The Mayhem Critic
Hello, my fellow readers. It is I, the great James Stryker bringing you another hilarious chapter of The Mayhem Critic. Today, as Halloween Havoc continues, Sean and his friend Brian take a look at the sequel to one of their favorite horror films in honor of the upcoming Halloween film coming up, Halloween II, the 1981 version not the crappy 2009 Rob Zombie version. So here it is, the new chapter of The Mayhem Critic. Enjoy.
P.S.: As before, I do not own anything involved in this story. All material belong to their respective sources. Halloween II is owned by Universal Pictures, Moustapha Akkad and Dino Di Laurentiis Corporation.
Episode Thirty-Five
Halloween II (1981)
(We get the intro to Halloween Havoc before the review starts)
After the intro to Halloween Havoc ends, we see Sean and his friend Brian both sitting on the couch in Sean's living room as they get ready to talk about today's feature.
"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. I'm Sean the Mayhem Critic, the critic that rips movies a new one." Sean said.
"And I'm Sean's friend Brian." Brian said.
"And welcome to another installment of Halloween Havoc." Sean said and starts laughing in a sinister way while lightning strikes and the sound of an eerie organ playing. "Let's talk about Halloween."
(Clips from John Carpenter's Halloween is shown)
Sean: (Narrating) Halloween is a horror film that I considered to be a masterpiece. The film was inspired by the work of Alfred Hitchcock's Psycho, the movie made a budget of $300,000. It became one of the most profitable independent films. The film helped popularize the final girl trope in movies and it was the first film to introduced the concept of the killer being a seemingly, indestructible force. Famous slasher movie villains like Freddy Kruger, Jason Voorheeves and Ghostface from Scream owe their thanks to Michael Myers.
Brian: (Narrating) A great cast, including Jamie Lee Curtis and the late Donald Pleasence, one of my favorite British actors.
Sean: (Narrating) And with the new Halloween coming out, you know as fans of the original. We're hyped. I was a bit skeptical at first when I found out that it was written by the director of Pineapple Express David Gordon Green and actor Danny McBride. When I read about it, I thought to myself that they're gonna turn it into a comedy but it's gonna be a horror film. And you know what? They did a hell of a good job. From what I'm hearing, it's been getting positive reviews from critics, with many considering it to be both the best Halloween sequel and a pretty nice return of the film series. Plus, we have Jamie Lee Curtis and Nick Castle reprising their roles as Laurie Strode and Michael Myers.
"But hey, you can't talk about Halloween without talking about the sequels." Sean said, sighing a bit. "My God, the sequels."
"Ugh, some were okay. Others were terrible." Brian said.
Sean: (Narrating) After Halloween came out and Friday the 13th hit at the box office in 1980, those movies spawned a slew of slasher clones. Films like Terror Train which starred Jamie Lee Curtis, My Bloody Valentine, New Year's Evil and Prom Night another film that starred Jamie Lee Curtis. Then some nut up at Universal Pictures thought "You know what we can make a sequel to after the success of the original? Oh, I know. Halloween."
"In case you didn't get the joke, it's Halloween II." Sean said before clips from the film are shown.
(The movie's title screen is shown as well as clips from the movie)
Sean: (Narrating) The sequel to one of the greatest horror films ever from one of the greatest directors of all time. Halloween II was released in theaters on October 30, 1981. What do you know? The day before Halloween. How ironic. Now, doing a sequel to this masterpiece could be a good thing if you do it right. The keyword is right.
Brian: (Narrating) The film picks up immediately after the events of the first film.
Sean: (Narrating) But the question is this, does this film need a sequel? Hell, the late Moustapha Akkad thought it would be a good idea to do so. The film was written by John Carpenter and the late Debra Hill. Instead of Carpenter directing the film, the movie was directed by Rick Rosenthal, who's known for directing the films Bad Boys,American Dreamer, Russkies starring a young Joaquin Phoenix and Peter Billingslea and…
(A poster for Halloween: Resurrection and a photo of Busta Rhymes is shown)
"Ugh!" Sean rolled his eyes in disgust. "A movie that the Internet will not be so kind to."
"The only good thing I liked was the music score." Brian said.
