The Mayhem Critic
Hello, my fellow readers. I am the great James Stryker bringing you another great chapter of The Mayhem Critic. I hope you're ready to read the new chapter of The Mayhem Critic, because I am tackling Lethal Weapon 3. Is this one considered to be good or bad? Let's see what the Mayhem Critic thinks. So here it is, the new chapter of The Mayhem Critic. Enjoy.
P.S.: As before, I do not own anything involved in this story and all material belongs to their respective sources.
(The review opens with a recap of Lethal Weapon 2, as clips from the movie are seen throughout the intro. It is in the style of the 1960s Batman series)
Announcer: (Talking in the style of the 1960s Batman series) Last time, on a really awesome Lethal Weapon movie, South Africans in LA? Murtaugh gets threatened by them to back away. Joe Pesci as Leo Getz and he makes a pretty hilarious character. Love is in the air for Riggs when he falls for the lead singer of Eighth Wonder. Hans from The Mighty Ducks as the villain? He does pretty well. Rudd declares war on the police and starts killing some of the police officers, including Pt. Vasquez from Aliens and Hank Schrader from Breaking Bad. The killer of Riggs' wife is revealed and Riggs is out for blood, avenging her death and Rika's. What's this? Riggs gets shot but lives. Looks like the director wanted to keep Riggs in the series and it looks like this screenwriter wants out of this series. Will the Lethal Weapon series go on without Shane Black? Will the third entry in the series impress Lethal Weapon fans? Stay tuned! Same Lethal Weapon time, same Lethal Weapon place!
The intro ends with Sean making a face at the camera. "Are you kidding me? A Batman parody in 2018? Has this joke been done to death like a million times? Cue the intro."
(The intro starts off with a main title only opening in the style of Lethal Weapon 2)
"Good evening ladies and gentlemen. I'm Sean the Mayhem Critic, the critic that rips movies a new one. And seeing that we're continuing Lethal Weapon Month. We're taking a look at the third entry in the film series, Lethal Weapon 3. People consider this to be the worst one in the series. Well, that's weird. I thought that Lethal Weapon 4 was the worst entry in the series? Well, I mean there are good things about it. I don't know. Maybe I should give this one a second look. Okay, so in the first one, Riggs and Murtaugh went up against heroin-smuggling mercenaries. In the second one, they took on a South African diplomat who's smuggling drugs and Krugerrands. This time, Riggs and Murtaugh take on an arms dealer is providing LA street gangs special cop killer bullets.
How bad could it be? Okay, so Shane Black left the series after Lethal Weapon 2, because of creative differences between him, the producer and Richard Donner over the script for the second one. Well, at least Shane Black has The Last Boy Scout, that was released back in 1991. Don't worry, I'll get to that one soon. But anyway, let's get this review started. Let's see what went wrong with the series. This is Lethal Weapon 3.
Sean: (Narrating) Our film starts off with the opening on fire, with Sting's It's Probably Me playing. And to be honest with you, I really like this opening. I love how it is done and I enjoyed the song as well. And after this opening ends, we find our heroes Sgt. Martin Riggs and Sgt. Roger Murtaugh, once again played by Mel Gibson and Danny Glover, they're called into action when there's car in the parking lot with a bomb inside it.
Sgt. Roger Murtaugh (Played by Danny Glover): Bomb squad's on the way.
Sgt. Martin Riggs (Played by Mel Gibson): Oh, there's no bomb in there!
Sgt. Roger Murtaugh: There's a bomb in that building!
Sgt. Martin Riggs: No, there's not.
Sgt. Roger Murtaugh: No, there's a bomb in that building!
Sgt. Martin Riggs: There is not.
Sgt. Roger Murtaugh: There is a bomb in that building! You know how come I know there's a bomb in the building?
Sgt. Martin Riggs: How?
Sgt. Roger Murtaugh: Because I've got eight days to retirement and I will not make a stupid mistake.
Sgt. Martin Riggs: Look, there is no bomb in the building. I will bet vital parts of my anatomy to the fact. Now, look. Trust me. Okay?
(Riggs enters the building as Murtaugh turns and watches his partner)
Sgt. Roger Murtaugh: That's usually my first mistake.
"Riggs, listen to your partner. Sheesh." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Riggs and Murtaugh head into the building and check the parking garage for the bomb as Riggs examines the bomb and decides to cut one of the wires until they are joined by a…
(Murtaugh sees a cat on the roof of the car as the cat meows)
Sgt. Roger Murtaugh: Riggs, everybody's outside. Just me, you and this cat are dumb enough to be down here.
Sgt. Martin Riggs: Nearly a cat-tastrophe, huh? (Chuckles)
(A clip from Zombies plays, as the audience boos at Addison with Riggs' head superimposed on top of hers)
Sgt. Martin Riggs: Looks like I'm going to have to do it the old-fashioned way.
Sgt. Roger Murtaugh: Riggs, what are you thinking? What are you thinking, Riggs? Riggs?
Sgt. Martin Riggs: I'm thinking we should cut the blue wire.
"Yeah. Good choice but are you sure it's the blue wire?" Sean asked.
Sgt. Martin Riggs: You think maybe red?
"Ooh, ooh. No. Too risky. Try the blue wire. You got 8 minutes and 42 seconds. Don't blow this for the bomb squad." Sean said.
Sgt. Martin Riggs: I'm cutting the red wire, okay?
(Riggs prepares to cut the red wire)
"Wait, wait, wait!" Sean yelled.
Sgt. Martin Riggs: What? What?
"If you cut the red wire here's what's going to happen: you are going two are both going to be busted down to patrolman. Don't do anything stupid, just leave it to the professionals. That's your best bet. Just forget it and let it go…" Sean said.
Sgt. Martin Riggs: (Cuts the red wire) Snip. See? All done.
(After Riggs cuts the red wire, the timer accelerates)
Sean: (V/O) It was at that moment that Riggs and Murtaugh knew, they fucked up.
Sgt. Martin Riggs: Rog.
Sgt. Roger Murtaugh: Yeah?
Sgt. Martin Riggs: Grab the cat!
Sgt. Roger Murtaugh: Grab the cat?
(Riggs and Murtaugh run for their lives, yelling to take cover as the building explodes and collapses)
(A clip from JonTron plays)
JonTron: You fucking idiot!
Sgt. Martin Riggs: Whoops.
Sgt. Roger Murtaugh: Right. Whoops.
"Dude, you had 8 minutes. You should've waited for the bomb squad to show up, but did you? Nooo!" Sean exclaimed.
Sean: (Narrating) The next day, Riggs and Murtaugh are busted down to patrolmen after their blunder, this proves to be embarrassing for Murtaugh, who's only seven days till retirement, and the two of them start to bicker like a married couple.
