizure-related stuff? Also, me. The injuries Daniel sees in Sean's face, busted lip, black-eye due to almost blinding himself with the bedside table? Yeah, me.

Anyway, appreciate any comments below. I answer on everything.

Chapter 10: Haunted

Summary:

The wolfbrothers made it to the other side. but at what cost? How many lives were lost in the process? How will Daniel, the one who took all those lives, be affected by it?

Notes:

Ok, just FYI, this is Blood Brothers Daniel going absolutely insane. Depictions of HEAVY BLOOD, GORE, AND VIOLENCE!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

USA/Mexico border, July 4th, 2017.

There was no turning back now. They were surrounded. There was no escape. They both knew it. Daniel turned towards his brother.

"So, how does the story of the wolfbrothers end?" He already knew the answer. It is sure as hell not going to end here.

"They make it to the other side, be careful." Sean said firmly. Daniel saw it, not as a command, not as an order, but as Sean allowing him to do it. Finally. This was long overdue. He simply nods towards his brother and slowly gets out of the car.

As he stands in front of the car, preparing himself, he can't help but giggle. Agent Flores talks to him, through a megaphone. Daniel realizes now, how stupid, how naive, they really are. Does she actually think that I have surrendered? Just the thought of it, makes him want to laugh. But there's no time for that now, he needs to focus. Three heavily armed cops are closing upon him. Guess they're going to be the first to go then. One of the officers raises an automatic rifle at the ten-year-old.

"Get down on the ground, NOW!" Daniel just gives him a smug smile. If only that asshole knew what's about to happen…

"No." Daniel doesn't raise his voice, nor does he sound angry.

"Kid, get the fuck down! Or else-" The police officer was never able to finish that sentence. Actually, Daniel made sure he would never be able to finish another sentence again. Ever. The seemingly defenseless ten-year-old had stretched out his right hand and proceeded to quickly snap the necks of the three officers surrounding him. They were dead before their bodies hit the ground.

Upon seeing this, every single cop in front of him opened fire. All of them. He was prepared for this. Using his powers, he easily created a shield, surrounding both him and Sean. They were blasted with literally everything the police had in their arsenal. Handguns, shotguns, automatic rifles, snipers, someone even threw in a grenade. It didn't do shit. He turned back, looking at Sean, who simply nodded at him. He knew what it meant.

It meant "Do it, Enano."

And boy, did he do it…

Bullets deflected right back at the one shooting. Cars went flying, far into the horizon. On one side, complete chaos. Fully-trained professionals, with years of experience, scared shitless. On the other side, Daniel Diaz, ten years old, in complete control of the situation, and everyone in it. He could feel it. Their fear. He could taste it. Smell it. Almost see it, physically. Daniel felt better than ever. He actually enjoyed it. Payback. It's only fair. Serves them right. Assholes.

He enjoyed catching a shotgun bullet in the air with his powers, only to then, send it right in the face at whoever tried to shoot him. They tried to kill him, and Sean. They had already killed his father. No more. Eventually, there are only two people alive. Agent Flores, along with another police officer. Daniel slowly walks towards them. Flores, that one's personal. He walks right past dozens of bodies, covered in blood, with missing limbs, terrible burns, and other things that a year ago would have terrified him. Now, it doesn't bother him. Not even the slightest.

He walks up to the last surviving officer, looking him right in his eyes. The man has lost his gun, not that it would matter. He's so terrified, his entire body is shaking. The last time Daniel was this close to a police officer, he was the one shaking in fear, he was the defenseless one, and his dad died. The man falls to his knee, surrendering. Hands in the air.

"P- please… I- I surrender. Just… please… have mercy. I- I have a family… a son." Daniel didn't expect this. A cop surrendering, begging for mercy. He does have a family. When Daniel lost his father, he was only nine years old. It wouldn't feel right, causing another kid the same pain he had to go through. Daniel gives the now crying man, a smug look.

"Run." One word, that's all he says, and the man sets off running. If one could call that running. He was old, and kind of fat. Was.

When the man has been running for about thirty seconds, Daniel stretches out both his hands, causing him to fall. As the man tries to get up, Daniel uses his powers to rip off his legs. The man screamed in pain, terrible screams, beyond this world. Daniel walks up to him.

"You knew the risks with the job, dumbass. Don't beg for mercy, when you're not prepared to show it yourself. You don't get to pull the I-have-a-family bullshit. I had a family once. Thanks to people like you, it will never be complete again." Daniel's voice is completely calm the entire time.

"W- w- what- t- the- f- fuck are you talking a- about?" The man is in a state of shock, due to pain and loss of blood. He can barely talk.

"You know what I'm talking about. I know you do. That's why I'm leaving you here now. To die." Daniel doesn't wait for a response, but simply turns around, and walks away. Towards Agent Flores.

Agent Flores just stood there, frozen. Her gun was out of bullets, her radio's fried. No weapon, no way to call for backup. She was all alone. Is this the way she would go? Killed by a ten-year-old boy, with superpowers? She doesn't know what to do. She's not trained for this. Sure, during her time at the bureau she had heard of many cases with supernatural involvement. But never something like this. Not even close.

"Daniel… please… calm down. I- I can still help you. Both of you. It's not too late-" Granted, nothing that came out of her mouth would have ever changed Daniel's mind. But that? That was a poor choice of words.

"Help us?! Do you mean like you helped Sean when you arrested him for shit he didn't even do? Like you helped me when I was stuck in a fucking cult in Haven Point?! That kind of help? Is that it, huh? Sean said you were dumb, but I didn't think you'll be this stupid. Why would we ever trust you? You- you took our dad from us!" Daniel can feel the tears, but he's holding them back. Not now. Not fucking now.

"I'm sorry, Daniel. But we had to arrest your brother. He was wanted and was in dire need of medical care. I- I understand if the two of you are having… difficulties, trusting… me. But I want to help." Daniel stops, actually considering his options for a moment.

"What- what would you want… from us?" He asks, carefully. It's worth a shot.

"I would need a complete statement, from both of you, covering everything that happened during your… journey. The incident in Seattle, Beaver Creek, the farm in Humboldt, everything. Then, I can truly help you." Ok, the kid's taking the bait. As soon as she gets the chance, Flores will grab a gun, and blow his brains out. He's far too dangerous to be kept alive.

"I can tell you what happened in Humboldt." Daniel says, both voice and body language full of confidence.

"That's good, Daniel. Very good. Now, we just need to get back to the station and-"

"I can actually show you what happened in Humboldt. Right now." There's that smug look on his face again. Flores did not like it one bit. Daniel stretches out his right arm, lifting Flores in the air. It feels like an enormous amount of weight, pressed against every part of her body, inside and out. It's a whole other world of pain. She wants to scream, but she can't. It's impossible to move a single muscle. She can't even move her own eyes.

"Sean lost his eye in Humboldt. But you already knew that, did you?" Daniel knew exactly what to do. He was just toying with her now.

"What you don't know, is that I was shot as well. In my right shoulder. It really hurts to get shot, did you know that?" Flores still can't move a muscle. Daniel takes a bullet from the ground and uses his powers to force it through Agent Flores's right shoulder at the speed of light. Tears are starting to pour from her eyes, the pain is unimaginable. But Daniel won't let her go. He's not finished yet.

"You know what Sean says is the worst thing about having one eye, agent? It's not how you look. It's that you have no depth perception. You have to learn a lot of things all over again, which is… hard. But… I'm just gonna let you see for yourself." Daniel's face goes from smug to vicious, as he tears out the left eye of Agent Flores.

"This is for you, Sean." Then, he proceeds to symbolically handcuff Flores to a part of the border wall, using the same handcuffs Sean had, only moments ago. He leaves her there, in her pain and misery. Screaming, crying out for help that won't come. She'll live, he knows it. But she can live, knowing that she's only experienced a small amount of what Daniel and his brother had to endure every day over the last year. But now, it's over. He breaks the gate open with ridiculous ease and walks back to the car. It's really fucking over. He smiles, as tears began pouring down his face. For once, actually tears of joy, not sadness.

"We can go now." He struggles to keep his voice steady, as he gets inside the car.

"Great job, Enano. Let's go home." Sean smiled towards him. Daniel could see that he truly meant what he said., that he really did a great job. Sean slowly begins to drive towards the border, Daniel turns his head, looking at the chaos he just created. It felt… good to get… revenge, get even. It really did. He would do it again if he got the chance. Sean and he over the past year had both been through a lot. Both of them, far too young to ever understand how big of an influence the last year would have on the rest of their lives. In more ways than one.

Still, it felt good for Daniel to vent his frustration, his anger, hate, at something. Then, there's that other part of him. The part of him that began showing up less and less, after Beaver Creek. A part of him he so rarely acknowledges, that he sometimes believes that it's dead. Who knows, maybe it is. That part is the remains of nine-year-old Daniel Felipe Diaz. The young boy living in Seattle, with his father, and had a brother with two eyes. A kid that could eat enormous amounts of Chock-O-Crisps, yet still complain if someone else ate the last one. A kid that liked laser tag, Minecraft, and hanging out with Sean.

It's a part, buried deeply in the back of his head. It rarely makes itself known, there's just no reason for it. There was now. At the very moment, they crossed the border, and Sean howled in victory, Daniel feels an invisible punch in the gut.

Guilt.

Remorse.

What did he do?

What the actual fuck, did he just do?

He does his best to ignore it. Ignore the thoughts that are starting to become more and more. He doesn't want to ruin the moment. Sean's so happy, so fucking happy. He hasn't seen him like this since… he's not sure if he's ever seen him like this. Besides, the idea that he should have remorse, or feel guilt. That's from the other Daniel. Seattle Daniel. Kid-Daniel. He's not a kid anymore.

"Damn right I'm not." He mumbles to himself.

A couple of months later…

It had been a few months now. Long, difficult months, since the wolfbrothers arrival in Puerto Lobos. Finding their father's house was no problem. It was completely trashed, had no power, running water, no anything. They knew this to be the most realistic option. Sean had taken a couple of odd jobs around town. The money was shit, but enough to keep food on the table, and buy everything necessary to fix up the house.

The first few weeks had been pretty relaxing. For both brothers. Sean could relax, knowing he didn't have to protect Daniel anymore. The kid could look after himself. Daniel could relax, just knowing the fact that he's home. He's home and won't be leaving anytime soon. Sean and Daniel spent their time, either lying on the beach, swimming in the ocean, or sometimes, doing absolutely nothing. Simply because now, that was a real option. They also talked a lot. About dad, Karen, Haven Point, Humboldt, about everything. Everything, except the border. Neither of them brought it up. Sean didn't, because he didn't see anything worth talking about. Daniel didn't, because… he had become uncertain if he did the right thing or not.

It took about six months, then came the day when Sean and Daniel could stand in the living room of their father's house, and say that it was finished. It felt great, to finally have it done. The problem was, with no house project, and Sean working most of the days, Daniel had a lot of spare time. On his own. It didn't take long before his mind fell back to that day at the border. He still couldn't understand why he thought about it so much. He didn't do anything wrong. Did he?

Then, Daniel turned eleven. His second birthday since his father died, but at least Sean was there with him now. He wasn't very happy. He didn't know why, it's just the way it was. Then came July 4th, 2018. One year to the day, since they came to Puerto Lobos free. One year ago since he… did that.

Both Sean and Daniel had expected it to be a day of celebration. Not a celebration of America's Independence Day, but of their own. A celebration of the day they became free. It did not turn out that way.

"Daniel, Hijo? Wake up!" Daniel was asleep, Sean right next to him. He was awakened by a familiar voice. He hasn't heard it in years, but he's right. Daniel knows it. Esteban Diaz, his father, dead father, woke him up. Daniel gets out of bed and walks downstairs. His father's standing in the kitchen back turned against him. Daniel knows it's him though.

"D- dad? Is- is that… really you?" Daniel's already crying. Is this a dream? No, it can't be. He literally just woke up. That, and… it just feels… so real. He can feel his body shaking, feel his feet on the wooden floor, hear the ocean outside. No, this- this is real. It must be. But dad- dad is dead.

"I am so disappointed in you, Daniel. How could you? What were you thinking?" His father still has his back towards him, something he, according to Sean, only did when he was either very angry or very hurt.

"I- I'm sorry, dad. I know I fu- I mean, messed up. I shouldn't have gone outside that day. It's my fault Sean got into that fight with Brett. Because of me, that cop…" Daniel can't say the rest. He's too ashamed. He just stares down on the floor. His father now turns around. Esteban Diaz looks exactly like Daniel remembers him, except his beard is gray, his hair's a lot thinner, but it's still his dad. Daniel wanted to throw himself in his father's arms, ignoring the shit out of what he just heard and said. However, something is holding him back. Esteban's face has the look of a person who's been emotionally hurt, over and over again, until it became too much, and the person broke inside. His father looks completely broken.

"Do you think that's what I'm here about, Daniel? Do you think I'm here to talk about some fake blood, or Sean actually standing up for you, for once?" His father's voice was calm but filled with disapproval.

"Dad, I- I don't understand… you're… dead? Is this- is this a dream?" He had to ask. He could not be any more confused than he already was anyway.

"Of course it's a dream, Hijo. But that doesn't mean it's not real." Esteban gave his son one of those looks, those looks he used specifically when he wanted to make a point. Daniel was now, officially, a shit ton more confused.

"I tried to raise you, both of you, to be respectful to people around you. Now, just three days after I'm out of the picture, what happened? You escape a crime scene, run from the police, you get yourself poisoned, even though a tried to teach you both about surviving in the wild. Then, you distract a shopkeeper, so Sean can steal, he had it coming when the old man knocked him out. He really did." His fathers got a look that just screams disappointment, hurt, and failure. But, his voice is still even and calm.

"N- no, please… we- we had to-" A crying Daniel interrupts Esteban, only for his father to return the favor.

"Don't interrupt me, Daniel. I'm not finished talking. After you, a nine-year-old boy, broke your brother free, you vandalized the entire store, while Sean stole camping gear and beat up a defenseless old man. Last, but not least, you stole a dog. A dog you couldn't even take care of." Daniel's bawling his eyes out now. Why is his father doing this to him? Why?

"N- no… stop…" He makes a weak attempt.

"But that's not even the worst part, my son. Unfortunately, it's very far from it." Esteban's tone changed, from sad, to something more serious. Very serious.

"What you did on the border, one year ago, Daniel. That is not what I raised you, or Sean to do. I know you both believe that you did what was necessary. But at what cost, Daniel? At what cost? How many people died in the incident that caused you to run in the first place? Myself and Officer Matthews. Two people. Answer me, Daniel, how many died that day at the border? Ten? Twenty? Fifty? A hundred? Those people had families too. Kids. Kids like you. Not only that but you- you- you enjoyed it. You enjoyed it, Daniel. What happened to you?" His father could not look him in the eyes. Esteban turned his back towards him, crying quietly. Daniel walks towards him, reaching out with his arms to hug his father. The moment his fingers touch his father's shirt, he turns to him. Screaming.

"You are NOT my son, do you hear me? You're a murderer. A monster. But not my son. Not after that."

"DAD!" Daniel woke up in his bed, screaming in fear, covered in sweat and tears. He also scared the shit out of Sean, sleeping right next to him.

"What the fu- Daniel? What's wrong, Enano?" Sean tried asking him. He could always get Daniel to tell him the deepest and darkest secrets, like everything he went through in Haven Point. This time, Daniel didn't say a word. Literally. Sean comforted him until he fell asleep, and then, Sean believed everything would be back to normal in the morning.

It wasn't.

