The Mayhem Critic
Hello, my fellow readers. It is I, the great James Stryker bringing you another yet hilarious chapter of The Mayhem Critic. Today, Sean the Mayhem Critic starts a brand-new segment and takes a look at the crossover episode event of the century. It's the crossover that people asked for. The Superman: TAS/Batman: TAS crossover episode World's Finest. So here it is, the new chapter of The Mayhem Critic. Enjoy.
P.S.: I do not own anything involved in this story. All material belong to their respective sources. Batman: The Animated Series and Superman: The Animated Series are both owned by Warner Bros. Family Entertainment, Bob Kane, Bill Finger, Jerry Siegel, Joe Shustser and DC Comics.
Episode Twenty-Eight
World's Finest
Sean a.k.a. The Mayhem Critic is seen sitting on his couch and this time, he's wearing a Batman t-shirt and jeans before talking about today's topic.
"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. I'm Sean the Mayhem Critic, the critic that rips movies a new one. When we think of Batman and Superman, what do we usually think of?" Sean asked.
(The poster for Batman Vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice is shown)
"Oh, piss off. But seriously, before Zack Snyder ruined the DC cinematic universe, with the exception of Wonder Woman and Justice League, they were both pretty good, there was one guy that has done Batman and Superman right. And that man is none other than Bruce Timm." Sean said.
(A photo of Bruce Timm is shown)
Sean: (Narrating) Ah, yes. Bruce W. Timm or Bruce Timm whatever he likes to be called nowadays, has brought us some pretty good stuff in the DC animated universe. Okay, so The Killing Joke was kinda okay if you can watch pass the Batsex scene. But yeah, the animated films were pretty awesome.
"But with all that said, before I talk about Batman and Superman. I created a new segment that I like to call Sean's Story Arc." Sean said.
(A flood appears and we see a ship with Sean and a bunch of story arcs on it before coming to rest on a mountain. Then the words "Sean's Story Arc" appear on the screen)
"This is where I take popular nostalgic shows and look over the episodes either the first episode or an important story arc in the series. With that said, let's talk about the most incredible, awesome, badass show ever to hit our TV screens!" Sean exclaimed as a black cape blows over him while the music for Batman: The Animated Series plays, but then the black cape gets in his face. "Ah! Get that goddamn cape out of my face!"
Sean: (Narrating) The show was a huge hit at the time. It won both kids and adults and served as a game-changer for Batman. This show changed the way we looked at animated shows. The show was the perfect tightrope between playful and funny and dark and gritty. During Fox Kids' declining spiral, another children's programming block was born, and it was called Kids WB!.
(Clips from Kids WB! are shown as well as clips of Animaniacs, Looney Tunes and Batman: The Animated Series. Other clips such as Waynehead, Earthworm Jim, Freakazoid and Pinky and the Brain are shown as well)
Sean: (Narrating) Back in 1995, Warner Bros. was starting their own children's programming block called Kids WB and when they started up, Animaniacs, Looney Tunes and Batman moved to their new home. And Fox Kids was stuck with Life With Louie, Casper, Power Rangers, Mystic Rider, Beetleborgs, Goosebumps and X-Men. Oh, and Spider-Man as well.
"And in fall of 1996, another show was born. And that show was Superman: The Animated Series." Sean said.
(Clips from Superman: The Animated Series is shown)
Sean: (Narrating) Coming off the heels of Batman: The Animated Series and created by the same creative forces behind Batman: The Animated Series and unlike Batman with it's dark and serious tone, Superman had a light-hearted and sometimes serious tone and there were some dark moments at the time and trust me, we'll get to that later. The series had an "Ocean Liner" deco feel to the city of Metropolis and the animation, maturity and modernization of the character was well done.
(Clips from The New Batman/Superman Adventures is shown)
Sean: (Narrating) Midway through the series' run, the show was combined with The New Batman/Superman Adventures, a programming block that featured an episode from Superman: The Animated Series, original episodes of Batman: The Animated Series or The New Batman Adventures.
"And what better way to talk about Batman and Superman is by taking a look at the crossover episode World's Finest." Sean said.
(Clips from World's Finest is shown)
Sean: (Narrating) Originally aired on October 4th, 1997. This crossover episode featured Batman and Superman teaming up to stop The Joker and Lex Luthor. World's Finest originally aired as a movie event on Kids WB during the second season of Superman: The Animated Series, it depicts the first meeting between The Dark Knight and The Man of Steel and I'm going to take a look at the three-part episode to see if it still holds up.
"Let's not waste any time, this is World's Finest." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Part I of World's Finest starts, (Speaks in a deep voice) on a dark and stormy night in Gotham City. (Normal voice) Where we see an antique store owner closing the store for the night, until a mysterious woman shows up.
Antique Shop Ownwer: Sorry, miss, we're closed.
Mysterious Woman: Just look at what I'm selling. You'll plotz.
(The mysterious woman pulls out a music box, then winds the crank that plays the theme music to a certain villain. It springs open to reveal a jester head, dousing the man with some gas, causing the man to start laughing hysterically)
Sean: (Narrating) It turns out to be the work of none other than The Clown Prince of Crime himself, The Joke…
(Sean starts laughing at The Joker's new design)
"Who's that guy? All right. Where's the real Joker? That can't be him." Sean said.
