Ron the True Fan: And now for more fun. And full disclaimer, I just want to get this over with. I want to get to Hoenn. Johto is PAIN.

Olivine City Gym - 1042 hours - Day 470 of Ash Ketchum's Pokemon Journey

Ash's first priority wasn't the badge. It was his second. "How's Amphy?" he asked Jasmine as he entered the gym. "Feeling better?"

"Much." said the gym leader. "Not going to be lighting the house for a while, but she's gonna be fine. Standard 6-on-6, no limits on type."

Ash nodded with a light smile, hoping his team would fight and have a good time instead of…bullying as Jasmine sent out a Steelix, who attempted to look menacing.

Ash just stared it down like it was just another Pidgey. "Should be a fair fight." he said simply. "Hopefully one we both enjoy." With that, he sent out a Pokemon that outright demanded more gym battles.

"Gible!" 'Hi!' said the land shark as he rematerialized. And then Jasmine started hyperventilating as Gible did his little Gible dance.

Ash blinked. "Jasmine?" he asked about two seconds before she tossed a Mineral Badge at him and ran screaming.

Gible tilted to one side. "Gible?" 'What did I do?' he asked, confused.

"GET BACK HERE!" Ash yelled, running after her.

Outside the arena - steel-type gyms required it by law to… well, keep spectators away from the field - Kyoji and Max watched as she ran for the entrance, but someone was faster.

"Gible?" 'Gym lady, are you ok?' asked the yellow shark, only making her scream more and run out of the building. "Gible?" '…Did I say something?'

Ash ran after her, looking a combination of concerned and very mad. And like all Gibles, he couldn't stand that, so he chased after her, ready to give a nice gentle chomp to let her know he was a friend.

"GET THAT THING AWAY FROM ME!" she screamed, making him pout.

Kyoji caught up to him as he stood there like a sharky lump. "What happened?" he asked his friend, picking him up.

"Gible…" 'She hates Gibles…' he said.

Kyoji blinked, confused by this. "…Who could hate GIBLES?!" he demanded. "You're adorable! You're cute! You're friendly!"

The yellow shark just pouted. Gibles never handled rejection well. Mostly because it almost never happened.

Jasmine had one hell of a head start, but was blindly running towards the docks. She didn't notice until she was already halfway towards the freezing water.

She struggled to get back to the surface before Ash Ketchum dived in seconds later - son of a bitch was FAST - and dragged her to the surface.

"You…" he said, none too pleased before releasing a Bayleef that dragged them up back to the dock with her vines. "Owe me one of two things: a gym battle or an explanation."

"I-I ran, so that's a forfeit-"

"And I don't care about that: Team Rocket kidnapped me once from a match." Ash cut off as they reached the pier. "By all rights, that was outside interference: should've gotten a new match the next day. Instead I was screwed for it. You didn't forfeit. I'm getting my match, not a FUCKING HANDOUT."

Yeah, he hated those.

"…You have a Gible. I'm not fighting a Gible." she said, shivering.

"Lots of people have Gibles, Jasmine: they're a popular Pokemon." Ash retorted as… IT arrived.

"Gible!" cried the creature of nightmare as it ran towards them, making her scream in terror. Ash's iron grip kept her from fleeing.

He sighed. "Don't fight it." he said in a light monotone before the monster latched onto her head, before she screamed LOUDER.

10 minutes later - Olivine Gym

She cradled herself while covered in blankets, Ash glaring at her.

"Ash, she's traumatized." Max said while looking at her… then at the cause, who was sitting on his sharky butt, pouting. "Somehow… by one of the most friendly Pokemon on the planet."

Kyoji walked into the lounge. "Her Steelix told me why." he said, his own shark in his arms, also pouting. "Apparently, a school of Gibles… ate her team."

Max and Ash both stared at him. "Gibles don't EAT other Pokemon." the student said dryly. "They don't even eat steel-types. They eat their detritus: shed metal skins, broken blades, that sort of thing."

"And that accusation's only making him sad." Ash added, gesturing to the Ranseian Gible.

Kyoji gave him a look. "They were shedding at the time: magnets losing their charge, plating loose, horns falling off, that sort of thing." he continued, defensively, petting Gible. "Sharks helped clean them up."

"And gave her a traumatic experience." Max summed up. "When did this happen?"

"Two years ago, just after she became a gym leader." Kyoji replied, Jasmine continuing to rock. "She's in no shape for a match."

"As soon as she IS, I'm EARNING this thing." Ash all but snapped, putting the Mineral Badge on a table. "I'm sick of handouts."

"Ash, she ran from the arena." Kyoji said gently. "The rules-"

"I don't CARE about the rules." Ash cut off. "Did the rules do anything when Team Rocket interfered in my first League Conference, forcing me to rescue my starter? Did the rules do squat when Tobias used nothing but legendaries in Sinnoh? Did they even give a damn-"

"You've made your point." Max said. "You don't like the double-standards preventing fair fights. Ash, she won't fight you at all now. She knows you have a Gible."

"What does me having a Gible have to do with anything?!" Ash snapped. "She can look at my team if she wants-"

"And the back of her mind is going to be going 'he has a Gible'." Kyoji said. "I don't like it either. Demonizing Gibles like this. But she forfeit. That's the rules. Talk to Lance."

"I WILL be bitching to Lance." Ash said before walking up to Jasmine, who looked at him in mild terror. He did not enjoy it. "I'm sorry for triggering you. I didn't know. But I'm not accepting the badge without an actual fight. I'll wait until you're better. But I'll be back."