In the months that followed, Daniel Diaz rarely spoke a word. At all. He had now begun to realize, just how wrong he was, and how it's affecting him. Because it is affecting him. A lot. Not a single night goes by, without him waking up, at least twice, screaming in fear. His own past constantly haunts him at night, with visions of himself ripping Sean's eye out, or choking Chris, and other horrors he can never get out of his head.

He's a walking train-wreck of guilt and regret, that rarely leaves the house unless he absolutely needs to. Daniel doesn't even go down to the beach anymore. He just sits in his room, thinking, staring into the wall. The worst part for him, it wasn't the nightmares, it wasn't the guilt or the regret, the worst part was Sean. No matter what had happened over the years, Sean was always the one Daniel could talk to because he understood Daniel. Not this time. The one fucking time he really needed someone to talk to, Sean didn't get it.

Sean didn't understand why he was plagued by nightmares where he's ripping people's eyes out, which just happened to start a year after the border incident. The reason he doesn't understand is simple, Sean believes that Daniel did the right thing. Daniel believed the same, at the time. However, all the screaming voices that haunted him at night… yeah, that made him change his mind long ago.

The thing is, Sean cares. He cares a lot. He just doesn't know how to deal with everything. How do you deal with a PTSD kid, when you're most likely a PTSD kid yourself? Sean's done a lot of thinking, meaning worrying. He needs to talk to his brother. He needs to find out what's causing all this. Now. He walks to Daniel's room, knocking. No answer. He walks in.

Hey, Daniel. How- how are you today?" Fuck's sake, Sean? Why ask him that? It's obvious to anyone, he feels like shit. The curtain's pulled down, lights turned off, it smells… horrible, and he still hasn't eaten the sandwich Sean brought him this morning. Daniel doesn't even acknowledge the fact that his brother has entered the room.

"I- I was wondering if we could… talk a little? If- if that's ok with you?" He got his brother's attention now.

"What's the point? You don't get in, Sean?" Daniel's voice is low and very sad, he looks down while talking.

"Well, then maybe… maybe you could help me understand, Enano?" There has to be a way to reach him. Has to.

"No, you can't understand." Tears now visible in Daniel's face, still pointed towards the floor.

"Come on, man. I'm really trying here… I- I don't know what to do! Why can't I understand, Daniel?" Sean's getting a bit desperate, resulting in him raising his voice. Daniel looks up, right into his brother's eye.

You really want to know?" He says, voice completely changed. He sounds more firm, confident, more… angry.

"Yes, Daniel. I do. Please, tell me. Tell me, so I can help you." When he saw his younger brother's eyes, it looked like a bomb exploded. To this day, Sean swears that Daniel's eyes became blood-red, from one second to the other. He never said it to anyone though.

"Help me? You can't help me, Sean. No one can. It's too late. Think about it. I killed a police officer, at the age of nine. I cost you an eye. Then, there's Haven Point and all the… stuff… they did to me." Daniel can feel his inner rage building up, he tries to keep it under control. But seeing Sean, sitting there, completely oblivious to what he's getting at. That's the last straw.

"The only reason I'm telling you this is because I have no one else I can fucking talk to. That you didn't figure out why, Sean… why I'm like this… it hurts. It hurts because… it means you're even worse of a person than I am, and I'm a terrible fucking person, Sean. Really, I am. I'm not your sweet little Enano, Sean. I'm a fucking murderer! Not a double-murderer, not a triple-murderer, I'm a fucking mass-murderer, Sean. That's… what I am." He screams at his older brother. He's been wanting to say it for so long.

"Daniel! You are NOT a murderer, Enano." Sean says and smiles. He fucking smiles. Daniel just opened his heart, pouring out his darkest thought, and his brother just smiles? Fuck this!

"You can just go fuck yourself, Sean! I asked you, long ago, if I was a monster. You said no. but I know the truth now. I'm- I'm a monster. Do you know how many people I killed, that day at the border, Sean? Do you, huh?" Daniel's vision's blurred with tears.

"Daniel, I- I don't-" Sean is at a loss of words.

"Forty-seven, Sean! Forty-fucking-seven people, all killed, by me! Killed, slaughtered, tortured, dismembered. Is that, not the actions of a monster, Sean? Or is it your sweet, adorable, fucking Enano?" Daniel's now standing up, looking down at Sean, the latter sitting on the floor.

"I… just… I thought we… did what we had to, you know." Sean stumbles at his words.

"It haunts me, Sean. All the time. Every hour of every day, every night. I have nightmares where I see myself… hurting you, or… dad, in… horrible ways. I hear people screaming every night, Sean. Every fucking night. I- I can't take it anymore. I fucked up, Sean. You fucked up. We both fucked up. We… should have surrendered instead." Daniel collapses on the floor, burying his face in his palms, sobbing.

Sean is silent for a long time, deep in thought. His brother had a point. He just never thought about it that way. Sean never had to kill anyone, of course, he's not traumatized by it. Daniel, on the other hand, seems horrified by his own actions. Looking back at things, Sean hasn't really been a saint either. He beat the shit out of Hank Stamper on that gas station, then robbed him. He also agreed to Finn's heist. Could Sean have been a poor influence on his brother, without even realizing it? It's possible.

What then, would the long-term effect be of Sean giving Daniel the go-ahead to massacre all the border cops? Those thoughts scared him. Sean may have made some mistakes. A lot of mistakes. But he didn't believe that killing people was ok. He simply believed that it was ok to do whatever you had to, in order to survive. He moves closer to his brother, the latter immediately falling into his arms.

"We'll get through this, Daniel. You'll get through this, you hear me? You're strong, you can beat this." Then, he was quiet again. Listening to Daniel crying, so badly, Sean's shirt got soaked.

"I know… we've made some… bad things, Daniel. But it's never too late to change. I have made a lot of… bad shit too. A lot that I regret. We can… help each other. Get better, you know? We're brothers, we'll always be there for one another." Sean means it. He's done a lot of bad shit that he regrets. But he can't get better on his own.

"Yeah… I- I think I'll like that, Sean. Thanks." Daniel looks at Sean, feeling a little hope. Something he hasn't in a long time. Maybe… things will work out? At least, in time.

Six years after the border incident…

Daniel was sixteen now, he's been living as a fugitive in Mexico for six years. Did things get better? Sort of. Sean and Daniel had talked together, setting a few ground rules, some being pretty straightforward, like no stealing. Others, being more personal. Sean's most important rule was that every day, for at least one hour, the two of them would sit down and talk. Just talk. At first, he had to draw the words out from his little brother. Daniel had just stared at the clock, counting down the seconds. Eventually, the kid began to open up a little, they could have somewhat regular conversations. Whenever Sean saw an opportunity, he would ask how Daniel was feeling, if he had any nightmares, anything like that.

It took months before Daniel dared to describe his nightly horrors to his brother. When he did, Sean had held him, crying, begging for his forgiveness. Something Daniel was happy to give him. Their daily therapy sessions did a lot to make him feel better. Eventually, the nightmares became fewer and further in between. Then, they disappeared completely. Forever. Finally.

Life wasn't all perfect. It had become obvious to Daniel that his brother loved Puerto Lobos. Sean felt more home here than in Seattle, by the looks of it. But Daniel, he always felt… out of place. Like he just… didn't belong here. His Spanish was piss-poor, at best, meaning he couldn't make any friends in the area. He hasn't been in school since he was nine years old. Sean, his brother, he's got a future here. But what kind of future exists for Daniel in Puerto Lobos? He doesn't have an education, he doesn't speak the language, and, unlike his brother, he's not a Mexican citizen.

He often dwells on these things. When Sean's in the garage, working. They managed to start their own garage, last year. Sean, being the mechanic, and Daniel, doing all the paperwork, meaning just signing his name on shit. It's all he can do. Sometimes, he locks himself in his room, taking out an old box, hidden under his bed.

Inside it is many things, most of them worthless junk to others. To Daniel, they're invaluable relics. These days, he only uses his powers if necessary, and never to kill, only defend. But for these, he would kill. The box contains various artifacts collected by both Sean and Daniel throughout their year on the road. An old USB drive, containing a few pictures of their father, and Lyla. The keys to their home in Seattle. A blanket from the house. A shit-load of pine cones Daniel collected, for reasons unknown. That raccoon sweater Daniel loved, and their homemade dice game, and many other things.

Daniel knows he's desperately clinging on to the past, but also feels like he's got no choice since he has no future. At all. Sean's long given up, trying to talk to him about it. But Daniel knows that Sean's aware of him feeling out of place. A pat on the shoulder here, a special dinner there, a few Chock-O-Crisps sporadically. He's trying to cheer his brother up. But it's pointless. On an average day, Daniel's got no problem with that. But what happens in ten years? All of his dreams, his aspirations, everything. Gone. Like those cops at the border, shredded and wiped out. What will he do with his life?

He doesn't know.

And it scares him.

It really fucking scares him.

Notes:

Well then, this one was... different compared to the others. The idea at first was just "Daniel after Blood Brothers", because he's clearly not happy in that ending. When I began writing, I started at the border. I've always felt that BB Daniel must have been extremely traumatized by what he did. So I wanted to really give some nightmare-fuel to that, which resulted in my depiction of the border massacre.

Chapter 11: Ground Zero

Summary:

Sean and Daniel are no longer suspects. They're free. It's time to go back... home.

Notes:

An alternative ending where they surrendered at the border but Sean's set free. Basically, nobody suspects them for anything anymore.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

October 28th, 2017 – one year after the incident…

One year to the day had passed since his father was shot dead. Now, he's on his way back. To ground zero, where it all began. Sean Diaz, along with his younger brother Daniel, is coming… home.

The wolfbrothers surrendered at the border, Sean knew it was the right thing to do. He would be in prison for the rest of his life, Daniel would be free, but it was the right thing to do. Three months later, he's free. Cleared of all charges, and left with a large sum of insurance money in his bank account. Being wrongfully accused paid off quite well, at least from an economical point of view.

Now, they're standing on the road, just outside their old home. It felt… weird. Like a completely different life, lived by two completely different brothers. Maybe that was the case? Daniel slowly grabs his older brother's hand, pointing towards something.

"Sean…? Is- is that where it-" Daniel pointed towards the spot where dad had died.

"Yes, Daniel. It… is." Sean squeezes his brother's hand tight, trying to avoid those memories. Trying to avoid remembering the look in dad's dead eyes.

"Sean… it's- it's ok. You're doing… good. Just… don't look at it. Come on." Daniel's really grown up over the past year. He manages to calm Sean down, and they move towards the house. Both of them, trying to ignore the permanent damages caused by Daniel's powers. Across the entire yard, every single plant, tree, flower, even all the grass… dead. Except on one small spot. The exact spot Daniel lied at before his powers activated, has a patch of bright, green grass under it.

"Are we ready for this, Daniel?" Sean stutters as he takes out his keys, unlocking the door. Daniel sighs.

"… No, but let's do it. Let's go home, Sean." Both of them, placing a hand on the doorknob and opening. At first, both of them just stood there, neither brother daring to step inside. Eventually, Sean took the first step inside the house. Immediately, a massive wave hit him. Memories, emotions, words, arguments, even… smells. He never even realized how his home smelled in a specific kind of way.

"We're back, Enano…" A silent whisper, followed by Daniel's footsteps as he steps inside.

"Hi, dad… we're home now." Sean turned to his brother, fully expecting him to cry. But Daniel didn't cry. Daniel smiled. A smile full of nostalgic memories. Sean walks around slowly in the kitchen area, taking it all in. Everything's just the way they left it. The glass jar labeled "Drug money" that Sean stole from. He felt bad at the time, but in the long run, it became a lifesaver. The recipe for dad's top-secret pasta, still on the fridge. Halloween candy in the cabinet with a note "DO NOT TOUCH!" Nothing had changed, except for a year worth of dust.

"Do you… wanna check out dad's room, Daniel?" Sean's uncertain if he wants to. He's not sure that he's ready yet.

"No, Sean. Not yet. Let's just… check out our own rooms… for now." Fair enough. The brothers go separate ways, Daniel turns left, and Sean turns right. Both of them, entering their respective room, closing the door behind them.

"… wow," Daniel whispers silently to himself. He used to think that this room was so… small, the bed always felt uncomfortable, and it felt so… colorless. So bland. Another common feeling was that he always believed that he had so few toys. Now, one year later, ten years old, lots have changed. He's a lot more mature now, especially for someone his age. Spending an entire year sleeping under bridges, in a tent, or on the ground has given him perspective. Daniel knows how good his life back here truly was.

"… You didn't know how great your life was, but you couldn't. You were… just a kid… just a kid." A silent whisper, for reasons he can't be sure of. Daniel looks around his old room, his old, colorless, toy-less, small room. His room is easily the largest in the entire house, the walls have a vibrant blue color, and across the floor lies… SO. MANY. TOYS. But he pays no attention to any of it. Instead, Daniel sees something on his desk. Something… familiar.

"What are you-" Daniel whispered as he moved closer, only to stop speaking abruptly. On his desk, lies a mask. A Halloween mask. He made two identical ones on that fateful day. One for himself, which is rotting in the forest somewhere. Another, for Sean. He was young and naive at the time. Daniel knew Sean had plans, but still made a mask for him. Daniel hoped that maybe Sean could trick-or-treat with him anyway? Or at least, act as a nice brother and take some pictures of "the zombie-brothers".

That was Daniel's plan when it all went down. Show his costume to Sean, take his impressed big brother back to his room, and give him… this. Obviously, that never happened. Instead, the mask lies on Daniel's desk, mocking him. Reminding him of how he messed everything up. Daniel takes it in his hands, his hands are shaking, and his breathing increases rapidly.

"… No." Daniel drops it on the floor. A couple of tears run down his face. He looks around on the floor and picks up a stuffed animal. Bobby The Yeti. Daniel always loved this toy. He got it from Sean. Although, he suspected it to be bought for someone else at the time since it was just so… random. But he always liked that about his brother. How he could be nice, from out of nowhere, in the most random type of ways. Daniel lies down in his old bed, hugging his stuffed animal, crying silently…

For Sean, it was the other way around. Back in the day, he felt like a king in here. A room of his own, where nobody would disturb him without asking permission. Well, on paper at least. Only now, does he realize how fucking small his room is, or… was. But, just like everything else in the house… it's untouched. The chair lies down on the floor, due to him tipping it over as he ran outside. His old skateboard still lies on the shelf, and there's still that old yellow post-it reading "8008".

"… dude… what the fuck happened to you?" A question, not easily answered. He looks around, through every drawer, every wardrobe, but… nothing here feels like… him. Like Sean. His old laptop is still plugged in. Sean knows what he might see, but he has to… he presses the button.

Facing him is a Skype window and an error message. Sean doesn't bother to read it, instead, he shuts down Skype faster than holy-hell. He's still logged on to his Facebook account. Curiosity gets the better of him as he takes a look.

"387 new friend requests" Ok, that one… he did not expect.

"4264 unread messages" Yeah, seems about right…

"12937 unread notifications" Well… that escalated quickly. Sean begins to scroll through his Facebook feed, reading a few of the posts.

"DIE!"

"Go back to Mexico!" Ok, how can he go back there, if he's never even been there, to begin with?

"You and your brother deserve death…!" Enough! Five minutes later, Sean Diaz no longer has a Facebook account. Then, Sean comes up with an idea. Since his computer seems to be working fine, his hard-drive should still have all the-

He heard a sound. Coming from Daniel's room. For a brief moment, he's taken back in time. To when he sat in this very chair and heard his brother. Then, it was outside. Now, it's inside. His brother's crying. Sean gets up and carefully knocks on the door to Daniel's room.

