Chapter 2—And Baby Makes? Two!
Here is chapter two…three might be delayed depending on if my mind is preoccupied with the show…lol!
Also, there is a lot going on in this chapter. A lot. Oh pardon any errors...i read this so many times my eyes were crossed.
Enjoy!
Michonne
"I just know I'm dying Sasha!" Michonne exclaimed for the fourth time as she laid spread across her bed in her bedroom.
Michonne had been feeling sick for the last month and thought she was coming down with an early spring cold. Then the nausea kicked in, the sore breasts, and the missed periods in both January and February had Michonne thinking she was on death's door, so much so that she updated her last will and testament. Michonne wanted to make sure every trace of her ex-husband was removed from the document anyway. Sasha shook her head at her younger sister's silliness after purchasing some necessary items.
"Sasha! I left everything to you, Darryl, and the kids!" Michonne exclaimed as she pulled a pillow over her head, "You know where I keep all my documents!"
"You are not dying," Sasha muttered and sat next to her sister removing the pillow from her face.
"I upped my life insurance from $250,000 to $500,000. You are the sole beneficiary," Michonne declared and draped her arm over her forehead.
"Well now, okay. Let me entertain this dying scenario for a little while. That's a lot of money!" Sasha chuckled.
"Spend it however you like, but I would like a nice headstone! NO! Cremate me! Scatter my ashes where all the young people gather so I can enjoy my youth even in death!" Michonne exclaimed and Sasha shook her head at her overly dramatic sister.
"Where? The club?" Sasha laughed and Michonne shot up and narrowed her eyes at her sister.
"You better not!" Michonne warned and Sasha got up to grab the grocery bag containing seven pregnancy tests she purchased before she arrived at Michonne's home.
"You are not dying. You are probably pregnant. Who have you been fucking Michonne?" Sasha crudely asked then jumped on top of her sister, careful of her tummy area, causing Michonne to fall flat on her back again.
"Get off of me Sasha!" Michonne hollered and pushed her sister to the side, "I am not pregnant. You know what I went through for eight months trying to have a baby and I told you what the doctor said about my very slim chances," Michonne uttered as she sat on the edge of the bed.
"Slim is the key word Chonne, and you need to put your desires into the atmosphere, girl! You need to believe to achieve!" Sasha declared with her usual flare.
"I believe Sasha! It's my uterus that has the doubt!" Michonne chuckled and shook her head at her overly theatrical sister.
"Whatever. Look, you have all the symptoms. And at the end of the day, a small chance is still a chance, and we need to think positively. Get up right now, point to your belly, and yell, "THERE IS A BABY IN HERE!"
"I am not doing that Sasha," Michonne laughed and watched Sasha stand to her feet and get in her mean girl stance.
Sasha sucked her teeth and stood with her hand on her hips with one eyebrow raised almost to her hairline. Since they were little, that stance was how Sasha forced Michonne to do almost anything.
"Michonne," Sasha insisted with an assertive tone.
"Sasha," Michonne mimicked with less confidence.
Michonne was not going to succumb to that stance today! Sasha tilted her head a little more and Michonne took a deep breath, shook her head, and stood in front of her sister.
"Ok, now...yell it loud and proud," Sasha instructed and Michonne shook her body and wiggled her arms to get a little more relaxed then pointed to her belly.
"There is a baby in here!" Michonne half-assed hollered and Sasha pursed her lips.
"LOUDER!" Sasha demanded.
"There is a BABY IN HERE!" Michonne hollered with a chuckle.
"LOUDER AND DON'T LAUGH! BE SEROUS MICHONNE!" Sasha screamed aggressively and Michonne took a deep breath.
"THERE IS A BABY IN HERE!" Michonne yelled at the top of her lungs and that got Sasha even more hyped.
"YES LORD! THERE IS A BABY IN THERE!" Sasha hollered and hugged her sister tightly, "Now get your ass in the bathroom and pee on those sticks.
Sasha pushed her sister into the restroom and stood at the door. Michonne tried to usher her away, and shut the door but Sasha was stubborn, and her sister was going to do exactly what she wanted to do, no matter what.
"How many did you buy Sasha?" Michonne asked in disbelief through the cracked bathroom door.
"Just pee on them all Chonne, we need to be sure!" Sasha commanded.
"A blood test in a doctor's office is the only way to be sure Sash, but okay," Michonne chuckled with a new sense of hope that she just might be pregnant and prayed at least one of the pregnancy tests would confirm it.
"If you are pregnant, FIRST," Sasha emphasized, You are going to ask Dr. Daniels for a referral because you might be high risk, but you just turned twenty-nine, and are extremely healthy. That's a plus." Sasha hollered as she peeked through the door, "SECOND, you will follow all directions even if it's bedrest and THIRD," Sasha held up three fingers though the cracked bathroom door for Michonne to see, "You are going to tell me who the father is as soon as we see the plus sign on those sticks and if it is Mike, I WILL hurt you."
