WhIP

by footfungus

nederlands verhalen over mijn otp

124. Life is Strange 2 Sean and Daniel 33

Spirit Realm: Road to Redemption

sombraguerrero

Summary:

Sean has served his sentence, abbreviated by a lack of success on the authorities' part to attain burden of proof on the supposed major crimes. The public has run out of patience and has allowed Sean and Daniel to try and pick up the pieces, with as much help as they can get along what is once again a rough road.

Chapter 1: Shadows

Summary:

Sean is free, but in his mind, struggles to reconcile the past and present, while also trying to recall how to function in this society that had so betrayed him and his brother.

Chapter Text

Sean Diaz was a cop killer. His brother, Daniel, was some kind of freak. Sean was okay with the first thing, not the second. It killed him a little more inside any time he thought about it. Sometimes, not even solitary confinement was solitary enough. Seven painful years after that maelstrom of a day at the Mexican border, and this was the discourse that had permeated through the court of public opinion across the nation, especially across Washington and Oregon. Ultimately, this was how he ended up being tried, by public opinion. There were plenty of concrete offenses to book him for, of course. Grand theft auto (given the violence he'd already been pegged with by the time he stole that car), an un-repayable amount of damage to property essentially stretching down interstate lines, evading the police/resisting arrest, and of course, the murder of Kindred Matthews. Yet, in spite of all this, even after the case of the Diaz brothers was passed all the way up to the federal level for various attempts at cross-examination, the law had proven insufficient to prosecute this case in a way that satisfied really anyone at all. After the frenzy at Louis Avenue, the worst day of Sean and Daniel's life, the day that took away the man who was their rock, Sean was convinced the truth could never be known, that they'd never listen. As with all storms though, there had been a calm where someone eventually was able to evaluate the scene properly. The young man covered in blood had a mild concussion and a nasty puncture to his back where a stone on the sidewalk had met him squarely on his fall, but the food coloring and corn syrup separated as soon as the police went to swipe for blood. Puzzling for similar reasons was officer Matthew's death. The dash cams of all the squads on scene had recorded the same things, but no footage really revealed the source of whatever force killed him. The scene certainly looked like an explosion, but analysis after analysis showed no trace of anything that could be called conventional ballistics. Other than his impact wounds that proved fatal, there was no blood from the front. There was no shrapnel, no entry/exit wounds, nothing to indicate the young man had been blown back or shot by anything but…force itself.
So it was that seven years in, the public had grown extremely weary of this case. While plenty agreed with the cop killer/freak narrative, plenty more felt that this was just one more to add to the growing list of trigger-happy, under trained, cop-led tragedies made worse by racial tension. Some of the more conspiratorial folk had even pointed to the destruction of Arcadia Bay. There were rumors about that whole debacle three years before that it had also started when reports came in of exceptionally strange events surrounding the kids at Blackwell Arts Academy – giant beached whales, unnatural eclipses, the fact that the tornado seemed to conjure itself out of thin air. There were even some tabloids published afterward that spouted nonsense about disruptions to the space-time continuum! The people who bought into this stuff would say that maybe whatever was going on in this region was bigger than two Latino boys running for their seemingly innocent lives from a mishandled patrol. As if the courts felt the need to appease the angry majority though, they had kept Sean imprisoned for this long, and on a couple occasions had transferred him to other prisons so that he could perform a bizarre sort of "community service" under guard to help clean the communities he damaged. Those charged with his supervision tended to make sure this was particularly back breaking work. People weren't happy about this either though: Why should their hard-earned tax dollars go to carting around some Mexican kid to right his wrongs? Finally, the day came. A new trial, new conditions established for his parole and release. His record would not be expunged. If someone so desired, they could bring him back to trial at a later date, but the higher courts had already deferred back down the line, and there was no appetite at the local level to carry this any further. Sean would just need to be a model citizen, not even so much as a moving or traffic violation for the rest of his life, or, "Next time," the judge declared, "They would put him away for good."
Sean sat on his rock of an excuse for a bed in his cell, flipping through his sketchbook. Sketchbooks, one of the only personal effects he was consistently allowed, but fortunately, often the only one he needed. His drawing had come a long way since trying it in the hospital all those years ago. It was one of his only pastimes, but it was the most important. Daniel visited a lot. That was at least the one thing they mercifully allowed was a lot of visitation. Even the worst haters seemed to recognize that tearing two young brothers apart would probably only make things worse. So, Daniel kept Sean very up to date on what was apparently happening in his life and other things outside. That's how the comic of Superwolf saving the bus, and so many others, had come to be. A lot of those handset to handset calls were spent trading tips on how to create with the mind's eye. Sean could create the depth he couldn't see and Daniel could take the wisdom of the Silver Runner back with him to Chris, to continue the adventures of the Spirit Squad. A couple years after Daniel was brought back to Beaver Creek, Charles found a family crisis center outside of town, further into the city. Chris really thrived there, so well in fact that they hired him as a "big helper," a mentor to the little ones. He'd taken to the role by bringing the adventures of Captain Spirit and the evil antics of Mantroid to life for the whole center. Everybody loved it. Everybody loved him, so naturally, he and Daniel fed off each other to make the whole thing even more Awesome Possum! Charles had finally gone back into AA, actually got through it, and over the next few years, had the longest periods of sobriety he'd ever had since the start of it all. Some occasional lapses happened, but Chris was prouder of his dad now than he had ever been for really trying. The center was run down, wooden floorboards loose, some splintered and patched up, overhead lights buzzing loudly with bad wiring. Drafty windows everywhere, but it was home for so many.
Sean's attention snapped back to where he was. The guard came to get him for dinner. It was a nice night, so inmates were allowed outside today. It was September though. The North Pacific air was just starting to flirt between the dampness of spring and the crispness of fall. Kickball was just about the only thing the large, vacant courtyard was good for. Zero depth perception didn't make it very practical, but Sean played along sometimes anyway. His track days may have been behind him, but he was still a hell of a runner – the only reason he didn't get struck out every time. Sometimes the guys were cool about it and let him kick, good to practice focus. He was actually in solitary by request, and his prison mates largely had no problem with him. He didn't really care why. It was just nice to be treated decently for once. Soon though, this was all going to be…over. Sean still couldn't wrap his head around it. Finally, he'd caught a break, after all that shit, everything he lost, everything he sacrificed, he was getting some his time back. He'd lost plenty, and there was still so much of Daniel's growing up that he missed, at least, in the way he would have wanted to be part of it. Now he had a chance, it wasn't too late. Daniel could still really use his big wolf brother. "But then," Sean thought, letting his doubt creep in, "Do I deserve it? Can I even still be that for him?" He shook the negativity loose, focusing on something else….Something…else. What else would he do? Would he go out on the road? Find a place to live? New job? New schooling? He startled himself a bit with that last one. Was he really that desperate to feel normal again? Well, yeah, he was. What about….love? Oh! What would he tell Lyla about…Cassidy….or Finn? It's not that she wouldn't understand. She totally would, but if his story was going to outdo the powers of the Love Witch, it had to be good. Table that for later. Sean opened his sketchbook and started working on the sunset, a particularly vibrant cascade of reds and oranges tonight, casting a hazy shadow on the field that somehow looked to him like it was leading out to somewhere unknown. Other people outside enjoying their meals, laughing, talking. How often it had struck Sean that things in here seemed more normal than they did out there. He packed up and headed back in. Tomorrow, his sense of normal would flip, as it had so many other times in his long, drawn out twenty-three years in this wild, wild world.

Chapter 2: The Price of Freedom

Summary:

Sean and Daniel try to gain some of the closure around that last fateful day at home, that they could not get while on the run or apart.