"Daniel? I can hear you, Enano. Can I… come in?" At least he didn't ask him if he was alright. Progress has been made.

"Ye- yeah, Sean," Daniel answers between obvious tears. Sean enters the room. His younger brother lies in his bed, hugging a stuffed animal, crying.

"You wanna talk about it, buddy?" Sean sits down on the bed, placing a hand on Daniel's shoulder.

"I- I miss him, Sean. I miss dad." Sean can still hear the pain in his voice, no matter how much he's grown.

"Yeah… I do too." Sean lets his mind drift away for a second. Thinking about… happier times. Then, he remembers the idea he had…

"Come on, Enano. I want to show you something." Daniel's not moving.

"Why…?" A sad reply, from his sad little brother.

"Just… trust me, Daniel. Now, come on." Sean symbolically gives Daniel his hand, which the latter takes after some consideration. They walk back into Sean's room, to the computer. Daniel freezes for a moment.

"I- I haven't been here… since-"

"I know, man. It's ok." Sean doesn't want his brother to worry more than he already does.

"So… what did you want to show me, Sean?" Daniel tries to focus on something different.

"Just… sit down on the bed now. I just need a minute." Daniel looks puzzled but does as told. Sean digs through his old computer, adding tons of folders for a slideshow. Then, he turns the laptop towards the bed, presses play, and joins his brother.

"Watch, Daniel…" Sean points at the screen. However, Sean's computer isn't the fastest, and Daniel's getting annoyed.

"What, Sean? What the hell am I supposed to watch-" Both of them, completely silent. On the laptop, was their father. Sean had literally thousands of family pictures and videos on his laptop.

"Sean…" Daniel just whispered, not really expecting any response.

"I know, Enano. I know." The wolfbrothers sat for hours, watching a slideshow of their past lives. There were tears, laughs, and nostalgia. When the slideshow had ended, they both sat eerily silent. Both of them, feeling like any words would ruin the moment. Daniel didn't even realize how tired he was. Before he knew it, his head leaned on Sean's shoulder.

"Daniel, it's late. We should… go to bed." It felt strange, saying that again. In this house.

"Mhm… ok, Sean." Daniel sounds like he's already sleeping as he walks back to his own room. Sean really felt like he had to… sleep. He goes to the bathroom, bringing a toothbrush with him. One of the few things he actually brought on this trip. A few seconds later, Daniel enters the room.

"Don't do it, Sean. Don't you fucking dare, bro!" But he did. Lots of it too. Almost got his toothbrush stuck in the throat as a result.

Daniel had, for reasons Sean definitely did not understand, put on one of his old pajamas. It would probably have fit him a year ago… probably. Now, he's a lot taller, and life on the road even gave the kid some muscles. So, the thing looks just ridiculous on him now. Daniel in his way too small Hot Dog Man pajamas, showing off his bullet wound. Sean could not contain his laughter, not for one second.

"Daniel- what- why- I don't- god!" He's laughing so badly that he can't even speak.

"Asshole… it's not my fault I can't remember to pack the shit I need." Sean manages to calm down, at least somewhat.

"Yes, it is, dude." He gives Daniel a playful punch on the shoulder.

"Whatever, man… asshole." Daniel whispers, but with a smile on his face. Things felt… normal. Like they used to. After finishing up in the bathroom, Sean goes to his little brother's room. Daniel's already in his bed. This felt strange. Good, but still… strange.

"Hey, Sean." Daniel greets him with a tired-sounding voice. Sean sits down on the bed next to him.

"So, Enano… how does it feel? You know… all of this?" Sean had expected his brother to look confused and not understand what he meant. Apparently, he underestimated him.

"It feels… good, Sean. Kinda weird, but still… good. But it's just- no. It's nothing." Daniel moves around, lying on his side so his back is turned towards Sean.

"What's wrong, Daniel? It's… ok. I won't be mad. Promise." Daniel doesn't move, but Sean can almost hear his brother… thinking.

"It doesn't feel like… home, Sean. Why don't I feel at home here anymore? I like it here, Sean." Not an easy question to answer. Especially when Sean's been feeling the same thing.

"I- I know what you mean, Daniel. I feel it too. It's just… complicated, I guess." Sean's just trying to buy himself time to come up with a more believable answer.

"What do you mean, Sean?" Daniel's entire face just screams "please big brother, I need to know."

"I think that… this was never really our home. This house, I mean." Daniel looks confused, but patiently waits for Sean to elaborate.

"I think that… home for us, Daniel… always were… wherever dad was. And now, dad's not here." Sean takes a deep breath. Daniel needs his support now, he got to keep it together.

"But Sean… dad's… in the ground, right?" Daniel looks at him with an almost horrifying expression.

"No, Enano. That's just… his body. The dad we knew and loved, he's… he's still with us, Daniel." Sean fights so hard, not to cry.

"He's watching over us, keeping us safe, Enano. And…" Sean lays his palm on top of Daniel's heart.

"He'll always be with you, Daniel. In here. Always." Daniel just smiles back at him. Then, he rises back up, giving Sean a hug.

"Thanks, Sean. I- I know he is." Sean's not really sure if he believes his own words, but Daniel does, and that's what matters. Sean prepares to go back to his own room, but that probably was a bit naive of him…

"Sean…" Damn. Just the tone of the voice tells him enough. Daniel wants… something.

"Yeah, Daniel?" One thing still hasn't changed. Daniel could still pull off the please-give-me-stuff-because-I'm-cute look. That actually made Sean feel a bit… home.

"Could you tell me the wolf story? How it ended, like, how it really ended?" No matter what, he couldn't just say no.

"Ok, Enano. Just… make some room for me too, would you?" Sean lies down next to his brother.

"The wolfbrothers had to make a choice… they chose to turn themselves in, to the hunters…"

"Each wolf was so sad… he believed that he would never see his brother again… they were both wrong…"

"The oldest wolf was set free… the hunters could not keep him in a cage… he could reunite with his little cub, for good…"

"The wolfbrothers traveled back, to their old home lair… where their papa-wolf was shot…"

"The wolfbrothers discovered that… it didn't feel like home anymore… just a lair… with memories… good and bad…"

"But they were fine with that… their papa-wolf lived on, within them… howling in pride… he was so proud…"

Sean looks at his brother. Yep, definitely asleep. Taking great care not to wake Daniel, he slowly walks back to his own room. Then, Sean lies down in his own bed. That if anything, felt weird. He stares at the ceiling, not really wanting to sleep.

"I did all I could, dad. I hope you would be… proud of me. And… I miss you. So fucking much." Sean silently cries himself to sleep, as he realized that not even home… feels like home anymore.

Notes:

I've been wanting to do this one for a while, but I kinda feel that the end result is kinda "meh". I've been going through some... let's call it "personal BS", and for reasons I can't explain, I began writing this in the middle of it. The quality suffered as a result... oh well, it is what it is.

2021-10-12: This fic will now update more regurlarly. However, I'm kinda worried that the LIS2 community is dying... I- I don't like that.

Chapter 12: Life Is Unfair

Summary:

Sean has spent two months in prison, without any knowledge about what happened to Daniel after their arrest. Now, he will finally reunite with his brother.

Notes:

Takes place two months after the wolfbrothers arrest during the Redemption ending.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Two months after surrendering at the border…

Another day, another interrogation. Sean hated this. He already told Flores everything. Well, at least everything he believes she wants to hear. Sean told her that he killed that cop, lost control, took his brother, and ran. From there, everything just escalated. Pot farms, burnt down churches, a demolished police station. Sean took the blame for everything. The only thing that mattered, was that Daniel got off free, without anyone knowing what he could do. But, there was just one problem… Agent Flores wasn't stupid. She knew Sean was lying to him. She just didn't know how much, or about what, or why. At least he thinks so… he has to.

So every day, it's the same thing. Hours upon hours of interrogation, going through every gruesome detail surrounding his father's death. But he has to endure. Otherwise, this is all for nothing. Flores did all she could, trying to break Sean down. He hasn't seen or heard from his brother since they parted ways at the border, two fucking months ago. Sean doesn't even know where he is. Foster care? Grandparents? Nobody's telling him shit. For all he knows, Daniel could be dead and- NO! Shit… he's losing his mind in here.

As it turned out, a seventeen-year-old cop killer, made infamous during his one-year-long run from the law… wasn't very popular in prison. The fact that he's Mexican, didn't make things easier. On his first day here, he was surrounded by a group of people and accused of kidnapping his own brother. Sean doesn't remember much after that, just a sharp pain to the back of his head. They were the ones to strike first… and last. However, Sean had stood his ground, knocking out two other inmates in the process. At least that's what he's been told. He was so badly concussed, he couldn't remember his own name.

Since then, he mostly stays in his cell, avoiding people as much as possible. It's been an adjustment, and he hates it, but he can live with it… maybe. These fucking interrogations though… Sean stares at the clock on the wall, wondering why it has to be so damn loud. Just… get this shit over with. The door opens and Agent Flores steps inside the room. She's holding a bag and- the fuck? It smells like… hamburgers? What the fuck is this?

"Good morning, Sean." She greets him, placing the bag on the table. Damn, that smells… good. Sean knew that Flores was a mean bitch, but really? Is she going to eat a fucking burger while interrogating him? That's just cruel…

"Agent…" Sean responds silently, unable to take his eyes off the bag. The last time he ate a hamburger was… Christmas Eve. He couldn't get much for his brother, but at least he got him something good to eat. Sean could see before him, Daniel eating that burger and half of his face ends up covered in burger-juice. It actually brought a smile to his face, a rare thing nowadays.

"You seem to be in a good mood today, Sean?" Ugh, not anymore.

"Whatever, just… remembering old… times." He tries to brush it off.

"It's good that you can still remember the… good times, Sean. Not just the bad." Fuck's sake! Don't act like a shrink. He already has a prison shrink to act like a shrink for him. Sean doesn't respond. Flores sits down and takes out the contents of the bag. A double cheeseburger with fries, and a coke. Just… fuck you, Agent.

"I thought you might be hungry, Sean?" Flores gives him a smile, pushing the contents to his side of the table.

"… what?" Is she being… nice? Something's wrong.

"Come on, Sean. We both know the food in here is terrible. I didn't get this for myself, think of it as… a peace offering, of sorts." Sean knows she's up to something. The question is… what? Is this food even safe to eat? Could it be drugged? He doesn't fucking know!

"It's fine, Sean. I didn't put a Roofie or a Cyanide pill in the food. It's the FBI. If we wanted you dead, you never would have woken up from that coma." Wow, that's… creepy.

"Uuh… thanks, I guess?" Sean's feeling a bit creeped out, but as he takes his first bite, all of that goes away. Five minutes later, he can easily say that this was the best burger ever. Damn…

"Do you smoke, Sean?" The fuck? Did he die in his sleep? Why is she being so nice?

"Yeah." Flores gives him a cigarette and lights it for him. Sure, it's not weed, but damn… it felt great.

"It's not gonna work, you know…" Ok… he did not mean to say that out loud.

"What's not gonna work, Sean?" Flores looks at him, puzzled.

"Come on, Agent? Being the bad cop didn't give you shit. So, now you're trying to be the good cop. But it's not gonna work. I can't tell you more than I already have." A look of defeat shows in the face of Flores.

"Sean, today I came here to talk about-" Sean snaps. He's had enough. It's probably a good thing that he's handcuffed to a table.

"ABOUT WHAT?! You wanted ME to talk about how my dad DIED for the hundredth time, HUH?! Did you think this shit would make a difference?! Trying to act all nice, bribing me with a… fucking burger and a smoke?!" Sean screams to her face, but Flores doesn't show any emotions. Completely cold.

"… your brother, Sean. I came here today… to talk about your brother." Sean goes silent, terrified that he's fucked up his only chance to find out what happened to his brother.

"… Shit. I'm- I'm sorry." He hates to apologize to her, she doesn't deserve it. But he has to.

"It's fine, Sean." Flores looks in her folder.

"So, what- where- how… is he?" Sean stutters his way through a question.

"Your brother's doing just fine, Sean. After the border, he's been staying at a foster home in the area." SHIT! That's probably the last thing Sean wanted for him. Daniel is in a foster home. Scared, alone, not knowing anyone.

"… Fuck…" Sean whispers. Two months in foster care, and he didn't know.

"I have a suggestion, Sean." Flores's expression turns serious.

"What?" He responds, but his brain didn't register what he said. He's stuck on one thing, and one thing only. A picture is forming, inside his head. A picture of Daniel, in his foster home. He's sitting in his room, in a corner, crying, scared, and alone, with nobody to look after him. Nobody understands him for who he is. It scares the shit out of Sean.

"The next time we meet, Sean… I expect you to be honest with me. Leave nothing out, not even the smallest detail. And now…" Fuck this. He can't handle being interrogated now.

"Now what?" Sean sighs, bending over, and pretends to scratch his ankle. He doesn't care what she says. She can't give him shit.

"I can take you to see Daniel, now." Wait… WHAT?!

"WHAT?! Really?! Do you mean it- ow, motherfucker! Shit, sorry." Sean sat up so fast, he hit his head on the table.

"I mean it, Sean. But remember… I want you to be honest the next time we meet." Yeah, like Sean's going to say no…

"I- I promise, Agent. Thank you." One of those things he said was genuine. The other, not so much.

"Let's go then. I got a car waiting for us outside. I'll tell the guards to give you some more… casual clothes." She unlocked his handcuffs, and they both left the room.

Being outside these walls, it just felt so… surreal. And in regular street clothes, even better. Was this even happening? Is he really going to see his brother? His Enano? Two months… they haven't been apart this long since Haven Point. Shit, if Sean figured that out, Daniel probably did as well.

"Sean, I want to go over a few details with you." Flores turns to him. It was kinda nice of her to not have him handcuffed in the car. He could open up a window, feel the wind through his hair. He almost felt normal… almost.

"Yeah. What is it?" He's trying to not sound like a dick right now. The result is decent, at its best.

"There will be ten police officers in the area, wearing civilian clothing. All of them with one mission. Keep an eye on you, Sean. You escaped custody twice. Some of them would be more than happy to shoot you on sight. Don't give them a reason. Don't try anything, Sean." Why would he? How can someone be that smart, and that dumb, at the same time?

"I won't, Agent. Don't worry." Sean would never do anything to risk this opportunity. Flores sighs as the car stops at a large parking lot. Either this is the biggest foster home in the world… or something's up.

"What- what's going on?" There's a sign, but Sean can't make out what it says. Where the hell are they?

"I'm sorry, Sean. But I haven't been completely honest with you." You fucking bitch…

"Wh- what?" He's not going to see his brother, is he? Nope. Daniel's probably been shipped off to Area 51 by now.

"When Daniel-" Nope. You do not speak his name!

"You fucking LIED to me! I'm not gonna see him, am I?" Sean's fighting to not punch her in the face.

"Yes, Sean. You will." So, what the fuck's the problem?

"Then tell me, what the fuck is going-" Sean stopped in the middle of a sentence. He could read the sign now. Sean knew where they were.

Seattle Children's Hospital.

SHIT!

"What- what the hell is this?" Sean whispered in fear of what he might get in response.

"When you were separated, Sean… your brother was sent to a foster family. That much is true. However, after only a few weeks… he had to be admitted to the hospital. He's been staying here ever since. Daniel doesn't eat, sleep, drink, talk, he doesn't interact with people anymore, Sean." No. Enano…

"… and it's getting worse. A month ago, doctors had to sedate him, just to insert a feeding tube, so he wouldn't starve. It's been that way every time since then. He becomes… scared… aggressive. Daniel's cutting himself off from the outside world, Sean. For his sake, I hope that you can… help him." Fuck… this is bad. This is horrible.