"FIRST!" Michonne mimicked her sister's theatrics, "Let's see what these tests say before I go on bedrest! SECOND! I have not seen Mike in over a year and do not plan on seeing him anytime sooner or later."
"Good! Dang Girl! Hurry up!" Sasha demanded when she did not hear Michonne peeing.
Sasha peeked her eye through the crack in the door and was relieved when she saw Michonne washing her hands. When Michonne walked out, Sasha noticed she looked hopeful, and she smiled a little worriedly. Sasha did not want to see the devastated look on her sister's face if all the tests came back negative.
"Three minutes. All the tests say wait three minutes," Michonne breathed as she sat on the edge of her bed wringing her hands together, "I only peed on three. I ran out of pee after that. Seven tests Sasha? Really?"
"Really, Chonne," Sasha grinned and sat next to her sister to wait.
Michonne was sweating and her heart was beating a mile a minute. It was the longest three minutes of her life. She wondered if time was slowing down for the whole world and not just her. Finally, the timer on her phone dinged. Michonne stared at Sasha with pleading eyes, and Sasha understood the request and went into the bathroom while Michonne waited behind. After thirty more very long seconds, Michonne became impatient as to what was taking her sister so long. Michonne supposed her sister was trying to figure out how to break the bad news to her.
"I must not be pregnant," Michonne muttered to herself, "Sasha? Is the test not ready yet?" Michonne asked as she slowly stood to her feet, but too afraid to move any closer to the bathroom.
"Oh, it's ready," Sasha smiled with glee and turned the three sticks to face Michonne, "You are pregnant sister dear. Now who in the hell is the father! Is he fine? He ain't ugly, is he? It would be terrible if the baby took after his ugly ass father. I mean I will still love my ugly niece or nephew of course! Hopefully the baby will take after you! Looks and brains. Come on, put your hands together. Let's pray that the baby doesn't take after his ugly ass father."
"SASHA!" Michonne exclaimed with a laugh after pulling her hands from Sasha grasp, "That man was far from ugly. To tell the truth and shame the devil that was the finest man I had EVA seen."
"Finer than that whack ass ex-husband of yours. I mean I hate Mike's guts, but I can't lie on his looks," Sasha asked curiously as she watched Michonne fan herself remembering how Rick made her sweat in all her nooks and crannies.
Michonne had a flashback of Rick raking at her nipple ever so lightly with his teeth, before giving it a swirl with his magic tongue. Then he repeated the process on her other breast all while fingering her at the same slow pace. It drove her wild. Michonne shook off the memory and refocused on her sister.
"It's not even close Sasha. There was something…. what's the word…manly. Yes, something manly about him. Rugged. He had a walk that…" Michonne began but was interrupted by her sister.
"A walk that got you pregnant and thinking ass-backwards for fucking him without a damn condom! DAMN GIRL!" Sasha exclaimed and shook her head, "And I know you were just thinking about your nasty ass, raw dog sex. I saw you fanning yourself!"
"Shut up Sasha. I was just hot," Michonne tried to cover trying to hide her blush, "Anyway, he said he was clean and could not have childr…wait…he LIED! OH MY GOD HE LIED SASHA!" Michonne bit with anger and started pacing back and forth.
"Well, it's too late for all that anger. It's done and you participated right with him so, let's move on. Luckily, he didn't have any STD's Chonne!" Sasha appraised worriedly and elevator eyeing her whore of a sister.
Sasha approved of the whore part. Michonne needed some dick badly. The condom part however, had Sasha shaking her head.
"Yeah, lucky," Michonne muttered still angry at that lying ass cowboy who she better never run into again if he knew what was good for him.
Michonne looked back at the pregnancy tests and smiled with joy and forgot all about her potentially lying deadbeat cowboy baby daddy. She grabbed the three tests and read each one again to make sure it was all real.
"What's his name?" Sasha asked casually now that her sister was in better spirits and grew concerned when Michonne's eyes grow wide.
"Oh my God Sasha, I don't know his name! Or where to find him. Or what he does for a living! Wait, yes, I do, he is a police officer I think," Michonne fretted then calmed down a bit, "but he was just a stranger that could be from anywhere in the United States Sasha. A lying one-night stand. You know what. I am fully capable of taking care of my baby alone. That's if I can manage to carry him or her to term."
Michonne was worried, but as usual Sasha's overbearing mode took charge.
"You will carry this baby to term. I will make sure of it! First thing tomorrow morning call Dr. Daniels and make an appointment or at least get a referral for a high-risk obstetrician. We start there and take this one day at a time. Now, what in the hell do you mean you got pregnant by a damn stranger! SO STRANGE YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW HIS NAME! YOU GOT STRANGE FROM A STRANGER CHONNE! You wait till I tell Darryl about this! He is a detective. I am sure he can solve the mystery of the Lying Baby Daddy Cowboy Stranger With No Name! We can start with a criminal sketch artist. Do you even remember how he looks? His face not his…?"