Chapter Text

Sean walked, as slowly and uncertainly as he ever had, through the door leading out of Jolena Shore. His breathing was shallow as the gate opened. The day was blustery, the air was unseasonably cold, even for Seattle this time of year. It gusted as Sean crossed, as if daring him to take that final step and claim his tenuous liberty. He hadn't seen this parking lot since he first arrived. He'd truly forgotten what the street level even looked like. There, standing in front of the car: Karen, Lyla….and Daniel. GOD, was even a bit taller than his big brother now? Maybe that was fitting, somehow. It's not like Sean hadn't seen him constantly throughout the years of visitation, but overwhelmed by the prospect of freedom and no bars between them, it just felt so much more real. Then it happened, finally. The brothers were in each other's arms. They dropped helplessly to a crouch, overcome by the weight of the moment, as two more came down to join them, letting the moment flow into a beautiful shape of blissful release.
One of the biggest conditions of Sean's release, other than the ankle bracelet basically becoming a permanent body part, was that he could not leave Seattle without first establishing and documenting a permanent residence and "gainful employment," the court's words. This was insanely difficult given his completely intact rap sheet, not to mention his forever destroyed image in the eyes of almost everyone who lived around him. Over the next few weeks, his tiny group of people who still loved and supported him, moved him into what was little more than a hole in the wall in a run-down apartment complex in the worst part of town. It took a couple truckloads of cleaning supplies, the group pooling money to pay a couple well-meaning handymen, and "free sign" furnishings, but eventually, Sean had a sturdy enough roof over his head under which he could comfortably eat, sleep, and wash. His selection of jobs brought him right back to where he was over eight years before. There was a time when he couldn't stand this, and another time when he would have longed for the kind of thrilling experience and money that Humboldt brought him. Now, it was impossible to recall either of those times with any sort of happiness or positivity. Awkwardly, he felt content working among kids the age he had so forcibly left behind, earning their wages. He heard their whispers, of course, but compared to the hell the adult world put him through, the gossip of teenagers felt like a reprieve. Not unlike those teenagers, he focused on saving up, shooting to regain some shred of dignity and independence again, though he still wasn't sure what form that would take exactly. It wasn't lost on him that he and Daniel were now ironically in the same spot in life, but Daniel would run circles around his big brother in life now. That's how Sean saw it, and exactly how he wanted it.
October came, and almost seven years to the day, the brothers felt it was time to do what they hadn't been able to, both pay proper respects to their father, together. The family had misgivings about them doing this. They were afraid it'd be too much, but Sean and Daniel had both insisted it was the only way. The police and the courts had concluded that most of the physical evidence for the brothers' crimes was not to be found in the house. They had re-possessed the things that were valuable enough to help recover the costs for the damage around the neighborhood, including the car Esteban had been fixing up for Sean, but beyond that, they had no use for a lot of what was left over. They had tried to auction some of it off, but there was next to no interest in any of it other than some of the tools left in the garage. Everything else was about to be thrown out for good, except for one man who, for reasons he explained to no one, formally requested the courts to transfer everything to a public storage unit he could keep an eye on and pulled strings to make sure it happened. Sean and Daniel made sure to go at the end of the night, as late as they could so they would have as much privacy as possible. The building was chokingly dry inside, and in upper level, back corridors where their units were, the air was so stale, it seemed like no one had used this part in decades. The brothers' stalls were at the very end. They'd been trailing a couple large carts behind them, but they left them there as they saw someone ahead. There was a man standing in front of their stalls, tall, but hunched as if weighted down by time, skin wrinkled, hair thinning and scraggly. He was late sixties or early seventies, if Sean were to guess. His eyes were almost gray with weariness, but they bore into the boys with an unflinching animosity and burning disdain. "I wondered how long I'd have to wait. I went through a lot of trouble to make sure I could!" He walked up to Sean and Daniel slowly, almost menacingly, and stopped with a huff as he locked eyes intently with both. "You two sure don't look tough enough to take down a cop, but you've been foolin' this country's finest for a long time, haven't you now?"
"Who the hell are you?" Sean demanded, the tremor in his voice betraying his hard stare.
"Don Matthews," the man growled. "You know, I was on the force for forty years. I saw a lot of punk Mexican kids like you running around this city, up to no good. Didn't know how bad it was gonna get back then. Should've booked every last one of you! I was so proud of my son when he finally made it through. Then you two pieces of shit go and get my boy killed! I seen the papers! I seen every report there is on your whole goddamn case! Everyone else may have given up, but I know the truth! He stared at Sean. "I know you took the fall for your little brother. I know you didn't really do all the things you told them." He half turned his head to Daniel. "What I can't figure out is why this little sack is so worth protecting!" He came fully about face to the younger brother now. "Every time the cameras blacked out, shook, or stuff started going airborne, you were the last thing in frame, boy! There's something unnatural about you, boy! I hope you do end up in a lab one day. Hope it's painful as they try to figure out what it is about you that let you murder my boy!" Sean's eyes darted up as he saw the familiar waves starting to distort the air around them. He instantly reached and stepped back, squeezing Daniel's hand.
"Enano!" Sean whispered desperately. The waves subsided and Daniel stepped ahead, still holding onto Sean instinctively, his eyes full of anger and his face twisted in pain. "YOU'RE RIGHT!" Daniel screamed at the top of his lungs. "I can't tell you you're not!" Don Matthews stood in place, face unreadable, still as stone. "Right or wrong, my brother protected me from the truth, because I wasn't ready to face it! But I am now! I am the reason your son is dead! I accept it and I want you to know that my life stopped that day too! So that should be enough for you!" Don came close enough to Daniel that the boy could see his nostrils flaring. Daniel swallowed hard, terrified of, but knowing what he needed to do next. He bore down and started drawing on that well of energy inside of him he so despised. He focused it, ready to release.
"DAD!" A female voice rang from the other end of the hall. Don's face immediately softened as he tried to look perfectly innocent. "Honey, I-I was just….."
"Oh, don't give me any of that crap, Daddy!" Ashley pointed an angry finger at her father. "I knew you'd do something like this ever since you spoke at this boy's first trial!" she exclaimed, swinging her arm in Sean's direction. "Just because you still have a lot of clout in this town doesn't mean you should use it all the time, Dad!" Ashley's voice was full of exasperation, her face reading pure, unbridled exhaustion.
"I don't get it, Ashley!" Don through his hands up in resignation. "THESE TWO MONSTERS MURDERED YOUR BROTHER! How can you be so soft on them?"
"BECAUSE WE ALL MADE MISTAKES, DAD! HIS DEATH WAS A LOT OF PEOPLE'S FAULT!" She stared at the boys for a moment, sorrow written across her face, then spun back to her father. Her voice broke. "More importantly, this isn't what Kindred would want! He wouldn't want you plotting revenge on two kids. He wouldn't have wanted me wallowing in self-pity to the press! He would have wanted us to keep living. To continue the good he did, the good that drove him to join the force in the first place! Aren't we tarnishing his memory if we don't do that? Do you think he's at peace knowing you refuse to be? C'mon, let this go! Look at these two! They look like they haven't had a day's rest since this whole thing started, and you know, neither have we. So, let's go home, Dad. Forget this, and move on, for *his* sake."
She pulled them away, Don still eying the brothers with resentment as they passed out of view. Sean waited to hear the loud throng of the lift heading back down to the lower level, then pulled Daniel to him, his little brother trembling, burying his head in the older one's chest. "I couldn't protect you forever, enano, I wish I could have, I'm sorry."
"You're here now. That's more than I could have hoped for," Daniel said softly. "Only, I wish I…." He trailed off. Sean looked down at his brother, a worried expression on his face, but he didn't press it. If there was one thing he knew about Daniel, it was that whenever it needed to come out, it would. After a few more minutes, Daniel relaxed. He'd still been holding the charge, and as he pushed it out with a deep breath, their stalls flew open and emptied, their stuff sprawled out, the carts now front and center, all in one swift movement. Sean grinned and went wide-eyed in spite of himself. Clearly, Superwolf was keeping sharp. "Uh, let's do the rest by hand, just in case," Sean suggested. He checked to make sure he still had the actual keys. They got to work loading everything up.
They spent the next few days splitting the stuff up between them, hauling a little of it back to Sean's apartment, but most of it back to Beaver Creek. It was too painful to go back to the house, but Lyla did go in and out once, to get Sean a photo of the mural downstairs. That night, Sean and Daniel went to Esteban's grave site. For a long time, they huddled there, not doing or saying anything except holding onto each other. Then Daniel worked up the courage to say a little prayer, asking for guidance, wisdom, love, and forgiveness from both Fathers. Sean joined in, as he thought to himself how relieved he was that after Haven Point, Claire and Stephen had taken to teaching Daniel about real faith. They brought a few items. Sean had a selection of sketches he thought Dad would appreciate most, plus a sixteen-millimeter reversible flex wrench. Daniel had the Lord of the Rings box set and, after some pep talk from Sean, a chunky choco crisp bar. They had purchased a lock box, put everything inside, and thrown away the key. No one was around at this hour, but Sean had a large tarp to throw up over them just in case. He covered them up as Daniel put his hands to the ground, moving the earth beneath them until the lock box was submerged, the hole refilled and packed in.
A couple days later, things had finally settled down enough that everyone felt it was time to celebrate Sean's freedom. Yes, it was tenuous, and that fact still loomed over everyone's head, but it was still a miracle to have them all together, so much sooner than anyone had first thought possible. Lyla came back down from Seattle, joining Chris and Charles at the Reynolds for the party. Karen sent her love from Nevada. They didn't detain her for long given her complete cooperation and her plea deal, but her community service consisted of helping a regional effort to expand solar gardens. Universal Uprising's plot had been re-zoned to include the project. This made Sean smile. At least something was going in there to help the community instead of hurt it.
Daniel and Chris were busy putting up some simple decorations. Stephen was out for supplies, and Lyla was frosting the cake Claire had just finished baking – a job Lyla insisted Sean not see in progress
"Oh Sean, could you take out the garbage and recycling?" Claire called. Sean sighed in resignation and smirked to himself. Leave it to Claire to buzzkill a good time before it even starts. He took care of the bins and bags on the main level first, then thought he should probably get the bedrooms too. He gathered everything up, then hit Karen's old room, now Daniel's, last. The room didn't look much like the dated, frozen in time trove of bad memories it had the last time Sean had spent this much time in here. The walls had been repainted in a kind of taconite red with charcoal, almost black trim. Almost every comic and sketch Sean had done while they were apart was on the walls. Above Daniel's bed, a few of the photos they got back from storage. Sean felt himself choke back tears, lump in his throat. He looked away and went straight to the left of Daniel's wardrobe where he kept the garbage can. As he picked it up, he bumped the door next to it. The door bounced but didn't close again all the way. Sean thought he better check. Claire wouldn't like it if Daniel was just stuffing clothes in there loose and blocking the door. Instead, he saw the door was being blocked by something. A paper shredder? Geez, that didn't seem like Daniel at all, but then, maybe those nine months soured him toward the other "Big Brother" more than Sean thought it had. Not thinking much else of it, he opened the shredder to empty it. Only a couple pages in there, he estimated. He couldn't make any of it out anyway. It probably wasn't any of his business. He finished the chore and wandered back into the hall. Stephen was home. He and Daniel were at the controls of the train, still kept in pristine condition by Grandpa's almost religious daily maintenance. Daniel was building a track too. The set was close to finished, all the models were built and set in place, though not yet fastened and powered, not that Daniel actually needed electricity to watch it run. Whereas Stephen's track ran up into the mountainside, Daniel had built his to do the opposite, exiting the mountainside down into the wooded valleys below. It reminded Sean of their trek to Humboldt. Some normalcy returning to his life made it easier for Sean to reflect on now.
He needed to track them down one day soon, try to find out through more than just hearsay what happened to them. Fate always seemed to reconnect that group to some degree though. Jacob and Sarah Lee had made peace with their parents, but still chose to keep their distance and moved off into a more urban part of Nevada so she could be around more kids her age in a public school. Anders and Ingrid ended up crossing the other border, seeing what Canada had to offer a couple of worldly nomads. Hannah was in the wind, but that was probably how she preferred it. Finn had still been sending Sean letters, mentioning in one of them that Penny had found his way east…..like, way east, something about finding true nirvana and being totally over western society. Finn had finished his sentence too and was still wrapping up community service. He was itching to start train hopping all over again, but Sean knew that wherever Finn ended up, he'd be waiting for him, and that meanwhile, Cassidy would never be too far away, watching him like a hawk now. Sean walked back downstairs. It looked like Lyla and Claire were still busy, so he took to his sketchbook. That huge fireplace of theirs was going, the light of the flames dancing off the walls and the bookshelves with the gentlest orange hues and lively shape-shifting shadows, nothing like the cold haziness back in Jolena Shore's courtyard. This was the best Sean had felt about himself and his surroundings in years, and he wanted to capture every nuance of it. He drew everything his mind could see and had seen that night, including Finn. He drew Finn back at Jolena too. He couldn't do it often, too painful, but he made himself do it at least once for the last seven, almost eight years, on the anniversary of that first kiss.
"Hey, dreamer boy!" Lyla snapped her fingers in front of Sean's face, breaking his trance. "It's time! You gonna come cut this cake or what?" With that, Sean got up and admired Lyla's handiwork. Marble cake, chocolate frosting. In the center, a recreation of the infamous wolf squad hoodie. In the lower left corner, a tiny banner in metal blue and pink. Sean flushed and shot Lyla a sharp stare, who grinned sheepishly. Sean looked a little nervously over at Claire, but Lyla tapped him on the shoulder and half smiled with a finger to her lips, shaking her head to confirm what he'd hoped, that it had gone over Grandma's head….for now.
"The love witch confesses herself bested!" Lyla proclaimed while she and Sean were sitting in the guest bedroom later. "There's no way I can measure up to the almighty Silver Runner now! You raised your little brother on the road for nine months, blew up a pot farm, a cult, made it to the Mexican border, *and* you can get girls and guys into you? I mean, the student has become the master, dude! Plus, your brother's a flippin' superhero! You could score with anyone on the planet!"
"Okay, seriously, Lyla, eww!" Sean interjected with a laugh, pulling back, feigning disgust. "When did you get so cringe?"
"Pfft, we're in our twenties now, Sean! We're boring adults! Cringe starts working now!" Lyla giggled. Then her face fell as she came down from the levity. Her voice softened, "but seriously, Sean, I still can't believe that after all that fucking bullshit that happened, you're here, and you're okay."
"I'm still not sure I am, Lyla," Sean said, his voice shaky.
"You will be," Lyla said confidently. "I know you. You're Sean Diaz, that's always been your superpower."

Chapter 3: Letting Go

Summary:

The truth comes out...

