Chapter XXXII

A Matter of Trust

Naruto took a long time to fully recover from his emotions. As a result, I took the opportunity to do my report before my visit to the Fifth Hokage's office. Besides that Naruto was unable to look at me, he still settled on my bed, enclosing my pillow in his arms. His face regained his usual tanned colour, yet the embarrassment persisted. As soon as I glanced behind me, he was quick to turn his head or hide with the pillow in question. I couldn't help but sigh heavily. Hopefully, that won't make the impending walk on the outside difficult.

About to finish my task, I told him to get dressed and ready by pointing to where I put his things. After a brief hesitation, he complied. The teenager dressed in his usual orange clothes, one of my long-sleeved dark-blue sweaters under his jacket, his shinobi headband and his sandals. With horror, he ventured into my apartment with the sandals on his feet, thus making me cringe; that said, he understood that we were going outside.

I showed him the dark grey cape that Shikamaru brought me this morning. After sniffing the scent from it, Naruto began to protest his disagreement, growling with his arms crossed. He doesn't want this coat that isn't mine or his and has Shikamaru's faint scent. I had to argue with him so that he deigned to wear it reluctantly; he ended up giving in when I told him that he would stay here, alone, waiting for my return if he persisted any longer… Of course, I didn't really intend to do it, but for lack of patience, I resolved to offer him a lying ultimatum.

Unlike my white coat, this one reaches a little higher than his ankles. Still, the thin fabric will be enough to keep his tail out of sight—something I make a point of reminding him of before I walk out with the blond clinging to my arm.

This time, Naruto is much calmer though he remains on guard and scans the surroundings with difficulty with his deep blue, light-sensitive eyes. I don't have to tell him so often to put his tail back where it belongs. I do my best to take quieter paths, but I am quickly forced to take the busier ones in spite of myself; if I want to go to Lady Tsunade's quarters, I have no other choice.

The crowded streets start a mad dash through his chest as he digs his fingernails into my skin. I try to reassure him with my soft voice that everything is fine and that no one will hurt him. It works, but it causes him to get closer to me to the point of having his feet on mine, almost tripping because of that. Also, this nervous Naruto jumps when others pass by. This heavily slows down the pace of our already too slow steps.

For my part, I see that some ninjas are whispering while staring at us, especially Naruto. I don't know if they are aware of this whole story, yet rumours are already starting to circulate. The information that Naruto is back, that he has amnesia and that he's particularly feral is known, but nothing more. Maybe fear of the unknown mixed with misunderstanding makes them so suspicious, or something else is at fault. Is it possible that his chakra devourer condition has leaked in some way? This last hypothesis, I sincerely hope to be misled.

I give them a stern look when their eyes lock on us, forcing them to turn their heads away. It's a way for me to tell them that their behaviour is unacceptable. Naruto doesn't need to interpret this as a source of potential danger that could make him wilder than he already is towards others. The blond is stressed and anxious enough as it is.

The sapphire-eyed boy calms down when entering the building; he doesn't cling so fiercely to my arm anymore. He observes the surroundings with interest. His playful tail comes out of its camouflage to express his moods. Seeing him much more radiant and peaceful than before, I allow him. Luckily, we don't meet anyone until we arrive at the doors of Godaime's office.

I notice Sakura walking in our direction, her eyes glued to the various documents she's carrying. When she notices us back, her face lights up, sketching a happy smile.

As for Naruto, he doesn't arch his back, but he's very nervous since his hands tense up.

"Kakashi-sensei! Naruto!" she exclaims, approaching us cautiously, thus coming to meet us.

"Yo!" I greet her.

At arm's length, Naruto wraps his ebony tail around our legs to impose an invisible barrier between us and the teenage girl.

"I heard you've started walking Naruto and the talks with Shikamaru were going pretty well."

"Indeed," I confirm, glancing at the blond. "Naruto is still fearful, but as long as I'm by his side, it's fine. As for Shikamaru, Naruto is comfortable in his presence and no longer considers him a threat… However, he fiercely refuses to feed on any chakra other than mine. Shikamaru offered him his, without much success…"

"I see," she whispers worriedly. "If he only takes your chakra, you'll remain in this situation of weakness."

"I'm afraid so," I sigh. "It's not like I could choose."

She nods.

"At least, given the positive progress with Shikamaru, I'll finally be able to introduce him to you and the others. Slowly but surely."

