Chapter LXXVI

A Mark Steeped in Mysteries

Naruto is upset, inconsolable. As soon as we're alone, I offer him my comfort. With nameless delicacy and caution, Naruto climbs into my bed and lies partially on top of me. He takes me tenderly in his arms, resting his head close to my neck; at that, his tail wraps around my leg. Quickly, his pain and distress are eased. He stops shaking, closes his eyes and finds a semblance of sleep.

Emotionally, Naruto is at his wits' end. My disastrous speech led to the breaking of the chains that kept him captive in his selective appetite. He was forced to devour another chakra than mine; it put him in great distress. As a result, his psyche took a big hit. I hope his next meal goes better to prevent his mind breaking further…

As for me, I have to be patient. I don't know how long my student will need to produce venom to poison me with. Aside from tiny, useless movements with my fingers or toes, I'm still paralyzed. The urge to rub my nails on something makes me suffer; the itching is unbearable now. I can't do anything to soothe the annoying itches, and frustration builds inside me. I try to move my fingers to scratch, but it makes my ordeal worse. My miserable actions accentuate the tickling more than anything else.

Additionally, Naruto looks excruciatingly heavy. He hampers my breathing a little. Given my deplorable state, it hardly surprises me. As long as I can fill my lungs with air, I can hold on until the blond wakes up.

I contemplate the blue sky, the clouds and the village looming on the horizon. I'm also deep in thought. Fears attack me from all sides, and I struggle to remain rational. Even though Lady Tsunade told me that I'm still normal, human, I can't shake the possibility that I'm becoming a nocturnal, chakra-hungry creature. It makes my blood run cold, to put it mildly. I feel like I'm changing. How precisely? No one has the answer, me included.

I fear that this mark on my neck will be the first step, that other ebony tattoos will appear all over my back, little by little covered with an abstract mosaic. I'm terrified of waking up with a furry black tail, claws, fangs, and a sordid appetite for chakra… But most importantly, what are Naruto's intentions? Why did he imprint this indelible mark on my skin? Is it even possible that I could become like him, a chakra devourer? If it's possible, will I become a feral animal too...?

If only we knew what happened during the month of his abduction. We could know how this group transformed him, how they achieved such a feat. I would get my answers, thus allowing me to compare, to see if I'm going through the same process as him. Is my transition smooth? Will I experience a hell that I refuse to conceive? If Naruto's voice wasn't silent, I could calm my devastating torment…

I'm pulled from my thoughts when Naruto stirs. He looks at me with his little eyes, tired and reddish from his recent crying. I greet him with a smile. He recovered from his emotions. His mind is still in a daze, since his wandering irises take time to scan their surroundings, not to mention that the light dazzles him, forcing him to rub his eyes. I wonder if he got enough rest. I want his venom, I want his fangs in my flesh, I want to be free of my unanswered questions.

That said, I give him time to stretch. Naruto gets up, freeing his tail from my leg. But instead of leaving the bed, he straddles me to sit on my pelvis, staring at me. His piercing, physical gaze makes me very uncomfortable. I really feel like he weighs twice his weight; he crushes me.

The sapphire-eyed boy sniffs me a little too closely. His rapid breathing gives me unpleasant shivers. My right wrist overwhelms the attention of his nostrils. He pouts as he stares at it. I understand that this damn smell is still there… Maa, that's the only explanation I can find.

"You don't have to worry, Naruto. It'll eventually vanish…"

His eyes don't deviate. The teenager lets out a muffled grunt, in no way convinced that it will fade with time. He grabs my arm and brings it close to his mouth. I guess right away what he wants to do.

"No! It's gonna be gone by itself! No need to—"

Unfortunately, I can't push him away or defend myself as he slides his mutated tongue across my skin, which turns cold and devoid of sensation. I feel the cold, the vile drop of drool sliding down my bitten arm, which makes me green. I let out a painful whine despite myself. My skin is now anaesthetized. I don't know how many times he defiles me with his disgusting tongue before he puts my arm back down.

However, my dismay is far from over. Naruto gets interested in my silver hair, examining it cautiously with his fingertips. My heart stops.

