A/N: The beginning of this fic starts right where 'Fugue' left off: when Koko is back in Oldtown following her assassination of Amrit. Most of it will overlap with 'Daughters of Mara' (book 1 only), but some scenes are only brief snippets of previous scenes from Koko's POV (and later, Valen's). They will not necessarily have any context since they've been shortened, so don't expect this to be a full recap.

CW: anxiety attack

They didn't warn Koko about what was at the foot of the stairs, behind the thick metal door. Maybe they'd forgotten. Certainly, Nani seemed excited to surprise her with what was hidden under the mountain next to Oldtown.

And so when Koko stepped into the light and saw the train, she froze. Her body, of its own accord, began to produce sweat at an alarming rate and everything in front of her narrowed just like the dark tunnel that was waiting to swallow her up.

"Koko?"

The voice echoed strangely in her mind. Distorted. It felt too much like another voice that had subjugated her, right after…

She was gone. Elsewhere. The comet burned in the sky overhead. Metal screamed and ripped. Bones broke as she tumbled head over heels. The only thing that saved her from certain death was someone gripping her shoulder to drag her back to the present.

"Koko," Nani said with more urgency. Hazy light finally resolved into a worried face, and then a body that was crouched down. "Are you okay? What's wrong?"

Koko realized then that she was sitting against the wall with her knees up. Every muscle trembled and she couldn't seem to catch her breath. "I– I don't– don't know what's– happening."

"I think you're having a panic attack. Just breathe, alright? You're safe here. Nothing's going to hurt you."

Being scrunched up like that definitely wasn't good for deep breaths, so Koko let her legs straighten and closed her eyes. Gradually, her heart rate stabilized and her mind cleared a little. "It's a train," she said simply.

"Yeah. We've come a long way since–" Nani gasped and cut off. "Oh! I am so sorry! I wasn't even thinking about what happened to you during the comet. Actually, I had a similar reaction when they first built this thing. Finding that crashed train was one of the worst moments of my life. It took me years to get used to this one. Ugh… I'm sorry. I was just so excited for you to see everything we've accomplished."

The onslaught of words, spoken all in a rush, washed over Koko like a bad memory. They both had bad memories. It was comforting, in a way, that they shared this one. So many years ago… Had Amrit strategically placed bodies around the crash so that they'd think Kiriko had died?

Did he know who she was? The question would never be answered and it pissed her off enough to shake off the anxiety. "I'm good," she said as she got to her feet, wondering what had happened. In the weeks since regaining her memories, nothing else had triggered such an extreme reaction.

"Are you sure? We don't have to go down right now, if you're not ready."

"No. It's fine. I want to see what you all have managed to do under this mountain. I assume you've tried to recreate a miniature Zaofu?"

Nani smiled, though there was a rueful edge to it. "More like a hybrid between Zaofu and Republic City. Much smaller than either, of course."

Koko took a deep breath and forced herself to get on the train. I'm just gonna have to get used to this. Fortunately, Nani kept her distracted with conversation.

"Listen, there's something I wanted to talk to you about." She pulled a bottle of pills out of her pocket. "I wanted to give these to you before, but Mom told me to wait until you were cleared to enter the city, since they're obviously manufactured and we're supposed to keep things like this super secret."

There was no label or other kind of identifying information, but Koko had a feeling she knew what they were.

"It's the same dose you used to take," Nani continued, "but it's been a while so we might have to see how you go and adjust as necessary. Are you still having painful periods?"

Koko could only nod slowly. That particular misery was one of those things she'd long since accepted as an unavoidable part of life that would never go away. Oh-One had been particularly good at compartmentalizing physical pain. Since becoming Koko, she'd only had to endure one cycle and welcomed it as karmic penance.

But I'm not supposed to think like that anymore. She quickly threw back one of the pills, not even caring that it went down hard without water. "Thanks."

"You're welcome. But…that's not what I wanted to talk to you about." Nani hesitated for a moment. "Um… I hope this doesn't embarrass you, but Sherabi mentioned that, when you first got to Jupa, you had some pain while you were bathing. If you have an infection, I can have a look and find a treatment so it doesn't get worse."

Koko was confused until she remembered that, during her interrogation with the truth seer, Nani had stepped out a few times. "It's not an infection. It's an old injury. Something the Society does to new female members."

In her peripheral vision, she saw Nani's shoulders slump despondently.

"Oh. I– I'm sorry. I missed some of your story because it was too hard to hear. When you started talking about them putting you in isolation until you–" Her voice caught and she put her hand over her mouth for a moment. "I'm sorry I brought it up."

"It's fine," Koko said in a flat voice.