Sgt. Roger Murtaugh: My fucking feet are killing me.
Sgt. Martin Riggs: Yeah, your feet are killing me too.
Sgt. Roger Murtaugh: How come my feet are killing you?
Sgt. Martin Riggs: Because I gotta listen to you bitch about them!
Sgt. Roger Murtaugh: Yeah, you rather listen to be bitch because you should've cut the red wire!
Sgt. Martin Riggs: I did cut the red wire!
(He grabs Murtaugh and finds something unusual)
Sgt. Martin Riggs: What's this?
"He's pregnant. The fuck do you think?" Sean asked.
Sgt. Roger Murtaugh: It's a girdle.
Sgt. Martin Riggs: What?
Sgt. Roger Murtaugh: Oh, God. It's a girdle!
Sgt. Martin Riggs: Does Trish know about this?
Sgt. Roger Murtaugh: It's not a woman's girdle, it's a man's girdle!
"A man's girdle? Isn't it something that women wear not men? They make girdles for women. That's weird." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Riggs notices a man jaywalking and they end up citing the guy until Riggs loses it.
Jaywalker (Played by Andrew Hill Newman): I don't have it on me, okay? I wasn't driving, okay? I was walking! What do I need a walking license now?
Sgt. Martin Riggs: (Pulls his gun out) Oh, for Chriss…. Let's just shoot him!
Sgt. Roger Murtaugh: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
Jaywalker: What is he crazy?
Sgt. Martin Riggs: Get out of the way, Rog! Let me drill him! We can make it look like suicide! Get out of the way!
Sgt. Roger Murtaugh: No! No! No! No! No! The video cameras! The video cameras!
Sgt. Martin Riggs: I don't care! I'm still going to drill him! Get out of the way!
"Well, someone got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. Either that, or he hasn't had his coffee." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) After harassing a jaywalker, Riggs and Murtaugh began to notice something fishy about the two armored car carriers when the real armored car carrier arrives. One of the imposters shoot the real carrier as Riggs goes after them and gets into a scuffle with one of the imposters while Murtaugh follows them with the real carrier, a female driver named Delores, played by Delores Hall, who you might recognize as Nurse Delores Mitchell from Diagnosis Murder.
Delores (Played by Delores Hall): (During the pursuit) Okay, now this fool picked the wrong time to mess with the wrong woman!
Sean: (Narrating) Riggs tosses one of the impersonators out from the back of the armored car, the impersonator gets away, then Riggs makes it to the front of the armored car and fights the second imposter. While Murtaugh….
Delores: (Placing her hand on Murtaugh's thigh) Relax, baby. Relax, relax baby.
Sgt. Roger Murtaugh: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Hey, keep your hands off my thigh! Keep on the wheel, my partner's in trouble!
"What the hell? Dude, no time to be hitting on a sugar momma during a pursuit, plus you're a married man. If Trish finds out, she's gonna give you the John Wayne Bobbit treatment." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Riggs buckles up and forces the armored car to brake, sending the second imposter crashing through the windshield.
Sgt. Roger Murtaugh: Boy, I'm getting too old for this shit.
I'm Too Old For This Shit Counter #5
Delores: Not for me you're not, sugar. (Smiles at Murtaugh)
"Hasn't this guy watch those scary PSA's involving seatbelts? He's lucky that he didn't get killed. Idiot!" Sean exclaimed.
(Riggs punches the second impostor out, knocking him out cold)
Sgt. Martin Riggs: Back to bed! Back to bed.
(A voiceclip from The Big Comfy Couch starts playing)
Loonette (Played by Alyson Court): (V/O) And the clown jump over the moon.
"Where did you find that old fossil?" Brian asked Sean.
Sean: (Narrating) The next morning, Riggs visits Murtaugh at his house, where see the Murtaugh family, once again played by Darlene Love, who portrays Murtaugh's wife Trish, Damon Hines who portrays Murtaugh's son Nick and Ebonie Smith who portrays Murtaugh's youngest daughter Carrie. And don't worry, I haven't forgotten about Traci Wolfe, she portrays Murtaugh's oldest daughter Rianne, who's not at the house but is busy at work. We see them getting ready for the house to be viewed by a potential buyer.
Sgt. Roger Murtaugh: (After seeing Riggs trying to light a cigarette) Hey, I thought you quit.
Sgt. Martin Riggs: I did.
Sgt. Roger Murtaugh: You'll stink up the house. You don't need to smoke.
Sgt. Martin Riggs: I'm itching to.
Sgt. Roger Murtaugh: Here. (Hands Riggs a box of dog biscuits to chew on to help him stop smoking) Chew on these.
"Really? You're just going to hand your partner a box of dog biscuits for him to eat to help him with his smoking problem? Nicorette gum works better not dog biscuits. I mean, it's not safe for a human to eat pet food. Trust me, I know." Sean said before cutting to the cutaway gag.
(Cutaway Gag)
(Sean enters the kitchen and sees his girlfriend Taylor about to feed his cat Riley some Blue Buffalo cat food)
Sean: You're about to feed my cat this?
Taylor: Yeah.
(Sean picks up the pouch of wet cat food and opens it as Riley meows at him while he picks up a spoon)
Taylor: Uh, Sean. What are you doing?
Sean: Nothing, dearest. I'm just curious to know how cat food tastes like. We've been feeding this stuff to Riley for years and I don't even know what it tastes like.
Taylor: (Sees Sean taking a spoonful of wet cat food) Sean, don't….
(Sean eats it. His eyes widen in disgust and makes a face as he runs over to the kitchen sink and vomits. The sound of Sean vomiting is heard throughout the city of Cincinnati and Blue Buffalo headquarters in Wilton, Connecticut as one of the company managers notice a disturbance)
Company Manager #1: What is it, Peterson?
Peterson: I'm not sure. I feel a disturbance.
(Cutaway Gag Ends)
Brian starts cracking up laughing from the cutaway gag. "Nice, SpongeBob reference, dude."
Sean: (Narrating) We see that the real estate agent showing the young couple Murtaugh's house is none other than Leo Getz, once again played by Joe…(Starts laughing)
"Okay, who's decision was to give Joe Pesci blonde hair in this movie? He looks ridiculous." Sean laughs.
Sean: (Narrating) Oh, boy. The amount of blonde jokes for this guy. While he's showing the couple the house, Leo starts mentioning about what happened to the house.
Leo Getz (Played by Joe Pesci): (While talking about the replaced picture frame in the living room) A drug dealer came through here with his car and crash right in and shot up the whole place.
