Strange to be saying this after all this time but HELLO everybody! I know that it has been so long since I posted an update but that has not been due to a lack of love for this story or lack of drive to write. I'm not going to go into detail other than saying I have been dealing with a lot between starting a new job and dealing with a cancer diagnosis in a direct family member. My brain has been swamped and my hands have been full. That being said I am going to try and start carving out time again for this story. I hope everyone who has followed and supported this story is still around to let me know what you think of this update!
OK start your engines readers!
-lovelylavenderlady
Elizabeth and Henry had reunited with Madeline three weeks ago, yet they did not feel any closer to finding the daughter they had lost in the child they had finally found. Though the parents had made a difference, it still felt like they had only begun to overcome the situation. If Madeline was a mountain, their climb had only just started, and the journey up was going to be long, and it was going to test them. Three years was a long time, and they feared the Madeline they knew would be lost to them, forever stuck and drifting inside the shell that had finally escaped. Madeline might have escaped, but physically and mentally escaping were two very different things, and it was clear she was still trapped on the inside whether or not she was free on the outside.
There was so little that Henry and Elizabeth knew about what their daughter had been through, but Madeline would never forget the horrors she had faced and still found herself being subjected to them as they haunted her and consumed her like the night swallows the day. She could not speak about it, express how she felt, or bring herself to leave the mindset that, at any moment, it would all return to the way it had been. There was no way for her body to stop the autopilot that she had been forced to maintain for the last three years. This autopilot had kept her alive. No expressions, no fighting, no speaking. She only listened when needed and lived like a pest afraid of extermination. Hide in the cracks and dark corners. Don't get under the giant stomping feet or close to hands that hold the potential for exacting angry blows; when a light turns on, scurry for cover. Don't make yourself obvious, for there is every possibility you will get crushed. While no one around her saw her as a pest, this did not stop the fact that she still felt like one, and self-preservation drove her to act like one.
There was no way for her to leave behind the memories that plagued every moment and flashed in her mind on repeat. Every door opening left her feeling exposed, and the sound made her feel like her captor could appear behind it. What if she found her? What if she was angry and came looking for her? Came to drag her back to that awful place. Every new face called her to question if they were just like Evelyn. Cruel and cold. When people crowded in the room, it made her feel like a deer in the headlights. Frozen in place, and terrified of what came next. People would ask questions and look at her like she held answers, but all she felt she held was fear.
A fear that left her lungs unable to take a breath. It made her feel like she was suffocating. Yet, with these big feelings on the inside, she felt incapable of telling anyone. Her parents' eyes would look at her with all the love in the world, and it would only remind her of how angry Evelyn's eyes had always been. Taking the chance to let them in seemed too big of a risk. Even with how risky it seemed, she couldn't stop the pull that tugged on her heart whenever she stole a glance. She would look at them, and a distant feeling would call to her, but hearing it over the nearby screaming memories of what her days and nights had been like for so long made that call feel like a whisper. Still, it did whisper. It would whisper of time when she had felt safe when she had felt loved. Loved by them and kept secure by them. A time when she had been small, and her world was turned by them. Now, she didn't feel so small anymore. She felt big. Big and obvious, like the whole world could see her and all that lived inside.
Madeline's feelings were not true, though. It was so far from true. In Henry and Elizabeth's eyes, Madeline had never seemed so small. To them, it felt like she was just as vulnerable and fragile as she had been when she was a baby. Except when Maddy was a baby, she cried. She would wail when she was hungry and whimper when she wanted them. Now, she did none of those things. She didn't seem to do anything at all. They felt like there was no way to read what was going on in her brain and felt they had no way of truly helping her.
While they had made some progress, it was different from the ways they had hoped. Or should they say, in the ways they wanted. They were so happy to see Madeline conquering feats regarding food. She had steadily taken a step each day despite being afraid. While protein shakes were still her primary source of sustenance, she had finally been able to keep soft food down, and their hearts had never been more relieved. When it came to communicating with her, though, no barrier had been breached. She was a closed and locked book that had no key.
They would catch the moments when she looked at them, and they would see a flash of something. A moment of remembering, but it would fade as quickly as it had appeared. Most of the time, they saw a void as if time was passing, but not for her; she was trapped and had accepted this fate. Madeline was still in a cell even though she had been freed. They would speak to her, but she would make no move to respond. Where they once saw the light behind her eyes, now they only saw a longing. A longing to forget and a longing to remember. Forget all she had endured and remember all she had lost. What she had lost, though, had been returned, but she could not seem to see it. Or maybe she was lost and still did not feel found.
