See end for Author Notes
Chapter 4: Life 2- Tungsten Cube
Joseph opens the front door and stretches. "Ahh home sweet ho- WHO THE FUCK TOUCHED MY SHIT!?" Joseph yells into the empty house that looks almost the same, Joseph started frantically moving stuff slightly around until everything looked right to him. "Partner, if you haven't noticed you're letting your draconic instincts out." Draig says in a joyful voice. A single fly buzzes around Joseph's face taunting him with every moment it is still in the air. In a flash Joseph smacks the fly with his Boosted gear, causing it to splat on a wall nearby. "Those fuckers let flies in my house and moved my shit incorrectly and this is only the living room, the kitchen is gonna be a bitch to reorganize." Joseph said extremely frustrated.
Joseph then goes to the kitchen fixing everything the devils messed with. "WHO THE FUCK PUTS POTS AND PANS IN THE GODDAMN OVEN!? I HAVE CUPBOARDS FOR A REASON!" Joseph after finally putting everything back he goes to the other rooms in the house fixing the bathroom, the gym, and finally the bedroom. "I'm going to destroy the Occult Research Club and The Student Council rooms for this slight against me." Joseph making a vow and questioning the idiot who put the pots and the pans in the oven. He finally goes to sleep.
The next day Joseph wakes up then does some light workouts for twenty minutes, brushes his teeth for two, takes a shower for fifteen, makes himself a ham and cheese sandwich for lunch, checks for his gum and cigarettes, and once he knows he has them and packs the rest of his things he finally leaves for school.
Kuoh Academy- 7:00
Joseph walks into Kuoh Academy, goes to his first class of the day, and takes his seat. He tunes out most of his classes until he reaches Gym where he spots a familiar face in a tracksuit. Eden turns and spots Joseph walking in. "Oh hey kid, didn't think that you would be here of all places." "Yo, I didn't think you'd be the gym teacher my stalwart rival, this should be fun." Joseph said with a smirk. "Wrong time and place kid, you can call me Sensei or Mr. E while we are at school." "Okay, Sensei~." Joseph said with a shit eating grin making Eden stare incredulously. "No, don't do that ever or I will make you do wall sits with 80-pound blocks" "Sounds like good training Sensei~, but I'll call you Mr. E from now on." Joseph said wanting the training.
"Fine, I'll give a light warm-up, TUNGSTEN CUBE." Eden throws a tungsten cube at Joseph going 30 mph. Joseph immediately catches the cube tossing it up and catching it repeatedly to show how light of a workout it truly was. Eden smiles wide and claps his hands "Good job, good job. Now try it like this." as Eden walks to the storage part of the gym the students surround Joseph as a girl grabs onto his arm. "How did you catch that?!" "With the power of youth!" Joseph says imitating a certain bushy browed man. "Ha ha, just kidding I workout a lot." Joseph said, flexing his muscles looking as if he was gonna rip his shirt open. Two bags hit Joseph in the gut and head respectively as Eden walked over, picked up both bags, and spilled them out revealing bright dodge balls.
"ALRIGHT STUDENTS, today we will be playing dodgeball to see how we are as a collective." Eden grabs two random students and makes them captains. "Alright, you two pick whoever you want and go to your respective sides." The two students look at each other. "I PICK JOSEPH!" then both say in tandem. Eden sighs, flips a coin, and slams it onto his palm. "Heads or tails?" "Heads." Joseph says. Eden reveals his hand and shows it was heads. "Alright Go to the first captain Joseph." The first captain being the one that grabbed his arm earlier. "I guess I'm with you cutie." Joseph said in a flirty way, making the girl blush. Eden sighs "You can flirt later Joseph." Eden said, turning towards the captains. "ALRIGHT, now pick your people and if I need to toss another coin, somebody is going to do wall sits with 30-pound barbells." Five minutes go by as the captains pick their teams while that is happening Eden sets dodgeballs in the middle of the court.
"Alright everyone get into positions. 3..2..1.. GO!" Eden yelled out. Everybody runs and grabs a ball causing multicolored balls to start flying. Joseph catches and throws the most as all of them reach their target taking out everybody. Except for four students who dive and try to evade Joseph as much as possible. Eden steps over to the losing side and catches a ball that one of Joseph's teammates threw, getting him out, and bringing everybody on the losing team back. "Alright Joseph, I think that you had enough fun for the day."
Eden tosses a ball that bounces off each player and hits half of Joseph's team. "Now let us do something to make this day less boring." Eden and Joseph both throw the balls as fast as they can, not caring about who gets hit and only caring about who wins. Joseph acts like he's in bullet time while Eden dives, rolls around, and does unnecessary backflips to dodge nonexistent dodgeballs. Eden and Joseph eventually get each other out and decide to both pass out on the floor off of the court. "Class, before I nap you all get free time, so play the game or don't." Eden says while yawning and finding a comfortable spot on his chair to pass out on. After gym class, Joseph goes to the rest of his classes and finishes the school day. Once the school bell rings all the students either go home, go to their clubs, or stick around to finish work or study. Eden walks into his office, locks the door, and opens his cabinet to reveal an altar. He lights the candles, closes his eyes, takes a deep breath, and starts to pray.