My words draw a smile and a silent laugh from the visibly delighted emerald-eyed teenager. She then looks at her comrade who is staring at her.

"And you, Naruto. How are you doing?"

True to his silence, he doesn't respond although he suddenly turns his head, pouting. He doesn't want to speak with Sakura; it must be too early for him.

"Don't take this the wrong way, Sakura. He's not ready to exchange with you yet," I say, running a hand through my silver hair. "He tolerates your presence. It's a good start."

Sakura lets out a sigh that she hardly hides. I guess she was eager to get closer to Naruto, but she can only submit to the feral and reluctant boy's pace. In the idea of lowering his barriers that he has towards the world, I look at the blond who gives me his full attention.

"Naruto, you don't have to worry about Sakura. You don't remember, but you two were very close."

Naruto plunges his irises into mine, surprised for a breath before frowning. He doesn't seem convinced, although he gives me the benefit of the doubt given his amnesia. When I put on a cheerful face, he smiles shyly back. His ebony tail never leaving our legs demonstrates his lingering suspicions towards the girl.

"Well, it's time for us to meet Godaime."

"That's my destination," she cheerfully tells me.

I nod before knocking on the door. Naruto goes back to staring at Sakura, glaring at her with his suspicious little eyes. Suddenly, he briefly leans towards her to inhale her scent deeply. In response, Sakura jumps and arches her back due to the obvious discomfort caused by Naruto's atypical gesture. Immediately, Naruto pulls away, clinging to me more tightly. He didn't like her overreacting like that at all. I don't blame her; I too would have been very uncomfortable…

I don't have time to say anything when Lady Tsunade's voice allows us to enter.

We enter the Hokage's office. Godaime takes a serious look as she notices me and my anxiety-ridden student that is growling. Shizune is particularly on edge; Naruto's presence must be to blame for her stress.

"Easy, Naruto. They are friends," I whisper to silence his animosity and it works despite his persistent mistrust.

As for Sakura, she approaches to drop the documents she was carrying on the desk.

"Here's what you asked me to do," the teenager says.

"Thank you, Sakura," Lady Tsunade replies, then her hazel eyes gaze at us. "Kakashi, Naruto. Glad to finally see you in person."

I greet her with a nod. I then pull out my report to give it to her. Fortunately, the blond is content to follow me, hiding behind me. So as not to stress him further, I take my distance once said report is in the hands of Godaime. She immediately glances at it, quickly reading the outline; as she does, she frowns.

"As ordered, I checked Naruto's seal and can confirm that the Nine-Tailed is still within him," I say. "However, I discovered the existence of two other seals which block the slightest access to the powers and red chakra of Kyūbi. Because of those two seals, it makes it difficult for him to control his chakra, which must now be particularly limited."

Fifth Hokage bites her thumb reading the details of my report. Meanwhile, her two disciples come to peek over her shoulder.

"Two odd seals and such high levels… Whoever did this wanted to make sure the fox couldn't interfere," Lady Tsunade grimly remarks.

"They must have a good reason for employing such measures to ward it off so drastically," I add. "Until we know why, it'd be better to leave these seals in place at the risk of causing a disaster."

Godaime nods.

"I agree, Kakashi. The presence of these seals suits us since Yamato is no longer able to control the chakra of Kyūbi without his necklace. As you rightly said, we don't know what the mix would engender with his devourer condition."

Of course, there are things that I forbid myself to write, especially the awkward and sticky events with Naruto; these details, I keep them to myself. I know that I am obligated to make the most complete of reports and that I should include them, but I cannot bring myself to do so. An unacknowledged fear that they could form opinions on him as much as on me. Besides his emotional and sickly dependence, I don't divulge anything more.

"I didn't write it down, but there's another issue that needs to be addressed."

"I'm listening," Godaime replies, giving me her full attention.

"We know I'm particularly tired after my chakra offering to Naruto."

She nods silently.

"Since I've taken him into my home, this issue of fatigue has become a real problem and is getting worse every day. I had put it down to my already weakened state, but I sleep so soundly that nothing is able to wake me up. Not to mention that I get up very late while I go to bed very early. To tell you the truth, Shikamaru had a lot of trouble getting me out of bed this morning…"

A silence fuelled by concern rocks the entire room. I'm far from the only one alarmed by this just seeing the faces in front of me. Lady Tsunade clasps her hands together, then clenching them.

