Motion Sickness V3 Chapter 185: Cameras Ready III, a rwby fanfic

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"I thought you did okay…" Weiss trailed off. I took a seat by our dining table and sighed.

"Are you kidding? She penned me in with how I didn't join the Vale Guard."

"You didn't give anything away and defended yourself well. She had quite a bit of ammunition. She had your ratings for your powers from Atlas. I'm not entirely sure how she got those. I haven't even seen them. Lavender came at you about me as well. I thought you did okay."

"She made me look like a walking unchecked weapon of mass destruction."

"You are a weapon of mass destruction. But you're not just a living weapon. You have feelings and people who care about you. She made you out to be interested in Atlas's wellbeing more than Vale's. Sure. But I think you handled it well. She didn't know about your psychosis. That would have been disastrous really. And if she had, well, lots of people have psychosis and lead normal and well adjusted lives."

"Those people don't have high Brute and Striker ratings with smaller but still decent Blaster, Breaker, Trump, and Mover ones? I also might have a Thinker power when I change. I think it makes me a touch smarter. Most people couldn't fight off an army or bring down an airship single handedly. I can. And it's so much worse than even Lavender knew. I'm for real being mind raped every single night if not more often. I'm susceptible to mind control by a monster goddess. If only she really knew how unstable I was: how unstable I am. Both physically and mentally."

"Okay. So things are bad for you. We already knew this."

"Now all of Vale thinks I'm an Atlas stooge."

"So what?"

"'So what?'"

"Yeah. So what? Ruby and I still love you. Glynda isn't going to fire you. You defended yourself well enough. She didn't make you seem like a raving lunatic. She made you seem like a force for the good of all Cetra."

"When most people get frustrated they can't rip a person in half and the thought of doing so doesn't cross their mind. It does for me. I'm so fucked up. I'm tired of feeling so fucked up. I'm tired of being so fucked up."

"I'm so proud of you and everything you've overcome."

"That makes me uncomfortable…"

"Because I'm a woman?"

"Because it's a compliment…"

"Well get over it," Weiss muttered. She walked over to me where I sat and straddled me. She wrapped her arms around my neck and made me look at her. I sighed outwardly again. Her nose gently touched mine and she forced my eyes to meet hers. I couldn't look away. "You did well. You even managed to help me out a little while you were defending yourself. You made Atlas out as well as could be expected. You did the best you could with what you had and the training you had. She ambushed you with information out of nowhere and that she really shouldn't have had. You really are too hard on yourself. You always have been."

Her nose breezed my cheek and her lips brushed mine. I sighed into the kiss and moved my hands from my side up the inside of her thighs to the outside. I traveled further up to her hips and let my hands rest there.

She pulled back a hair so that her lips moved against mine when she spoke. "I admire your desire to push yourself and expect more out of yourself. It's a part of who you are. It's your semblance. Your self hatred is too, a little. But you have to see when it crosses the line and you demand too much of yourself. You have to see where this becomes bitter and resentment instead of just a hunger for more. You did everything you could and it was enough. It's not bad that you're hungry. I like that about you. But you're not starving. You have succeeded and you've accomplished so much since you first came to Beacon. You were meant to be a sleeper agent and bring Salem the relics or maidens or anything about Ozpin's plans. You didn't. You overcame what you were supposed to be. You dropped your mask and let yourself be yourself. You found the person you were meant to be. It cost you so much. Nobody will disagree with that. It has cost you more than any other person could have handled. But you were able to handle it. You are handling it. And then you're doing even more than even that. If I were you I would be in a corner muttering gibberish in a psychiatric hospital."

"Everything you've been through has been so hard. So hard," she whispered. "Your life has been a tragedy. I don't know how you do it but you keep going. You just keep going. In Mistral you looked good even though life was just throwing curve balls at you. You were batting a thousand even though out of everyone from Beacon you arguably came out the worst of it. Yang only lost her arm but you lost so much more than that. You lost your partner. If I lost Ruby at Beacon that would have been it for me. And Ruby didn't love me like Pyrrha loved you. You are so strong. You're so strong. I can't even believe it. When I saw you again in Mistral you were on your feet and swinging. You were taking care of everyone. You dropped all the acts and false bravado and you were being yourself and it was enough. It was more than enough."

"It was so not enough. I killed Ren and Nora," I cut in.

"Salem killed Ren and Nora," Weiss cut in. "Salem did. Not you. It wasn't you. I saw her take you in Atlas and the way you moved and it was not you. Salem is not you. You aren't her. I know you don't feel like that all the time but it's true. You aren't what she wants you to be. You overcame that too. I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw you in Atlas. You had the relic and your weapon. You had new clothes and you looked good. You looked hot even though you were being fucked every which way by life. No one has ever had it harder than you. No one. Ever. In all of history. And you're doing so well. You're handling it all and going above and beyond. And Pyrrha's death wasn't your fault. It was Cinder and Salem. It was not your fault, Cloud."

"Gods, you even changed your name," she went on. "Anybody else would have just kept it but you decided that you had to be somebody else if being Jaune Arc made you Salem's puppet. Pyrrha loved you and it wasn't your fault you didn't know that either. If Pyrrha really wanted you she should have made it clear just like Ruby and I have done. She should have chosen to survive."

