Tiki watched as Marinette cleaned up the living room. "Time to meet Uncle Wang." The girl smiled to herself. Nice for the girl to be meeting up with her extended family. It was good that she had a life outside of being Ladybug. The past few days were particularly taxing on the girl, between Mr Negative and the Mime, she was worried Marinette was going to snap in half.
"Remind me again why your mom, the only one who can speak Chinese, couldn't be here when he arrived?" Tikki asked. "I feel that was a bit of an oversight on the planning."
"Her and Papa accidentally accepted an order and the delivery is going to take most of the day. Plus she thought it would be great for me to have some one on one time." Marinette explained, picking up her phone. "Plus I've been practicing, and I have my phone translator in case anything goes wrong."
"You sure?" She asked. "I feel like that might put a bit of a disconnect between you two, and aren't those kind of faulty?"
"Even faulty language is better than nothing at all. I can't just rely on a translator popping out of the blue" Marinette said. She got a call on said phone. "Hey Peter, what's up?" There was a moment of silence. "Wait, you found a translator? So quickly?" Another bout of silence. "Wow, thanks. I'll go meet them."
"That was your plan B at work?"
"You know me well, Tikki." Marinette smirked. "This is my first time meeting anyone on my mom's side of the family. She hasn't talked about much of her time in Shanghai and I want to make as great of an impression as possible, so gotta plan for every contingency to make it all go as smoothly as possible."
"Shanghai …" Tikki hadn't been there in a while, she wondered how Kun-Lun was faring with the modern world constantly changing around the hidden village. Hopefully the prodigious was still being protected.
There was a knock on the door. "That's probably them." Marinette walked down the steps, arriving at the front door. "Hello there Adri-ADRIEN!" And the girl like always sputtered backwards whenever she was upfront with the boy.
"Hey there Marinette." The boy smiled. "Peter told me you were need of a translator, and said I would be perfect for the job."
"He-he-he-you-you speak Chinese?" Marinette asked nervously as if she didn't know that already.
"Yeah. French, Chinese, English, Spanish, Italian, German, Mandarin, Japanese, Russian, and Father's going to be pushing for Portuguese later down the line." Wow. Even for a being that could universally translate all languages…that was pretty impressive.
"You're perfect." The girl said dreamily, before shaking herself back to reality. "I mean, that's perfect! Yeah, because now I'll be able to talk to my Uncle, yeah, that's what I meant…heh.."
"Glad I can help out. Think of it as my small thanks for all the delicious macaroons you bring to class." Adrian gave the smile that, in Marinette's own words, outshined the sun, moon, stars, and anything above.
"No-no problem at all there." Marinette chuckled. "I swear the class is addicted to them."
"Better than Peter's addiction to caffeine."
"True that." Say what you wanted about Annasi's holder as a hero, and Marinette had PLENTY to say, but he was an excellent friend/wingman for Marinette. Hopefully this spider won't feast on any corpses anytime soon. Or become an enemy against Iron Fist while trying to destroy Kun-Lun in a fit of jealous rage now that she was reminiscing about Shanghai. "Thank you. It means the world to me that I get a chance to talk.
"Honestly, it should be me that's grateful. Color me surprised to find your Uncle is a world class chef with a five star restaurant." Adrien grinned.
"Cooking runs in the family apparently." Marientte nodded. "Though admittedly, that's just the basis of what I know."
"I've been there. I know nothing about my father's side of the family. Just my Mom's sister and my cousin Felix in London."
"You have a cousin?" She asked.
"Twin cousin." He smiled … Tikki wasn't sure if that's how it worked with humans. "We visited him a lot when I was younger, but that was before mom.." He shook his head. "Anyways, I know how important it is to connect with family, so I'm glad I get to help you connect with yours."
Another knocking could be heard by the door before Marinette could pass out from blushing. "That's probably him right now….wish me luck." The girl took in a deep breath, and opened it, revealing a large asian man, almost as big as Marinette's father but not as tall, wearing a white neatly cleaned chef's outfit. "Hello there, uncle Wang, it's…nice to finally meet you."
"Nǐhǎo, wángshūshu." Adrian repeated for her
"Mǎlǐ nèi tè, hěn gāoxìng jiàn dào nǐ." Marientte, how nice to see you. The man turned to Adrien with a curious look, and small smirk. "Nǐ de nán péngyǒu shì shéi?" Who's this, your boyfriend?
"Ó bù, wǒ zhǐshì tā de péngyǒu. Bùguò tā zhìzuò de mǎ kǎ lóng fēicháng bàng." Oh no, I'm just her friend. She makes excellent Macaroons though.
"Wait, what did he say?"
"Míngbái le。hěngāoxìng zhīdào tāduì chúfáng de chéng de fāngshì yǒusuǒ liǎojiě." Oh, I see. Glad to know she's inherited the Cheng way of the kitchen.
"He's glad your picking up the Cheng way of the kitchen." Adrian translated, skipping over the previous line.
"Oh, well, I dabble. It's just something fun I can do for my friends. Oh, uh… here, you go." Marinette took out a bouquet of bright purple flowers. "Welcome to France, Uncle. I hope you have a wonderful stay."
