The days blended together while Koko felt her body very slowly mending and regaining its old strength. She was sick to death of being taken care of and absolutely bored out of her skull.

Unconsciousness offered little relief. Sleeping too deeply would let the nightmares in, but sleeping too shallowly would slow the healing process. Not that she had much choice in the matter. Her body did what it wanted right now. When the fatigue was too great, she slipped into torturous dreams until Saph shook her awake. That was the only reason Koko had allowed her to continue sharing the tent rather than sleep alone as she preferred. The weeks of being constantly surrounded by people had made her long for solitude.

Finally, after four endless days, she managed to stand on shaky legs. She had a much-needed wash in a nearby stream—with Saph insisting on chaperoning and then proceeding to ask a thousand questions—and afterward, they joined the others at the firepit. Koko needed to sort out her hair, but the effort of washing it had taken so much out of her that trying to work though the tangles was excruciating.

Much to her surprise, Saph got up and started brushing it without saying a word.

"...What are you doing?" Koko asked.

"Braiding your hair. I can tell it hurts for you to put your arms up. Don't try to deny it, because I won't believe you."

She was right. Koko pursed her lips, irritated, though not at Saph, who in her kind innocence didn't realize how intensely personal it was for Koko to have someone in her space like that. The last person who had touched her hair was Sherabi, during those darkest days of overlapping identities and horrifying revelations.

No, Koko was mad at her own careless mistake that nearly got her killed. Mad at the world for putting her in that situation. Mad because her body was weak and might never be as strong as it once was.

But she didn't say any of that. Instead, she sat there in brooding silence and let Saph brush and braid her hair. Valen gave her something to eat but she had to choke it down, stomach twisting and churning. Every soft touch, every firm tug on her scalp, produced memories she'd worked hard to lay to rest, and emotions that were becoming increasingly harder to suppress.

When it was over, she automatically reached up to feel the result. It's…exactly how Mom used to do it. But was that really so shocking? Could it be Korra, reaching through Saph to offer comfort?

"What?" Saph asked. "Did I do it wrong?"

"...No. It's fine," Koko managed in a strained voice. She just wanted to be alone. "Thanks."

Food was necessary to heal, so she forced herself to finish eating. The others talked to each other, though half-heartedly, and kept shooting uncertain glances at her like they thought she was a bomb that could go off at any moment.

None of them get it. They all think they know what's in my head, but they don't.

Koko finished her meal and retreated back to her tent, though no amount of solitude could shut out her internal monologue.

Valen was torn as he watched Koko walk away. On the one hand, he sensed that she wanted to be alone. He was sure he'd glimpsed moisture in her eyes while Saph helped her with her hair. It was very strange. Irritation at being helpless was expected, but sadness? That worried him. If Koko was veering from weary frustration into actual depression, then he couldn't just sit by and let her fall deeper into that cycle.

And so an internal battle raged in his mind. Leave her alone? Or try—probably futilely—to get her to talk?

Right, he said to himself scornfully, because you're so good at sharing your feelings.

As if to drive that criticism home, Saph caught his eyes with a worried glance that said so much: 'Is everything okay? I think something's wrong but I don't know what it is. I'm just a kid and all of this is too much to process. Please tell me everything is going to be okay.'

Valen plastered an encouraging smile on his face for her benefit. "Why don't you two practice some more airbending today? Then in a little while, I'll teach you some of Zenya's sign language and give you another earthbending lesson. Even if you can't get it yet, it's good to learn the basics."

"Yeah, okay. C'mon, Shylo."

Satisfied, Valen snagged Zenya before she could follow them. 'Practice earthbending,' he signed. 'You and me.'

Training together had always been a bonding experience for them—something they had in common and could share without need for words—and so when she shrugged away from him, his heart broke a little. She pointed at Saph and Shylo.

He couldn't shake the feeling that this whole mess had damaged their relationship. All through that long week of worrying about her, he'd been so sure that everything would be okay if only they could be reunited. But now she was annoyed with him all the time. Belligerent.

Before, those moods had come and gone; in the last few days, they'd only been broken up by her seeking him out in the middle of the night to cry at his side, most likely after a nightmare. Then morning would come and she'd be back in her own tent, distant.

Kyori's gone. Now Zenya's pushing me away and I don't know how to ask her why.