"Why- why didn't you tell me?" Sean tries to hide the fear in his voice, but he probably failed.

"It just… wasn't the right time, Sean. Just remember our deal." Yeah, whatever.

As they walk through the hospital, Sean doesn't care about Flores lying to him for two months. He doesn't care about the cops that probably want him dead. Sean only cares about his brother and doing what he can to… help him. It's a massive building, and it feels like they're walking forever. They move past a sign that reads "Psychiatric Ward". This just keeps getting better and better. Eventually, Flores stops in front of a door.

"I will be right outside this room, Sean. Any questions?" Just one.

"How- how long?" If she says some shit like fifteen minutes, Sean's pretty sure someone's going down.

"I've pulled in some favors, and… if everything works out, you can spend the night here, and leave around twelve tomorrow." Holy shit. That's actually… nice of her. How bout that?

"Thanks, Agent. I mean it. Really." Sean takes a deep breath, and opens the door, stepping inside the room.

The first thing to hit him was how… quiet it was. No television on with way too loud sound, no sound of Daniel giggling. Nothing. It almost seemed empty. Like nobody was there. Sean barely saw anything inside the room. Every single curtain had been pulled down, and the lights turned off. It was near pitch-black. Sean reached for the light switch and turned on the light.

The room went from completely dark to being bright as fuck. Sean felt almost blinded, courtesy of the white lights in the room with a white floor and white walls. He looks around. Sean can see a bed, a small table, and two chairs. The table and chairs have been bolted right on the floor, just like in prison. The bed is empty. Is this a fucking joke- Sean heard something. He looks over to the far corner of the room, and there sits Daniel.

His little brother's just sitting in the corner, staring into the wall, back turned against him. Daniel's legs are pulled up to his chest, as he's slowly rocking back and forth. Did he even notice the lights turning on? Sean fights with every fiber of his being, he can not cry. Not now, not here! He slowly moves towards his brother.

"Daniel…?" He whispers carefully, only to receive complete silence in response. This is far worse than he could ever imagine. The kid's barely hanging on. Sean tries again, with a bit more… confidence.

"Daniel?" He did get a reaction this time, just not the one he was expecting.

"NO! Fuck you! DIE, DIE, DIE!" Daniel never even turned around, he just… screamed. Sean could hear the pain behind those words. Daniel didn't even know he was speaking to Sean… fuck. He can hear how Daniel's crying, but isn't even bothering to hide it like he usually does. Sean also notices a few more details about his younger brother. Each one making him more worried than the last.

Daniel's still wearing the same torn jersey he wore the last time they saw each other. Two fucking months ago! It's the only thing he still has from dad, so he probably refused to throw it away. And when forced to, he became… aggressive. Then Sean picked up on the smell inside the room. It was horrible. And it came from Daniel. What the fuck have they done to him here? Two months without a fucking shower? Two months of blood, sweat, tears, and… probably- no, definitely other stuff as well. Sean wants to cry.

"Go away. Please… just… go away." Daniel whimpers. What the hell is he going to do? This is… too much.

"I- I just want… my brother. Sean… I- I- want… Sean." This situation might be many things. It's sick, insane, wrong, and disgusting. Yet somehow, this brought a smile to Sean's face. Maybe there's still hope…

"Daniel, it's me. It's Sean. I'm here, buddy." Sean says in the nicest way he possibly can.

It didn't work…

"FUCK YOU! Don't you FUCKING touch me! I hate you, I hate you, I fucking HATE you! I want SEAN!" Shit. Daniel still hasn't turned around. He still hasn't seen him. Daniel's just sitting there, rocking back and forth, like he truly is… losing his mind. Sean can only think of one thing to do. He didn't want to risk it, because if it backfires, Daniel might use his powers and send him flying. But at this point, there's no other way.

Sean goes down on one knee, right behind his brother. He can literally see how Daniel's entire body shakes in fear. Then, he carefully places a hand on Daniel's shoulder and uses his most soothing voice.

"Enano?" Daniel froze. Sean's pretty sure he stopped breathing. Sean doesn't know what to do, this was the only idea he had. If it doesn't work, Daniel's lost to the abyss forever.

"S- S- Sean?" He could barely hear him say it. Daniel's voice was so weak. His younger brother turns to face him, and now he finally gets a good look at Daniel's face.

Sean's horrified.

Absolutely horrified.

The fact that his brother got two months of tears and general dirt in his face is bad enough. But Sean can see it so clearly… Daniel's not a kid anymore. However, it isn't because he's older. It's because the kid inside him… is dead. He could see it in his eyes, hear it in his voice. The pain, the suffering… everything. Daniel's lost so much weight that Sean barely recognizes him anymore.

"Sean…? Is- Is that really… you?" Daniel asks just as quietly as last time. He looks Daniel in his eyes, and Daniel looks back.

"Yeah. It's me, Enano. It's- it's your big brother, Sean." He tries his best to pull off a smile. The result probably wasn't very good.

"Sean…?" Daniel reaches out with his hand, placing it slowly on Sean's shoulder. Then, his hand moves up towards his brother's face. Almost like Daniel doesn't believe that he's real. Like he has to make sure that Sean's really there. As soon as Daniel's fingers touch the eye patch, they both freeze. Sean's convinced he's fucked up now.

But…

"SEAN!" Daniel launched himself at his older brother, wrapping his arms around him. Sean, being slightly… unprepared, stumbled backward and hit the back of his head on the wall. It hurt like hell, but he didn't care. He got Daniel to snap out of it. Thank god!

"Sean. You're… you're here!" Daniel's crying, still refusing to let go.

"Yeah, little brother. I'm here. You're gonna be ok. I promised you, remember?" Sean cried. He knew that he missed Daniel a lot. Like, a whole lot. But not this much.

"No, Sean. I- I'm not. I hate it here, I don't know what to do. Everything feels just… pointless." Sean had a difficult time understanding what his brother was saying. His voice was so weak. This kid needs some energy, and fast.

"I know it hurts, Daniel. And… I'm hurting too. We both went through a lot of… shit. But you need to trust me, Enano… can you do that?" Fuck. It hurts Sean so much, seeing his brother like this. It's like he's just… given up on everything.

"You're the only one I trust, Sean…" Daniel says. Sean's not entirely sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing.

"Ok, good. So, you see the pile of clean clothes there, Enano?" Daniel nods.

"How about you take a shower, like, a really long shower… and I'll see if I can get you something to eat in the meantime."

"NO! You- you won't be here when I'm done, please- please don't leave me, Sean." Sean put his forehead against his brother's, looking right into his eyes. His very sad eyes.

"Daniel! I swear on our dad's grave, that I won't leave you, Enano." Daniel seems a bit more relaxed.

"O- Ok, I- I trust you, Sean." One final hug and Daniel went towards a long overdue shower. Sean went to Agent Flores to see if he could negotiate a few things for his little brother…

It wasn't easy. Agent Flores wasn't exactly thrilled when Sean had asked for it. Sean Diaz is still, after all, a prisoner. However, she knew that it wasn't for him, but for his brother. So, the minute Daniel came out of the shower wearing clean clothes…

"Wow… Sean." He just stood there.

"Yeah. I thought you might be hungry? Come on, Daniel. You wanna try to eat something, buddy?" Sean convinced Flores to get Daniel a double cheeseburger with extra-large fries, soda, and a milkshake. It was quite different from a feeding tube…

"Yeah…" Daniel sits down, almost with a look of confusion on his face. Like he's forgotten how to do. He starts with a couple of fries, eating very slowly, in complete silence.

"Good, Daniel. You need the energy if you want to get better, you know." Daniel stops and turns to Sean, looking him in the eye.

"Sean?" He looks so fragile, so afraid.

"Yeah, Daniel?" He tries to sound… normal. He probably doesn't. This is fucked up in so many ways.

"Why- why are you… here?" Oh, shit…

"Uhm, what- what do you mean, man?" Fuck, Sean, really? This is NOT the time to lie to him! But the truth will hurt him, so much.

"Well, aren't you supposed to be in pris- in pris-" Daniel sighs as he realizes he can't even say the word.

"… you know what I mean?" Yeah. He did. Far too well.

"They told me… you weren't doing too good, Daniel. I- I can be with you-" Sean tries to find the best way to tell him, but Daniel interrupts.

"Wait?! You- you can stay with me until I'm good again, Sean?! That's- that's so cool!" Sean could almost feel his heart break as he saw Daniel's face light up, filled with hope and… almost joy. He sighs.

"Daniel… I- I'm only allowed to stay until tomorrow. Then, I'm going… back. I'm… sorry." He really wishes he could show his brother, just how sorry he truly is.

"But- but… no." All that previous hope, all that joy, had now been crushed into oblivion.

"P- P- Please, Sean. D- Don't leave me. I- I don't know… what to do anymore." It's not fair, it's just not fair.

"Daniel! You're strong, Enano. You can do this, I believe in you. And… I- I know it sucks, I hate it too. Really, I do." His younger brother looks at him with a disapproving look in his eyes.

"No… you don't. Nobody cares about… me." Shit. He's completely buried himself in guilt and depression.

"Remember that night at the motel, Daniel? Remember what I told you?" Daniel just nods as he thinks back to the night where Sean promised to never lie to him again.

"I have spent two months in prison, Daniel. Nobody has told me anything about what happened to you, until today. Of all the horrible things in there, that was by far the worst one. It broke me, Daniel. Not knowing… where you were, what happened to you." Sean's starting to fear that he might guilt-trip his brother even more. But before he knows it, Daniel wraps his arms around him.

"Sorry, Sean. It's just… hard. I feel so alone. I- I don't want you to leave me." Daniel whimpers in his ear.

"I'm not leaving you, Enano. We'll still see each other. Just… not as often as we'd like." Yeah, that's putting it mildly…

"But… I don't have anyone else, Sean." Daniel sounds so scared.

"Look, the foster care thing… it's only temporary. I'm sure you can stay with Claire and Stephen." Daniel looks at him, almost shocked.

"Really?" It sounded like he couldn't believe what Sean was saying. Sean couldn't either, actually. Why? Because he made it up. He lied. He just hopes that… Daniel really gets to live there.

"Yeah, man. And when you do, you'll have Chris as a friend, right?" Daniel looks like he's starting to put the pieces together.

"Yeah… I- I will. I think- I think I'll… really like that, Sean." His younger brother gives him a tired smile.

With Daniel now cleaned up, and well-fed, the worst part was over. But it didn't mean that the easy part was left. Sean still had to play child psychologist to his brother. Something that Sean was NOT looking forward to…

"Hey, Enano? Can we… talk a little?" They're both laying in the small hospital bed, Daniel with an arm over Sean.

"Sure, I guess…" He kinda sounded like he knew… what was coming.

"So, Agent Flo- uh, I mean… they- they told me…" Naming Flores would probably not be the best thing to do right now.

"… They told me that… you attacked the doctors, Daniel? Is that… true?" Daniel turned his eyes away, looking to the other side of the room. To the corner where he sat earlier.

"I- I just…" Sean knows his brother can have a difficult time explaining himself when emotional.

"It's ok. Take your time, Enano. I'm listening." Daniel turns back to face him, closes his eyes, and takes a deep breath.

"I just felt so… angry, and so scared, Sean. I was so scared. So… alone. I had nobody to talk to, and you- you had just… disappeared. Nobody told me anything about you when I could visit you, nothing. So I ended up here. And I hate it here. There was this… woman. She wanted me to talk with her about… all the bad stuff. She was kinda nice but treated me like a five-year-old. Nobody ever listened to me. I- I just… lost all hope, Sean. Did I attack them? Yes, I did. They probably didn't deserve it, but I was just so… angry. And sad. I missed you so much, Sean." God, that hurts for Sean to hear.

"Fuck… I'm so sorry, Daniel." The brothers embrace, and Sean feels like Daniel is, at last, moving in the right direction.

"Sean, I'm kinda tired…" Daniel yawns loudly.

"Ok. Let's go to sleep, then. Did you brush your teeth?" Sean knew he had not.

"Yep." Yeah… nope.

"Dude, come on? You've got literally like, one whole month of bad breath. I can smell it from here, man." Daniel had a look of defeat on his face. It just made Sean happy. If his brother can pout about small everyday things, that means there's still hope. Daniel brushes his teeth, changes to the hospital version of pajamas, and gets in the bed next to Sean.

"You're gonna be ok, buddy?" Sean could feel that his brother wanted to ask him something. No, not wanted. Needed.

"Sean… are you gonna be gone, when I wake up?" Daniel looks at him with the saddest eyes he's ever seen. God, it's not fucking fair!

"No, Daniel. I promise you, I won't. Try to get some rest, Enano." Sean feels like he could really need some sleep as well.

"Sean…?" He might have been a bit… naive, to think that.

"Yeah, Daniel?" Sean says, already knowing what's coming.

"Can you… tell me the wolf story? Please…" Yeah, like he's going to deny Daniel that now?

"Sure I can. Get comfy, Daniel. Where were we…" Sean tells his little brother the story of the wolfbrothers. From the very beginning, all the way to the end.

"… the oldest wolf was put in a cage, separating the wolfbrothers from each other. The little cub… got very, very sick… his brother was very worried about him…" Daniel's been asleep since the wolfbrothers were in Humboldt. Why he's still telling the story, Sean doesn't know.

"… The little cub was still sad, very sad. But he would overcome it, and live his life as a free wolf… in the wild, wild… world." Sean finishes his story. Then, he looks at Daniel, who's been asleep for at least an hour. Then, he stares at the ceiling. Sean wasn't entirely sure when the tears came. But he did all he possibly could do, to not wake his brother up. That night, Sean Eduardo Diaz cried himself to sleep. As he lay there, he knew that this would be the last time in many, many years, that he could fall asleep with his younger brother's arm over him. The last time that Daniel would fall asleep with the safety and comfort Sean provided him. How old would Daniel be when Sean's released from prison? Thirty? Fuck. Just the thought of it… is too much. He cries, and he cries, as silently as possible, until he fell into a troublesome sleep.

The next morning…

Sean had been up early, he couldn't sleep. Part of him wanted to wake Daniel up, just so they could… be brothers a little more before he had to leave. The other part of Sean wanted to let Daniel sleep because the kid looked exhausted. He went with the latter. Now, it's almost time to leave… and Daniel's still asleep. Sean had been thinking a lot, and… he hated this. It was wrong, it goes against everything he's ever told Daniel, and against what Sean even wants himself. But, it's the lesser of two evils, somehow…

He's not going to wake Daniel up.

It sucks, he feels terrible, he swore that he wouldn't be gone when he woke up. But he wants to spare Daniel from a very painful goodbye. Sean hates himself for doing this, it doesn't feel right. But then again, what does? Flores had given him thirty minutes to get ready. He sits on the bed, looking at his sleeping brother. Daniel looks so… peaceful. So calm. Like any normal kid.

"I'm sorry, Daniel. I- I think it's better this way, better if- if I'm just… gone." Sean slowly bends down, kissing his brother's forehead.

"Goodbye, Daniel. I love you. You'll always be my Enano." Sean's voice cracked. Daniel moved around a little.

"Mmm… love you too, Sean." Sean smiles as he leaves the room and his little brother, not knowing when, if ever, he would see him again.

"Are you ready, Sean?" Flores asked him, sounding… caring?

"Yeah. I'm ready. And… thank you, you know… for this." Flores just gives him a decent smile in return. And they begin to leave the building. God, when would he see Daniel again? Six months? A year? Ten… years? Just thinking about it makes Sean want to scream, and it's not like that fucking flickering light helps either- wait… no, it's nothing. One light doesn't have to mean anything.