"Ó, hǎo ba, wǒ shèzú. Zhè zhǐshì wǒ kěyǐ wéi wǒ de péngyǒu zuò de yīxiē yǒuqù de shìqíng. Gàn dé hǎo. Huānyíng lái dào fàguó, shūshu. Xīwàng nín zhù dé yúkuài." Adrien translated.
"rúcǐ kěàide huāduǒ。wǒhěn róngxìng néngbǎ tāmen tiānjiā dàowǒ de cài zhōng。xièxiè qiānbèi mǎlǐ nèitè." Such lovely flowers. I am honored and blessed to add them to my dish. Thank you thousand fold Marinette. The man began ripping the flowers apart.
"AGGGGH!" Marinette shrieked, turning away and ducked down. "Did I make such a bad impression already?! What did I say!? I'll never be able to talk to him again! Mom's going to be so upset-!"
"Marinette, calm down, he said he loved the flowers." Adrien knelt down and patted the girl. "He's going to add them to his soup."
"...He's…he's what?" Marinette asked.
"You're Uncle is just as much an artist as he is a chef. Whenever he makes his celestial soup, he improvies and gathers whatever ingredients he can to make it special. Your flowers in his soup are a sign of love and honor." Adrian explained.
"Wow… that's… beautiful." Marinette sniffed, hugging her Uncle. "Thank you Uncle! I'm glad my gift means so much to you."
"Dāngrán huì, nǎge jiātíng chéngyuán bù huì yīn yī fèn zhōngxīn de lǐwù ér gǎndào gāoxìng ne?" Of course it would, what family member wouldn't find the joy in a heartfelt gift?
"He's says its a heartfelt gift, of course he'd enjoy it." Adrian said. "And if his soup is just as good as your macaroons, I know for sure he's going to win the contest for sure."
"Contest?" Marinette asked.
"You're uncle is neck and neck to win the title for world's greatest chef at the competition at he beugoious hotel." Adrian answered. "They're getting the mayor and celebrities to judge, like Jagged Stone and Spider-man."
"Spider-Man …" Marinette twitched. "Is going to judge …" Oh no. "My uncle's soup…" This wasn't going to be good. "...at CHLOE'S hotel….?!" She shouted.
"Tā yě hé wǒ yīyàng xīngfèn ma?" Is she as excited as I am?
"That's…one way to put it." Adrian laughed nervously. Well if today didn't end with an akuma, Tikki would be surprised…..relieved but very surprised.
Chloe still hadn't heard from Mommy. She had to have liked the latest dress she made … right? It was very expensive and pretty. Sure, she hadn't shown up for the last year and a half and hadn't so much as given her a phone call, but she was bound to get back in contact sometime soon… right? Today was the day of that stupid cooking show contest and she got daddy to allow Spidey to be one of the judges alongside herself! She needed to look her best for both the camera and her hero!
"High quality food from across the globe, this is gonna be so Rock N' Roll!" Jagged stone shouted as he jumped on the table. Clothes were a bit tacky but the music was …relatively pleasant to listen to. Plus he was rich, so he couldn't be that bad.
"Preach it Mr Stone! Let's rock on!" Oooh, that was Spidey now!
"Spidey, over here, over here, over here!" She raised her hand to grab his attention from across the table.
"Ooh, are my ear's burning, or is that the sound of my favorite damsel in distress?" She was his FAVORITE!? "Hey there Princess, long time no swing. Trying to get on tv or are you just looking for an excuse to see me?"
"Can't it be both?" She admittedly shamelessly. Honestly, she could care less about the food…as long as it wasn't soup. Chloe HATED soup, it was just a hot bowl of dirty dishwater, not even a full meal. Now was the perfect opportunity to make sure all of Paris BACKED OFF as she claimed Spidey as her own on live tv.
"Ah, multitasking, us multi limbed arachnids are super into that." She held in a squeal. "So I got my favorite princess." YES! "My favorite music … who the heck's judge number four?"
"That would be me. Alec Cataldi." The man greeted. "A pleasure to meet you Spider-Man, mind if I have you on my show sometime?"
"Depends, can you afford my rates? I charge 10 euros for every quip, and trust me pal, those add up."
"You could always not quip." The two stared at each other, before they both bursted into laughter for some reason. Must be a celebrity inside joke. "You're a riot, oh I'd love to have you on talent or fraud."
"You know that sounds like the key to akumas, right?"
"The studio wants at least one show with the purpose of humiliating people publicly, take it up with them or the mayor." The man shrugged.
"Mayor's princess, do you have something to add?" Spidey asked her.
"I think more time with you on screens is an excellent idea." She smiled brightly. "You know, now that your here, we could head out and have some real fun."
"Sounds like a swell idea, but rep might take a nosedive if I end up ditching this gig, and I'm curious to see if Cheng cooking extends beyond macaroons."
Well the part about rep seemed understandable-wait what?! "Did you just say Cheng… as in Dupain-Chen?"
"He's my uncle." And of course this nearly flawless day was ruined with the arrival of her least favorite person in the world (still a tie between her and the American), right next to her precious Adrikens and some fat Chinese guy. "World class Master chef Wang Cheng."