That effectively ended the discussion but—much to Koko's annoyance—Nani insisted on taking her to the medical center for a basic checkup, saying it was standard procedure.

"As far as I can tell, you're in perfect health," she concluded half an hour later. "Aside from your…injury, of course. Would you be willing to let me examine it?"

"What's the point? It's too old to be healed with waterbending."

"There's more to medical care than waterbending."

Koko sighed, resigned to the fact that Nani was never going to let it go. "Fine…"

But with her feet up, legs spread, completely exposed below the waist except from a thin sheet, she nearly had another panic attack. She hadn't been in such a vulnerable position since that horrific day. The day of initiation.

Nani was extra gentle with her. "Slow, deep breaths," she said, squeezing Koko's hand. "I'm sure this must be hard for you to relive."

"I'm fine," Koko said through gritted teeth. "Just get it over with so I can get dressed."

"Don't worry, this won't take long." She sat back down and disappeared beneath the sheet. The feather-light touches from the exam weren't even as bad as the friction from walking. "Mother of Faces. Koko, I– I don't know what to say." Her voice was strained, full of raw emotion. "You must be in a lot of pain."

"I'm used to it. Barely notice anymore," she lied.

"Well…" Nani sighed and stood up. "There's a lot of scarring. I don't know how deep it is and won't be able to tell without hurting you, but you might be a candidate for reconstructive surgery. I'm not sure. We do have someone who's done a handful of sex reassignments and could probably fix you up, but that sort of thing is still kind of experimental…"

"So what you're saying is that it could be pointless or even make it worse?"

"There's always a small risk with surgery."

Koko sat up and put her feet down, a little disappointed by the answer but glad this ordeal was over with. "Then I'm not interested. I've learned to live with this. It is what it is."

"But–" Nani's brows furrowed down into a concerned frown. "I know you're probably not thinking about this right now, but wouldn't you like to give yourself the chance to have a relatively normal sex life one day?"

"No. I don't want that—not now, not ever." The idea was almost laughable, if Koko were a person capable of laughing.

"Why not? This is a new chapter in your life and you never know how things might change for you–"

"There's change, and there's impossible. I'm done talking about this." Who could love someone like me, anyway? Nani and the Beifongs… I'm family to them. They can't help themselves. But someone new? A man? He would look into my past and only see a monster in front of him.

Three Years Later

With hot water streaming down her face and body, Koko was able to empty her mind for a little while. Her life had few moments of genuine relaxation, but showering came close. It made no difference to her that Nani's hot water tank was limited; she could easily heat the water as hot as she wanted with her bending.

Right now it was likely approaching fifty degrees. Even with the bathroom door closed, it steamed up half the house. Nani was always getting onto her about the inevitable mold. But Nani wasn't there right now, and hadn't been for weeks.

Koko herself had only recently returned to Oldtown, following the successful liberation of a small village to the north. She and a few others had gotten everyone out and relocated them to more remote areas where there wasn't any blue sage occupation.

That sort of work was satisfying, but somehow, the shower felt better. Helping others was just a way to achieve karmic balance. Even bending didn't give her the joy she once felt; it was merely a reminder of how much hurt she'd caused. Showers, on the other hand, seemed to wash away emotion alongside the dirt and sweat.

When she could justify it no longer, Koko finally turned the water off. The pressures of life returned and Nani's voice rang in her head.

"It's so bad for your skin for the water to be that hot. You should at least finish with a cool rinse to open your pores."

"Does my skin look like it's suffering to you?"

Nani crossed her arms and made a face that could only be described as a pout. "No. Your skin is perfect. But you're not twenty anymore so don't get cocky."

The dynamic between them was somewhat different than what Koko remembered it being between Kiriko and Raniq. They were more like sisters now. They bickered more often, though there was no force behind it. Nani seemed to have less patience than Raniq had had; Koko suspected it was because her life hadn't turned out the way she'd wanted. Or maybe it was just that she was stretching herself too thin.

The Beifongs were in Jupa. Saph, Mara, and Jojin were in Dao-Shu. Nani's own family—minus her dad, who had perished during the comet—was in Oldtown. And of course, there were all the people in the surrounding areas that Nani helped. She was constantly on the move. No chance to settle down and build a new family.

Back in the guest room that Koko had exclusive use of, she dressed and tried to decide how to pass the rest of her day. Morning had been spent at the power plant and she was pretty tired from generating lightning for hours.

An old but well-cared for book on her nightstand caught her attention. She walked over and picked it up.

