The Mayhem Critic
Hello, my fellow readers. It is I, the great James Stryker bringing you another great chapter of The Mayhem Critic. Well, I have everything set up for September for which movies to review and I'll tell you about it at the end of this review. But hey, The Summer of Vacation still continues as Sean takes a look at Vegas Vacation, his least favorite sequel in the Vacation series. Well, one movie in the Vacation film series made him rage let's hope that this one doesn't make him rage as bad. I hope you enjoy the new chapter of The Mayhem Critic because this one's on the roll. Sorry for the bad pun. LOL.
P.S.: I do not own anything involved in this story and all material belongs to their respective sources. Vegas Vacation is owned by Warner Bros. and JW Productions.
The Summer of Vacation Part VI: Vegas Vacation
We see Sean the Mayhem Critic sitting on the couch in his living room with a big, goofy grin on his face as he was excited about something before starting the review.
"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. I'm Sean the Mayhem Critic, the critic that rips movies a new one…" Sean said as he squeals in excitement. "And we're almost done, almost done with…."
Sean gets up from off of his couch and stands on top of it to give his Summer of Vacation introduction.
"THE SUMMER OF VACATION!" Sean said in a deep, booming voice before sitting back down on the couch. "Okay, only one film left in the Vacation film series. And I have just one more movie left to review and it's the Vacation reboot. And I know that I'm doing another Vacation movie before the reboot. I raged over my last review of Christmas Vacation 2. Maybe this one will be good, you can't always judge a book by it's…"
(The title screen for Vegas Vacation pops up)
"D'OH! Except for this abomination!" Sean exclaimed.
(Clips from Vegas Vacation are shown)
Sean: (Narrating) Yes, Vegas Vacation. Released on February 14, 1997.
(A clip from Ghostbusters II plays)
Dr. Peter Venkman (Played by Bill Murray): Valentine's Day. Bummer.
Sean: (Narrating) This is the fourth installment in the Vacation film series and it stars Chevy Chase, Beverly D'Angelo and Randy Quaid. This is considered to be the worst in the series along with Christmas Vacation 2 but hey Vegas Vacation is Citizen Fucking Kane compared to Christmas Vacation 2. This is the first theatrical Vacation film not to carry the National Lampoon label and we see that it's not written by John Hughes, mostly because he was ruining the Home Alone film series with Home Alone 3. We see that the film was written by Little Black Book screenwriter Elisa Bell and Bob Ducsay, who's know for his work as an editor on films like The Mummy, Tremors II: Aftershocks, The Jungle Book '94, The Mummy Returns, Looper, Godzilla and Star Wars: The Last Jedi. We also see that the film was not produced by John Hughes, it's produced by the late Jerry Weintraub, who was the producer of The Karate Kid film series and the films Ocean's Eleven, Twelve and Thirteen. And the film was directed by Stephen Kessler, who's work I'm not familiar with. Also, this is the only film in the Vacation film series to be rated PG.
"You know what's funny? On the back of the DVD, it says that it's rated PG-13. Look, either be PG or PG-13. You can't have it both ways. Let's finish up The Summer of Vacation as the Griswolds take on the city that will take all of your money, this is Vegas Vacation. God help us." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) So, the film opens with Clark, played by Chevy Chase, driving home while singing The Beach Boys' Good Vibrations very badly while looking at a brochure of Las Vegas and drives recklessly while trying to kill everybody. What a way to start our film and…
(Sean listens to the music score)
Sean: (Narrating) Okay, what's with the music score? It feels like I'm watching an episode of Tiny Toon Adventures. Weird. Anyway, we see that Clark comes home very happy and he has some news to share with his wife Ellen, played by Beverly D'Angelo, and Rusty and Audrey who are now teenagers and all of a sudden Audrey is a smoking hot Latina instead of a white girl. Not trying to sound racist here. Rusty is played by Ethan Embry, who you might recognize from the Netflix show Grace & Frankie, and Audrey is played by…
(Sean sees that Audrey's portrayer is very familiar)
"Wait a minute, wait a minute." Sean said as he picks up the remote and pauses after recognizing the girl. "Holy Mary Mother of God in Heaven of All That Is Holy. Marisol Nichols? I'm not joking, that's Marisol Nichols as Audrey Griswold in Vegas Vacation. Hey Riverdale fans, before she became the mob wife of Hiram Lodge, she was the daughter of Clark Griswold. Yeah. That's Hermione Lodge, guys."