"Is that…right.." Chloe grumbled. She never would have forced her daddy to make her a judge of this if it was for someone related to Dupain-Cheng! "Adrikens, Whataya are you doing here?" She chose to ignore the little annoyance in the room for the moment.
"I'm translating." The innocent boy smiled. "His French is a bit rusty."
"Jīntiān hěn gāoxìng wèi nín fèng shàng wǒ de tiān cài." The man said with some kind of japanese tone.
"He said it's a pleasure to serve you his celestial soup this day." Adrikens repeated with a smile.
"Soup…we're eating soup!?" Chloe gagged
"Yes. You are." Maritrash stated. "I suggest you suck it up since you took this job."
"Ugh, what-ever. I'll give you uncle a bad score and you can't do anything about it." She shot back.
"Well there's three other judges, and two of them are bound to have actual good taste." The baker girl crossed her arms. "I'm not counting the web head here since he hangs out with you." Why that little-!
"Ouch." Her hero chucked at Maritrash's audacious insult like it was nothing. "You wound me so dear baker girl. However, I have whiffed of your delicious treats and have craved them ever since, so I shall look forward to this most excellent dish your uncle provides. Honesty is the best policy after all … except when it comes to my life behind the mask."
"You mean like how this girl belongs in a trash can?" Chloe asked.
"Let's not get too heated now Chloe, the chef's going to feel it already in the kitchen." Her precious Adrikens told her calmly. "Why don't you wait until the soup is served to judge it?"
"But I hate soup. It's too hot, the water is so greasy, and the chunks of actual food in it are too mushy to actually enjoy." It was peasant food that poor people dumped and combined whatever they had in because they had nothing else. "Shouldn't you make real food, like sushi? Isn't that what all you people make anyways-"
"Whoa, Princessa, tone it down." Spidey held her back with a nervous chuckle. "Try not to say anything too un-pc when cameras are involved."
"Or she could just leave." Maritrash glared.
"Why would I, it's my hotel." Chloe shot back.
"Yǒu shé me bùduì?"
"Nothing's wrong sir, just a minor argument." Adrien said.
"Why can't he just learn French, he's coming to OUR country after all?" She rolled her eyes. "If he's going to fly all they way from Japan or whatever-"
"And I'll be escorting the princess to her seat, good luck Shifu Cheng." Spidey soluted as he grabbed her by the hand….he was holding her hand he was holding her hand-"Earth to Chloe, you still here?"
"Yep, here, totally fine." She got out, ignoring the heat on her face. "Just gonna go … freshen up." She excused herself.
"Sure thing. And hey, if soup's not your thing, I can always swing you by anywhere you want. I keep hearing this rumor about a magic ice cream vendor and I'm always down for that."
"Absolutely! I'd be down for that too." He was offering a dinner date! This would totally be worth slurping down horrible soup… although given that Dupain-Cheng was involved… Maybe now would be the perfect time to let that little piece of trash know her place for good, her and her annoying Japanese uncle. And all she needed to do was sacrifice one bottle of perfume for it.
Wang Cheng was excited to present his latest version of his celestial soup to the judges, and thus the world. With the lovely gift of his niece bringing so much love and care to his dish, it may be the most delicious version of his soup yet. Carefully he stirred, watching the beautiful and rich colors coalesce with one another in a nice even mixture.
The door opened, as the blonde girl from earlier showed up. "Hé, ils ont besoin de toi là-bas." … What? She just kept pointing out of the room. Was something needed? "Marinette t'attend dehors."
"Marinette is outside? Does she require something of me?" His French still wasn't the best and he wasn't sure what his niece and this girl were talking about earlier. According to Adrien, they were just having a disagreement. He walked outside of the kitchen, seeing nothing of note. "Peculiar …" Marinette's voice wasn't shouting, so she probably wasn't in danger. Was this some kind of French game? He wasn't sure what kids did for fun. According to Adrian's, marinette designed clothes and got inspiration from his modeling pic collage. If those two weren't dating, then he must really be out of touch.
He went back inside, wondering if the blonde girl could give an explanation, but found the kitchen empty. The French had the oddest customs. He didn't know how Sabine managed to survive the culture shock all these years.
Whatever the case, his soup was near completion. He hoped that Marinette's gift would give his soup that special touch of perfection so few managed to reach in their lifetime. He had a lot of stories to tell his family…his career was a rather lonely one in spite of his success.
With the last touch, he gave it a final stir. "The judges are ready for you." Adrien spoke. Well, he wouldn't have time to taste test his dish, but part of Wang doubted he'd need to. He carried the cart out to the show. "Today, I present to you all, my celestial soup, inspired by my niece, Marinette."
"Aujourd'hui, je vous présente à tous, ma soupe céleste, inspirée de ma nièce, Marinette." Adrien translated. Such a nice young man. Hopefully Marinette wouldn't waste her chance on love. That kind of connection only came every so often.
The soups were presented before the judges. The blonde girl from earlier, the boy in the….he wanted to say lobster….costume, a man with purple hair and the british flag on his shirt, and a bald man of african descent. A very colorful cast of judges, but not the most unusual people he's ever served. The strangest one was that party of green aliens. Skrulls, he thinks they were called.