"Uh, Sean. That's The Joker." Brian said.
"Huh? No way." Sean said.
Sean looks over to the right, showing The Joker's old design from 1992. The young critic then looks over to his left, showing The Joker's new design from 1997. Sean put the images of The Joker side-by-side and raised his eyebrow at the camera.
"Really?" Sean asked.
Sean: (Narrating) Yes, that's The Joker. And he's voiced by Mark Hamill. And yes, that's the new design they're going for him. Where do I begin? His new design, well, he looks horrible and silly-looking. Why couldn't they stick with his original design? They just made a wrong step with redesigning the best Batman villain of all time without any color and give him black, expressionless eyes.
"I met this… clown with this blank, pale emotionless face, and… the blackest eyes – the Devil's eyes." Sean said, imitating the late Donald Pleasance from John Carpenter's Halloween.
Sean: (Narrating) Look, only they can do that to Gambit from X-Men and they can do that to Shan Yu from Mulan but you do not and I mean not do that to The Joker. Hell, I even asked Bruce Timm about why did they have to redesign The Joker.
(Cutaway Gag)
(Sean is on his phone, waiting for Bruce Timm to answer)
Bruce Timm: Hello?
Sean: Hi, is this Bruce Timm?
Bruce Timm: Yes, it is.
Sean: Hi, I'm Sean J. Archer and I'm a big fan of Batman: The Animated Series and Mask of the Phantasm. Okay, so I have just one question for you regarding The Joker. Why did you give him this crappy new design on the fourth season of Batman: The Animated Series?
(There's no answer from Bruce Timm, but instead he hangs up)
Sean: Hello? Hello? Asshole.
(Cutaway Gag Ends)
Sean: (Narrating) Anyway, enough bitching about The Joker's new design, we see that The Joker and Harley Quinn, voiced by the hilarious Arleen Sorkin, steal a jade dragon. Why is he stealing it? What's his purpose? Later, Commissioner Gordon, voiced by the late Bob Hastings and Detective Harvey Bullock, voiced by Robert Costanzo, are investigating the crime scene and wonder why Joker would only take the jade statue.
Detective Harvey Bullock (Voiced by Robert Costanzo): All this junk and the Joker only takes one lousy statue.
"I mean look at this, he didn't even take the cute little Mogwai." Sean said, pointing at Gizmo.
Batman (Voiced by Kevin Conroy): Things are never what they seem with the Joker.
Sean: (Narrating) Batman, voiced by the awesome Kevin Conroy, steps out of the shadows and examines a fragment of the statue that was left behind and takes a sample of if for further study to see what it's made of. Back at the Batcave, Batman examines the statue fragment by running tests on it, then Alfred, voiced by the late Efrem Zimbalist Jr., gives Batman some info about the jade dragon known as the Laughing Dragon.
Alfred (Voiced by the late Efrem Zimbalist Jr.): According to this, the Laughing Dragon has earned quite a foreboding reputation. Ever since it was carved in China nearly 30 years ago, it has passed through several owners, all of whom died prematurely.
Batman: And I can tell you why. This so-called jade is emitting low-level radiation.
Sean: (Narrating) Batman knows why this "jade" is emitting low-level radiation is because it is actually Kryptonite, realizing what the Joker is planning on using for. Batman then heads to Metropolis to go after his long-time foe, and Bruce Wayne has some business to attend to. Over in Metropolis, we see that Lois Lane, voiced by Dana Delany, is on board Air Force One…
(A clip from the movie Air Force One plays)
President James Marshall (Played by Harrison Ford): (Before killing Ivan Korsunov): Get off my plane!
Sean: (Narrating) Wrong one. Anyway, Lois is on board the plane with other members of the press until a group of terrorists seize control of the plane and holds the President hostage.
Male Terrorist (Voiced by Corey Burton): Ladies and gentlemen of the press if you stay calm, you may actually live to write about this.
"Ten secrets of hijacking that terrorists don't want you to know about. Boy, the Cincinnati Enquirer is going to have a field day with this story. I smell Pulitzer." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) One of the terrorists, voiced by Corey Burton, spots Lois trying to call for help and holds her at gunpoint. Uh, yeah. I don't think it's a good idea. How dumb are these terrorists?
Male Terrorist: A very tragic example, I'm afraid, Miss…?
Lois Lane (Voiced by Dana Delany): Lane.
Male Terrorist: Lane? Lois Lane? The one Superman always saves?
"No, Andrea Beaumont. The one who killed Gotham's mob bosses and tried to kill the Joker and was sleeping with Batman. Who the hell do you think?" Sean asked.
Sean: (Narrating) But then Superman, voiced by Tim Daly, arrives to save Lois Lane and takes out the terrorists in the most badass way possible. After saving the President's life and Lois' as well, Superman gets ready to fly away until Lois tries to tell her how she feels about him.
Lois Lane: Um, how can I put this? I was just thinking, it might be nice to see each other when I wasn't I don't know, falling out a window or something. Not that I'm not grateful for all the times you've helped me, you understand.
