Uncommonly Intelligent Chapter 14: Exit, Stage Right, a pride and prejudice fanfic

Chapter 14: Exit, Stage Right

Netherfield Park, Hertfordshire, October 6, 1811

Darcy was halfway up the stairs before he realized that there was a bright side to Miss Bingley's unforgivable breach of civility. If Bingley held firm, Darcy would be rid of her, and more importantly, Georgiana would not have to deal with her. He had worried that Miss Bingley might smother his sister with false flattery, and would generally serve as a bad example for her.

He had not yet received a reply to his request that his cousin Richard bring Georgiana to Netherfield, but he expected he would very shortly. Of course, simply showing up without warning was the kind of stunt his cousin delighted in at Darcy house, but Darcy didn't think Richard would do that to Bingley - at least, not until he knew him better.

It also occurred to Darcy that Miss Bingley's exit from Netherfield would free up his two largest footmen, Osmond and Dow, who were currently pulling night duty making sure that no one who favored orange gowns lost her way and accidentally entered his bedroom at night. They would now be free to act as bodyguards for his sister when she arrived. While he had no specific concerns regarding Georgiana's physical safety at Netherfield, he was still new to the area, and it would be far better to err on the side of caution.

He reversed course, and had just reached the bottom of the stairs when he saw Bingley striding rapidly out of the library.

"Bingley! Were you serious when you said you would keep Caroline confined to her room?"

"I was, and I am," said Bingley. "I gave her every chance to amend her behavior, but she has gone too far this time. I'm sorry if you don't agree, but I shall not tolerate it any longer."

Darcy laid a hand on Bingley's shoulder. "I do agree, and I am glad to see you finally taking action. Indeed, I have hoped you would for some time, but it was not my place to tell you how to manage your sister. But since you have made this resolution, I have a confession to make."

Bingley was taken aback. "A confession? Whatever could you have to confess to?"

Darcy looked embarrassed. "I have had two of my footmen standing guard outside my bedroom door at night in case your sister was minded to attempt a compromise." When Bingley looked sick, Darcy quickly continued, "Be easy, Bingley, it was just a precaution, and they have reported nothing suspicious. I probably would have had them desist quite soon, for my fears seem to have been unwarranted. The reason I am telling you this now is to offer their services to you, for both our objectives will be achieved if they stand guard outside your sister's door tonight, rather than mine."

Darcy stopped speaking as Caroline and Louisa exited the library and headed for the stairs. The men moved aside as Caroline acted as if they did not exist, with her nose in the air and looking neither right nor left. Louisa followed her, but at least acknowledged Charles with a glare in his direction. As both ladies ascended the stairs, Darcy said quietly to Bingley, "Perhaps we should continue our discussion in your study."

Bingley readily agreed. After refining their plans, Bingley rang for Mrs. Nicholls so that she could accompany him when he went to Miss Elizabeth's room to try to convince her not to leave so hastily.

While Bingley waited for the housekeeper, Darcy found his valet and gave him his instructions. Billingsley wisely made no comment other than to say that he would see to the reassignment of Darcy's footmen at once, although Darcy could see that he was dying to know more. Darcy said, "We shall talk later, though I would imagine that it will be all over the house in no time," for there had been more than one servant in the area when Bingley had been shouting at his sister. He went back to Bingley's study, where Bingley was just finishing explaining things to Mrs. Nicholls. The two men and the housekeeper then proceeded upstairs to Elizabeth's room.

Mrs. Nicholls knocked, but there was no answer. She then tried knocking softly on Jane's door, which was opened, but only a crack, by Elizabeth. When she saw Mrs. Nicholls Elizabeth relaxed, and allowed herself to be persuaded to accompany the three back to her room to hear them out.

"Come, Louisa, let us see if Charles has cooled down enough to listen to reason," said Caroline Bingley. She was looking over her shoulder at Louisa as she opened the door to exit her bedroom, so she did not see the cloth-covered wall that filled the doorway, and almost lost her feet when she rebounded off it. The wall rotated 180 degrees, and she saw that it had actually been the back of an extremely large footman whose shoulders were nearly as wide as the frame. His young face bore a perfectly bland expression.

"Beg pardon, ma'am," he said. She expected profuse apologies and groveling, but when none were forthcoming, her anger grew.

"You clumsy oaf! Get out of the way!"

"Sorry, ma'am, my instructions are to remain here."

Caroline was coming to grips with the fact that she could not look down her nose at this man without being in danger of tipping over backwards. Still, she drew herself up as much as she could, and said haughtily, "I am the mistress of this house."

The footman nodded agreeably.

It again took a moment for Caroline to realize that she was to get nothing more from him, so she said in as imperious a tone as possible, "I demand that you stand aside."

There was no response.

Caroline tried another tack. "My brother is not thinking clearly at the moment, but that shall soon pass, and then he shall restore my authority. You would do well to remember that, lest you find yourself dismissed without a reference tomorrow."

"I'm a simple man. I live in the present," the footman said.

Caroline completely lost her temper and stamped her foot. "For the last time, move aside!" she all but shrieked.

Somewhat to Caroline's surprise, the footman did move aside, but her satisfaction was short-lived as she saw that he did so not because of her demand, but because Darcy's valet, who she vaguely recalled was named Billingsgate, had just arrived to take the footman's place in the doorway.

"Good evening, madam," said Billingsley, "I am here to help you pack, should you wish it."