He let her go. What else was he going to do? Force her to train with him? If she didn't want to, he didn't see how he could make her, strong as she was. Instead, he went to the other side of the clearing and trained alone for half an hour until his mind was so filled with concern for Koko's mental state that he gave up and resolved to talk to her.

Much to her annoyance, Koko barely got a half hour to herself. Valen and Saph had both been relentless the last few days, constantly checking on her. Asking her if she needed anything. Looking at her with poorly-concealed worry.

The figure that appeared in the entrance to the tent was hulking and hairy. Valen. Koko rolled over to dissuade conversation, but it didn't have the desired effect on him, unfortunately.

"Are you o–"

"I wish everyone would stop asking me that."

Normally, he retreated when shut down so bluntly. Not this time. Instead, he sat down behind her. She could feel it from the way his heat concentrated at her back, though there was no actual contact. He was always very careful about that.

"You know you don't have to keep everything bottled up, right? It's been a rough couple of weeks for all of us."

"Oh, so you're going to therapize me now? Is that it?"

"It's called 'being a friend'." He took a deep breath before saying more. Perhaps his well of patience was finally running dry. "I'm not looking for a profound connection here. If that's what you're worried about, let me clear things up. I'm going through my own stuff, things I don't want to talk about.

"But the day-to-day things?" he continued. "If we're gonna get through this and make it to Republic City, and then hopefully Oldtown, with our sanity intact, we're gonna have to communicate. We've got three teenagers to keep safe, and one of them is carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders, even if she doesn't realize it yet. So I need you at your best."

All throughout his little speech, which was mostly spoken in a flat, emotionless voice, Koko had grudgingly listened. But that last remark made her roll over with a snarl.

"My best? You want me at my best? I'm fucking trying, but no one will leave me alone long enough to actually rest and heal."

"If you think sharp words can scare me off, you've obviously forgotten that I married Kyori Beifong," Valen said, still infuriatingly calm. His hand touched his chest, the fingers idly tracing over something unseen. "You spend all day in here, completely alone. You are healing. I never would've imagined that you'd be on your feet so soon. That's great. I'm not worried at all about your physical health."

Koko couldn't agree, but his serene confidence did erode a tiny bit of her frustration. Instead of snapping at him to leave her alone, she said, "You think you have me all figured out and you want me to talk about it."

His gaze shifted outside, where Saph and Shylo were training together. Zenya was crouched near them, a silent watcher.

"Do you know what it's like to live in a cave with only one other person? Year after year? And that person doesn't speak at all? Or even make eye contact most of the time?" They seemed to be rhetorical questions. "You figure out how to communicate, even if imperfectly. I don't pretend to know everything that goes on in her head, but I like to think I'm better than the average person at reading body language." He turned back to Koko. "She's upset with me. I not sure why, exactly, but I know it's true. And I know you're upset, too, but I don't think it's with me."

Fuck, this man likes to talk. And I thought Saph and Shylo were chatty. But she knew he wasn't going to let this go. "Maybe Zenya isn't actually mad at you, either. Maybe she's just mad at the world for being so cruel." She thought the entire world was her little cave and her mountain and the forest around it, Koko continued in her head. Now she knows how much bigger and harsher it is, and she's scared and angry. "Disillusioned."

"No, I'm pretty sure she's mad at me, actually." Valen scratched his chin. Did all that unkempt facial hair itch? It seemed like it would. Why didn't he just cut it off? "But you're not."

"Such confidence," Koko retorted.

"I trust my gut," he said with a shrug. "If you don't want to tell me what's actually bothering you, that's fine. I can be patient."

"Good luck with that."

"I'll be outside if you need anything."

As much as she wanted him to leave, the sudden quiet in her tent was oppressive. She didn't want to open herself up to him, but their verbal sparring match had lifted the fog, even if only briefly. Maybe he would come back in a few hours and bother her some more. Maybe she would argue with him again and get a brief respite from her inner demons.

Too soon, in Valen's opinion, they set off northwest for the mountains. Republic City—or whatever was left of it. But they'd lingered as long as they could, and Koko insisted she was able to travel.

The few times she spoke while they plodded along undergound, her words were grouchy and biting. Most of the time, she simply walked along in silence and—as far as Valen could tell—tried her best to appear tough and not like she was in agonizing pain.