Young Man (Played by Scott Bryce, credited as Scott M. Bryce): Anything else you want to disclose before we go on?
Leo Getz: Okay, okay. Now that you mention it, the bathroom upstairs has been completely remodeled due to unexpected bomb damage.
Sgt. Roger Murtaugh: Son of a bitch!
Sgt. Martin Riggs: Don't, don't. You'll never sell the house.
Sean: (Narrating) Riggs and Murtaugh end up in a position that scares off the buyers and Rog ends up taking his frustrations out on Leo for him mentioning the toilet bomb incident from the second film.
Leo Getz: I had to tell them everything. It's the law, okay. I mean, "Full disclosure." You must've heard of it?
Sgt. Roger Murtaugh: I'm a cop! I'm the law!
(Murtaugh pushes Leo into Riggs)
Sgt. Martin Riggs: Ow! (Pushes Leo) Get off me! What is it with you?
Leo Getz: (Throws his binder down on the floor) Hold it! Okay, okay.
Sgt. Martin Riggs: At least he didn't tell them about the nail-gun incident.
"Ah, yes. The nail-gun incident that involved two South African hit men trying to kill Murtaugh until he nailed them both." Sean said as a comedic rimshot plays.
Sean: (Narrating) Before Riggs and Murtaugh leave for work, Murtaugh grabs his gun from his safe and a kiss from Trish…
(Trish slaps Roger in the chest and grabs his bulletproof vest, handing it to him as Riggs watches)
Trish Murtaugh (Played by Darlene Love): (Forcing her husband to wear body armor) This. You wear it. You sleep in it. You eat in it. Okay? Six more days.
Sean: (Narrating) Oh, yeah. Did I mention that Murtaugh is retiring from the force?
Trish Murtaugh: And you.
Sgt. Martin Riggs: Yeah?
Trish Murtaugh: Keep an eye on him.
Sgt. Martin Riggs: Sure.
Sgt. Roger Murtaugh: (After Trish leaves) She loves me.
(Cutaway Gag)
Brian: (While cutting up fish) She loves me, she loves me not, she loves me, she loves me not, she loves me…
(Cutaway Gag Ends)
Sean: (Narrating) As Riggs and Murtaugh leave the house, they see Nick talking to his best friend Darryl, played by Bobby Wynn, and we learn that Darryl dropped out of high school and became a gang member. He tries to convince Nick to join in, but he sees Murtaugh and him and his crew leave. Meanwhile at a housing development in the desert outside of Los Angeles, we're introduced to an African-American mobster named Tyrone, played by the late Gregory Millar. He meets the foreman of the project, a guy named Jack Travis, played by English actor Stuart Wilson. Who you might recognize him from this movie.
(A clip from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III plays, showing Walker's infamous death scene, showing Walker falling into the water to his death but no splash is shown but an imploding effect)
Sean: (Narrating) That's right. For those of you who remember Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III, he played the villain Walker in the movie.
"And let me guess, he plays a villain in this one, right? He also played the villain Don Rafael Montero on The Mask of Zorro." Sean said.
Jack Travis (Played by Stuart Wilson) Hey Smitty, come here. Come here. What's wrong with you? Don't I pay you good? Don't I take care of you?
Smitty (Played by John Cenatiempo): Sure you do.
Sean: (Narrating) Travis learns about the armored car heist that Smitty, one of the armored car impersonators pulled with his associate named Billy and mentions that doing something like that would jeopardize their project.
(One of the henchmen, named Hatchett, played by Nick Chinlund, knocks Smitty down and pours concrete over him, drowning him and killing him as Tyrone watches)
Jack Travis: Now we've got a relationship we can build on.
"Well, that's gratitude for ya." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) While heading to work, Riggs and Murtaugh stop by at Rianne's new job, when Riggs notices a scene where it looks like Rianne is being held at gunpoint. Riggs intervenes, only to find out that it's a movie scene that they're shooting.
Sgt. Martin Riggs: What are you doing with a rubber gun?
"It's a prop gun just like yours. Please, for the love of God and all that is holy, please don't kill me!" Sean cried out.
Sean: (Narrating) This doesn't bode well for Mr. Spielberg, who gets mad after Riggs ruined the scene and he ends up firing Rianne. By the way, that's director Stephen Kay playing the director in this movie. He's known for directing the Sylvester Stallone movie Get Carter, Boogeyman, episodes of The Shield, Sons of Anarchy and Covert Affairs, a show that his wife Piper Perabo starred in for five seasons. Riggs goes to talk to Angry Spielberg but this guy does not know the first rule of Riggs, never get Riggs angry.
Sgt. Martin Riggs: (After the director puts his hands on him) Look, on any normal day, I'd smack you right in the mouth.
Movie Director (Played by Stephen Kay, credited as Stephen T. Kay): Oh, is that so?
Sgt. Martin Riggs: It's a normal day.
(Riggs slaps the director in the face)
Sean starts chuckling a bit. "Okay, I gotta admit, that was pretty funny. Don't you wish you could slap a movie director in the face? I have my list of directors who I want to slap in the face: like Dominique Othenin-Girard, Joe Chappelle, Joel Schumacher, Rob Zombie, Raja Gosnell, Michael Bay, M. Night Shymalan, Paul W.S. Anderson, John Moore, Roland Emmerich, Uwe Boll. Eli Roth. The list goes on."
"Dude, you want to slap Rob Zombie?" Brian asked.
"He killed off Danielle Harris in Halloween 2! He killed off Danielle Harris, that bastard." Sean said softly while cradling a photo of Danielle Harris in his arms.
"Good point. And his take on H2 wasn't so great." Brian said.
Sean: (Narrating) Riggs eventually gets Rianne re-hired with a pay raise. While at work, Riggs and Murtaugh head down to the shooting range, where they meet some of their fellow officers and a new police officer named Officer Edwards, played by Jason Rainwater, credited as Jason Meshover-Iorg. Riggs gives a demonstration, where he shows off a new bullet that is now in circulation.
(Riggs fires his pistol at Murtaugh's bulletproof vest)
Squad Member #4 (Played by Miguel A. Nunez Jr., credited as Miguel Nunez): Armor-piercing bullets?
Sgt. Martin Riggs: Yeah, cop killers. Those bullets came from the gun of a suspect we arrested yesterday.
"That's right, folks. Armored-piercing bullets that were found on the suspect Riggs and Murtaugh arrested. You know these things are dangerous." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Riggs has Billy Phelps moved to interrogation so him and Murtaugh can question him, that is until Jack Travis arrives at the building to speak with Phelps by showing the cop at the desk the credentials of an LAPD Lieutenant. While arriving to interrogate Phelps, Riggs and Murtaugh go up an elevator with a female detective who's also here to interrogate Phelps.
