I fifteen I
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Cassian Andor had little left to surprise him in this life. At least, at one point, he was absolutely sure of it. Then Luthen Rael came into his life. He was sent to an Imperial prison where he incited a prison riot. Meanwhile, the woman who raised him died. Maarva died. And he joined the rebellion. A rebellion he was learning more and more about, and suspected he did not yet know anything about. That was Luthen's method.
Yet now he was sitting in the co-pilot's seat with the face of a surprised child.
When the imperial ship which, he had learned, was to take him to Coruscant, was attacked, he continued to sit in his cell with complete peace of mind.
He wondered how much chance he would have of leaving a trail after he landed, that might inform the rebellion that his mission had been a complete failure. It was the best he could do at the moment.
Then the corridor of the prison block burst open and the stormtroopers flew past his door at head height. Lasers zigzagged, and suddenly, everything went deadly silent. Only the muffled sound of sirens cut through the air.
'Are you planning to move?' was all Kleya shouted from the doorway, before she shot the shield and threw a beam gun at him. She didn't have to say twice.
It seemed like only moments have passed, before they were aboard the shuttle and out of hyperspace. It was only when he finally put the weapon down beside him, that he noticed his hands were bloody and his whole arm was in spasm. He must have fired hundreds of shots. Kleya gasped.
Cassian leaned back in his chair. Finally he could think. He couldn't understand how Kleya could have freed him without a larger group of rebels.
'Feran' she said, without looking at him. 'Our spy. He signaled us when you came aboard and was kind enough to download the necessary clearance codes from the central terminal. They didn't even notice when I arrived. Our departure... that's another matter" she shrugged, then gasped again.
Cassian's eyes glimpsed at her dress. It was ripped at her shoulder as a laser burnt it. Underneath, her skin was scorched.
'Clean and bandage it' he said. Kleya looked at him angrily. 'Clean it' he repeated on a serious tone. She stared at him for a long moment, but stood up in surrender and walked backwards.
A moment later, Cassian found himself face to face with Luthen Rael. He was inscrutable. His hood was pushed back slightly on his head as he sat down in the pilot's seat and began to input the destination coordinates.
Cassian did not tell, how he failed to save Mon Mothma. He didn't have to. Luthen figured it out a long time ago.
'What do you know about her?' Luthen chose to ask what he hadn't known yet. Cassian hesitated for a moment.
'The first and last time I saw the senator, she was being led away in the prison block on level C. Her cell must be in the second block. That was a few rotations ago. When I saw her' he looked up at Luthen 'I think she was already dead'
'She sent a signal' the man turned back. 'Yesterday'
Cassian's chest heaved as a sigh of relief escaped his lips. He stepped to his side and glanced at the display.
'But that's... A73322...' he read the numbers, then his eyes narrowed. 'These are new coordinates. We were supposed to approach the base from the South'
'We were. But Eriq Serosa is not a fool. And it looks like, he's not afraid to get his hands dirty. Think about it. Mon has been in his prison for over a week. I'd say there's a good chance he either killed her or figured out how to get out of her what he wants. And unless my deduction is wrong... she's still alive.
'None of us would betray the rebellion' Cassian snapped.
'No' Luthen stroked along his chin, 'I suppose not. But the empire has ways of doing it against her will. She may not even realize it. Perhaps she doesn't even remember. That's why it's so dangerous.
A flood of memories ran through Cassian's mind. Ferrix was not so long ago. Then Luthen continued.
'Maybe it's better if she confessed. At least we know where this Admiral Serosa is waiting for us'
'And the sign? Can we go back for her?
Luthen shook his head.
'She could not send a sign without Serosa noticing it. Which implies that he did, but he let her doing it. Which means that's exactly what he wanted. We can't go back. Maybe... if all goes according to plan - and pray it does – after Corellia we'll have a better chance.
He stood up and activated the hyperdrive. Cassian watched as the stars stretched into sharp streaks and they disappeared into the darkness of space.
Little did he know at that moment that Luthen had very specific plans, not only for Corellia, but also for Senator Mothma.
