A Small Cub In A New Land

Svenne14

Summary:

Daniel wakes up, the day after burying his brother's corpse. How will his first day in Puerto Lobos look like?

Notes:

Any Spanish is translated using Google Translate. So, be nice...

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

The next morning…

When Daniel woke up, it was already daytime. The first thing he felt was the sun, burning him to death where he was. Shit, it really was hot here.

"Maybe I should go to the ocean? Cool down a little… yeah, that sounds nice." The little cub didn't remember everything yet. He just woke up.

"Uhh… Sean, can we go swim-" He opened his eyes. Now, he remembered. He remembered… everything. His brother's words at the border, wanting to surrender. Daniel being the massive fuck-up that he is, doing the opposite. And then…

He died.

Sean died.

And Daniel buried him.

It all came back. Tears began pouring down his face. Daniel looked towards… that spot. Where Sean lies. He's not ready for any of this. How the fuck is he supposed to survive her without Sean? Does he even… want to? Daniel feels weak, so weak, and useless. He crawls to Sean's grave, carefully hugging the blue cross. His bare knees touching the sand, still red from his older brother's blood.

Right now, it doesn't matter. He's not sure if anything will ever matter again. At this point, he would not be afraid of death if he saw it. Daniel would run towards it, treating it as an old friend. He had nothing left. Nothing and no one. Daniel lies down, letting his forehead touch the sand at the spot he knows Sean's head is at. It's the closest he's going to get now.

"I'm so sorry, Sean. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'M SORRY!" Daniel screams out his sorrows, begging for someone, anyone, to comfort him. But nobody does. Nobody cares. Daniel Diaz isn't even worth helping anymore. People nearby… just keep walking, like he doesn't even exist. Very different, compared to… back then. When they walked towards Beaver Creek, hungry, dirty, and Daniel being sick. People looked at them, whispering to each other, wondering why a small child is outside looking like that. Some, even asked if they needed help. But things were… different, back then.

Sean was still alive.

And Daniel… he was still a kid. A sad one, but still… a kid. That sweet, innocent kid inside him is now dead. That part of him could have been saved at the border if he didn't fuck it all up. Instead, the shattered remains of Daniel Diaz's innocence died at the border. Along with his big brother. Gone is the cute and adorable child, begging his older brother to give him the last Chock-O-Crisp. Taking its place is a different form of Daniel. A form where he's plagued by guilt, due to him blaming himself for everything that happened. Himself, and no one else.

"Help me, Sean… please. I- I need you… help…" Daniel lies down, crying loudly. No point in hiding it. Besides, even if he tried to, he would fail. Just like he failed everything else.

"¡Hola!" A voice behind him said. Daniel turned around immediately, ready to attack. But not sure why, since he doesn't have anything left to live for. It's probably just out of… habit. He lowered his guard somewhat as he saw the person standing behind him. A young boy, about the same age as himself, looking curiously at him. Daniel stands up but keeps his eyes on the ground.

"te ves triste." The boy says, and Daniel again is reminded of how fucked he truly is. He's got no fucking clue what this kid is saying.

"Umm… me no habla Español?" Daniel manages to say, but it sounds… ridiculous.

"Oh, it's ok. I can speak English too. I said you look sad. Are you… alright?" How the fuck can anyone ask him that these days? No, he's not fucking alright. And he won't ever be alright again. Daniel shakes his head.

"Do you wanna… talk about it? It helps, you know." The boy sits down in the sand in front of him. Daniel feels a bit… uneasy. Sure, it's just a kid. But why is he so nice? To Daniel of all people?

"Why- why should I trust you? I don't know you. I- I don't even know your name." Daniel looks down on the boy.

"You're right. I'm… sorry. I just… don't meet many other kids here. It's… lonely." The boy looks sad, Daniel sits down facing him.

"I- I'm… sorry. I'm Daniel…" Just telling someone his name felt… like a weight disappearing.