"No, please… Naruto… Please, leave me alone," I beg. My useless voice doesn't reach Naruto, who begins to groom my hair with his vile drool… Paralyzed, I can only suffer silently. I sigh painfully, rolling my eyes. My locks coated in saliva soon stick to my forehead. Translucent and viscous drops slide down my face, way too close to my eyes… In all this, I have to endure the mouthful and disgusting noises of my student licking me…

My right hand is a block of ice, and my face suffers the same fate. I'm cold; I'm freezing. I don't care about the state of my greasy, unkempt hair. I just want to be left alone and have Naruto bite me into unconsciousness. I want to forget what he's doing to me. He could have waited until I was asleep to do that…

I wanna curl up into a ball and disappear…

I hear the door open, followed by a few footsteps that soon stop. I'm too humiliated to turn my head or glance at the entrance.

"Kakashi-Sensei...?" Sakura's calls out.

Naruto immediately stops what he's doing and glares at the girl, wagging his tail in annoyance. His throat vibrates, turning into a growl and all his hairs stand on end. Someone knows now, and I want to die. I can't even hide under the blanket. I've never been so embarrassed in my entire life…

"Can you come back in about fifteen minutes...?" I mutter, mortified. "With a rag to clean my face...?"

The discomfort is obvious, excruciating. A painful silence persists, plunging the room into a horrible tension. Sakura nods quietly before leaving the room. I haven't seen her face, and I don't want to know. I fear the thoughts that occupy her mind about the scene she witnessed. Of course, Naruto is quick to groom me even more by humming useless noises…

- XxX -

My head disgusts me; I feel like throwing up. I can't wash myself, purify my face covered with vile filth. My skin is cold, dirty with unwanted nasty saliva. Naruto's hand holds mine and is wet with drool. If it wasn't for Sakura wanting to see me, I would have asked Naruto for his venom. I hope Sakura doesn't forget my request to bring a clean rag. Whether I like it or not, she knows…

Hopefully, this is the only person who knows…

I implore the heavens.

After an indescribable amount of time, I hear the sound of wheels approaching my room. Still embarrassed to death, I don't turn my head unlike Naruto. Logically, it's Sakura. The blond is nervous; I feel his heartbeat pulsing in his hand.

"Good afternoon, Kakashi-Sensei," Sakura greets me, taking a seat on my right. "I'm here to draw your blood and treat your bites."

Embarrassed, I can't look at her. "I see… Tell me… Do you have what I … asked you...?"

Sakura nods. Out of the corner of my eye, I see her preparing a wet cloth to wash me. According to her facial expression, she can't forget this picture of me being … licked by Naruto. This uncomfortable scene is eternally imprinted on her innocent eyes.

What I'd give to move my arms…

I want to regain my independence…

Instead of washing me, Sakura looks at my silver hair. Judging by their state when Naruto subjected me to his grooming ritual for the first time, their shine must overwhelm her emerald eyes. After all, I'm myself captivated by their irresistible charm, to the point that it became an obsession. I'm hypnotized by their supernatural splendour every time I pass my reflection.

When she approaches the rag, Naruto arches his back and hisses. His ebony tail slaps Sakura's hand. He lets her know not to touch me and in any way destroy his work on my hair. Despite his animosity, he didn't give her an electric shock.

Immediately, I turn my head to fix my stern gaze on him. "Naruto, you're gonna let her do it," I order sharply. "She won't ruin your … 'work' if that's what's bothering you."

The blond hisses, pouting; at that, his ebony tail swings from right to left like a disgruntled feline. However, he allows Sakura to wipe the damp cloth over the uncovered part of my face.

"Thank you," I say.

As I let out a sigh of relief, Sakura once again looks at my mane a little too intently. Curiosity takes hold of her, and the kunoichi examines my hair with her fingers. This draws aggressive hisses from the unstable element at my bedside… I sigh again. I already have Naruto that I must tolerate. I don't want everyone to be obsessed with my hair while flouting my personal space…

"Can you stop touching me?" I sigh, annoyed.

"I… Sorry, Kakashi-Sensei, but I've never touched such soft hair…"

"… and covered in drool…"

"Ah…"

It's uncomfortable…

Sakura leaves my hair alone and prepares the sample. As for Naruto, he looks at his comrade coldly. Not taking his eyes off her, he loudly licks his palm, now dripping with drool, to coat the hair she touched… I restrain myself from complaining out loud as the young girl gags.