"SASHA!" Michonne hollered and shook her head, "You and your husband are in my business way too much as it is, and he will not be detecting anything. Leave it alone. Besides," Michonne stopped abruptly remembering something her one night stand told her that night.
"What Chonne? What's the matter?" Sasha inquired anxiously.
"You know, he said he was recently divorced because he could not have children and I remember thinking how similar our situations were and I trusted him. Do you think he knew about my infertility and took advantage of it? Like he was stalking me? I did see him earlier at the Rockefeller Christmas tree. Sasha, what if he was stalking me? OH MY GOD I GOT PREGNANT BY MY STALKER!" Michonne hollered and began pacing back and forth.
"Wait, maybe he just mimicked what you already told him. Did you mention that to him?" Asked Sasha and watched the wheels turn in Michonne's head.
"Yes, I did," Michonne answered softly as if trying to remember the order of things.
"See," Sasha grinned with relief.
"But he mentioned that he was divorced and could not have children first," Michonne remembered and looked Sasha in the eye in fear.
"Forget about him. You have family and friends who will watch out for you and if that conniving asshole comes around here peeking in your window…well just like the song says…POW nobody now!" Sasha sung and Michonne looked horrified at her sister, "What? You know how Rosita is. Don't worry, let's focus on the baby. If it's a girl, Sasha is a beautiful name!"
Michonne shook her head and chuckled at her silly sister who hugged her for comfort, but Sasha's mind was racing about just who that stranger was.
"Speaking of, let's hold off on telling Rosita until she gets back from London. This deal could put her on track for a partner and I don't want to disrupt that. AND you are going to be obnoxious enough, I don't need two stressors during this pregnancy."
"Ohhh, she is gonna be pissed and I'm gonna sit with my popcorn and watch the fireworks when Rosita finally finds out!" Laughed Sasha, but despite the humor, Sasha was still seriously thinking about Michonne's baby daddy.
Sasha would let Darryl get to the bottom of it. And for the next four months, Darryl tried to search for the nameless lying, conniving baby daddy, but it went nowhere. Not even the great Darryl Dixon could solve the case with no name and no identifying information except he was a sexy cowboy officer who may or may not be a stalker. It was a complete dead end.
Rick
"Hey, Dixon! Your new partner is here! Come on in my office and meet him!" Captain Morgan yelled out into the bull pit where the detectives and officers worked.
A thirty-two-year-old Darryl Dixon has been an Atlanta Police detective for the past three years, and was one was the youngest detectives in his station's history. Darryl had a knack for tracking criminals and figuring out "who done it" even with the minimalist of clues. Darryl put down his case folder, grabbed his coffee cup and prayed the new guy could actually detect. His former partner of only two months could not find his left pinky toe that was still attached to his own foot even with a gun to his head. Officer Dumbass, a nickname Darryl called him to his face, was demoted back to patrol officer expeditiously so that he could gain a little more experience and common sense. Darryl figured Dumbass either cheated on his detective exam, or barely passed out of pure dumb luck.
"Comin'!" Darryl hollered and made his way to his captain's office.
"Darryl, this is Rick Grimes, your new partner. He comes from Division four and I hear he was a rock star when he was on patrol. They wanted to keep him over there but there were no detective openings, so we got lucky," Captain Jones grinned.
Morgan did not want to make the same mistake with Rick that he made with Dumbass, so he researched Rick Grimes thoroughly. He was impressed with what he found. Rick was thirty-one and started his career after leaving the police academy as a deputy in his hometown of King County, but his talent quickly outgrew the tiny sheriff's office after two years and Rick applied to Atlanta PD. For the next three years, Rick was an Atlanta Police Offer that had a knack for observation noticing small clues and evidence that even the seasoned detectives missed at crime scenes. Rick was encouraged by his supervisor to study and take the detectives exam where he scored one of highest scores across all six divisions. Rick waited two months for a spot, and when one came open, he was excited to pack his desk, exit Division Four and head over to Division two to begin his new detective career.
"Glad to meet you, Rick Grimes. I hope you are as good as they say you are," Darryl muttered as he reached out to shake his new partner's hand.
That was three months ago, and currently, to Darryl's amusement and relief, Rick lived up to the hype that surrounded him on his first day on the job. After three months together as partners in crime, not only was Darryl content, but he had also made a new friend.
"So, you finally bringing your country ass to my house for my legendary BBQ feast on Saturday? Shit we have been partners for three damn months, and you missed the last two!" Darryl accused as he looked sideways at Rick while sitting in the passenger seat of their unmarked police vehicle, "you can't miss this one man. This is the big fourth of July blowout BBQ. This is where I bring my A+ game!"
"I'm coming for sure. I promise. And I only missed one. You told me you didn't know me well enough to invite me over for Easter. And I went to visit my parents for Memorial Day," Rick laughed, "And I will be bringing my legendary beans. They will be the star of the show, by the way. They will put everything you make to shame."