Sean: (Narrating) But they get interrupted when robbers attack the First National Bank and duty calls for Superman, leaving poor Lois depressed that she didn't get a chance to tell him.
"Hey, don't worry. At least Amy Adams' Lois got with Henry Cavill's Superman in the Zack Snyder films." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Meanwhile, we see that Lex Luthor, voiced by Clancy Brown, is reading an article about the President thanking Superman for saving his life. This pisses him off and he calls his personal bodyguard and chauffer Mercy Graves, voiced by Lisa Edelstein aka Cuddy from House, to take him to his office at LexCorp, but she gets knocked out by Harley Quinn with a mechanical boxing glove. Harley takes Mercy's place and speeds off with Luthor inside.
(Harley notices a "cute hitchhiker" on the street)
Harley Quinn (Voiced by Arleen Sorkin): Whoa, mama! Check out the cute hitchhiker.
Sean: (V/O) Hellooooooooo Nu…. (Sees that it's the Joker lifting his pants leg up) Oh, god! No!
"Why?! Why?! Why?! Why?! Now I gotta live with the fact that I almost said Hellooooo Nurse to the Joker. Ugh! Let me think of something else. Uh, Camila Mendes and Elizabeth Gilles making out with each other in a Riverdale/Dynasty femslash crossover fanfic. Okay, I'm feeling much better now. Plus, Liz Gilles is sexy as fuck." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Harley stops the limo for the Joker and two of DC's greatest villains form an unlikely partnership.
The Joker (Voiced by Mark Hamill): I sense we are kindred spirits, you and I. Oh, there are differences to be sure. Like hair.
"Ah, don't be so moody, Lex. I still have my hair. Well, I got a haircut a couple of weeks ago and my hair's growing back. Hell, my friend Geoffery said that I look like the Nostalgia Critic, even though I look like Andre the Black Nerd." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) The Joker reveals to Lex that he's strapped for cash and he offers to use the jade dragon to kill Superman for the sum of $1 billion dollars. Lex is skeptical at first, but then changes his mind and agrees.
Lex Luthor (Voiced by Clancy Brown): You know I can't be connected to this in any way.
The Joker: Oh, you'll be Mr. Clean, I promise.
Sean starts laughing as an image of Lex Luthor's head on Mr. Clean's body pops up and the Mr. Clean jingle starts playing. "Oh, God! I'm sorry. But that was pretty funny. Who said that the Joker couldn't be funny?"
Sean: (Narrating) Meanwhile at the airport, Lois, Clark and a group of reporters are awaiting the arrival for Bruce Wayne and she immediately gets smitten by him and the two start flirting with each other.
Bruce Wayne: Maybe we can discuss it over dinner, if you're available.
Lois Lane: Totally. I mean, I think so. I'll have to check my calen—Yes.
"She take his money when he's in need. Yeah, she's a triflin' tramp indeed. Oh, she's a gold digger. Way over town, that digs on him. Seriously, Lois? Gold digger much?" Sean asked after he sings a bit of Kanye West's Gold Digger.
Sean: (Narrating) Later that night, over on the seedy side of Metropolis, where local crime boss Ceasar Carlini, voiced by John Capodice, is having dinner with his men at a Mexican restaurant. Wait, what?
Thug: Who'd have figured a guy named Weasel could cook this good?
"Wait, Italians eating at a Mexican restaurant. Don't they usually eat dinner at an Italian restaurant? Try going to Drusilla's and have your little mob meetings there. You don't want to have one while Mariachi music is playing. Can you imagine if Goodfellas did that?" Sean asked.
(Cutaway Gag)
Sean: (as Henry Hill) Tommy, you are one swell guy.
Brian: (as Tommy DeVito): What do you mean by that?
Sean: Why, I said you're swell. That's all.
Brian: You saying that I got a big head. Is that what you're saying? What am I, a bloated puffy round head here to amuse you, is that what you're saying?
Sean: No, I didn't say that. I just, I said you're swell.
Brian: I am swell?
Sean: Yeah, you're swell.
Brian: Swell?
Sean: Yeah.
(Brian stops eating)
Brian: All right, that's it!
(Brian attacks Sean while Mariachi music starts playing)
Brian: Here's your swell! I got your swell!
(Rob stops eating and notices Brian beating up Sean while the music continues to play)
Rob: (as Jimmy Conway) Tommy. Henry. Knock it off, I'm trying to enjoy my tacos. Hey, yo!
(Cutaway Gag Ends)
Sean: (Narrating) We get ourselves a little PG-rated version of the mob meeting from The Dark Knight and instead of The Joker killing Carlini by holding a knife to his mouth and giving him a Glasgow smile by asking him "Why So Serious?" or showing one of his men a "magic trick", he just gasses Carlini and makes him laugh hysterical, then recruits his thugs to join him. Meanwhile, Bruce and Lois are having their first date together. The next day, we see that Lex Luthor is demonstrating a new spider-like robot called the WayneLex T7 and shows it to Bruce since it's revealed that him and Luthor are business partners. This impresses Bruce and he is pleased at how well that his company and Luthor's company have collaborated in developing these robots for space exploration, but Luthor has his real motive for use of the robots.