Bent, but Not Broken

Guess I could give this another read…

It always reminded her of when she'd first entered the undercity of Oldtown, more than three years ago:

"Well, here we are," Nani had said brightly. "My house. It's kind of small, but it's close to the train and medical center, and away from all the noise of downtown. I've got a guest room that you're welcome to use whenever you're here. Unless you'd rather get the Council to find you an apartment."

Koko looked around at the tidy garden, then up at the orb that hung near the cavern's ceiling. Nik's genius creation. "I'm fine staying here. I doubt I'll be around that much, anyway."

Inside, she found a cozy living room attached to a small kitchen. A hallway led to two bedrooms and a bathroom. After a brief tour, they went back into the main room and Koko wondered what she was supposed to do. She didn't own anything but the clothes on her back and a small bag with a few travel necessities.

Just as she was about to make an excuse to leave and wander the city, she spotted a book on the tea table. A rush of memories flowed through her mind, and suddenly she found herself holding it. Turning back the cover. Lin had signed it.

"This was Kiriko's…"

"Yeah," Nani said. "You left it at my house in Zaofu and I accidentally packed it when we evacuated. I'm so glad I did. This is one of the only surviving copies. You can keep it, if you want. It's yours, after all."

Koko stared at it, remembering. This book was the reason Kiriko had missed her train. This book was the reason she hadn't been with her family when they died. This book had saved her life…and ended it.

She didn't tell Nani. Didn't want to make her feel bad.

Back in the present, Koko flipped through the pages. She didn't often indulge in sedentary hobbies, but the book had since been read in its entirety several times in the last few years. The story of Lin's complicated life had been told by her nephew in a respectful but balanced way, showing the good alongside the bad. If nothing else, it was a cautionary tale not to let bitterness taint relationships.

The front door opened and closed before she could make up her mind what to do with her time. Hurried footsteps were followed by the shower being turned on, but then turned off less than a minute later.

Nani appeared in the doorway wearing her bathrobe. "Did you use all the hot water again?"

"Uh…" Koko shrugged. "Sorry."

"Great. Guess I'll just take a cold shower before I spend another two weeks on the road."

Nani was rarely in such a bad mood. She knew very well that all she had to do was ask Koko to heat up the water in the tank. It seemed like she was looking for an excuse to complain.

"What's going on? You literally just got back," Koko said, confused. "You've been gone for over a month, and now you're leaving again?"

Nani pinched the bridge of her nose. "I have to go to Dao-Shu. Apparently, Mara is pregnant. And completely freaking out. Not that I can blame her. She sent a couple of frantic messages but I only just got them."

"Oh." Now Koko understood why Nani was so upset. Saph and Jade's birth had been nothing short of traumatic for everyone involved, but Mara especially. "Wait– I thought you said she wouldn't be able to have any more kids?"

"That's what the doctor thought. I guess he was wrong."

"Is she going to have it?"

"She won't have a choice, I'm afraid. Based on what she said, she's probably around five months along by now. Ending a pregnancy at that stage is a lot more complicated than taking some pills, and Dao-Shu doesn't exactly have advanced medical facilities. Or any medical facilities, for that matter. But I'm going anyway, just to see how she's doing and try to calm her down." Nani rubbed her hands down her face. "Do you…want to come?"

This was far from the first time she'd asked that question in the last few years. Koko's answer was always the same.

"I think it's a bad idea. I'm sure she's super stressed out. I'm the last person she'll want to see."

"C'mon, don't tell me you're afraid of tiny little five-foot-two Mara? What are you so worried about? Is it Saph? Are you worried she won't remember you? Because it's okay to feel that way. She was very young and it's been more than a decade since she's seen you. But I'm sure that once you spend some time together, it'll all come back. For both of you."

"Spend time doing what? Mara's not going to let me teach her firebending, and frankly, I'm not even sure I should. I know you agree with me. We've always said it's better to wait until Mara and Jojin are willing to relocate somewhere safer, away from the blue sages, before Saph learns how to fight."

Nani sighed and came into the room to perch on the edge of the bed. "You're right. But with Mara expecting, it's unlikely that they're going to leave Dao-Shu anytime soon. And I was–" She made frustrated noise and held up her fingers with a tiny space between them. "I was this close to convincing them to go to Jupa."

"I don't see how that has anything to do with me. I'm not afraid of Mara, but I still have no desire to go all the way there and deal with her." And look into Saph's eyes, knowing she's not the remnant of Korra that I wanted her to be. She'd probably be scared of me with this tattoo.

Not that Koko was going to voice those thoughts to Nani.