They returned to the surface to sleep that night. The wind was bitter, so he raised a crude shelter for them to huddle inside together, the ground beneath heated with a layer of lava. All they needed were some mattresses and pillows and it would actually be comfortable.

Small windows let in the sounds of nature, but Saph's whispered voice could still be heard.

"Koko…?"

"Hm?"

"Are you feeling okay?"

"I'm fine," Koko said firmly, though with more patience than when Valen asked that same question. "Trust me, I've had worse. Stop worrying."

'Trust me, I've had worse.' Her words bounced around his head maddeningly.

"How long will it take to get to Republic City?" Saph asked.

"Well, at the rate we're going, probably another week."

"Will we go back to Oldtown after?"

"That's the plan. Now be quiet and go to sleep."

Their dynamic fascinated him. In Koko's interactions with her, Valen could see echoes of Kiriko. She might think that version of her was gone forever, but he wasn't so sure. There were bits left over—little scraps of kindness and gentleness that seemed mostly reserved for one person. She had it in her to form real connections with people, despite the trauma she'd suffered. He was sure of it.

When they surfaced for lunch on the second day of travel, Koko noticed how exhausted Valen looked. She took him aside while the others were busy eating.

"Are you going to be able to keep this up?"

"Worried about me now, are you?" he said with a sarcastic smirk.

"Actually, I'm a little concerned you're going to keel over and trap us underground to suffocate.

That effectively wiped the amusement off his face. "No need to be all doom and gloom. If I get too tired, I'll open an air shaft and take a break. And I expect you to do the same. If you push yourself too hard, you're not going to heal properly."

She pressed her lips together. How was it that he knew exactly what to say to get under her skin? "You let me worry about that. Just focus on getting us to the mountains."

The absence of voices where the others were sitting made her glance over to find them staring. Shylo leaned over and whispered something to Saph, who poorly hid a laugh behind her hand. It only served to further annoy Koko and she stalked away in a huff.

What happened here? Valen wondered once Shylo took over carrying a still-unconscious Saph. They were past the mountains now, and in the valley where Republic City once stood. Shit, this is worse than anything I imagined. There's…nothing left. Nothing.

He hadn't actually expected there to be human remains after so long, but this was truly tragic. No landmarks, no ruins. Not a shred of evidence that anyone had ever lived there. Although, perhaps there was something left in the center of that horrible, raging storm.

Doubtful. The explosion would've been the strongest there. It's like everything was just vaporized. How is that possible?

They spent most of the next day walking. Saph still hadn't woken up. When a cabin and a lone figure came into view up on a hill on the far side of the storm, Koko let out a ragged breath. Relief, perhaps? Did she know that person?

But then, about thirty feet away, Valen staggered with Saph in his arms. He nearly dropped her as he fell to one knee. A debilitating sick feeling had come over him without any warning. Is this what happened to Saph?

Whatever it was, he clearly wasn't the only one affected. Zenya retched before collapsing in tears. Koko and Shylo were pale and drawn but handling it better.

"Ugh– Shit," Valen muttered. "What– What is this? I can't–"

"It's me," the mystery woman said as she hurried over, sparing a wide-eyed glance for Koko. "I'm sorry. Don't worry, it's temporary." She took a moment to feel Saph's cheeks. "How long has she been like this?"

"Since last night," Koko said. "After we got through the old train tunnel through the mountain."

"Bring her inside."

When they disappeared inside the small bedroom with Saph, Valen contented himself with getting Zenya into a quiet corner of the cabin where she could rest. And indeed, she immediately curled up at his side and appeared to fall asleep. His fingers ran through her wild hair, which desperately needed to be brushed. It knotted up so quickly and she'd been neglecting it lately. Never let him touch it.

He couldn't remember ever feeling so sick. Feverish and achy. That woman had said… What did she say? 'It's me. Don't worry, it's temporary.' She and Koko seemed to know each other. An air nomad master. Maybe a member of the family who'd lived on Air Temple Island. Avatar Aang's descendents. He couldn't remember any of their names.

The owner of the cabin emerged from the bedroom with an armful of blankets. She set them down next to Valen and knelt over Zenya's prone form, visibly curious. "Just tired, I think. There's something about her, though… She has a profound connection to her element. The chi sickness has a more potent effect on her."