Sgt. Roger Murtaugh: Who are you?
Lorna Cole (Played by Rene Russo): Fly me. I'm your friendly Portugese airline.
Sgt. Martin Riggs: She's Infernal Affairs, Rog.
Sean: (Narrating) Meet Lorna Cole, a female detective who is in Internal Affairs. She's played by Rene Russo. It is revealed that Cole and Internal Affairs are taking over the Billy Phelps case. The news about Internal Affairs taking over upsets Riggs and Murtaugh as they all go to speak with Captain Murphy, played by Steve Kahan, to clear things up.
Captain Ed Murphy (Played by Steve Kahan): The Phelps case has been transferred to Internal Affairs.
Riggs and Murtaugh: Why?
Captain Ed Murphy: I can't tell you.
Herman Walters (Played by Alan Scarfe): That's classified.
Sgt. Martin Riggs; That's classified? We busted our buns busting this guy. We busted him.
Lorna Cole: Busted is right. He spent the night in county hospital.
Sgt. Roger Murtaugh: He forgot to buckle up.
Sgt. Martin Riggs: We even cited him for it.
(An audience laughs and the words "Executive Producer JEFF FRANKLIN" is shown on the screen)
Captain Ed Murphy: Look, maybe these guys can contribute something to this case?
Herman Walters: From what I've seen of their records, the only thing they contribute is mayhem and chaos.
Sgt. Martin Riggs: No, I'm chaos and he's mayhem. We're a double act.
"Uh, the only person who's Mayhem around here is me. Murtaugh is the Discount Mayhem. Just like Brett a.k.a. TearofGrace is the real Ranger and OverEnglishMan is the Discount Ranger. So you shut the hell up." Sean said, pointing at the camera.
Sean: (Narrating) Captain Murphy hands Riggs and Murtaugh their badges back, reinstating them to their positions as Sergeants. Meanwhile, Travis enters the interrogation room and confronts Billy Phelps, played by Mark Pellegrino.
Jack Travis: (After entering the interrogation room) Hi, Billy.
Billy Phelps (Played by Mark Pellegrino) Jack!
Jack Travis: (Pulls out a silenced pistol) Bye, Billy.
(Travis shoots Phelps three times, then goes to check his pulse)
Jack Travis: See you, Billy.
"Wait a minute, where's a cop when you need one? Are the cops in this movie idiots? This guy just killed a man and you didn't even notice this? Anybody gonna answer this question for me?" Sean asked.
Sean: (Narrating) Riggs, Murtaugh and Cole head down to the interrogation room to speak to Phelps but instead find Phelps dead in his seat. I guess it's time to go to the videotape when they check the video footage from the cameras and Cole reveals that there was camera installed in every interrogation room.
Sgt. Martin Riggs: This is the "police police," Captain.
Lorna Cole: Ooh. "Police police." That's very good, Riggs. Can you say that three times in a row, real fast?
Sgt. Martin Riggs: Why? Am I getting to you? Am I getting to you?
Lorna Cole: Are you trying to bait me?
Sgt. Martin Riggs: I'm a master at it.
Lorna Cole: That figures.
"Hmm. I didn't know that Riggs was a master baiter." Sean starts laughing as an audience boos him at his bad pun. "Get it? Master baiter. See, he's a master at baiting women. That's why he's called a master baiter. Boy, I am on a roll!"
Sean: (Narrating) The see the guy who murdered Phelps on camera as Captain Murphy recognizes Travis and reveals that he's an ex-cop gone rogue. Cole then dismisses Riggs and Murtaugh from their involvement with the case since the case hit a dead end. Leo arrives to tell Murtaugh….(Sean starts laughing)
"I'm sorry! I can't take Joe Pesci seriously with blonde hair. He looks like he could be with Taylor Otto and the Blondetourage from American Housewife." Sean said before we cut to a photo of Joe Pesci as Vincent LaGuardia Gambini from My Cousin Vinny but with blonde hair instead of black hair. Added in the photo is a photo of Taylor Otto from the season two episode of American Housewife called Field Day and photos of Londyn, Summit and Zola while the song Wise Guy starts playing.
Sean: (Narrating) Leo recognizes Jack Travis on the videotape after being introduced to the man for a favor.
Leo Getz: Hey, hey. We're back. We're back!
Sgt. Roger Murtaugh: Yeah. Yeah.
Leo Getz: Hey listen, listen. You think I can get a gun this time?
(A clip from American Housewife plays)
Katie Otto (Played by Katy Mixon): (Narrating) No-o-o-o-o!
Sean: (Narrating) Riggs, Murtaugh and Leo head down to the Forum where the Los Angeles Kings hockey team is playing to go apprehend Jack Travis by splitting up.
Announcer: Los Angeles penalty. Number 15. Two minutes for high-sticking.
Sean: (V/O as Riggs) I just had an idea.
Sgt. Martin Riggs: (While using the PA system to call out Travis) Mr. Jack Travis? Mr. Jack Travis, this is the LAPD. We know you're in here. We know where you are. Just stay in your seat. Don't be stupid and I'll be there to collect you and escort you out in a minute. By the way, there's a policeman at every exit, so there's no use trying to run.
"Hey, they're going to catch the guy. Looks like it's going to be a short movie after a…" Sean said.
(Travis tries to make his escape)
"Or he can just be like every other fucking idiot and just make their escape." Sean rolled his eyes.
Sean: (Narrating) Leo spots Travis and chases him out on the ice, with Riggs in pursuit. Travis shoots Leo in the arm and Riggs goes after him but ends up losing him.
Sgt. Martin Riggs: Son of a bitch!
"Okay, note to self: never play hockey with police officers." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) And then we get our Oscar-Winning performance from Joe Pesci.
Leo Getz: He thinks I don't know I'm dying. I know it.
Sgt. Roger Murtaugh: You'll be okay.
Leo Getz: I'm dying, Roger. (Coughs) I'm choking, see? This is what they do when they die, I swear.
Sgt. Roger Murtaugh: Leo, it's going to be okay.
Leo Getz: My whole body's numb! I can't feel it! I'm going to die, I know it!
Sgt. Roger Murtaugh: Leo. Leo.
Leo Getz: What?
Sgt. Roger Murtaugh: You're lying on the ice.
Leo Getz: That's why I'm cold?
Sgt. Roger Murtaugh: That's why you're cold.
Leo Getz: That's why I'm numb, huh?
Sgt. Roger Murtaugh: That's why you're numb.
"Dude, you'll be fine. You just got shot in the arm. Quit acting like a little girl, ya dumb blonde." Sean said.