"Look at it this way: Mara might not be thrilled to see you, but with a baby on the way, she's probably really tired and worried and may actually appreciate having someone around to keep an eye on Saph. I can't stay long on this visit. I have a few other patients due in the next month or so. Maybe you could stay and help out until I get back when the baby's due date is closer?"

That suggestion was wholly unappealing to Koko. Play house for weeks or possibly months? Glorified babysitting? And yet…she did worry about that little family living in Dao-Shu. It wasn't the worst place, but several blue sages lived there and swiftly dealt with anyone who used bending to fight, even if just for training.

"Please? I'm exhausted. I wouldn't mind the company on the way there. We've barely seen each other in months. You don't have to stay if you don't want to. And if by some miracle I can convince them to leave Dao-Shu, you'd be a great help getting them safely to Jupa."

"...Alright," Koko said slowly. Reluctantly. She knew Nani had never quite recovered from Kiriko's death, and it was hard to say no when she made a heartfelt request. "I guess I'll go."

"What is she doing here?" Mara demanded. She was talking to Nani but her cold glare was directed at Koko. Both hands protectively clutched the faint swell of her belly.

The four of them stood in the kitchen, though Koko kept her distance and stuck close to the back door. Jojin seemed keen to stay out of it.

"Mara, please," Nani said in her most gentle, soothing voice. "I know her appearance takes a bit of getting used to, but–"

"No. I don't want her here. I don't want her around Saph. I don't care how 'good' you say she is. She's trouble. Why did you let her come?"

Nani suddenly shifted into a much sterner attitude. "I don't have to explain my decisions to you. I asked her to come. For me. And for you. She can help you. Stop being petty."

The scolding didn't seem to have the desired effect, unfortunately. Mara drew herself up, which was impressive considering how petite she was. "I'm not a child, so don't talk to me like one. Don't I get a say about who gets to be around my daughter?

At that point, Koko had heard enough and exited the house through the back door. There was an alley there that concealed her from prying eyes. Nani had tried to convince her to cover her tattoo for the visit but Koko refused. She didn't want Mara to think she was trying to hide who she was.

As hard as it was to admit, the open animosity stung. Mara had always had a bit of an issue with her, which at the time was easy to write off as adolescent irrationality. Now she was well into her twenties and the problem was much more complicated.

"Where's Saph?" Nani had asked when they first arrived.

"In the swamp," Jojin said. "We don't really like her going out there alone, but I guess it's better than her being around the blue sages here in town."

Koko wasn't usually one to behave impulsively, but at the moment she was frustrated to have come all this way for nothing. While the thought of meeting Saph face-to-face made her stomach churn, she did at least want to see her from a distance.

The decision was made in a split second, then she was striding resolutely out of the alley and onto the street. People got out of her way quickly. There was fear in their eyes. Telling the residents that she was not their enemy wasn't an option, unfortunately. She had to play the part.

The edge of the swamp was only a few hundred feet from where the westernmost buildings of Dao-Shu sat. There was no path but Koko was a good tracker. More than a decade of fending for herself in the wilderness had seen to that. She could easily pick out where Saph had walked on the soft ground.

Once past the treeline, she became more cautious. It wouldn't do to be seen. Fortunately, stealth was one of the skills necessary for successful hunting. With any luck, her target would never know she was there.

A voice up ahead made her slow and crouch behind a large root.

"Hiyah! Hyugh! Take that!" Water splashed and sizzled into steam. "Let the Avatar go or I'll beat you up!"

Koko arched an eyebrow—the closest she ever came to expressing amusement. Even the emotion itself was weak; holding onto it was like trying to catch smoke. How long since she'd last glimpsed it?

She crept a little closer. Loose black hair whipping around was the first thing she saw. Clothes of dark greens and browns blended in with the environment, but when the girl turned, bright blue eyes stood out sharply.

Saph. That's definitely her. She looks like Mara.

In fact, she looked eerily like the girl Kiriko had known in Zaofu—the too-young mother—except that this girl was taller. Puberty had already begun to change her body into that of a young woman's, but childhood still lingered in the baby fat on her cheeks and the innocence with which she played.

Soon, the 'fight' was won. Saph successfully vanquished the villain—formerly a dead stump—and began speaking to the imaginary figure that stood before her.

"Ms. Avatar, I've come to rescue you. The world changed a lot since you went missing and there are lots of bad people that you need to fight now."

Koko felt a sudden ache in her chest. Saph was 'rescuing' Korra. The memory of how that naive hope felt was still strong in her mind.

"What?" Saph said. "You're not the Avatar?" Long pause. "Oh, great! You're telling me I gotta fight someone else? Ugh. Alright, alright. C'mon, Yin."