"Oh boy, cette soupe a totalement l'air rock and roll! Jamais vu de bouillon violet auparavant." The man with the british accent smelled his dish in anticipation. He wasn't sure what music had to do with his dish, but if it made the man eager to taste, then he wouldn't judge.
Wang poured the four judges Bowles, before the blonde girl shoved hers away. "Pas besoin de le goûter pour connaître sa poubelle." Come now, nothing that had that much love and fortune wasn't worth trying.
"Plus pour nous alors." The African man said as he took a bite … before spitting it out. "DÉGUISEMENT!" What!? He understood that some foods weren't other people's taste, which he could accept, but he's never seen such blatant disgust from one of his dishes before
"Allez, ça ne peut pas être si mal... AHHHHH! DONC PAS ROCK N ROLL ! C'EST COMME SI MA GORGE ÉTAIT EN FEU!" The British man screamed out, putting away his dish and chugging a bottle of water viciously.
"Quelque chose ne va pas, il n'y a aucun moyen que la soupe de l'oncle puisse être aussi mauvaise que de la faire croire." Marinette defended his honor like the good girl he was.
"Qu'une seule façon de le savoir." The lobster stated with a shrug, taking a spoonful of the soup.
"Attends, spidey, je ne pense pas.." The blonde tried to tell the lobster boy something as he slurped it down.
"Tres … unique …" The lobster spoke, their stomach grumbling as their face looked green. ""Jamais goûté... quoi que ce soit d'assez... semblable." He took another sip. "Veuillez m'excuser... Je dois y aller... exploser de saveur... loin d'ici." They ran over to the bathroom, where the sounds of vomiting could be heard.
"Je ne peux pas dire qu'ils ne s'étaient pas engagés à lui accorder le bénéfice du doute." Adrien shrugged to his daughter.
"I don't understand." Wang went over and took a sip … and promptly spat it out. "What is this!? I never added anything like this to my soup." It was like someone added a bottle of hairspray into his beloved creation of love!
"Si triste, si mauvaise, devinez que cela signifie que vous perdez." The blonde girl smirked, waving her hand as a couple petals of Marinette's flowers fell off of her.
"Vous... Vous sabatagoe la soupe de mon oncle, n'est-ce pas!?" Marinette accused the girl judge… sabatage… was that the reason no one was able to stomach his celestial soup!?
"Je n'ai aucune idée de ce dont tu parles. Sa soupe était terrible, et c'est tout. Un échec pour moi." The blonde girl stated.
"Vous ne l'avez même pas goûté." Adrian pointed out.
"Sabotage ou pas, je ne mange rien d'autre aujourd'hui. C'est un échec." The African man stated. "Tu as perdu. Vous n'êtes pas le plus grand chef du monde."
"I….I lost?" He … lost…. years of dedication to his craft, earning the title of Shifu, sacrificing a personal life to his passion…. and he lost it all due to some brat. If he went back to Shanghai like this… he would be ruined. His title would be lost, and his restaurant would fail.
"Ne t'inquiète pas Oncle Wang, nous pouvons trouver un moyen de résoudre ce problèmeIt." His sweet niece tried to comfort him…but it was fruitless. His failure was already public, wasn't it? He was already ruined. Gone, dust in the wind, years of family tradition down the drain as-His soul was opened.
"Kung Food, je suis Hawkmoth."
"... Why is there a french voice within my head?" Wang muttered in Chinese, scratching his ear.
"Pourquoi est-ce que j'en reçois toujours autant de propriétaires?" The voice muttered in annoyance. "Kung Food, I am Hakwmoth." The voice restated again, this time in chinese. "Your dish was tampered and your reputation sullied, I give you the power to make a truly perfect dish out of your enemies, in return for Ladybug and Chat Noir's miraculous."
"Miraculous?" He asked with confusion.
"Attends quoi?" Adrien asked in confusion.
"Pas d'oncle, combattez-le, n'écoutez pas la voix dans votre tête!" Marinette tugged on his arm.
"Magical jewerly that grants superpowers, the earrings of Ladybug and the ring of Chat Noir. Don't let this opportunity pass you by, Shifu Kung Food, do it for your honor, for your family, for the satisfaction of seeing that blonde brat boiled alive!"
Yes …to getting his REVENGE! "I shall do it!"
"Perfect … I'm also giving you the power to speak french, if only to make this conversation easier on everyone."
"You can do that?" Kung Food asked. "If you can grant super powers, then why need jewelry that gives superpowers?"
"Long story, and the blonde girl is already running."
"Right, revenge IS a dish best served fresh out of the pot." He let the power overtake him, growing stronger, his bag of ingredients increasing, and his senses ever expanding.
"Alright … my stomach is finally … not killing me." The lobster groaned as he left the bathroom. "What did I miss?"
"My uncle got turned into an akuma thanks to your 'princess'!" Marinette shouted.
"Yes, and now you, and anyone who's eaten my food, are under my control!" Kung Food shouted, raising his hand.