With that done, he left, Pikachu running and jumping onto his shoulder.

"…Did he mean to make that sound menacing?" Kyoji asked Max.

"Not intentionally. But Ash IS sick and tired of getting things for free." Max answered before following his tutor. "Goes against who he is."

"Lots of things go against his nature." Kyoji started before following Max out, picking up the badge. "He hates sitting still, he hates sleeping apparently and likes to torture the women in his life with celibacy. He's going to get over it. He doesn't have a choice."

Life sucked that way.

The 'Ketchum House' - 1234 hours local

"You demanded a match from someone in the middle of a panic attack?!" Serena snapped.

"I said I would wait until she was better." Ash retorted gently. "That doesn't mean today, tomorrow or next week: it means when she is better."

She smacked him upside the head. "That doesn't matter!" Serena shouted. "She's in no shape to fight you and the only reason I'm being GENTLE is because you were ignorant of her fear of Gibles! You got a badge. Hate how you got it, but you have it. Now go deal with your depressed Pokemon."

The two Pokemon in question were the Gibles. And only one was his.

"Gible…" 'Who is scared of us? We're…Gibles.' Kyoji's land shark asked.

"Gible-Gib." 'The gym lady is scared. I just wanted to have fun…' Ash's shark said.

Then the sharks were joined by a smaller, red land shark. "Gib!" 'No sad daddy and uncle!' said Lava Gible, before he glowed, using Overheat.

Both Gibles opened their maws and eyesmiled. "Gib…" 'WARM…' the two said in unison.

Thunder crashed outside. "Storm's here." Serena said bluntly. "You're on nap duty."

Ash gave her a look. "Nap duty?" he asked dryly.

"Yes." she said, doing a very… sensual… walk before sitting on his lap. "Your Pokemon are self-training. You're only needed if they have trouble with a move. And you don't sleep well. So…you're going to sleep. I am not happy with you and Jasmine, but that's only because you feel like you were told to go away and play with the other children."

Ash's eyes bored into hers.

"I'm not wrong, sweety." she said. "You want to earn it, not have it handed to you like a spoiled toddler, but you were shooed out like one. And you don't like it. Understandably so. But you don't have a choice this time. She won't fight you. She's too afraid of the Gible. Just like YOU'RE afraid of being a carbon copy of your father."

Ash looked away, ashamed.

"There is absolutely nothing wrong about being afraid of being a deadbeat dad." Serena added. "You don't want to have a kid you leave and never see again. That said, sweetheart… you're not going to be a deadbeat dad. You'll be there all the time if they actually need you. But you're not going to be a helicopter dad, either. You will be the PERFECT father. And in two years or so, you will be proving it because YOU WILL BE PUTTING A BABY IN ME."

Ash TRIED to back away. But he was sitting down, so that was impossible.

She put a finger to his lips. "Two years. Not now." Serena added. "I'm not your wife yet. All I can do…" in the blink of an eye, she took her top off, revealing her bra-covered chest… which wasn't a bra. It was a Fennekin-themed bikini top and her skirt was tossed aside, revealing a matching bikini bottom below. "Is this." With that, his head was shoved between her now-larger breasts, which were hidden well under her shirt.

But her heartbeat hadn't changed at all.

"Serena…" came the voice of Anabel, who walked into the room. "Bedroom. That chair will be bad for his back."

Serena smiled. "Alright." she said, dragging the half-asleep Ash off the chair before getting up, walking into the hallway and giving her a kiss.

"Buh?" said a clueless Max, who simply stood there before his starter dragged him back into another room as this was too sexy for his mind to handle, though the two girls made out/dragged Ash to his bedroom.

Ron the True Fan: Because cute can traumatize.

Takeshi Yamato: As much as we wish it didn't. I mean, it's GIBLE! The adorable Land Shark that makes the Jaws Theme nonthreatening!

Ron the True Fan: But Gible traumatized Jasmine. Which ties into the latest running gag of us and gym battles. Yes, I am not writing them for one reason. I WANT OUT OF JOHTO. I'll add them in the Director's Cut when they're viable, like Chuck's. But honestly, I'm not interested in making battles. I'm interested in the characters.

Takeshi Yamato: Which is fair enough. Besides, we have SHENANIGANS planned for Hoenn. LOTS of shenanigans, yessssssssssssssssssssssssss…

Ron the True Fan: Only I get to pull a Beast Wars Megatron. At least I live in the same country it was produced in.

Takeshi Yamato: Fair enough. But yeah, Hoenn's going to get crazy. Sinnoh's probably going to be even WORSE. Maybe when we get to Unova we can actually give Ash a relative vacation.

Ron the True Fan: That's dependant on me, really. Besides, in Unova Ash is going to have to deal with Dennis. That's not a vacation, that's a war. A war I am NOT looking forward to. Mostly because, like MOST people, I am NOT a fan of what they did in Unova to Ash. Good thing I plan to butcher it like Silent Hill does to literally everyone that goes there.

Takeshi Yamato: …Yeesh.

Ron the True Fan: Haven't you heard? I'm a vengeful, spiteful son of a bitch. At least I restrict my targets to things that generally offend EVERYONE. Fuck Unova.

Takeshi Yamato: Fair enough. Still, the principle I was considering holds. We need to give Ash a season that is much… calmer. Lets him relax. Maybe not Unova, maybe Alola, but… yeah.

Ron the True Fan: Well, sooner we're done with Johto, the happier we all are.

Ja Ne!