"Shikamaru… How is he?" I ask, hoping to ease the hellish and awkward tension.

"He's hospitalized right now," she replies while taking my blood. "His arm suffered significant fractures and injuries. He has a high fever, and his flesh around the bite is slightly necrotic. One of his nerves is severed and unlike you, his chakra vein is heavily damaged. He can no longer mould his chakra."

A cold sweat beads up on my temple. I frown. "Necrosis?"

She nods. "We don't know why. We haven't found anything that can explain it. If I hadn't provided him with immediate care, there would've been permanent damage."

"Should I be worried about him?"

"He'll recover, but he'll need a lot of time."

"I assume he won't be able to feed Naruto anymore?"

"Indeed."

I'm speechless. With the violence Naruto shown, such damage is to be expected… But so much? This necrosis is worrying. Somehow, I wonder if it's not linked to another substance produced by the blond. After all, his venom flies under the radar of medical ninjutsu. I remember my arm was in bad shape the first time he bit me. My arm was turning red and swelling. Then this strange phenomenon never happened again. Of course, it's just speculation and hypotheses.

Since I can't provide a single drop of chakra to Naruto, this implies that we will have to find him a next volunteer—rather, a next victim.

Before I can ask, Sakura beats me to it. "We're already looking for a volunteer."

"I see."

Once the sample is finished, Sakura treats my arms, which are ugly with bites, with her medical ninjutsu. Meanwhile, Naruto is done "purifying" my silver hair. All in all, it kept him busy, to the point that he didn't even cast a single dark glance at his friend.

"Naruto, can you make me sleep?"

Naruto stares back at me. Then his eyes focus on my forearms. A veil of guilt covers his face. I easily understand what he's communicating to me.

"You rather wait so as not to bite me more than once, right?"

He answers me despite his silence; he lowers his head, gently stroking my hand with his thumb. If I wasn't under his genjutsu, I wouldn't have cared about the catastrophic state of my arms. I can wait, prevent his fangs from scarring my skin with more hideous marks. I can always read thanks to him to pass the time. My paralysis is the thing that bothers me the most, especially since it allows Naruto to do whatever he wants with me.

"Kakashi-Sensei, what did he say?" Sakura asks me.

"Hmm? Oh, he could poison me now, but he prefers to wait and limit the number of bites."

"He didn't communicate anything."

"It's very subtle, but Naruto can express himself in his own way. By living with him every day, I learned to understand him."

"You're probably right…"

A silence reigns.

Something is bothering her; her suddenly dark face worries me. "Sakura, are you okay?"

She refuses to answer me. She's indeed worried by something. For her to become as mute as Naruto, it's serious…

She stops her technique, showing a radiant smile…

But her smile is fake.

"I can't do more, Kakashi-Sensei," she tells me as she puts away her equipment. "Ideally, Naruto should put you to sleep immediately. But as long as you fall asleep before dark, you should be fine."

"Sakura, stop avoiding my question. What's wrong?"

"You're making up stuff. There's nothing at all," she retorts dryly, and rather aggressively. "Besides. Can you tell Naruto to use the bathroom like a normal person so he stops peeing in the corner of the room? I'd appreciate it. On this, rest easy."

Her harsh tone makes my throat choke, speechless. Sakura leaves the room without even giving me one last look. She's indeed bothered by something, and it's not linked to the fact that Naruto relieves himself in inappropriate places… What? I have absolutely no idea.

Worry works its way through my exhausted mind. I want to know what puts her in this state to respond to me so coldly. Am I at the centre of her torment to avoid my question like this? Is my situation deteriorating and threatening my life? Is this why she can't bring herself to answer me?

I'm worried to death. Sakura's words worry me even more, like this mark on the back of my neck.

Since I won't be sleeping anytime soon, I have plenty of time to "chat" with Naruto. Perhaps he will be able to reveal to me the mysteries behind this mark? Although I need an answer, these answers terrify me; shivers run down my spine, and I forget to breathe.

"Na… Naruto… This mark on my neck…" My voice is trembling. I swallow and squeeze Naruto's hand. "What does it mean for me...?"

The feral boy watches me intently, and I can't translate his emotions. I don't know if he will answer me. He hid its existence with his terrifying powers.

