(This fanfiction is a Your Lie in April FanFic. It takes place in [maybe] the same timeline, since Kaori is dead. This will be a LONG story, so make sure to remember the title or something just in case. This is my first FanFic, so [hopefully] enjoy!)

DECEMBER:

I have a sort of love/hate relationship with winter. I try to love it for the sake of you, Kaori, but without you it's hard to do. I'm just still trying to adjust to a new mindset, one similar to yours.

Dad is still away, somewhere in the world. I wonder what my life would be like if he was home more often. He pays for the house, because I can't. (Although I'm getting to that age) Sometimes, every month or two, he stops by for a few days, but the bond between us has loosened. Now to think about it, I don't even think we had a "bond". I was always with my mother and Mrs. Seto. (Who recently found a new husband. Yay! No more Idiot Husband.) I wonder what kind of person my father is. I mean, I hear some of his phone calls, but I just hear him say things such as: "Yeah, I see, Okay." I never knew who he was. I wonder if anyone really knows him. Damn, he's probably popping bottles somewhere in Europe or something. I hope I can meet him one day. Your parents are always welcoming to me. I feel like they are my parents now. I feel welcomed to your family. (Oh, yeah and Mrs. Seto is my guardian, and she and her husband are on their honeymoon, but her daughter stays with me. She started to entertain herself, and play with other little kids.)

I heard that they are working on a cure for Friedriech's ataxia, the thing that you had. They haven't made it yet, but in a year or two it might be complete. I wish you were here for that. You are probably watching down from the stars every night seeing the little things that happen. I honestly just wish I knew how to enjoy as much as you did. I'm still adjusting to this mindset, so I honestly have no idea what to do. I used to send these notes on balloons for you, (so you could read them from the stars) but I will also keep these notes so I could bring these to heaven and read them with you. Eh, that'll be boring for both of us, so I guess I'll put this book at your grave, and then retrieve it every day.

CHRISTMAS EVE:

Hi Kao, this is Tsubaki.

I heard that Kousei was writing to you every day, so I will too. Baseball season is coming up, and we will start the games early! In march! I have one question for you; what made Watari special to you? I know that Arima was special (Maybe) to you because he understood you, and you understood him, but what about Watari?

P.S.

Watari said sorry for going out with Sakura and some other girl the day you went to the hospital. I don't even think you know that yet, but he thinks you figured it out. So if this is news to you, Watari has been going out with them every day until your surgery. He stopped dating for a while ever since your death. He's really sorry. That's a first.

Yo, Kao, it's Watari.

I saw Kousei writing these in the music room, so I will do it too! I can't believe it's been almost a year since we last saw each other! I miss the occasional hospital visits, going to the fair, I really just miss you. We all miss you. Especially Kousei. He's been having a hard time coping, but he seems to be doing much better than all of us expected. He usually just stays quiet, and plays piano by himself. Please correct me if I'm wrong, (Although you know that I never am) I think you and Kousei did music to release your feelings. To play for each other. You really wanted to live, he really wanted to die, soon, it somehow changed. I think piano is the main reason why he's doing better, and you are the reason he plays. I love you.

Dear Kaori,

It's already Christmas Eve. Tsubaki and I are working together on presents, but we don't work together on presents for each other. They still haven't found the letter yet, but I think they'll know exactly how you felt. Yes, I'm making presents for you, don't yell at me if they aren't what you wanted. Here are some canelés for you. Finish every last bite. You have to. I'm so sorry about all those visits to the hospital where I snapped. I really am sorry we didn't talk more. I love you.

-Arima Kousei

CHRISTMAS

Hey Kaori, it's me, Watari.

I miss you. I really do. My eyes get "Watari" when I see your house. Haha, see what I did there? I know, I'm the best. Guess what I got for you? You'll never guess! Here it is, a chocolate cake violin! We'll all eat it together! (For you) Anyways, Kousei has been working really hard on many gifts for you, as well as Tsubaki. Haha, they won't tell me what they're doing!

I never say "I wish Kao was here", because I know you are. You are watching down on us, waiting for us every day. You aren't just waiting, you are with us. Kousei was the first one to say that, and soon, we all believed it. I hope you have a Merry Christmas, and a happy New Year! This year is gonna be great! (Although April will be really hard.) I love you!

Kaori,

It's me, Tsubaki. I really thought you were gone. You worried me!

I forgot you were here the entire time. Kousei made sure to remind us every time we said something like "I wish she was here." I miss you. I think we all do, and we gotta accept that.

Oops, I almost forgot, Merry Christmas! Me and Kousei made a video collage of all of the things we four (You, me, Watari and Kousei) did together! When we played catch by the riverside, jumped off the bridge, made shiny mud balls together, we had lunch together in the music room, just us four together. I had to yell at Kousei a few times when he made mistakes, but he did alright. Here is your present! I hope you enjoy it the most you can!

Dear Kaori,

Hi Kaori, it's another Christmas without you. Oh, I forgot, you are here. Sorry. Anyways, here's your present, a box of canelés, some really, REALLY sweet things from your parent's bakery, and finally, well, alright. I- no we composed a piece after you died, here it is. I won't release it, or show it to anyone else. I wrote this for you, so this is yours. I hope you enjoy it.

Oh, I can see your parents in the distance. Oh, I forgot to tell you, I got a job at their bakery. Well, a Saturday job. I love music, but I wanted more to my life than that, maybe a new hobby or so. I automatically thought about baking and your parents. I haven't started the job, I actually got hired yesterday, but I will go there every weekend. I wonder what it will be like there. After all, it's just your parents.

Bye, I hope you are doing well. I know you are.

-Sincerely, Arime Kousei.