"Hi, Daniel. I'm Esteban." Oh, no. Granted, it might be a common name in Mexico, but how great were the odds? The kid's got the same name as Daniel's father. Esteban. As he let that fact sink in, Daniel felt his entire body trembling.

"Daniel? What's wrong?" The boy named Esteban asks. Daniel can only whisper in response.

"Sorry, sorry, sorry…" Tears are pouring down his entire face.

"Hey… it's- it's ok, Daniel. Come here…" His new friend slowly puts his arms around him, hugging him. Call it fate or whateverthefuck, but Daniel's mind snapped. It's a sign.

"I'm so sorry, dad! For everything! I- I got Sean killed, I fucked up, and I'm sorry dad… I'm so fucking sorry!" He embraced his new friend as tight as he possibly could. Then, Daniel apologized. Over and over again, to what he so desperately wanted to believe was his father as a child. The young Esteban only hugged him back, whispering words of comfort. For a short while, everything felt so much better.

"Vamos, amigos! Tómalo todo!" Esteban shouted something in Spanish and immediately let go of Daniel, the latter of them turning around.

No.

… no.

… why?

Daniel looks at the scene behind him, completely frozen. Not because he's afraid. But because he, once again realized just how lost he truly is here. Behind him was a small gang, consisting of street kids ages eight to twelve. There were about ten of them, most of them looting Karen's car completely empty. The rest of them, scrapping whatever leftovers Daniel had on the ground. His sleeping bag and… Sean's backpack. The kid named Esteban had just been a distraction. He was no friend, he never was. A few days ago, Daniel would have just used his powers to make them fly somewhere. Perhaps, way out in the sea. However, now he completely forgets about his powers. He doesn't even feel angry. Just… sad, and let down. Daniel turns back to Esteban.

"Wh- why…? Why…?" Daniel says silently, eyes red with tears. He thought that he found a friend… a friend that truly would care for him, at this time of need.

"Ir a casa americano. Tu no eres bienvenido aqui." Esteban's tone completely changes, now full of anger and hate, instead of care and comfort. Daniel sees a brief flash and feels a very sharp pain in his face. Esteban had pulled out a switchblade, cutting him on his cheek, causing Daniel to fall to the ground. As he turns around, he can see Esteban run around a corner, disappearing for good. And with him, his little gang. And with them… everything.

All the food in the car, enough to feed both him and Sean for weeks or Daniel for over a month?

Gone!

All the water?

Gone!

Clean clothes?

Gone!

Camping gear and sleeping bag?

Gone!

And worst of all… Sean's backpack. And with it, everything… literally everything he had left from his brother. There was a photo of dad there. Sean's ID, containing the only photo of him Daniel would ever have. And, fuck… the sketchbook. The fucking sketchbook… upon realizing that all he's got left is an empty car and the clothes he's wearing, Daniel falls to his knees.

"AAAAAAAAH!" He screams. Then, the little wolf takes a deep breath. And screams again, and again, and again. He trusted someone. He went with his gut and lost what little he had left.

"I- I won't trust anyone… ever again, Sean. You're gone. The wolfbrothers are dead. I'm a lone wolf now. I have to make it… on my own, just me." Daniel had been so busy talking to his dead brother, he never noticed someone approaching him.

"What's going on, little on?" Daniel snaps back to the real world, terrified of meeting another human being. He falls backward and desperately tries to crawl away, using his hands and feet. All this, while simultaneously looking at the old woman approaching him. She was definitely a nun, that much he could tell. A warning sign, considering Daniel's past in Haven Point. Still, nuns are… kind, caring, and… comforting. Right?

"I heard you screaming, little one. And… your face. You're bleeding." Daniel completely forgot about the knife wound. He briefly lets his hand touch his face and-holy-fucking-shit, yes. Yes, he really is bleeding. Daniel still hasn't said anything. The woman, easily in her late seventies, slowly walks closer to him.

"Don't- don't come any closer!" Within a second, Daniel's standing up. He wants to believe that this woman is good, that she truly wants to help him. But he trusted one person already, and look where that got him. He lost Sean's stuff and got a cut in the face.