Chapter Text

A couple days later, Sean and Daniel rode with Chris up to the shelter. Chris had told them that he had "something amazing" to show them both. Daniel hadn't been up there since Chris was hired on as an official employee, so it had been quite a few months. Chris had been about to bring just Daniel up to show him, but after finding out about Sean's release, he knew he had to wait for both of them. They pulled up in the late afternoon, and instantly, Daniel's eyes went wide and he gasped. The run-down shack that was the little shelter was no longer a run-down shack. The whole wooden exterior had been re-stained in a golden brown that matched the sun setting behind it, the varnish still fresh enough that it made the building glint in the last rays of daylight. Inside, every inch of the place was perfectly lit, not a flicker to be seen, nor a buzz or hum to be heard. Tightly sealed storm windows, a couple with pastel dressings, though most with sturdy blinds of various, more vibrant colors. The floorboards were all fixed, also re-stained and varnished, notably darker than the outside. There were new storage lockers and cubbies lining the walls. Hawtdawg Man, Power Bear, and related action figures were so abundant, you'd swear this was a product testing ground for the company. Toward the back, the building now forked into a couple small additions, a small library and new staff office space to the left. Chris went ahead, unlocked the office and motioned for the brothers to follow. He went to his desk, fumbled through one of the larger drawers for a minute and pulled out an envelope.
"He made me swear not to show or tell either of you about this letter until the remodel was done or you two were back together. Who knew we'd be lucky enough for it to be both?" Chris smiled solemnly.
"He?" Sean inquired. Chris handed Sean the letter. Daniel leaned in to read it with him.
"My dudes!" The letter began in a tell-tale introduction. "I know it probably warrants some explanation how I got this letter to Chris without blowing cover, but well, when you travel as much as I do, you get pretty good at figuring out where interesting people and places are based on certain hints. That, and uh, Daniel, you're a bit of a blabber mouth, little dude. Then again, so are a lot of people on A Tribe Called West." Sean gave Daniel a look, he returned it with a blush and a sheepish grin. "My brother and I came to the most win-win agreement for both of us, ever," Brody continued. "Let me do this one thing with just a bit of the family's money, and I will legally forfeit all my rights to the family's estate. He'll never have to call me home to deal with money ever again! WOOHOO! So, the shelter will find enclosed a check for, oh, I dunno, seventy-thousand dollars…and maybe some change. This sounds like an absolutely prodigious place for folks fallen on hard times, and the fact that the three of you are involved, I'm sure makes it a hundred times more prodigious! Hopefully, I'll be able to see my family's money's handiwork for myself the next time I work my way back toward the Pacific northwest. In the meantime, Daniel, keep being your totally badass, awesome self. Sean, I don't know exactly when you'll see this, but whenever and wherever you do, I hope you and your brother are together again. From what I hear, Claire and Stephen have taken great care of him, but it's no exaggeration to say you raised him on the road. You may have paid the price for it, but dude, you're a fucking legend, and I want you to take that in and know that! Maybe when you get out, I'll see you on the road. I'm convinced you'd be better at my job than me, so we'd better review different places! Ha!"
Signed:
Santa Brody
"Damn it, Brody!" Sean sniffled, one hand on Daniel's shoulder. "What the hell did we ever do to deserve you, man?" Daniel took the glass of water on the desk and downed it.
"HEY!" Chris protested, but in the next second, a new glass of water came shooting across the room to replace it. Chris rolled his eyes. "You may want to save some of those waterworks," he advised, "'cause Brody did one other thing."
"Fuck." Sean sighed.
They went back to the fork and went right this time. Chris put his hand on the door handle as he asked, "Ready?" Both brothers nodded. Chris opened the door. Clearly, they both weren't ready. Daniel's knees buckled and he nearly fell over, Sean caught him, but then both let themselves drop to the floor. On the other side of the door was a new nook. The floor was covered in red, brown, and white tarps with paw prints printed on them. The whole outer perimeter was enclosed in pet fencing. Inside the fencing, all of the kids remaining for the late afternoon, plus some family members, playing with puppies of all breeds. Above the nook, a hand-painted sign on a board of wood read, "Mushroom's Den." At the back of the nook were bins full of bandanas of all colors, each dog in the pens wearing one that the kids lovingly tied around their necks.
"They're from a shelter a good hour from here. It was Brody's idea. They come with a litter or two every month or so. We partner with them to help with adoptions and use the time they're here as family bonding time." Chris explained.
"Brody, you beautiful bastard," Sean thought to himself and shook his head in disbelief.
When Sean and Daniel had regained their composure, Chris pressed them, "Well, you gonna join them or not?"
"Well, I guess I know where I need to bring my dog to play now," Daniel said.
When they stepped into the pen, Chris called out, "Hey, everybody! We've got special guests today! You all know Superwolf, and back from the clutches of the evil hunters, the Silver Runner!" The brothers glared at Chris incredulously, as he laughed and disappeared back into the office. With that, the flood gates opened. The kids regaled Sean and Daniel with questions about their super alter egos. "How fast does the Silver Runner really run?" "Can Superwolf fly?" "Can he help Silver Runner fly?" It didn't take long for Sean and Daniel to get over their embarrassment and let themselves be sucked into the narrative. This was maybe the first time in years that the Diaz brothers had done something fun together in public. "Good old Chris," Daniel mused. After about twenty or so minutes of this, Chris came back out, his walk and posture more serious and deliberate, but still with a grin, he yelled, "Superwolf! Can you hold down the fort so Captain Spirit and Silver Runner can catch up?"
"Uh, you can count on me, Captain Spirit!" Daniel called back, playing the part as best he could. Sean got up and out of the pen, glancing back at Daniel who nodded in relent. The younger brother stared after them as the office door shut once again, the briefest flash of suspicion in Daniel's eyes, but his duty to Superwolf's fans called.
"Since when do Captain Spirit and Silver Runner need to talk about secret mission plans?" Sean jested. Chris' gaze met Sean's, and the older one's playfulness cleared as he saw that the boy's usually bright eyes were uncharacteristically subdued.
"Yeah, that was just for the kids - and to try and throw Daniel off."
"I don't think that's possible, Chris, you should know that, he's too smart for that," Sean chastised.
"I do," Chris affirmed quickly. "That's why I'm worried about him. Something's wrong. I know it. He won't talk to me about it. In fact, we….had a fight about it, about what I'm about to tell – actually, show you."
"No way, man! You guys never fight about anything. Daniel talked to me almost every visit about stuff," Sean retorted.
"I know, but we never had anything worth fighting about, until this." He pulled a small key from his pocket and unlocked the center drawer of his desk. He removed a plastic baggie. Inside was a receipt and a full page of diamond-shaped paper shreds, reminiscent of the blades on newer shredders.
"That's Daniel's shredder, isn't it? The one I found in his room?" Sean asked, his voice now tinged concern.
"You already found it? Was there anything else in it when you did?" Sean nodded. Chris sighed in frustration. "So, he's still doing it. I'm not proud of it, but I went through recycling after he'd taken it out. I caught him in the act of shredding this, but I was too late. I already knew what it was, so we fought about it. Claire and Stephen weren't home at the time, so he kicked me out and didn't speak to me the rest of the day. That was it. I kept it her so Daniel wouldn't find it. I tried to confront Claire and Stephen about it so many times, but I just didn't have the guts. I was too afraid of damaging our friendship." Chris stepped forward and handed the receipt to Sean. "See the date? That's the weekend after your last trial, when we all found out you were going to be released.
"So, what's shredded in there?" Sean asked, pointing.
Chris took a deep breath. "Daniel's been doing PSEO at Washington State Community College. What's shredded here is an acceptance letter into Washington's Early Admission program. One regularly scheduled course per quarter.
Sean was getting visibly upset, but he swallowed everything down to not take it out on Chris. "So, wait, wait, you're telling me Daniel's been coming back up to Washington for school and he never told me?"
"I think he didn't tell you for the same reason we fought over the shredding. Sean, whatever it is, it's definitely between the two of you, so only you can fix it. Talk to him, please." Sean nodded, and stepped out of the office. He definitely would, but not here. He knew just the place.
Because the brothers had been on the road with each other so much since Sean got out, either car was stocked with supplies for night stays at any given time, so on a casual suggestion from Sean, they stopped on their way back out of town for a few more camping-specific supplies. They were headed back up to Seattle to Sean's place for what was hopefully going to be one of the last trips to divvy up the storage locker stuff. They felt they were both ready to do this – to visit one of the places that drudged up the most memories. One of the first places they had truly found a moment of peace back then. Hide and seek, skipping rocks, making a fort – Trout Spring Park. Only one spot was suitable for the occasion of course. They found the cave, the small cliff they had sat on above it to watch the clouds. Everything was as it was then, untouched. It was late afternoon; the golden hour was well underway. They both thought it would be harder to come here: Daniel was afraid the nightmares would return. Sean was afraid the guilt would all come flooding back. Yet this place, with vibrant golden rays streaming through the trees and shimmering off the water, seemed to have a different effect. Sean was pensive as he emptied backpacks and started prepping the fire pit. Daniel gathered the wood this time. He was the more able heavy lifter now. Sean felt this place differently now. They weren't on the run anymore, and now that they weren't, this park seemed to almost be offering him something, something magical, empowering. He felt like he could step through the light between the trees as if through a portal to any place on Earth he desired. He could see the grandest ships out on those waters, and if only one of them would dock, he could board them and sail through time, the waters revealing everything that is, was, and could be in their reflections. For the moment though, there was a far more important issue at hand.
"Daniel," Sean began. "That night back at the storage locker, when you told that douchebag that your life stopped too…..did, did it ever start again?" Sean's voice cracked with emotion as he asked a question that had haunted him every day at Jolena Shore. For as often as Daniel visited Sean at Jolena, neither of them ever felt comfortable discussing any of the bad stuff over handsets with a pane of glass between them. So, they'd kept conversation to the best parts of their day to day they could think of. Sean drew and exchanged lots of comics in between Daniel's tales of life with Stephen, Claire, and Chris. Now though, there were no handsets or glass. No excuse not to talk about it now.
Daniel turned his head at the question, but found himself not quite able to make eye contact with his big brother as he said, "I'm here, aren't I? Getting through it?"
Sean nodded vaguely, unconvinced. "You're getting through it. I get that. But then, why shred your acceptance letters and redo the same applications to places millions of times?"
Daniel's glare was hard, and now he locked with both Sean's eyes, as if through the left side, he could find an easier way to desperately get into his brother's head. "I knew that's what Chris was going to tell you about!" Daniel growled, a little angry, though mostly expectant.
"Daniel, he's your best friend. He's worried and he's looking out for you. Why'd you do it, man? Why fight with him about it when it's something good for your future?"
Daniel stretched out an open palm, brought a large pile of pebbles into it, and started twirling them like a vortex. "The future," Daniel mused reverently, sadly. He stacked the pebbles then, neatly between him and Sean, in something resembling a wall – "that wall," Sean instantly realized with a pit in his stomach. "You know that day?" Daniel started, Sean almost lurching to shift his weight, the phrase triggering all the worst memories. "At Flores' barricade," Daniel continued, his head turning to face Sean again, face streaked with tears, voice heavier than Sean had ever heard it before. "I was going to let you go, Sean!" Daniel was sobbing now.
Sean went pale, and it was all he could do to not turn his back and throw up in pain. "DANIEL! H-How could – I mean, you wouldn't, if I had - I didn't – I wouldn't have ever crossed if I had known!"
"BUT YOU DID, ALREADY CROSS, SEAN!" Daniel's sorrow echoed through the forest now. "I COULD SEE IT IN YOUR EYES THE MOMENT I TORE THAT WALL OPEN! He took a few deep breaths and managed to calm down a little. "I saw it then, the first time. Only, I was ready to follow you then. I would have followed you anywhere on Earth at that moment because my big brother had done the impossible! He'd gotten us to the end! He was going to do everything in his power to make sure we made it! But then, after the police station, and once I saw Flores, I saw another chance for us! I saw a chance for you to be happy in Puerto Lobos, and me to be happy in Beaver Creek. I wasn't going to give you a choice! You never gave me one, but it was never because I was angry with you, never!" Daniel had to catch his breath. "I told myself, I wanted your happiness even more than you wanted us to stay together! So, I was ready, I'd accepted it. I was fine with it. I'd made my decision. I was going to open the barricade, bust down that gate, jump out of the damn car, and see you off to the freedom you deserved!" Daniel paused, flung the pebbles back toward the shore, and planted himself against Sean's shoulder, the older brother paralyzed by emotion, hardly reacting. "Then you surrendered, and my whole plan, all of my resolve just vanished. I didn't know what to do! All I could hear were your last words to me. "You're not a little wolf anymore. Never forget who you are, ever!" So I tried my best. I made it through foster care until Grandpa and Grandma got custody of me. I did all the things I thought I needed to, to try and be a big wolf, at least as cool as you were. I couldn't do it though, not all of me. You know why? I think a part of me went with you to Jolena Shore, Sean. A part of me stayed ten, stayed with his big wolf brother forever. Because I was ready for us to live happy lives apart, but I was never ready to have your life frozen while I grew up! That just never made sense to me! So I faked it to make it, and I almost made it. I almost had everyone fooled, including myself. Then that last trial, and the news of your early release. Yet again, everything fell apart, and there I was again, the little wolf, feeling littler than ever, knowing that if my big brother was coming home, there's no way I could be without him ever again. I had to help him this time the same way he helped me! That's how I'd become a big wolf! That's why the shredding started. That's why Chris and I fought. That's why Claire and Stephen didn't find out about anything regarding my future. My future wouldn't mean anything without you."
Sean was shaking with shame and with his head between his knees, lamented, "You don't need me in your future, Daniel! I don't deserve to be in your future! I deserve nothing, you deserve everything! I'm such a fuck-up! Even going to prison wasn't doing right by you! Why would you need to help me with anything?" Sean was inconsolable.
"Because we're brothers, Sean! Because I need to remind you of who you are this time. If I deserve everything, it's only because you gave up the best parts of yourself to make me a good person! I want the world to know what Sean Diaz really did for his little freak brother! But they can't know that, so then the next best thing is for the world to know what a hero my brother is! But they can't know that either until he starts seeing value in himself again! So I'll make you a deal, Sean. I'll grow up, for real this time, no more little wolf, if you promise me to take back some of what you gave up for me, and start seeing yourself as a worthwhile person again. Can we do that?" Daniel had practically cried himself dry by now.
"I'll try, enano, I'll really try. I promise."
They fell asleep in each other's arms that night, like they had that night under the stars at the canyon in Away. It was the best sleep either of them had in years.