Valen blinked, unsure of what to think of the unsolicited assessment. "You can tell all of that just by looking at her?"

"I've dedicated my life to studying spiritual matters." She got to her feet and smoothed the creases of her air nomad tunic. It gave her such a dignified air. A bright splash of color in a gray world. "There's another bed. She can rest there, if you like."

"So," Jinora began after returning to the cramped bedroom with two mugs of tea, one of which she gave to Koko. "You've brought me the Avatar." Her gaze drifted to Zenya in the other bed. "And the rest of the family, too, apparently."

"Not my family." Not like you mean it, anyway. "That's Saph," Koko said, pointing. "Sapphire. Mara and Jojin's daughter. Do you remember them? From Zaofu?"

"I remember," Jinora mused. A moment later, her brows furrowed with worry. "You didn't get too close to the storm, did you? Did you all still have your bending before arriving here?"

"Yeah. We stayed away from the middle."

"That's a relief. She's probably the only person who can fix this. And the only person who wouldn't have any way of getting her bending back if she lost it."

"You got too close, didn't you?"

"Mhmm." She peered at Saph with tentative hope in her eyes. "It's been years now, though it's not something you can ever really get used to. My work keeps me busy. Keeps my mind off of it. Akiro stays sometimes, when he's not running errands for me."

Akiro. Koko's memories of him were of a boy much like Shylo. He'd just gotten his tattoos. There was a ceremony in the summer, mere weeks before the comet.

Jinora put her hands on either side of Saph's head and closed her eyes. The room was eerily silent for several minutes. What were the others doing? Koko didn't really care at this point. She just sipped her tea, which was bitter but soothing. Maybe a little too soothing. The ache in her chest was keeping everything else at bay. If it faded, other things might come back.

Finally, Jinora stood up straight and turned to Koko soberly. "What happened to you, Kiriko?"

"Koko. My name is Koko now. And it's a long story. A very long story."

"I can see that." Her gaze flicked up to the tattoo. "I do know what that mark means. Nothing good."

Saph stirred and started shivering uncontrollably. Was she waking up?

"If she's being affected by the energy in the storm," Jinora explained before the question could be asked aloud, "being in here will help. I've coated the walls of my cabin with a compound made from spirit vines, among other things. It blocks a little bit of the energy. I'm sure I would've gone insane a long time ago without it."

Their conversation was interrupted when Saph began to struggle under the blankets. Her eyelids fluttered open, bleary and unfocused.

"Shh, you're fine," Jinora soothed, leaning over her with the second mug in hand.

"N-Nani?"

"Here, drink this."

When Saph resisted, Koko pushed to her feet with some difficulty. Sweet pain. "Drink it, Saph. It'll help."

Watery eyes found hers. Fortunately, the assurance seemed to be enough to get Saph to accept the medicine, though she choked and gagged the whole time.

"What– What's wrong– with me?"

"We're not sure," Jinora said. "But you're going to be okay, don't worry. You've already improved a lot."

Debatable. I guess at least she woke up. That's better than nothing.

Saph fell asleep again quickly and Koko gratefully returned to her chair.

"She should be okay with rest," Jinora said, joining Koko on the other side of the small table. "But…I'm curious as to why you brought her all the way here rather than keeping her somewhere safe until she's fully trained."

"I didn't know she was the Avatar, at the time. Not for sure." Koko ran her hands down her face. "It's hard to explain. She's– When I–" Where to even start? "I meant to come here alone. Things happened. She was determined to come with me even though she was terrified."

"Of you?"

"No." That angry night—that drunken mistake—came back with a vengeance. The fear in Saph's eyes. "No. She trusts me. She's scared of…everything else."

"Does she know she's the Avatar?"

"Yeah. Scared of that, too."

"And the others? Who are they?"

Koko wasn't used to being interrogated, except maybe by the Council, but even then rarely. In her memory, Jinora had been a much calmer, softer woman. Perhaps the world had hardened her, too. Or maybe those old memories were simply from a naive teenage perspective.

In any case, Koko trusted her more than most. And so she settled in to tell a very long story.

Koko simply couldn't help herself.

She followed Saph and Jinora up the hill, despite knowing she should just leave them be. And yet, her legs kept going. Her chest burned with the effort but should couldn't stop.