Darryl grunted and rolled his eyes. Darryl had been proclaiming that his brisket and ribs were the best Rick would ever taste, and when he retired from Atlanta PD, he would open a BBQ joint that would rival any across the south. Rick doubted Darryl's BBQ would be the best he ever tasted, not when he had a mouthful of Michonne Hawthorne's delectable meat six months ago. Rick still thinks about that woman almost every day.
"We will see about that," Darryl grunted, "We are inviting a few friends and family, and you definitely need some more of those Man. I talk to you more than I talk to my wife, and she is getting tired of it!" Laughed Darryl who began biting is thumb nervously.
Sasha loved Rick even though she had yet to meet him officially. They talked mostly through quick phone conversations. Darryl hoped both would hit it off in person.
"I can't wait to meet her. She sounds like a firecracker the few times we spoke. I do need more friends. I focused so much on my career and my ex-wife, I guess I forgot to make some," Rick chuckled before getting a call from dispatch and headed over to their next crime scene.
While Rick and Darryl were headed to their next case, Sasha and Michonne were driving to an appointment to see Dr. Harlan Carson, an obstetrician who specialized in high-risk pregnancies. Michone received the referral from an excited Dr. Daniels after congratulating Michonne on her unexpected pregnancy. Dr. Carson always looked forward to the hilarious duo's visit. It brightened his day.
"Ok Michonne, we made it through your second trimester, and your entire pregnancy has been very normal, but we still want to err on the side of caution. I need you to not overexert yourself," Dr. Carson warned but was interrupted.
"She won't. I will make sure of that! Best believe!" Sasha stressed sassily and Michonne raised her brow at her overbearing older sister, "Dr. Sasha Dixon will be monitoring all her behaviors. Do you want me to write them all down for you?"
"I am grown. You do realize that don't you?" Michonne asked with a raised brow but was ignored by both doctors.
"Well, maybe just the serious stuff," Dr. Carson laughed, "Oh hey, did my cousin ever get a consultation from you? She has been wanting a nose job for years."
"She did! She is still thinking about it though. She is a little hesitant about going under the knife I think," Sasha chuckled.
'Uhhhh, Hey! Did you forget about the high-risk pregnant lady over here! Like I was saying, I am GROWN! I do not…," Michonne protested but was interrupted yet again.
"But I am older than you AND I have been through childbirth already, with twins! AND I know how taxing the last trimester can be on a body Michonne. AND that is with no complications! AND a baby daddy in the picture!" Sasha exclaimed then turned back to the doctor, "What are you prescribing Dr. Carson?"
Dr. Carson chuckled at the sister's banter and almost wanted to grab some popcorn and just watch the amusing duo keep up their entertaining shenanigans.
"You are not going to let me live that down are you Sasha," Michonne breathed out in annoyance.
"No, I am not. And in fact, I am going to reteach you Stranger Danger after the appointment! Now Dr. Carson, what are you prescribing for my baby daddyless sister?" Sasha asked again with a straight face that impressed a grinning Dr. Carson.
Dr. Carson wondered how Sasha could say the things she does without so much as a giggle.
"Well, Michonne, you need to rest more and work less, half days if you can, definitely no long excessive workdays. But I will say this is just to be precautious because of your history because you have no symptoms of being high-risk. Everything so far appears to be a normal, healthy pregnancy," Dr. Carson uttered still perplexed about how Michonne was able to carry her child with no issues at all.
"Well, let's keep it like that Doctor, what else?" Sasha asked as she grabbed her sister's hand and squeezed it tightly.
"I am going re-emphasize the nutrition regimen that I gave you three months ago. Stay off any caffeine products and no salt! Limit fatty meats and focus on healthy fats like olive oil instead. Water or Water flavored with real fruit is best. If you are feeling gassy, some fruit flavored sugar-free fizzy water is should do the trick. Cut your sugar intake too," Dr. Carson advised and chuckled when Michonne raised her brow.
"You just eliminated her four food groups Dr. Carson," Sasha laughed and Michonne snatched her hand from her sister's clasp.
"Dr. Carson. My brother-in-law is having a BBQ Saturday. I am going to need to eat my brother-in-law's brisket, so how flexible are you with that meat regimen?" Michonne inquired anxiously.
"And my potato salad. She loves my potato salad. And my husband just texted me that his new partner Rick is coming over finally, and he claims he makes the best beans. Can she eat beans? I want to make sure Rick feels welcome, so we are all going eat his beans even if they are gross and tasteless," Sasha directed with all seriousness.
"I am not eating gross beans Sasha! And if they are inedible, how am I going to eat the potato salad! You know I love to mix my potato salad with my beans! Who in the hell is this Rick character and why is he in charge of making such an important side dish!" Michonne hollered in frustration worried that the beans are going to ruin her whole eating experience.
"You will eat that man's nasty ass beans and sing a song about them Michonne!" Sasha gritted with narrow eyes and a stern finger point, "That is Darryl's new partner, and he is a nice man who probably can't cook, but I don't care! If you have to wash them nasty things down with a gallon of fizzy water, you will do it with a smile!"