They saw how she stared into space. They wondered what she was seeing. Did she see horrors they could not conceive? Was she seeing walls that, for so long, she could not escape? Was she seeing the face of the person who had taken everything from them and had given so little back? Whatever it was, they craved to know. They craved to help. They wanted more than anything to know their daughter again, and it was clear they didn't. They no longer knew the child that sat before them. They no longer saw the daughter they had brought into this world, and this reality shattered their hearts.
A child they could touch but not comfort.
In the passing of the three weeks, they had called home, longing to hear the voices of their other children. They had checked in and done everything they could to assure their other kids that all was well and they would be home soon. For one of them, this had been true. Henry had gone home multiple times to lay eyes on them. In trying to help one child, the last thing they wanted was for the others to feel abandoned. So he had returned home a few times to spend a night with them. To get a hot shower and a good night of sleep, which seemed impossible to obtain at the hospital, but most of all, to see their kids. He would take pictures and send them to Elizabeth when he was there, hoping it would bring her comfort. He prayed it would, but he always feared it would make her feel guilty. They were well taken care of by Henry's parents and Will, but their parents had been absent, and this rested heavily on both Henry's and Elizabeth's minds. There was not a lot they could tell them.
Allison and Jason were still too young to understand the gravity of the situation, and while Stevie could grasp it, this was not something you tell somebody over the phone. After discussing it, they decided Henry would at least broach the subject. It had been hard but more challenging for him than the kids. It blew right over Alison and Jason's head. Hell, he doubted Jason even remembered Madeline and the gears didn't seem to engage for Alison. Sure, she knew who Madeline was, but Madeline had always been talked about and never seen, only in pictures that remained. To say she had been found did not ring any bells, but for Stevie, it had been clear she remembered. Stevie was still a child, too, and she would need time to process the information, so he had assured her that they would be there when she was ready to talk.
He could not leave Elizabeth alone for long, so he returned quickly each time he left. Yes, they were missed and needed at home, but right now, Madeline needed them more.
This thought played through his mind on replay, but another also did. Elizabeth was burning out. She was exhausted, and that did not even cover it. He could help in some ways, but Elizabeth was the one Madeline wanted. He knew without a doubt she needed him, too, but in a child's mind, a want could be seen more clearly than a need. He needed to establish his place as her father just as firmly as Elizabeth required to do so as her mother, but Madeline still seemed to have more trouble letting him close than she did with Elizabeth. Elizabeth was the rope that kept Madeline from completely drifting away from them, but he also saw that Elizabeth could only keep going for so long, whether or not she could see this herself.
He knew she would never decide to do it independently, so he chose for her. He loved her more than life itself, and loving someone always meant doing the hard things along with the easy. It was easy to see what she needed, but it would be hard when she felt he had forced her hand. Elizabeth did not like feeling pushed. For Elizabeth, choosing to leave Madeline would be like putting the nails in her coffin. It would feel like turning her back on Madeline, but this was untrue. She had encouraged him to leave. To check on the kids and get some rest. She loved him and could see where his needs needed to be met, but would she let him do the same for her?
"Henry, I can't do that," Elizabeth shook her head harshly as she looked at him in resolution. I won't do that."
"I have already called Will, babe," he answered as he looked at her unwaveringly at his choice.
"You did what?" she asked, her voice lowered as she pulled away from in.
"I called him a couple of hours ago," he stated again as he tried to keep steady in the face of the look she was giving him. It was one of disbelief. "He has been on his way a while now. He should be here soon."
"How could you do that without talking to me first?!" She tried to keep her voice quiet so they would not disturb Madeline, who was watching a movie and was close to falling asleep.
"Elizabeth, be reasonable," he said in a loving and gentle voice. You have been going nonstop for weeks. It's time you had a break. You won't be of any help to Madeline if you keel over from exhaustion. You don't have to feel guilty for going home and taking a breath. Leaving her does not mean you don't love her, and besides, I know the kids would love to see you."
"You know what, you don't get to do that," she shook her head as she pointed her finger at him. "You don't get to tell me to be reasonable and psychoanalyze me. I am her mother, Henry-" she stopped as she pointed to Madeline. "-And she needs me. Who cares if I am tired or need a breath? I'm sure she needs those things as well, but she doesn't get to have them. She has lived through hell, and god forbid that I put my needs above her's right now...so you call Will, and you tell him to turn around."
"Elizabeth..." he said softly and without anger or judgment, for he knew how she was feeling. "You think I wanted to leave either? Do you think I wanted to walk out of here and leave her after how long we've been apart? It was the last thing I wanted to do, but there is a big difference between doing what we want and doing what's right, and right now, doing what's right means going home."