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Fleet Admiral Eriq Serosa sat exhausted in his office after a very long day. After a day, he had finally fought the rebels in Corellia. After a day when, for the first time in his life, he had failed.
He hasn't said this out loud yet, and very quietly even to himself. For the moment he savoured the expression, as it had never happened to him before. He tasted it, and he didn't like it very much. He was caught in a wave of anger again and again, when remembered that the wretched rebels had done nothing according to plan, and when he remembered what he would have to endure from Tarkin after all of this. That stupid, smug grin of his. Until the end of time.
He wanted to go down to the prison block immediately to tear her apart with his bare hands. How could she lie to him? It's impossible! She couldn't lie! Not by words nor... actions. He shook his head as started down the corridor.
He took such big steps, he was already only a few steps away from block C. If anybody got in his way, he'd shoot them before thinking twice. No one approached him fortunately. The display almost cracked when he pressed the inactivation button on the shield blocking the cell entrance.
It was the usual half-light, with only the night light of the corridor filtering in. The Senator was lying on her bed. Her hands by her sides, her face as peaceful as ever. Exactly as he'd left her last night.
He rushed to her side. He was literally fuming with rage. He just wanted to pull her up from there with a rough jerk. And actually why not?
'Faking sleep won't save you!' he thundered. Eriq grabbed her roughly by the shoulders and shook her.
Mon's head lolled to the side.
Serosa leaned back slightly. There was something unnatural about the movement. He shivered.
'Wake up!' he shouted in her face. But she did not respond. Her mouth seemed to have no colour. Eriq's eyes widened.
After a moment's hesitation, he reaches for her neck, as he did last time. Her skin felt cold. As if burned, he jumped away from her.
'But... it can't be' he said unconsciously to the dark walls of the cell, but he knew very well by now, that it could be. He knew what the use of serum entailed. He knew that there could be serious consequences. Strange dreams, visions, madness. And he knew she could die aswell. And yet he gave it to her.
He gave it to her.
'When I left you, you were fine! You were absolutely fine' he said voice shaking.
He shook her once more in panic, but it did nothing. He couldn't breathe.
She was dead.
He woke up in his room as if he had been chased. His lungs wanted to burst out of his chest. Fleet Admiral Eriq Serosa was shaking all over. He tried to take deep breaths, but it didn't help.
He could not get out of this nightmare. His heart was still beating hurtfully.
He immediately reached for his uniform clumsily and began to put it on. If he didn't go down and see if this annoying, cynical, insufferable, arrogant woman was alive... this one who had just ruined his career... then... he would go mad by the next morning for sure.
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Mon has regained consciousness. Or so she thought. Her body didn't move, as if she was dreaming. The next moment, she found herself standing next to Bail Organa. They seemed both younger. Mon looked at herself. She was wearing black clothes, just like Bail. The wind caught the thin robe she had draped over her shoulders again and again. The clouds of Naboo had dispersed, yet somehow the sunlight did not shine on them. Bail looked down. Mon followed his gaze, looking through the silent crowd. White horses walked past, with ornate saddles on their backs. Behind them, silent mourners, with face dry but eyes red. Then Padme's coffin passed in front of them. It was open, she could see her dark hair spread out in it, covered with little silver flowers. Like a living angel. An angel.
She was her friend. The only one. Her ally. She was her... sister.
She looked at her face. Hot drops started to run down her cheeks. She lay so peacefully on that cold marble bed. Her gaze slid to her hands, then to her belly beneath them. She unconsciously stroked her own growing belly.
She was pregnant. Her sister was pregnant. Just like Mon herself. She thought their children would be born at almost the same time. Although Padme tried to keep her state a secret for a long time, even from Mon, and she couldn't talk to her about it afterwards. She thought she was just nervous about it. She thought that when her baby was born...
She got sick. Organa wrapped his arms around her almost imperceptibly and held her just tight enough in case there was any problem.
She thought - she looked up at Padme's belly again - that when her baby was born...