"It's Naruto, isn't it?"

I nod.

"I'm sure of it," I sigh, glancing at my arm marked by my student's canines. "I'm fine until his fangs sink into my flesh. We think Naruto must be pouring some venom or enzyme."

The sapphire-eyed boy stares at me with insistence and anguish. If I translate the features of his face, he seems to blame himself; even his black tail remains horribly still. In order not to let this negative emotion win him over, I ruffle his blond mane, smiling.

"I see. If that's really the case, it's problematic," worries Godaime. "Only you can keep him under control…"

"We don't know if it's really Naruto," Sakura advances cautiously. "There are illnesses that cause lethargy and since Kakashi-sensei is perpetually weakened, it could be caused by that."

"On the other hand, if it's caused by a substance produced by Naruto, a blood test will confirm it," Shizune retorts. "Also, we don't know what effects it has on his body."

"Indeed, I am of that opinion," Godaime replies before getting up. "Kakashi, we'll do some testing. Go to the hospital with Naruto. We will meet there."

"Understood."

Having to lug around a Naruto eternally on his guard at changing speed, we take forever to reach the hospital. Fortunately, since I had indicated in my report that moving the teenager takes time, Lady Tsunade can hardly be angry to see us late. Also, my old habits are not unknown to her although it is different with Naruto in the equation.

However, when the building comes into view, Naruto freezes, forcing me to stop walking. His hands are clenching so hard they make me wince in pain. He tries to force me back by pulling on my arm, but I keep my positions. I turn to face him. His eyes are in panic and his breath quickens as he insists even more; his black tail seeks to grab one of my legs. I quickly scan the area to make sure we're alone. Luckily, it is … at least no one in the distance is paying attention to us.

"Naruto! Calm down!" I order, grabbing both of his arms and narrowly dodging his tail.

Holding him, I force him to get into an alley to avoid curious eyes. The feral boy's irises are empty and he struggles to pull away from me. His sudden combativeness takes me by surprise and it allows him to free one of his arms. Quickly, I grab his limb again and tighten my grip to keep him from running away from me. I feel electric currents numbing my hands; I ignore the pain, the tingling and I try in spite of myself to establish eye contact with my panicked and completely distraught student.

"Naruto! Look at me! Snap out of it!"

Naruto whimpers as his tail thrashes around until it hits one of my legs, giving me a stab-like shock at the same time. In response, I bend my knee, I almost put it down, but I stand up despite the pain that makes me wince. I raise his arms above my head, forcing him closer to my body to limit his range of action. My black eye fails to connect to his blue eyes. This poor posture makes his fierce struggle difficult. I fear that his mane or his tail will turn into lightning to give birth to a storm wishing to destroy everything.

Bracing myself for the inevitable, I am taken aback when Naruto's entire body relaxes; I have to hold him from collapsing. I stay on my guard. My breath as erratic as his, I don't let go. His head lowered, I see a clear drop running from his face to burst on the ground, followed by several others afterwards.

Naruto is silently sobbing.

He's shaking like a too fragile leaf.

Seeing him like this breaks my heart.

Without further ado, I put myself at his level and I hug him tightly, scanning the surroundings with anguish. I sincerely fear to be seen; it torments me like a real poison. Naruto is so shocked that he doesn't hug me back or wrap his ebony tail around us. While stroking his mane charged with static electricity, I search for what could have caused his meltdown. In doing so, a strange feeling obliges me to look at my hand; it's covered with many blond locks, as if he had started to lose his hair… Weird. I stop patting his hair and think again. Analyzing everything I know about him, I can only conclude one thing.

The hospital is the reason.

The hospital generates terrible fear in him. Since this is where we left the first time at the end of his incarceration, he must recognize this place which awakens the traumas anchored in him; he must believe that I want to put him back in a cage or worse, leave him there to turn away like in his nightmare. I realize that he will refuse to accompany me; if I insist, it will cause another crisis until the lightning strikes. If he were to panic again, losing consciousness of things around him, including me, I doubt I could calm him down or contain him. Deprived of my chakra, my abilities and techniques are horribly limited.

Unfortunately, I can't linger here and wait for the blond to pull himself together, especially since he always takes a long time to recover from a meltdown; the risk of someone showing up at any time is too big. I grab Naruto's face with both palms to force him to look at me; I hide somehow the panic that appropriates my dark eye.