"You say that like it's easy," she looked at him hopelessly. Her features softened slightly, and the hurt broke through the anger.
"It's not," he shook his head. Do you think I didn't feel guilty for leaving? If your statement is true, you must've thought I was selfish when I chose to go home."
"Henry, god no," Elizabeth now shook her head as she stepped closer towards him. "I wanted you to go-I, I wanted you to-," but she stopped and looked at him as what he said truthfully sank in.
"You wanted me to take care of myself," he stated as he reached out and grabbed her hand. "You wanted me to go home so I could see the kids and ground myself, and you helped me see that there was nothing wrong with that. Please...let me help you do the same."
"You know," she sniffled as she hung her head in defeat and closed all the space she had put between them. "I hate it when you are right..."
He laughed at this and pulled her into her chest. "I don't like it any more than you do," he cupped her head. "Most of the time, it means I am making you do something you don't want to do, and I don't like that feeling, but I love you more than anything, and I want—I need you to be okay. Madeline needs you to be okay, and our kids need to see you."
"Henry?" she spoke his name, and her voice was so small and fearful.
"I'm here, babe," he assured her.
"I am so afraid to leave her..." she stated, her voice shaking with each word. I'm scared that if I leave, she won't be here when I come back."
"And you have every right to feel that way," he validated her fears. "I felt the same way, but our fears are not always true. She will still be here when you get back. She's not going anywhere."
"Then why does it feel so hard?" she clutched his shirt tightly.
"It feels so hard because you love her and could not show her that for a long time. We both were," Henry whispered the last part as he smoothed her hair gently. "But now she is here, and we have the whole future to make up for the years lost, and we won't waste a second of it. It's going to be okay, babe, I promise."
"You promise?" she asked as she pulled back and gave him those piercing blue eyes that always left him speechless.
"I promise," he reached and cupped her face. "Besides, you will only be gone one night. I asked Will to bring you back in the morning."
"I can't believe you called Will," she playfully hit his arm. "How will I survive three hours in a car with him?"
"That's my girl," he chuckled as he saw the look on her face. There was nothing like sibling love. You love it, and you hate it at the same time. "You'll think of something. You can drown him out with some Frampton if it gets terrible."
"Ahh, Peter," She closed her eyes momentarily, and a smile came to her face at the mention of her favorite artist. "That's a good suggestion. Will despises him."
"See, you can do this," Henry gave her a loving smile as they looked into her eyes.
"I hope you are right..." she said, the seriousness drifting back into her features.
"I am," he nodded encouragingly. "You will be back before you know it." With this, he pulled her into a kiss, and they both leaned into each other, as it was impossible not to feel how strong their connection was—as it always had been. Slowly, they pulled apart, and their eyes met.
"I think I'd like to tell her I'm leaving and sit with her awhile until I have to go," she honestly said as they locked and secured their hands.
"You got it," he nodded in affirmation as they turned and headed back towards the bed.
Elizabeth stood at the side of the bed and carefully reached out to pick up a piece of Madeline's hair, twirling it around her finger. While she knew Madeline took comfort in her being close, she still did not assume the place beside her without making sure the girl was aware of her presence. "Can I lay with you, baby?" she asked softly, seeing Madeline's were heavy, and she did not want to disturb her drifting consciousness. Madeline did not look away from the TV, but her head gave a slight nod of approval, and Elizabeth smiled as she slipped into the bed with her. Once she was there, Madeline's hand slowly moved towards her and grabbed a hold of the shirt fabric that rested over Elizabeth's stomach. "I love you, baby." She whispered this softly as she lifted her arm over Madeline to pull her closer. Madeline did not always have it to initiate bringing herself close to her mother, but if Elizabeth did, the girl would rarely refuse the contact. It was a tether for them both. Eye contact was hard. Words were not ready to be spoken yet, and so this was how they communicated, simply by being close and bringing an air of reassurance that they were together. Once Elizabeth had begun to pull her closer, Madeline willingly accepted the pull and scooted closer, resting her head between the crevice of her arm and chest.
Elizabeth turned her head at this and looked at her husband with tearful eyes and a smile. There was so much wrong, yet with Madeline close, the wrongs seemed to fade, and she was absorbed into the feeling of how right things felt. Henry smiled back at her and took his place at the end of the bed but was careful not to obstruct Madeline's view of the TV. He softly rested his hand on Elizabeth's leg and looked lovingly at his two girls. "Two peas in a pod," he voiced quietly. "The other three are such a mix between us, but she is all you, this one."