"Oh Lord, who thou are in heaven, I ask that you listen to me for a moment. I have fully infiltrated the school and made contact with devils in this school. I ask for the strength to resist the urge to destroy them as I cannot let my anger beat out my need to complete my mission. I also gained a church of yours that I am trying to restore to the best of my abilities." Eden chuckles a bit, "I might need to speak with Lord Micheal to see if he would be able to spare me some angels to rebuild the church. Wouldn't that be a nice thing to happen? Well, I think that will be all, I hope that my prayers find you in good spirits. Amen and Amen." Eden gets up and hears someone knock on the door opening it, he sees Kiba.
Scene Switch Joseph's pov -3:27 p.m.
Joseph is seen walking down the hallway to the student council's room, finally reaching the end he knocks on the door. "Who is it?" A feminine voice calls out. "It's Joseph," he said in a flat voice. "Come in." Opening the door Joseph sees Sona sitting behind her desk and a woman with different colored eyes to the right of her, and all the other pieces of her peerage. "What can I help you with Joseph?" Sona asked, gesturing at a seat for him to sit down at. Joseph took the seat across from her. "I wanna know who broke into my house last night." Joseph said in an annoyed tone putting his hands together and elbows on his knees. Everybody looked at each other with slight worry as Sona cleared her throat and sat up straight.
"Well I suppose telling you would be better than lying, it was Rias and her peerage on my order." Sona said honorably not throwing her friend under the proverbial bus. "Figured." Joseph said, "Well my place wasn't left in a bad state so the punishment won't be too harsh." Joseph said, sighing. Sona having a bead of sweat fall off her face spoke. "P-punishment?" she said warily. Joseph stood up. "I had to fix my entire house." Joseph then took his right arm and swiped everything off of Sona's desk to the right. "That's for the order, now if you excuse me I have to visit a certain redhead, sorry about the mess." Joseph then walked out of the room leaving everyone stunned. "I didn't think he'd be so petty." Tsubaki said, shocked. "It's better than getting hit." Saji said, letting out a sigh of relief. "Then you can clean up this mess, Saji." Sona said in an authoritative tone. "Yes ma'am." he said with tear-filled eyes.
Scene switch Eden's POV- 3:28
Eden looks past Kiba for anybody else but once he sees nobody else is with Kiba, Eden relaxes and crosses his arms. "Yuto Kiba, what an honor it is to see you. To what do I owe the pleasure of seeing you today." Kiba with a strained face responds. "Sorry for the intrusion Mr. Eden however, my master wishes to speak with you about the matters of last night since we saw you fly away from the church." Eden nods and closes the doors to the altar, putting Kiba at ease for a moment. "Well, since you are a good kid usually and you have been nothing but respectful. It's the least I can do." Kiba signals Eden to follow him. Once they leave the gym and then the school towards the abandoned one. "So Kiba, I am guessing you have a Sacred gear, correct?" Kiba looks at Eden with an expression similar to "No duh." "Yes I do, I have the ability to make swords. It's called sword birth, how about you?" Eden looks pleasantly surprised and smiles. "Well isn't that a coincidence, I have Blade-blacksmith. It's the exact same as yours… but holy and nice."
Kiba looks at Eden with an eyeless smile. "Holy and nice you say as far as I'm concerned Mr. Eden your holy power is anything but nice." he finishes in a passive-aggressive tone. Eden shrugs and rolls his eyes a bit, "Eh to each their own kid, but I think that nothing has a born sense of good or evil, it is our actions that lead us to good and evil. Jesus Christ died for us to be redeemed, and so even though I don't like devils, I still believe that they can be redeemed in the light of God."
"Please stop before you make me throw up my lunch." Kiba says with a beautiful smile on his face. "Oh… sorry kid, I should remember prayers make devil's sick." Eden pats his back while walking with him to the abandoned school. Finally making it to the old school building they see a familiar face standing in front of it. "Oh hey Kid, why are you here of all places?" "I'm here to get retribution for the tainting of my home." Joseph said, eyeing Kiba. Eden looks shocked and even offended that they would invade his nemesis's house when that was his job. "What did they take?" Sighing Joseph responds.
"They didn't take anything but they fucked up the way my house looked they didn't put the weights back to where they are supposed to be and they move the pots and pans to the FUCKING OVEN!" Joseph finished in a fit of rage. Eden looks a bit dejected, "A-are you sure… d-didn't you check your refrigerator?" Joseph calmed himself before saying. "Eden I swear by your God if you touched my fridge I'm going to hurt you." "I DON'T CARE DID YOU LOOK IN THE FRIDGE?!" Eden says with tears in his eyes. Joseph with rage in his voice. "NO, I DIDN'T BECAUSE THESE BASTARDS FUCKED WITH EVERYTHING I WAS TOO MAD TO EAT."
