I would like to personally invite anyone (within reason) who thinks being part of Rivet City Security is an easy job to come spend a month or so working as one of us.

Now, hey, hey, that's not to say we don't have fun. Lana Danvers is one of the best shooters I've ever seen and has shot multiple mirelurks through the eyes with just a few shots from a pistol. Travers makes a mean lava cake, and I don't think I've ever tasted anything better. Karen can memorise entire security reports within a day or two, Dustin can repair weapons like it's nothing, and Jake Davis is quick on his feet and turning out to be one of our best new recruits, although he has been weirded out by the fact he has the same last name as Dr. Li's old friend and colleague despite not being related. Not quite sure how he can't wrap his head around the fact he's got a super fucking common last name, but it's whatever, just a weird thing of his. The weirdest thing about him is his jumpiness when he fires automatic weapons, which is why Lana's having Dustin work with him on it by killing mirelurks before graduating to raiders. Oh, and then there's Becky Lorin, also a little new but taking everything in stride and she taught me how to make mixed drinks like Long Island Iced Teas which apparently are a common vice where she's from up north. I can't remember the names of everyone on the force, but they're all fucking good people. Can't find better anywhere else, far as I know.

So, yeah, we know how to have fun, and we get our work done well. Doesn't make it easy. Try being woken up at two in the morning to have to kill a mirelurk infestation in the underground parts of the city. If you aren't paying enough attention because you're groggy, they can and will grab you wherever their pincers can reach. You haven't felt real pain until a mirelurk has snapped its pincers on your dick. You also haven't enjoyed killing a mirelurk to the point of being almost gleeful about it until that happens. According to Becky, the female equivalent would be them grabbing your tits, but, thankfully, none of the women on the force have ever had to deal with that. Closest thing was when one of the newcomers to the city tried cop a feel on Lana at one of the city's bars and got a concussion from her smacking him over the head with the butt of her gun. Not that I encourage violence, but the son of a bitch had it coming. Besides, unless something seriously bad happens, I don't interfere with the judgement of those on my force. Like I said, they're fucking good people and, so far, in the last who fucking knows how many years I've served on the force, I've never had to interfere with anyone's judgement. Civilians, sometimes, but never with those on the force.

The only time I've questioned the judgement of someone on the force was when Dustin got real drunk a few years back and Travers had to stop him from trying to carry a mirelurk carcass up from outside the city inside so he could show it off. Travers talked him out of it eventually, but I still can't figure out why the hell he wanted to show off the carcass of a mirelurk he killed just because it was fucking massive. I'm pretty sure he doesn't know how to do taxidermy, so that wouldn't have been a reason. Either way, he made it back without breaking any of his limbs and Travers didn't have to poke and prod him too much to find out Dustin had gotten stupid drunk before trying to carry the mirelurk around. Said it explained why he was waving it around like a rag doll, at least, until he ended up dropping it on his feet. At least it was the soft parts and not the shell, the way I heard the story anyways. But for me? I don't end up questioning my judgement after things all that often, if I were doing it too much there'd definitely be something wrong with me, but it's been a thing before. It has been a thing especially after hooking up with someone. Think the worst was after Lana and I got a bit high off a couple buckets of paint and glue and decided to head back to her apartment, strip, and attempt to paint some canvas she'd found laying around by having sex on it while covered in a ton of paint.

Long story short, we didn't make anything interesting or, at least, anything more interesting than one of those creepy images you think you see in that ink blotting test and, instead, she had to peel paint off her breasts with tweezers and I had to try and find a way to get paint off my dick. It came off eventually, but it was still aggravating. If we'd been less high, I'd probably have realised all of that could have been avoided if I'd just found a condom, but I think I'd lost the last few I kept laying around my apartment and, hey, we were in hers anyways. Either way I probably lost some and my dog might have eaten some of them too. Didn't end up mattering since Lana apparently hates them but I still wonder if they got chomped on. Thankfully I didn't have to think much about it since we both realised hooking up with each other and working closely together would be a mistake. It was fun, don't get me wrong, but we probably would have just gotten bored when we ran out of new ways to have sex. But other than hooking up with me (which was definitely a bad idea)? Danvers has some of if not the best judgement of anyone on the force. I'd trust her with my life, and, if I ever God forbid have to leave Rivet City, or have to leave the former Capital, or retire, or die, she's the one person I know would do right by the people of Rivet City and could keep the force together. Lana spends pretty much all of her time working or picking up other people's shifts if they need it, and, if anyone gives a solid fuck about this city and its people enough to do anything for their safety, it's Lana Leslie Danvers.

Speaking of the fleeting fucking thought of me ever retiring, if I do ever retire, I want to go out west and see New Vegas, live out there where it's wild. I've heard it's a hell of a town, and I'll never turn down the chance to go on an adventure.

Loving adventure is probably why I'm always antsy (and antsy-antsy) during the weekly meetings of the Rivet City Council.

