*Pop*

Goku lowered his fingers and took a deep breath in. "Aaaaaah! I love me some fresh sea air!" A nostalgic smile appeared on his face as he eyed the modest cottage on the tiny island he found himself on. "This place feels just like home." Examining the small private beach, Goku noticed a familiar flat brown rock sitting next to the water's edge. He walked over to the boulder and addressed it with friendly enthusiasm. "Hi Turtle! What's up?"

The reptile slowly turned its head to look at his unexpected company. "Hello, Goku. Good to see you. How are you today?"

"Been better. That last battle was really tough and I still feel a little shaky. But at least I'm finally getting used to Ultra Instinct!"

Turtle nodded in understanding.

Goku pointed at Kame House. "Is Master Roshi home?"

"Yes he is, but…" The tortoise sighed. "He's a little busy at the moment."

Goku frowned. "Busy? With what?"

"Watching a movie with a strange purple gnome who showed up earlier today."

The saiyan cocked a curious eyebrow. "A strange purple gnome?"

"Heights are difficult to estimate from my perspective, so he might be a bit taller than a gnome, but he certainly looked like one. I don't remember seeing him before, but he seemed friendly."

The saiyan scratched his cheek. Gnomy and purple, huh? He searched for the Supreme Kai's energy signal. And watching a movie with Master Roshi? Goku smirked. I think I know what's going on here.

Turtle continued. "I always avoid that particular pastime of his, so I went outside to watch the seagulls." He gave Goku a hopeful smile. "Will you join me? I could use some company."

"Sorry, not this time. Have fun, Turtle!" Goku waved at the reptile and made his way towards the front door of Kame House.

Turtle turned his gaze back to the ocean. He shook his head and gave another sigh. "Can't say I didn't warn him…"

.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the front door…

"YEAH BABY, THAT'S IT! You can do it… Just a little higher… YES! WOOHOO!" A lecherous, creaky voice happily cried out.

"Now, switch to the other one! Ooooh, YES! See? I BET THAT ONE TASTES EVEN BETTER!" A second, lewd elderly voice added.

*Click* The doorknob turned. Goku cracked the door open and peeked inside. His eyes immediately snapped to the tv screen. Ooh! Boobies! Goku swallowed. Whoops! Heh heh. Quickly correcting himself, he began to scan the living room. Yeah… Just as I thought. Master Roshi and the Elder Kai were sitting crossed legged on the floor right in front of the tv, shamelessly ogling the screen. Two pairs of pants and undies were carelessly flung over one of the couches and judging by the rhythmic movement of their arms, the old farts were thoroughly 'invested' in their 'movie'. Goku gave an awkward smile, grateful he couldn't see their fronts. His eyes roamed the messy carpet. It was littered with paper wipes and tubes of that weird toothpaste he was sure he'd seen somewhere before. Briefly closing his eyes, he inwardly chuckled. Those two, huh? I can see why they would get along.

*Oh yes! Right there! Faster!* The actress moaned.

Goku's gaze snapped back to the tv. A well-built man had his face firmly pressed into a blonde woman's netherbits, seemingly enjoying a 'meal'. Goku's eyes widened in surprise. Woah! There's food down there!?

"Pfff, amateur!" Old Kai said. "If I were there, I could help him. Give him some pointers."

Roshi laughed. "Heh heh heh, yeah. We would do a much better job than this loser! Mustaches do add that extra tingling sensation after all."

*AAAAAH* The woman jerked. A few seconds later, she was on her shoulders with her feet on the floor overhead. The handsome man awkwardly squatted down on top of her, attempting to wiggle his part into hers from above.

Goku scratched his temple. YIKES! I sure am glad I'm not thát young lady!

"WOOOOO! Now THAT'S entertainment!" Old Kai shouted enthusiastically as he held up his palm.

Roshi high-fived. "Yeaaaah it sure is! Such a shame I'm getting too old for those kinds of stunts myself. My back just won't cooperate anymore, you know? But back in my day, when I was a spry lad…"

Old Kai nodded in agreement and pointed at the screen. "This one's truly fascinating! You said you had more?"

Roshi gave another perverted laugh. "Plenty more!"

The Kai joined in the laughter, looking forward to seeing the rest of Roshi's extensive collection.

*Oh gods…!* The clearly uncomfortable movie-woman whimpered.

Goku snickered as the old-timers instantly went quiet and eagerly leaned in closer to the screen. 40 years later and I still don't get it. Getting impatient, Goku decided this was the perfect time to make his presence known. He pushed the door open, stepped inside and cheerfully announced himself. "Hi there Master Roshi and Old Kai sir!"