She began to walk a little further into the swamp. Koko followed quietly—a silent shadow.

"I can't believe the new Avatar is the same age as us, Yin! Isn't that cool? We could be their sidekick or something."

Koko furrowed her brows. Nani had told her about Saph's imaginary friend, years ago, but had failed to mention that she was still holding on to that as a thirteen-year-old. Was that normal? Did this kid not have any actual friends?

The game went on for another twenty or thirty minutes, with Saph frequently running into new 'enemies' to fight. Her firebending was quite basic—mostly punches with a few odd-looking forms thrown in. It was hard to properly analyze them from a distance. The heavy, humid air of the swamp wasn't doing Saph any favors; Koko herself would struggle to use her full strength here.

All the while, playful little Spirits darted in and out. Saph never attacked them. Occasionally, she would speak to them, though they didn't usually respond.

When she'd had enough, panting and sweating, she took a long drink from a waterskin hanging from a leather strap and headed back to Dao-Shu. The path was obviously familiar to her, judging by the way she expertly navigated every root and vine. There was a certain grace to her movements—not like a seasoned fighter but the way an animal moved through its territory. The town was where she lived, but the swamp was her home.

Koko sat down and leaned back against a thick vine, wondering what she'd been hoping for by spying. Knowing that Saph was a happy, healthy kid offered a certain gratification, she supposed. Nani had reported as much, but seeing it first-hand was better.

But this thing with Yin… It made Koko uneasy. How serious was it? Several times, Saph had paused her game and broken character, yet still spoke to Yin as if she were a real person standing there.

Those thoughts circled Koko's mind until she made it back to Dao-Shu, though she didn't go back inside Mara and Jojin's house. Instead, she waited in the alley. Nani eventually found her.

"There you are. Where did you run off to?"

"The swamp."

"Oh? You saw Saph?"

"Yeah, but she didn't see me."

Nani sighed and sat down next to her. She seemed exhausted. "I'm sorry I asked you to come here. Mara isn't happy."

"No shit."

"She usually listens to me, but when she makes up her mind about something, there's no changing it. I've never known anyone who can dig their heels in like she can. And that's saying something, because I've known a lot of Beifongs." A short, sharp laugh escaped. "I'm sure the pregnancy hormones aren't helping. But… The fact is that she's right. She's grown up now and Saph is her daughter. And she doesn't want you around her. I'm sorry."

Koko was barely listening. Her mind was full of other things. "I want to talk to you about something."

"What is it?"

"Does Saph know about Jade?"

"No," Nani said with a heavy sigh. "And while Mara won't admit it, I'm pretty sure that's one of the reasons she doesn't want you around. She's worried you'll tell her."

"I probably would. She deserves to know."

"I agree with you. I really do. But that's not our decision."

Koko could only shake her head, baffled. "They'll have to tell her one day. The older she gets, the angrier she'll be that it was kept from her. I get that it's hard for Mara and Jojin, and they would rather not deal with it, but…" But what? This wasn't her battle and she didn't know why she even cared.

They were both quiet for a few seconds until Nani spoke again.

"So…what did you think of Saph?"

"She's strong," Koko mused. "She's got fire in her heart."

"I thought you'd feel that way." In the dim light, where the late afternoon sun didn't quite reach into the alley, Nani beamed. "Oh, I just love her to bits. I wish she could come live in Oldtown. That would be perfect."

"What's the deal with 'Yin'?" Koko asked without segue. "Why hasn't she grown out of that?"

Nani seemed surprised by the question. "Uh…" She scratched the side of her nose. "Well. I dunno… I think she's just lonely. She doesn't have any friends. She's socially awkward, plus Mara doesn't like her to wander around the town."

"I can't help but wonder…"

"What?" Nani prodded.

"What if– Well, think about it: She grew up in the swamp. That place has a reputation. What if Yin is…real? I mean, not real. Don't look at me like that. I'm just saying maybe there's a connection. Maybe Yin is really a Spirit. Or a…remnant."

"Of what?"

"I don't know. But maybe you guys should think about it. What if she sticks around once childhood is over? I get that Saph is lonely, but this seems like an extreme reaction."

After a long pause, Nani nodded. "I'll talk to Mara and Jojin about it. Jojin's more open-minded about these things, but Mara is resistant to change. I'll try to nudge them in the direction of…I don't know. Something. Maybe someone who's knowledgeable about spiritual things." She playfully elbowed Koko's side. "Look at you, all caring. I knew you'd feel that bond you two used to have."

And that was what unnerved Koko. There was no reason for it to be there, and yet…there it certainly was.