One light becomes two…

Two lights become five…

Five lights become a fuckload of flickering lights…

Then, everything…

And then, nothing…

Just as fast as it began, it had stopped. The staff at the hospital seemed to treat it like a generator failure. Maybe… they were right?

"Something wrong, Sean?" Flores asks him with a genuine concern in her voice. Sean just realized that he's stopped walking. That's… not recommended if you're being escorted out by a federal agent.

"Uh… yeah. I'm- I'm fine, it's just-" Then, he heard it.

"Sean?! Where are you?! Sean?! Please, answer me?!" Daniel. Running down the hallway, screaming his big brother's name in sheer terror. The poor kid must have woken up right after Sean left the room. Only to find out that Sean was nowhere to be found. Sean looks at Flores, almost pleading to her.

"Go to him, Sean." Sean runs towards his brother.

"Daniel!" He calls out and manages to get his brother's attention.

"SEAN!" Daniel runs to him as Sean gets down on one knee to hug him.

Big mistake…

Daniel's a short kid, meaning that Sean stepping down on one knee placed him in perfect height for a punch to the face.

Which is exactly what Daniel gave him…

"Ow, what the fuck, man?!" Sean barely had any time to react. Although, he had to admit it… Daniel… could fucking punch hard!

"Don't EVER leave me alone like that, Sean! You fucking ASSHOLE!" Daniel screamed at him, before hugging him tightly.

"I- I know, Daniel. I'm sorry. It's just… I'm sorry." No point in trying to explain it. He fucked up, and he knew it.

"I don't want you to leave, Sean," Daniel tells him with tears in his eyes.

"I know, Daniel. I don't want it either. But… you have to be strong, be brave, be a fighter, Enano. Like you already are." Sean just wishes that his brother didn't need to be a fighter. He should just be a kid.

"Ok, Sean. I'll try." Daniel sounds… skeptical.

"No, man. Remember what we always said in Seattle? What the true road to victory was?" Daniel looks at him, puzzled.

"Yeah…?" Sounding even more puzzled.

"Passion, strength, and power, Daniel. Through those, you'll break the chains of depression that are holding you down, Enano." At least Sean hopes so.

"How?" Daniel asks, still not really understanding.

"Because, Daniel… you are passionate, in there." Sean places his palm on Daniel's heart.

"You're strong… up there." Sean puts his index finger on his brother's forehead.

"And… you know… you're kinda powerful too, right?" Sean jokingly says as he holds Daniel's hands.

"Maybe… maybe you're right, Sean?" Daniel seems to get it now.

"It's not gonna get easy, Daniel. And it's gonna take time, lots of it. But in the end, you're gonna be fine. Trust your instincts. You're not a little cub anymore, Daniel. Just… never forget who you are, ok?" Daniel got a very serious look on his face.

"I promise you, Sean, I won't forget. I swear." He gives Sean a final hug.

"Goodbye, Daniel. I love you." Sean really, really hoped that his brother would be ok.

"Bye, Sean. I love you too." He wasn't crying anymore. Instead, he stood in the middle of the hallway waving goodbye. He looked sad, but still, a lot better than when Sean got here. Sean sits down in the car. Now, it's back to prison. Interrogations, being beaten up on a regular basis, and… not seeing Daniel. He had no doubt that Daniel would pull through in the end, the kid was strong. But what about… him? What about Sean? Would Sean… pull through? To be honest, he wasn't very sure that he could. He had no support inside those walls. Daniel would be surrounded by people caring for him, loving him, helping him, and comforting him. Obviously, Sean thinks that's great. But he doesn't have any support. And he's not sure how long those dark thoughts are going to be just that. Thoughts. Without any help, it might not be long until he actually… goes through with it.

Notes:

I feel pleased with how this one turned out. Honestly, I would be pissed if I wasn't. Why? Because go back in time, like, a year back, too long before I ever dared to start writing... This was the FIRST idea I ever got for a story of my own. So... there's THAT.

Also: Kudos to the one who can find the Star Wars reference...

Chapter 13: Don't Think - Just Drink

Summary:

Sean Diaz turns nineteen years old today. He's alone and he's miserable. He plans on just drinking the pain away. However, fate has other plans for him tonight...

Notes:

Parting Ways ending - Takes place two years after the border incident.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

August 15th, 2019 — two years after the wolfbrothers parted ways…

Sean Diaz should be happy today. He should be out there, celebrating with his friends, with his brother. Why? Because today, he turns nineteen years old. At least he thinks so. Sean doesn't bother to keep up with the dates anymore. There's just no reason to do so. It's not like he's got anywhere important to be. As for celebrating with his friends…? Sean would gladly hang out with someone, anyone… but he can't. Back in America, people considered him a Mexican. In Mexico, people consider him an American. He couldn't make any friends here, he just wasn't… one of them. No social life, a shitty home, stealing to survive. All that he can live with, if he didn't… miss him so much.

His little brother, Daniel.

Enano.

It's been over two years since that fateful day at the border. Sean still doesn't know what went wrong. He truly believed that Daniel wanted to come here with him. And then, without even a fucking warning…

"I'm sorry, Sean… but I have to go. Please, don't turn back for me." And just like that, he was gone. Daniel was… gone. The little brother Sean sacrificed so much for… gone. His one fucking anchor, the one thing keeping him somewhat sane… gone. Sean didn't know how many times he'd woken up in the middle of the night, screaming to his brother how sorry he was. But Daniel never heard him. All Sean ever heard were those words. At this point, they're burnt into Sean's skull for all eternity. Don't turn back for me…

Sean had been alone for so long, with nobody to talk to. He wanted nothing more than to see his brother again. But at the same time, he was afraid. He had developed a love/hate relationship with Daniel. Sean was afraid that if they were to meet again, it might end badly. Courtesy of his younger brother, Sean's stuck in this shitty house, alone and depressed. He doesn't even know why he's bothering to get out of bed every day. At least he's got a bed now. That's always… something, right?

Right?

No.

No, it's not.

It doesn't matter what Sean has inside his house. Sure, he's got some furniture and shit, but the house is still a fucking mess. And even if it wasn't, he's still alone. He doesn't even have any damn electricity. All he ever does is spend his days on the beach, drinking cheap beer. It doesn't take the pain away, but it makes it… easier to live with. At least for a while. He's been nineteen now for about ten hours. Nobody called him. To be fair, he doesn't even have a phone, but even if he did have one… the results would be the same. There are no postcards in the mail. Why should he expect anything else? Nobody… gives a shit about him. He remembers those homemade postcards Daniel always gave him. His little brother always used to draw on them, and write something barely readable. But Sean always loved it. It showed that Daniel used to care about him.

Used to…

The Daniel that he knew… he would have loved Puerto Lobos. Living right next to the ocean, go swimming every day. Sean sighs heavily as he sits down at the kitchen table. He's been very careful about spending the little money that he has. But today, he used some of it to buy a bottle of Tequila. By tomorrow, this bottle will be empty. Sean plans to drink until the pain just… disappears. He pours his first shot, takes it in his hand, and raises it to the roof.

"Happy fucking nineteenth birthday, Sean!" He calls out as loud as he can. Sean meant to sound genuinely happy with his little announcement. Instead, it just sounded… sad, and desperate. Like a cry for help.

"Well… make a wish then, you dumbass." Sean knows it doesn't work like that. Well, he knows it doesn't work at all. But at this point, he's so lonely, and so desperate, that it can't exactly make things worse. Sean concentrates intensely on the one thing he would want today. Obviously, nothing happens.

"It's finally happened. I'm about to lose my mind. Fuck…" Sean pours his second shot and puts down the bottle. He just sits there, staring emptily into the wall. Then, he almost jumps ten feet in the air as somebody knocks on his door. Why would someone knock on his door? Nobody's ever done that since he came here… two years ago. Nobody cares… about him.

"Go away!" Sean screams at the door, hoping that whoever's behind it will leave him to his alcoholic demise.

They… did not. Instead, there was more banging on the door, much louder this time.

"For fuck's sake, you didn't hear me the first time, did you? You've had your chance, asshole." Sean mumbles to himself as he walks to the door, preparing to give the person behind it a piece of his mind… and fist. Mostly fist. Sean reaches out, opening the door, so pissed he's shaking.

"Ok, motherfucker?! What the fuck's so important that you-" He could hear somebody, a young boy, calling out his name. All Sean saw, was a red flash moving at the speed of light. The next thing he knew, he was laying on the floor.

"SEAN!" Ok, what the actual FUCK is going on?! Daniel? He's here… he's really here.

Enano.

Little cub.

How… much did Sean drink again?

"SEAN!" Daniel calls out again, crying, but still… happy. Sean still can't believe it's happening. Technically, he hasn't seen Daniel yet. Just heard him.

"Daniel…? Is- is that you?" Sean's words are barely audible. He's terrified that speaking too loud might cause… whateverthefuck this is, to end… if it isn't real. His brother reluctantly breaks out of the hug, but still holds his hand firmly.

Now, for the first time in two years, Sean Diaz stands face-to-face with his little brother, Daniel Diaz. The initial shock seems to have settled a little for Daniel. For Sean, it just started. Not only did he realize that this is actually real, and not just some drunken hallucination. As he looked at his younger brother, he realized that… holy shit.

Daniel's grown. A lot. He's so fucking tall, and Sean's so fucking short. Daniel's almost as tall as he is. Well, not quite, but… god. His voice is slightly deeper than it used to be, but only a little. Daniel's not ten anymore, he's… twelve. Fuck. Against all odds, Daniel's even got himself a completely different haircut. It looks… very similar to the one Sean had back in Seattle. Coincidence? Probably… not? God, he's missed so much. So fucking much.

"Enano!" Sean cries out, embracing his younger brother. It didn't matter if the kid was twice his size, he would always be "Enano" to him.

"I missed you so much, Sean!" Daniel can barely get the words out.

"I missed you too… Daniel. I missed you too." Just saying his brother's name felt strange. But in a good way for once.

"Happy nineteenth birthday, big brother!" Daniel says as he hands him two envelopes.

"Wait- you… remembered…?" Sean feels like a jackass for even asking the question. But he feels so… confused. Something at the back of his head, tells him that there's something… off, with this situation. Daniel… seems to be here alone. Right now, Sean can't be bothered to act like an adult. He doesn't know if Daniel lives with Claire and Stephen, but it feels like a safe bet. And they never contacted Sean once. So, fuck them. Daniel's safe with him, he always was. For now, Sean decides to just… enjoy the moment.

"Of course I remember, Sean. I would never forget that. Never. You're the most… important person in my life. You're my brother." Daniel smiles at him, pointing at the envelopes. Sean opens the first one. It contains a hand-made card, with two wolves on the front. Daniel's written "Happy eighteenth birthday Sean!" on it.

"Wait what? Eighteen, Daniel? Really…?" Daniel's face turns red as he looks at the floor.

"I- uh- it's kind of a long story. I'll tell you later… maybe. Now, open the other one." Ok, there's definitely more to it than that. Daniel might have grown, but he's still a shitty liar. But he's already decided to enjoy the moment, so Sean opens the second envelope. It contains six photos. But not even six tons of gold would have meant this much to Sean. Six different photos. One of Sean and Lyla at the Misty Mice concert. God, he misses her so much. One family picture, from a Christmas Eve a few years ago. One of Sean and Esteban, where the latter teaches Sean how to drive. A picture of Sean and Daniel sitting on the couch in Seattle, Sean's got his arm around his brother, and Daniel's head rests on Sean's shoulder. A picture of his father, working in the garage, just being… dad. And finally, a picture of Daniel, from his ninth birthday. He looks so happy.

"Oh, my god, Daniel. This- this is… thank you…" Sean feels like a simple thank you isn't even nearly enough. But he's completely stunned.

"There wasn't… much left… from our house. Lyla saved a couple of photos. I just… thought you might want these. You know, so you don't forget about… me." Daniel's voice is low and sad. Almost like he's ashamed. Part of Sean believes that he should be.

"Daniel. I've thought about you every single day, for the past two years, Enano. I'll never forget you, no matter what happens." It was like he had pressed a button. Daniel just launched himself at Sean, clinging on to him as his life depended on it. He was a lot… heavier now…

"I'm so sorry, Sean! I'm sorry! Sorry, sorry, sorry, I'm so fucking sorry!" At the back of his head, Sean knew… he knew something wasn't right. After two whole years, Daniel should have processed this to some degree. Instead, he's having a full-blown meltdown in Sean's living room. Sean knows that the right thing to do here, is to ask his brother… why he's here, and how he got here. But Sean's got all the right in the world to be a little selfish. So he buries these thoughts, deep inside his brain. Now, he can be a big brother again.

"Shh, shh. It's ok, little cub. Everything's fine. Don't worry. Your big brother's here… and he's never leaving you." Sean whispers into his brother's ear. It brings back many memories for him. Those first nights in Willamette National Forest had been horrible for Daniel. He was so afraid of the dark. Sean had to comfort him every night, whispering soothing words until he fell asleep.

"Th- thanks, S- Sean. I get… panic attacks… sometimes. I just… can't control it. That's the… first time anyone's done anything that helped. Thanks." Fuck. It hurt, hearing his brother say he gets panic attacks.

"No problem, bro. You good?" Sean smiles at him. Daniel doesn't respond. Instead, he gets up and walks outside, to the beach. Sean follows him slowly, still a bit worried about what to expect. Daniel looks out at the ocean, Sean stands next to him.

"I don't think I made the right decision, Sean. I- I really don't. I should have gone with you, I'm sorry. Every single day, I think about it. And every single day, I come to the same conclusion, Sean. I was wrong, and you were right." Shit. Has he been living with regret all this time?

"No, Enano. You did… right. You did what was best for you. I did what-" Sean doesn't finish that sentence. He doesn't even know what he did.

"Why, Sean? You seem to have a good life here, right?" Please, Daniel. Don't go there. Just… don't.

"So, what do you do for a living here, Sean? Or for fun? What's it like here? Dad… never told me, just you." Yeah… with good reason, unfortunately.

"Daniel, I- uh- I already… told you everything about my life here." Well, that's one way to put it.

"Uh… what do you mean, Sean? You haven't told me anything, dude?" His younger brother seems a bit confused. Which is… understandable.

"I haven't told you anything because- because there's nothing to tell, Daniel. I'm- I'm nothing, nobody." Sean looks away in shame. He doesn't want Daniel to know any of this, but it's kinda hard to hide it.

"What? Don't say that, Sean. You're not a nobody, you're my brother!" Daniel looked almost angry at him for saying it.

"Come on, Daniel. Just… look around, man. I've got nothing. The house is shitty, the furniture is shitty, I have no electricity, and I cry myself to sleep. Every day I wonder why… do I even bother? Hell, thirty seconds before you showed up, I was planning on emptying that bottle over there, unless-" Sean stops.

"Unless what, Sean?" Daniel felt that there's something more to it.

"… Nothing, it's stupid. Just… forget about it, ok?" Because it really is stupid, yeah.

"Unless WHAT, Sean?!" Daniel's really grown a lot, hasn't he? No more pouting, instead, he's firm, clearly showing that he's demanding an answer.

"Unless… fuck it. I poured a glass and made a wish. Thought really hard about it, like, really hard. The one thing I would want for my birthday." Sean tries so hard to not cry.

"What- what is that, Sean?" Ok, so his brother's body might have grown. His brain clearly, has not.

"You, Enano." He didn't know what else to say.