Elizabeth chuckled at this and laid her hand on Madeline's head. "Sometimes I wonder if this is how my mother felt about me...my dad always said the same thing about us," Elizabeth sighed in remembrance, " that we were two peas in a pod."
"The pictures alone speak to that," Henry smiled sadly, knowing the loss his wife felt and the hole that always existed in her parents' place. "You both looked alike, but it always seemed you were close when you spoke about her."
"We were..." Elizabeth smiled sadly, too, as the image of her mother was clear as daylight in her mind. "We were. Inseparable at that. I wonder what she would think if she could me now. With kids of my own and a husband who she would've adored."
"I think..." Henry began as he scooted closer and grasped onto her free hand. "She would've been proud, and she would be happy that you have a family of your own. She would've thought you grew to be the most amazing woman and even more wonderful mom."
Elizabeth's eyes welled with tears at his words, and she looked down. Her chin began to quiver. "You know, I wished more times than I could count that the past would change false, and I could just pick up the phone and call her," Elizabeth's voice shook, and she looked at Madeline. "When Madeline was taken from us, I kept thinking back to how I felt after mom d-was gone, and I wept thinking of the possibility that our daughter could be out there feeling the same."
"She's home now, Elizabeth, and she hasn't lost either of us," Henry said confidently but in understanding. "She is going to be okay. It might not seem like it now, but she only needs time."
"I just wish she was here, you know?" Elizabeth said and drew into herself. She pulled her hand away and tugged at her shirt anxiously.
"I know, babe," Henry acknowledged as he looked at her compassionately.
"I just wish I could hug her, and she could tell me what I should do," Elizabeth looked up as a tear rolled down her cheek, and she looked just as small as Madeline did. "Cause I don't feel like I know what to do, Henry. I don't. I feel lost, and maybe it's just the kid in me who misses her mom, but I feel like if she was here, she would know what to say, and everything would feel alright again."
If Elizabeth wasn't holding Madeline, Henry felt she would've crawled into his arms and clung to him like a child, but she was holding their child, so he stood and went to her. "Come here, baby," he gently whispered as he did his best to surround and wrap his arms around her even though it was awkward. "It's only natural you wish you could talk to her now. To wish that she was here. She was a great mom, and you lost her way sooner than any person should've, but I have no doubt she is watching out for you. Watching out for all of us, and I have a feeling that if she were here right now, she would tell you to trust your instincts. You are a great mom, too, Elizabeth, and even if it doesn't feel like it now, you know what to do. You always have, especially when it comes to our kids."
"Sometimes I feel like you have way more faith in me than I have in myself," she sniffled as they pulled apart and lifted her hand to wipe her tear-stained face.
"That's because I see you—all of you. You are the strongest woman I have ever known and also the most determined. You are compassionate and the most selfless person I know. I have full faith in you, and I always will," he looked at her with love that pierced right through her heart.
"Thank you, Henry," she reached out, grabbed his hand, and squeezed it. "I don't know how I would do anything without you. You are my rock and the greatest love I will ever know."
"I love you, baby," he replied, tears of his own coming to his eyes. At this moment, Henry's phone dinged, and the moment came to a halt as he pulled his phone out. "Will is twenty minutes out..."
"Okay," she nodded before turning to Madeline, who was still somehow impossibly awake. "Hey, sweet girl... Mommy is going to head home for a short while to check on your sisters and brother." Madeline's eyelids drooped, and she didn't seem to tense or even recognize the words Elizabeth was saying, but Elizabeth knew she still had to tell the truth. She had to be truthful. "I don't want to leave you, but I have to, just for a little bit. Daddy is staying, though, and I promise he will take just as good care of you as I do. He will be here the whole time, and I promise I won't be gone long. I will be back first thing in the morning." She said all of this as she stroked Madeline's hair tenderly and held her close, savoring the last few moments. "I will stay with you until you fall asleep, and hopefully, I will be back before you even open your eyes' in the morning."
At this, Madeline nodded her head against Elizabeth's chest and began to yawn as she reached up and rubbed her eyes. More than comprehending anything her mother had said, she was simply lulled by the sound of her voice and could no longer resist the feeling of sleep that was grabbing hold of her.
"She is barely holding on," Henry whispered as he saw how heavy Madeline's eyes were.
Elizabeth nodded at his words and closed her eyes, taking a deep breath to settle her heart. She was dreading what she had to do, but she knew she had to stay in the moment so Madeline didn't sense something was off. "You just close your eyes, baby girl...I'm right here," she softly said as she leaned against Madeline's and continued running her fingers through her hair. "Mommy loves you."