Two Years Later

The feeling of the elevator rising always made Koko's stomach feel weird. Like many things in Oldtown, it was a poignant reminder of the past, but it felt somehow wrong—like someone had taken chunks of both Republic City and Zaofu and tried to recreate a misshapen hybrid of them underground. The city felt like a graveyard, haunted by the remains of a world that no longer existed.

Of course, she'd ridden the elevator so many times in the last few years that the sensation was muted. It dinged at the top, the doors opened, and she was once again in Zhu Li's circular office that overlooked the city.

"Ah, Koko. Thank you for coming." She seemed to be in a brisk mood today, rubbing her hands together as she stalked over in her smart business suit that was surely tailored. "I have an important task for you."

"I live to serve," Koko said wryly, unable to escape from the irony of what her life had been and was now. Sure, working for the Council was satisfying, in a way. She'd done a lot of good in the last few years. But it was also stifling. She sometimes felt like a dog on a leash—once rabid, now tamed.

Zhu Li gave her a withering look over the delicate glasses perched on her nose. She was adept at picking up subtle things in tone and body language. "I hope you'll take this seriously. It may be the key to solving the chi plague crisis."

That was all Koko needed to start getting a bad feeling about what was coming next.

"One of our scouts just got back and reported that there's someone studying it," Zhu Li continued. "She's an air nomad master, approximately fifty years old, and otherwise fits Jinora's description. I don't know if it's her—the scout said she was reluctant to part with any personal information—but I know you'll be able to recognize her. She's currently working on the outskirts of Republic City–"

"No."

"Excuse me?"

"No. I'm not going there."

Zhu Li crossed her arms in a dignified way. "And why not?"

"It's too dangerous. As I understand it, there's radiation there from the explosion, and it's somehow linked to the chi plague. Tell me: Does this person-who-might-be-Jinora still have her bending? Hm?"

"You're correct. She does not. But–"

"Not interested. Give me something else."

Rather than answer right away, Zhu Li sighed and walked to her desk before returning with a piece of paper. "The report says she's been working closely with another airbender who still has his bending—possibly Akiro. She's confident that the effect is localized to a perimeter within the city. You can safely locate her outpost without getting that close."

"You don't know that for sure. It's just a bunch of assumptions."

"Koko. Listen to me. This is very important. I can't trust anyone else with this mission. If it really is Jinora, you're the only person she'll trust enough to share her research with. Are you really so afraid of a risk, which has been calculated to be very small, in the face of such benefits? After everything you've been through, how can you let fear make your decisions?"

Koko stepped forward with a low growl—a reactionary remnant of her days as a blue sage. Truly, she had been little more than an animal then. It came out sometimes, in moments of severe frustration. How could anyone dare to provoke her like that?

Zhu Li was not intimidated in the slightest. "It's your choice, of course. I know you don't like people telling you what to do. I would much rather you do this because you want to. Because you want the world to heal from the trauma its suffered."

What she wasn't saying stood out sharply to Koko: 'Many of those scars were caused by you, so do your part.' That was the undertone of every interaction they had. Zhu Li wasn't a sadist like Amrit had been, but she still knew how to get people do what she wanted.

The strange thing was that Koko actually respected her for it. That skill gave her power—and certainly it had gotten her far politically—yet she appeared to live a relatively simple life beyond a few small luxuries like tailored suits. She'd dedicated her life to creating this haven from the outside world, and it had largely been a success.

Koko found herself beginning to cave. "I'll think about it."

The task rolled around her head while she was out doing other things nearby—mostly just checking on some smaller settlements. Nani was heading to Dao-Shu again and Koko decided to meet up with her on the way there, despite the fact that it would be her second visit in two months.

"You know you don't have to come this time," Nani said for about the fifth time. "I can deal with Yura myself."

"I'd rather be the one to handle it." The truth was, she was invested in Saph's sessions with the woman, who was something in between a psychiatrist and a guru. Mara couldn't prevent Koko from getting first-hand reports if she was the one funding the sessions. "Is Mara cooperating?"

"Yeah," Nani said with a note of confusion in her voice. "She's fully on-board. I don't know what changed. Maybe she just wants a chance to prove that Yin has nothing to do with Jade so I'll stop pushing her."

"I have to tell you something," Koko blurted before she lost the nerve. These thoughts had been burning a hole in her brain for too long.

Nani looked at her sharply while they walked. "What?"

"I'm not so sure Yin has anything to do with Jade, after all."

"Okay…?"

"I think–" It was difficult to say aloud, and not just because she knew Nani wouldn't take it seriously. "I think Saph could be the Avatar."