Chapter 4: Impact

Summary:

Sean slowly begins to recover his sense of self-worth, as he learns that his support system is stronger than he thought.

Notes:

Special thanks to Dreamprism for letting me borrow a particular alias :)

Chapter Text

"I can't believe the laser tag place is even still open!" Daniel commented, excitedly."

"Yeah, it's gotten a lot more expensive, but I think it'll be worth it," Sean looked over at his brother with a smile.

"I've never had anyone to go with before," said Chris. "What a great Christmas present, thanks, Sean!"

"Don't thank me yet, still gotta make sure it all pans out. By the way, what about you two? Didn't see you guys exchange any gifts. Just kind of assume you would, I guess."

"Oh, that's 'cause Daniel and I got our Christmas gifts months ago," Chris said with a big smile.

"Comic-Con: San Diego, baby!" Daniel yelled out in glee.

"Haha, super jealous! It'll be lit. Hope you guys have tons of fun with that."

Sean pulled his car up to the old laser tag place, after a long drive from Beaver Creek back to Seattle. Even for him, this place brought back memories of a different time, specifically how many times he had to drive Daniel over here, and how much he hated it. Now, as with so many other things, he looked at it fondly in retrospect, and wished he could have appreciated it then, wished he could have done it a hundred times more. That's how it should have been. Chris' phone rang as they were parking. "Hi, Dad," Chris answered as he stepped out of the car to continue the conversation.

"Hey, uh, before we go in," Daniel paused, pulling a small box from under his seat and handing it over. "Merry Christmas, Sean."

Sean sighed, "Dude, no, you're supposed to be saving money for yourself right now. I said no gifts!"

"Just open it," Daniel pleaded. "It's for both of us."

Sean gave him a puzzled look, then did as he was told. A new watch, bigger band this time, just like the one from back then. He stared at his brother in astonishment. "Daniel, how in the world did you….?"

Daniel pulled back his sleeve and turned his wrist, revealing a match. "There's a new shop near the college that sells old trinket type stuff. Saw these there one day after my PSEO classes and knew they had to be for us. So, here's to time….starting for us again?" Daniel said meekly, looking at Sean hopefully. Sean stared at his brother for a long moment and took the watch with him as he got out of the car. Confused, Daniel followed. They met each other behind the car then, Daniel's eyes begging Sean for an answer. Sean put the watch on, then charged into Daniel for a hug. They stayed like that for a while, holding tight. "Absolutely, enano. Anything for you."

"I can't believe I got you back," Daniel confessed in soft sobs.

"I can't believe you brought me back," Sean confessed back in kind.

"Ugh, we're in a parking lot, Sean, better not make too much of a scene here," Daniel relented, wiping his tears.

"Might be a little late for that," Sean mused with a half chuckle and smile. He ruffled Daniel's hair.

Chris walked back toward the car after finishing with Charles. "You guys okay?" he asked after seeing their puffy faces.

"Better than okay," Sean declared."

"So much," Daniel added.

"So, are we ready for laser tag?" Chris cocked his head tentatively.

"Right on!" Daniel answered. "Race you to the gate!"

The three of them hurried inside.

"Diaz, Sean, prepaid for up to an hour of play, hoo, you guys must be hardcore! Nobody plays the long session anymore! So, where's your third?" the kid attending the desk asked.

Daniel popped his head out at Sean from across the desk. "I thought you said you weren't playing, Sean."

"I'm not."

"Then who?"

"Oh, some other douchebag," came a mischievous voice from behind Daniel, "but he's always gotta make an entrance, you know."

Daniel and Chris turned, cried out in excitement and went in for the broiest of group hugs. "Sean, you did this?"

"Yeah, Sean said with a big grin, and that's not all."

"I get to hang with you guys for the rest of winter break," Noah piped in, "I just have to split Daniel's chores, according to your grandma," he grumbled.

"No sweat, man! Even that'll be tons of fun with you around!" Daniel exclaimed.

Noah lowered his voice, addressing Chris and Daniel alone, "Plus I was thinking, it'd be a great chance to work on our special project." Daniel smiled at this, shot his eyes briefly up at Sean, then back down, and nodded. Sean raised an eyebrow, but figured he'd best not know.

"No time for that now, though! Let's suit up, lock and load!" Chris pressed.

The boys followed the attendants into the prep room. Sean found himself staring after not Daniel or Chris, but Noah, reflecting upon the video chat that had led to this little Christmas gift for Daniel, and the unexpected gift that his little brother's best friend had given to him.

"Totally, I am def down for kicking Daniel's butt at laser tag again! It's been too long, and like, nobody goes down there anymore. I'm shocked they're still in business, but I guess they do still host a lot of kids' parties." Noah had said, rounding out the plans.

"Great, try to be there around 1PM, the 27th. You guys are getting the long session, plus pizza and soda, on me," Sean concluded.

"Wow, Daniel was right, you are cool. I never used to see it, but he always insisted so much that you were," Noah stated. "Uh, Sean?" Noah's face was suddenly serious, his gaze much more directly in the camera now. "We don't…get to talk a lot, so…..would it be weird if I….got real with you for a sec?"

Sean's eyes narrowed, he was taken aback, he hadn't expected anything like this from Noah ever. He caught himself and did his best to soften and neutralize his expression. "S-sure, Noah. What's on your mind, man?"

Noah gulped, his HD webcam even picking up on beads of sweat he wiped from his forehead.

"Sean, I, I," he paused, took a deep breath, then started again. "I blamed you…..for taking Daniel away from me," he finally forced out the words. "My folks tried really hard to talk me down from it. They kept telling me there was so much of the story we didn't know, that we couldn't know, and that you probably ran away for a good reason."

Sean already had one hand over his mouth, the other over his chest. He had to talk, he had to respond, he owed Noah at least that much dignity. "It wasn't though, man! It wasn't a good reason at all! It was just fear. Fear of what the cops would do, fear of losing Daniel, fear of this power that came out of the blue and blasted a cop dead, clear across the street! It wasn't noble, it wasn't rational, it was just me being a damn idiot, and I'm so sorry you lost Daniel because of that. I wasn't thinking of anyone but the two of us, and I'm sorry. It's totally fair that you blamed me. Daniel talked about you almost every day. He missed you so much and there was never a damn thing I could do about it. He said he thought he let you down, that he wasn't sure he was a good friend anymore." Sean did his best not to cry in front of the camera, but it still came out audibly.

Noah turned his head to the side, and said quietly, "I guess that makes sense, then."

Sean looked up in reaction to that, having no more words, just knowing he had to listen to whatever Noah had to say next.

"I know it wasn't fair to blame you, and I worked on it, I really did. I couldn't touch Minecraft for two months, and when I finally did, I had a meltdown, caught my parents' attention that night, almost deleted our whole sever, but they stopped me from doing that too. They told me it was important to keep it, that it was an important part of my memories with him. I went to therapy, grief counseling. Things got better. I stopped being so angry at you, then stopped being angry at myself for thinking I could have done anything about, well, anything. Then the news came that you turned yourself in, and that Daniel was maybe going to come home. I was too young. I didn't really understand everything that was happening then about the courts and custody and foster care. I was getting angry all over again. I just wanted my best friend to come home and I didn't get why he couldn't. When he finally went to Beaver Creek, I thought I'd find him back on Minecraft eventually. I waited and I checked almost every single day. It hurt every time he wasn't there. Then, on his birthday the following spring, there he was! I was so excited. We played all our old games, we logged back onto Minecraft and fixed up the old server, but Daniel wasn't chatty. He wouldn't even really talk to me at all outside of just doing work in-game. So the next day, I tried hopping on a video chat. I knew he was there, but I called three times before he answered, and the Daniel who did, I didn't even recognize. He wouldn't look at me. I could barely get him to speak above a whisper. It was like he was afraid of me, afraid of being my friend again," Noah's eyes welled up. "So, I begged my parents to take me down to Beaver Creek. We looked up Claire and Stephen's number, talked to them ahead of time. Then we came. It took a lot of talking, with a lot of gaming in between. Daniel told me everything that happened, told me that it changed him a lot, and maybe I wouldn't like who he was now. I told him that was ridiculous. I told him that I still saw the Daniel who was awesome at building traps, who would laugh at my stupid jokes, who never stopped rubbing it in my face when he beat my high scores. I just wanted him back, the same or different. I didn't care. Eventually he did open up to me about his power, showed it to me at the end of the visit. He introduced me to Chris. They swore me into the pact to keep Superwolf's secret, to keep him safe from the hunters. I never took anything as a kid more seriously than that. I never wanted to see Daniel hurt like that ever again!"

Sean had stopped trying to hide how red his face was. "Noah, it means the world to me that you guys protected him when I couldn't. Seriously. Why are you telling me all this, though?"

"Because of what started happening after that," Noah transitioned smoothly. "We gamed as much as we did before, if not more. Even more than that though, we started talking, about games, yes, but about everything else too. We started talking more about school, about stuff at home, about stuff that stressed us out, stuff that worried us, stuff that made us happy, mad. It wasn't like therapy or anything, it was just being able to be so open about stuff with someone I cared about. I never would have even thought to talk about that kind of stuff with Daniel before, never thought that I even could. That was the change I saw in him. It's like…he cared more about everything. He cared more about our games, about me, about school, and he always wanted to help me or Chris any time he thought either of us were struggling with something. So the reason I'm telling you all this, is because I think that was all because of you, Sean. I won't pretend I fully understand everything that happened to you guys out there, but whatever it all was, somewhere along the line, you made Daniel an even more awesome person than he already was. So, I guess what I'm trying to say is, thank you, for not only giving me Daniel back, but making us even better best friends." Noah turned his back to the screen. Sean could hear what sounded like Noah slapping his cheeks as if to snap himself out of being all emotional, and he managed himself a smile and light chuckle.

When Noah turned back, Sean spoke next, voice breaking uncontrollably. "That might be the most amazing thing anyone's said to me in years, Noah. You don't know how much I've needed to hear something like that. God, Daniel's so lucky to have you! You're a lot cooler than I remember too." Noah laughed openly at this.

After a pause, Noah ended the call, saying, "Well, thanks for listening, Sean. You didn't have to and I'm so happy you did. I just wanted you to know the truth, man. See you in a few days." Noah waved with a warm expression on his face as he hung up.

"Holy cow, I thought only your sketchbook put you in this kind of trance! EARTH-TO-SEAN-DI-AZ!" a voice yelled, fingers snapping on every syllable.

Sean jumped and turned around. "W-woah! Sorry, Lyla, how long was I out?"

"Uh, long enough for me to say hello like four times, and, crickets. We still on for open skate while the boys are having their fun?"

"Definitely. You didn't have to buy both of us new skates, you know."

"It's a fucking Christmas gift to myself and to you, plus, you deserve some nice things, Sean, especially for living in that rat motel you do now," Lyla asserted.

"Always the straight talker," Sean mused.

"Yeah, yeah, let's straight talk on the ice, loser!" Lyla quipped.

The outdoor ice rink in their part of town was just in the parking lot adjacent to laser tag. Naturally then, Sean and Lyla would often arrange open skate for themselves whenever Sean knew ahead of time that he'd be bringing Daniel up here. He saw no reason for this occasion to be any different, and in this case, it was a great excuse to catch up. The rink was still decorated for Christmas. The ice was almost one and a half Olympic sheets to accommodate what was often hordes of people. Just a couple days after the holiday though, this was much less the case. The large pines outlined the perimeter between the gates, festooned in red and silver tinsel, green and purple bulbs, ornaments of every shape, size, and theme you could think of, mostly done by locals.

"Man, I missed this so much. Beats Christmas with Claire and Stephen any day."

"Yeah, it doesn't take years in the Big House to change your perspective on your lame-ass home, just the years," Lyla agreed. "So…..you mean, Daniel was really going to…?"

"Yeah," Sean affirmed sadly about what happened a month or so ago during their camping trip.

"But then you….?"

"Yeah," Sean nodded.

"Shit! That's fucking deep!" Lyla and Sean's gaze met as they made their nth circuit around the rink, hand in hand. "There's really nothing you two wouldn't do for each other, is there?" Lyla asked in amazement.

"Nothing," Sean said reverently, "We're…..each other's world. I'm just happy he has more in his now than me."