Lex Luthor: (While showing him the WayneLex T7 robots) It doesn't take much imagination to envision these robots on the battlefield.
Bruce Wayne: Except I won't allow it.
Lex Luthor: What?
Bruce Wayne: I don't like guns.
"That's easy for you to say. You have a complicated history with firearms. Take a look at the old Batman comics from the 1930s and 1940s, he was seen using a gun. Hell, in Batman: Year Two, Batman kept the gun that killed his parents and he was determined to use it to avenge them and go after the Reaper with it. But we don't talk about Year Two, because that one had been eliminated in the continuity. Or what about in the Batman Beyond episode Rebirth Part 1? His last night as Batman. He was having a heart attack and one of the thugs starts beating him up until he picks up a gun and points it at the guy. And he had a reason to do so, he was getting too old for this shit." Sean said as a Lethal Weapon-style saxophone riff starts playing.
Sean: (Narrating) Bruce, who has sole control over the technology's uses under their agreement says no to Luthor. And later that night, we see that Bruce and Lois are on their first date and he starts questioning her about Superman.
Lois Lane: He's not like your Batman, thank goodness.
Bruce Wayne: Then how do you contact him?
Lois Lane: (While stirring her drink) Committing a felony helps. Listen, you seem awfully interested in Superman. Do you want me to fix you two up?
"Lois, shut up. Don't give the Fanfiction readers any ideas for smutty SuperWayne smut. Oh, God. I hope nobody have ideas for one." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Wanting to take her mind off of the Man of Steel, Bruce and Lois start dancing and romance begin to blossom for the two. I can see why because Lois Lane is actually Andrea Beaumont. Later, we see that Clark is starting his investigation and we see him talking to Bibbo, voiced by the great Brad Garrett.
Clark Kent: So just keep your ears open. Let me know if you hear any buzz about the Joker.
(He pays Bibbo)
Bibbo (Voiced by Brad Garrett): Sure thing, Mr. Kent. Uh. But, uh, which one? There's lots of jokers around here.
(We cut to Clark and we hear an audience laughing. Then, the theme song to Step by Step starts playing and it says "Executive Producers Bruce Timm, Thomas L. Miller, Robert L. Boyett and Executive Producers William Bickley, Michael Warren". Then the logos for Bickley/Warren Productions, Miller-Boyett productions, DC Comics and Warner Bros. Television pop up.)
Sean starts laughing a bit. "You know, we're only halfway through part one and I'm really getting into this. Okay, I know this is still a serious story but it's so bright and colorful and it has some humor to it. Take notes, Zack Snyder. This is how you do Batman/Superman right. It doesn't have to be too dark and gritty. Sometimes, you just need some good, wholesome, family entertainment, you know?" Sean asked, sipping his can of Dr. Pepper.
Batman: (While interrogating Binko) Where's the Joker?
Binko (Voiced by Corey Burton): Who knows? Making ha-ha with Harley Quinn.
We cut to Sean doing a spit take after hearing Binko's comment. "What the hell?! That was not appropriate for a kid's show! They're not gonna understand what he meant by that."
Sean: (Narrating) Right when Batman is about to interrogate Binko, Superman shows up and Batman throws him across the room with a judo move and Superman strikes back by ramming him into a wall.
"Again, Mr. Snyder. Take notes and learn from the master simply known as Bruce Timm. This is how you do Batman/Superman right. It doesn't have to end up with two superheroes duking it out to the death until one of them says "Martha". Wait, what?" Sean asked, referencing Batman V. Superman: Dawn of Justice.
Superman: I heard you were crazy. I didn't think you were stupid.
(Superman uses his x-ray vision and peeks behind Batman's mask. He sees that Batman is Bruce Wayne)
"Oh, you cheating son of a bitch! He can't do that! Can he do that? That's cheating. You cheated, cheater!" Sean yelled.
Sean: (Narrating) Superman tells Batman to get the hell out of his city but Batman pulls out the Kryptonite fragment.
Batman: It doesn't take much, does it? The Joker has 20 pounds more where this came from.
"Let me ask you a question, do you bleed? You will. You will." Sean said, imitating Kevin Conroy's Batman.
"This is how they should've done Dawn of Justice, Batman finds Kryptonite on one of his villains and warns Superman." Brian said.
Sean: (Narrating) But hey, since Superman knows Batman's secret identity, the Man of Steel show learn that karma's a bitch because Batman planted a homing device on his cape.
(Clark uses his telescopic vision and spots Batman on the roof of a distant building)
Sean: (V/O as Batman) It's your move, Big Blue.
(Batman smirks and gives Superman the boy scout salute and jumps out of sight)
Sean: (V/O as Batman) Don't fuck with Batman!
Clark Kent: Touche.
(Clark crushes the device in anger)
Sean: (Narrating) Part two starts as Bruce goes to see Lois at the Daily Planet to go on their second date, much to Clark's dismay. Then, him and Clark talk about the Joker's location because it's been three days since and no success in finding the Joker and Clark's also worried about his relationship with Lois.
Clark Kent: Let's just say I'm concerned. Your reputation is dubious, in and out of costume
Bruce Wayne: Don't worry. I'm taking Lois quite seriously. Besides, it seem to me you had your chance.