"Normally, being shot in the arm isn't funny. But when you're shot in the arm and fall on the ice, then it's hilarious." Brian said, sipping his beer.
Sean: (Narrating) Riggs and Murtaugh take Leo to the hospital for a minor flesh wound on his arm but Riggs recommends that Leo should be admitted for a few days and makes up something about his wound.
Sgt. Martin Riggs: Uh, I don't think that's a good idea. You shouldn't rush this, doc. I think you should rest up, Leo. A dum-dum wound can be very serious.
Doctor (Played by Paul Hipp): What's-what's a dum-dum wound?
Sgt. Martin Riggs: A guy on the force got his thumb shot off by a dum-dum. From the shock, he was dead two days later.
Leo Getz: Dead two days later?
"Doc, you should listen to him. Dum-dum wounds are very deadly. Trust me, I know. I once had experience when I took a dum-dum wound to the head." Sean said before cutting to a photo of his girlfriend Taylor throwing a Dum-Dum sucker at Sean, instantly hitting his head. "The cotton candy-flavored ones are much lethal."
(The ending of the Dum-Dums commercial starts playing)
Sean: (Narrating) And to fuck with Leo some more, Riggs plays a prank on Leo by adding "proctology" to Leo's chart.
Sgt. Roger Murtaugh: You can't do that to Leo.
Sgt. Martin Riggs: Sure, we can.
"Uh, I think you can get arrested for something like that but I don't blame them for not dealing with the annoying blonde cockatoo." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) After dropping Leo off at the hospital, Murtaugh decides to treat Riggs with some hamburgers. So, he takes him to his friend's lunch shack to make his partner some of his monster burgers but while Murtaugh is busy fixing burgers, Riggs spots several gang members in a drug deal and decides to go in on his own to bust them.
Sgt. Roger Murtaugh: (While Riggs is about to bust some drug dealers) A little pepper. And then you massage it a little bit. Just a little bit. (Singing) Sweet, sweet meat.
Sean: (V/O) Uh, your partner is going to bust some drug dealers on his own and is about to get himself killed. I suggest you stop making burgers and go check on…
(One of the gang members in the car shoot at Riggs with an MP5K)
Sgt. Roger Murtaugh: (After hearing the gunshots) Hey, Riggs!
"Oh, so now you hear the gunshots! What kind of cop are you? A cop that's busy making burgers while his partner is getting shot at." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) The gang members escape but Riggs gets hit in the back of the head with a 2-by-4. Murtaugh checks on his partner, then orders one of the gang members who's hiding in the shack to surrender. The armed gang member fires his Mac-10 at Murtaugh. Murtaugh returns fire by firing shots through the aluminum wall of the shack. The wounded gunman crawls out from out of the shack and dies. And when Murtaugh turns the man over, he takes off his sunglasses and it is revealed to be….
Sgt. Roger Murtaugh: (After realizing that's his son's friend) Darryl?
"Uh-oh." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) That's right, folks. The man Murtaugh shot was his son's friend who joined a gang after dropping out of high school. This upsets Roger as he doesn't go home to face his family about what happened and drives away. The next day, Riggs comes across Cole and she gets pissed off at him for interfering with the Internal Affairs investigation and they have a heated argument in the men's restroom.
Sgt. Martin Riggs: Hey, I don't have to share shit with you. This is school yard rules. If you don't scratch my back, I don't throw you- -
Lorna Cole: Oh come on, Riggs. I can't do that. I can't do that even if I want to!
Sgt. Martin Riggs: Why don't you cut out with this classified bullshit?! Right now it's giving me the shits! We're cops. You're a cop. I'm a cop. We're both on the same side, right? Right? Right?
Lorna Cole: Right!
(A clip from GoldenEye starts playing)
Natalya Simonova (Played by Izabella Scorupco): Both off you, stop it! You're like boys with toys.
"Ah, the couples first fight. Please, feel free to join in." Brian said in a bad Russian accent before sipping his beer.
Sean: (Narrating) Lorna learns about the incident with Murtaugh and apologizes to Riggs and the two agree to work with each other and the look up information on the gun that Darryl had.
Lorna Cole: Mac-10 9mm semi-automatic converted to an automatic…
Sgt. Martin Riggs: Automatic with 36 rounds in the magazine on a sesame seed bun. Very illegal.
"I guess you could call it a Big Mac-10. Hold the special sauce, please." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) As they look up information on the gun, they learn that the gun was stolen from an LAPD impound lot several months back and the reason why Internal Affairs is on the case is because they have reason to believe that Jack Travis is stealing guns and ammunition from LAPD impound and selling them on the street and the black market.
Sgt. Martin Riggs: That's closer than you ever got.
Lorna Cole: Close, Riggs? Close is a lingerie shop without a front window.
"Uh, what the hell does that mean? I-I don't understand that line. I don't get it." Sean said with a puzzled look on his face. "I bet audiences who saw the line didn't even get the strange line uttered by Rene Russo? By the way, that's the line came from Russo herself. Couldn't you say something like…
Sean: (V/O as Lorna Cole) Close, Riggs? Close doesn't count.
"Or…" Sean said.
Sean: (V/O as Lorna Cole) Close, Riggs? Close only counts with horseshoes.
"But the line she said doesn't make any sense. I mean, make some sense, lady." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Riggs and Cole investigate an address that the late Billy Phelps called several times and when they enter the building, they encounter…
(Riggs and Cole encounter a Rottweiler while Jerry Goldsmith's Ave Satani from The Omen starts playing)
Sean: (Narrating) Damien Thorne's pet dog!
(The dog growls at Riggs and Cole)
Sgt. Martin Riggs: I don't get it.
Lorna Cole: You don't get what? That's a dog, it's a fucking dog.
Sgt. Martin Riggs: No, no. I don't get it. Close is a lingerie shop without a front window. I don't get that.
Lorna Cole: Riggs, later.
"I still don't know what the fuck that line meant!" Sean yelled.
Sean: (Narrating) But Riggs, being the dog lover that he is, decides to distract the dog and give him some dog biscuits that he's been chowing down to calm him from his smoking habit and tames the dog. Riggs goes in and finds a bunch of men loading a truck of stolen weapons. Riggs tries to arrest the men but ends up getting his ass handed to him and questioned by Hatchett, played by Nick Chinlund, who you might recognize him as the voice of Quan Chi from Mortal Kombat: Defenders of the Realm, Major Ellis from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Mickey Diamond from General Hospital, Bane from Young Justice, Bob Morgan from the movie Mr. Magoo, a movie so bad that it offended blind people.
Sgt. Martin Riggs: You have the right to remain silent.
Hatchett (Played by Nick Chinlund): Shut him up. Sergeant Martin Riggs. So, Sergeant Riggs, how did you find us?