Lyla gave Sean a hard look, their eyes still locked. "You know, Sean," Lyla paused, searching for the right phrasing. "The first time I visited Daniel in Beaver Creek, you're all he could talk about, and it wasn't about the border, the fact that you were in jail, or really anything about what happened out there. It was just about how much you meant to him, how much your time together had changed him. I could see it, right there, plain as day. Daniel came back with a ton of you in him. It was so much of you, in fact, that I almost felt like you were around through him. She paused again and frowned, "Then I got worried. I started thinking, 'What if Sean gave up so much of himself to Daniel that there's nothing left of the Sean I knew when he gets out?' I kept it to myself. I didn't think that was a fair question to a traumatized ten-year-old. When you got out early, I knew I had to be at Jolena. That day, that hug, I was so relieved, the same way I felt those couple times you called me. I knew I hadn't lost you." Lyla's voice cracked as she wiped her eyes, but her smile was slowly coming back. "There was something else too though. I could see it right away, even during those stressful weeks of getting you moved into your place. I could see more of Daniel in you too!" Lyla stressed.

"What? No way, I'm not good enough to have any of him in me," Sean rebuked.

"Yes, you are, Sean!" Lyla insisted, frustrated by her best friend still thinking so little of himself. "Look at Humboldt! You put yourself way out there for a girl and a guy. That's not the Sean that was rehearsing terrible pickup lines for Jenn in the bathroom before that party. Like, fifteen-year-old Sean would have thought you were out of our fucking mind! Daniel did for you what Lyla the love witch has been trying to get you to for freakin' years, open up! I mean, you came out, for cripes sake! I didn't think you'd ever do that in a million years!"

Sean flinched, "Huh, is that so? Well you know, speaking of that, you still owe me for that cake! It's bad juju to out somebody without their permission, you know," Sean half jested.

"Pfft, as if! I told you, your grandma didn't know anything!"

"You don't know that. She could…...look it up…"

Lyla shook her head incredulously, smile fully returned. "You're incredible, Sean Diaz. You've been in the slammer for years and you STILL sweat the small stuff when you get out. Guess your brain is just hardwired for it.

"Oh yeah?" Sean grinned, pivoting himself behind her, one arm around her waist, the other holding her hand. "You know what else I've got hardwired up here?" He started gaining speed, Lyla following his lead almost by instinct.

"S-Sean, are you su – AHHH!" Too late, Sean had already convinced her. They leaned forward into a smooth glide down half the rink, then crouched low and let the rest of their momentum carry them in a power turn back the way they came. Catching her breath, she looked up at him, putting a hand to his chest. "I…..didn't know you remembered how to do that," she huffed.

Sean stroked her hair, his expression affectionate, but somehow sad as he told her quietly, "Ever since I got out of Jolena, it's been like…..everything that was good about my life here is magnified a hundred times, in memory and in thought. "But, I still feel like something's missing, and I need to get out there to find it."

Lyla's eyes were darting from point to point, as if she could read Sean's face like a map. "Then I think you should do that, Sean. Just, take one more piece of advice from your best friend." Sean nodded. "Whatever you go looking for out there, just make sure it's yours, that you own it, and you're proud of it. Because that's all I've ever wanted for you. It doesn't have to be the same as what your dad, your mom, Brody, Daniel, or anybody else has or had. It should be yours, and only yours."

"Thanks, Lyla. I think I finally understand what that means. I just have to be sure….Daniel's ready for me to take my own journey.

"I think you'll know when he is, and I think….he'll show you when he's ready."

Sean tilted his head, thought about that for a moment, then nodded. "Yeah, you're probably right. He's pretty much shown me everything else when it's important."

After a while of skating around wordlessly, Lyla broke the silence, saying, "So, the wolf brothers aside, do you think there'll be any more room for me in the story of Sean Diaz?" Lyla looked up from their pair's hold.

Sean burst out laughing, "Are you for real? Lyla, it doesn't matter where I end up, or who I end up with. You're fucking stuck with me, guy, girl….or furry suit."

"I FUCKING KNEW IT!" Lyla cackled. After that subsided, they did a couple more laps, Lyla's head resting on his shoulder, before walking off, and going to get the laser tag boys.

"So, how'd you guys do?" Sean asked, meeting them back at the main desk.

"NOAH'S A LASER TAG GOD!" Chris exclaimed in wonder. "It was Daniel and I against him all, like, ten rounds and he won like seven of em!"

Noah allowed himself a gloating expression, "Green Goblin's still king, baby, but young Superwolf has trained Captain Spirit well. I have nothing more I can teach you in this arena," all three laughed.

"You didn't, you know, do anything in there did you?" Sean folded his arms toward Daniel.

"Just once, and it was only to help Chris out of a quick bind," Daniel said innocently.

"The straps on my gun got loose, it fell to the floor. Daniel picked it up, shot Noah before he could shoot me, then strapped it back on me. It was really quick, probably didn't even look that abnormal on the cameras.

"And that's not even a round they won," Noah interjected, smiling.

Sean sighed, "Well that's fair, I guess."

"Hey!" Lyla cut in, reaching into her purse. "What do you boys say we update this photo?"

Daniel and Noah gasped, their hearts both skipping a beat.

"Oh yeah, like I was going to let those assholes throw this into public storage," Lyla sneered. "I've got most of the rest of the photos from the house too, I'll go through them with Sean soon. Just didn't want them all mixed up in the rat motel."

Sean looked on, equally shocked at this revelation. "You're too fucking good to us, Lyla." Sean lamented.

"I fucking know that, duh! Like I said though, Sean, you deserve nice things. You too Daniel," she said with a grin. Daniel blushed hard.

They took the new laser tag picture, Daniel centered in the red suit, Noah to the left in green, Chris to the right in yellow, the purple streaks in his hair popping a contrast against the suit. They all sent it to each other's phones. They had lunch, Lyla headed home, hugging Sean and Daniel goodbye. Sean drove the boys back to Beaver Creek, caught up with Stephen and Claire a little more, then returned to his beloved rat motel. Lying in bed that night, staring lovingly and thoughtfully at the laser tag photo, Sean thought, "Yeah, Daniel's ready to rock it." Finally, he turned off the lights, rolled over, and slept.

Chapter 5: Discovery

Summary:

When Daniel first returned to Beaver Creek, Chris and Noah helped him explore an important truth about his powers he had only started to learn about before the border.