(A clip from Riverdale is shown)
Hermione Lodge (Played by Marisol Nichols): You know, I should slap you for what you're insinuating, but I'm not a violent person.
Sean: (Narrating) Clark has some good news to share with his family and the news is that his long-life food preservative has been approved and he got his big bonus. So, what better way is to take a few days off and take his family to…
Clark Griswold (Played by Chevy Chase): Fantastic Las Vegas! (Laughs)
Audrey Griswold (Played by Marisol Nichols) Dad, Las Vegas? There's nothing to do there.
Ellen Griswold (Played by Beverly D'Angelo): Clark, I don't think that Las Vegas is the kind of place you take a family.
"Yeah, she's right. You have members of the mafia in Las Vegas. Not to mention Rover Dangerfield and a giant baby." Sean said.
Audrey Griswold: Dad, I'm not going. The people there are so phony.
Rusty Griswold (Played by Ethan Embry): Isn't there legalized prostitution.
Sean: (Narrating) Oh, yeah. I forgot to mention that Rusty in this film is a bit of a goofball. Clark wants his family to go to Las Vegas with him because he wants to spend some time with his family and I like this little gag right here that he makes coming up.
Clark Griswold: And you guys are growing up so fast I hardly recognize you anymore.
"Okay, I have to admit that was pretty funny." Sean said, laughing a bit.
Sean: (Narrating) Another reason for the trip to Vegas is that Clark wants to renew his vows with Ellen. So, with the family all set, they're on their way to Las Vegas.
Ellen Griswold: I think this is going to be the greatest vacation ever.
(Rusty and Audrey look at each other, knowing that this vacation is going to turn into a disaster)
"Since when have their vacations gone right?" Sean asked.
Sean: (Narrating) During the flight to Vegas, Clark tries to be frisky with Ellen and decides to go to a special club with her in the bathroom. The Mile-High Club. Excuse me.
"Hold on, this is a PG movie. This is a movie for the whole family to watch. Why add sexual humor to this film? It's not like the little kids would understand. Can you imagine how parents would react if their kid asks them what the Mile-High Club is." Sean said.
(Cutaway Gag)
(Sean and Taylor are acting as parents and Brian is acting as the little son as they watch Vegas Vacation)
Clark Griswold: (On TV) You know, honey. The guys at work tell me there's this club we can join if we meet in the bathroom.
Brian: (As the son) Mommy, daddy.
Sean: (As the father) Yes, son?
Brian: What club are they talking about?
Sean: Hmm?
Brian: They're talking about a club in the bathroom. Can we join this club?
(Taylor spits her drink out in shock)
Taylor: (As the mother) Oh, my God! Honey, I don't think we should tell Jimmy.
Sean: Oh, please. You and I both joined the Mile-High Club a few times.
Brian: I want to join the Mile-High Club!
Sean: When you're older, son. When you're older.
Brian: What's the Mile-High Club?
Sean: Mother of God.
(Cutaway Gag Ends)
Sean: (Narrating) Clark and Ellen decide to spice up their sex life and by pushing the rating up to a PG-13 rating, Clark and Ellen join the Mile High Club in the bathroom and let's just say that it didn't end well.
(Ellen gets her foot stuck in the toilet)
Ellen Griswold: Ow! Foot, foot, foot, foot, foot, foot!
(Clark accidentally flushes the toilet while Ellen's foot is stuck)
Clark Griswold: I got it. I got it. I got it.
(We see the aftermath as we see Ellen's foot and pant leg dyed blue and Clark's hand and sleeve dyed blue as well)
Ellen Griswold: I'll never fly again.
"This is why I don't fly on planes." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) The family arrives in Las Vegas and is greeted by a limo driver who drives them to their destination and during the drive, the Griswolds become entranced with the Vegas nightlife.
Audrey Griswold: It's beautiful!
Clark Griswold: Audrey, come here. You gotta see this.
(Clark closes the sunroof on Audrey's waist)
Audrey Griswold: Daddy! Help! Daddy, I'm stuck! Daddy! (Coughs)
Clark Griswold: Vegas, Vegas, Vegas.
"Jesus! He's trying to kill her before she even stars in Riverdale." Sean said. "And by the way, have you noticed that Audrey is a bit like Meg Griffin from Family Guy? I've noticed it while watching these films."
Sean: (Narrating) The Griswolds arrive at the Mirage Hotel, where they're checked in by a receptionist, played by Saturday Night Live's Julia Sweeney, and she gives them directions to their hotel room.