"By the way, I was on Dynasty in the sixth season and I played Steven Carrington's lover Bart Fallmont. You were on Wings, my friend." Sean said, referencing Kevin Conroy on Dynasty and Tim Daly on Wings.
Sean: (Narrating) Later that night, Bruce and Lois are both on their second date and the two of them are getting closer than ever and just when they're about to kiss, an uninvited guest shows up.
The Joker: My, you do live dangerously. Don't you realize you're moving in on Superman's main squeeze.
"Hey, Bruce Wayne was tappin' that ass before Superman back in Mask of the Phantasm, so you shut up." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) The two are surrounded by the Joker and his thugs and the Clown Prince of Crime shocks Lois unconsciously. Bruce gets shot at with about a gazillion bullets, forcing him off a ledge. Bruce saves himself by landing on a window-washing scaffolding, then gets shot at again, then falls again until he manages to grab the edge of the building to save himself, where he's shot at even more!
"Jesus, these guys have terrible aim like the Gotham City S.W.A.T. team in Mask of the Phantasm." Sean said. "Just stop and aim, you idiots!"
Sean: (Narrating) The Joker kidnaps Lois and escapes in the most efficient mode of transportation to get away from Superman, a friggin' blimp with a jester's face on it.
"Really? Hasn't The Joker seen the George C. Scott movie The Hindenburg?" Sean asked.
"Oh, the humanity!" Brian exclaimed.
Sean: (Narrating) The Joker shows off the Kryptonite to Lois and smashes it in half, in case for later, and Lois says this to Joker.
Lois Lane: (After Harley removes her gag) You sick, demented, murdering freak!
Harley Quinn: (Gasps) How rude!
"Okay, potential gold digging aside but I really love this Lois Lane in the animated series. She doesn't take shit from anyone." Sean said.
The Joker: You've got a front row seat for the story of the century, my dear. The death of Superman. (Laughs)
"Hey, Joker. Doomsday beat you to it with the comic, simply titled The Death of Superman." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Later, Batman shows off his Batwing and flies off into the sky to rescue Lois, while at the Metropolis PD, we see that Superman and Dan Turpin, voiced by the late Joseph Bologna are expecting a call from the Joker.
(The phone rings. But instead, it rings to the song Lollipop.)
(A clip from the Riverdale season two episode When a Stranger Calls plays)
(Betty looks up at Archie as her phone rings and Archie looks at Betty)
Betty Cooper (Played by Lili Reinhart) Oh, no.
Sean: (Narrating) The Joker contacts Superman and flashes his location to him and tells him to come alone and warns him not to bring anyone, which means no cops. Superman arrives at the location where the Joker is hiding at one of LexCorp's laboratories and he comes prepared, wearing his lead-lined anti-kryptonite suit. Yeah, like Superman was going to fall for one of the Joker's tricks. The Joker leads Superman to Lois but the Clown Prince of Crime has one trick up his sleeve.
The Joker: Oh, wait, that's it.
Superman: What?
The Joker: Silly me. I forgot the acid.
(Joker sprays acid from his flower to destroy Superman's suit, then throws the Kryptonite at him, exposing him to it)
"Yes! Boom! That was the most awesome thing that the Joker has done! See, this is why the Joker doesn't have to be all gritty and gangster and covered with tattoos. He should be unpredictable and clever. That's the Joker I know. Jared Leto, eat my shorts. Hamill, you are my number one guy." Sean said, imitating Jack Nicholson's Joker from Tim Burton's Batman.
Sean: (Narrating) But before the Joker could finish off Superman, Batman arrives and takes down some of his goons after Harley warns her puddin' that he arrived. Batman enters the room and finds Superman and Lois until…
(A clip from Return of the Jedi is shown)
Admiral Ackbar (Played by Tim Rose and voiced by the late Erik Bauersfeld): It's a trap!
(The doors are sealed shut)
The Joker: (Laughs) Two for the price of one. I love it.
(Joker gas is vented in the room)
The Joker: And the best part is you're all going out with a smile.
Harley Quinn: Have a happy…
(Batman throws the Kryptonite at the television)
"Yeah, great job, dumbass. Now, how will I watch the new season of American Housewife?" Sean asked.
Sean: (Narrating) Batman examines the contents in the room and finds some barrels of hydrochloric acid.
Batman: Hydrochloric acid. It would take a week to eat through the wall.
Superman: No. Wait. Kryp… Kryptonite.
Sean: (Narrating) Batman uses the acid to destroy the Kryptonite and recovering from it's effects Superman is able to smash the doors open, taking Batman and Lois with him and they confront the Joker.
Superman: It's over, Joker.
(The Joker throws a bag of marbles on the floor)
The Joker: It hasn't begun, Supey.
(Joker and Harley make their escape)
Superman: He's gotta be kidding.
(The marbles explode, which turns out to be grenades)
Superman: They're grenades.
Batman: Expect the unexpected.
"Really, Batman? A fine time to be funny, you asshole. Like I didn't know that they were grenades." Sean said, imitating Tim Daly's Superman.