"Well, let's take a look at more of the night he came home. This is Halloween II. The 1981 version, not the Rob Zombie version. Just watch." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) The movie opens with the song Mr. Sandman. A change of pace for the theme song, I guess. Then we open right when the first film ended. A re-enactment of the first film's ending, where we see Laurie Strode, once again played by Jamie Lee Curtis. But here's what different from this scene and the scene in the first movie.
(A clip from Halloween is shown)
Laurie Strode (Played by Jamie Lee Curtis): Come here and just listen to me. I want you to go down the stairs and out the front door and I want you to go down the street to the Mackenzies' house. I want you to tell them to call the police and tell them to send them over here. Now, do you understand me?
Tommy Doyle (Played by Brian Andrews): Yes.
Laurie Strode: Go do as I say.
Sean: (Narrating) Now let's take a look at the sequel.
Laurie Strode: I want you to listen to me. I want you to go out of the house and down the street to the Mackenzies' house. I want you to knock on their door and I want you to tell them to call the police and send them over here. All right? Now do as I say.
Tommy Doyle: All right.
Laurie Strode: Go.
"Notice anything different?" Sean asked.
"The dialogue's different." Brian said.
"Yep. The dialogue is different. She didn't tell them to go down the stairs and out the front door. And I seem to recall her hand being on Tommy's shoulder. She didn't tell them to knock on the door in the first film. And I remember her saying "Now, do you understand me?" before she said "Now do as I say." And she never said "Go" as they were leaving either. Okay, so that's points taken off for changing the dialogue. Let's see what else is different." Sean said.
(Dr. Loomis shoots Michael Myers seven times. After Loomis shoots him, Michael falls off the balcony)
"He fired seven bullets into Michael. Wow, I did not know that a standard issue revolver holds seven bullets. It's either that or he mastered the unlimited ammo cheat code." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) In case you were wondering, he did fire six shots into Michael in the original film.
(We cut back to a clip from Halloween, we see Dr. Loomis shoot Michael six times)
"Different sound for the gun firing, too." Brian pointed out.
"They got a different sound editor for the movie." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Also, when Laurie rips Michael's mask off of his face, we don't see his face even though they clearly showed his face in the original.
Laurie Strode: Was it the boogeyman?
Dr. Sam Loomis (Played by the late Donald Pleasence): As a matter of fact, it was.
"Okay, that part was actually shot-for-shot the original film. Good job, movie. Let's see if you can keep it up." Sean said.
(We see Dr. Loomis walking out the front door and sees that Michael's body is gone, his eyes widened in shock)
"Wait, wait, wait. He walked out the front door? Uh, whatever happened to Dr. Loomis looking out the balcony with that creepy-ass "I knew this would happen" look in his eyes? In this one, he walks out the door and he makes that "Holy shit! This just happened!" look. And Michael leaves an imprint on the ground like a character from Looney Tunes. God, this is the most half-assed sequel re-enactment I have ever seen in my life!" Sean yelled out.
(A clip from Back to the Future Part II is shown)
Sean: (Narrating) If you want a perfect example of a sequel re-enactment, take a look at Back to the Future Part II. They did a re-enactment of the final scene from the first film at the beginning of the movie and it wasn't note-for-note the same thing as the original. But at least in the re-enactment, the dialogue is the same and they have a reason to do a re-enactment in the first place. Claudia Wells, who played Marty's girlfriend Jennifer Parker in the first film, was to reprise the role, but she turned it down due to personal issues. So, the producers cast Elisabeth Shue from Adventures in Babysitting and Cocktail to play Jennifer Parker. So, give Back to the Future II some credit, at least they have a reason to do a re-enactment.
"John Carpenter and Debra Hill wrote and produced this film and trust me, we'll get to that later. But couldn't they at least tell Rick Rosenthal and by the way this was Rosenthal's directorial debut, to insert the actual ending of the film? God, we're not past the four minute mark and this film is starting to piss me off!" Sean yelled.
Brian: (Narrating) So, after the intro, we get the opening credits of the film and you'll notice that the Halloween theme has got a major upgrade.
(The theme for Halloween II plays throughout the opening credits)
"Great version of the theme." Brian said.
Sean: (Narrating) (After seeing the film editor's name is Skip Schoolnik): Hey, I guess Mark Goldblatt is gonna skip school, Nick.
"Get it? Skip school, Nick? See, the film editor's name is Skip Schoolnik and I had to make a pun." Sean said, laughing a bit.