Mirage Reception Person (Played by Julia Sweeney): Now, in order to get to your rooms, you're going to have to go this way through the casino, veer to the left. Take a short right at the first giant palm tree. You'll see a group of blackjack tables….
"Right, uh, wait. Huh?" Sean asked.
Mirage Reception Person: You'll see a bank of elevators. Those aren't your elevators, stay away from them.
"Right, elevators. Then what, I want to know." Sean said.
Mirage Reception Person: Any questions?
Clark Griswold: No, not really.
"Yeah, I have just one question: could you just show them to their fucking room?" Sean asked.
Sean: (Narrating) As they arrive to their hotel room, Clark gets hit with the gambling bug and plays some slots. Once they're settled in, Clark and Ellen have a little fun at the casino and on their way, Ellen gets her panties wet for Wayne Newton when she sees him walking by and staring at her. Meanwhile, Rusty and Audrey sneak into the casino to do some gambling until they get caught.
Audrey Griswold: Hi.
Mirage Security Guard (Played by Sly Smith): Good evening. Would the two of you have any ID?
Rusty Griswold: Well, uh, you see we left our IDs upstairs, actually. We're on our honeymoon. But, if you could wait here for two minutes. I can run upstairs and get the ID. I'll be right back, okay.
(Rusty kisses Audrey's cheek and leaves)
"Pretending to be a married couple? Rusty, I know that Audrey is a sexy, banging hot Latina, but she's your sister. What do you think this is, The Godfather Part III?" Sean asked.
Sean: (Narrating) Meanwhile, Clark comes across a blackjack table and a blackjack dealer named Marty, played by Wallace Shawn. An actor who I met at the Cincinnati Comic Expo last year.
(A photo of Sean and Wallace Shawn is shown)
Sean: (Narrating) And while Clark is trying to have some good luck at the blackjack table, guess who shows up.
Cousin Eddie (Played by Randy Quaid): Clark Griswold, did you think you were gonna get to Las Vegas and not see your favorite cousin?
Sean: (Narrating) That's right, folks. Cousin Eddie is back and he's once again played by America and Canada's favorite nutjob Randy Quaid and boy it's great to see Cousin Eddie again. It's a shame that I'll hate him in Christmas Vacation 2.
Clark Griswold: What are you doing in Las Vegas, Eddie?
Cousin Eddie: Where else can you wear shorts 24 hours a day, huh?
Sean: (Narrating) While he's talking to Eddie, Clark suspects that the Marty the blackjack dealer is shady and he ends up losing money to him.
Clark Griswold: I can't believe it. I lost $300 in 15 minutes?
(Eddie almost chokes on his beer, burps and then faints in shock)
Cousin Eddie: I'm okay. I'm okay.
(Clark looks at Marty and points at him as Marty makes a goofy face at Clark)
(A clip from The Princess Bride is shown)
Vizzini (Played by Wallace Shawn): Inconceivable!
"See that? This is why I don't gamble away my money." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Later that night, the Griswold decide to enjoy some entertainment as they go see Siegfried & Roy perform a magic trick. So, they have Clark as a volunteer.
(Clark is in a box that lifts up as a curtain goes down around it. We then hear Clark scream as the curtain goes down, to reveal a white tiger)
"Okay, either one or two things. One: they turned Clark into a white tiger. And two: that white tiger ate him up." Sean said. "Remember what happened to Roy Horn back in 2003 when that white tiger bit him on the neck?"
(Clark appears on stage during the grand finale of the show. He turns and sees a white tiger)
"Oh, shit. Now the tigers are going to kill him for doing The Chevy Chase Show." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) The next day, Clark and his family are enjoying breakfast before driving down to see Cousin Eddie and Cousin Catherine, who are living in Vegas and Rusty decides that he wants to gamble, and that pisses off Clark.
Rusty Griswold: I want to gamble.
(Clark looks at his son, with an upset look on his face)
Clark Griswold: Russell, I never want to hear those words out of your mouth again. Gambling is a very serious business. Is that clear?
"Maybe that Martin Scorsese movie didn't make it clear to you when we watched it. Do you want your head crushed in a vise by Joe Pesci?" Sean asked, imitating Clark Griswold.
Sean: (Narrating) But Clark, trying to set a good example decides to sneak to the casino and play some roulette then loses $25. Way to set a good example, Clark. Then it's off to see Cousin Eddie and Cousin Catherine and we get….