Sean: (Narrating) The three of them flee the laboratory after it explodes and the next morning, Luthor makes a public statement to the press. But he is mighty pissed off with the Joker and Clark hears about Luthor's deal with the Joker. Which means it's time for 'ol Chrome Dome to pay a little visit. In his very own, special way.
(Mercy starts shooting at Joker and Harley with a machine gun as they both hide for cover)
"What's with these characters in the DC animated universe having the aim of a Stormtrooper? Take a look at some of these dummies shooting but not hitting anyone." Sean said.
(A clip from Batman: Mask of the Phantasm is shown, showing the Gotham City Police Department shooting at Batman, who's hiding in a construction site, then a clip from Sub-Zero is shown showing Dr. Gregory Belson shooting at Barbara Gordon, and finally clips from World's Finest is shown, showing some of the Joker's goons shooting at Bruce, Joker shooting at Bruce, his thugs shooting at Batman and Mercy shooting at Joker and Harley)
"Look, if you're going to shoot somebody, just shoot them and don't miss!" Sean yelled out.
Sean: (Narrating) Lex pays a visit to his business partner and he is not pleased about him using one of his laboratories, Joker calls out to Harley and Lex calls out to Mercy. You know what that means.
(Mercy does a flying kick on Harley and a fight ensues between them)
Mercy Graves (Voiced by Lisa Edelstein): Here's for that punch in the face.
(A clip from Seinfeld is shown)
Cosmo Kramer (Played by Michael Richards): Catfight?
Elaine Benes (Played by Julia Louis-Dreyfus): Okay, why? Why do guys do this? What is so appealing to men about a catfight?
Cosmo Kramer: Ye ye, catfight!
Jerry Seinfeld (Played by Jerry Seinfeld): Because men think if women are grabbing and clawing at each other, there's a chance they might somehow kiss.
(Kramer stammers)
Sean: (Narrating) And while all that is going on, Lex and Joker talk and…uh, guys.
Lex Luthor: Batman? He followed you to Metropolis?
(Harley and Mercy continue to fight)
Joker: Oh, right. Like it's my fault.
Sean: (V/O) There's a fight between two hot chicks going on. I think you might want to watch and stop talking.
(Mercy punches Harley in the face and chases her)
Joker: But if I have to cope with two men in tights, the price goes up.
Sean: (V/O) Yo! You're missing the whole fight! This is hotter than Fallon and her mother Alexis in the reboot of Dynasty. Shut the fuck and watch!
Lex Luthor: Mercy, let's go. Keep in mind, this is your last chance.
(Luthor and Mercy leave, while a dazed and beaten up Harley walks over to Joker)
Joker: How you doing, slugger?
Harley Quinn: A-okay, Mr. J.
(Joker pats Harley on the back and she faints)
"Well, that's just great. That's great. You missed the hottest catfight of the century and those two might've scissored! Looks like, I'm gonna have to write a dirty fanfic about Harley Quinn and Mercy Graves. You two idiots blew it. You lost your man card." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) After that hilarious scene, we cut to Clark arriving at Lois' apartment to check up on her and then he sees Bruce is there with her. He reveals to Lois and Bruce about how he believes that Luthor is involved with the Joker, but can't prove it yet. So Bruce decides to ask him. Which means Batmaning the shit out of his ass.
Lex Luthor: What do you want?
Batman: Information. Regarding a mutual acquaintance.
(Mercy sneaks behind Batman)
Lex Luthor: What are you talking about? I don't know any…
(Mercy attempts to attack Batman. Batman realizes her presence and knocks her unconscious)
"Jesus Christ on a Kentucky wildflower. Mercy's getting her ass handed to her in this episode. You know, for a personal bodyguard you do suck." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Batman and Luthor are soon interrupted by Luthor's guards as Batman leaves. Then, Luthor tells Mercy to call Joker and that he must be dealt with as well. Meanwhile at the Daily Planet, Lois tells Clark that she's planning on transferring to the Planet's Gotham City bureau to be closer to Bruce.
Clark Kent: Does this mean you and Bruce…?
Lois Lane: We haven't made a formal commitment or anything, but yeah. It's that serious.
"Really? I'm not sure how many days past in this crossover but those two have been on like two, one of which included gunplay and kidnapping. Lady, are you sure you're not confusing Bruce Wayne with Bruce Wallet? Sure you're not trying to get his Bat-Credit Card?
(A clip from the Nostalgia Critic's review of Batman & Robin is shown)
Nostalgia Critic: A Bat-Credit Card!
(A clip from The Godfather Part III is shown)
BJ Harrison (Played by George Hamilton): Now we had an agreement!
"Oops. Sorry." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Perry White, voiced by George Dzundza, breaks the news about a distress call from a cruise ship and Lois gets to work on the story while Clark sneaks away and flies off as Superman. Meanwhile, Bruce is working out at his hotel and he sees a blimp, inviting him to Hobbs Bay.
(Bruce sees the Joker's blimp with a sign on it that says "Laff Night At Hobbs Bay")
Bruce Wayne: What the devil is he up to now?