"I am going to buy some beans from that smokehouse I like," Michonne snarked in defiance.
"You will not!" Sasha ordered and Michonne sucked her teeth and rolled her eyes at her demanding sister, "You. Will. Eat. Those. Nasty. Beans. Do you understand me Michonne! Rick will feel welcome in my home!"
Dr. Carson had a good laugh at the two women and assured them both that Michonne could indeed eat the nasty beans and delicious brisket because both were a good source of protein, but to try and limit fatty, or smoked meats as much as possible. But Dr. Carson did not expect Michonne to follow the plan fully. Dr. Carson had been getting emails from Sasha about all the bad stuff she was eating over the last month so he could address it at the next appointment.
"No," Michonne refused and crossed her arms across her chest.
"Enough with the diet and unseasoned beans Michonne, focus! I need you to rest, please. I want you to stay the night at my house, so you won't have to get up and drive over tomorrow for the party, ok? Plus, I need to supervise you making your deviled eggs. You put too much mayo. And I am not sure about this new vinegar-based coleslaw recipe of yours. Why are you trying new shit when we are gonna have a special guest! I need to see how you make that," Sasha muttered each word laced with irritation as she folded her arms across her chest too.
"So, you want me to spend the night for the sake of my health or because you don't trust I can make good side dishes?" Michonne asked with amusement, "but you trust this Rick guy to make the beans?"
"You two are so enjoyable," Dr. Carson chuckled at their shenanigans and Sasha pointed at her sister.
"All three. I trust Rick because he protects my husband. I don't trust your new recipe and I want you to spend the night for your health, I'm serious about that. I hate that you live alone. Dr. Carson, should Michonne just move in with me until the baby comes since the father is not in the picture?" Sasha asked with concern.
"I am putting my foot down. NO Sasha. I am fine right now. But I promise, if it gets to be too much, then I will happily pack my bags and move in with you so you can wait on me hand and foot," Michonne grinned, and Sasha cut her eyes at her sister, shook her head, but nodded in agreement.
"Ok, so you never answered. Do you want to know the sex of your baby?" Dr. Carson asked again and was delighted when the sisters' faces lit up with smiles.
Fourth of July Party
Darryl was out back manning the pit and the smoker, but mostly drinking beer and surveying all he had to do to get ready for the party. Sasha yelled out the back door reminding him to place the loungers by the pool and to stock the bar area of the outdoor kitchen with alcohol. Then put up all the tables and chairs and raise the umbrellas over each table. Darryl shook his head and called T-Dog, or Dr. Theodore Douglas, his next-door neighbor and Sasha's partner at Perfection, their plastic surgeon's office, to come over and help.
"And don't call Rick to help! He is a guest, Darryl! Call that big red-headed menace!" Sasha ordered and went back inside to help Michonne.
Darryl pulled out his phone and called both Rick and Abe, then stuck his tongue out at his demanding wife. Behind her back of course.
"I'm fine Sasha. I am kinda tired though. This baby was all over the place last night and I could not get a wink of sleep. Maybe because we are used to sleeping at home. He or she is usually so calm," Michonne muttered as she rubbed her belly.
"You would not have to say HE or SHE if you would just let Dr. Carson tell us which it is!" Sasha reminded with rolled eyes.
"Whatever. I could use a nap. Wake me in an hour. Don't let me sleep any longer, ok?" Michonne requested and Sasha ushered her sister into the guestroom she had slept in the night before.
"Go ahead. Your deviled eggs are delicious, and I think your coleslaw is my new favorite, so you are now officially off duty," Sasha instructed before remembering another thought she wanted to share, "Oh, and you are not driving home alone once it gets dark. You are staying here again. The kids are spending the night at mom and dads, so there won't be any noise like last night."
Michonne nodded agreeing without argument because she was exhausted anyway, and turned to wobble down the hallway happy that she packed an extra set of clothes. Michonne appreciated that she was not alone this far into her pregnancy. There were times when she needed help doing simple things like getting out of the tub, putting lotion on her feet, but mostly, climbing up and down those whack ass stairs. Michonne considered selling her house and moving into a more manageable one-story home. Or at least one with the primary bedroom downstairs rather than up.
"Fine, just don't forget to wake me in an hour please," Michonne requested again before crawling underneath the covers.
Sasha was just about to tuck her sister in when the doorbell rang, she was confused.
"It's way too early for guests!" Sasha uttered on her way to the front door.
Sasha shook her head to let T-Dog in to help her lazy husband. Twenty minutes later, Abraham arrived to help with the setup too. He was alone and seemed relaxed, not as tense as he usually was. Sasha glanced behind him then back at her big red-headed friend of six years.
"Where is Ellen? Is she coming separately?" Sasha asked perplexedly as she looked over the big man's shoulder once again.