"It's ok, my child. I can help you. The lord helps all those in need." No. No, he doesn't.

"Please, just- don't… come any closer…" Daniel raises his right arm in front of him.

"Poor boy. So much… pain, in your eyes." She says with a tone that sounds… genuine, somehow. It's not that tone everybody has when they feel sorry for someone. She truly sounds… real.

"Let me help you, my child." Fuck. He truly believes that she can be trusted. But he thought the same about kid-Esteban, and Lisbeth. Plus, he's heard the stories of what happens inside a Catholic Church. Daniel, a ten-year-old boy, orphaned, alone, starving, willing to do anything for food. Anything- NO! No! Stop! He's NOT going to… that. No matter how bad things get, he will never do… that. Suddenly, Daniel feels a hand on his shoulder, a comforting hand. But it didn't matter. He acted on impulse, pushing the old woman back towards a wall with his powers. Then, he held her there, slowly choking the life out of her.

"I- I told you… just… leave me… alone. Why- why couldn't you just… listen?" He can see the terror in her eyes, not understanding what's happening. She probably just wanted to help him. Probably. She also could have served him food with a Roofie in it, and Daniel would wake up in a dungeon where people… did stuff… to him, and… with him. Right now, he's not sure what options are the best, or if it even matters. For reasons, he doesn't even know himself, Daniel lets her go. She falls to the ground, gasping for air.

"Just… leave me alone… please… please…" Daniel begs her. He doesn't have to ask again. The old woman uses all of her strength to rise from the ground. Before leaving, she gives him a look, completely different from before. A look of fear.

"Hijo del diablo…" She mutters, then she leaves him be. Daniel didn't know much Spanish, but two out of those three words he did know. But he wished… he didn't. "Devil's child." Daniel Diaz is the devil's child. He turns back to his brother's grave.

"I- I don't know what to do, Sean. I- I'm all alone here. I'm so hungry, but I can't get any food. And… I don't wanna leave you. You're my brother, Sean. I- I love you." The little cub was starving, but he didn't want to leave his brother's side. He was so scared. Scared that, he wouldn't find his way back, or that he would come back, and Sean's grave would be vandalized. His dad's house… he didn't give a shit about it anymore. Just a shitty house, in a shitty country, in a shitty town. Previously owned by… the best dad in the entire world. Now, owned by his shitty excuse of a son.

Daniel lies down, right next to Sean's grave. He lies on his side, looking at the exact spot his brother's buried. The spot where he, last night, using his bare hands, dug a grave. To bury his big brother. The one person he always could rely on, his idol, his best friend, his- his- his everything. Daniel takes his hand, carefully running his fingers through the sand. Right underneath it, lies Sean.

"I miss you, Sean. So very, very much. I know I don't deserve forgiveness. But… if you can hear this, just know that… I am so sorry, big brother. I love you, I miss you… and I'm sorry." Daniel lies there, whispering words, knowing deep down that nobody will ever hear them. It doesn't make him feel better. Nothing does. Nothing ever will. The little cub closes his eyes, silently hoping that he won't ever have to open them again.

"Daniel?" What the- that voice…? Daniel feels a… very… familiar hand on his shoulder. He even recognized the… smell of it, the size, the weight, everything.

"… I'm sorry, but it's time to get up… Enano." Daniel opens his eyes. Holy fucking shit! It was… all a dream. A sick, terrible, twisted dream. The wolfbrothers are still alive and well, back at Away, about to leave for the border.

"Daniel? Is everything alright? You seem kinda-" Just hearing Sean's voice again… Daniel literally jumped out of the bed, towards Sean, tying both legs and arms around his big brother's neck and body. He cried so much, he could barely speak.

"It- it- was h- h- horrible, S- Sean! You- you- died!" Although he's overwhelmed by emotions, Daniel doesn't realize until now, just how great Sean is at… this. Just, making him feel good when he… doesn't. He feels that familiar hand, rubbing his back, and the other hand going back and forth through his hair. He's still sad, but it was just a dream. Daniel allows himself to… enjoy the brotherly moment, in a way.