Chapter Text

It was about seven o'clock Saturday night, when the doorbell rang. Claire walked cautiously to the door, unlocked, and opened it. The cold air of the New Year drafting mercilessly into the house, prompting the old woman to shield herself momentarily and grab a shawl from the nearby coat rack. "Hi, Mrs. Reynolds!" Chris greeted, waving up at her, fully adorned in his Captain Spirit armor. "Is Daniel upstairs?"
"He sure is, go on up, but remember to WIPE YOUR FEET AND TAKE OFF YOUR SHOES!" Claire sternly reminded the boy. He did as he was told and promptly ran up to Daniel's room.
"Thanks for letting him sleep over, Claire. I just wanted to make sure he got another chance to before getting dropped off at his grandparents'…again," Charles finished a bit guiltily, stepping forward, but looking down.
Claire motioned him inside and closed the door, desperately needing a reprieve from the winter air. "Charles, you have nothing to apologize for! This is the most help you've ever gotten, and you know it's helping. We all see it, and it's the single most important thing Chris needs you to be doing right now, so think nothing of it!"
"I know, and I see it too, it's just, I know I've been ungrateful and at times I've lashed out at you and Stephen almost as much as I have to Chris. You've tried to be nothing but helpful the past couple years and I only ever resented it. I just wanted to tell you that while I have a clear head for once….and a guilty conscience."
"You're fighting for your son, Charles, you're trying to make things right. That is all anyone can ever do. The rest is up to Him. He'll see you through this, you just have to let him."
Charles paused, never quite being able to find the right words whenever Claire got all religious on him. He looked up, and his eyes brightened slightly, "Well, if He works through people like you, I guess he can't be all bad," he half smiled, hoping she wouldn't feel too slighted by the attempt.
Claire managed a faint chuckle and sighed, returning his half smile, "I guess I'll take it," she resigned. Charles handed off Chris' night bag, put up his hood, and quickly opened and closed the door. Claire watched him go, jogging back to the house. As always, she was worried, but hopeful. It was the strongest glimmer of hope she'd seen from Charles or Chris for that matter, in quite some time. About half an hour later, the boys complained of being hungry, so Claire fixed them some non-microwave mac and cheese with hot dog slices.
"Ah, man, I was really hoping for pizza. It is going to be my last sleepover for a while," he lamented.
"You know my rule, Chris. When you're under my roof, you only eat food that will make you grow UP, not OUT, 'ya hear?"
"We know, Grandma," Daniel griped back." After both had finished their bowls, Daniel raised his arm from under the table and motioned to open the upper cupboard where Claire's cookies were. Without looking up, Claire grabbed the rolling pin at her side and jabbed the cupboard shut, holding it at the end. She spun on her grandson.
"Nice try, kiddo! You might have those….magic…..powers of yours, but I still have eyes in the back of my head, and they may be old, but make no mistake, I will use them, even against your…higgledy-piggledy!" Claire admonished. She turned back to the sink and resumed the dishes. "I will make a deal with you two though," she abruptly added on. "If you guys stay quiet, you can stay up until Stephen and I go to bed ourselves, deal?"
Daniel and Chris exchanged glances and grins, excited to have the extra time to themselves without being bothered, "Deal!" both exclaimed in unison. They played a little Playbox, watched a Hawtdawg Man movie, and by about 9:15, they headed up to the bedroom to wind down. Ever since Daniel was able to come back to Beaver Creek, they had done sleepovers so often that Stephen had reconfigured the room to accommodate another twin bed. Chris was drawing an update to Team Spirit. He hadn't actually drawn Superwolf with the rest of the original crew yet, and that just couldn't stand! Daniel had earphones in, listening to music. Chris got up to go to the bathroom and wash up for the night. Claire and Stephen had gone to bed and in keeping with the deal, they were going too. When Chris got back into the bedroom though, he knew they weren't going to sleep just yet. Daniel had pulled the photos out from under his bed. These were all old photos that Claire had kept of the early years of the brothers. They were all freshly tear-stained. In a moment, all the photos had floated out of the box, and started rotating around Daniel in a carousel. He would grab one, stare at it for a few seconds, and the tears would fall on it. Repeat until the carousel had gone through at least two revolutions. Chris had seen Daniel do this countless times since coming home last August, and it never got any easier for him to watch. He understood what it was. It was Daniel's own secret treasure, a lot like his. So, he knew what to do. He would grab his latest comics including always the newest HawtDawg Man issue, crawl into Daniel's bed, lay them at their heads, and wait there quietly for his friend, trying not to cry along with his cries, but just being present, being there for him.
Daniel had given up trying not to cry in front of Chris. It made him feel better and Sean had taught him, especially after Haven Point, that boys could cry too, that it was okay and that actually not crying when you needed to, was bad. So, he let himself cry until he didn't need to anymore. Then Chris would tap him gently on the arm and say, "Comics or coloring?" Daniel turned over to face Chris, smiled, and motioned for the colored pencils and Chris' sketchbook to come drifting from the other bed. "Good, I need help with the details on Silver Runner, is that cool?" Chris asked tentatively, fully aware he may have just proposed a very sensitive idea.
Daniel sniffled, but smiled and nodded, "The coolest!"
After a while, Chris piped in hesitantly with a thought, "My mom…she used to tell me that it's important for how you feel to go into your art. It helps you, uh," he searched for the words, "know yourself."
"Maybe you need to do that, Daniel," Chris continued, "Maybe you need to do that with your power! I think it might help you understand it better. Maybe it will even help with…..S-Sean."
Daniel thought this through. It was true. He missed his brother so much, he couldn't even describe the pain, but there was something else too. He was crying because he thought that…..that day at the border, after they surrendered, his big brother had lost something, not just his freedom, something more important than that. Daniel was still only ten. He didn't even understand why he felt this way, only that he did, and only that he felt it was up to him to fix it. Claire and Stephen had started taking him to church, real church, not like Lisbeth's church. A real faith journey, a real faith community. He had thought maybe that was the problem, that, like Claire had told him, Sean's spirit was lost, and maybe couldn't be found again. This didn't seem right to Daniel though. His brother was the strongest person in the world. A spirit that strong couldn't be lost, could it? No. So Daniel needed to do something. He wasn't sure what exactly, just something.
Daniel looked straight at Chris, "We'll do it together, right?" Team Spirit all-in?"
"Always, Superwolf! Always!" Chris declared. Then, Chris returned to his own bed, lights were turned off, and the deal with Claire had been done perfectly.
"Daniel!" Claire called, "DANIEL! It's breakfast time! Come and eat!"
"C'MON, DIAZ!" Noah chimed in from downstairs. "I didn't come all the out here for you to sleep in all weekend!" Loud footsteps came tromping up the stairs. Daniel turned over on his stomach, plopped his pillow over his head, stuck his arm out toward the door, and held it fast. "Dude, you know we'll just break the door again if we do this," Noah warned. Daniel sighed in resignation and let go. Noah came busting in, grabbing Daniel's mattress and flipping him out of it.
"WHOOA!" Daniel exclaimed as he hit the floor.
Noah laughed and shook his head. "Still can't catch yourself, huh, Superwolf?" Noah snarked.
Daniel smirked, "No, but maybe you can!" Daniel yanked all the loose sheets on the floor together and sent them flying and wrapping around Noah, mummifying him up to his neck.
"Hey!" Noah giggled, "Let…me…..go….doofus! AHHH!" Daniel pulled the wrappings tight, forcing Noah's feet together, tripping him softly to the floor. Then all the sheets fell away. Noah was still giggling, "You douchebag, you think you're so cool." Done using his powers, Daniel smiled and gave Noah his hand to get up.
Daniel got dressed, and as they were leaving the room, he paused and said, "Noah?"
Noah looked back, "Yeah, man?"
Daniel's voice was soft and small, "Thanks…for….being my friend again. I missed you." His head was turned away, embarrassed.
Noah turned, swallowed, then put his hand on Daniel's shoulder, "Me too, Daniel, but I never stopped being your friend just 'cause of all that bull crap, got it? You never let me down, not then, not ever."
Daniel nodded. "The only way you let me down now is by sleeping the day away!" Noah jested.
"Man, summer school makes me so tired!" Daniel exclaimed with a yawn to follow.
"You're doing great though, dude! Now with the extra credit you're getting with our real Minecraft fortress, you'll be caught up in no time!" The boys hurried downstairs and sat down at the table promptly.
"Stuff was almost getting cold, you two, and you know how I feel about that!" Claire lightly admonished. She sighed, "You boys are gonna ruin all the bedding I have for Daniel if you keep up like that," she said, wagging her finger. The boys finished eating and quickly ran for the door. No time to waste on a beautiful Saturday in June! Noah and Daniel hurried over to Chris' house. Seeing that Chris and Charles were already in the backyard, they ran to meet them.
"Dad, I don't know if you should –," Chris began.
"It's FINE, Chris, I can fucking do it, God!" Chris looked down. Daniel quickly stepping to Chris' side and putting his arm around him. Noah hung back, understanding this wasn't his place, but he couldn't keep the fear out of his gaze upward. Charles placed the ladder against the side of the house. The gutters were filthy, and the summer rain was starting to be a big problem, so it was time to clean. Charles got up to the roof, his gait noticeably affected by an all too familiar influence. He was about halfway through one side when he lost his footing, falling forward toward the ground. Daniel did it without thinking and the next second, Charles was hanging upside down by his feet still hanging onto the edge of the roof. "MOTHER FUUUUUCK!" Charles roared. Noah stepped behind Daniel, mirroring Chris as they both held a shoulder. Daniel closed his eyes tight, reminding himself the swearing, the anger wasn't directed at anyone in particular, but it still hurt. He set Charles upright, and then down on the ground.
Charles stumbled toward the house. "Dad," Chris prompted.
"Oh, uh, yeah," Charles waved passively toward Daniel, "Thanks…" He headed inside; the sounds of heaving at the toilet followed soon after.
Daniel turned to Chris, his eyes sad and worried, saying everything that needed to be said.
"He….really is doing better….really…It's just…..the games, and there was one on earlier this morning," Chris said forlornly.
From back out on the street, there came a honk from a truck. Stephen put it in park and got out to meet the boys. "Looks like Charles had another episode, huh? Everybody okay?"
"Yeah, Grandpa," Daniel affirmed. "I had to, 'ya know…."
Stephen exhaled sharply. "Well, the last thing we need around here right now is anyone else getting hurt, so good job, Daniel, but keep being careful! Anyway, you boys ready for your day? I think everyone could use some fun after that!" The boys rushed to the truck, Stephen grinning and following behind.
Claire made arrangements for Daniel to do extra course work to catch up as much as he could since coming to Beaver Creek. Now he was taking summer school on top of all of it and he was on track to not have to repeat his grade after basically missing an entire school year. It really sucked and it was super hard, especially with math still, but Stephen had him pretty covered there. He really didn't want to repeat a grade, he really didn't want to try to explain to other kids why. Even more, he wanted to feel like a normal eleven-year-old. He wanted as much of his life back as he could manage, and then some. He didn't want to totally forget being on the road with Sean either, though. A lot of it had been pretty awesome, in spite all the bad stuff. So, one of the things he decided to do since he had to do all this extra schoolwork anyway was something just for himself - learn some Spanish. The school was more than happy to encourage and support this, so they gave him a basic workbook. They told him this is worth extra credit too, but they wouldn't make it a required part of his load. He could learn at his own pace. Chris had joined him in the summer sessions too because, well, school hadn't been the easiest thing to focus on with how things had been going at home this year.
The "real" Minecraft fortress had started as another extra credit project for science. The challenge was to build as many working examples of simple machines as possible. So, the boys had gone to town scraping up any materials they could find, asking for any random help and other supplies adults around Beaver Creek would spare them. Stephen was more than willing to participate, and his connections to people had paid off many times in the building of this thing. Old tire swings, wooden levers rigged to wooden shutters that opened and closed, pulleys holding rocks for counterweight or small baskets to ride up and down in. Monkey bars, wedges used to bend out climbing footholds, see-saws rigged to trap door covering secret compartments dug in the ground. A random treasure trove of any Minecrafter kid's dream. After they'd submitted the video demonstrating the very innovative but also very normal and conglomeration of contraptions, they started converting it into a different kind of playground for, what else but Daniel's power. Stephen, being their number one conspirator in chief, had found an old pole barn on the outskirts of town so overgrown with brush that no one could hardly even see it was there anymore. In fact, thanks to the power itself, the boys were able to just keep all the brush cover in place and Daniel would just push it out of the way when they needed to go in. The place was initially filthy, but a couple hardware store runs and telekinesis made short order of it.
Today, the boys were mainly there for maintenance and to goof off. Noah was still the master builder of the three, and with him visiting Beaver Creek every once in a while, now, they took every opportunity they could to increase their masterpiece's cool factor! "Take the toolkit out of the back, remember?" Stephen called after them as they hopped out of the truck. "Daniel, you have your phone? You know the drill. Answer if we call and check in before supper time! I'll be back to pick you guys up then!"
"Thanks, Grandpa, love you!" Daniel called after Stephen.
They walked up to the entrance, Daniel spreading his arms, pulling apart a large swath of the brush, leading the group inside, closing the natural barrier behind them. Everything was just as they left it. First order of business were some cogs, nuts and bolts they knew had come loose on some of the pullies and pillars from last time. Everything that needed work was high up and at odd angles, too high up for three ten or eleven-year-olds, under normal circumstances, that is. All three had acquainted themselves with the experience of working in mid-air, and it was one of the freakin' coolest things they'd ever learned to do! Daniel couldn't lift himself, true, but Noah and Chris had come up with a clever workaround. They took to calling it, "TK Surfing," where they would get a solid crate or stool for Daniel to stand on, and he would lift that from underneath himself. Yeah, this took a lot of practice. Claire had been pretty upset the couple times Daniel came home with a broken wrist or a twisted ankle while he got the hang of this. Stephen had helped her keep perspective and reminded her that considering how strong his powers were getting, they were probably lucky it was only small bones he was breaking. Now he was pretty good at it. He would get himself up first, then bring Chris and Noah. They worked, he mostly supervised, occasionally helping out if something could comfortably be done with one hand.
"Hey, did you guys hear the new Mustard Party is coming out in a few months?" Chris started the midair conversation.
"Yeah, I hear it's gonna have a girl HawtDawg…wo-man?" Noah raised his eyebrow in hesitation.
"Ew! Are they gonna be like, boyfriend and girlfriend? Married? Are they gonna kiss? How would that even work? Gross!" Daniel scowled in disapproval.
"I thought you said your brother –" Noah started.
"Yeah man, but that's different! This is HawtDawg Man! That's just….no!" Daniel insisted.
They all laughed, continued random discussions about nothing, then they all got down.
"Alright, Superwolf! Time for Spirit Squad training!" Chris declared.
Noah ran several yards down the pole barn to retrieve the tennis ball shooter. Yes, this was for Oreo, but she was teething, so she was more interested in chewing at the moment than fetching, so they brought it here to make better use of it. "Okay, Daniel, remember, think, breathe, concentrate, feel," Chris instructed. Noah shot the first ball. Daniel thrusted a pointed finger forward, and the tennis ball sprang a leak, more off center than Daniel had wanted, but nonetheless falling to the ground as the center depressurized and deflated. The next ball, and Daniel looked up, arms hanging loosely by his sides. The ball came closer and started to fall. Daniel took a step back, flinched slightly, and stopped the ball just short of his chest. "Now, the toughie," Chris proclaimed. "Think you can do it on the fortress today?"
"I-I think I am. Yeah, the fortress will be fine," Daniel asserted.
"Daniel, remember, we're both here for you. You're not doing this alone anymore. If you don't feel comfortable, stop. We can always do it again another day," Noah assured him.
Daniel nodded. He closed his eyes. "Think," Daniel's small fists started to clench, the air started to bend and wave, heavier and faster. He was calling up the strongest of his powers in what was still the only way he knew how. Tears started rolling down Daniel's cheeks. "Breathe," Daniel inhaled, and spread his tiny frame to its full length, arms and legs outstretched. "Concentrate." Daniel starts to move the energy inside him, feeling it circulate continuously and stay that way. "Feel." He has control. He stills the air contorting around him, calm, as he thinks, "You are not a monster. You are not a bomb. You are Daniel Diaz, you are here, you are good." Daniel walks to the fortress. Stares for a moment, then exhales and releases. Every movable piece of the fortress triggers. Every lever pulled, every teeter totter flipped, every pulley raised or lowered, every trap door and wooden shutter opened. Exhausted, but still conscious, Daniel collapses in a heap. Chris quickly grabs a water canteen out of his backpack and runs to Daniel. Noah goes to reset the fortress, at least what he can reach for the moment.
"You finally did it, Superwolf, you're the best!" Chris praised.
Daniel took a large gulp of water, "Only because Team Spirit has the best Captain, Daniel said quietly, eyes bright with pride.
When Daniel had regained some stamina, Noah asked, "So how does it all feel?"
"It's getting easier to switch between them," Daniel responded. "I'm gonna need a lot more practice to use this stuff for real."
"What about the "special project?" Noah tilted his head.
"It's…..not ready yet," Daniel replied.
"You've been saying that for months, but I've seen you make the shapes," Noah pressed.
"Yeah, I can shape stuff, but I can't hold it for long or, really do anything with it yet."
"But why not?" Noah continued.
Chris suddenly grabbed Noah's arm, turning the other boy's attention to him.
"Because it's not for us, remember? It's for…..him."
Noah sighed and nodded in acknowledgement, "Yeah, I know."

Chapter 6: Runner's Light

Summary:

Daniel comes clean about the past as the wolf brothers look to the future.