Eden looks down and sighs as tears hit the grass making pitiful taps onto the floor and enters the defunct school with Kiba looking even more confused as he follows close behind. "My stalwart rival, why do you cry?" Joseph yells out as Eden scales the stairs causing him to stop. Eden turns to Joseph with his face puffy from the crying, "I-its fine, my rival… I'll see you tomorrow…" Eden walks up to the second floor where he falls onto his knees and bangs on the old wooden boards causing them to splinter.
"IT SHOULD'VE BEEN ME, NOT THEM! I AM HIS RIVAL! HE CHEATED ON ME WITH A PACK OF HUSSIES! IT'S NOT FAIR!" Kiba with a look of what the fuck all over his face walks past Eden and waits by the door to the room Rias is in. Eden jumps up like nothing happened and follows Kiba. As Joseph runs up the stairs Jumping off the top step and rolling on the ground pulls out a non-existent ring for Eden. "Marry me my eternal nemesis." Kiba smacks Eden and Joseph out of their delusions and yanks Joseph up to see Rias as well.
Rias has a face of confusion before saying "Welcome to the Occault Resu-" "BITCH YOU FUCKED MY HOUSE UP!" Joseph says in a fit of rage, Joseph continues. "YOU TORE THROUGH MY HOUSE LEAVING EVERYTHING OFF CENTER! DESTROYED MY HOME GYM LEAVING THE WEIGHTS EVERYWHERE, MY BATHROOM TOWELS STRUNG ACROSS THE FLOOR, AND LAST BUT CERTAINLY NOT LEAST MY POTS AND FUCKING PANS IN THE GODDAMN OVEN! WHO THE FUCK PUTS POTS AND PANS IN THE OVEN!?" Joseph's voice boomed. In a fit of rage, Joseph grabbed the nearest couch and tossed it out the window, leaving the left side of the room without a couch. Once he calmed down a little he looked at Rias and pointed around the room.
"Ya'll have to be broke as fuck if you put pots and pans in the oven." a small white-haired girl looks up "Sorry, I didn't know we had to put things back till we had to leave." Joseph walks over and backhands the girl, when Rias gets up to speak he walks over to her desk and punches a hole in the middle before ripping it in two. He then kicks the coffee table into Kiba's chest, knocking him down. "That's what YOU get for ruining the gym and don't act like it wasn't you, I SEEN THAT ONE STRAND OF BLOND HAIR UNDER THE TOWEL RACK!" Kiba tries to stumble up but Eden kicks his leg out from under him, he gives a smug smile and thumbs up to Joseph making Joseph get a child-like cartoonish grin and respond back with a thumbs up before belly-flopping out the window.
Eden clears his throat before saying anything. "What may you need of me, little Miss Gremory?" "Don't even start, just fucking leave. Koneko go get the couch after you clean off your face." Eden goes to leave, Kiba tries to stumble back up. "H-hold it coa-" Eden backwards kicks Kiba in the face making a cracking noise before he slams the door and runs out the window at the bottom of the stairs breaking another window. Joseph looks over and sees Eden puts up three fingers and counts down, once reaching zero a loud "MOTHER FUCKING ASSHOLES!" can be heard from Rias as they both burst out into tears of laughter.
"Let's get ramen on me." Joseph said to Eden. "Sure I'm down to get some grub." after saying that Joseph and Eden go to the shopping district in Kuoh. "There's a ramen place I heard about called Teuchi Ramen. There's Miso, Tonkotsu, Kaisen, Hiyashi Chuka, they got Tantanmen. I personally like Tant-." "Do they have any seafood" "Yeah don't worry my rival they have everything you can wish for, it's called Kaisen as I just said." at hearing this, Eden leans back and smiles at the sun. "Be prepared to pay for 3 bowls of that Kaisun ramen or whatever it's called." "I got the money to do so, so I expect us to be full after this." Joseph said "Let's head out!" Eden exclaimed.
Making their way to the solace Eden kept good on his word he did eat three kaizen bowls while Joseph had two bowls of Tantanmen ramen, one bowl of Miso ramen, one bowl of Tonkotsu ramen and one last bowl of Tantanmen ramen. "You sure did like the Kaisen bowl." "I loved it, it was so good." Eden said with tears in his eyes. "Alright, I better get back home. I have to make a plan for tomorrow's class. I'll be seeing you, my nemesis." "I shall see you tomorrow, my stalwart rival." Eden walks off and waves goodbye as Joseph does the same. Eden and Joseph go their separate ways and walk back to their homes respectively. Joseph walks into his house, feeling happy that his house is just like he left it. Eden walks into his house, changes into his exorcist uniform, grabs his guns, and leaves. Joseph opens his fridge and instead of his milk being where it is supposed to be, he finds a cake replacing its spot. There was writing on it "Fear the power of the TUNGSTEN CUBE!"
End of chapter 4: Life 2 Tungsten Cube.
A/N: A little bit of comical fun and positivity for this chapter as a pallet cleanser in a sense, I hope your reading was great and always be sure to send me messages on how to improve.