"Shh, Enano. It's ok. Everything's gonna be fine. It's just a dream." Yeah, but a fucking horrible one.

"But… it was really, really bad, Sean. It… scared me." Sean sits him down on the bed, pulling him in so their foreheads touch. He always did that when he was very serious about something. The brothers look each other in the eyes.

"… you really don't get it? Do you, Enano?" What…? Daniel feels confused here. Sean's smile had dropped. Instead, his brother just looked… sad. A look of… failure.

"Sean…?" He tries to give a subtle hint.

"Aw, come on, Daniel… I know you weren't always the smartest kid in your class, to put it mildly, but really?" What the fuck, Sean?

"Sean?! That's- that's really mean… you're my brother. Don't hurt me like that, Sean." Sean got a look of… anger.

"Hurt you? Me hurting… you, Daniel?" He sounds insulted at the very idea. But his words did hurt Daniel.

"You think I hurt you with that, Daniel? I'm gonna let you in on a little secret here… little cub." Sean puts his arm around him. Daniel doesn't like this, but for some reason, he can't move. At all. When Sean speaks, he sounds like he's about to cry. Even worse than the border-dream.

"You got it all… backward, Daniel." Huh?

"What do you mean, Sean?" Got what backward?

"You just woke up from a terrible nightmare, right? I wanted to surrender at the border, you didn't. You used your powers, I died, you got stabbed by a kid named Esteban, and nearly killed a nun. Sounds about right, little bro?" Daniel's not comfortable right now. He nods slowly.

"… and you believe that this, is the real world, correct?" Daniel once again nods.

"Look at me, Daniel." He's a bit hesitant, but he looks at Sean.

"OH NO, PLEASE DON'T! SEAN!" Daniel screams. Just like… last time. When he turns around, Sean's got a bullet wound in his throat, with blood pouring out from it. Sean himself, however, doesn't seem to notice.

"Do you have any idea… how much this hurt me, Daniel?" His brother's voice is heavy with sorrow and sadness.

"For almost a year, I made it my mission… to protect you, to keep you safe. And you go ahead and do… this?" Sean digs around in the wound with his fingers, taking out the bullet. Daniel watches on in a state of shock.

"This, Daniel… this is NOT what killed me." Sean screams while holding the bullet in front of Daniel.

"You killed me, Daniel. You were my brother. My… Enano. I did everything for you. And you… killed me." Sean hides his face in his palms, sobbing.

"I'm sorry, Sean. I- I didn't mean for it to-" Sean cuts him off.

"Fuck that. It's too late for apologies. Just like it's too late for you. I can't save you, Daniel, I never could. You asked me once if I thought you were a monster. I said no. but I was wrong. You are a monster, Daniel." He can't breathe. He's panicking.

"No-no, Sean… stop… don't… please…" His vision becomes blurry with tears.

"You, Daniel. You are NOT my brother anymore! I wish you died instead of dad! DO YOU HEAR ME?!"

"NOOO!" Daniel wakes up. He's still in Puerto Lobos, still lying next to Sean's grave. His life is still worthless, just like him. Daniel wipes his tears and gets up. He walks out into the ocean. The water reaches just slightly above his small feet. He's a terrible swimmer, maybe he should just… go for a very long swim? Some say that's the most… painless way. Instead, he just lies down on the spot. Not caring that the saltwater makes his bullet wound and knife scar burn like fire. Physical pain… it's nothing to him now. Neither does he care how every wave of water makes him unable to breathe for a few seconds, while simultaneously taking his small body further out to sea. Maybe, if he lies here long enough… things will take care of themselves?

The little cub closed his eyes, waiting, to see if at least the sea would have him…

Notes:

Just trying out some stuff now. This series will have shorter fics, but probably more instead. I feel so sorry for Daniel here. I really do. Hang in there, Enano...