(Holiday Road performed by Lindsey Buckingham plays)
"Oh, Holiday Road. How I missed you so much. Holiday Road! Holiday Road!" Sean sings.
Sean: (Narrating) And speaking of throwbacks, they decide to throw in a nod to the original Vacation when Christie Brinkley returns. HELLOOOOOOOOOO CHRISTIE BRINKLEY!
(Clark sees the Woman in the Car, then starts hitting on her while Ellen isn't looking)
"Got to give this film some credit, they know how to throw in a great reference, to a really good movie that I should be watching right now." Sean said.
(Clark then sees a baby sitting in the back in a car seat. We learn that the Woman in the Red Ferrari is now a mother)
"Wow, looks like things have changed for the Girl in the Red Ferrari." Sean said. "We see that she's now a mother and she's married to Peter Cook. And for a woman who's in her forties, she's still looking fine as hell."
Sean: (Narrating) The Griswolds arrive at Cousin Eddie and Cousin Catherine's RV and we see that they live at an abandoned U.S. Government atomic testing facility. What the hell? Uh, yeah. I don't think that it's a safe place to be living at. Once again playing Eddie's wife Catherine is the talented Miriam Flynn and we're also introduced to another character that we haven't seen before named Cousin Denny played by Zach Moyes. And we see that he has a shitload of piercings on his face.
Clark Griswold: Doesn't that hurt?
Cousin Denny (Played by Zach Moyes): It's not bad.
"You should see the other guy. He had a shitload of piercings on his arm and back just to break the world record." Sean said, referring to the guy breaking the world record for the most piercings on his body from TruTV's World's Dumbest Record Breakers.
Sean: (Narrating) Heck, we see that Cousin Eddie is living the dream with him and his family living at an atomic testing facility, boy they're lucky that they haven't have any abnormalities with their bodies. And he can cook his chicken on the rocks without affording a grill.
"I would not eat what Cousin Eddie is cooking I would rather keep my teeth and hair intact." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) And speaking of returning characters, Ruby-Sue from National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation is back, this time she's played by Juliette Brewer. You know, Mary Ann from The Little Rascals and the voice of Rosy from Balto.
"And if you want to know what Mary Ann from The Little Rascals looks like now." Sean said as a photo of Juliette Brewer pops up. It was a photo of the 20th anniversary cast reunion of The Little Rascals movie that was released back in 1994. "Goddamn, Mary Ann looks hot. What about Darla and Jane?"
(The reunion photo of The Little Rascals with Juliette Brewer, Brittany Ashton Holmes and Heather Karasek as the characters Mary Ann, Darla and Jane pop up)
"Helloooooooooo, why am I having naughty thoughts about these three from my favorite movie from my childhood? Okay, I'm off topic. Let me get back to reviewing this one before I conduct a naughty fanfic about Darla, Mary Ann and Jane." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) And returning from National Lampoon's Vacation is Cousin Vi….
(The record screeches)
Cousin Vicki (Played by Shae D'lyn): Lord is my witness, I hate this heat! If it ain't gluing your butt to the truck seat it's making you sweat like a farm animal! And I want something better! Hey, everybody.
"Remember Cousin Vicki, the pot smoking, daddy kissing cousin from National Lampoon's Vacation? Well, she's in this movie. And instead of Jane Krakowski reprising her role as Cousin Vicki, I guess her agent called and told her about the movie and she heard how bad this movie's going to be, she jumped ship and starred in Ally McBeal. Cousin Vicki is played by Shae D'lyn, who you might recognize her as Jane from the ABC sitcom Dharma & Greg." Sean said.
Cousin Eddie: You remember your Cousin Vicki don't you, Russ? Yeah, she's a dancer now.
"Ooh, a dancer? What in ballet? Or a ballroom dancer? At least she has a normal job." Sean said.
(Cousin Vicki starts pole dancing as Eddie, Catherine, Ellen, Audrey, Clark and Rusty watch. While watching Vicki, Clark crushes his beer can)
Clark Griswold: Don't think unnatural thoughts about your cousin, Russ.
"Uh, you should tell that to Audrey. I mean look at her checking out her cousin. She's having unnatural thoughts about scissoring her." Sean said as the camera zooms in on Audrey's face.
Cousin Vicki: If you want to hang out with Cousin Vicki tonight, I'll give you my beeper number.