"Separately is the key word Mrs. Dixon! We are officially separated. There was shit behind door A and Dingleberries behind Door B. Divorce is imminent behind door C. She took the kids and went back to Texas to stay with her mother a few days ago," Abe explained with a smile relieved to rid himself of all the drama from the last two years, "I was bored and already on my way here when Darryl called for help."
Sasha tried to resist the smile that was slowly spreading across her face, but she could not help it. She was grinning from ear-to-ear. The two years Abe was married to his wife were the worst two years of his and everyone's life. The first six months were fine, but then Ellen's true colors began to show, and she made life miserable for EVERYBODY. Ellen went from angelic to demonic almost immediately after saying I DO. The constant complaining and arguments wore them all out and Ellen could single-handedly ruin a get-together and spoil the fun for everyone. Whenever Ellen was over to Darryl and Sasha's home at 10117 Crabapple Court, Abe's wife was affectionally, but secretly, known as The Crabapple Cunt. Off street, she was simply BITCH. Abe would tell anyone that would listen that he was bamboozled. Hornswoggled. Hoodwinked!
"Would it be wrong if I said good riddance?" Sasha asked and Abe laughed and gave her a hug.
"Nope. I will kinda miss her kids though. SIKE! Her son was a holy terror sent from the depths of hell. And Becca was probably the rudest twelve-year-old girl in the world," Abe spat with acidity, "You had both of them by the short and curlies though," Abe grinned.
"Yeah, they can act crazy at home with you and their mama, but here, I make the damn rules and I shut that shit down quick,' Sasha reminded with a smirk then focused on an approaching truck.
"Good gracious Ignatius! That vehicle sounds like it might be on its last legs. Who is that?" Abe asked observing the old, but seemingly well-kept Ram truck Rick had since he graduated high school.
"I think that's Rick. Darryl's new partner. I told Darryl NOT to call him over early to help, RICK!" Sasha called and Rick smiled and waved before opening the passenger door, pulling out his pot of beans, and walking towards the duo, "If those beans are nasty, you will swallow them down with a smile and say they are the best you ever had. You hear me big red? Or I will make sure you leave this house with beans coming out of every hole in your body. Darryl and T-Dog have already been warned too."
Abe cut his eyes at Sasha awe-struck at how she could have hellfire in her narrowed eyes towards him, but a big smile spread across her face for Rick, all at the same time.
"Your penchant for violence is always impressive Sasha," Abe chuckled and walked inside the house.
"Rick! I am so glad you came! It is so nice to finally meet you in person! Welcome! You do not have to help Darryl set-up. I can't believe he called you. You are our guest!" Sasha groaned as she ushered Rick into her home.
"I don't mind. I would have just been sitting at home waiting anyway. I would rather have come early and help," Rick grinned and entered Sasha and Darryl's home impressed at the magnificence of it.
"How did you season those beans, Rick?" Sasha asked and Rick laughed as he headed towards the kitchen.
Lori-A few months earlier
"I thought you were some big deal ladies man who could put a baby in a woman just by looking at em," Lori spat at Shane who was lying next to her after yet another romp in the hay, "Looks like I chose wrong. Do you see how people look at me here? If I were pregnant, they might just stop treating me like a damn leper! You are no better than Rick!"
"First of all, why would I be known to put babies in women when I ain't got a single kid?" Shane rationalized, "And second, I thought you would be a better screw which would prompt my sperm to lose their mind and find the nearest egg. But that ain't happen. A damn zombie would be better'en you. Shit, I don't see how Rick tolerated your cold ass pussy for so long."
Shane was so blinded by his fantasy of Lori giving him the life that he always wanted, he could not see the reality of just how terrible she was, from her personality all the way down to the sex. Shane could not believe how he convinced himself everything about Lori Wayne was just peachy for over a damn year!
"Rick loved my pussy," Lori uttered with her head held high.
"I think he just tolerated it because he was married to it. He had no other options because Rick is a good boy. He ain't gonna cheat, unlike you. I'm glad he stole you from me in high school," Shane spat as he threw the back the covers and hopped out of bed.
Shane was done.
"You had to have had me in the first place Shane to steal me from Rick!" Lori bit and Shane raised his brows in disbelief.
"I had you bent over at least twice a week, once you finally came to your senses right before high school graduation?" Shane remarked with a sarcastic chuckle.
"That was just sex Shane. It only lasted a few weeks before I ended that. We were graduating and I wondered what all the girls were bragging about, but I was always Rick's girl. Rick had my heart, and it was him I loved," Lori justified, and Shane narrowed his eyes at Lori's warped sense of love.
"Cheating on your man is love Lori?" Shane asked incredulously.
"I never cheated with my heart. That's what's important," Lori tried to rationalize, and Shane wondered what he ever saw in her.