Sean: (Narrating) But what's this? The jack-o-lantern has a little surprise inside.
(The jack-o-lantern opens up, revealing a skull)
"Revealing the head of Mr. Skullhead from Tiny Toon Adventures." Sean said.
Brian: (Narrating) After the opening credits end, we get a few nice shots of Michael's POV and he hides from Dr. Loomis after he sees him reuniting with Sheriff Leigh Brackett, once again played by Charles Cyphers, and Dr. Loomis says this.
Dr. Sam Loomis: I shot him six times!
"No, you didn't." Sean said.
Dr. Sam Loomis: I shot him six times!
"No, you didn't. You shot him seven times." Sean said.
Dr. Sam Loomis: I shot him in the heart!
Sheriff Leigh Brackett (Played by Charles Cyphers): He can't have gotten very far. Come on.
Dr. Sam Loomis: I shot him six times!
"SEVEN! You shot him seven times, learn to fucking count!" Sean yelled out.
Sean: (Narrating) We get a few more shots from Michael's POV as we see him steal a knife from the home of an elderly couple and proceeds to stalk some random teen named Alice, played by Anne Bruner, and he kills her.
"Well, that was pointless." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) After Michael kills this random teen, we cut to Laurie Strode, who's being taken to Haddonfield Memorial Hospital and we're introduced to two characters who are important to the film. Jimmy Lloyd played by Lance Guest from The Last Starfighter and Budd played by Leo Rossi from the Relentless film quadrilogy.
Jimmy Lloyd (Played by Lance Guest): Laurie, can you hear me?
Laurie Strode: Don't let them put me to sleep.
Jimmy Lloyd: It's all right. Take it easy. We're gonna go to the clinic. Alright?
Laurie Strode: Don't let them put me to sleep.
"Afraid she'll have nightmares." Brian said.
"Either that or a nightmare of a dancing Michael Myers." Sean said.
(We cut to Decker Shado's review of Halloween II, showing a man dressed as Michael Myers dancing to the Halloween theme)
Brian: (Narrating) While Laurie is being taken to the hospital, we see a panicked mother taking her son to the hospital.
(We see a boy holding a towel up to his mouth, revealing a razor blade in his mouth)
Mother: Oh, God. Here. Just put it up there real gently. You okay? Let's go. Just walk real slow. Come on.
"And this is why I stop trick or treating. Because your Halloween candy might get sabotaged. Dude, call Adam to tell him not to take Aaron trick or treating because he might bite into something more than a Reese's peanut butter cup." Sean said.
"I'll do that, thanks." Brian said.
(We see the boy leave the hospital with his mother. We see the boy holding an ice pack to his mouth)
Boy: My mouth is numb.
Mother: What?
Boy: My mouth is numb.
Mother: Oh, sweetie. I can't understand you. Look, we'll play some games tonight and…
"Well, that was entirely pointless." Sean said.
"Yeah, wasn't needed at all." Brian said.
Sean: (Narrating) We're introduced to more of the hospital staff when one of the doctors, a drunk doctor named Dr. Mixter, played by Ford Rainey from the TV miniseries Amerika and he ends up putting her to sleep.
"Really? You're gonna put her to sleep after she tells you not to put her to sleep? What kind of doctor are you?" Sean asked.
"A drunk doctor." Brian said.
Sean: (Narrating) Meanwhile, Dr. Loomis and Sheriff Brackett are both on the hunt for Michael Myers and Brackett bitches at him for letting him out, even though he didn't let him out.
Dr. Sam Loomis: The primary concern is that we stop him.
Sheriff Leigh Brackett: You let him out.
Dr. Sam Loomis: I didn't let him out.
"Blame the psychologist." Brian said.
Sean: (Narrating) And remember how Dr. Loomis was the calm yet very worried doctor from the original film?
Brian: (Narrating) He's now an armed vigilante when he chases a suspicious figure who's dressed as Michael Myers.
"What the hell did they do with Donald Pleasence?" Brian asked.
Dr. Sam Loomis: Get back! Run! Go on, run! Move it! Get back! Get back, you kids. Run! Move it!
(Children screaming)
(A person dressed as Michael Myers keeps walking away while Loomis chases. Sheriff Brackett goes after Dr. Loomis and tries to stop him from shooting the kid)
Dr. Sam Loomis: (Points his gun at the man) Stop!
Sheriff Leigh Brackett: Don't shoot!