She saw a dead child. A tiny heart that does not beat. Padme, who could not breath anymore.
Her sickness grew. She turned away and as she was thinking about where to sit down, her whole body was sweating. The air became stifling hot. As she slowly realised she had nowhere to sit, she only wondered why the lady standing behind her was looking at her face with such worry.
The next thing she saw was the ornate ceiling of the Naboo boardroom. She was laid on a sofa, her black dress hanging down on the marble floor. Bail was sitting at her feet, his head buried in his palms.
Mon's stomach tightened. This memory... She remembered. She remembered that embarrassing scene. Perrin had asked her a thousand times not to put herself under stress when she was pregnant, but she came to the funeral anyway. How could she not? Perrin, of course, was nowhere to be found, when he was needed.
'Bail' a familiar voice broke the silence. Mon was confused. She didn't remember that there was anyone else there. And she was still lying there, eyes closed. As if the voices had come from further away. How could she hear that? Was it a memory or a dream?
'How is she?' he looked down at her. Organa looked at Mon again.
'She will be fine. They were just very close' He stood up and they stepped closer while speaking. 'For many years, since they were teenagers. Maybe there was only one thing Padme hadn't told her. Just one name'
Obi-Wan looked at Mon, but Organa shook his head.
'She cannot hear us' And it was true. When this happened, in the past, Mon had not heard even a word. But she did hear them now.
'Let's keep it that way. It's better for her. The weight of the fact that Padme died a violent death, that she didn't die the way people know she did. That she was killed by the man she loved most... the father of her children' he sighed. 'Anakin...'
What? The blood drained from Mon's face. She couldn't move, but now she couldn't breathe either.
'I would not put that weight on her shoulders. Nor would I put her in danger. With the babies. After all,' he looked at her again, 'she's going to be a mother soon'
Organa nodded.
' I'm going home to Breha. We'll wait for Leia there, as we agreed. Let's hope she'll be safe there and won't be sensed'
'I think that's the best chance we have. But as long as Anaki... as long as Vader lives, the two of them will always be in danger'
The young Mon shifted on the sofa and the two men fell silent. Bail was immediately by her side, and Obi-Wan left the great hall without a sound, like a ghost.
'Bail' Mon groaned. 'Don't tell me Perrin has been right and I've really collapsed'
'I won't say it then' Organa smiled at her, just as Mon remembered.
'Don't tell him either'
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She suddenly woke up in her cell. Her brain was spinning wildly. Only a moment ago she had relived one of the most terrifying moments of her life. Grief was still searing inside her. She sat up.
But Anakin was... Anakin. Yes, she suspected he was the father of Padme's child. She never said, but that was not needed. The way they looked at each other gave them away instantly. But Anakin... was dead. She'd been told Anakin was dead. And Padme...
She got up from the bed. Tears welled up in her eyes.
And Padme, in an accident...
She didn't even notice when she burst into sobs.
...died in an accident! On The Naboo! Anakin! The one she has loved! Could Vader...
She felt she was going mad. Nothing meant anything, yet everything. She started to see everything crystal clear. Started to feel panic and pain, sorrow, a suffocating feeling in her neck. Dark spots blurred her vision. Then something elemental. Something she had known very well for now. The pain of childbirth. Luke? It almost tore her apart. Then suddenly, nothing.
Her legs were shaking.
'You poor thing' she cried.
The words screamed in her head and she stood frozen in stone, crying louder and louder. Every breath burned her lungs. Her face was wet with tears. Mentally she was standing there, the same way the corpse of the girl floated in front of her, the same way she couldn't think of anything else when she looked at her belly...
Someone grabbed her arms. She blinked and noticed Serosa's blue eyes searching hers questioningly. She didn't want to cry in front of him. Yet, she stopped for a moment and burst into sobs again. However his touch felt like medicine. Her muscles started to relax. She exhaled. It felt like a warm shield around her.
Then Serosa relaxed his grip slightly and stepped back. Mon panicked and stepped forward, closing the gap. She squeezed his uniform with both hands and shook her head.