In the end, it was more than worth it.

One moment, Saph was cross-legged on the ground, and the next, she was Korra. Koko's stomach dropped. Her mouth went bone dry in an instant. Vision narrowed. Blood roared in her ears. Unsteady legs carried her forward for a few halting steps before failing.

"Mom…" she breathed, on her knees before the ghost that seemed to glide toward her. I must be dreaming.

"Kiriko." Korra's hand reached out and brushed Koko's cheek. The gentle touch felt like a warm breeze. "Look at you. My fierce girl. My Fireheart."

This was too much. Too much. She was really here. Not a dream. She was really here. But for how long?

"I– I have– so many questions," Koko found herself saying.

Korra was radiant. She looked exactly as Koko remembered her, but her whole body was made of light rather than flesh. Real, yet not.

"And they'll be answered, but not right now. Saph can't maintain this much longer." She bent down and pressed her forehead against Koko's, though it didn't feel right at all. Rather than providing comforting pressure as it once had, the feather-light touch only created a storm of emotion and threatened sensory overload. "I love you so much," Korra murmured. "More than I have words for."

It sounded too much like goodbye.

"Don't go," Koko choked out as two long-held tears rolled down her cheeks. Please don't leave me again.

"I'm always here, inside Saph. She needs your strength right now. Look after her."

"I will. I promise."

"And look after yourself, too. Don't guard your heart too closely."

There was no time to contemplate those sage words because the light faded and resolved into Saph, who staggered forward into Koko's arms, semi-conscious.

"No, please. Come back."

Saph's eyes fluttered open. "I'm right here." Confusion was etched across her face as one hand came up to brush the tear stain on Koko's cheek. "Did she talk to you?"

She doesn't remember. That's some small comfort. Koko pushed her hand away and got to her feet, dragging Saph along with her with some difficulty and no small amount of pain. She welcomed it. Physical pain made it easier to suppress the emotions and deal with them later. "Yes."

Much to Valen's relief, Zenya had recovered—more or less—by morning. She moped around but didn't seem to be suffering any more physical effects of the chi sickness, aside from the obvious.

'No bending,' she had signed morosely upon waking up.

Valen shook his head. 'Me, same. Them, same.' But he didn't know how to explain that the problem wouldn't go away until they left. His only hope was that she would be encouraged by the memory of her bending coming back last time.

'No home. No rocks.' A few tears dripped down her face and she wiped them away.

His heart went out to her. They'd all been so focused on getting here safely, then with worrying about Saph, that he hadn't really spared much thought to how homesick Zenya must be.

"Is she deaf?" Jinora asked after watching their brief conversation.

"No, but she might as well be. She can't talk or understand speech. I don't know why."

"Hm…" Jinora turned and reached her hand forward, but Zenya flinched and ran off.

"She usually doesn't like being touched."

"It's okay. I was just curious if it's physical or spiritual. But I wouldn't worry. She seems healthy, otherwise."

"Do you think–" He swallowed hard, unsure if he wanted a professional opinion on this. Jinora might not give him an answer he liked. "Is it my fault that she's like this? Did I stunt her growth by raising her alone?"

"Did you talk to her when she was a baby?"

"Yeah, of course. All the time. I still do sometimes, just to hear my own voice. Better than silence."

"Don't blame yourself, then. It's probably just the way she's wired."

Valen let his shoulders slump with relief. "Do you think she'll ever be…" he trailed off. He didn't want to say 'normal'. What was normal? She was special. Different. She was Zenya. He searched his mind for a more apt word. "Independent?"

"Well, she obviously knows at least a few words of the sign language you created for her. I'll bet she could learn more with someone who's fluent and trained in teaching deaf children. Koko told me about Oldtown. Maybe there's someone there who could help."

The days passed and, although Koko didn't exactly get used to her bending being out of reach, she did eventually stop thinking about it constantly. Instead, she thought about how the healing process seemed to have plateaued. And how much she wanted to leave this awful place.

Her choices were to leave now and spend weeks walking back to Oldtown…or wait until Akiro came back with Jinora's bison.

"It could be days or weeks," Jinora had said. "I'm sorry, that's the best I can do. But he'll be happy to give you a lift if you want to wait."