(A police car appears and hits the kid dressed as Michael Myers into a van. The van explodes)
"Jesus Christ! Who took over for Rick Rosenthal, Michael Bay?" Sean asked.
Sheriff Leigh Brackett: Is it him?
(Loomis sees the body burning)
Sheriff Leigh Brackett: Is it him or not?
"How the hell should I know? The dude is flaming like Brad Loekle." Sean said.
Brian: (Narrating) Brackett finally gets word on the three victims from the last movie and Deputy Gary Hunt, played by Hunter von Leer, tells Sheriff Brackett that one of his victims is his daughter Annie.
Sean: (Narrating) So, the three of them head down to the house across from the Doyle house, where we get a small cameo from future SNL star Dana Carvey.
"Dana Carvey in a Michael Myers movie. Wrong Mike Myers, pal." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Then, Brackett has the terrifying task of identifying his daughter Annie, played by Nancy Kyes, and he straight up blames Dr. Loomis.
Sheriff Leigh Brackett: Damn you. What have you done?
Dr. Sam Loomis: I haven't done anything.
Sheriff Leigh Brackett: You let him out!
Dr. Sam Loomis: I didn't let him out. I-I gave orders for him to be restrained.
"Damn you! Goddamn you! No! No, Danielle Harris!" Sean cried out, imitating Brad Dourif's Sheriff Brackett from Rob Zombie's Halloween II. "Oh, wait. That was Brad Dourif. I was supposed to imitate Cyphers. You let him out! Damn you!"
Brian: (Narrating) Then, Dr. Loomis gives Deputy Hunt one of his badass speeches.
Dr. Sam Loomis: He was my patient for 15 years. He became an obsession with me until I realized that there was nothing within him, neither conscience nor reason that was even remotely human.
Sean: (Narrating) Okay, I have to admit. It's great to hear Loomis' speeches. They're the only good things about the movies. Even though the sequels suck, with the exception of this one, Halloween 4 and Halloween H20, Donald Pleasence is the most badass pimp ever.
"Not bad for a guy who's first American role was in an episode of The Twilight Zone." Brian said.
Sean: (Narrating) Meanwhile, The Shape is on the loose and he's tracking down Laurie to Haddonfield Memorial Hospital. And I neglected to mention that Michael Myers a.k.a. The Shape is played by Dick "I Swear I'm Not A Pornstar" Warlock.
"Dick Warlock. My God, when you hear the name Dick Warlock, you're probably thinking that this is the most porniest porn star name you've ever heard in your life. You have porn names like Long Dong Silver, Dick Cummings, Pipe Layer and Johnson Biggs. Then, you have Dick Warlock. Geez, it sounds like that he could be in a movie for Wicked Pictures.
(Cutaway Gag Starts)
Sean: (as Announcer) From Wicked Pictures. Don't miss these hot babes like Zoey Monroe, Scarlett Sage, Ivy Wolfe, Honey Gold, Kali Roses, Whitney Wright, Kira Noir and Abella Danger in the hottest movie ever made starring the man himself, Dick Warlock. Dick Warlock star in The Name's Warlock, Dick Warlock. Coming too soon.
(Cutaway Gag Ends)
Brian: (Narrating) Back at the hospital, we're introduced to some more of Michael Myers' victims, I mean the more of the hospital staff. Security guard Bernard Garrett, played by Cliff Emmich who's from Cincinnati, Ohio.
Sean: (Narrating) We're also introduced to Nurse Ratched, I mean the head nurse Virginia Alves, played by Gloria Gifford from D.C. Cab, Janet played by Ana Alicia from Falcon Crest, Nurse Karen played by Pamela Susan Shoop from Empire of the Ants and Nurse Jill Franco played by Tawny Moyer from Neil Simon's California Suite.
Brian: (Narrating) We see that Budd, Janet and Jimmy are in the break room talking about Michael Myers and we get some witty dialogue from Budd.
Janet (Played by Ana Alicia): Every other word you say is either hell or shit or damn.
Budd (Played by Leo Rossi): I'm sorry. I guess I just fuck up all the time.
"This ain't ER." Brian said.
Budd: (Singing) Amazing Grace. Come sit on my face. Don't make me cry, I need your pie.