Lorna Cole: Freeze! Police!
(Hatchett turns and sees Cole)
Hatchett: Oh, another one? We need a new fucking dog.
"See? I'm talking in my bad Brooklyn accent." Sean said, imitating the character Hatchett.
Sean: (Narrating) One of the henchmen points his gun at Lorna, ordering her to drop her gun and what she does next surprises Riggs.
(Lorna gets into a fight with the henchman and a few others with Riggs fighting Hatchett and another henchman)
"She's a killer martial artist." Taylor said as she cuts in on Sean's review.
"Hey!" Sean exclaimed.
Sean: (Narrating) After fighting a few of the henchman and Hatchett, Riggs and Lorna steal the truck that has some boxes of weapons and Riggs takes the dog with them as they make their escape. Later, we learn that Tyrone is the intended buy of the guns Riggs and Cole recovered and Travis convinces Tyrone to give him another chance and to get his guns and more ammo. Back at Cole's place, where Lorna patches up his wounds and they end up comparing old battle scars.
(While showing and comparing battle scars)
Sgt. Martin Riggs: That's a .38? This is a .38. That's kind of a whimpy .38. Now, this is a .38. (He takes off his shirt and shows Lorna the bullet wounds on his back) A whole family of .44s. On the back.
Sean: (V/O as Riggs) Some crazy South African diplomat shot me four times in the back and tries to declare diplomatic immunity.
Lorna Cole: (Lifts her shirt up and shows him her battle scars) Pump Action, 12 gauge.
Sgt. Martin Riggs: That must've hurt. Not too close.
Lorna Cole: Riggs, if you were that close, I'd be dead.
Sgt. Martin Riggs: I can beat that I can beat it. Look. (He unbuckles his belt)
Lorna Cole: I'll take your word for it.
"Dude, refrain from showing audiences your lethal weapon. Please, I don't want to see your bare ass again." Sean said as he covered his eyes.
Sean: (Narrating) Things start to heat up when Riggs kisses Lorna and the two of them end up making love. Looks like Riggs is going to show her his smoking gun.
(A comedic rimshot is heard)
Sean: (Narrating) The next day, Rianne arrives at Riggs' beach front mobile home, where his new Rottweiler and Sam were busy watching The Three Stooges on television. She tells Riggs that her father hasn't come home and she's worried about him. Later that night, Riggs heads out to the marina, where he finds a drunk Murtaugh. The death of Darryl has driven Murtaugh to drink and Riggs tries to snap him out of his funk and I have to say that this is a powerful scene. We see that Murtaugh feels guilty for killing his son's friend and Riggs tries to snap him out of it.
Sgt. Martin Riggs: You had no choice.
Sgt. Roger Murtaugh: It didn't happen to you, Riggs. It happened to me. It happened to me! Look, I—I killed that kid. I killed that boy. Oh, yeah, you killed a lot of people. You killed a sucking lot of people. You ever kill a baby?
Sgt. Martin Riggs: You selfish bastard! You selfish bastard! You're just thinking about yourself, god damn it! What about me, huh? We're partners. We are partners. What happens to you, happens to me. After all the shit we've been through, don't you get it?
Sgt. Roger Murtaugh: I don't care. I don't care.
Sgt. Martin Riggs: Yes, you do.
Sgt. Roger Murtaugh: I don't care!
Sgt. Martin Riggs: Yes, you do!
(Murtaugh tries to punch Riggs, but Riggs stops him and hugs him, with Murtaugh crying)
Sean: And after this emotional moment, Riggs tells Murtaugh his own problem.
Sgt. Martin Riggs: Well… I think… maybe I slept with someone that I probably shouldn't have.
Sgt. Roger Murtaugh: (Thinking that Riggs slept with his daughter) You son of a bitch!
(Murtaugh punches Riggs off the boat)
Sgt. Martin Riggs: What'd you hit me for?
Sgt. Roger Murtaugh: I hit you because you slept with Rianne.
Sgt. Martin Riggs: I did not.
Sgt. Roger Murtaugh: Yes, you did. Who did you sleep with then?
Sgt. Martin Riggs: I slept with Sergeant Cole.
Sgt. Roger Murtaugh: Sergeant Cole from traffic?
Sgt. Martin Riggs: No, not Sergeant Cole from traffic. Lorna. Sergeant Cole from traffic's her uncle.
"Wait, what?" Brian asked with a confused look on his face.
"Did Lorna mention that she has an uncle who worked in traffic? Maybe she must've mentioned it to Riggs while they were making love." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) The next day, Riggs, Murtaugh, Cole and the Murtaugh family attend Darryl's funeral and Murtaugh goes to Darryl's parents and express his condolences to them.
Sgt. Roger Murtaugh: Mrs. Smithers, ma'am? I—I—I just don't know - -
(Darryl's mother, played by Sylvia Webb White, slaps Murtaugh in the face)
Darryl's Father (Played by Danny 'Big Black' Rey, credited as Danny Big Black): You want to do something, Sergeant Murtaugh? You find the man that put the gun in my son's hand.
"Hey, I don't blame the man. I would want justice too if my son died." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Riggs, Murtaugh and Cole begin a series of raids to trace the path of Darryl's gun, starting with one of Darryl's gang buddies and Murtaugh interrogates him in his own very…
(Murtaugh grabs the gang member by the throat and points the Mac-10 at his head)
Sgt. Roger Murtaugh: Where did this gun come from, motherfucker? Huh?
Gang Member: Fuck you!
"Jesus!" Sean yelled out. "I guess you could call him the black Jack Bauer."
Sean: (Narrating) The gang member that Murtaugh interrogated leads them to Tyrone and they end up…
(As they threaten to run over Tyrone's head with the car)
Sgt. Roger Murtaugh: Do you see that fucking car? I want a name, asshole! I want a name! I want a name now!
Sgt. Martin Riggs: One!
Tyrone: Are you crazy?!
Lorna Cole: Ready?
Sgt. Roger Murtaugh: I want a name, Tyrone.
Sgt. Martin Riggs: I'd watch your hands, Cochise. That tire would rip them right off. Two!
Lorna Cole: I'm getting excited. Very excited.
Sgt. Roger Murtaugh: Your face is going to be a skidmark!
Tyrone: It's Jack Travis!
Sgt. Roger Murtaugh: That's what I wanted, baby.
(A clip from World's Dumbest Daredevils starts playing)
Nick DiPaolo: Did you just call me baby? How about I bite you with my knarled up fang?