Startled, the geezers gasped in surprise.

"GOKU!"

"SAIYAN!"

Roshi seized the remote and paused the 'movie', freezing the screen at a very awkward frame.

The Old Kai reached for the first object within his reach and covered his lap with the unfortunate plate. He put his fist to his mouth, looked over his shoulder and cleared his throat. "Mortal, what can possibly be so important that you have to interrupt a busy Kai!?"

Goku grabbed the back of his head and flashed the discomposed duo an innocent grin. "After that whole ordeal with Gas and Granolah I really need to blow off some steam. I just wanna know if it's okay if I shoot beams at the ocean for a while?"

"What!? You disturbed us for that!?" Old Kai spat.

Goku scratched his head and giggled.

Roshi mischievously leered at his star pupil and gave a suspiciously inappropriate chuckle. "Goku, do you want a long answer or a short answer?"

"Hmm, I'm usually pretty slow so I'll go with a long one."

Roshi dropped the remote, stood up and turned around. "Yup! It's a long one!" He burst into laughter.

Shocked and utterly mortified by the sudden unpleasant sight, Goku gracelessly collapsed to the floor. WOAH BOY, my eyes! Can't… unsee…

Roshi placed his hands on his hips and proudly continued. "Impressive eh? Given that I'm over 300 years young! Do you remember the key to healthy aging, Goku?"

Goku groaned. That was more painful than getting punched in the gut by Black Frieza! Palming his temple, he slowly got up. Stubbornly glaring at the floor as he mumbled. "A balanced diet, sleeping well and regular exercise."

"No! A balanced diet, sleeping well and regular exer-. Oh, hmpf, spoilsport. Guess I taught you well, didn't I?"

"Yeah, ya did..." Goku momentarily stiffened, seemingly realizing something.

The Old Kai balled his fist at the saiyan. "Just butt out and go fire your beams, numbskull!"

Lost in thought, Goku ignored the offended Kai. Taught me well… He cupped his chin and absently stared at the unfortunate image on the frozen tv screen. Maybe even more than I was willing to learn… His gaze moved back to the old perverts. What if… Goku fisted his hair with both hands as something important seemed to dawn on him. Sheesh! Did I overlook this completely!?

The wise elders watched the musing saiyan in silence, waiting for him to respond.

Suddenly, Goku's eyes lit up. Beaming, the warrior smashed his fist into his palm and gratefully exclaimed. "Master Roshi, you're a genius!"

A little confused, Roshi frowned at the unexpected compliment. "Yes, naturally. But eh, what are you referring to exactly, Goku?"

"Nothin'! It's just -" Goku gleefully balled his fists. "THANKS!" He eagerly put his fingers to his forehead, saluted the two expired gentlemen and nodded at the tv. "Have fun ya two!"

Before they could reply, Goku *pop* vanished.

Old Kai squinted at the empty doorway. "Pfeh, meddlesome mortal."

Roshi stroked his beard. I wonder what Goku meant by that? He shrugged. Whatever it was, it'll have to wait. Shifting his focus back to the task at hand, he grabbed the remote. "Now, where were we?"

The Kai smiled and rubbed his palms together in excitement. "Ooooooooooh, I think I remember!"

Roshi pressed 'play' and before one could say 'instant transmission', lecherous laughter filled Kame House once again.

"Heh heh heh!"

"WOOHOO!"

.

Meanwhile at Mount Paozu…

*Pop*

Goku appeared in his own living room. He lowered his fingers and plopped down on the couch. Resting his elbows on his knees, he gazed pensively at the floor, contemplating his epiphany some more. Darn it. How could I have been so blind? Should I have done this sooner? He opened his hands and looked at his palms. Hmm, I dunno, I just never felt like… A soft smile formed on his lips. No point in being sad about it, time to make this right! He smacked his thighs, hopped back to his feet and took a deep breath in. Alright, let's do this! Goku cleared his throat and called...

"Chi-Chi!?"

.

A/N This was the last "regular" chapter of Instant Trans-oopsie. The next update will be the final one and will consist of two chapters: A full lenght finale which will wrap up Goku's adventures and the afterword containing notes and references.

I had most of Goku's encounters planned and drafted before I published the first chapter, but I still have to do most of the work for chapter 16. On top of that I won't be writing/editing during my upcoming summer break, so the wait will be a lot longer than usual. I will keep you up-to-date on my progress on my twitter.

Thank you so much for sticking with me until this point! I hope to see you all one more time for the grand finale. :D