'Don't let go of me now! I beg you!' she said desperately, voice shaking while looked up into his eyes. Serosa's gaze was searching as ever, but soft and warm in a way Mon had never seen before.
'Okay' he said calmly. 'Tell me then how can I help you'
He gently brushed a stray lock of hair behind Mon's ear. She shivered at his touch. Her eyes closed immediately and her lips opened to his. The next moment she was kissing him. Her lips brushed against his, her tongue finding its way between his teeth, her fingers playing with his jet-black hair.
Serosa stood his word easily. He could not push her away anymore. Not after he saw her cold and dead.
Heat washed over him, and over Mon aswell. First in her stomach, then a bit lower. She wasn't even aware, when wrapped her legs around Eriq's waist, only when a sigh left his lips. He walked forward and pressed her against the opposite wall. His kiss was hungry, his breath rasping.
Stop kissing him was not an option, but Mon could not wait any longer. She looked for his belt blindly, as he pushed Mon's dress aside. Her tears were streaming down his cheeks. Serosa groaned as she pulled him out of his trousers and inserted his penis to her entrance.
He pushed himself inside immediately. Mon groaned into the kiss. The man waited a moment, than moved slowly at first, then faster and faster. At a point Mon released his lips and threw her head back. Every time she moaned, she made Serosa more and more turned on.
'Oh Stars' he breathed into her neck, as she clung to his shoulder with ten nails. Serosa kissed her neck. Her skin was silky and hot as the burning hell under his lips. Eriq had never tasted anything so delicious. He couldn't get enough. He bit her skin and sucked it. Mon groaned again.
'I... Stars...' she panted. Eriq's brain worked very slowly. He was so close to his orgasm that he could barely hear her. Mon was however even closer. Eriq put his palm over her mouth at the very last moment before Mon's back tensed, her head snapped back and she cried out. Her walls gripped Serosa so tightly that he followed her after a final push.
They were both shaking as slowly slid down to the ground. Serosa's face rested in Mon's neck, hers on his shoulder. Their foreheads beaded with sweat. For minutes they couldn't move and neither could speak.
Mon slowly looked up at Eriq. His eyes were misty, like her own. Two seas met now, the waves of two different worlds.
Mon finally opened her mouth, but Eriq silenced her by putting a finger on her lips.
His gaze followed. Then his finger brushed along her lower lip and went between her teeth. Mon's eyes closed. She melted into the new wave of lust. She wanted to feel him in herself again. And Serosa felt the very same, because a moment later he was back inside Mon. He did not wait this time, it was not needed. Their movements were fast and animalistic. They bit with passion as their hands went discover each other's bodies. Mon came almost instantly, then when Eriq reached his orgasm, the heat tore her out of her body once again.
They lay on the hard ground like rag dolls. looking at the ceiling. They had no idea what to say. Neither of them.
After another long minute, Eriq stood up and started to adjust his uniform. Mon sat up aswell. Her head was finally light, tears dry, her body still shaking from joy. Their juices slowly ran down her legs. Serosa looked down at her. For his eyes, she was the most beautiful creature in the whole galaxy at that moment.
But at that moment, suddenly Mon came back to her senses and felt tiny. She was a mess, her face aflame, her hair wet from their sweat. She wished he wouldn't look at her like this. In a state like this. This was her very first sober moment since that dream. The very first moment, she remembered, she was married. But first of all, she was confused, shocked and hurt. And untouched. For too long. And now finally perfectly satisfied.
But a mess. Inside-out.
Suddenly she saw Eriq's hand reaching for her. She glanced up. He pulled her up as if she was made of air, then took a reddish-brown lock of hair and brushed it behind Mon's ear again. There was no rage in his gaze this time, nor lust or need anymore. There was something else. Something warmer and softer, more innocent, what she dared not to define yet.
He slowly leaned close and gave her a kiss on the forehead. A gentle kiss, which at that moment was her only connection to the world.
Her lips curled into a smile slowly.
Then Eriq finally let go of her and walked out.