Hello, it is the 28th and I am back with a new chapter! I decided to go classic for this chapter and write a letter from James to Jessie when she first discovers that she's pregnant. Newly a couple and the typical, goofy agents ahead of getting a bit more serious in the BW Pokemon Series, the news greatly surprises them both. But James is here to reassure his former partner in crime, now partner in life. He isn't going anywhere :) I hope you enjoy!
As Jessie slammed the door of her shared dormitory behind her and reached to toss her gloves on her bed, she felt a heaviness like the weight of a thousand trunked creatures crashing down on her shoulders. However, rather than focusing on this feeling spreading to her upper back and massaging the tender spots with firm, gloveless fingers, she could not ignore the heaviness spreading to her middle.
How peculiar, she mused to herself. She had never noticed it in the weeks prior. Or if she had, she had lied to herself, insisting on carefully crafted fibs that seemed plausible.
She just wasn't eighteen anymore. Into her twenties now, she had put on a little weight. And besides, she was constantly in starvation mode, her body either hollowing out at her collarbones and cheekbones or like this, bloating to keep her body going. It didn't help that whatever meals her, James, and Meowth could find were usually noodles or rice or bread.
Jessie had told herself all these things over and over. Lied to herself. Had been unable to admit the truth.
But the truth couldn't be denied any longer. Those lines on all the pregnancy tests she had taken just to make sure had made her unable to run from reality.
Out of habit, as she moved further away from the door and headed to the kitchen area of the dormitory instead, her bare hand rested over her abdomen. But then she pulled it away. She didn't know if she should get attached.
She had lost her own mother at a painfully young age. She didn't know how to be one herself. If she could be one herself. If she even wanted to.
But like a winged creature to a tinge of heat, Jessie's hand was back on her stomach as something piqued her curiosity. A note hung on the fridge that she hadn't noticed before, held up by a magnet in the shape of a flower the same hue as the woman's hair.
This meant that it was from one person and one person alone.
Jessie's stomach lurched though she could not lie to herself this time. Couldn't tell herself it was morning sickness. She had dealt with that months ago when she thought it had been the dodgy food that people had left discarded at restaurant tables.
A shaky hand moving away from her stomach, Jessie reached for the wad of papers clipped to the fridge by the magnet. She felt her heart dropping down into her belly, worsening her nausea as she saw how it was addressed.
It was indeed to her. It was James' writing. This meant only one thing and one thing alone, she told herself.
He was finally leaving her. He had decided that he didn't want to be more than best friends – more than teammates – and he certainly didn't want anything to do with her now that she was knocked up.
It was going to happen sooner rather than later, Jessie had fretted to herself secretly many times, let alone when she told him of what the two of them had inadvertently made together.
Deciding to get it over with, Jessie's hand stuck like a magnet to her stomach for support – or in protectiveness because the little being wasn't wanted by their father – she eased herself into a chair. Levelling herself as much as she could, she took a purposeful breath inward.
Jessie began to read. As she did so, she became even gladder that she was sitting down.
Dear Jessie sweetheart,
I know that we've discussed these matters many times in person and hopefully I've put across my feelings well each time. But I wanted to write to you so you could really know what I think. And remember what I think as well. Sometimes you seem to forget my words. I know you've been hurt in the past and that's not your fault. But I think that hurt makes you not trust what I say.
I hope, dear Jessie, that you can trust what I write. And trust when I tell you that I love you deeply in a way that I never knew possible for me to feel, and I will be here for you to support whatever decision that you feel you need to make.
The pregnancy came as a shock to you. It came as a shock to me too! I don't need to tell you that we've only been together a few weeks and the night that lead to the positive sign on the test is a hazy, blurry albeit treasured occasion. Obviously, how far along you are means we don't have as many options. But there's always a way, please remember that.
No matter how scary or hopeless or confusing things seem, there is light at the end of the tunnel, and I will hold your hand the entire way so we can both be as happy as we always were. I swear it.
I'm not sure that you want to have a baby. Want to be a mother. I know you're not sure either. But I want you to know that if you decide for us to go through with it then I will support you and our baby for the rest of my life.
There are so many options that seem far away from this little bubble of confusion that we are in. But there are always answers. Always ways. I could go for a higher paying role in Team Rocket if given a chance. Work even harder at what we do.
We could quit.
But we don't need to worry too much about that immediately.
Like I said, I just want you to know that I am here for you. As here for you and as happy to be here for you as I always was. Getting to be with you has been a dream come true and if you want to have a family with me then it would be my honor.
I've never thought about being a dad. Never thought it would happen. And if it did, I suppose it would have to be with Jessebelle and we both know how I would feel about that!
But it's with you, Jess. Or could be with you. And even if that is just an idea then it's an idea that makes me incredibly happy.
I'm not sure I'd be a good dad straight away. But I would make sure to learn. I don't want to be anything like mine. I would be as good to them as I try to be good to you. Would always be there. Would never leave. I would cherish that little thing. Our little thing.
But like I said, no rush. No pressure.
I just wanted you to know that I love you. And that I'm here. There's no woman in the world that I would want to be going through all of this with. You were the beginning of the best chapter of my life, Jess. I was the luckiest man alive to be your teammate and I'm rich in every way possible by getting to be your love.
You are never alone; I hope you know that. As long as I'm alive then there will always be someone rooting for you, admiring you, cherishing you – worshipping you, to be quite honest – and wanting to see your smiles.
Whatever you want, Jessie, it's okay with me. I just want you to feel happy and feel loved by our family. And if our family is the two of us and Meowth then I couldn't ask for anything more.
One of the first things I said to you at the start of me being your Team Rocket partner, I promised you that I would never let you down.
And I meant it.
All my love, my strength and support are yours. Always.
Yours forever,
James.
And as the pages fluttered down to the floor, the rose shaped magnet along with it, stamping the words to the wood below, Jessie found one palm of hers pressed against the center of her chest and the other cupping her ever-growing bump.
Both thudded back against her hand. Jessie's eyes fell shut in the same motion as the pages falling and she could not stop herself from whispering.
Unlike James, she didn't have page upon page to say. But she hoped that what was natural for her to speak was enough.
"I couldn't have chosen a better dad for you, little one." Jessie murmured, her eyes opening as she could not resist spying her belly for what it was for one of the first few times, wetness leaving her lid in the shape of a droplet.
She could feel her heartbeat in her chest pattering against her fingertips as she roamed her digits over her swollen stomach. In due course, she would feel other heartbeats and kicking motions against her.
Jessie didn't know at that point that there were two little ones in there. And she didn't know that a dream that she had never known she had wished for was about to come true.
She never thought about being a mother. Never wanted to be one. But these two little ones wanted her, so she had no choice. Destiny was calling to her.
It was the making of her. Finally, a proper family to call her own. And a whole new life on the other side of this transformative chapter.
There you go, thanks so much for reading and I hope you enjoyed! :) It was nice for me to write the more wholesome side of James given that behind the scenes at the moment I've been writing about some of the less than admirable years of his life :P I think that being sudden, young parents affects both Jessie and James greatly, but it isn't until they quit Team Rocket that they quite realise the impact it's had on their relationship, and how they barely had time to date before becoming parents yet found themselves in a really serious relationship. I think of Jessie as never really wanting children but then once they have the twins, she surprises herself by her capacity to love more people than James and Meowth. And as for James, well, his capacity to love people only grows with him as he ages :P Thanks again for reading and I'll be back on a Wednesday soon to update Pikachu Tales so perhaps see you there if you read that too! If not, this one will be updated for its final chapter in exactly a month :3 Until then!
Amy signing out :P