Look, I don't have a problem with anyone on the Rivet City Council, and I get on pretty well with most of them. Seagrave is a little insufferable, and he and Bannon's constant fighting is tiresome, but it's routine at this point. Lana is laid back but still cares about getting shit done. Dr. Holt is annoyed by pretty much everything and sour faced (when isn't she though?) but Dr. Li is great. She doesn't socialise much, has always been kind of closed off, but she knows what she's doing – even though I can't understand her work – and she's a good friend. She's a little uncomfortable with the word sometimes, but I think she knows it's true. We've had each other's back plenty of times, especially pushing back against the Brotherhood when they try to take more control of Rivet City, and we talk pretty often. She's been a lot more open, recently, and I think it's because of her friend, James. He's just as brilliant a scientist as her, from what I've seen, anyways, and she's been happier than I've seen her in a while the month and a half he's been here. After she got over the initial shock. It took a little while, but she's been happy to have him here. And I think he's really happy to be here, too (but I'd put money on it being because he's got feelings for her, longing looks, lingering around…baby steps of feelings if I've ever seen them). I wonder if he'd make a good member of the Rivet City Council. Could replace Dr. Holt. I bet everyone would appreciate that, including her. She really hates the job and honestly I can't blame her with the way things are going right now.

Because, shit, it doesn't matter whether or not anyone wants to be here or not. The last two weeks have been a disaster thanks to the Brotherhood. They do a fuck ton of good, but they really want to have a hand in anything and everything.

"I'd like to say the Brotherhood situation is getting out of hand, but the hell are we supposed to do? You know why?" Danvers says, slamming the door shut pretty much the second I get into the room. "Because we need them, and they need us."

"Any trouble with the high schoolers?" I ask. Some of them are rowdy. I'd be proud of them if they were a little more careful about it. "Or something else?"

"No, there's no problem with them or any of the kids in the schools," Danvers says, rolling her eyes. "I still think it's insane how many people's kids go to school in this damn city, but I guess we're the only ones around, at least in a thirty mile radius. The lengths some people go to, sending their kids here during the week and home on the weekends is more motivation than I'll ever feel."

"The issue with the Brotherhood is simple," Seagrave says, leaning back against his chair with a slightly self congratulating smile. You figure something out? "Think about their attempts to recruit people. Everyone and their mother knows that's getting in the way of the usual business in the city. I get things are looking worse than usual these days, but they aren't doing themselves any favours."

"They take things," Dr. Holt says, and for once she's actually irritated by something rather than pretending to be. "They take what they want, and if you don't give it to them, then you're going to suffer. I hate their newest 'Proctor,' the woman who replaced the man who got his head blown off last year. She's barely twenty nine but acts like she's so smart when she's a perfectly average engineer who happens to know how to use weapons."

"Elisabeth Ingram?" I say and, I have to admit, she's a bit of a hard ass but she's also one of the coolest people I've ever met. Not like we talk or hang out much, but she's cool. "Think she's just trying to keep things running smoothly. They've put a ton of responsibility on her."

"She's better than Lyons' daughter," Bannon mutters. "And she's been a nuisance around here."

"Sarah Lyons is the least of our problems," Dr. Li tells him with a sharpish edge he definitely needs to hear every so often. "She's not the one disrupting things in the city, and she's, as far as I know, mostly working in the field. I'd normally leave my personal opinions on people out of this, but Sarah Lyons and Reginald Rothchild are two of the maybe five Brotherhood members I genuinely like."

"The Brotherhood are still getting more involved in the city than usual," Seagrave says, twirling a pen in his hands. "Maybe we're learning what it was like to be an American in DC before the War."

"Because that's what we need," Dr. Holt says, rolling her eyes. "The Brotherhood becoming the basis of government in this city."

"Far be it from me to begin defending them, but they are the only thing standing between us and the Enclave," Dr. Li reminds her and, really, everyone. "We have to put with them to some extent, as much as I wish we didn't have to. The problem are their attempts to make everyone and everything their problem."

"I've told Elder Lyons to, for the time being, cease recruitment efforts in the city," Danvers, once again, thank you for doing the things I forget to. "He seemed to be receptive to the fact most people in the city have their own shit to do and don't have the time or will to dedicate themselves to the Brotherhood."

"Good," Bannon says, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms. "Doesn't make the Brotherhood, overall, any less of a problem, though."

"Unfortunately, I have to agree," Seagrave says, all of the amusement in his voice and body going kerplunk with his pen dropping onto the table. "Everyone in the city is going to be pissed off about this, I'm sure, but Lyons had two of his 'Proctors' come by the other day with these."

"Shit," I grimace when he takes a bunch of fucking files out of his bag and smacks them down onto the table. "That a manifesto or something? Their Codex, as they call it?"

"Nope, wish it were," Seagrave rolls his eyes. "I told Keith and Marshall people are going to be angrier than they've ever seen about this, but Rivet City is going to have to start paying taxes."

Dr. Li raises an eyebrow. "Taxes? Are you joking?"

"These documents say they aren't," Bannon, as I'm sure everyone wants to, now, starts swearing under his breath. "Income taxes? What now we all have to report how much money we've got to them?"

"Looks like it," Dr. Holt irritably says, scowling at a few of the documents he hands her. "This is going to go over well. I can't even tell you how many caps I've got to my name, and the Brotherhood wants to take some of what I make every month? This is sick."