However, he points at himself.

My heart races.

My breath panics.

My body shakes.

"Are you… Are you trying to tell me that … that I am like … like you...?" I stammer.

Naruto remains taciturn. His face shows no emotion. His body doesn't speak either, as if he's avoiding or ignoring my question.

"Naruto. If that's the case, can you tell me? I need to know."

I'm waiting for an answer, however small it may be. But Naruto sinks deeper into his silence, maintaining eye contact. I carefully analyze each of his gestures, each little useless movement, but I don't transcribe any response, not even a refusal to answer me. I worry and sweat. My already white skin is losing its colour.

Am I really becoming a chakra devourer? This macabre possibility shakes me completely, shakes me in hurricanes of terror. With his eyes, he hid the existence of this mark from me. However, he doesn't hesitate to answer me when I ask him about it… And now he no longer communicates with me. His paradoxical behaviours exhaust me and accentuate my already too present stress.

"Why did you hide the existence of this mark from me with your eyes?"

Naruto arches an eyebrow, clearly perplexed. He finally deigns to react to my words. He doesn't know where I am going with this; I feel like he takes me for an imbecile. The anxieties are gradually driven away by the irritation that is gaining on me. I hate being fooled like this.

"You used a genjutsu to make it disappear. For what?!"

My sudden coldness makes him jump, and I don't care. I have neither the patience nor the desire to argue with him. I want answers!

After a few blinks, Naruto looks at me with a frown. He leans towards me briefly, brings a hand up and places it on the left side of my neck. Carefully, he slides his palm and applies gentle, painless pressure to two specific points. These two specific points are the marks of his teeth that Lady Tsunade touched.

"You… Your genjutsu was used to spare me the pain of your bite and not to erase this mark on my neck?"

Naruto confirms this in his own way by removing his fingers from my skin. I'm confused now. I'm trying to remember the haunting scene where Naruto bit my neck. I remember almost nothing; I think my mind ended up a little traumatized. Everything is still blurred. I know I took a long look in the mirror the next morning. I wanted to make sure what I experienced was a dream or not. I stroked my neck, skin to skin, and found nothing suspicious on it.

I'm struck by a dark realization. Since this incident, I've never looked at the back of my neck, and I was content with a tactile inspection. If Naruto didn't hide his existence, I would have seen this mark. I would have discovered its existence if I had turned my head a few tiny centimetres.

With his eyes, the blond saved me from agonizing suffering. Marking me causes unimaginable pain, and he was well aware of it. It still hurts if I trust Iruka's words. To be honest, I have no memory of suffering torture or leaving the bar. What happened next until Naruto was in my arms… I don't remember anything, except fighting the shinobi of this group.

The moment he bit me in the neck is blurry, too blurry to remember even the slightest detail. However, the pain I experienced is as clear as crystal. If I include the moment when Godaime released me from the genjutsu, I would have continued to agonize. However, that doesn't explain why he made me believe that I imagined or dreamed the whole scene… Was it to avoid worrying? Was he planning to tell me about it one day? I wonder… However, another question persists.

What are his intentions towards me in marking me this way, without my consent, to the point of restricting me so violently to prevent me from struggling?

"Naruto, why did you mark me?"

His facial features soften. He looks at me with a shy smile. Given the nature of my question, I'm by no means calm—on the contrary, I'm panicking a little. He leans towards me until his face is too close to mine. I immediately turn my head to get away as best I can. Without warning, Naruto licks my forehead again with his damn disgusting tongue. This time, I manage to shake my head to push him away … with great misery. My gesture works since he steps back, surprised.

"Are you gonna stop with this?!" I fume, grimacing. "Stop licking me with your damn tongue."

Naruto pouts, avoiding my gaze. Annoyed, I show him my back… I mean, I turn my head. No matter how much I repeat myself, he starts again, and will continue as long as my paralysis persists. I don't care if his unpleasant gesture is affectionate in nature. I don't feel like having his tongue and drool close to me. He's getting too comfortable, especially right now. Also, I'm afraid he'll go further, since he licked my arm to get the putrid smell off my wrist…

Unfortunately, I sink back into my increasingly tormented thoughts. I got answers, but not the ones I wanted. I find myself with other useless questions…

I can't let go of this possibility of losing my humanity…