"And Budd can be crude at times. He just ruined Amazing Grace for me and for black churches everywhere." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Meanwhile, we get some more shots from Michael's P.O.V. when we see him sneaking throughout the hospital and… (Sean sees Michael in the maternity ward and hears the babies cooing) Leave those babies alone! After that, we see the older version of Chase Matthews from Zoey 101 checking up on Laurie and I have to say I like that character. And in Film Master Adam's review of Halloween II, he said that he started bitching about the character.
(A clip from Film Master Adam's review of Halloween II '81 is shown)
Adam: The one character I do hate in this movie is this guy. Jimmy Lloyd, the fucking character who everybody seems to like in this film I personally cannot stand. Why? Because he's creepy as hell! He is the very definition of a creeper. A hot medical patient is rolled into the hospital on a gurney with a stab wound and a cracked bone and the first thing he does is put the moves on her? That's just sick.
"You know what? Adam, I like your review of Halloween II but I'm sorry I'm gonna say this, fuck you for hating Jimmy Lloyd." Sean said, putting up the middle finger with a smile on his face.
"Not sure why, but I keep seeing Laurie as a blonde." Brian said.
Brian: (Narrating) Jimmy develops some romantic feelings for Laurie, much to the dismay of Nurse Alves and he tells Laurie that the man who attacked her was Michael Myers.
Laurie Strode: That little kid who killed his sister?
Jimmy Lloyd: Yeah.
Laurie Strode: But he's in a hospital somewhere.
Jimmy Lloyd: He escaped last night.
Laurie Strode: How do you know?
Jimmy Lloyd: It's all over the radio. Television too.
"It's even on Twitter as well. President Trump tweeted about Michael Myers." Sean said, looking at his phone.
Laurie Strode: Why me? I mean, why me?
"Because of a stupid plot twist John Carpenter came up with while he was drunk." Brian said.
Sean: (Narrating) After Nurse Alves kicks Jimmy out, she tries to contact Laurie's parents but she can't get a call out, which means that Michael Myers cut the phone lines. So, she sends Jenny and Mr. Garrett to see if he can fix the problem. Mr. Garrett heads outside and finds something in the dumpster.
(A cat pops out and jumps on Mr. Garrett, knocking him down as the cat screeches)
"CAT!" Sean and Brian both screamed out.
(A clip from I Am Frankie plays)
Dayton Reyes (Played by Nicole Alyse Nelson): Gecko!
Frankie Gaines (Played by Alex Hook): Gecko!
"Hey, we said "cat" not "gecko". Get it right." Sean said, glaring at the camera.
"What's a gecko anyway?" Brian asked.
"It's a lizard. Kinda like the gecko from the Geico commercial." Sean said.
Brian: (Narrating) With that jump scare out of the way, Garrett's investigation continues when he notices the door to the storage room is left ajar. It's time to call this in.
Bernard Garrett (Played by Cliff Emmich): I think somebody broke into the storeroom. The lock was off.
(Static is coming from the walkie talkie as Janet tries to figure out how to use it)
Janet: Mr. Garrett? I can't hear you.
Bernard Garrett: One of you had better drive down to the sheriff's station right away.
(Janet fiddles around with the walkie talkie once more)
Janet: Mr. Garrett, how do you work this thing?
"Dammit Janet! Do you even know how to work the damn thing?!" Sean exclaimed.
Sean: (Narrating) Mr. Garrett continues to snoop around in the storage room after hearing a suspicious noise coming from the closet. Behind door number 1…
(Garrett opens the closet as a bunch of supplies falls on him)
Sean: (Narrating) Nothing. Behind door number 2…
(Garrett opens another door)
Sean: (Narrating) Nothing.
"And let's see what's behind door number 3." Sean said.
(Michael Myers appears behind Mr. Garrett with a hammer)
(A sound clip from M.C. Hammer's U Can't Touch This plays)
M.C. Hammer: Stop, Hammer Time!
(Michael brings the claw end of the hammer down atop Garrett's head, killing him)
"Well, Chuck. It looks like Bernard Garrett has won a hammer to the skull." Brian said, in his game show announcer voice.
"You know this death looks oddly familiar, I can't put my finger on it." Sean said.
(A clip from Friday the 13th Part 2 is shown. The clip shows the character Deputy Winslow getting stabbed in the back of the head with the claw end of the hammer by Jason)
"Rip off." Brian said, coughing as he did.