"Working a comedy club, It's amateur night. I have a lot of good stand-up comedy jokes that I've been working on. I can do one about my drunk Uncle Tony or as what my mom and members of the family like to call him "Jabba"." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Batman flies off to Hobbs Bay in his new Jet-Wing. Buy the action figure, kids. While Superman arrives at the cruise ship, the captain tells Superman that there's nothing wrong until they see a small boat next to the ocean liner transmitting a signal, which turns out to be a bomb, destroying the hull of the ship. Batman arrives at Hobbs Bay to contend with the Joker, until he deals with one of his new toys.
(The Wayne/Lex T-7 robot appears)
Joker: Think of it as a welcome wagon, Bats. Welcoming you to the nearest mortuary.
(The robot fires his laser as the Joker laughs)
Sean: (Narrating) And now we're on part three of World's Finest, where we see the ocean liner is sinking and Superman repairs the damage and prevents it from sinking. Back with Batman, we see him contending with the killer weaponized spider robot and the fight escalates and moves into the city with the robot on his tail and to the Daily Planet, in which he rescues Lois Lane.
Batman: Let me guess. You're the only one here.
(Lois nods her head as Batman snatches her up right when the Wayne/Lex T-7 robot attacks)
"Oh, boy. The janitor is going to have one hell of a night cleaning up that mess." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) The fight leads to the Planet's printing room as Batman fights off the killer robot, but he ends up losing his cape and cowl into the press.
(A clip from Batman: Mask of the Phantasm plays)
Andrea Beaumont (Voiced by Dana Delany): (After realizing who Batman is after standing near Thomas and Martha Wayne's grave) Bruce?
"Oops. Wrong cartoon." Sean said, picking up his remote.
Lois Lane: (After seeing who Batman is) Bruce?
(Cutaway Gag Starts)
Sean: (as Bruce Wayne, in his Batman outfit while fighting the robot) Oh, hi Lois. Oh, fu….
(Cutaway Gag Ends)
Sean: (Narrating) Batman manages destroy the robot by pushing it into the printing press…
(A clip from Tomorrow Never Dies is shown)
James Bond (Played by Pierce Brosnan): They'll print anything these days.
Sean: (Narrating) But he has a lot of explaining to do for Lois.
Lois Lane: So when were you gonna tell me? The honeymoon?
"Busted." Brian said.
Sean: (Narrating) Luthor learns that the robot failed to eliminate Batman and learns that he'll be connected to the crime, so he arranges one last meeting with Joker to cut his losses. Back at Lois' apartment, Lois is treating a wound on Bruce's shoulder and she is fifty shades of pissed off at the hunky billionaire.
Lois Lane: How could you have lied to me like that?
Bruce Wayne: Now, I never actually said I wasn't Batman.
(Lois slaps Bruce's wound on his shoulder)
Bruce Wayne: Ow!
Sean starts laughing a bit. "I love Lois, even though she's trying to get his wallet, she's got moxy and she doesn't take any sass."
Sean: (Narrating) As Lois leaves to get some iodine for his wound, Superman shows up to talk to him.
Superman: I see she's taking it well.
Bruce Wayne: It's ironic, you know. She likes Bruce Wayne and she likes Superman. It's the other two guys she's not crazy about.
Superman: Too bad we can't mix-and-match.
"Just wait until season three, Superman." Sean said, referencing the second Batman/Superman crossover episode Knight Time.
"See, this is how they should've done Dawn of Justice. Whoever wrote this, please take notes." Brian said.
Sean: (Narrating) Meanwhile, Lex has one last meeting with The Joker and Harley Quinn at LexCorp aeronautics factory and after having enough of the clown's shit, Luthor intends to kill them both by taking half of the Kryptonite and let them take the fall.
(A clip from Star Wars: The Force Awakens is shown)
Kylo Ren (Played by Adam Driver) TRAITOR!
Sean: (Narrating) But the two manage to turn the tables on Luthor and they steal a gigantic and heavily armed airship called the Lexwing.
"Mark Hamill flew an X-Wing in the Star Wars movies, now he's flying a Lexwing." Sean said as a comedic rimshot is heard.
(The Joker starts laughing while Mercy holds them at gunpoint)
Sean: (Narrating) And get this, Harley paints it so that it resembles a grinning mouth. (Chuckles)
Joker: I love to personalize all my stuff. (Laughs)
Sean: (Narrating) The Joker decides to kidnap Luthor and level Metropolis just to show what it's like to lose everything, just like he lost everything to Batman. And by losing everything, he means destroying everything that Luthor has built because he's built half of Metropolis. Batman and Superman arrive and they contend with the giant versions of the Wayne/Lex T-7 robots while the Joker takes off in the deadly airship in one of my favorite moments from part three of World's Finest. Batam and Superman destroy the robots and save Mercy as she tells them about the Joker's plans to destroy Metropolis but before they go after the psychotic clown, they have to contend with the second to last boss in a video game.
"A giant, larger and more advanced spider robot with half of the Kryptonite taped to it." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Batman goes after the Joker in his Batjet to stop him from destroying Metropolis and…
(The Lexwing fires its missiles on a Lexcorp building, destroying it.
Sean: (Narrating) Jesus!
(The Joker laughs)
"That's going to be a lot of money to repair for the damages. Probably about $50 million." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) While The Joker is raising some hell in the skies, Superman continues to fight the giant, Kryptonite-armed robot but gets his ass handed to him when the robot smashes a door on him. But just as all hope seems to have lost, Superman picks up the door and we get this awesome moment.