"Huh? Me?" Daniel looks completely shocked.

"I just wanted to see you. My brother, my… Enano. Instead of drinking until I pass out… again." He could feel Daniel's hand on his shoulder. Said hand was a lot larger now, compared to the last time he had it there.

"It's ok, Sean. I'm here now, right?" It brought a small smile to Sean's face.

"Wait- can you even drink that much, Sean? So you pass out?" Ah, it felt good, seeing that his brother still had some innocence left.

"Well… yeah, I guess." Not that he's particularly proud of it though…

"So… is it this stuff? Tee-kvi-la?" Nice try, bro. Nice try.

"It's pronounced Tequila, and it's not for kids, Daniel." Sean grabs the bottle, putting it away.

"Aw, you're no fun, dude. I'm no kid anymore, Sean. I'm a teenager in six months, dude!" Holy shit, he's right. Daniel Diaz, teenager… may God have mercy, or Satan. Sean thinks back to the first time he got drunk. He and Lyla stole a bottle of Absinthe from Lyla's mom. Lyla was so hungover that she missed an entire week of school. Sean had woken up in his father's garage thanks to a three-year-old Daniel poking him with a stick. Sean at the time had been ten years of age. A lot of phone calls had to be made that day…

So, if he was ten, and Daniel now is twelve… would it be that bad of him to let his little brother drink? The kid obviously wants to. Sean wanted to drink as well, and he did. Then he was sober for five years. He deserves to have a brotherly moment. Fuck it. They both do!

"You know what, Daniel?" His younger brother looks at him, slightly pouty.

"What…?" Ok, a bit more than slightly…

"Take a glass from that cabinet there and let's go sit outside." Sean grabs the bottle and moves towards the door.

"Why, Sean?" Did his brain… shrink?

"The Diaz brothers are going to drink Tequila on the porch of their father's beach house in Puerto Lobos, Mexico," Sean announced proudly.

"Cool…" Daniel almost didn't believe what he heard, but he sure as hell did not question it. He sits down next to Sean who pours him a shot of what is about to become, his very first drop of alcohol. Daniel grabs the glass, looking at Sean.

"So, do I just…?"

"This is strong shit, Daniel. You drink everything at once. Just… don't think, just drink, Enano." Nice, Sean.

"Ok, Sean. I trust you." Daniel smiles, albeit nervously. Sean raises his glass to Daniel's.

"It's great to see you, Daniel. I- I missed my Enano."

"It's great to see you too, Sean. And… happy birthday!" They both empty their glasses. Sean's used to it by now. Daniel… not so much. He coughs so much that his face becomes red.

"Holy- holy- whaddefuck, Sean?! Defuck's that shit?" Daniel still coughing as he tries to talk to Sean.

"Yeah, I figured as much…" Sean opens the cooler under the table, picking up a soda for his brother instead.

"NO, Sean! Don't you dare, don't you fucking dare!" … Dare what?

"What, Daniel? You didn't even like it. You just… coughed." Then again, so did he. But that Absinthe… it was good shit.

"Yeah, I did. I just have to… get used to it, or… something. Come on, man." Ok. Does Daniel want to be drunk? Then… Daniel's getting so drunk that he's never going to want a drink in his life again.

"Ok, then. Next round, bro!" Two new shots. Daniel actually finished this one, although with grimaces that made it look like he was in incredible pain.

An unknown amount of hours & alcoholic beverages later…

The brothers were still sitting on the porch. The stronger liqueur was long gone. Instead, they've moved on to the beer. Something Daniel, believe it or fucking not, liked. How about that? Sean didn't think about how wrong this actually was. Not anymore. He enjoyed himself. For the first time in two fucking years, he had a genuinely great fucking time. Also, drunken Daniel was, at times, incredibly entertaining.

"Yeah- yeah, Chris- no, Sean, look at thaaat…" Daniel points up at the full moon. Daniel's so wasted he can't even remember his own brother's name, Sean, while drunk, has a bit more… control of things.

"Yeah, Daniel. It's a full moon." As soon as he said it, Daniel jumps up and put his hands over his mouth. He takes a deep breath and Sean expects him to howl, obviously.

"MOOO!" Sean bursts out laughing as Daniel makes cow sounds to the moon.

"Wait- hey, Sean? How- how wolf a does sound?" It just makes Sean laugh even more. However, somehow Daniel managed to solve this mystery.

"Oh, right! I'm so fucking stupid, Sean." With renewed energy, Daniel repeats the same motions, and…

"OOOOWWWOOOOOOOOOOO… OWOO OOWWOOOOOOOO!" He howls at the full moon. Sean stops laughing and starts doing the same thing as his brother.

"Wolfbrothers forever!" Sean calls out.

"Yeah! We're the wolfbrothers reunited, you hear me maddafacka- oh- oh god. Sean. I- I don't feel so good, Sean. Something's- something's wrong with me, bro." Daniel sounds legitimately worried.

"What's wrong, Daniel? You ok?" He is now. Tomorrow? That's another problem…

"No, Sean. I- I think I'm sobering up, man." Not even close, little bro. But if you say so. The alcohol begins to seriously affect Sean's judgment now. He goes into the kitchen to bring back a few things, and then… he's going to do something he swore to never do again. Not even at gunpoint.

"Eyyy, Sean?! The hell did you go, man? Is that… cocaine?" Close, but no.

"Not really, Daniel. It's just salt." Sean forgot about his emergency Tequila bottle of depression. It came in handy. He pours a shot for himself and Daniel.

"What the fuck, Daniel? No, don't drink it yet, dumbass!" Daniel already drank his shot, so Sean pours him another one.

"Hey… I'm thirsty. And call me an asshole. I mean- don't call me an asshole… I think." God, Daniel's so wasted.

"Ok, Daniel. Here's what you're gonna do. First, you snort the salt, then take these two lemons, and rub them in your eyes. Then, you drink." Was this really… a good idea? Drunk Sean said… fuck yes!

"Wuh- wait? Why would I do that, Sean?" At least it wasn't a no…

"I'm doing it too, relax." Sean doesn't feel relaxed though.

"Oh hell yeah, bro. Let's do it, woo!" The wolfbrothers snort a line of salt, rub lemons in their eyes, and take the last shot of the night.

"Dude, I- I mean seriously, dude… it- it fucking hurts, man. I- I can't see shit with my left eye. Is- is this your world, Sean? How- how do you- ow, motherfucker!" Daniel walked right into the wall.

"Maybe you should… sit down, Daniel." Sean groans in pain. Why the fuck did he do this again? His brother sits down next to him, and they both wait for the pain to go away.

"So, Daniel… how are you doing… back home?" Sean's not entirely sure why he asked. Was it to take his mind away from the pain in his eye and nose? Or maybe just because that very question had been nagging him since Daniel got here. At first, all he heard was silence. Then, Daniel sighed heavily.

"It's… horrible, Sean. I- I hate it. I live in a fucking orphanage. Everyone hates me, thinks I'm the kid that helped his brother kill a cop. I'm alone, Sean. Fucking alone and- and- wow… my eyes are like, super heavy… I think I'm just gonna… rest here… Sean." Daniel Diaz passed out drunk, in a chair, on the beach in Mexico.

"Sleep tight, bro." Sean's too drunk to process what Daniel just told him. He closes his eye and falls asleep on the spot.

The next morning, or afternoon, whatever, it's daytime at least…

Sean woke up to the sound of seagulls in the distance. He hates those screaming fuckers on a regular day, but on a hungover day, give him a sniper rifle, and he'll deal with it. He lay there for a minute or so, then he felt it. Throbbing pain in his skull. How much did he drink last night? Sean opens his eye…

"OH! Motherfucker!" He gets nearly blinded by the burning Mexican sun. But even as his eye closes, it still burns.

"Fuck, Sean. You fucking idiot. You did it again, didn't you? Why can't you ever learn shit?" He thinks to himself. Just what the actual fuck happened last night? It's not like him to drink himself to a complete blackout. He's just gonna lie here until the hangover disappears… or he dies. Yeah, that seems like a plan. But then, he heard something. Someone. A person inside his house, groaning. Like he was in a lot of pain. Immediately, Sean opened his one eye and got up.

After adjusting to the really fucking bright light, he stands up on wobbly legs and begins to follow the sound. Sean follows it to his bedroom door. Whoever's making those sounds is in there. Sean opens the door, and in less than a second he remembers everything that transpired yesterday. Now, he's got a lot more to regret than a simple Tequila suicide.

Why?

Because in Sean's bed, lies his twelve-year-old brother, very much experiencing his first hangover, in the worst possible way. The white sheets on Sean's bed are red with blood, in about a dozen places. Daniel lies on his stomach with his head hanging just slightly outside the bed. Sean could see a steady stream of blood coming from Daniel's nose.

"DANIEL?! HOLY FUCK, ARE YOU OK, MAN?!" Sean nearly panics, screaming as loud as he can.

"Ow… please, Sean. Not- not so… loud." Daniel's the exact opposite, speaking with a whisper. The young boy didn't even lift his head to look at Sean. It remained unclear if that was because he was angry, or just very tired.

"Sorry, Daniel. You- you scared me, it's all." It's like a fucking bloodbath in here… damn.

"My nose, Sean… it won't stop bleeding. Why won't it stop bleeding? And… why do my eyes hurt so much?" Shit. Sean's done his fair share of drunken mishaps over the years. Many of those he ended up regretting the next day. But this… was on a completely new level. He could literally feel his father's gaze of disapproval from heaven.

"I'm sorry, Daniel. I guess I kinda… fucked up last night." Yeah, that's putting it mildly.

"Oh yeah… I remember now. We were drinking, Sean. You got me drunk… and it was an awesome night. I had so much fun. I love you, Sean." It's not the booze talking, Daniel means what he's saying. It brings a smile to Sean's face.

"Thanks, man. I had a really good time too." Before Sean knows it, Daniel rises from his semi-dead position to standing upright.

"Really? You- you mean it, Sean?" Daniel's voice cracked like he was about to cry. A strange experience, considering how his face was covered in blood, and his clothes were covered in blood and vomit.

"Yes, Daniel. I mean it. Now, why don't you sit down a little? You don't want to rush things on your first hangover… trust me. I tried to run, and instead, I threw up all over the kitchen." Daniel looks at him confusedly.

"Why would you run if you felt like… this, Sean? God…" Well, Daniel kinda answered his own question.

"Some little asshole poked me awake with a stick, and then he yelled at me." Sean gives his brother a smug look. Daniel seems to understand who the little asshole in question was.

"Oh… sweet." Apparently, hungover Daniel is somewhat of a dick. Just because he knows Sean's not going to mess with him. Still, it's good to see that he hasn't changed. Sean sits next to his brother. Both of them hungover beyond this world. But only one of them, Daniel, was covered in blood and vomit. Still, Sean puts an arm around him as Daniel's head leans towards his shoulder.

"Is this… a hangover, Sean?" Well… he's still Daniel.

"Yep, Enano. It is. The thing with your nose and eyes… that's… something else. I'll explain later. But the rest is your first hangover." This, if anything, is a brotherly moment.

"I don't like it, Sean." You're not alone, Daniel. You're not alone. Daniel now looks right at Sean, and shit… his eyes are so red and swollen. What the hell was he thinking?

"Hey, Sean?" Daniel looks at him, sounding like he's about to say something adorable.

Nope…

Far from it.

He didn't actually say anything.

To Sean, everything happened in slow motion. He heard Daniel say his name and could see him make an adorable face. Then, he could see frame-by-frame how it happened. Daniel's eyes widening, his mouth opening, his entire body trembling.

"Shit! Wait, Daniel, wait!" Sean runs around, looking for something, anything. The trashcan will have to do. He takes it to his bedroom, setting it down on the floor. Not a moment too soon. Daniel began projectile-vomiting all over the place. Sean felt even more guilty now.

"It's ok, Enano. Just… get it all out of your system." He puts a comforting hand on Daniel's shoulder.

"Ow, Sean. It- it hurts…" God, he feels like the worst brother ever now.

"It's ok, buddy. You're gonna be just fine. I'll protect you." At least he wants to. He didn't exactly do a very good job of it last night though.

When Daniel's… finished, Sean brings out a clean set of clothes along with a towel.

"Here. Take a shower, clean yourself up. You can borrow these clothes from me. You're taller now, so they should fit." Daniel felt too bad to argue and went for the shower. In the meantime, Sean prepared a couple of detox drinks.

Coffee.

Lots and lots of coffee.

"Damn, Sean. The water's ice-cold, and you can't see shit in there." Well, it's good to see he's awake.

"Yeah, because I don't have any electricity, Daniel." His younger brother looked a bit ashamed for a second.

"Here, Enano. Drink this. You'll feel better, trust me." He gives Daniel a large cup of coffee.

"Coffee? That sucks… yuch, tastes like ass!" Another first-time drink then.

"Daniel… we… we need to talk. Sit down." Daniel's entire demeanor changed as he heard Sean say it. Almost as if he's been waiting to hear it. Or even feared it…

"Ok, Sean. I knew this wouldn't last…" Daniel sighs with a sad look on his face.

"I love having you here, Daniel. I do. But I think you understand me when I ask you… why are you here?" Daniel sat a bit more upright, taking a sip of coffee.

"I just… wanted to see you. I missed you, Sean." Daniel's not a good liar, although, Sean can tell that he's being honest about missing him.

"Daniel. Do you… remember what you told me… last night?" Obviously not, judging by his surprise.

"Uh, no. What do you mean, Sean?" Daniel sounds nervous.

"You said that you lived at a… foster home. How you hated it there. Is it true, Enano?" Sean hopes that it's not.

"Fuck…" All of a sudden, Daniel just… breaks. A flood of tears, coming from a child who sat there in silence. Sean was now starting to become really worried about his brother's situation back home.

"Talk to me, Daniel. Please…" He almost begged Daniel to open up to him.

"They- they beat me, you know. Every. Single. Day. The kids at school. The adults at home. Everyone beat me up. I tried to fight back once, but I got the blame. The next day-" Daniel's crying, so badly he can barely speak. He takes a deep breath.

"… The next day, those kids came back… with knives. I- I tried to fight back again. It's how I got… this…" Daniel bends his head down, pulling his hair back, revealing a large scar. Sean's fucking fuming. He wants to hug his little brother, his Enano, and tell him that he's safe now. But even more so, he wants to find those who have harmed Daniel, and make sure that they never do it again. For now, the first option will do.

"God, Enano. I'm so sorry, I didn't know. Come here…" Sean pulls him in, hugging him.

"You're safe now, Daniel. You're safe now." Is he though?

"I wanted to come down here last year when you turned eighteen. But they wouldn't let me. They never let me do anything, Sean. So a few weeks ago, I just… took off." At least that explains why his birthday card said "happy eighteenth birthday".

"You ran away, Daniel?" He just looks at him, nodding.

"Why didn't you get to live with our grandparents, or… mom?" It would have been a more logical option.

"Mom was cleared of all charges. I was so happy, thinking I could live with her. But… she didn't want me, Sean. My own mom… she didn't want me." Those words hurt Sean in more ways than one. He could relate to that, way too much.

"It's ok, Daniel. There's nothing wrong with you, do you hear me? She did the same thing when I was eight. It's her, not us." Daniel just nods.

"And grandma and grandpa just… refused. They didn't want me in their house. They never even said hi to me, Sean. I have nothing there. Nothing, and nobody. Just like-" Sean interrupts him like he read his mind.

"… Just like me." Neither of them has anything left in America. Nada. Nothing. Could it be…?

"So, Daniel? What's your plan, really?" Sean doubts that his brother has one.