With these last words, Madeline's eyes finally closed, and there were now only two conscious minds in the room instead of three. Henry sat in the chair next to the bed, and Elizabeth continued her movements to comfort Madeline. There were things you found when raising three children. Closing their eyes did not always mean they were asleep. Henry and Elizabeth called it the twitches. They were on their way to sleep, but their bodies would twitch and jerk randomly, and it wasn't until these finally stopped that they knew their child was truly asleep. So, Elizabeth did not stop playing with Madeline's hair for the next fifteen minutes and gently tickled her arm. Finally, the last twitch occurred, and both parents looked down, observing her features to make sure.
"Yep, she's out," Henry smiled as he looked at his daughter's sweet face.
"Yeah," Elizabeth said, but sadness laced her voice, and her grip instinctively tightened around her daughter. "She looks peaceful..."
"Yeah, she does," Henry agreed, running his hand along Elizabeth's arm. He sensed her sadness and knew why. "She is going to be alright, babe. She will still be here when you get back. Everything is going to be fine."
"I know...I just don't want to leave her," Elizabeth exhaled deeply, unable to pull her eyes away from her daughter's sleeping form.
"I know you don't," Henry voiced softly. For the second time, the moment was interrupted, and Henry's phone chimed. It was Will again. "He's out front, babe..." At this, Elizabeth closed her eyes, and tears once again began to roll down her face. Her lips trembled as she tried to stop the sob that wanted to escape. "It's gonna be okay. She's going to be okay."
Elizabeth nodded at this, but her eyes did not open. With trembling hands, she pulled herself closer to Madeline and leaned down, kissing her head softly. "I love you so much...so much," she sniffled as she finally opened her eyes and began the painful process of extricating herself from Madeline's arms. Once she stood, she smoothed out her pants and wrapped her cardigan around herself. "Will you grab my bag from the corner?" she asked him, sniffling as she tried to pull herself together.
"You got it," Henry nodded as they quickly retrieved it. "Do you need anything else?"
As he came back and stood before her, she looked at him, her eyes full of fear and hesitation. "You..." she weakly said as she fell into him.
He immediately dropped the bag and wrapped his arms around her. "I will be waiting for you as soon as you get back," he softly stated as he held her closer and kissed the top of her head. "Promise to call me when you get home?"
She nodded her head against his chest before pulling back. "I love you," she whispered as she looked into his eyes.
"I love you too," he replied, leaning forward and kissing her gently. "Now you better get going before he comes trying to find you and gets himself lost."
"You're right," she smiled softly as an image came to her mind. "He'd probably find a way to get himself kicked out in minutes."
"You probably aren't wrong," Henry was now the one who smiled. "Give the kids my love and try to get some sleep, okay?"
"I will, and promise to call me if anything happens." Elizabeth looked at him and picked up her bag. "Anything at all."
"I will, but everything will be fine," he said encouragingly. "Now go and be safe."
With that, Elizabeth kissed his cheek and began walking to the door. She reached out, placing her hand on the handle, but froze as she went to open it. Turning around, she looked at her daughter one last time and took a deep breath as a final tear fell from her orbs.
She could do this.
Everything was going to be okay.
Madeline was safe, and she was sound.
Finally, she turned back towards Henry, and he gave her one last look of encouragement. "You can do this," he said confidently, knowing she did not have it herself.
She nodded at him, and though it was the last thing she wanted to do, she opened the door handle and left the room. She did not look back, for she knew that she would not be able to leave if she did. So she just kept going and followed the signs.
"Hey, Lizzie!" Will called as he rolled down his window and waved as he saw his sister exit the hospital doors. Elizabeth looked up, but without a word, she looked back down and walked towards him. "You hate me that much, huh?"
"Will, you know I don't hate you," she sighed as she got into the car and shut the door.
"So, cat just got your tongue then?" he asked as he looked at her and tried to get a read.
"Could we just not? I'm really not in the mood for jokes right now," she breathed heavily. Putting her elbow against the door, she leaned her head against her hand and closed her eyes. "Could we just go? I'm beyond tired."
"Yeah, we can go," he sighed as he put the car in drive and laid his foot on the gas. "But you aren't just gonna push me off like that."
" I'm not trying to push you off; I just—I just," she stopped, unable to find the words to continue.
"You're running," he flatly stated as he turned onto the main thoroughfare.
"From what?" she scoffed as she turned to look at him.
"You are bottling this, and you are running from your feelings," he answered, briefly turning to look at her.
"Will, I appreciate you picking me up, but I don't appreciate the analysis," she shook her head as she turned to look out the window.