"Oh, yeah. Friday the 13th Part 2 did the exact same thing. Which is weird because Friday the 13th Part 2 came out in April 30th, 1981 and Halloween II came out in October 30th, 1981. I guess it was payback for Friday the 13th ripping off Halloween." Sean said.
Brian: (Narrating) Back to Dr. Loomis, we see that him, Deputy Hunt and Graham the medical examiner, played by Jeffrey Kramer from Jaws and Jaws 2, are going over the charred remains of whom they believe to be Michael Myers.
Graham (Played by Jeffrey Kramer): He's young. Maybe 17. Maybe 18.
Dr. Sam Loomis: Michael Myers is 21.
"What?" Sean asked.
(A clip from Seinfeld is shown)
Jerry Seinfeld: Excuse me?
"Michael Myers is 21? Uh, in the end credits he was listed as age 23. So, what gives? If Michael was 6 years old in 1963 and 15 years later in 1978, he would be 21. In 1963, he would be 8 years old and 15 years later he would be 23. You guys fucked up on his age." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) After Loomis and Hunt leave the medical examiner's office, they learn about a little commotion taking place at the old Myers house, where a group of angry townspeople are throwing rocks and at the windows and shouting. Then, Dr. Loomis gives one of his badass speeches once more.
Deputy Gary Hunt: You know, Haddonfield was a quiet town before tonight. The only gunshots you ever heard were to start the track meet at the local high school.
Dr. Sam Loomis: Yet one night in 1963, Michael Myers did murder his sister in that upstairs bedroom with a large butcher knife.
Deputy Gary Hunt: I remember.
Dr. Sam Loomis: On Halloween.
Deputy Gary Hunt: I was 16 years old.
Dr. Sam Loomis: It's his anniversary, Mr. Hunt. He came back.
Deputy Gary Hunt: After 15 years?
Dr. Sam Loomis: He waited with extraordinary patience. There was a force inside him biding it's time. The staff grew accustomed to his immobility and silence. In many ways, he was the ideal patient. He didn't talk, he didn't cry. He didn't even move. He just waited. The staff was unprepared. They didn't know what he was.
Deputy Gary Hunt: Did you know?
Dr. Sam Loomis: Yeah, I knew.
"He's so great at monologues." Brian said.
Brian: (Narrating) After hearing another one of Loomis' awesome speeches, two boys approach Loomis and Hunt, one of the boys is played by Billy Warlock, who you might recognize as A.J. Quartermaine from General Hospital, Eddie Kramer from Baywatch and Ross Rayburn from One Life to Live. Oh, and he's also the son of Dick Warlock, Michael Myers' portrayer. The two boys are looking for their friend Ben Tramer and that he isn't back yet and Loomis and Hunt learn that Ben Tramer was the one wearing the mask. Wait, what?
(A clip from Halloween is shown)
Laurie Strode: I'd rather go out with Ben Tramer.
Annie Brackett (Played by Nancy Kyes): Ben Tramer? I knew it! (Laughs)
"Weird, the only time we ever see him on-screen is when he dies in a car crash." Brian said."
"Okay, that is unacceptable and someone needs to be held accountable!" Sean yelled out. "Way to treat Ben Tramer like trash. So, please. If you join me for a moment of silence."
(Sarah McLachlan's I Will Remember You starts playing and we see a photo of Ben Tramer with the words "Ben Tramer, You Will Be Missed")
"And back to the story." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Back at the hospital, Laurie starts to have a dream, where we see a young Laurie Strode played by Nichole Drucker, talking to her mother played by Pamela McMyler.
Young Laurie (Played by Nichole Drucker): Why don't you tell me? Why won't you ever tell me anything?
Laurie's Mother (Played by Pamela McMyler): I told you… I'm not your mother.
Sean: (Narrating) And in the next part of the dream, we see Laurie as a little girl again , this time at a hospital where she sees a young Michael Myers sitting in a chair. Huh? Weird. Anyway, back to more of the victims. We see that Budd and Karen are meeting up for some private time in the therapy room and….
(Karen removes her towel, revealing her bare breasts in front of Budd. Her breasts are censored with Sean's face on it)
"HELLOOOOOOOOOOO NURSE!" Sean and Brian both yelled out.
"They're hot tubbin'." Brian said.
Brian: (Narrating) And they're about to break one of the rules to successfully survive in the horror movie. Does anyone know what one of the rules are?