After a painful moment of shocked silence, Nani scoffed. "You cannot be serious. Is that a joke? Are you making jokes now?"

"I'm serious."

"Koko. Saph is a firebender."

"I'm aware. You know who else is a firebender? The Avatar."

Nani shook her head sharply. "No, that's not how it works. Even Korra bent water first. The other elements came quickly, but she still started with her native element. That's always how it is."

"You know that for a hundred percent? You've researched every single Avatar that's ever existed?"

"Well, no. Obviously not–"

This very old suspicion was out now and there was no stopping it. "Well then, you don't know for sure. Look, I'm not just pulling this out of my ass. When Saph was born…" Koko squeezed her eyes shut. "I just– I felt something. Like something big happened that night. And then I held her and… I'm not a baby person, Nani. But Saph was special."

"Of course she was. She was a miracle. And you were grieving. Looking for something to hold on to. Some hope for the future."

She didn't want Nani to erode this theory with logic. "You don't need to try and talk sense into me, or whatever it is you think you're doing. I'm nothing if not a skeptic. But I think we need to, at the very least, consider the possibility that Yin has something to do with the Avatar. Maybe it's not Saph, but she might be able to lead me to them."

Neither were prepared for what awaited them in Dao-Shu. Nani headed to the house while Koko went a different way to speak to Yura. For this task, she covered her tattoo with concealer. It was an uncomfortable sensation but, unfortunately, necessary.

Yura's placid expression fell into a concerned frown as soon as she recognized Koko. "Have they found her?"

"What? Found who?" But even as she said it, the fine hairs on the back of her neck stood up and a chill went down her spine.

"Saph. Her parents said she never made it home after our last session."

Koko had to take a step back as her vision narrowed. Saph… Missing…

Before she was even aware of moving, she was running. Nani burst out of Mara and Jojin's house before she could get there.

"Koko!" she choked out. Her face was streaked with tears, face contorted in fear. "She's– She's gone!"

"I know. Yura told me." Okay. Okay, don't panic. Just stay calm. But her heart pounded furiously in her chest and she felt like she was going to be sick. "What did Mara and Jojin say?"

Nani could barely speak through her tears. "She went– to see Yura– five days ago– and she didn't– come home– after–"

People were beginning to stare at them so Koko ushered Nani back inside. Mara and Jojin were at the kitchen table, also crying but much calmer. Well, Mara was calm until she saw Koko, at which point she flung herself forward.

"You!" she screamed with wild eyes. "You did this! You and your blue sages are trying to take her away from me and turn her into one of you!"

The stone floor around Koko's feet became soft and reached upward to hold her in place as Mara rushed at her, crazed, and attacked with impotent fists. What she lacked in physical strength, she made up for with pure, unfettered fury. Still, Koko had no trouble subduing her after taking a few hits, none of which did any real damage.

All the while, Nani and Jojin had been trying to intervene and get Mara to listen to reason. She ignored them, practically foaming at the mouth, but once her wrists were firmly in Koko's iron grip, her rage melted into grief.

Koko let go, still unable to move her feet. Only about thirty seconds had passed since she walked through the door, but they had certainly been intense. She'd never known fear like this. Kiriko had, when Korra went missing—in fact, this felt hauntingly familiar—but Koko had never feared for another's life this way. She'd been afraid during her blue sage training, but that was different. Acceptance was easier when it was your own life. Now…she knew that Saph could be gone forever, and there might be nothing she could do about it.

Those feelings overpowered any anger she might have had at being attacked. That emotion was certainly buzzing through her, but three years of anger management sessions had paid off, fortunately for Mara.

She cares more about her kid than her fear of me, I'll give her that.

It wasn't easy to think well of a woman who had, at best, been wary of her and, at worst, hated and feared her, but there was a grudging respect lurking somewhere in the back of Koko's mind.

While Jojin soothed Mara, who was still distraught, a child's shrill scream started up.

"I'll get her," Nani said as she left the room.

Koko took a deep breath and tried to push away the worry that threatened to block out everything else. "Tell me what happened," she asked, directing the question at Jojin. "I'll do everything I can to find Saph and bring her back safely."

"She went to see Yura," he said in a strained voice. "That was five days ago. In the morning. She was supposed to come straight home, but when she didn't, Mara went to Yura's. She said Saph had left already. So me and Mara started asking around town, but no one will talk to us. They just shrug and say they don't know anything."

"Alright. I'll see what I can find out."

Before leaving, she went into the bathroom to remove the makeup on her forehead. This place wasn't like Oldtown; here, there was just a wooden tub, a bucket to fill it, and a table with an old mirror.