Audrey Griswold: Really? That would be great.
(A clip from Community plays)
Senor Ben Chang (Played by Ken Jeong): Ha, gay!
Sean: (Narrating) Before they leave, Cousin Eddie and Cousin Catherine tag along with the family and their next destination on their vacation is….
(A clip from the Girl Meets World episode Girl Meets Texas Part 3 is shown)
Cory Matthews (Played by Ben Savage): Hoover Dam!
Hoover Dam Guide (Played by the late John Finnegan): I am your dam guide, Arnie. Now, I'm about to take you through a fully functional power plant. So please, no one wander off the dam tour. And please take all the dam pictures you want. Now, are there any dam questions?
Cousin Eddie: Yeah, where can I get some dam bait?
"This damn joke is too damn stupid and how long till this damn movie ends? It's giving me a damn headache and I need a damn aspirin." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) During the tour, Clark inadvertently causes a leak and he tries to patch it up with some chewing gum, which doesn't work and he ends up getting lost.
Clark Griswold: Where the hell is the damn dam tour?
"Ah, ah! Don't start that damn joke again, damn it!" Sean points.
Sean: (Narrating) While wandering through Hoover Dam, Clark finds himself outside and climbs up a power tower while composer Joel McNeely gives us a poor man's Indiana Jones theme. Then we're treated to the worst green screen effect ever. Jesus, I've seen better visual effects in Tobe Hooper's Invaders From Mars. Clark hangs onto one of the power cords until it break and then it gives us a funny bit that I like.
Clark Griswold: (While swinging to the wall of the Hoover Dam) O beautiful for spacious skies, for amber waves of…
(A loud thud is heard as Ellen and the rest of the family see Clark climbing the wall of the Hoover Dam)
Ellen Griswold: Oh, my God! Clark!
Audrey Griswold: Daddy!
Clark Griswold: Sorry, honey, I'll be right up.
"Must refrain from making a Good Luck Charlie joke. Must refrain from making a Good Luck Charlie joke." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Clark climbs up the wall of the Hoover Dam to try not to kill himself. I'm just waiting for Lex Luthor to launch a nuclear missile and cause an earthquake with that missile so Clark can fall to his death. So, yeah. Clark doesn't get himself killed. Hoover Dam!
"Worst. Joke. Ever!" Dave yelled out.
"Shut up, Dave!" Sean yelled.
Sean: (Narrating) Later, Clark and his family were given four tickets to see Wayne Newton and Ellen is surprised and she gets a gift from Wayne Newton. And boy the effect he has on women. Clark and his family go to see Wayne Newton perform and during the performance Wayne Newton sees Ellen and starts singing and Ellen has the hots for the guy.
Rusty Griswold: Holy crap, Wayne Newton's hitting on mom.
(Wayne and Ellen start singing and Ellen tries to hit a high note for the song Loving You)
"Wayne Newton is a dreamboat." Taylor said.
"I know." Cheryl said.
"Hey!" Sean and Brian both said.
"Boy, Wayne Newton sure does have an effect on wom….
Sean pulls out his Beretta M9 pistol and Brian pulls out a Walther PPK as they both point their weapons at Dave the cameraman.
"One more word out of you and we'll pop you full of lead." Sean said as Dave stayed silent.
Sean: (Narrating) After Wayne Newton's performance, Clark goes to gamble some more and has some good luck until Cousin Eddie arrives and has some bad luck. Then has some more bad luck when Marty returns. Meanwhile with Rusty and Audrey, Rusty gets himself a fake ID from a Frank Sinatra impersonator, played by Kahn Souphanousinphone, Sr. (Toby Huss) from King of the Hill and becomes a high-class winner while taking on the pseudonym Nick Pappagiorgio. Sounds like the name of a mobster in the Gambino Crime Family. Audrey is taking in the nightlife while hanging out with her Cousin Vicki. Meanwhile with Ellen, she's hanging out with Wayne Newton and Clark gets jealous. This what this movie consists up, Clark gets addicted to gambling and gets humiliated by Wallace Shawn every time he loses, Rusty enjoying the high life, Audrey hanging out with her exotic dancer cousin and Ellen spending time with Wayne Newton, who has the hots for her.
"Remember when three of the Vacation films were funny? This is just pure torture than Christmas Vacation 2. I would rather be watching Vacation, European Vacation and Christmas Vacation. This one just bores the hell out of me. It's boring." Sean said.
Marty: Buy a bullet and rent a gun.