"There you go again," he chuckled lightly. "It's not going to help anything. I'm your brother; you can talk to me."
"Would you just back off for a minute?" she raised her hands in frustration. "I haven't left that room and three damn weeks, and I'm at the edge with what I can take right now, so, please. Just give me a minute."
He sensed he wasn't going to get anywhere and knew that she was too overwhelmed to push her to talk. She had to choose it for herself, so he changed the subject. "Have you eaten anything?" he asked and returned to less threatening for Elizabeth.
"Yeah, I'm good," she dryly stated as she ran her hand through her hair.
"That was a trick question," he said as a matter of fact. "Henry told me you haven't eaten yet."
"Then why did you ask?" she questioned in an irritated tone.
"Henry also told me to make sure you eat," Will smiled at her, trying not to take her mood personally, knowing it wasn't really about him. "So pick your poison. Where do you wanna go?"
"I want to go home, Will," she sighed, feeling everything in her building threaten to pour back out.
"Liz..." he said softly, letting the silence linger a moment. You have to eat something. I know you might not feel like it, but wasting away to nothing isn't going to help anyone. You've lost like ten pounds since the last time I saw you."
"I didn't know being a human scale was a part of your specialties," Elizabeth sarcastically replied, trying to avoid acknowledging the real point of his statement.
"Oh, there's a lot you don't know about me," he smirked, not going to give up, as he reached toward the radio. I see I am going to have to pull out the big guns."
She turned and watched him curiously. To her surprise, Peter Frampton began to play, and the car was soon filled with music.
"Shadows grow so long BEFORE MY EYES!" Will sang loudly in the most annoying voice Elizabeth had ever heard from him.
"Stop," she put her hand out, trying not to smile at his idiocy.
"Come on, Liz, you know you want to sing," he looked at her briefly with a smile before he jumped right back into the song. "And it's moving across the page!"
"One, you don't even like him, and two, you don't even know the lyrics!" Elizabeth shook her hands in playful frustration.
"I don't have to like him to know the lyrics!" Will laughed as he stopped singing. He had dared to try to change how she was feeling, and he had a feeling it was working. "You used to listen to him like every day, which meant I had to listen to him every day!"
"You are such an ass!" Elizabeth finally let out a small chuckle at her brother's antics.
"Don't fight the music, Lizzie!" he started to move his shoulders as he danced to the music. It was now coming to the chorus. "Come sing it with me!"
"Will, I am not singing!" she shook her head and tried to wipe the smile from her face.
"OH baby, I love your way!" he took off as the chorus began. "I wanna tell you I love your way, every day, yeah, yeah!"
"You live to annoy me, don't you?" she asked, laughing at how animated he had become.
"What was that?" he cupped his hand to his ear, pretending he didn't hear her, but then moved to turn the volume up more. "I can't you over Peter!" Once again, he started to sing. "I wanna be with you night and day!"
There was one thing about siblings. Sometimes, the last thing you wanted to do was laugh, but they could always find a way to make you do so, even at the worst times. This moment was one of those times. Elizabeth did not feel like laughing or doing anything, but she couldn't help but love her brother all the more for finding a way to do so. Will was a dork, but he was her dork, and she couldn't help but feel a sense of pride as she watched him now. When all she felt was darkness, he had found a way to shine a light. One she knew she needed before she went home and saw her kids for the first time in three weeks.
"You are supposed to be singing!" he shouted as the next verse began, and finally, their voices in unison sang together.
"The moon appears to shine and LIGHT THE SKIES!"
For two tone-deaf people, they were giving it their all and sang until their voices could no longer sing. A good laugh was what Elizabeth needed even if she had not realized it, and right now, she was thankful. She was grateful for her little brother and that even though sometimes he was the most annoying person, he loved her enough to care whether she laughed or not. He cared if she had eaten or not. Some people had no one to love them, and Elizabeth felt lucky because she had more than one. They might have lost their parents on that awful day, but they had not lost each other, and she was more grateful than she had ever been in this moment, right now, in the car with Will.
Elizabeth and Will had gotten back to the house just in time for the kids' bedtime, and Elizabeth was thankful she had not missed the opportunity to say goodnight.
"Thank you so much for being with them, Helen," Elizabeth gratefully sighed as she dropped her bag and hugged her mother-in-law. Henry's mom had flown in to be with the kids over the past few weeks when Will could not. She was thankful for this. She was grateful they had people to lean on. She had always had a soft spot for Helen as she had a much softer heart than Henry's father. Henry most definitely was more like her than he was like his father. Not having a mother of her own had always played a part in the soft spot she held for Helen. When she first had Stevie, Helen was the only woman she could turn to for advice.