"Anybody? Anybody? Yes, Jamie Kennedy from Scream?" Brian said, pointing away from the camera.
(A clip from Scream is shown)
Randy Meeks (Played by Jamie Kennedy): Number 1: You can never have sex.
"Correct, sir." Brian said.
"And you know what sex means? Sex equals death. Which these two deserve right now for breaking the rules." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) But then things start to heat up literally when Michael decides to turn up the heat.
Karen (Played by Pamela Susan Shoop): Whoo! It's hot in here.
Budd: It's just me.
Karen: I'm not kidding. It's too hot in here now. Why don't you go check it?
Budd: It's cold out there.
"I'm gonna suffer from shrinkage like George Costanza. I need to stay big." Sean said, imitating Budd.
Brian: (Narrating) Budd gets out and goes to the other room to check on the temperature and Michael goes Agent 47 on his ass by garroting him and then he toys with Karen for a bit before we get one of the best kills of the movie.
Karen: Now, Budd, don't be that way.
(Karen sees Michael and starts screaming. Michael then proceeds to dunk Karen into the scalding hot water until the skin on her face blisters and boils, killing her)
"Read the actress got some kind of ear infection from the water." Brian said.
Sean: (Narrating) Meanwhile, Loomis, Hunt and several officers investigate a break-in at Haddonfield Elementary, where Michael made a stop at and they find traces of blood on several desks and a butcher knife sticking through a crayon drawing of Judith Myers. But what's this? They find a message on the blackboard written in blood.
(They see the word "Samhain" written on the blackboard in blood)
Dr. Sam Loomis: Samhaim.
"Uh, doc. I hate to burst your bubble here but I think it's pronounced "sowin"." Sean said, pronouncing the word Samhain correctly.
Dr. Sam Loomis: It means the Lord of the Dead. The end of summer.
"Darkness! It means the Lord of Darkness." Sean said, correcting Loomis once more.
Dr. Sam Loomis: The Festival of Samhain.
"You fu… sowin!" Sean yelled out.
Brian: (Narrating) But their little history lesson on Samhain is interrupted when Marion Chambers arrives. She's once again played by Nancy Stephens.
"Fun fact: she's married to the film's director Rick Rosenthal." Sean pointed out.
Brian: (Narrating) She's here to pick Dr. Loomis up and to take him back to Smith's Grove and away from Haddonfield under the governor's order. Back at the hospital, we see that the medication they gave Laurie left her wide-eyed and unresponsive, so Janet runs to Dr. Mixter's office, who's not responding.
Janet: Dr. Mixter?
(Janet spins Dr. Mixter's chair around, only to find him dead with a needle sticking out his eye)
"Hey, I guess he saw that one coming." Sean said as a comedic drum roll rimshot plays in the background.
Sean: (Narrating) Michael comes out and attacks Janet from behind by injecting her with a needle into her temple and kills her. Then, Michael goes to Laurie's room to kill her but he ends up stabbing a pillow repeatedly with the scalpel. But hey, Laurie escapes with only a cracked leg and still suffering from the side effects from the medication and hides out in a room. Meanwhile, Jill and Jimmy start to realize that they can't find anyone in the hospital, and Jimmy tries to find some signs for life until he finds Mrs. Alves tied to the operating table where she becomes a victim to one of Michael's specialty kills…. Having an I.V. running out of her arm and drained of her blood, then this happens.
(Jimmy turns around to get help, but slips in Mrs. Alves' blood and falls to the floor, knocking himself out unconscious)
"I guess that's where Martin Scorsese inspired that scene where Nick Nolte slips and falls in Joe Don Baker's blood in the 1991 remake of Cape Fear." Sean said.
Brian: (Narrating) Meanwhile, Nurse Jill runs to her car to get some help, only to find that her car has been sabotaged and her tires slashed along with the other vehicles. So, the smart thing she does is run back inside and finds Laurie and a surprise visitor.
Nurse Jill Franco (Played by Tawny Moyer): Laurie!
(Laurie, who's still in a daze turns around and sees Nurse Jill)
Nurse Jill Franco: Laurie! Laurie, wait.
(Laurie tries to walk away)
Nurse Jill Franco: Wait! Laurie!
(Michael comes up behind Nurse Jill and stabs her in the back with a scalpel, lifting her up)
"Okay, how the fuck is that even possible?" Sean asked.