And so Koko waited because it was the safest option. She was…so tired. Walking usually helped her decompress and even relax. Clear her mind. But walking with three teenagers, one of whom needed to be protected at all costs, was anything but relaxing.

And then there was Valen…

Jinora had assumed they were a couple, but Koko quickly disabused her of that notion. Even the thought of bonding with him platonically felt strange and foreign. She didn't know how. There wasn't a single person she cared deeply for who hadn't already been firmly tied to Kiriko. Valen had just been a crush back then. A fantasy. Nothing substantial to connect them.

Now after years of isolation, he clearly wanted a friend. Which was logical. Reasonable. But the best Koko could manage was friendly. Sometimes.

"I feel like an idiot," he grumbled that first morning. "When Jinora said she didn't have enough food for all of us, I told her I could hunt, forgetting that I can't bend."

"I'll do it," Koko said, already resigned to the task. The need to stay close to Saph battled with the need to keep her from starving. "It's easier with lightning, but I learned how to do it the old-fashioned way, too."

"I'd offer to help, but there's no way I'm leaving Zenya here, and I don't think she'll want to come along."

Koko thought he was probably right. Ever since he'd shared his concerns about Zenya, she'd paid closer attention. It really did seem like she was giving him the cold shoulder and choosing to spend most of her time with Saph.

"You'd only get in the way," she said, though it came out harsher than intended. And I want you here to look after Saph.

"Wow, thanks."

"Well? You said yourself that you're hopeless at tracking. And, no offense, but you're not exactly Mr. Lightfoot."

He cracked a smile. "Was that another joke?"

The expression was jarring; he hadn't smiled in a while. A glimpse of his old self showed through the dark bags under his eyes and all that unkempt hair, though only for a flickering moment.

"I'm leaving now. Keep an eye on Saph."

"Yes, Ma'am."

"Please."

Without earthbending training to fall back on, Valen had trouble convincing Zenya to do anything but follow Saph around.

"I do like hanging out with her," Saph said after a few days, "but I'm supposed to be meditating a lot and she just sits there and like…watches without actually watching. It's hard to focus."

"I'm sorry. I'll do something about it."

He did try.

'Practice?' he asked Zenya.

She, in turn, made a face that he interpreted as, 'Are you stupid?' Her hands followed it up with, 'No bending.'

'Forms." He tapped his arm. 'Muscles.'

'No.'

'Yes.'

'Angry!' she signed fiercely.

Alright, now we're getting somewhere. 'You, angry, no bending?'

'No!' Her hands hovered as if they could snatch the right word from the air. They began to clench as her frustration grew until, finally, she stomped away.

Koko must've witnessed the argument because she came over afterward. "What was that all about?"

"Nothing. Don't worry about it."

"She's been driving Saph up the wall."

"I know," Valen snapped, unable to offer endless patience at the moment. "Trying to help her express herself is even harder than trying to get you to talk."

Even in his bad mood, he regretted the sharp words the moment they were out of his mouth. Unsurprisingly, Koko's expression turned stony.

"You're doing a bang up job with both," she said before stalking away.

That stung. A lot. What does she know about parenting? Not a damn thing. She thinks she knows what it's like after a few weeks of being responsible for Saph and Shylo? She'd pull her hair out if she had to spend a day with Zenya, just the two of them.

Not that that would ever happen. Valen wasn't about to let Zenya wander far from him. He gave her space but stayed vigilant. In fact, he gave everyone space. Six benders with no bending. The chi sickness chafed and no one was in a particularly good mood. Even Shylo, who got along with everyone and usually let just about anything roll off his shoulders, was more brooding and sulky than before. He often disappeared for hours on end.

I hope we leave this place soon, Valen mused, staring at the ugly storm in the crater below. For one tiny, brief moment, he thought he saw a flash of something moving in there. But surely it was just his imagination, or a trick of the light. Nothing could survive in that maelstrom.

After a day of feeling like shit for what she'd said to Valen, Koko's conscience got the better of her and she found him perched atop the hill, staring at the sad remains of Air Temple Island. Saph and Jinora meditated a little ways away.

"I still can't believe it's all gone," Koko muttered. Looking at the jagged rocks in the bay was easier than seeing the ever-present storm behind them. At least there was an echo of what had once been. A grave to mourn over.

"Yeah. It's depressing. Hopefully Akiro comes back soon."