The makeup came off easily with soap and water, revealing her tattoo underneath. Koko breathed a sigh of relief. She felt like herself again. A moment later, she was stalking out the back door and into the alley. People would talk if they saw a blue sage leave Mara and Jojin's house.

For the next hour, she slipped into her old persona. The fear on the faces of those she intimidated gave her no pleasure; it felt far too much like her old life. Oh-One's life. She had been so cold and callous. Indifferent to the point of cruelty.

"I'm looking for information about someone," Koko said at least a dozen times. "A teenage girl. Black hair, blue eyes. Firebender. She disappeared around this area five days ago."

Finally, a meat pie vendor caved to her pressure. "Sh– She stole from me," he stammered. "I got m-my hired man standing at the corner and he saw it happen. He was just gonna scare her and get the pie back, but she fought him. She– She did, I swear!" the terrified man added when Koko lifted a disbelieving eyebrow. "Anyway, one of– Er, one of your kind saw and snatched her right up." He said it all in a rush and cringed back as if expecting a blow.

But Koko just nodded. This info was pretty much what she'd been expecting, but she was glad to have confirmation. And at least Saph's probably not lying in a ditch somewhere… More than likely, she was at the nearest blue sage facility, a couple days' walk away. She was a young, healthy firebender; they would want to keep her. Turn her into one of them.

Back at the house, Mara was chomping at the bit when Koko told her the news. "I'm coming with you!"

"No," Koko said firmly. "You'll only get in the way."

"She's my daughter! I have a right to be involved! She needs me! She doesn't even know you!"

Jojin came over holding their younger daughter, who had calmed down, and put a hand on Mara's shoulder. "What about Lia? She needs you, too."

"He's right," Nani added in a gentle voice. "And if Koko has to go into one of the facilities, your presence there will only make her job harder and more dangerous. She has the best chance of getting Saph out safely if she's alone."

"There's something else," Koko said reluctantly. "And you're not gonna like it." Her comment was directed at all three of them, but mainly Mara. "Blue sages don't like to lose. If I bring her back here, and the one who took her recognizes her, they will take her again. She's not safe here anymore."

Mara seemed to be beyond tears now. All three of them just stared at Koko with despair in their eyes.

"What can we do?" Jojin asked in a weak voice.

"I can take her to Jupa. The Beifongs will look after her."

"No," Mara begged. Her attitude was much more plaintive than usual. She took Lia from Jojin and hugged her tightly. "You can't do that to me."

"Mara, I think it's the best option," Nani said. "Saph can't live here safely anymore. I know you're scared of traveling with Lia, but this is the perfect opportunity to go. Maybe we can even meet Koko on the way and travel together."

Mara appeared to think about it for several long seconds, staring at the ground with her fists clenched in the fabric of Lia's shirt. "I won't go until I know Saph is safe," she said finally.

The next several days were spent with a laser-focused determination in which Koko pushed back all emotion. Tolai was constantly warning her against doing that, but there was no other option. Saph had to be found. She had to be saved. Koko was going to accomplish that at any cost.

And she did.

When all was said and done and her young charge lay in a bed of pine needles under the stars, Koko finally allowed herself to feel again. She felt her hand shoving a knife into a man's heart. She felt the roar of chi and heat blasting from her forehead to kill or maim dozens. She felt the bolts of lightning leave her fingers as they sped away in the wagon. Most of all, she felt regret.

Not since regaining her memories had she caused so much carnage. She'd killed, yes, but not so many all at once. Not so callously. This was the first time in over a year that she'd used her combustion ability in an actual fight. She still had to keep the skill sharp with practice, of course. Losing it would be an insult to the suffering she'd endured.

That didn't mean she enjoyed it.

Alcohol would help vent the pressure, but that wasn't an option right now. Instead, meditation offered some temporary relief from the storm that raged in her mind. She sat there for a while after Saph knocked out, then allowed herself a few hours of shallow sleep before waking in the dark to meditate once again.

She thought a lot about their conversation the night before. Even in the dark, Saph's fear had been palpable. Koko said words that were meant to comfort but came out cold and emotionless. And then Saph was quiet while they crept through the forest. Shy, just like Nani said.

Koko made a fire in her hand and held it out to look at the prone figure next to her. Saph slept soundly. Deeply. She was curled up in a ball, using her arm as a pillow. There was a yellowing bruise across her cheek—compliments of a blue sage, no doubt. Koko brushed her thumb across it and allowed herself to feel anger. At least this anger was righteous.

They'll never touch her again. I don't care if she's the Avatar, or something else, or just a weird kid. I'll teach her how to defend herself so she doesn't have to fear them or anyone else.