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Daniel was giddy, genuinely excited in a way he hadn't been in a long time. His eyes darted from one pristinely white slope after another as he and Sean road up Chair 8 on the Shuksan side of Mount Baker. It was late April, after the chaos of Mount Baker's Easter family week, but just before closing for the season – a lot less people around that way. He had planned this trip for months, yes as a birthday gift to himself, but also as a personal celebration of he and his big brother being back together. There were other things to celebrate too. Now at peace with himself about Sean and the border, Daniel was able to come back to his senses and resume PSEO and early admission at Washington State. He had reapplied to the latter, and they had accepted. Sean, almost literally taking a page out of Daniel's book, had decided to finish his GED, feeling good about being able to close a chapter left open on his teen hood for far too long.
It was a comfortable day, even for being on a mountaintop. The wind seemed to whip from every direction, but they had both bought all new gear for this trip, well, except for the skis themselves. Hands down the best things they had saved from that horrible storage locker, Sean and Daniel had maybe the happiest moment they'd had since Sean came home when they realized this was possible: Daniel now fit Karen's skis, and Sean fit Esteban's. This, they both agreed, was the only good twist of fate they had experienced since all their pain began, and it was unbelievably cathartic for them both.
Sean had also taken in the beauty of the mountain that Esteban had promised to bring them to so long ago. He'd done a quick sketch at the lodge before they got going. He knew he'd want to remember this forever. He still couldn't believe it had happened. When Daniel first brought up the idea, Sean dismissed it, thought it was crazy. He reminded Daniel how dangerous it was with his depth perception. Since coming back, Sean had started noticing something about his little brother that was positively baffling to him. At some point, he had developed a much stronger knack for planning ahead (when he wanted to). So, he had done exactly that here. Apparently, there'd been a trend of more ski resorts in recent years engaging in programs offering courses and specialized training to encourage the visually impaired to ski recreationally. Since Sean now fell quite obviously into that group, Daniel decided to take full advantage. He arranged as many practice sessions with the trainers as he could. They did all of the sessions together, except a couple that required one on one instructor time. Daniel even bought a kind of audio beacon, normally intended for the actually blind, but the trainers had suggested it would help keep Sean on course if Daniel skied ahead with it on. Sean let out a small huff of disbelief thinking about all this, about how truly amazing Daniel was. He still wasn't sure how much of it had actually been his doing, but Daniel had already made his feelings pretty clear about that, so now, Sean was just trying to convince himself of something the younger one already knew.
In this moment though, as his eye stayed fixed on Daniel for most of the lift ride, Sean saw more of the little guy he used to know. The minecrafter. The fort builder. The innocent one who'd grown up way too fast, but yet, stayed strong the whole way, a lot stronger than Sean had been at times himself, he admitted.
"What?" Daniel chuckled, catching Sean staring.
"Nothing," Sean waved it off, "Just, thanks for doin' this, Daniel. It's super cool."
Daniel looked suddenly sullen, and for a moment, Sean kicked himself for killing his brother's great mood, but then Daniel explained, "Things….went way beyond 'not being nice' for us anymore, Sean. So I just wanted us to do something that could still remind us of….how we used to be."
Sean moved closer to Daniel, gently setting a hand on one shoulder, "You already have, dude. We'll rock today and give it a great finish!"
The lift came to the top of the run. The brothers disembarked, and prepped. Secured to their skis, all clothing layers sealed for maximum warmth, Sean and Daniel positioned themselves to start on the route. The plan was an intermediate blue run, heading down to Raven Hut Lodge, a course their training had certified for them. Sean stood several paces behind Daniel, watching as he took a deep breath and turned on the audio beacon. It made a loud and steady mid-pitched beep every three seconds, enough to catch turns on this relatively long-curved course. Daniel took off, Sean following a few seconds after. In addition to the beacon, Daniel was using a small, continuous stream of his power to exaggerate the snow in his wake on either side, giving Sean an extra visual cue to gauge his boundaries. Joey had made emphasized the depth perception, but Sean had found the peripheral vision to be a lot harder to deal with. Sometimes he turned his head so much these days, his neck would cramp. This was all really helping though. It made Sean really happy and proud that Daniel had gotten so clever with his powers, and at last, in so many benevolent ways. Daniel seemed much more at peace with it too. They continued downslope, Sean only occasionally tapping or hitting poles and flags, but managing to never run into them head-on. Then, as they came to the intersection between three blue runs, another skier from the farthest run came haphazardly crossing over, losing control and balance, headed straight for Daniel very quickly. Instinctively, he raised an arm to try and gently steady them, but he underestimated how fast they were coming. The skier knocked Daniel sideways, and with no time to stop his power, the edge of his ski catches and his arm flings toward Sean as he falls, both of his ski poles flying back, out of reach, then sending both brothers careening toward the nearby cliffs beyond the black runs. Sean is trying desperately now to stop himself, but they both fell in a clearing between here and the cliffs and there's just nothing there! He doesn't know how far behind Daniel is, but he felt the very edge of Daniel's accidental push knock him sideways before he hit the ground. Sean was terrified, everything was a blur. As the cliff edge came to meet him, he reached out and caught the ledge for just a second, but it wasn't enough. He started to fall down the cliffside to the lower resort waiting a deadly drop below.
Daniel had managed to slow himself somehow, an adrenaline driven combination of one pole he had left and whatever small pulses of counteractive power he could manage in his panicked state. He was only a dozen or so feet from Sean when he saw his brother disappear. He thought Sean had screamed, but realized it was him, a kind of scream he hadn't let out since that day in Seattle, to hear Sean retell it. Only this time, an uncontrolled blast of his power hadn't come, hadn't done anything to change the fact that he was about to lose the person who meant everything in the universe to him. The person he couldn't be himself without. He was about to lose him forever, unless he did something, unless he did that thing. There was no time to think, not about if anyone saw him, not about whether or not it was ready. It didn't matter. This was Sean. This was his big brother. He was worth everything, anything. Long shots had gotten them to that border. Long shots had kept them together when everything was trying to tear them apart. Another long shot would keep them together now. He swore it! It had to! "Think, breathe, concentrate," Chris' old refrain started in Daniel's mind. In a split second, Daniel shaped the air, drew the energy, raised his arms, and with a downward swing and a desperate cry, sent a brilliant flash of amber down the cliffside that would dare try to take the life of the elder wolf brother. He put his hands together at the fingertips, "Feel," the thought concluded, and Daniel began searching.
Sean was falling, terminal velocity by now, he figured. Long way down. "I hit that ground, that's it, el fin, muero," Sean relented in his final moments. "What will happen to everyone, to Daniel? Goodbye, enano, I'm sorry. Keep being the amazing person you are. You can do it. Dad and I will be watching."
Sean's vision was almost gone, everything was black. Then, from somewhere in the darkness, "Not yet, m'ijo."
"Dad?" Sean couldn't wipe the tears that were coming. "Where are you?"
"Siempre estoy acá, m'ijo, but you have to go back now. Daniel's got you. Go back to him! He still has to show you."
"Go back? Show me what? DAD! What's going on? If you're right here, come with me!" Sean was lost in a whirlwind of confusion and pain. Then, suddenly, he wasn't. His eye opened to a light, but this was no guide to an afterlife. Zigzagging ever closer to him from above was an amber light, a brilliant, formless beam except that at the head of this light was, "A wolf?" Sean finished the thought. "Daniel?" Sean was confounded. It had to be his power, but he'd never seen anything like this before. What in the world was it? How? Did it have something to do with what Daniel needed to show him? Sean raised his arms to his face, bracing himself for the familiar impact of Daniel's power, but when the light came, it was warm, gentle, protective, almost soothing. In the next instant, Sean shot upward, so fast he thought he might pass out again.
With every second that passed at the top of the ledge, Daniel was losing more and more hope. His tears were coming faster, stinging in the cold mountain air. The silent sobs were turning audible. Then, he felt it. He felt him. The connection he was almost certain he would never feel again. He lifted his hands so fast over his head, that Sean came rocketing up the cliffside with such speed, Daniel stumbled back and reached out an arm in normal power to stop Sean in midair and bring him safely down on his skis, which Daniel also promptly removed, later freeing himself from his own. Sean was very dizzy briefly, but recovered, abruptly feeling Daniel clinging to him so tightly it was as though it was all he could remember how to do. His eyes were wide, his breathing rapid and shallow. Reserves depleted; the younger brother had let himself fall into shock. Sean wrapped himself around Daniel in kind. "Shhhhh, enano. I'm here, you did it, you saved me! It's alright," Sean cooed. He pressed Daniel's head to his chest, letting him feel his own still-pounding heartbeat.
Daniel's respiration slowed, "S-Sean? I'm sorry, I couldn't stop it. I didn't know what to do! I…."
"It's over, Daniel, that's only like, the millionth life debt I owe you, right?" Sean smiled. "Hey though, I…..heard Dad down there, and he told me you had something to show me," Sean tilted his head questioningly.
"Uh, I think we should talk about this in –," Daniel began to say.
The sound of several snow mobiles came down the bend, a small ambulance appeared down at Raven's Hut. "You guys alright? We heard the audio beacon and then saw this weird light off the cliffs," the lead patrolman explained.
"Oh, uh, yeah, sorry, we just had an accident with some of my, uh, adaptive skiing equipment, you know, for my vision," Sean did his best to sell the cover story.
The patrolman gave a glance that Sean supposed was skeptical behind the shades.
"Well, looks like it did a number on you guys. Want a lift back to the lodge?"
"Yeah actually, that'd be perfect," Sean agreed.
Sean and Daniel were lying down in one of the bedrooms of the lodge. They'd spent the last half hour both telekinetically and not, rotating a bunch of ice packs they'd been given in and out of an ice bucket, trying to dull the aches and pains. Particularly for Daniel though, that wasn't what was hurting him most in this moment.
"Sean?" Daniel started; his throat tight.
Sean slowly turned on his other side with a low groan to face Daniel, but he wore a warm half smile and a cool gaze as he looked to him. "Yeah, enano?"
"It's been such a long time. I worked so hard on my powers while you were gone. So why can't I still figure out when and when not to use them?" Daniel's voice started to break.
Sean propped himself up on his arm. "Because you have a great heart, Daniel. You have a gift and you're trying to use it to help people. That's all I ever wanted you to do with it, and I'm so proud of you!" Sean got out of bed and walked to Daniel's, the latter sitting up and scooting over, wiping his eyes.
"But…..I just almost killed you, Sean!" Daniel cried out. Sean warily glanced back at the door out to the lounge, drawing Daniel in for a hug and hushing him gently.
"But you didn't. You….you're powerful enough now that you knew how to undo the accident. Because it was an accident, Daniel, just like so much shit has always been so out of our control! It hasn't been fucking fair for either of us. I know we both still beat ourselves up for everything we did to hurt each other!" Sean was crying even harder than Daniel had been now. "But, Daniel….I don't want us doing it anymore! It's bad for both of us, man," he said as he ran his sleeve down his face. If either of us are gonna have a chance at a future, we have to forgive ourselves. You taught me that since I've been back, now I think we should hold each other to it." Sean waited. Daniel took a deep breath, then nodded vehemently.
"Totally, Sean. That's all I've wanted for us too. I just…..needed to make sure you were with me."
"I am," Sean sniffled. "I'm sorry it took me so fucking long!" They both let themselves fall back, laying sideways on the bed, just listening to each other breathe for a time, joining hands almost subconsciously. After a few minutes, Sean broke the silence, sitting up and turning toward Daniel. Daniel followed, seeing the now puzzled expression on his big brother's face, knowing exactly the question about to come. So, without even waiting for it to be asked, Daniel cut in.
"I know we just got done saying, 'no more dwelling on the past,' but, I need to explain this. Remember that night in the tent, after our fight at the lake?"
Sean swallowed hard, "off course," he managed to huff out dryly.
"Remember how I told you that sometimes it does its own thing when I just feel like I want it to?" Again, Sean nodded, a hint of curiosity now working its way onto his face. "Well, turns out, there's a lot more to it than that," Daniel said reverently. "Really, it started in Haven Point," Daniel shivered slightly as he spoke the name of that place. Sean reached out almost involuntarily, ready to take Daniel in. These were both impulses that were somehow still with them, built in Away after all those nights of nightmares. Daniel gently pushed Sean's arm down though, as he assured him softly, "I'm okay," as he kept going.
"When Jacob brought me there and Lisbeth took me in, of course I loved everything she had to say, because it was everything I needed to hear. She had me convinced, at least on the surface, that I'd be happy there. I get it now. I may not have been using my powers to hurt anybody in flesh, but I guess, in mind and body, I was as monstrous as ever."
"Daniel, you can't fucking –", Sean started to rebuke his brother's berating himself, but Daniel put a hand on Sean's leg in response, "There's a point, let me finish, Daniel stared into Sean's eye sternly. Sean opened his mouth as if to say something more, then relented and went back to listening.
"Somehow, it's almost like my powers…knew she was wrong. Using my powers at that church, using them for her…it was hard. Using my powers never hurt me before, not even when they were new, and you and I were first training. Yet even so much as lifting a candle, or moving that damn cross, my whole body would throb, ache, sometimes even burn inside. When I was with Sarah, it was better, almost normal. No pain, no burning, no tiredness, just fun play," Daniel looked back up at Sean, "like us at the cabin," he smiled sadly. At night, though, I'd hurt no matter what. I remember I'd beg Lisbeth to let me take a warm bath every night, but she only let me a couple times a week. So most nights, I'd wrap myself in as many blankets as I could sneak out of the closet and try to sleep. Didn't work so well a lot of the time. Made me cry. I really missed you too, and that would make me cry even more. She noticed of course, don't know why she never got angry about it, always expected her to. She just kept pounding into my head during the day how sinful everything I left behind was. Every day, my powers hurt more. I got really good at hiding it, except the tiredness. Lisbeth at least let me nap when I needed to. Never thought I'd be so happy to nap at ten years old," he managed a tiny smirk.
"The day you and Mom came to get me, everything went back to the way it was. Blasting Nicholas off you was the best my powers had felt since I got there. I was with you again, and it's like, so was all my control."
Sean was fuming, his face red, cheeks wet yet again. Daniel put his forehead to Sean's, "Hey, no dwelling on the past, remember?" Daniel grinned. "The ending's a lot better! When Mom took us to Away and once I started feeling better, I decided I needed to play with my powers to try and figure out what happened to them at the church. That's the whole reason I started helping Joan, other than the fact that she was just so cool! One day, she told me something I never forgot. She said, 'Daniel, I think one day, you'll find out your powers don't just make art. They'll become your art!' I really loved that idea, and I think it was the first time I gave any real thought to my powers being important for more than just you and I or the people on the road. So, after I got back to Beaver Creek, I spent a lot more time being sad. It wasn't just because I didn't know when I'd see you outside a jail cell again. It was also because I was scared of how my powers would be without you again. One night, I was crying over Grandma and Grandpa's old photos of us for like the millionth time," Daniel tilted his head back and let himself tear up for a second. "Then Chris started talking about his mom and how he deals with it. He came up with the idea. He said that just like he grieves through his storytelling, the thing Emily always said made him so special, maybe I needed to grieve through the thing that makes me special."
"So, Chris and I took the idea and ran with it. When I was ready, I let Noah back in too, and he started helping. Together, we started experimenting with my powers and how they were driven by everything I was feeling, not just a desire to have it….do stuff. I figured out that if I thought about different people I loved, that I cared about, I could make it do different things. I could increase any aspect of it: precision, range, endurance, speed, strength, all that stuff. Noah and Chris always made sure it never went to my head. Whenever I started getting cocky, they'd dare me to use it on them in ways they knew I'd never be comfortable with. It always worked. They're both such awesome friends!"
Sean jumped in at this point, "It always made me feel better whenever you came to Jolena and told me what you were up to, even if you did leave out a lot of the details," Sean chuckled, "Now I guess I know why! I'm glad you had them, so you didn't need me." Daniel turned his head toward Sean again, his face suddenly stoic once more. Sean's smile faded a bit when saw the seriousness.
"Actually," he said quietly, "that's just it," Daniel whispered solemnly. "After a while, I got so close to Chris and Noah that my powers started…..changing because of them. Having Noah back in my life gave me a lot of new confidence, something my powers began turning into the ability to channel them through more than just my arms and hands. Chris kept me calmer and more centered than anyone else. He helped me figure out how to actively hold the power in without forcing it down."
At that moment, Sean's conversations with Noah and Lyla several months before flashed through his mind. They were right, Daniel had been waiting to show and tell him important things about his powers, about himself. Then, Sean's eyes went wide with a different realization and he spoke to it. "So, that night at the storage locker, with that asshole, Don…That's how you kept from blowing up? How you did everything? You were…..using new forms of your power?"
Daniel nodded, "I wasn't sure any of it was going to work. I was afraid I would blow up again, and this time we'd both be behind bars! Like I said though, you were back in my life, and that's the only thing that mattered to me that night, the only thing that made it work." Daniel smiled as his eyes glistened, laying his head now on Sean's shoulder. Daniel proceeded to give Sean more backstory on the Minecraft fortress. Then, he sat back up, and after a long, pensive pause, began by saying, "Like you said, we hurt each other a lot back then, and I used my powers to hurt you so many times," Daniel choked up. Then, he glanced over at Sean's jacket hanging near the door. A pocket opened, and Esteban's lighter came floating over. Sean watched, more in shock that Daniel would even want to touch this, than the fact that he'd just taken it out of his jacket without permission. The younger one let it hang in midair for a second, then grabbed it, fiddled with it, and then opened it, letting the flame burn as he finished his though. "I know Dad always yelled at you mostly for not letting me into your life more," Daniel reflected, closing the lighter and handing it to its rightful owner. "In spite of all those times I used it to hurt you, Sean, my biggest mistake with these powers was not letting you be a part of them. I was just a kid, you know. I thought I was entitled to be selfish with them. Later on, when after we all understood that my powers could grow like this, Chris and Noah pushed me see what would happen when I really focused on you. I'll be honest, I didn't want to, not because I didn't want to think of you. I thought about you more than anything. I just thought, 'My brother's the strongest person I know! What if I can't handle what my powers do with him in them?' So, I put if off, for a long time. I was so scared to try it.
"A couple years later, Mom called me. When her crying stopped, mine started. It was the day I found out Joan lost her battle. I was angry, but like everything else, I wanted to try and use it on my powers. So, I thought about what she said. I started trying to mold the energy, sculpt it into stuff. Tried to make her prediction come true. Seemed like the only way for me to pay proper respects. I worked on it all day long one day. Grandpa had to come drag me out of my room for all three meals that day. Chris was back at his grandparents again, so he couldn't help me when I needed him the most, but that's not his fault. Finally, after dinner, I broke. I couldn't do it. I could make the shapes, but not hold them. I usually don't cry loud enough for Grandpa and Grandma to hear, but I think the whole town could hear me balling my eyes out that night. Grandpa basically grabbed his tools and took the door off its hinges to get to me. I was way too upset to try and stop him. After he calmed me down enough, he listened to what I'd been trying to do and why. He stared at me for a long time. He looked as lost as I felt. Then, I saw those old eyes of his brighten and he said, 'Daniel…..let your brother help.' So, I did. I made the shape, the old spider sculpture. I almost lost it again, but then I added you, and that's when the beam came, the amber. The sculpture turned amber too. I could hold the shape, and as my hands moved, the beam and the sculpture moved. When I video chatted Noah and finally told him I'd figured out our "special project," he told me I'd figured out…uh….'zero-point energy'! I didn't that name. I call it, "runner's light," because it only works when I think of the best runner I know!"
"What I get now, is that these aren't just my powers, Sean. They're yours too. I control them, but they're only at their best when you're part of them. Understanding that is the only reason I was able to save you from those cliffs just now. So, in a way, you saved yourself, Sean. Because that's how strong you are! That's how I know now that these powers can't make me a monster, because I share them with you. If the only reason I have them is to protect the people I love by showing the world how strong my big brother makes me, that's enough, more than enough."
Sean pulled Daniel into a fierce hug, giving his little brother a long kiss on the head. "You're incredible, Daniel! I still don't understand why I deserve you."
Daniel looked up, "Igualmente, hermano, ¡pero no importa!"
Sean's eyes bulged, and he laughed loudly, re-tightening his hug.
"Tienes razón, enano. It doesn't matter at all!"