"There is no need to thank me," Helen shook her head as the two pulled apart. "What are grandmothers for? I have enjoyed being with them more than you could ever know!"
"Well, I'm sure they are happy to spend time with you as well. Try is Will might; he is not a woman after all, and he certainly isn't their grandma," Elizabeth said with a small chuckle.
"How are you holding up honey?" Helen asked with a knowing look as she could see the emotions swirling through Elizabeth's eyes.
"You know I'm tired..." Elizabeth looked down, unable to hold her eye contact at the motherly look Helen was giving her. But I am happy to be home for a moment and get the chance to see the kids. God, I miss them."
"I can't imagine," Helen nodded in understanding as she reached and gently rubbed Elizabeth's arm. She had not had to go through the turmoil of losing a child in the way her son and daughter-in-law had. Even though her granddaughter had finally been found, she knew the pain had not left them. "I'm sure they will be just as happy to see you. I didn't tell them you were coming. I thought it might be a nice surprise."
"Where are they?" Elizabeth asked curiously. She noted the silence and looked around, not seeing any of her children.
"I set them up with a show upstairs so you could have a few minutes to yourself if needed," Helen explained as she turned to look at the opening front door.
Will had finally entered. As they pulled up, he got a phone call he had to take and stayed out so he didn't disturb the house. "Liz, I am gonna go straight up and try to get some shut-eye," he said as he hugged her. "Make sure you do the same. Also, what time are we leaving tomorrow?"
"No later than eight. I want to see the kids off the school, but then I'd like to get back as quick as possible," she answered as she watched him begin to make his way up the stairs.
"Okay sounds good," Will replied. "I'm gonna say goodnight to the kids real quick."
"Don't you dare rial them up!" Elizabeth gave him the big sister look, knowing how her brother could be with her kids.
"Who me?" Will stopped and looked at her like she couldn't possibly be serious.
"Yes, you!" Elizabeth nodded her head with a slight smirk. "Now go, and you better listen."
"Yes, mother," he sarcastically replied before disappearing up the stairs.
"Sorry about that," Elizabeth chuckled as she shifted her gaze back to Helen.
"It's alright," Helen laughed. "I find him quite endearing."
"He is something alright," Elizabeth shook her head and began taking her jacket off.
"Is there anything I can get for you, sweetheart?' Helen asked, trying to make sure Elizabeth was okay. "You want me to run you a bath or anything?"
"Oh, Helen," Elizabeth looked at her in disbelief at her kindness. "You are so thoughtful for checking, but I think I'd just like to go be with the kids. I'm sure they are beyond tired. I can grab a quick shower after they go down."
"Well, just let me know if you change your mind," Helen leaned forward, placing a quick kiss on her cheek. I'll be down here if you need anything."
Elizabeth blushed slightly at the woman's motherly affection and tried to ignore how it made her feel like a little kid. "I will," she replied, squeezing her hand in return.
They parted ways, and Elizabeth took a deep breath before she headed up the stairs. When she made it up there, she immediately heard the TV coming from the kid's playroom and walked to the door. They did not notice her, so she stood in the doorway and took them in. She didn't know how to describe the feeling that filled her heart. An intense and immense love made her heart feel fit to burst. It had been too long since she had seen them, and though she still thought of the child missing from the trio, she took comfort in seeing the three together. Stevie and Alison were sitting on the little couch, Jason was lying on his stomach in front of the TV, and all three were immersed in their movie.
"Hey, babies," she voiced softly. At the same time, all three heads snapped toward her, and their faces lit up in excitement.
"Mommy!" they shouted as they all stood and ran towards her.
"Oh, I missed you guys!" she exhaled as she knelt down, opened her arms, and brought them all into her embrace.
"We didn't know you were coming home," Stevie exclaimed happily. She was the first to pull away and stare at her mother in love.
"Well, your grandma thought it would be a nice surprise!" Elizabeth laughed as she felt tiny hands gripping her tightly.
"Are you staying?" Alison asked, looking at her in hopefulness.
"Yeah, baby, I am," Elizabeth nodded as she leaned forward and kissed her cheek. I will be here tonight and stay until you guys leave for school in the morning."
"Awhh," Stevie looked at sadly. "Why can't you stay longer?"
"I know, baby," Elizabeth sadly smiled as she reached and cupped Stevie's face. "I don't want to leave you guys either, but I can't leave Daddy alone for too long."
"Look what Uncle Will got me!" Jason jumped in excitement as he showed off his T-Rex. "Rawrrrr!
"Wow!" Elizabeth chuckled as she looked at him, matching his excitement. "Look at that buddy! How cool is that!"