"I'm NOT going back, Sean. No chance in hell. I'd rather die." Well, at least Sean knows what he doesn't want. As for what he wants…

"Daniel, if you want to… no pressure. You could… stay here… if you wanted to…?" Sean's entire face turns red. He feels dumb for asking. Daniel left him for the sole reason of not wanting to live here. Why the hell would that have changed?

"Oh my god, Sean! Do you mean it?! Thank you, thank you, thank you so much! I love you, Sean! We're gonna have so much fun here, I just know it!" Daniel embraces his big brother tightly. Sean feels like a massive weight has just been lifted from his back.

"Sure I mean it, Daniel. It's- it's awesome that you… want to live with me." Sean wipes a few tears without Daniel noticing. There is, however, one thing that's still bothering him.

"Daniel, I- I gotta know, man. How did you get here?" The excitement of his little brother disappeared immediately. Instead, he nervously looked down at the floor, as if he was ashamed of something.

"I- I- uh…" This… can never be good.

"It's alright, Daniel. Take your time. I won't judge you." But he's clearly, anything but alright.

"… Ok. I- I had to get money for a bus ticket. So I- I- I…" He can't even say it? What the fuck…? Sean puts his hands on Daniel's shoulders.

"Daniel. I need to know. What… did you do, Enano?" Daniel still doesn't look him in the eye.

"I- I did some… favors. To an older guy. I- I just tried to not think about… how much it hurt, Sean." WHAT. THE. HELL?!

No!

Please god, no!

The horror.

Was Daniel so desperate to see him, that he did… stuff… to get here? Just the thought of it is too much to handle for Sean. He falls to his knees, throwing up on the floor, crying, and screaming out his pain.

He swore to protect Daniel.

He failed.

Miserably.

"Sean…?" He could feel Daniel's hand on his shoulder. He can't look at his little brother, knowing what he's been through.

"I'm… so… sorry… Daniel." Sean says between his sobs.

"Sean… I'm just fucking with you, bro!" Ok, what?!

"Wha- what?!" Sean doesn't understand. What is he talking about?

"I didn't do any of that shit, dude. I just stole some money from my foster parents, and used it to buy a bus ticket here." Oh, thank god. But…

"Why…?" Sean only managed to say one word. A combination of joy, sadness, anger, and relief.

"Consider us even, Sean. That's for getting me to snort salt so I got a fucking nosebleed, and for rubbing lemons in my eyes. Asshole…" Daniel says every word with a smile on his face. This shows that twelve-year-old Daniel Diaz is not a creature one would want to underestimate.

"You- you fucking… brat!" Sean lunged at Daniel, and for less than a millisecond, he planned on hitting him. Instead, he ended up hugging him.

"I love you, Daniel. It's gonna be great having you here. No more drinking though." Yeah, time to be a role model again.

"I love you too, Sean. And don't worry, I don't want to drink again, ever. I missed you, big brother." The wolfbrothers embrace one another, as they both realize that once again, their entire lives have changed overnight. Perhaps this time, it was for the better…?

Notes:

This one turned out... different, to put it mildly. At first, I planned an emotional reunion between the wolfbrothers. In the end, they end up doing a Tequila suicide, but oh well...

The idea of Sean letting Daniel drink is that Sean's so miserable that he's forgotten who he really is, and is so desperate to just have a good time, that it doesn't sound like a bad thing in his mind. Then... stuff happens.

2022-03-06: Originally, I began this series for short, one-chapter fics. However, my fics have become longer and longer, and I really enjoy writing long stories.

It doesn't mean that this series is discontinued/finished. However, as of now, it's on a hold until further notice. My writing on the other hand, continues.

Chapter 14: Obituary

Summary:

Daniel writes a letter to his deceased brother. Lone Wolf ending.

Notes:

A huge shoutout to ShawnRust for the idea, and for motivating me in general.

...bro;)

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Tijuana, Mexico – August 15th, 2018…

The bright Mexican sun seared even hotter than usual today. In these times, most people would choose to remain indoors when given the option to avoid the painful heat. One person, however, did not…

Along the beach walked a lone child. An orphan without a name, family, or home. Severely malnourished, too tall for his shorts, no shoes in the scorching sand, and a torn t-shirt with the writing "Space Mission To Puerto Lobos" on it. His hair was dark and dirty, and his face showed no emotions. Almost like the boy was just an empty shell of a human being.

In many ways, that's what he would consider himself to be. But now, however, he's on a mission. Today, Sean would have turned eighteen years old. He would have…

Daniel Diaz doesn't even try to fight the pain anymore. He decides that this place would have to do. It's remote enough, and no people seem to be around. He sits down in the scorching sand, not bothered by the pain it causes him. Pain is his life now. All day. Every day.

Daniel reaches into his backpack, taking out what few possessions he's got. A few pencils, Sean's journal, the Puerto Lobos lighter, and a submarine toy he stole from Chris, his only true friend. Just thinking about it hurts in ways he can't even begin to describe, but Daniel must do this. He needs to do this. To avoid looking at his brother's art, he opens the journal from the opposite end and picks an empty page. Then, Daniel writes to his brother…

"Hello, Sean. It's me. Daniel. Enano." Already he could feel how his hands began to shake, but dammit, he will not cry.

"I just wanted to say happy birthday. And tell you that I miss you, Sean. I miss you so much." Shit, this was a mistake. It's stupid. Why is he even doing this? Sean can't hear him. He can't hear him because he's dead! The realization hits Daniel like a freight train, and he suddenly knew the one thing he truly wanted to say to his brother.

"I'm sorry, Sean. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" The fateful day flashes before his eyes yet again. And with it, the emotions he felt at the time. The shock when Sean wanted to surrender, was quickly followed by anger, panic, and then, determination. Moments later, a euphoric joy filled every part of his body as he realized they did it. But Sean didn't respond to his outburst of joy. Sean died a mere seconds later because of Daniel's foolish actions at the border.

"It's my fault, Sean. All of it. If it wasn't for me… you would still be alive. Dad too. Mom would never have left, and you would all be happier without me. Stop it, Sean! Don't say that because you know it's true!" Daniel almost smiled as he did his best to imagine his older brother looking at him for saying such a stupid thing. Daniel, however, did not think of it as stupid these days. To him, it was facts.

"I don't know where you are now, Sean, but-" Daniel paused for a moment as he braised himself for what he knew would be difficult. A lot has happened over the past year that he's been trying to just forget.

"But I hope it's better than this place." He could not hold back the tears any longer as he let all the horrifying memories come back.

"You promised me safety and freedom in Puerto Lobos, Sean. You didn't make it there, but guess what? Neither did I." The guilt hits him like a ton of bricks as he remembers the most difficult choice of his entire life. The way Daniel saw things in the immediate aftermath, he had three options.

Give Sean a proper burial on the very spot he died on. It would be a last show of respect, however, it would take time, and he would have to dig with his bare hands. Also, he would likely be arrested by the authorities while doing so. And even if he wasn't, he would've wasted a lot of water. This option just wasn't possible.

He could also take the easy way out. With nothing left to live for, why not stay there with the one person who made you feel safe in life? The wolf brothers would live together, and die together. This, however, would mean that Sean's death would've been for nothing. A sacrifice in vain. So Daniel went with the last, and most painful option…

Leaving his brother behind. Without a burial or anything. He hated himself for it, but he did what he had to do.

"I'm so sorry for leaving you there, Sean. I didn't want to. I thought I could find my way to Puerto Lobos, but I can't do shit here, Sean. I can't do anything. It's been a year, and I still can't speak Spanish. I don't know anyone or anything. I wish you were here with me. I'm scared, Sean." Daniel paused to briefly let his fingers touch the side of his face. The scar is still fresh.

"I'm scared because I don't like the person I'm becoming here. I have to do horrible things to just survive, and I'm not even sure if I want to survive anymore. Please, Sean, help me… what's the point of living when you can't feel alive anymore?" The boy looked down at his hands while thinking about his so-called power. Chris looked up to him because of them, and even called him a superhero. Sean encouraged him to use them, getting himself killed in the end.

Daniel doesn't call it a power anymore. He sees it as a curse. A plague even.

"Like- it's so easy to steal stuff with my powe- you know? But I don't wanna use that anymore because I'm turning into a bad person and it scares me. But if I don't do it, I starve to death, Sean. I haven't eaten in forever." He remembered the days when he would complain about ravioli. Oh, what he wouldn't give now for just one small can of ravioli…

"So you're wondering how I get by, huh? Yeah, I can't get a job cuz I'm a kid. I've had to do some stuff I'm not proud of though. No big deal. Take package A, and deliver to location B without ever looking inside. Probably just drugs or some shit, I dunno." Daniel sighed. He tried to make it sound like no big deal. The reality, however, was much different. He was so scared that when refused payment, he simply nodded and ran away in tears.

"I hate it here, Sean. I hate it." He can't hold it in anymore.

"I hate this shitty town, I hate the language I can't even fucking speak cuz dad taught you but never cared enough to teach me. I hate how alone I am, the misery I've caused to my loved ones, how can't use my arm cuz I've been shot TWICE, and I hate the constant pain that is my life." Daniel ignores the flowing tears as he continues to put his emotions into words.

"I hate you, Sean. I hate you for filling my head with lies about a future I could never have." As painful as those words are, they are indeed true.

"But most of all… I hate myself. I hate myself for believing your lies, and I hate myself because I have no right to be angry at you, Sean, not after everything you did for me. But I can't help it, Sean. You lied to me. This isn't paradise. It's hell. This is hell, and I'm living it. But I deserve it." The boy tried his best to remember the good time back in Seattle.

"I wish I appreciated you more in Seattle, Sean. I miss our home so much. How we would watch scary movies, and whenever I was too scared to watch, you would always say you were bored and suggest we watch something else. You did it because you didn't want to embarrass me, Sean. I miss shit like that. I miss everything about our lives. But-" He takes a deep breath before writing his final words.

"I miss you more than anyone else, Sean. I wish I died instead of you because I have nothing left. Nothing." A deep sigh as the boy prepares his goodbye.

"Please Sean, forgive me don't forgive me. I don't deserve it. I love you, Sean. /Enano"

Daniel looks at the words he just wrote, attempting to decipher his emotions at the moment. Did it help at all, or did it just make things worse?

"You're not here…" The boy silently sobs while flipping through his brother's sketchbook. Tears are pouring down his face, and his body's trembling.

"You're… gone. Dead." A slightly louder sob this time.

"I- I killed you, Sean. I killed you." The realization wasn't something new to Daniel, however, he's spent the last year attempting to bury it in the deepest depths of his memory banks. Now, when saying it out loud, it felt real. Very real.

Too real…

He felt like throwing up as his breaths became erratic. Randomized memories, neither of them good, flashed in front of him. Nicholas beating up Sean, Mushroom getting mauled by the cougar, waking up after the heist to find Sean impaled in the eye by a shard of glass.

"No- no- stop, please…" Coming clean to Sean didn't help. It made everything a million times worse. Daniel believed that by feeling closer to his lost brother, he would in time, feel better. Since that had the exact opposite effect, there's only one thing left to do.

He closed the journal as respectfully as he could before walking towards the ocean. The water felt good on his feet and legs. At least that's what Daniel Diaz would've said. But he's not here now. Daniel Diaz died at the border with his brother on that fateful day. His body lived on, but his spirit is forever broken beyond repair and recognition.

"I'm sorry, Sean. But I think it's better if I just…" He can't even say it without his voice breaking.

"If I just… forget about you. Goodbye, wolf brother." Daniel knew he owed it to Sean to at least do a wolf howl, but he just didn't have it in him anymore. He proceeded to use his powers to send his brother's journal far out to sea, along with all other personal possessions. He watched in pain as the one thing he adored, the one thing he had left from his brother, disappear into the horizon. Then, he went back to sit down in the burning sand.

Seconds become minutes…

Minutes become hours…

Daniel didn't move an inch.

Then, from out of nowhere, he burst into tears. Silent, painful sobs, telling him his worst fear has come true. He made another mistake. This wouldn't help him either. He's still haunted by his past, terrified of his future, and suicidal about his present. There's no way around it. This is who he is now. Destined to roam the streets of Mexico until the day he dies. Nobody will miss him and nobody will ever care for him.

The Wolf brothers died on July 4th, 2017.

In nearby Tijuana, Mexico, however…

A lone wolf was born.

Notes:

This is a little something I did as an attempt to try and get back into writing again. It's been difficult for a long time, and I'm aware that my other works are long overdue for an update COUGH COUGH, Chaos Theory COUGH COUGH.

I'm currently at home for a minimum of two weeks with a fractured ankle, so we'll see what happens. The heart is willing, but the mind is not (or something, I dunno).

I tried showcasing here what it could look like if Daniel could talk to Sean in the LW ending. He's obviously full of guilt, but also anger because Sean made him believe they would live like kings when he's now in a living hell. Also, I took some liberties with the location, and a few other things because that's me.

Daniel throwing his belongings at the end shows that no matter what he does, he can never escape his past, nor will he be able to forget it. Not even if he tries.

Anyway, please leave a comment below.

Enjoy!

K. S.

You cannot escape it.
Who you are.
What you did.
The people you killed.

Pretend if you want.
Be a child.
Be a victim.
Be Enano.

It matters not.
They look at you.
And they see only...
A monster.

The question is...
...what do you see?

Chapter 15: Despair

Summary:

Sean writes a letter to his younger brother on his 11th birthday, and the results are not as expected.

Notes:

Yeah, I know... I haven't forgotten about Chaos Theory.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Puerto Lobos, Mexico – April 11th, 2018…

Late in the afternoon, a young man could be seen entering a run-down house on the outskirts of the city. A house most people thought to be abandoned because it barely remained standing. The man in question wore a hoodie to keep his face hidden from view, however, people would say that he only had one eye. Others would say that he wore an eye patch. Into the house, he carried a small plastic bag of cheap beer along with a can of ravioli.

The man in question was Sean Diaz.

"Fuck…" Sean sighed as he put the contents of the bag on the remains of the old kitchen table. His dinner today would be one can of ravioli and a six-pack of beer. He really should get his priorities straight. Then again, for what purpose? Does he even have a purpose anymore?

"Hah…" Sean tries to laugh it off before opening his first beer of the night. His old journal lies on the table along with a pencil which reminds him of today's date, and what he swore to do when he got to it.

"Shit…" Today, his little brother turns eleven years old. It's been almost a year now since they… parted ways.

"I'm sorry, Sean. But I have to go. Please, don't come back for me." The words echoed in Sean's head as he drowned them in a few chugs of beer.

"Shit… I guess it's time to do this." Sean opens his journal for the first time in almost a year. He opens the ravioli can, grabs his second beer of the night, and then… starts writing to Daniel.

"Hi, Daniel." Just writing his name hurts even deeper than he could have imagined. Sean drinks some more to numb the pain, and raise his spirits.

"Happy birthday, little brother." Sean's lips twitche into what resembles a smile for a split-second.

"I wanted to call you, but-" Sean paused to take a look around the house. His father must be rolling over in his grave.

"But I don't have a goddamn phone, you know?" He feels so cut off from the rest of the world. Mom, Lyla, Claire, and Stephen- he knows their phone numbers. Hell, when it comes to Lyla, he also knows her email, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and Skype. Although, he wished he never knew the latter of those. Still, none of that matters now since he can't contact anyone without knowing their physical address.

"But enough about me, dude. How are you? I'm sending this to Claire and Stephen since you're probably staying with them now. At least I hope you are." What if he's not? Sean thinks back to one of the very first days they were on the run. Before Daniel even knew their father was dead.