Notes:

Spanish phrases and words used (in order of appearance)
Muero: I die.
Siempre estoy acá: I'm always right here.
Igualmente, hermano, pero no importa: Same, brother, but it doesn't matter.
Tienes razón: You're right.

Chapter 7: Epilogue

Summary:

Sean and Daniel explore their own paths, but the wolf brothers are forever.

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Mid-August, the week after Sean's birthday, the brothers had driven once again down to Trout Springs and camped out another night in that place that for them was becoming more timeless each time they went, even more magical. They had just finished moving Daniel into an apartment on the Washington campus, arrangements made through the early admission program. At this point, Daniel had more work to do here than to finish things up at Beaver Creek high, so it was decided it would make more sense for him to commute back home when necessary than to commute up here almost every day. Now, Sean was getting ready for his own commute, a long one. "Are you sure you wanna do this?" Daniel pressed Sean anxiously. "I can go with you. I can always catch up on the first couple weeks later." "Nah, man," Sean shook his head. "We're both on our own journeys now. You don't wanna miss the start of college. You'd regret it forever. We've sacrificed a lot to be together. Now we need to sacrifice time together to work on ourselves, Daniel. I want to see the world when we're not running! I want to meet people, old and new, without staring over my shoulder every minute! I want new experiences and old haunts. I want all those same things for you too, but I want you to do and find those things your own way." Daniel nodded, but his worry was still getting the better of him. "You've still got a record. What if….what if they try to come after you again and we're not there to protect each other?" "Daniel, the hunters will always be out there. So will the coyotes. We can't let them win by living our lives in fear. If all the shit we went through taught us anything, it's that fear runs the world! Well, fear's not gonna stop the wolf brothers, right?" Again, Daniel nodded. "But, what if you find Finn, or Cassidy, or…someone else. What if you find a new life for yourself out there, without me?" Sean dropped the last of his luggage in his trunk, closed it, then took off his hiker's backpack and layed it against his car. "Daniel, I might find Finn, or Cassidy, or someone else to have a relationship with. I might even put a different roof over my head for a while, pero mi hogar siempre estará donde estás," Sean said emphatically. Daniel's lip quivered as they hugged. "Te amo, enano." "I love you more," Daniel barely managed to choke out, "Cuídate, hermano." They slowly let go and walked back to their cars, Daniel opening with just one eye on the handle and the other still on Sean. The older brother was sitting behind the wheel, window down, looking back, his own eye still fixed on Daniel, waving. Then the howl came from both of them, practically unbidden, and with that, they were both off. "Trabajo bien hecho, m'ijo." Esteban praised his eldest. "Thanks, Dad. Wasn't easy." "It's not supposed to be, m'ijo, but you did amazing. Now, what're you gonna do out here? I still think you should find a trade!" Sean smiled and sighed. "I dunno about a trade, Dad, but whatever it is, I promise I'll put my heart into it." "That's all I've ever wanted you to say," Esteban patted Sean on the back. Just then, an amber light came rushing over the car, and a little wolf landed a several feet ahead, staring back into the windshield at father and son. "Looks like he wants us to follow him," Esteban observed, "What do you think?" Sean swallowed and smiled, voice cracking, "Always seemed like the right thing to do." He turned the key and started the car, as they chased after the little wolf on a new road trip. Daniel smiled to himself broadly. His cheeks were still tear stained, but he couldn't have been happier. The story of the wolf brothers had been his to end after all. They might spend time apart, but now, they were truly unstoppable for all the right reasons. The teen collected himself, and focused on the road, looking ahead to his own amber companion. The Silver Runner, eyes clear and bright, was racing Superwolf home. Once upon a time, in a wild, wild, world….There were two wolf brothers who had at last made it to the border of their father's homeland, but when they got there, they discovered the hunters had set a trap. The big wolf brother decided to give himself up to the hunters so they would let the little wolf return to their ancestors' home and grow up to be a good, strong, big wolf too. The big wolf brother didn't know though, that the little wolf had planned to give them both the lives they wanted. When he was denied that chance, the little wolf was very sad, and refused to become a big wolf without his brother by his side. When he returned to his ancestors' home, they began to teach him about the real spirit realm, not the poisoned one of the coyote cult. His ancestors taught him about his damaged spirit and that of his brother. The little wolf began to wonder if it was possible to repair damaged spirits. Everyone told him it was, but that the hunters would not make this possible for his big brother. The little wolf did not accept this, and again felt very sad and angry about it. The little wolf and his friend, the little raccoon, became much closer friends now that they lived together in the ancestral forest. The little raccoon eventually revealed that he too had a big secret. He knew how to help Superwolf strengthen his powers to enter the spirit realm and heal his brother. The forest also reunited them with Superwolf's oldest friend, a very sly little red fox. The three of them worked together on his powers, in hopes it would be possible one day to pursue the big brother. That day came when good men from the brothers' home pressured the hunters into letting the big brother go. With that, Superwolf made the journey into the spirit realm and sought to heal his brother. Like their last journey, it had many hills and valleys, but the brothers eventually emerged from the spirit realm, once again ready to take on the world. For what they had found most importantly of all was the truth. The only redemption they ever needed, the only one that ever mattered, was in each other.