He could see the judges eyes glow. "Yes, Master." They walked up, bowing.
"Excellent …" Now to grab the girl. "Now for my first order." He turned. "You will go and grab-"
"Yoink!" He felt his hat leave his body. "Got the akumatized object! I'm the priority boy now!" The lobster shouted, moving to the window as he leapt out. "Meet me on the roof or be square!"
"Impossible! He ate my soup! He should be under my control!"
"He vomited it out! If he destroys your hat, you'll lose your powers, after him!"
"Minions! Grab the bratty blonde girl! I'll filet the lobster!"
"SPIDER! I'm a spider!"
"But you're red." He stated as he threw diced spiked onions at the little pest.
"There are red spiders you know! Haven't you ever seen a spider mite?" The boy asked, avoiding the onions as he went to the stairs. "Between the misidentification and onions, I'm gonna cry."
"At least you come with your own salt." No matter who got in his way, he would make the most delicious meal ever out of that bratty girl!
As the mind controlled Alec and Jagged ran after Chloe, with Penny the manager hot on their trail, and Kung Food chasing after Spidey and the akumatized object, that just left Adrien trying to get away from Marinette. "You should go hide in the closet, I'll go try to flag down a hero." He suggested.
"But aren't closets a bad place to hide during a crisis?" She asked. "..I mean, that's what I've heard around the block."
"Well … I'm pretty sure Spidey left a mess in the bathroom." He suggested. "So unless you want to deal with that.."
"Closet sounds fine." She quickly nodded, heading to the nearest one. "Stay safe Adrien."
"Will do!" He shouted back, making his way to the stairs, looking up and down, seeing he was safe.
"You know, it's such a shame that we couldn't head to their cheese cellar before the party started." Plagg sighed. "Stinky cheese, hot soup, warm bread, what's a cat not to love?"
"Well, now it's weaponized living cheese trying to end all life." Adrien deadpanned.
"That fiend! Cheese is a delicacy meant for the enjoyment of all, not evil!" Plagg shouted seriously with the most determined expressions he's ever seen the lazy cat have. "Come on kid, let's kick his butt into ground beef!" Figured that would get him in the mood.
"Plagg, Claws Out." With a simple flicker of energy, he began jumping up. Spidey wanted to drag it to the roof, probably because he'd assume Ladybug and him would see the violence from a patrol and show up to deal with the akumatized object. Smart plan, localize the carnage in a big and obvious spot. Though if he was on the roof, then maybe he should focus on getting the minions away from Chloe… then again the miraculous cure would fix everything. Seeing Chloe so insensitive and cruel to Marinette and her uncle made Adrien feel almost dirty for standing up for her. "Now what's a chat got to do in order to get some decent service around here?"
"At the Bourgeois hotel, probably either blackmail the mayor or have a thounsand dollars on hand for tips." Ladybug came in and swung right beside him.
"Ah, M'lady, I take it you came for the culinary delights of our latest akuma?" He asked as they climbed.
"I am a bug of finer taste, and a world class chef does fit that." She answered with slight cheekiness. "Now it'll just be an easy jump to the roof and-why's everything going brown?"
"Either acid rain from carbon footprint, or the Chef is coming up with a new dish." Chat said as he saw the flood of a thick looking brown liquid coming their way. "And I think he's trying to add us for extra flavor!"
They jumped out of the way of the liquid, hugging the wall as what looked like little dumpling bots floated in the air, showing off an image of the villain as he tossed what looked like exploding tomatoes. "This hotel is reserved for the dish of the blonde brat … where she shall be the main ingredient!"
"Hey boyard doofus, I think your tomatoes are a little dry!" The sound of fighting emerged from the other end.
"Forgive me, business must be taken care of." The villain continued to fire off a bombardment of ingredients at Spidey."
"Dinner and a show." Ladybug smirked. "Really works up an appetite."
"Not really a show when we're part of the act." He shot back. "So Spidey has the object, but Kung Food's doing his best to lock us out."
"Meaning we're gonna need a surefire way in." She said. "If he's after Chloe he wouldn't leave no entrance for his minions, right?"
"Which means he left breadcrumbs for his co-chefs to follow, so we follow the mice, and we find the villain." Chat finished. "Afterwards, we can book a reservation for dinner for two. Doesn't that sound nice, M'lday?"
"Chaton, if we ever dine together, it's not going to be with Chloe and Spidey." She responded. "I would LITERALLY die before I ever double date with them."
"I'm fine with clawing away the third and fourth wheels. How else will we ever be steady?"
"Dunno, you seem like a cat that can find a way to land on his feet." Chat almost hated to say this, but his best moments with Ladybug were whenever Spidey wasn't around. When they were together, they could have normal conversations like this.
"You know me well, M'lady." Extending his pole, he sent it a long way across the hallway to the nearest elevator. "Shall we take the expressway to the VIP table?"
"Such a gentleman." She took his hand as they zipped over to the elevator, heading inside and pressing the floor to the top. "Huh… superheroes in an elevator…. I wonder if Iron man has ever been in this situation."
"Pretty sure at least Hawkeye and Daredevil have." Chat said. "No powers and all."