"Fancy way of saying they're strapped for cash, too," Seagrave says, standing up and adjusting the cuffs of his suit jacket. "So, you know how we all have other jobs that make money? Yeah, I'm wishing this one made some too right about now."

"Pretty sure we all are," I say and, shit, Seagrave has hit the nail on the head with this. "People aren't going to be having this. We should probably prepare for at least some amount of unrest."

Danvers snorts. "Already on that, boss. The rest of security has started a betting pool for how long this is going to last before someone loses a head like it's the French Revolution, and you can thank my family being pretty much entirely French for my being able to make the comparison."

Damn, Lana, you're on top of it today. Fuck yeah.

"How much has everyone put in?" I say, laughing, and definitely happy to see, out of the corners of my eyes, Dr. Li looks at least somewhat amused. She doesn't get enough of a chance to – if not laugh – find something funny. "Because I'm going to have to consider my next moves very carefully."

"Travers has bet two hundred caps the Brotherhood are going to get at most three months of this before someone gets hurt, Karen put down sixty caps this won't go on more than a month before someone in the Brotherhood gets fucked up for this, Jake put down ten caps it'd be over after six months and kept saying 'please don't hurt me,'" Lana counts off on her hands. "Dustin put down five hundred caps saying 'someone's going to try to push Lyons or, if they can't get him, Sarah into the Potomac before the year ends,' Becky bet ninety caps this will be over by Christmas, and I've bet six hundred caps I'll have to prevent a murder over this. Your move, boss."

I grin. "Definitely going to have to think on this one."

"You're our security force!" Dr. Holt snaps, scowling at me and Lana. Damn, girl, don't you know how to have a little fun with shit? "You could at least take this seriously!"

"If you'd like to join us, Dr. Holt, you're welcome to," Danvers says with a shrug. "Could be fun."

"These go into effect at the end of the year, which is only three months away, just about!" She turns to glare at Seagrave. "Why didn't you mention this last week?"

"Wasn't really an issue last week. Most of last week's meeting ended up being a debate between you and Danvers over whether or not a permanent security presence in the labs was necessary," Seagrave, appreciate the self assurance, but the doc's got a point. "Wouldn't have changed a thing, anyways. The notices have gone out to all residents of the city, and I'm sure someone's going to get their teeth knocked out the day taxes are due. At least taxes are only due at the end of each year, from what I can tell. Sure the Brotherhood will make it clear if they're going to be collecting more than then."

"Look, so long as we find a way to make sure this doesn't end in someone getting hurt, it'll be alright. It's not great news, but most likely something we'll all learn to live with," Danvers, always the voice of reason, aren't you? "Is it stupid? Yes, it absolutely is, but it won't be the end of the world as long as we can make sure no one goes too insane after a few drinks. Kapeesh?"

"If Lyons wants to try this, then he can go right ahead," Dr. Li says, a hint of sarcasm to her voice I really appreciate. "Not as if he can blame us if this goes badly."

"Great, so what else do we have to worry about?" Bannon, I wish we didn't have anything else to discuss, but fuck all knows we do. "Obviously the Brotherhood are a headache and a half to deal with, but they're far from the only problem in this city."

"Security wise, the main issue we're having is with the mirelurks," Danvers replies. Fucking mirelurks. Pretty sure half the problems here are because of them and other pests. Only good thing about mirelurks is they've scared away any and all potential rats into the great beyond, I bet. "We're going to be putting out bounties for civilians aspiring to be part time pest exterminators. Twenty five caps for every hour spent with me, Jake, or Dustin clearing out the sons of bitches."

"And the usual suspects are serving another few weeks in jail for petty theft and general rowdiness," I add. Probably wouldn't be a bad idea to try and get the guys constantly going in and of jail off chems. "Then, of course, there are the…loiterers."

Dr. Holt scoffs. "Zimmer and his creepy bodyguard? Pretty sure 'loiterers' is a loose description of them."

"Unless they break the law, we can't kick them off the boat," Danvers impatiently reminds her. "We're keeping them out of the labs as much as possible, but them being obnoxious cunts isn't enough for us to toss 'em out. If they escalate things to physical, then we'll put them in the slammer for a little, but we don't have good enough reason yet to throw them off and into the water, especially because they come and go from the city and do spend a lot of money here."

"Well, them being a nuisance aside, there aren't any problems in the labs, or with our equipment," Dr. Li says, to the point as ever. "If I remember correctly, we passed our safety inspections for the month just a few days ago."

"You did," Danvers replies. "And it's good to know something's not going completely haywire around here half the time."

"Got to agree," I say, standing up. "That all? I should probably check to make sure Pinkerton isn't causing a ruckus."

Dr. Holt frowns at me, her usual face. "You really should take your job – and all of this – more seriously."

"I do," I inform her with the same bitchy tone. You get what you put out. "But for some of us? We know how to do our jobs well and do them without losing a sense of humour. Try it out, and, I promise," I half flirtatiously wink. "You won't want to look back after you get into the swing of it."