"Listen to me, Naruto. Where we are going is not what you think," I reassure him. "I agree that it terrifies you because we will go down paths that scare you, but where we go, we will stay together. We will not be separated. I promised you, Naruto. I will not abandon you. I won't let anyone hurt you ever again."

Saddened, Naruto gasps, but he doesn't react. He's too affected to take in everything I say to him. Mechanically, my thumbs wipe away the tears on his cheeks.

"Do you trust me, Naruto?" I ask, bringing my face closer to his.

After an eternity, my student clenches his teeth while sniffling. Slowly, he puts his trembling hands on mine; as for his deep blue irises, they never leave me. I translate his reaction as positive.

"Take a deep breath, Naruto. Trust me. Everything will be alright."

The teen takes a deep, long breath as instructed. I bring my hand to his forehead protector to slide it over his eyes to prevent him from seeing anything. In response, Naruto holds his breath. Giving him no time to think nor react, I grab one of his arms and one of his legs to hoist him onto my back. Immediately, in a panic while escaping a sound of surprise, his arms wrap around my neck, as do his legs around my waist. Anticipating his tail trying to wrap around my abdomen, I lift my green jacket to let it wrap against my dark-blue clothes so I can hide it by lowering my said jacket over it.

I feel his incessant tremors against my whole body as all his limbs tighten, cling more firmly against my slowly crushed person. I tolerate the discomfort, I forget it to focus on Naruto and my goal of joining Godaime and the others who await us. I don't care if we look stupid. All I care about right now is the blond's unstable psyche.

"Hold on to me, focus on me and nothing else, Naruto," I whisper before briefly turning my head to look at him. "All I ask of you is your trust and nothing else."

His tears stop flowing; the shivers like the frantic race in his chest diminish. After a breath, Naruto hides his head and face in my neck and his hands tense. He's scared, very scared, but he trusts me.

Carrying him on my back, I walk to the hospital.

Despite his eyes weakened and blinded by the painful light rays, Naruto had seen this place of haunting which sowed terrible evil in his heart, giving him the impression of sinking into the abyss of nightmares. His body had reminded him of the thousand sufferings he had to relive like an unjust punishment. As his world became nothing but pain and everything had crumbled into nothingness, swallowing everything in its darkness, Naruto's mind could no longer function; only primal thoughts of running away, of escaping from this reality had engulfed him to the point of forgetting that the glow driving away all the evil demons was by his side.

Enslaved by these tumults of anguish and terror, Naruto regained consciousness when the softness of Kakashi's hands caressed his face drowned in his tears of despair. In shock, exhausted as if he had used all of his chakra, the teenager was unable to move. Worse, his body seemed foreign to him. His senses were no longer able to transcribe the world around him. Nevertheless, in this absolute blackness devoid of images, sounds and smells … only Kakashi's image, Kakashi's voice and Kakashi's unique scent made their way into his short-circuiting brain. Thus paralyzed, he could only let himself be lulled by Kakashi's kind words that he struggled to translate to understand them. Fear was so ingrained in him, under his skin, that Kakashi couldn't manage to soothe him from his throbbing torment.

Gradually, the melody of Kakashi's voice clarified until he heard the meaning of the breathed words. Their faces so close to each other untie his welded limbs of imaginary shackles. Mechanically, Naruto's hands landed on those of the human to whom he was ready to offer himself body and soul. Kakashi was asking him to trust him; it disturbed him since it was futile to inquire about such a thing. If it weren't for these ghosts that haunted him wherever he went, petrifying him at will and eternal malice, Naruto would blindly follow Kakashi into the flames of a true hell.

Because Kakashi was the only world he wanted to belong to.

As Kakashi ordered to him, Naruto inhaled air into his burning organs which had ceased to function during this mental absence. However, Kakashi forbids him the use of his eyes by placing his precious headband on them. Unable to see or unable to remove the visual restraint, primal emotions bombarded him and attempted to devour him whole … but before they could get to him, Kakashi lifted him in his blindness. For fear of falling into the void and thus disappearing forever, Naruto clung with all his strength and all his limbs to the robust body of Kakashi similar to the most powerful of oaks. Although his eyes saw nothing, being against Kakashi's body the same way Kakashi carried him away from that place of pain silenced his fears.

Like last time, Kakashi became his eyes and legs.

As Kakashi had asked him, Naruto gave him all his trust.

As Kakashi had promised him, no one would ever harm him again.