Koko nodded in agreement. "I usually feel stifled in Oldtown, but I admit I'm looking forward to hot showers and Nani's cooking."

"Could you guys be a little quieter please?" Saph called with typical teenage petulance.

Valen spared a glance for her before turning back to the sea. "So you live with Nani?" he asked in a lower voice.

"I stay at her house whenever I'm in Oldtown."

A teasing smirk pulled at the corners of his mouth. "Are you sure you two aren't a couple?"

Koko crossed her arms and glared at him, no longer in an apologizing mood. All she could think of was how hurt Nani would be if she heard him say something like that. "You know, it is possible for two people to just be good friends without there being romantic or sexual overtones."

He blinked a couple of times before responding, though he was now looking at the ocean rather than her. "Well, obviously. I didn't mean to suggest otherwise."

They both kept staring at the horizon, side by side about two feet from each other. Koko had always been hot-natured but could still feel the furnace-like heat that rippled off of him. She was used to it by now. Their travels had kept the five of them in close quarters.

And I'm going to lose my mind soon. I need my space.

At least her trips into the nearby forest to hunt gave her the solitude she craved, even if they were laced with worry that something might happen to Saph while she was gone. The memory of raw panic bubbled up—returning to Valen's empty cave, finding the eel hound tracks—and Koko furiously pushed it to the very back of her mind. Again.

"Where's Zenya?" she asked Valen to distract herself. "Thought she usually followed Saph around."

"Shylo's hanging out with her. I think she realized that Saph needs a breather. Either that, or she got bored watching them sit still for hours on end." His shoulders sagged. "I don't know what I'm doing wrong, why she's acting this way around me."

"She's just being a normal teenager, being rebellious and having an attitude now that she has friends. You just have to be firm and set clear boundaries."

"Right. I guess you'd know all about that."

He walked away and Koko could only stand there rigidly. Indignant. She hadn't meant to upset him. Guess that's what I get for trying to help, she thought bitterly.

"I hate this!" Saph complained. "It's awful without any bending. I feel so weak and helpless. I hate it here!"

Koko's shallow well of patience was beginning to run dry. Lately, they couldn't train for more than thirty minutes before Saph's attitude started coming out in full force. Koko closed her eyes, counted backwards from ten, and let out a slow breath.

"You remember how we've talked about how firebending comes from breath, not physical strength? Well, the opposite is true, too. You can't rely on chi to fuel your muscles. The toughest fight I was ever in was with a non-bender. This is a great opportunity for you to learn how to defend yourself without bending."

"I don't want to learn how to kill people with knives."

The scorn in her voice was the final straw. No amount of calming techniques were going to help Koko now. If she didn't walk away, she would say something she'd later regret.

"Where are you going?" Saph called after her.

"To do something else until you're ready to take your training seriously."

Fortunately, Saph had the good sense not to follow. Unfortunately, Koko couldn't seem to escape from adolescent angst. Zenya barreled out of the cabin and nearly knocked her down.

"Hey! Be careful." On impulse, she snagged Zenya's wrist before she could run off—not roughly, but enough to make her pause after pulling her hand away.

Koko was unsure why she'd done it. Maybe it was because Zenya was clearly headed for the hill where Saph was. She needs to focus on her training and not be distracted.

Words were useless. Even the sign language Valen had come up with was beyond Koko's knowledge. And so she fell back on the simplest thing she knew—shaking her head 'no'.

Zenya had no reaction to the gesture. Maybe she didn't understand. What hand signals did they use for yes and no? Koko pointed up the hill and shook her head again. There was really no telling if she understood or not, but if she did, she ignored the command. A moment later, she was gone.

What a brat. No wonder Valen's frustrated. Kind of his own fault, though. She's obviously used to doing whatever she wants.

While trying to find Zenya, Valen heard a soft sniffling around the corner of the cabin. Was that her? Had something upset her?

But he found Saph instead, sat against the wall with her arms hugging her knees, face buried.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah," she said without lifting her face.

Valen was unsure what to do. Did she want to be alone? Simply walking away felt too callous. He took a chance and sat down against the wall a few feet from her.

"Have you seen Zenya?" he asked to get her talking. And also because he was always concerned whenever Zenya was out of sight.