"Hmm … Hey, if Thor traveled in an elevator and rested his hammer down, could the elevator lift the hammer?" She asked.
"Would that count as 'lifting'? I'm sure it qualifies as carrying."
"But it would still be moving up and down, something you can't do unless your worthy." She continued. "But how can an elevator be worthy? It can't think at all."
"Great, now I'm thinking of an elevator equipped with a miraculous." Chat said. "What happens when an elevator uses cataclysm?"
Ding
Their conversation was cut short as the door opened, followed by Spidey being launched inside. "Owww … why … did it have to be … durian fruits …"
"You can take the time to expand your palate later, Spidey. Do you have the akumatized object?" Ladybug asked.
"You know, I totally did, until they started lobbing pineapples at me, and I was like, fine, let them, until I realize they were trying rip the hat into piece to let the akuma run loose, so I got paranoid, and then Jagged Stone hit me from behind with a giant salmon." He stated. "Superheroes in an elevator … do you think if Thor put his hammer down the elevator would be worthy?"
"Guess everyone has that conversation at least once." Chat chuckled. "Anyone have eyes on Chloe?"
"LET ME GO, LET ME GO YOU BALD HEADED BABY!" They watched as Chloe from one of the dumpling cameras was being dragged, tied up in sausage, to the villain as a liquid boiling from the pool area. "I'm not going to be turned into noodles or whatever you japanese people make!"
"... Did… did she REALLY just say that to a chinese man… to his face?" Ladybug's eyes twitched erratically.
"Yes … and on live television no less." Spidey muttered. "Where everyone could see it …"
"That's right, keep talking, you're bitter black heart will only make my new brat soup all the more sweeter! Hang her above the soup!" The villain ordered.
"NOOOO! The humidity will ruin my hair!" He wasn't sure if Chloe was right in the head after today. "Spidey, save me!"
"…Is it wrong that I want to undo the akuma after he adds her to the soup?" Chat noir asked out loud.
"Well then you'd have to think about the ethical implications of the Miraculous Cure bringing back the dead." Spidey replied.
"It does." Ladybug answered. "Unless they're obliterated, in which case something else happens that I didn't want to hear the implications of."
"Hey, existential dread is so not rock n roll!" Jagged Stone came swinging in, caring what looked like a large fish like a sword, smashing up the ground and causing some cracks. "Best way to fill the void is with a nice sea dish of fish stew with miraculous seasoning!"
"Only if I get to top it off with a signed album cover from you!" Spidey shouted, chaining the guy up. "Alright, lets go-"
"Eaaaat ussssss." … They turned to the cutely disturbing voices of tiny noodle bowls. "Eaaaat ussss." They jumped at the heroes' faces.
"You know, Chat's often play with their food before eating it, we're not especially picky." He chuckled as he took out his staff and began smashing the bowl, only to get mushy paste crawling over his baton. "But I'm seriously considering sending this dish back to the kitchen!"
"If we eat them we'll be put under the same mind control as everyone else!" Ladybug shouted, trying to kick away the noodles. "We need to get to Kung Food before he makes an army of these guys!"
"And you know, before he boils Chloe into stew." Spidey said, grabbing Jagged stone and rolling him into the noodles."
"It's on the list, just not the top." She answered as they ran to the door. "The object is his hat, right?"
"What chef is complete without it?" Spidey said. "But his main weapon is his bag of ingredients. Endless supply of ammo as long as it's food based."
"Then I guess we'll just have to play the role of food critic today." Chat smirked as they moved to the roof. "That's if Spidey still has the stomach to be judge after emptying his guts."
"Oh, you guys were watching the show too?" He asked.
"Yes, and I won't rip into you for exploiting your celebrity status too much seeing as how you got sick on national television by your 'princess'." Ladybug snorted. "Perfectly balanced, wouldn't you agree, Chaton?"
"Meh, he stepped in to distract the akuma, he gets a pass." Chat agreed.
"Why does everyone gang up on poor old Spidey?" And like usual, the hero took the teasing in stride.
Peter once more arrived on the roof, seeing the crazy chef cackling as he had Chloe dangling over a boiling pot. "Soon, my ultimate dish shall be completed!"
On the one hand, Chloe really…. REALLY deserved this. She was just mean in general, she got him sick, sabotaged a good man's reputation for no good reason, and she was really… REALLY… he hesitated to say racist, but it was bordering on that line. "AHHHHHHH! SPIDEY! SAVE ME!" On the other hand, good rep was good rep, and if Spidey was going to salvage anything out of this mess, playing nice with her was the only option.
"Don't worry darling, just gotta tango with the chef, offer my personal advice on his dish, maybe less salt?" Spidey quipped as he threw out his chain.
"NEVER! MY FOOD IS NEVER TOO SALTY! I'M ALWAYS BALANCED WITH MY FLAVORS!" The man sent out wheels of stinky cheese that were hard enough to crack holes in the wall.
"Trust me, I've smelled enough Camebert in my life to know stale cheese when I see it!" Chat noir batted away one of the blocks with his baton, sending it across the roofs. "As you say in America, home run!"