Shane reflected on his past while he searched for his clothes. Shane and Rick were best friends from first grade until a year into Rick's move to Atlanta. Shane always thought it was Lori that caused the envy to slither into his brain. But it was him. Shane caused the jealousy all on his own. Rick's parents were loving, while his own mama and daddy were trailer park trash that barely acknowledged him. That's when the envy started. When Shane's father abandoned the family, the bitterness towards Rick grew because Rick's father was there for his son. When Rick became the star athlete, Shane was steeped in resentment. When Lori chose Rick, that was the beginning of Shane's constant state of Rick loathing. When Rick hurt his shoulder ending what was expected to be a great baseball pitching career, everyone was devastated except for Shane. That is when he thought he had a chance to get Lori. Three weeks before graduation, he tried and succeeded in bedding his longtime crush. Shane was livid when Lori stayed with Rick. Shane grew even more indignant when the loss of a professional career did not affect Rick negatively as Shane anticipated. Rick had multiple dreams and easily, and happily moved on to the next chapter of his life and focused on other goals.
"That ain't a thing Lori," Shane chuckled as he walked buck naked over to the chair where his pants were draped, "And for the record, people look at you the way they do because you were a married woman that started sleeping with your husband's former best friend. Rick's parents live here. Rick still has friends here who I know told him about what we were doing. Shit, they look at me like the biggest piece of shit too! And it is sad that I am just right now discovering that I truly AM a big piece of shit!"
Shane was beginning to realize that he never wanted Lori Wayne, and what he actually craved was something deeper and more disturbing. Shane wanted Rick's life. Rick had it all. Shane was disappointed and ashamed of himself. It took taking up with Lori for him to realize he was jealous of his best friend in whole wide world.
"Maybe you are Shane. A piece of shit that can't seem to get a good woman pregnant!" Lori bit and Shane looked at Lori with hate in his eyes for the first time since meeting her in the eighth grade.
"I'm sure I can get a good woman pregnant Lori. But a good woman you ain't. Maybe that's why you are still barren after nine whole months of fucking," Shane uttered as he slipped on his pants.
Shane was a womanizer, but he always thought it was because he never got over Lori. When Shane saw Lori moving her things into her apartment three months after moving back to King County, he thought it was an opportunity to fix everything that was wrong with his life. Without a second thought, without a moment to stop and think about the path he was about to travel and where it just might eventually lead, he ran over to the moving truck and grabbed a box. As Shane and Lori talked, he had visions of the two of them living in a nice house, married with two kids. It made Shane feel joyful, and that was not an emotion he often felt. Shane was not going to let Lori Wayne slip from his grip again.
"Fuck you, Shane!" Lori hollered hurt at being called barren, but also how Shane described their time together as just plain fucking.
Lori thought she had Shane fooled.
At the beginning, Shane did not want it to be just sex, so he did something he never, ever did. Shane took it slow. All Lori wanted was a roll in the hay and was annoyed at all the wining and dining. All Lori wanted was a baby. Shane wanted a wife. The two did not mesh, but Lori played along. She waited three long months before she finally got Shane in bed. Now that he had her, Shane quickly comprehended the incredible mistake he had made.
"Fuck Me? No thank you. Not anymore Lori. I am DONE! You are the worst thing that ever happened to me," Shane proclaimed as he looked for his shirt.
"You act like this was all on me. You were desperate to get in my pants from the moment I moved back here Shane. Don't forget that. Don't forget you pursued me, even though Rick and I were still very much married. We barely had divorce lawyers!" Lori argued.
Shane thought about all the positive relationships he ruined because of a no-good woman he never really wanted in the first place. Realization is a hell of a drug. Now, because of his poor choices, Shane could not face Rick's parents, with whom he used to have a close relationship. He could not face some of his old friends who are also still Rick's friends. Most days, Shane could not even face himself. Most certainly, he could not face his old best friend, Rick. Shane dressed determined that this was the last time he would allow Lori Wayne to control his life.
"Yeah, I know. And I was dead wrong for it, Lori," Shane spat, and Lori's eyes widened at the implication of his statement, "And I get those same looks from people too. It especially hurts with Rick's parents. They treated me like their own even when Rick and I drifted apart after y'all moved to Atlanta. Now they won't even acknowledge me. You know," Shane chuckled and turned to look at Lori who was still lying naked under the covers, "At first, I had the nerve to be angry at Mr. and Mrs. Grimes. I thought they wanted me to fail. Expected me to fail. Like they only wanted Rick to be happy and never cared a single shit about me. But now, I see clearly. I failed myself. I failed them! I failed Rick! I was wrong to get involved with you. I was living in some damn fantasy world and could not see the damn apocalypse I was causing all around me."
"Apocalypse? What the hell are you talking about Shane? Forget about Rick's parents. They don't even talk to me and my mama anymore. What kind of people drop family like that? The Grimes' think they are better than everybody else!" Lori spat, "I went over there when I moved back, and they would not even let me in the damn house. They never really liked me, and I am sure they are happy their infertile son is free of me."
"What you go over there for?" Shane asked bemusedly and when she averted her eyes, Shane knew it was because Lori wanted to keep them close so she could keep Rick close.