Saph sniffed and sat up. "Yeah, a little while ago. She came up the hill but I wanted to be alone so I left. I think she stayed but I'm not sure."

"Oh, okay. Do you want me to leave you alone?"

Instead of answering his question, she pulled a small stone out of her pocket and began idly turning it over in her hands. Was that the same stone Zenya had given her back in their cave?

"Do you think Korra ever felt like she was messing everything up?" Saph asked.

Ah, you poor kid. No one your age should have this burden. "I'm sure she did, but I only met her a couple times. Koko would be a better person to ask."

That was apparently the wrong thing to say. Saph's lower lip trembled and she drew in a shaky, snotty breath. "She's mad at me."

"Ah. Well, if it makes you feel any better, I'm a little mad at her."

"Why?"

Valen chuckled in spite of himself. "Because she's opinionated and critical about things she has no experience with." When Saph had no response to that, he asked, "Why is she mad at you?"

"I was frustrated. And I said something… I think maybe it hurt her feelings. But I didn't even think it was possible to do that. I know I'm sensitive, but she's not."

"I think maybe she is, but she's just really good at hiding it."

Saph's brows furrowed like she'd never considered that before. Her sweet innocence mixed with genuine reflection made Valen wonder what his life would be like if he and Zenya could talk like this. If they could have actual, real conversations.

I would be a good dad if the universe didn't make it so damn hard. I know I would.

"Do you think she's killed a lot of people?" Saph asked.

Valen blinked and pulled himself out of his thoughts. "Koko? Hm…" How do I answer that in a gentle way? She's almost certainly killed a lot of people. Many of them innocent. "I dunno. She doesn't talk much about her past."

"I've seen her kill people. First time I met her, when she was rescuing me from the blue sages, she stabbed a guy right in the heart. And then she blew up some more of them with combustionbending. And then she killed some with lightning while we were running away. And then she killed four more with just her knife, when we ran into some blue sages with a carrier. That was all in just a few days. I wonder how many it's been over her whole life."

Every word was spoken in a totally flat, emotionless voice. Valen was speechless, chilled to the bone. He'd assumed the recent kidnapping and subsequent battle had been her first exposure to the horrors of violence. This child was properly traumatized and, until this moment, had expertly hid it.

I am definitely not qualified to fix this.

"Sometimes I feel like I should be more scared of her," Saph continued. "But I'm not, and I don't know why. I guess maybe it's because I knew her when I was a baby. Before she was Koko. I don't remember, though."

"I do." He gave her an encouraging smile when she looked up at him. "Personally, I think that—deep down—she always knew you were the Avatar. Maybe she didn't know that she knew it, but something about you pulled at her, even then."

"Not me. Korra's spirit." Apparently determined to be discouraged, she asked, "If I was just a regular person, not the Avatar, would she even care at all?"

"Of course she would." He chuckled, mostly in an attempt to lighten the mood. "Even if she would rather eat rocks than admit it aloud."

Saph finally cracked a smile. "Yeah, you're right. Don't ever tell her I said this, but sometimes she kinda reminds me of my mom. My dad teases my mom, saying that she's 'emotionally constipated' and it'll all explode out of her eventually. Which it always does. Koko's like that, too. She bottles it up. Doesn't want anyone to know what she's thinking and feeling until she can't hold it in anymore. And it's always anger that ends up coming out. When my mom's like that, my dad says it's better to duck and cover until it's over."

"He sounds like a smart man."

"Except this time, Koko didn't get mad. She just walked away. So of course now I feel guilty. I'd rather just be angry. It's a lot easier."

Valen couldn't help but think about Zenya. Was it possible that her limited vocabulary actually prevented her from feeling anything but the most basic emotions? Maybe she was trying too hard to feel other things, but didn't even have a frame of reference for understanding what they were.

"Easier, maybe, but more damaging."

"So…are you still mad at her, then?"

He barked out a laugh; Saph certainly had a cheeky side.

"Don't worry, I'll get over it."

He didn't feel like explaining the complexity of his inner thoughts. The truth was, he wasn't really mad. Just frustrated. Despite the fact that he deeply resented Koko's audacity to criticize him when she had absolutely no concept of what it was like to live with Zenya, something she said had struck a nerve.

If I don't take this opportunity, with Zenya's bending gone, to show her that I'm in charge, then when am I going to do it?