Even in her fury, Caroline realized that Billingsley was much smaller than the footman, now standing off to the right. She calculated that she might slip past the valet to the left, but then she saw that a second footman, who if anything was even larger than the first, was guarding that direction. His expression was one of amusement, and he seemed to share his fellow's lack of concern regarding his future employment prospects. Her hope of escape was completely demolished when Louisa quietly pointed out what Caroline had been too angry to notice. "Caro, look at the footman's livery. He does not work for us; he works for Darcy. You cannot threaten him."

Caroline almost retorted that she would soon be Mrs. Darcy, and then there would be many who would rue this day, but she managed to regain some self-control. Attempting a mask of indifference, she said, "I suppose we must grant Charles his little victory for now, Louisa. You may as well pack, too, unless you want to stay in this god-forsaken backwater without anyone to talk to."

Louisa looked warily at the footmen, but they made no effort to stop her as she exited Caroline's room. Billingsley repeated his offer to Caroline, but she only scowled at him and said, "Just send my maid to me," and slammed the door in his face.

Louisa went to her room and rang for her maid, and then opened the closet and began sorting through her gowns. She heard the door open behind her and said, "I think it best we pack both trunks, Abigail, for I am not sure whether we shall ever return here."

"Going somewhere, are we?" said a deep voice that was most certainly not Abigail.

Louisa turned and said, "Winston, you should begin packing, too. Apparently, Charles is serious about us leaving."

Hurst sat on a chair and crossed his legs. "He is deadly serious, but only about Caroline. We shall remain here."

"Do not be absurd! Why should we want to stay here, when we can be in London?"

"For one thing, Bingley still needs a hostess. For another, I want to stay here because the shooting is excellent, and that French cook is superb. Therefore, I will stay here. And therefore, you shall stay here. Caroline may think I married you only for your money, but you and I both know that I had other reasons."

Louisa reddened, but not in maidenly modesty. She did not at all enjoy Hurst's nocturnal attentions; she endured them only because she knew it to be her duty to produce an heir. And not only her duty, but her hope. Because one day, and it could not come too soon, Hurst's father would die, and she would become mistress of an estate. And if she had a son, and Hurst drank himself into an early grave as she expected, she would become the effective master of an estate.

After being informed that Caroline would not be joining them for dinner and would be leaving Netherfield the next morning, Elizabeth could hardly refuse Bingley's entreaty that she and Jane remain at Netherfield that evening, especially as it was already growing dark outside. It would certainly be full dark before she and Jane could have their trunks packed and be ready to leave.

The sisters discussed whether they should still go home the following day, and both were inclined to do so; indeed, Jane was feeling so much better that there would have been little question, had not Bingley practically begged them to stay. Lizzy was amused that he would do so, and could think of only one reason for it. Jane turned red as a beet when Lizzy teasingly asked her whyever Mr. Bingley was so insistent.

Unfortunately for Bingley, the sisters' inclination to leave the next day became a firm intention at dinner that evening, for although Mrs. Hurst said nothing (literally nothing) to them, she fairly radiated hostility. Louisa was angry over both the banishing of Caroline, and the refusal of her husband to allow her to accompany Caroline to London. In the end, even Bingley could see that there was no salvaging the situation.

Netherfield Park, Hertfordshire, October 7, 1811

In spite of having trouble falling asleep after the turmoil of the previous day, Lizzy awoke feeling better than she had all week. Knowing that Jane was completely out of danger, and anticipation of returning home to Longbourn, made her fairly leap out of bed. She felt like taking a pre-breakfast walk to burn off some of her energy, but she was concerned that she might run into Caroline, and did not wish for any further unpleasantness. After dithering for a moment, she decided that she could likely take her walk and be back upstairs before Caroline ventured from her room, so she quickly dressed and exited her bedroom as quietly as she could in her walking boots.

As a further precaution against unwelcome encounters, she intended to slip out the kitchen door rather than the main entrance, so she headed towards the door to the servant stairs, located near the corner in the hallway that separated the guest wing from the family wing. But just as she reached it, she heard a door in the family wing open, and the voice of Charles Bingley shouting, "The carriage will leave in one hour, Caroline, and make no mistake, you shall be on it! Whether your luggage is on it, or indeed whether you are dressed, is of no concern to me!"

Lizzy quickly retreated to her room, but gave a mental cheer that Mr. Bingley was fulfilling his promise. She had expected that Caroline would try to change his mind, and failing that, try various stratagems to delay her departure. Evidently, she had just attempted to plead that it would take her all day to dress and pack, but Mr. Bingley was clearly having none of it.

Watching from her bedroom window, Lizzy saw the carriage pull up a bit less than an hour later, but it was another twenty minutes before she saw Mr. Bingley march Caroline out to it. Close enough, she thought. She saw Caroline slap her brother's hand away as he offered to help her in. As he closed the door, Mr. Bingley said something to his sister, and her face appeared at the carriage window with an expression that Lizzy would have called pure hatred, had not Caroline then looked directly at Lizzy's window and glared with a venom that made her previous expression seem benign.

Lizzy knew that Caroline could not see her. Her room was right next to Jane's, and every day when she came back from her morning walk, at about this same hour, Lizzy had looked at Jane's window hoping she might see her looking out, so she knew that nothing within could be seen unless it were right up against the glass. Yet if ever there was a hatred strong enough to penetrate walls, it was displayed on Caroline Bingley's face at that moment, and Lizzy felt a chill down her spine.

A/N: Thanks again to everyone who follows, favs, or reviews, especially those who give constructive criticism.