Superman: Lead-lined doors. I'll have to thank Luthor.
Sean: (Narrating) Superman destroys the giant spider robot and the Kryptonite after smashing it into a mountain. Back with Batman, he has a little dogfight with Joker by firing his missiles at the giant ship and we get one of my favorite Joker moments.
Joker: What do you got in the way of air-to-air missiles, Lex?
Lex Luthor: You're asking me for help?
Joker: If I go down, you go down.
Lex Luthor: It's a red switch.
Joker: Which red…? Oh, the heck with it.
(Joker starts pushing buttons)
"What's this button do? What's this button do? What's this button?" Sean said, imitating The Joker and starts laughing like him.
Sean: (Narrating) Batman climbs aboard and enters the destructive ship to fight Joker while Superman arrives just in the nick of time to steer the plane away from colliding into a building with everyone on board. While fighting Batman, Joker accidentally drops his entire bag of marble grenades and they start to go off as Superman, Batman, Luthor and Harley get out of the Lexwing. As for Joker, he is left behind to meet his doom, and we get his second Epic Joker Laugh.
(As the grenades explode, the Joker starts laughing maniacally in the face of death as the Lexwing explodes)
"And just like that, The Joker is finally, positively, truly, surely, absolutely, stone cold dead." Sean said, then starts laughing. While he's busy laughing, an audience starts laughing as well and also Brian and Dave, who start laughing as well.
(We get a montage of different characters from different movies and television shows laughing: Valentin Zukovsky and his men from GoldenEye laughing, Charlie Murphy from Chappelle's Show laughing, the Nostalgia Critic laughing, J. Jonah Jameson from Spider-Man 2 laughing, Kevin from Home Alone 2: Lost in New York laughing, Sal Vulcano from Impractical Jokers laughing and falling to the floor)
"The Joker, dead!" Sean continues to laugh as the room is filled with hearty laughs.
Mercy Graves: Now that's funny. (Laughs) Ow!
Harley Quinn: Puddin'!
Batman: At this point, he probably is.
"Ohhh! Damn! That just got dark. But can you blame him? He sure couldn't and an exploding plane." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) And thus, all is right in the world and the day is saved. Luthor is exonerated for his involvement with the Joker and Bruce terminates his partnership with LexCorp, Harley Quinn is returned to Arkham in a more hilarious way.
Harley Quinn: I want a doctor! I want a lawyer! I want a cheese sandwich!
"Wait, what? A doctor and a lawyer, I get. But why a cheese sandwich? Get me a mega monster burger with unlimited fries from IHOP." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) And our heroes settled their differences and earned their newfound respect for each other. As Bruce prepares to leave for Gotham, Lois ends her romance with him and realizes that she could never have him due to his commitment to being Batman and she decides to stay in Metropolis. And Clark and Bruce say their goodbyes to each other.
Bruce Wayne: Come to make sure I'm leaving?
Clark Kent: Actually, I thought we worked pretty well together. Not that I wanna make it a regular event.
"Don't worry. We still have two more crossover episodes in season three and Justice League. It's gonna be a regular event." Sean said, imitating Bruce Wayne
Bruce Wayne: She's all yours now, if you can handle that. But you'd better be good to her, because I know where you live.
Sean: (Narrating) Ah, there's nothing better than a good ol' fashioned death threat between friends, right? Good times, good times. And the episode ends with Bruce flying back to Gotham City while Clark sees him off.
"And that was World's Finest. And yes, it's that damn good." Sean said.
(Clips from World's Finest starts playing)
Sean: (Narrating) I mean, what is there to say about this episode. You have an excellent story that's very engaging and well-paced, the animation is well done and superb as always, you have exciting action, great humor and the two main characters having fairly equal screen time. Hell, this should've been the real Dawn of Justice right there. This episode is a great example of the DC animated universe. Plus, the voice cast is awesome as always. If you own The Batman/Superman Movie or Superman: The Animated Series on DVD, watch it. I recommend it. That's why I'm giving World's Finest 5 Joker cards out of 5.
"That's all the time we have for Sean's Story Arc. I'm Sean the Mayhem Critic, and I'll see you guys next time." Sean said before getting up from off of his couch and leaves the living room.
And that's all for the Mayhem Critic's review of the Superman: TAS episode World's Finest? Did you enjoy reading the new chapter and did you enjoy watching the episode when you watched it for the first time? I have and I still do. Next time on The Mayhem Critic, I will be reviewing either The Godfather Part III or Ghostbusters II. Which one do you want me to review?
The Godfather Part III: Sean takes a look at the final chapter of Francis Ford Coppola's film series and asks the question, "What the hell was Coppola thinking?".
Or
Ghostbusters II: Sean takes a look at the sequel to the 1984 hit to see if it's the best sequel ever and gets haunted by two film critics from the past. Who could they be?
Don't forget to review this chapter, add this story to your favorites and follow it for future updates. Also, if you haven't checked out the GoldenEye review, feel free to read and review it. I'll see you guys next time for the next chapter. Till next time, my fellow readers.