"Mhmm!" Jason nodded as he immediately began playing with it, seemingly unfocused on anything but his new toy.
"Uncle Will's pretty great, huh?" she asked as she looked between the three of them.
"Yeah! He took us to the mall for ice cream yesterday and bought something special for each of us!" Alison exclaimed as she opened her wide in happiness.
"Oh, really?" Elizabeth chuckled as she considered what an outing with Will and her children would be like.
"Yeah!" Alison beamed in joy. "But even though we had fun, it's not as much fun as when you and Daddy take us out."
"Awh," Elizabeth smiled at the sentiment. "Uncle Will is pretty fun, but Mommy and Daddy never have as much fun as when we are with you guys."
"Mom?" Stevie looked at her with her brow furrowed.
"Yes, baby?" Elizabeth looked at her eldest as she reached out and held her hand.
"Why didn't daddy come back too?" she asked, confused.
"Well, honey," Elizabeth started as she looked down and tried not to let the weight of being away from Madeline tear her down. He had to stay with your sister. We couldn't leave her there all alone, just like we could never leave one of you guys in the hospital all alone."
"So he's with Maddy?" Stevie questioned innocently.
"Yes, he is, baby," Elizabeth nodded as she reached and twirled a strand of Stevie's hair around her finger.
"So we have another sister?" Alison asked curiously, joining in the conversation.
The question alone made Elizabeth quake to her very core. Time had begun to erase what had been the missing child from her other children's minds, and it pained her deeply. Stevie had the most memories of Madeline, but it seemed like she had begun to fade from Alison's memories, and she doubted Jason would be able to remember her at all. "Yes, sweet girl, you do," Elizabeth answered in a shaky voice. And soon you will get to see her again..."
"We will?" Alison asked as she tilted her head.
"Yeah!' Elizabeth tried to raise her voice in excitement. "Once she gets all better, Daddy and I will bring her home."
"Really?" Stevie added a small smile, pulling at the corner of her mouth.
"Uh-huh!" Elizabeth smiled. "But that will happen on a different day. For now, Mommy is home to be with you guys!"
"Yay!" Jason ran over and wrapped his arms around her neck.
"What do you say we go to mummy and daddy's room, and I read you guys a book, hmm?" Elizabeth asked as she wrapped her around Stevie and pulled her close. "You guys can fall asleep with me."
"Yeah!" they all said in unison and ran out the door toward their parents' bedroom.
They all jumped into the bed, and Elizabeth scooted between them. "I love you guys...so much," she softly stated, holding them as close as possible. With that, they are settled in the bed together, and Elizabeth reads to them as they fall asleep. They were tired and did not last long, just as Elizabeth had expected. She sighed heavily, content with the feeling of the weight of her children on her. There were arms and legs everywhere, going in all different directions, and she smiled at the sight. As much as she wanted to keep them close where she could see them, she knew they all would sleep better in the comfort of their beds. So slowly, she exited the bed, carried them one by one back to their rooms, and placed them safely in their beds. She kissed each one goodnight and voiced her love before returning to her room's quietness. Shutting the door behind, she leaned against it and took a deep breath.
Shower and bed
Shower and bed
Showered and bed
These were the things she needed, but it seemed almost impossible to silence the noise in her brain, and the silence of the room made it seem all the louder.
Madeline
Henry
Madeline and Henry
She wondered how they were doing. Were they sleeping like she was supposed to be, or were they awake like she was? She was in the comfort of her home and room, but yet she didn't feel comforted. She felt alone. The room felt so empty without Henry or the kids. She had been going so long that she had the space to think or even feel she wished she didn't. The only thing she could think to do was fall into bed and pray sleep took her.
Time 4:42 am
Elizabeth woke to the sound of her phone buzzing, pulling her from the sleep she had finally found. Rubbing her eyes, she squinted and noticed the time.
Henry and Madeline
The thought of them blared like alarm bells, and she panicked, searching for her phone. Finally, she located it and picked up the call. She did not need to look at the caller ID to know who it was.
"Henry?!" she answered, her heart feeling like it was falling off a cliff.
"I'm sorry I woke you," he answered, but she could hear the shake in his voice. "But I know I promised I would call if uh-if-"
"What happened?" she asked, cutting him off as she felt her stomach drop and her breathing stop.
"I think you should get down here as soon as you can. I need you and-um Madeline needs you..."
There it is everyone! Chapter nine is finished! I really hope you enjoyed reading it and please me know what you think and what your favorite part was. I'll be back soon for chapter ten.
-lovelylavenderlady