"I changed my name to hide from you guys. Not to resist Salem."

"You're twisting history against yourself. You could have gone back to calling yourself Jaune Arc if you wanted. You didn't. You stuck with Cloud as an act of rebellion. And you shouted it out at your sisters. 'I am Cloud,' you screamed at them. I heard you."

"Pyrrha would-"

"She chose to die, Cloud. She did. Pyrrha chose to die. She chose death. She could have ran with you. She chose to fight. She wanted to die. You know that. You know that deep down. And how much could she have really loved you if she wanted that? I would live with you, given the choice. It's not your fault she wanted that and it's not your fault you didn't know how she felt. You were new to the world and life and everything. You have to stop blaming yourself for things that aren't even your fault."

"There are things you can't change and I'm glad you can't change them. Some of them, at least. I'm glad that you're mine and Ruby's. I'm glad that you decided to not make Ruby choose. I love you. I love what you've become. I love how you take care of me. I can't wait for you to take care of my and Ruby's babies. I love how you're still growing. I love that you decided you wanted to have kids with me even though the risk is there. I love that you share me with Ruby and I love that you share Ruby with me. There is so much to love about you. You're not just a weapon. You're not what Salem wants you to be. You have to stop hating yourself for things that aren't even your fault. You have to stop hating yourself for things I love about you. I love that you see things in yourself that you want to change. That's a good thing. But when you shift to hate I have a problem with that," she spoke so quietly against my lips. I was tasting her the entire time and feeling her breath on my face. She rested her forehead against mine.

I closed my eyes hard and realized that I was crying.

"You have worked so unbelievably hard. You've had to be alone at the worst moments in your life. No one has suffered more and faster than you have. No one. I used to think you were so weak. You used to lie to yourself and everyone. But then you shed it like a second skin and became this other person who is so incredibly strong and honest. You became Cloud when Beacon fell. Didn't you. I know that you did. I fell in love with Cloud. I'm glad I got the chance to. I see how much pain you're in and I'm telling you that it doesn't have to be that way. Let Ruby and I help you. Let Ruby and I love you. We both love you so, so much."

"I'm tired," I croaked. "I'm so tired."

"Then rest. Sleep. I'll safeguard you while you sleep. I'll protect your body while you dream and battle on nightmare shores. And when you wake up… I'll be here when you wake up. I'll guide you back to me again. I won't let you drift away forever. Go. Sleep, now with me. Rest, it's been so long. So incredibly long since you relaxed and let yourself feel peace. Have peace, Cloud. And know that this won't be the last time you get some."

"I can't. I have to stay sharp and focused. I can't afford to tighten up or to relax. She'll get me. She gets me every time I sleep. I'm sick of sleeping. Long nights where I only feel it. I feel her. She calls to me across space and time. She is a part of me."

"Maybe… but not all of you is all her. You have choice. You have dreams. You're real. You're so real. How can I convince you that you're real? You are somebody worth falling in love with. You're worth loving. How many girls asked you for a dance the other night? How many people look at you and like what they see? Ruby and I both want you to father our children. I fell so hard for you that it hurt. And you have only struggled more and overcome more since then. Rest, now, with me. Go to sleep. The world can wait while you recover. It has to. You need to rest. You deserve some rest. How long has been since you knew true rest from everything and everyone? Something has always been pressing on the corner of your thoughts. Always something. There's nothing now. Nothing that is so important that it can't wait for you to be ready for once. Be at rest. Be at peace. Focus on me and the sound of my voice. I'm here, Cloud. I always will be. And you're Cloud. Never forget that. And you might be tired but you're not tired of me and Ruby. You might be running but not from us. Let us be whole with you. Take the time you need to sleep and be at peace. You deserve and the world can wait while you do. It can. It has to. You're not ready and you need time for peace."

Then she started singing as she sat in my lap. She moved her head down so her forehead set against my shoulder and I could feel her voice through our touch as well as hear it. I still cried softly and my glimmering tears fell into her long snow-silver hair.

"Please rest like you belong here; your chest is heaving; I listen to your breathing; you don't have to disappear."

"Soar out over the long land; and as you're leaving; watch the city receding; is it everything you planned?"

"Do you want me t' take it off? Like a loom weaving; together we are cleaving; so weak you can barely cough."

"I want to see the light when it finally burns out; and I want to feel you against me when you make me shout. Your watch ticks beside my head but I hardly hear it; you know that it is not something I am prone to admit. My hands reach-touch your face and bring you in for a kiss; gods above, save-help me, your watch is so merciless."

"This our tangle embody; The thread is spinning; watch as our cord is thinning; strain me against my body."

"Strands of light through the windows; undo my clothing; pull-tug 'way on my dressing; intertwinment continues."

"Heat courses through the wire; gossamer braiding; I listen to your moaning; I take time to admire."

"When the wick finally breaks; our sweat is clinging; the patient clock keeps ticking; I lay back and feel my aches."

"Attire scattered 'cross the floor; You leave me panting; your small smirk-smile is roping; plan to leave me wanting more."

"With each breath a hurricane; small fingers groping; aura so intoxicating; I easily see your pain."

I relaxed as I listened to her voice rise and fall. She carried each note with a wet and heavy, sad weight but also a touch of gossamer hope. I closed my eyes and let my head fall back.

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-WG