"That is how it's done!" He swung forward, ducking under a bread sword. "Oooh, I think that might be a bit too crispy."
"MY FOOD IS MADE WITH PERFECTION!" Kung Food shouted, trying to dice him.
"But not love!" Ladybug screamed. "That's one of the most important ingredients to success! And the other? A Lucky Charm!" She sent her yo-yo into the air….. and got a checking machine.
"Ooof, is that how much gourmet food costs just for a bowl of soup?" Spidey looked over the long list of numbers the paper coming out of it showed. "I'm sticking with the cheese platter."
"Don't worry, brat soup is on the house for everyone!" The villain sent out a celery knife, and cut the sausage holding Chloe over the soup.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" The rich girl yelled.
"Don't worry Princess, I'm gonna make sure blonde soup is off the menu." He swung after her. "No matter how delicious it sounds."
"Really should watch how you word that!" Chat shouted to him as the villain took out a gigantic sword made out of Pizzs, aiming it at Spidey. "Sorry, but you're going over budget, we have to work with a limit! CATACLYSM!" The cat themed hero launched forward, avoiding the sword as he swiped at the bag, Turning it to dust.
"And the bro duo save the damsel!" He shouted, pulling Chloe out of the path of a tasty death. "Make sure me and Chat get equal thanks in your future blog."
"I'll give him a smile emoji next to a hashtag on my social media page." Eh, coming from chloe, that almost sounded like a thanks.
"Seriously; what do you see in her!?" Ladybug shouted as she ducked under a swing from the pizza sword.
"I have a weakness for blondes." Blondes and red heads. Even someone like Chloe was pretty easy on the eyes once you got past the nasty outer shell…. which was admittedly hard to do in a lot of cases. He was still trying to bottle down the spider prank every time he saw her. "So, you have a master plan yet or do you need us to buy you a few more minutes?"
"No need, I think I got this." Ladybug took out the long…long….LONG piece of paper out of the machine, and dipped it into the soup, turning it brown.
"… That HAS to be part magical, right?" He asked Chat as the girl proceeded to pull Kung Food with the remaining paper once she got him in placewrapping it around his eyes.
"Oddly enough, I've seen bigger numbers for smaller meals."
"AHHHH! SOUP IN MY EYES! THE SPICES…IT BURNS!" Kung Food yelled out as Ladybug grabbed his hat, breaking it.
"No more evil doing for you akuma, time to de-evilize!" She swung the object, as the thing was purified. "Bye bye little butterfly." The man shrunk down, reverting back into Marinette's uncle. "Miraculous Ladybug!" And cue the stock footage that fixed everything. If this was animated, that must've saved people a few hundred bucks.
"This might be my New Yorker side coming out, but I think I'll stick with pizza next time I go out." Spidey said.
"Sure it hurts to try new food, but make sure you're not close minded about expanding your palet." Chat grinned.
"Wǒ zuòle shénme…wǒ yǐjīng fènnùle." The man said in Chinese.
"It's not your fault, Shifu Cheng, Hawkmoth just has a way of getting into people's heads." Chat Noir patted the man on the back. "You're not at fault here….isn't that right, Chloe?" Wow, he was used to Ladybug giving people the business. Chat's stern side was something he hasn't seen much of, if at all.
"Whatever, I still hate soup, no matter how many fancy japanese stuff he puts into-" Okay, time to nip this problem in the bud.
"Cuse' us for a moment, I need to talk to her, spider to princess." He pulled the girl to the side. "Small sidenote." Spidey said quietly. "Maybe not say super offensive things when the entire world revolves around recording and trending equality."
She blinked. "Oh….That'll just…fade after a while..right?"
"As a guy who's a living celebrity?" He brought up. "It's pretty much like a scar. It fades, but it's always there." Occasionally he saw some people bring up the Darkblade incident online, and he couldn't blame them. "And racism is something the internet NEVER takes lightly, especially with mutants and inhumans coming into prominence."
"… What racism?" She asked.
"..." Okay, so the problem wasn't that she was malicious, the problem was she was ignorant and stupid. That was slightly better…..but only slightly. "… Japan is not the same as China." He responded bluntly. "Like how the United States isn't Canada."
"It isn't?" She asked with GENUINE surprise. "I thought it was just a really large state where everyone talked funny."
…..How involved was Ms. Bustier with her teaching lessons if Chloe was THIS oblivious!? Even if Sabrina did all her homework, something had to stick in that air head of hers…just….something, anything! "It's statements like that people are going to latch onto and ridicule you for. You'll have to give up social media just to avoid the online harassment." No amount of hate would make him wish even THAT kind of cruelty on his worst enemies.
"No way, I could never live that down." She shook her head.
"Then take my advice and make it right, alright?" He patted her.
"Fine, I'll get daddy to restart the competition and have Maritrash's uncle retry."
"And you'll apologize to the man too." He crossed his arms. "Right?"
"...Do I have-"
"Yes." He nodded firmly.
She groaned. "Fiiiiine, I'll apologize."
"Atta girl. And no more sabotage, that always results in some kind of akuma trying to murder someone." He poked her nose. "And I don't wanna see this pretty face smeared all over the pavement." Small part of him did, but he wouldn't be a hero if he let that happen.