Shane stood there stunned.
"What?" Lori asked nervously and Shane saw the whole plan in his head.
"You never wanted me, did you?" Shane laughed in disbelief, "You just wanted me to get you pregnant. That's why you always complained about me courting you. Well shit. You wanted to get pregnant and run back to Rick. Wanted Rick's parents to help you get him back. You thought it would happen quick. That's why you prolonged your divorce."
"Of course, I wanted you Shane," Lori sputtered, and Shane saw the lie written all over her face.
Shane ran his hands through his recently shaved head in disgust, mostly towards himself.
"What kind of friend is jealous and wants to take his best friend's girl, wishes failure upon him, and then sleeps with his wife in the hopes of making a life with her," Shane uttered mostly to himself ashamed of his behavior, "I deserve what I am getting, and I acknowledge that. Do you?" Shane asked wondering why he never moved on from Lori to find happiness with any of the billions of women in the world.
"Rick and I were over!" Lori hollered and Shane rolled his eyes.
"Yeah, you don't believe that. Look, I ain't in this anymore. I thought you were who I wanted since the damn eighth grade! Even gave up my best friend for it and maybe even a chance at love with someone else. I would rather be alone for the rest of my life than to spend another day with you," Shane bit and grabbed his keys and walked out of Lori's apartment determined to finally burn Lori Wayne from his mind forever.
"BUT IT'S THREE WEEKS TILL MEMORIAL DAY AND MONTH AND A HALF TILL FOURTH OF JULY! YOU CAN'T BREAK UP WITH SOMEONE DURING THE HOLIDAYS!" Lori shouted to a retreating Shane despising the idea of celebrating alone.
Lori was devastated. She was almost thirty-one, divorced, a pariah in King County, and most importantly childless. Lori knew she made a mistake leaving Rick. Lori needed a plan. Having a child with Shane was not working out. All that unprotected sex with Shane and not even the slightest hope of being pregnant. Not even a small pregnancy scare. Lori was desperate. The longer she was away from Rick, the harder it would be to get him back. Lori needed to get pregnant fast, so she could beg for Rick's forgiveness. Lori was delusional thinking Rick would feel sorry for her, take her back, and raise her baby as his own. Lori rubbed her barren stomach and shook her head.
"What the hell is going on?" Lori asked herself and she looked downwards at her unfruitful womb.
Mike
"You just got divorced what? A year ago? Are you sure I am what you want? We are moving kinda of fast don't you think?" Pearl asked Mike as she lay in bed beside him.
Mike was grinning. He had been pursuing Pearl Thorne since the moment he saw a few months after divorcing his wife. Although she was no Michonne, Mike thought she was a distant second and believed he hit the jackpot. And although the love that he had for Pearl did not compare to the love he had for Michonne, Mike knew he could eventually get there with her. Pearl was beautiful, successful, feisty, funny, and Mike was ready to settle down and finally have a family. When Mike would think about Pearl and their kids running around their backyard laughing, he still saw Michonne and had to actively force his mind to override her face with Pearl's.
"Yes Pearl! For the hundredth time! I am sure. I told you I wanted a wife and children. Me and my first wife drifted apart because she did not want children and I did. In hindsight, I should have asked her before we got married," Mike lied preferring not to tell his girlfriend that he asked for a divorce immediately after finding out Michonne was infertile leaving her stunned and crying in the fertility clinic parking lot.
That information might paint him in a bad light, Mike reasoned.
"Ok," Pearl grinned.
"OK, now get dressed. We have a fourth of July BBQ at my boy's house today!" Mike grinned excitedly.
While Michonne was still napping at her sister's house, Mike was sitting in the backyard at his friend Terry's fourth of July BBQ ready to put a ring on Pearl's finger. Mike was about to turn thirty. He was a successful attorney and although in Mike's opinion, Pearl did not hold a job that was in as high esteem as Michonne's profession, Mike figured a Physician's Assistant still held some level of stature. The only hesitation Mike had about Pearl was not really knowing if she could have children. Mike asked her to have her fertility tested after showing her his fertility paperwork from Dr. Daniels. Pearl found it strange, but agreed and a month prior, gave Mike the results that she had no issues. Mike was smiling as he bit his rib. He was going to propose to Pearl sooner rather than later and finally have the perfect family he always wanted.
"Sasha! Where is Michonne?" Darryl asked wondering why his sister-in-law had yet to make an appearance at the Fourth of July party.
Sasha did not keep her promise. Once an hour passed and she heard Michonne's heavy snoring, she did not have the heart to wake her sister up, deciding a few extra minutes would not hurt. Sasha figured she needed the rest. Next thing Sasha knew, another two hours had passed and almost all the guests had arrived.
"Shit! Shit! I forgot to wake up my sister!" Sasha hollered eyeing Rick stirring his presumably nasty ass beans in her kitchen as she ran to wake Michonne.
All were about to be in for a shocking surprise, and it was not that Rick's beans would turn out to be mighty tasty.