"No way they're putting us in foster care." Sean had told himself. Maybe foster care wouldn't have been so bad as long as they were together. The thought of Daniel alone in a foster home with nobody who understands him for who he is?

"No. It's not happening." Sean denies any chance of that ever happening while finishing his second beer before immediately opening his third one.

"How's Chris? I bet he's glad to have you back, huh? It's good for you both to have a friend to talk to." Sean's doing his best to avoid the elephant in the room, however, the beer is starting to show its effect.

"What happened to us, man? We were the wolf brothers, and now… we're not even brothers." He knew this would happen someday. One way or the other, he knew it would happen.

"My entire life, since I was seven years old, I have done nothing but look after you, take care of you, protect you, and love you. When Dad died, I felt lost. But the one thing that kept me going was you. I did everything I could to protect you from the evils of this world, and I failed." Sean drinks to erase the image of Lisbeth from his memory banks.

"But I never gave up on you. I walked through the desert for you, but never even thought about quitting. So why did you quit on me… Daniel?" Writing his little brother's name again felt like a knife to the heart. Still, Sean had no intentions to stop.

"We weren't near the finish line. Hell, we weren't crossing it, Daniel. We've already crossed it when you decided to bail on me. Just like that. Your own brother. No warning, no excuses, nothing. Why… Daniel? Just… why?" Sean tries to hold back his tears with a little help from empty beer can number three.

"Fuck, dude. You should stop this. Right now. Stop." Sean mumbles to himself. He knows that whatever he's doing right now won't get him to any good place. But he needs to get this out of his system, one way or the other.

The fourth beer silences any thoughts about stopping.

"We had it, man. Right there. But you ditched me. Your own brother. I did everything for you- I gave everything for you, and you spat me in the face like that." Sean takes a moment to scratch his eye. A constant reminder of the sacrifices he made that would end up being for absolutely nothing.

"I only have one eye. My ribs constantly hurt because they never healed properly after Haven Point, and I'm a wanted man. Wanted, for something we both know that I did not commit… Daniel." Sean always pushed back his frustration with Daniel when they were on the road, but now, it all hits him with full force.

Daniel's the guilty party in all of this. From the very start. Daniel went outside when he knew he wasn't allowed to, and that ended up getting their father killed. Daniel, accidentally or not, did kill that cop, and that's what caused Sean to run away with him. If it wasn't for his younger brother, Sean would still be living an ordinary life in Seattle.

"Daniel… you ruined me." Sean's lost count of how many beers he's gone through, but the damage is about to be done. Sean Diaz puts his anger, his sadness, and his pain into words, knowing it is highly unlikely his brother will ever read them.

"I did all I could to keep us safe, you know. And what did you do? You ran off to the nearest neighbor with his drunken dad, desperate to show off. We had a job, we earned money. But you, you got us fired. And then, you go on that stupid fucking heist, ending up blinding me on the way-" Sean stops for a moment as tears begin to pour from one eye and one empty eye socket.

"So thanks a lot for that, little brother. I can't even fucking draw anymore, thanks to you." That's a partial truth at best, and Sean knows it. He can draw, but the inspiration is just dead.

"And now, I'm stuck here. In a shitty house, in a shitty town, filled with shitty people, and shitty everything. Whatever your reasons were for leaving, Daniel, I hope it was worth it. I really hope it was." Sean takes a breather before finishing off the beer in his hand, only to realize it was already empty. He's quickly losing track of things at this pace.

Sean wonders in his drunken state how he should finish the letter off. His emotions regarding Daniel are mixed, to say the least. But alcohol tends to bring out the brutal honesty in most people. Usually, that's not of the good kind.

"Happy birthday, Daniel. I wish you were fucking dead." Sean writes the sentence in a moment of disgusting honesty and pain, only to instantly regret his actions, and draw a line over it.

"No, no, no- I'm sorry, I'm sorry…" This isn't who he is. He would never want something bad to happen to his little brother. Sure, what happened at the border did hurt, but maybe Daniel had his reasons. Maybe he did get a better life in America than he would have gotten here.

Sean sighs in defeat.

Drunk or not, he's smart enough to know that this would be the case. In a way, he always knew it. It's just that the truth hurt so much, and by the look of things, he needed a moment of drunken clarity to realize it. Feeling slightly refreshed, Sean writes a new line, replacing the crossed-out one.

"Happy 11th birthday, Daniel. I love you so much, and you will always be my Enano." As he wrote the final word, Sean could feel how something broke inside him. Taking the letter in his hand, he went outside to get some air. In times like these, a smoke is good to calm his nerves. Sean reaches into his pockets, grabbing a cigarette and the lighter his father once gave to him.

Inhaling some smoke, however, did little to calm him down. No, the problem was something else. Someone else.

Daniel.

The pain of betrayal strikes again, and it strikes hard, and it strikes permanently. Sean takes the letter to Daniel in one hand while holding the lighter in the other. The part reading "I love you so much" is hanging right above an open flame as Sean watches on with zero emotion.

"Fuck you, Daniel. You're not my brother anymore. You are dead to me." Sean said in both silence and spite before igniting the letter in flames. Then, he went back inside without ever looking back.

Meanwhile, in Beaver Creek…

"I'm sorry, dear. I- I don't think he's going to call." Claire could be very cold sometimes, but when it came to this topic, she always approached it with caution.

"No. Don't say that. He's my brother. He's gonna call any minute." His mind in a state of deep denial, Daniel kept waiting for that one phone call. The phone call from Sean. He just wanted to hear his voice and be called "Enano" again.

"Daniel…" Stephen tries this time.

"You have guests waiting for you downstairs. They're here for your party. Karen even got a few hours of freedom to come here. I know you want him to call, but- don't you think you should come down and try to enjoy your birthday now?" Daniel looks at his grandparents. He knew this wasn't them asking him as much as them telling him to do it. Telling him to forget about the brother he left on an impulse, and ended up regretting it more than anything in his entire life.

"Fine…" Daniel sighs in defeat as he follows his grandparents downstairs. He feels dead inside. Completely numb. And people expect him to just move on. How can he even do that?

Maybe he can't.

He does wonder though, during those sleepless nights if life in Puerto Lobos might have been just as cool as Sean said it would be.

"We'll live as king, man." Sean had told him. That's probably what he does now. At least that's what Daniel likes to imagine.

Sean.

In Puerto Lobos.

Living like a king.

Notes:

I randomly found the first half of this on my HDD today. I completely forgot I even had it, so I decided to finish it, and considering how I've barely written anything this year, the result is decent. This is basically how I view the Parting Ways ending. Neither brother is happy, and Sean is at an all-time low with nobody there to support him.

Now, I'm aware of the fact that I last updated something a very long time ago. This has nothing to do with me not wanting to, but more with me not having "the strength" to do so. I have NOT forgotten about Chaos Theory, you have my word on that. It's just that the last year hasn't been kind to me, in more ways than one.

Anyway, please leave a comment below.

Enjoy!

K.S.

This is it.
You're all alone now.
You have nobody.
And nothing.

You gave all.
You lost all.
You had a brother.
You lost a brother.

Now...

This is the remains.
You're beaten.
Broken.
Mentally.
Physically.

How long can you keep this up?
How long...
Before the reaper of grim catches you?

Chapter 16: Deranged

Summary:

Here, we get a glimpse into the mind of a very depressed Daniel Diaz.

Notes:

In this chapter, Esteban survives the shooting, and Daniel doesn't have any powers.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Seattle, 2017…

Daniel Diaz entered his room, closing the door behind him. He sighed deeply with the realization that this day would be just like yesterday. And the day before that, and the day before that. Another day of sitting around in silence, in loneliness, without anyone caring.

Well, that's not entirely true though. Some people do care about him, and deep inside, the boy knows that. However, things aren't what they used to be. Sean, his brother, is more busy than ever with his friends, barely acknowledging his younger brother. Their father, Esteban, was never the same after the incident last year when a cop almost killed him. It was a traumatic experience for the whole family.

Daniel, however, got left behind.

He felt that he got most of the blame for what happened that day. Sure, he's aware that he did something wrong, he never denied it, but what about Sean? Sean's the reason he went outside in the first place. His brother started the fight that caused the cop to intervene, and eventually, shoot their father in the shoulder.

"Fuck…" Daniel mumbles to himself. He knows he shouldn't bury himself in this. It's been almost a year. People have moved on, and so should he. So why can't he? Why can't he just move on like everyone else?

Is it because of the year-long trauma that nobody helped him work through? Or maybe the fact that he's spent his whole life blaming himself in secret for their mother leaving the family? Perhaps it is the crippling loneliness, that causes him to sometimes go days without saying more than one or two words?

It's really hard to pick just one.

He feels like the world is unfair to him. It gives him something great, allowing him to enjoy it, and get used to it, only to rip it away from him forever.

Lyla Park is one of those things.

A best friend to Sean for as long as anyone could remember, Daniel's seen her regularly for his entire life. When Daniel was around five years old, Esteban hired Lyla to babysit Daniel whenever Sean had to practice with his track team.

Those were some of the best days of his life. Lyla became like an older sister to him, and he became a little brother to her. He trusted her with some of his most inner secrets, some of which he never even told Sean about. Meanwhile, Lyla would spoil him with gifts, movie nights, and awesomeness in general.

Until she didn't…

Daniel still doesn't know the details because nobody ever tells him anything, but after the shooting, Lyla asked Sean what happened. Their father was, at this point, in the hospital, but conscious and alright, meaning the worst phase had passed. One way or the other, an argument ensued between the two, and Daniel overheard Lyla being pissed about him starting the fight.

That's the last time he ever saw her.

He lost a sister, a friend, and a role-model even. It broke him even further. And his brother? He didn't seem to care much.

"No, stop. Just- stop." Once more, Daniel tries to rid himself of the dangerous mindset he's about to spiral into. He knows that if there's one person on this planet that cares about him, it's Sean. That's just a simple fact. Daniel knows this. Lately, however, Sean's done a piss-poor job at showing it.

Daniel misses the days when Sean would knock on his door, and just ask him what was up, and if he wanted to do something later. Small things like that. Or maybe just an occasional hug here or an "Enano" there…

"But you're never here anymore, Sean. Nobody is." It's just himself, and to be perfectly honest, he's uncertain if he counts. He already knows, at least to some extent, how others feel about him. How they blame him for what happened to his father. To some extent, they're right. But the fault wasn't just on him that day. People, however, love to blame others. In this case, they blame Daniel. Sometimes to his face, sometimes behind his back.

His fault or not, if he could rewind time he would do it. Make sure none of this ever happened. But he can't. The last year hasn't been good to him at all. He's lost all his friends due to nobody wanting anything to do with an unstable child like him. His father's getting more and more isolated since the incident, and can barely support the family. And as if that's not bad enough, his brother stopped paying attention to him.

He's got no one.

He's got no one, and everyone believes he's only got himself to blame.

"I'm- I'm sorry, okay?" Daniel collapses to the floor, burying his face in the palm of his hands. He cries. Daniel cries because he's sorry. And he's very sorry.

He's sorry for the pain he caused to those he cared about.

He's sorry for the damage he caused to his family and former friends.

Daniel Diaz is sorry for many things.

Most of all, however, he cries because he feels pain. An invisible, yet very deep, emotional pain. The pain comes from people laughing at him, pointing fingers, calling him names that echo in his mind to this day. It is the pain of not being listened to by those whom he thought he could trust. Friends and family alike.

"I can't do this shit anymore… I- I just can't." Too often nowadays, his mind goes to a very dark place that hosts some very dark thoughts. Sometimes, he just feels… done. It would be so simple. A few seconds of pain, and then he would be free. He's still clear enough to realize just how messed up those thoughts are though. Still, they're getting more and more common, and more detailed.

It scares him, but he's got nobody to go to for comfort anymore. All he can do to get any sort of comfort is to grab an old frame from his desktop. Inside it, there are four different photographs.

The first one depicts himself, his father, and his brother. It's not a very special picture really. They're just being a normal family in the living room. Esteban sits in the armchair, casually reading a book. On the couch, however, is Sean and Daniel. Sean sits to the far left of the couch, resting his left arm on the side. His right arm, however, is wrapped around his younger brother while the latter sleeps soundly and safely. These were happier times, indeed.

The second photo depicts Daniel and another boy named Noah. They used to be best friends. Since Daniel's a few months older than him, he always felt like he had his own "Enano" in a way. He tried to come up with a different nickname though, but he was never as good at it as Sean. Noah stopped hanging out with him after Daniel got an official reputation at school as "The Mad Mexican" for almost getting his father killed and getting a cop sent to prison for life. The fact that Noah's father's a cop probably didn't help matters either. Still, Daniel misses the times they had together, even if he looks at the photo with mixed emotions.

Number three. He can't look at it without crying. Granted, at this point, he already cried, so it didn't matter much. It's a picture of himself and Lyla. They're not doing anything in particular, except just standing there. On the same spot, his father would later be shot at. Lyla stands behind him, arms wrapped around him in a tight hug. Meanwhile, Daniel smiles so wide one would think his jaw would break. He felt so happy then.

The last picture is probably the most painful one. It is, however, the most important one of them all. Three people are on it. Daniel can't remember ever meeting any of them, even though he has. Stephen, Claire, and Karen Reynolds. His grandfather, his grandmother, and… his mother. Neither of them cares about him in the slightest. Why would they? He's the reason Karen left. Still, he treasures this picture since it's the only thing he has of his mother. He both loves it and hates it.

These things usually provide Daniel with enough comfort to get through the day. Now, however, it serves only as a reminder. A reminder of the good times that used to be, but will never return. A reminder of the people he never had, and the people he lost because they saw him as something he's not.

"It's not who I am. It's- it's not." The boy whimpers in despair, desperately clutching the photo frame. It doesn't matter what he does or doesn't, what he says or doesn't. People have made up their minds.

So who's he trying to convince?

Himself?

Or…

The people?

Maybe if he just accepts that the things people say about him are true, he would have an easier time. At least in school. Daniel takes a moment to consider the idea in its entirety. He lets the words run through his mind once more. The name-calling, the accusations, everything.

He's a liar, a hypocrite, a criminal, a danger to society, a freak-

"Fuck!" No. He can't do this. He'd rather die than admit to being something he's not. It's not who he is. But the bottled-up emotions are building from within. A year's worth of trauma from the shooting plus a lifetime of trauma courtesy of his mother, finally makes him snap.

"FUUUCK!" Daniel screams as he takes the glass frame in his hand, launching it across the room, and straight into the wall, shattering it into pieces. He crawls into a fetal position on the floor, sobbing out his pain. He's got nothing left to live for, but he can't end his life either. What the fuck is even the meaning of things?

For him, maybe there is no meaning. Perhaps, this is how his life is supposed to be. Living alone, in silence, in pain, silently watching the happy people come and go. Everyone seems better off without him anyway, at least that's how he feels right now. He's not meant to have friends, nor does he deserve to be happy.

No.

Daniel Felipe Diaz shall spend the rest of his life alone, remembered only for the mistakes he made in the past.

At this point, he's not sure if he even cares. Sometimes, life can be cruel to the living.

However…

Daniel wonders if it's equally cruel in the afterlife.

Notes:

This is the first thing I've written from start to finish in almost 6 months, so be aware that the quality might lack a bit. I'm trying to find my way back to things.

I hope this is passable, and if so, enjoy!

Feel free to comment below.

K.S.

Alone.
Destined for nothing.
Cast out from society.
Even deemed unfit.

Hated.
Despised.
Beaten.
Bullied.

All of this.
It is you.
And you still ask yourself...

Why?