"Ye-ye-Yep, got it." The girl got out in a stuttering mess. Spidey had to admit, the girl in moments like this, where she wasn't the cliche high strung mean girl, looked pretty cute. And if she actually would go this far to apologize… albeit for his sake, then maybe she wasn't a COMPLETELY soulless monster.
…. Well mostly soulless, but there was something there. "I'm timing out. Sorry I can't catch the meal!" Chat Noir shouted, running down the building.
"Same, I have to go, because unlike some people, I have better things to do than to show off in front of a camera all day." And of course he couldn't end the day without hearing that lovely ribbing he's grown to love.
"Then I guess you're skipping out on free food melon head, more for me and princess!"
"But I hate soup.."
"It won't look like an authentic apology unless you actually try it." And getting the girl to actually suffer consequences every once in a while was always a bonus.
Marinette smiled as she watched her uncle cook, this time live in front of the camera. "Xiànzài, wǒ jiā shàng wǒ de xìngyùn fú." He stated, grinding up the flowers.
"So kind of the show to give your uncle a second chance." Adrien smiled as the two of them watched from the sidelines
"Hey, I tasted a horrid meal and got mind controlled. I want something positive out of this." Alec answered.
"Whataya talking about? I got mind controlled and got to swing around a giant fish like a sword while covered in monster noodles. That's totally rock and roll!" Jagged Stone seemed completely unphased… weird that this was the second time he's ever gotten involved with an akuma's attack… both times being due to Chloe as well. "My next song is going to be about the experience."
"And I'm all about giving people the time of day and helping others." Spidey said with a smug smirk. "Such is the life of a hero of Paris. My only regret is Chat and Ladybug couldn't join me to dine tonight. They must not have the stomachs for it after the little food fight." Oh what she wouldn't give to slap the moron right here and now. And she totally would if the cameras and Adrien weren't around. "But I guess that just means me and the princess can enjoy the moment all to ourselves, isn't that right Chloe?"
"Let's just get this over with." Chloe grumbled quietly.
"Is it a good idea for her to even judge with how she abused it last time?" Mariette whispered her frustration.
"Chloe's stubborn, but even she wouldn't try to do it a second time now that everyone has their eyes on her." Adrien reassured. Part of Marinette really doubted the girl had enough shame for that.
"Yīqiè dōu wánchéngle. Dí jīn, wǒ de péngyǒumen." Her Uncle bowed as the bowls of soup were presented before the judges again.
"I'm so famished right now I really could eat anything." Alec smiled as he took a spoonful of the celestial soup….. and his eyes seemed to sparkle in delight. "Sweetness… savoriness… dancing together in a beautiful lavender stary night… This soup is amazing! Ten outta ten, my highest marks!"
"Now this is a nice melody to drink! Rock'n roll all the way my man!" Jagged shouted, taking another sip.
"I knew it … the Chengs really are amazing food artists, drawing to life perfection … yet I am denied the simple gift of a pastry from the bakery." The annoying spider said dramatically. "Sir, your five star restaurant is truly justified."
"Xièxiènǐ，lóngxiārén. nǐde hǎoyì shì zhídé zànshǎng de." Well, he wasn't a jerk to her uncle, and he did seem to appreciate the words, so Marinette would refrain from saying anything…. For now at least. "hǎoxiǎozi ... wǒ zàiděng." He turned to Chloe.
"Ugggh, I can't believe I'm about to do this." The rich girl grumbled as she turned to her uncle. "Seefu Cheng or whatever your name is-"
"Saying whatever like that isn't going to look good." Spidey muttered right behind her.
"Agghhh." Chloe shook her head in frustration. "I… I'm… sorry for my insensitive comment…. and for sabotaging your soup…. and…. and getting you akumatized…and I…I promise to be fair with my judgement" … Chloe….
Chloe…CHOLE FREAKING Beogious… apologizing … What the actual hell? Marinette looked out of the window to see if the world was ending from another akuma event, or if Mr Negative came back for round two, or if Galactus was trying to devour the planet again. ANY of those scenarios was FAR more likely than Chloe actually acting like a decent human being!
"Xiānshēng, tā duì jīntiān de jiāoyì biǎoshì qiànyì." Adrien said.
"Yīqiè dōu bèi yuánliàngle, niánqīng rén." Uncle Wang replied with a bow.
"Well, your apology was accepted … now it's time for you to come through on it." Spidey patted the girl on the back. "Just one spoonful and you're done with it. You'll never have to eat another bowl of soup again."
Chloe grimanced, taking a sip, and swallowing. "It's …"
"Delivious?" Spidey asked. "One of the best things-"
"Out of my way!" She rushed to the bathroom, where what sounded like a repeat of Spidey and the first batch occurred within.
"...So just to be clear, that was just a regular bowl of soup?" Spidey asked her uncle.
"It was the same pot we all saw him make." Adrien clarified.
"Huh…..guess princess just doesn't have the stomach for it."
….You know what, her uncle would win the contest with the majority of votes, and Chloe suffered for what she did. Today was a win.