"I already got that one covered." Sean said, picking up his gun.
Sean: (Narrating) After being humiliated and losing his money, Clark sees Rusty, Audrey and Ellen are back from their "alone" day and he sees that Vegas has changed them and it's time for a little family chat.
Clark Griswold: Now listen to me, I know we haven't seen a lot of each other lately and that's okay but we're the Griswolds. And we're on vacation. And starting right now, we're going to have a great time.
Audrey Griswold: But dad, we're having a great time.
Rusty Griswold: Who would've thought that my sister had the legs of a thoroughbred. Am I right?
Clark Griswold: Shut up, Russ.
"Yeah, Russ. Shut up before Hiram Lodge frames you for murder and puts you in jail. Or he'll send somebody to blow up your cars." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Clark tells them that starting right now they're going to have a great time together as a family but then a furious Ellen says "fuck that shit."
Ellen Griswold: You brought us all here on a family vacation and the only time we've spent together is when you're on your way in or out of the casino.
Clark Griswold: I've invited you…
Ellen Griswold: You find the Clark Griswold I married and tell him I'm at the Mirage!
Sean: (V/O as Ellen) And you tell him that I will be sleeping with Al Pacino!
Clark Griswold: Don't worry about me! I got plenty I can do on my own in Las Vegas!
(Clark checks his pockets and sees that he has no money left)
Sean: (Narrating With the family deserting him, Clark decides to hang out with Cousin Eddie and his kids at a buffet, in which Chef Gordon Ramsay will not approve.
Cousin Eddie: Best $1.49 buffet in town, Clark.
"In Vegas? I would not eat there with food looking like that and give me food poisoning. I would rather eat at Golden Corral." Sean said. "At least the food looks good there."
Sean: (Narrating) Then Clark asks Eddie an important question about him.
Clark Griswold: Eddie, when you look at me, what do you see?
(Eddie looks at Clark)
"He sees a man who made some bad career choices in his life." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Clark tells Eddie that he gambled away $22. 600 and Eddie almost has a heart attack. And Eddie decides to help Clark out since he has some money stashed away but here's one problem…
(We see Clark and Eddie out by the RV digging up the money)
Cousin Eddie: I forgot where I buried it.
"Okay, who in their right mind buries money in the ground? Couldn't Eddie afford a safe? He's not the guy who buried money from It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) So after they found the money that Eddie buried, can you take a guess what they're going to do?
Is it:
Give the money to Clark.
Not gamble Eddie's money away.
Put the money in the safe.
Go to a strip club.
Sean: (Narrating) If you answered any of these questions, then you're a fucking idiot! And what do you know, Clark ends up gambling away Eddie's money at one of them discount casinos while trying to get his money back. And Clark re-evaluates his life because he's a crappy husband and father. And he becomes sad about seeing those families happy together.
Clark Griswold: Look at all these happy families. Where did I go wrong? What did I do?
"A lot of things you did wrong and I can name a lot of things that you've done. I've got a list." Sean said as he pulls out a giant list from underneath his couch. "Let's see: you starred in O Heavenly Dog with Benji, you kidnapped John Candy and held him at gunpoint with a BB gun, you left Aunt Edna's corpse at Normie's house, you murdered Aunt Edna's dog, you filmed a porno starring you and Ellen, you did The Chevy Chase Show. The list goes on."
Sean: (Narrating) Clark doesn't care about the money and all he cares about is getting his family back, because that's what a good husband and father do. So, the first stop is at Wayne Newton's mansion, where Ellen is having dinner with him and this happens.
Wayne Newton: Ellen, I uh. There's something I have to tell you.
(Ellen stops eating and sits her plate down on the table)
Ellen Griswold: Oh, no. Wayne, please, don't.
Wayne Newton: Ellen, I've always been a moral man. But my resolve is melting in the blinding light of your precious smile.
Ellen Griswold: (Picks her plate up from off of the table) Maybe you're just hungry. Would you like some more pasta?
Sean: (Narrating) Wayne Newton tries to make a move on Ellen. You know the last time Wayne Newton tried to sleep with a woman, this happened.
(A clip from the James Bond movie License to Kill plays, in the scene, the character Pam Bouvier shoots at Professor Joe Butcher but misses)
Sean: (Narrating) And in the nick of time, Clark arrives by crashing a tour bus through Wayne Newton's house and wins Ellen back before Wayne Newton could make Ellen say Danke Schoen.