"Jesus Christ, movie! Is that how police officers actually interrogate suspects for answers?! I mean, this interrogation is like The Sopranos-type interrogation." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Riggs, Murtaugh and Cole head down to the garage and interrogate one of Travis' associates named Hubie, he's played by stuntman/actor Pete Antico.
Sgt. Martin Riggs: Hiya, Hubie! Hey, we're looking for a friend of yours named Travis.
Hubie (Played by Pete Antico): Yeah, well I've never heard of him.
Sgt. Martin Riggs: Never heard…(Makes a buzzing noise while slapping his face) Wrong answer! Wrong answer!
Sean: (Narrating) But hey, right when they're about to question Hubie about Travis, one of the goons walk in and spot them.
Henchman #3 (Played by Paul Tuerpe): Hey! What the hell's going on here?
Henchman With Glasses Counter:
#3. Henchman #3
Sean: (Narrating) And it's about time for Lorna to show off her impressive martial arts, this time with Murtaugh getting a front row seat.
Lorna Cole: Do any of you know a Mr. Travis?
Henchman #3: Do you got a warrant?
Lorna Cole: No, I don't have any more but I can get one.
Henchman #3: Well until you do fuck off.
Lorna Cole: Now that's not a nice thing to say to a lady.
Henchman #3: Fuck you.
Lorna Cole: I don't think so.
(Lorna grabs the henchman with glasses and headbutts him, then she roundhouse kicks another henchman into the trunk of a car)
Sgt. Martin Riggs: Backspin kick. Are you okay, honey?
Lorna Cole: Just great.
"Wait, I have the appropriate music for it." Sean said as he picks up his phone and starts playing Guile's Theme from Street Fighter 2 throughout the whole scene.
Sgt. Roger Murtaugh: Riggs, there's five of them, man!
Sgt. Martin Riggs: I know.
(One of the henchman tries to punch Lorna in the face, but misses as Lorna grabs him by the crotch, making him scream in pain)
Sgt. Martin Riggs: Grabbed his clusters! (Winces)
(As the fight continues, Murtaugh joins in as one of the henchmen grabs Lorna. Murtaugh knocks the henchman out by hitting him in the back of his head as Riggs applauds)
Sgt. Martin Riggs: My girl. (Laughs)
Lorna Cole: This PMS…is murder.
Sgt. Roger Murtaugh: Yeah, I know what you mean. I've been married 25 years.
"The chair! Give him the chair!" Sean yelled.
Sean: (Narrating) Back at station, Captain Murphy is busy talking to Herman Walters, after having a conversation he comes across a guy bent down on the vehicle next to Murphy's
Captain Ed Murphy: Hey buddy, are you all right?
(Travis pulls out his gun and points it at Murphy)
Jack Travis: Two fingers, Murph.
Sean: (Narrating) Travis kidnaps Murphy as they head down to LAPD's storage facility to get more guns for him to sell on the streets and the black market by using Murphy's clearance to get into the facility. Meanwhile, Riggs, Murtaugh and Cole do more research when they learn that the criminals in the garage were ex-cons and they were all busted by Travis and that they were employed by Mesa Verde Construction, Travis' cover operation. Then, Blondie returns from the hospital and he's not too happy about hospitals when he goes into another rant about it.
Leo Getz: Well, you know what I say?
Sgt. Martin Riggs: What?
Leo Getz: They fuck you in the hospital. First they drug you, then they fuck you! And when they're done fucking you, a loan company and insurance company and fucks you some more! $10 for a fucking aspirin and it isn't even covered!
(A clip from American Housewife starts playing)
Katie Otto: (Starts singing to calm herself down) Conceal, don't feel, don't let them know. But now they know.
Greg Otto (Played by Diedrich Bader): What are you doing? We spent three years getting that song out of this house.
Katie Otto: It's spilling out. (Sings) Let it go. Let it go.
Greg Otto: Oh, dear Lord.
Katie Otto: (Sings) Can't hold it back anymore.
Sean: (Narrating) Riggs and Murtaugh ask Leo to check out Mesa Verde Construction to find out all of the information that he can get. Then, Lorna discovers the files on the same equipment that had been accessed and deleted, so they hurry to the scene with newbie Officer Edwards tagging along. Travis attempts to escape through the subway while Riggs, Murtaugh, Cole and Edwards discover that the guns are missing and trace them down to the subway and a gunfight ensues.
(A gunfight ensues as Hatchett attempts to kill Murphy, but fails when Murphy pushes him into the electric circuit of the subway train tracks rail, electrocuting him)
(A clip from Goldfinger starts playing)
James Bond (Played by Sean Connery): Shocking. Positively shocking.
Sean: (Narrating) During the shootout, Travis tries to make his escape. He sees Officer Edwards taking cover behind and shoots him.
(Travis, armed with a Smith & Wesson Model 29 revolver that's loaded with armor-piercing bullets, opens fires and shoots and kills Edwards)
"Damn, he was only 22 and today was his birthday." Sean said as a saxaphone riff starts playing in the background.
Sean: (Narrating) Riggs goes after Travis on foot and once on the surface, he commandeers an LAPD motorcycle to pursue after the truck while Murtaugh catches up with him. During the chase, Riggs chases Travis on the wrong way of the freeway that's under construction. Travis shoots at Riggs, but Riggs ends up flying off an unfinished ramp and holds onto dear life.
Sgt. Roger Murtaugh: R-Riggs! Hey, hey! Just relax. Relax, Riggs.
Sgt. Martin Riggs: Relax?
(The cables give away)
Sgt. Roger Murtaugh: Riggs! Riggs!
Sgt. Martin Riggs: (While falling) Oh, shit!
(Riggs falls through several platforms)
"Holy shit!" Sean yelled out in slow motion.
Sean: (Narrating) Riggs survives his fall but dislocates his shoulder before putting it back in and he is angered about Travis getting away from him. But hey, at least Leo Getz the ditzy blonde shows up on the scene to give them information on Mesa Verde Construction.
Leo Getz: Mesa Verde's legit. They got a housing project out in the desert. It's called Rancho Royale.
Sgt. Martin Riggs: Yeah, I know where that is.
Leo Getz: Let's check it out. Let's check it out. I'll come with you guys.
Sgt. Martin Riggs: No, you're not coming with us.
Leo Getz: Yes, I am. Fine, then I'll take my care then.
Sgt. Martin Riggs: No, you're not.
Leo Getz: Yes, I am.
(Riggs shoots Leo's front tire)
Leo Getz: I can't believe you did that! I got a spare in the trunk. I'll fix you!
(Murtaugh shoots Leo's rear tire)
Leo Getz: How could you do that? I can't believe you did that.