Clark Griswold: I've been a fool. And not a loveable fool who clowns for the delight of children and small people. But a fool who's only fooling himself.
Ellen Griswold: Clark, you're back.
Clark Griswold: I've learned that a family vacation only works when you're with your family. You and Russ and…
Ellen Griswold: Audrey.
"No, Hermione Lodge. Of course, Audrey." Sean said in a sarcastic tone.
Sean: (Narrating) Clark and Ellen get back together and then it's time to get the kids. They end up finding Rusty partying in a swanky hotel room with a bunch of hot bikini babes, only to get embarrassed by his parents. And Audrey, where she's a Club Areola….
(Ellen gasps in shock and points to see Cousin Vicki dancing on the pole)
Cousin Vicki: Hey, everybody!
(Clark, Ellen and Rusty turn to see Audrey, who is dancing in a cage)
Ellen Griswold: Oh, my God! Our baby!
Clark Griswold: Hang on, honey, daddy's coming to get you!/Ten years of tap-dancing lessons and this is how you repay me?
"That's Clark's initial reaction to finding out that she was getting married to Hiram Lodge." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Clark, Ellen, Rusty and Audrey reunite and then he breaks the news about losing all of the money. And with two dollars Ellen has, it's time to get their money by going to the MGM Grand and play keno to win $30, 000. And they come across an elderly man, played by the late Sid Caesar.
Mr. Ellis (Played by the late Sid Caesar): Excuse me, is that your family?
Clark Griswold: Yeah.
Mr. Ellis: You're a lucky man.
Clark Griswold: Luckiest guy on earth.
"Let's hope you be a lucky son of a bitch when you win." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) And this is a scene that I like in this movie, this old man named Mr. Ellis was never married and that he has been lonely all of his life. And out of sympathy, Clark tells the man to consider himself part of the Griswold family. Both the Griswolds and the old man begin the game, but the Griswolds end up losing until Mr. Ellis wins the game and bursts out in joy and in a reference to one of my favorite comedies, the man suddenly begin to slip in and out of consciousness and he tells him to take the ticket before he dies. And if you're curious to know what movie they're referencing, it's a reference to Jimmy Durante's death scene in It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World. A movie which Sid Caesar starred in. Clark takes the ticket and with their newfound winnings, Clark and Ellen renew their vows…
(While Clark and Ellen are renewing their vows, Eddie and Catherine are crying throughout the whole thing)
Sean: (Narrating) Alright, let's finish this. Clark and Ellen renew their vows, Clark gives Eddie $5, 000 to repay him for his kindness and the Griswolds leave home in their new cars that Rusty won. So kids, the moral to the story is Vegas is a bad place and you shouldn't gamble. Who am I kidding? People in Vegas gamble their money!
"And that was Vegas Vacation and I didn't care for it." Sean said.
(Clips from Vegas Vacation is shown)
Sean: (Narrating) As much as I considered Vegas Vacation the weakest entry in the Vacation film series, I considered this one to be the weaker entry. There are some parts that are funny and some scenes that aren't funny. It tends to get boring at times. It's just not the same without John Hughes' writing. If he wrote the screenplay for the movie, then it would've been better. Good parts about the movie was Cousin Eddie stealing the show and the performances of Chevy Chase, Beverly D'Angelo, Randy Quaid, Ethan Embry and Marisol Nichols were pretty good. But anyway, it's a movie in the Vacation film series hit rock bottom and too corny. That's why Vegas Vacation is getting 2 poker chips out of 5.
"And that's all for my review on Vegas Vacation. And The Summer of Vacation is almost over when I take a look at the final film in the Vacation film series simply titled, Vacation. I'm Sean the Mayhem Critic. See you guys next time." Sean said.
Mayhem Critic Tagline- Vegas, Vegas, Vegas.
And that was the Mayhem Critic's review of Vegas Vacation. Next time, The Summer of Vacation ends when Sean the Mayhem Critic takes a look at the 2015 reboot simply titled Vacation. Will it be better than the other Vacation films or just a rehash of the original? Don't forget to review this story, add to your favorites and follow it for future updates. Also, here are some of the reviews that I plan on working on later on: GoldenEye, The Godfather Part III, Sean's Story Arc: Batman/Superman: World's Finest, The Sandlot and Ghostbusters II. These are some of the reviews. So, I'll see you guys next time when I finish up The Summer of Vacation. Till next time, my fellow readers.