"Oookay, he's gone from funny to annoying in no time flat." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) The film comes to a thrilling climax when Riggs and Murtaugh head to Rancho Royale, where they're joined by Lorna. They use Captain Murphy's car as a distraction then they make their attack on the count of three. An intense shootout breaks out as Riggs, Murtaugh and Cole take out Travis' men. Riggs gets to a truck with a hose and drives the truck through the houses. Murtaugh ignites the gasoline, setting the housing development in flames and blowing up the ammo.
"Okay, we have seen Lorna take care of herself in this movie. We've seen her using martial arts on a couple of bad guys and shoot at a few of them. She's gonna make it out ok…." Sean said before he gets interrupted.
Jack Travis: (Shoots Lorna) Come on in, bitch!
(Lorna screams as Travis shoots her)
Jack Travis: Door's open! (Continues to shoot at Cole)
"Son of a bitch! She gets herself killed! Go figure!" Sean yelled.
Sean: (Narrating) While Riggs goes after Travis, Murtaugh fights through some of Travis' men, then finds some armor-piercing bullets and loads up Darryl's gun with them. During the fight, Travis gets in a mini-digger and tries to kill Riggs with it.
Jack Travis: Killed in the line of duty, Riggs!
(Riggs picks up his gun and shoots at the plow of the digger, but the bullets doesn't affect it)
Jack Travis: You like a funeral from the department, Riggs?
Sean: (V/O) Okay, I'm getting sick of this guy can somebody give Riggs a gun so Travis could get a taste of his own medicine?
Sgt. Roger Murtaugh: Hey, Riggs, cop killers!
(Murtaugh tosses Darryl's gun to Riggs. Riggs shoots through the plow of the digger, shooting Travis in the process)
Sgt. Martin Riggs: Ex-cop killer.
(The words Thug Life is shown and N.W.A.'s Fuck Tha Police starts playing in the background)
Jack Travis: (His last words) Go to Hell, Riggs.
Sgt. Martin Riggs: You first.
(Riggs lifts Travis' foot off of the brake lever of the digger, allowing it to go further into the burning housing development, taking Travis out in the process)
Sean: (Narrating) Riggs checks on Lorna and finds that she wore two bulletproof vests but she's badly injured. And as the ambulance arrives, Riggs goes with her as she is being medivac'ed by helicopter and he makes this speech to her.
Sgt. Martin Riggs: What are you trying to prove out there, huh? Huh? Why do you do that? You're supposed to grow old with someone, not because of them, all right? I'm going to be with you, Lorna. Hey, I'm with you now. Look, I'm right here. We're both here, right? Right. Come on, I want to be with you. What have you got to lose?
Lorna Cole: You.
Sgt. Martin Riggs: Not likely.
(He kisses Lorna)
Sean: (Narrating) And then Riggs declares his love for her.
Sgt. Martin Riggs: Can you hear me? I love you.
"Awww, how sweet. At least she lived unlike the other two in the last two films." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Okay, let's wrap this review up. Murtaugh's final day of work arrives and he breaks the news to his family that he's decided not to retire, then the blonde midget enters the house to tell him some news about the house.
Leo Getz: I have sold this turkey. This termite-infested dump is now gone, okay?
Sgt. Roger Murtaugh: Hey, Leo, the house is off the market. We're gonna stay in this termite-infested turkey for another 10 years.
Leo Getz: Because we're partner, no commission, okay?
Sgt. Roger Murtaugh: Partners?
Leo Getz: You and Riggs, you owe me two tires. Two new tires I want.
Sgt. Roger Murtaugh: Why?
Leo Getz: Why? Because bullets aren't covered in normal road hazard.
"Oh, my God! He's starting to annoy me. Can we please just finish this review? He's giving me a headache." Sean groaned while rubbing his temples.
Sean: (Narrating) The movie ends with Murtaugh seeing Riggs arrive and saying goodbye to Rianne with a kiss as she heads off for work. Riggs starts smoking again. Murtaugh tells Riggs to stay away from Rianne after he saw Rianne kiss Riggs and Riggs tells him that it was a friendship kiss and that he's spoken for and tells Murtaugh that things are serious between him and Lorna. And they all live happily ever after….
"OR DO THEY?!" Sean asked.
(We cut to the post-credits scene as Riggs and Murtaugh arrive at the scene of another bomb threat. As Riggs gets out of the car, the building explodes)
Sgt. Roger Murtaugh: They're never going to believe this!
Sgt. Martin Riggs: Hope nobody saw us.
Sgt. Roger Murtaugh: They're going to blame me.
Sgt. Martin Riggs: Let's keep cool. Oh, I think you better get your girdle out of mothballs, Rog.
Sgt. Roger Murtaugh: Yeah, they'll say we're back in uniform again. 10 more years of this. 10 more years of this.
Riggs and Murtaugh: I'm too old for this shit.
I'm Too Old For This Shit Counter: #7
(Since Riggs and Murtaugh both said it at the end, I'm counting this.)
"And that was Lethal Weapon 3, my friends. And um, I honest think it's not that bad. Despite mixed to positive reviews, the film was a box-office success. I mean, it's not as good as the first two films but it still holds up. Although I enjoyed the characters and the acting, I do have some problems with Leo Getz and Jack Travis. Originally, Leo wasn't supposed to appear in the third movie. But they added him in and even though the character was funny in the last film, he tends to be annoying in this one. Plus, I didn't care for the villain Jack Travis, he isn't that convincing a villain. I find Mr. Joshua and Arjen Rudd more convincing and menacing. And there is one thing that I should mention here and I would just like to say kudos to the late Carrie Fisher, who was an uncredited script doctor for the movie, she reworked Rene Russo's character and dialogue. Despite all of the movie's issues, is it the worst out of the series? I don't think so. That's why I'm giving Lethal Weapon 3, four badges out of five. I'm Sean the Mayhem Critic, tune in next time when we finish up Lethal Weapon Month with Lethal Weapon 4 and…" Sean said as he began to hear a loud sound, looking around to see where the noise is coming from, then looks up before looking at the camera. "Excuse me!"
Sean moves from out of his seat and screams as the number four lands in his seat.
"Holy Toledo! These fours are getting deadlier every year!" Sean exclaimed.
Mayhem Critic Tagline – Close is a lingerie shop without a front window.
And that was the Mayhem Critic's review of Lethal Weapon 3. I hope that you liked this review and some of the gags in it. Next time, Lethal Weapon Month ends with a bang when Sean the Mayhem Critic reviews the grand finale of the series, Lethal Weapon 4. Don't forget to review this story, add this to your favorites and follow it for future updates. Also, if there's any movie or TV show that you want me to review, feel free to PM. I'll see you guys next time for the finale of Lethal Weapon Month. Till next time, my fellow readers.