"You expect her to run while she's zonked out on pain meds?" Brian asked.
Sean: (Narrating) And she does and Michael chases her (in his slo-mo voice) very slowly, (in his normal voice) but Laurie manages to escape and make her way outside only to hide in a car. Meanwhile, Loomis is in the car with Marion about to leave Haddonfield when she drops a stunning revelation to Dr. Loomis.
Marion Chambers (Played by Nancy Stephens): That girl, that Strode girl, that's Michael Myers' sister. She was born two years before he was committed. Two years after, his parents died and she was adopted by the Strodes. They requested that the records be sealed in order to protect the family.
Dr. Sam Loomis: Geez! Don't you see what he's doing here in Haddonfield? He killed one sister 15 years ago, now he's trying to kill the other!
"Cue the franchise being ruined." Brian said,
"What a twist! The most stupidest twist I've ever heard in my life! There's jumping the shark, nuking the fridge, frying the Coke and then there's this. Laurie is Michael's sister? Are you kidding me?! And yeah, remember when I said that John Carpenter and Debra Hill wrote this movie. Hell, John Carpenter called the sibling twist a terrible and stupid idea and this is a true story, he was drunk when he came up with the plot development. He said in an article for Dread Central and I quote…" Sean said.
"Well, okay. Here's how it was. I made Halloween, and then Halloween was sold to NBC to show it. But it was too short- they needed it to be a certain length. So I had to go back and shoot some more footage to make it longer. And I was absolutely stuck. I didn't know what to do. I mean, the movie is the movie- I don't want to touch it. But everybody will be happy with me, and they'll make money, and that's great. So I had to come up with something. I think it was, perhaps, a late night fueled by alcoholic beverages, was the idea. A terrible, stupid idea! But that's what we did."
-John Carpenter
"So yeah, because of some liquid courage, the sister twist was incorporated into the extended TV version of Halloween and carried on throughout the sequels and the Rob Zombie reboots." Sean said, taking a sip of Heineken.
"Worst. Twist. Ever." Brian said in his Comic Book Guy voice.
"So, Carpenter admits that he fouled up. Blame it on the alcohol, baby." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Loomis learns that Michael's headed to the hospital to finish the job, so he orders the marshal to turn the car around… at gunpoint.
Marshal (Played by the late John Zenda): Doctor, you're getting yourself into a lot of trouble.
Dr. Sam Loomis: What do you fellows usually do? Fire a warning shot, right?
(Loomis shoots out the car window)
"Jesus! Calm down, doc. You're getting carried away with the gun." Sean said.
Brian: (Narrating) But hey, on the plus side, Jimmy is still alive but he ends up passing out in the car. Jamie crawls out of the car, only to see the marshal's vehicle arriving. So, she tries to call them but they won't hear her.
Laurie Strode: (Muttering) Me. Help. Help.
(Dr. Loomis, Marion and the marshal enter the hospital)
Laurie Strode: (Screaming) Help me!
Brian: (Narrating) Yeah, wait till they go inside then start screaming for help.
Sean: (Narrating) But hey, that doesn't matter when Michael appears and finds her, forcing Laurie to run to the door. They Laurie inside and Michael bursts in by walking through the door.
Sean: (V/O as Michael Myers) Oh, yeah!
(Dr. Loomis shoots Michael multiple times until Michael collapses to the floor)
"And that moment, Michael Myers is stone cold dead." Brian said.
"Wait, Bri. There's a third rule on how to successfully survive a horror movie sequel. This one's a sequel. We got a bigger body count, the death scenes are more elaborate with more blood and gore. And rule number three is never, ever, under any circumstances assume the killer is dea… oh, no." Sean said, with the look of fear on his face.
Dr. Sam Loomis: Get away from him!
Marshal: But he stopped breathing.
"Get away from him, you…" Sean warned.
(Michael springs up and slit's the marshal's throat with the scalpel)
"You stupid son of a bitch!" Sean yelled out.
Sean: (Narrating) After Michael kills the marshal, he chases Dr. Loomis and Laurie into a room. Loomis tries to fire and he find…
(The gun click. Much to Loomis' horror, he is out of bullets)
"Well, what do you know? No more buwwets." Brian said, imitating Elmer Fudd and starts laughing like him.
Brian: (Narrating) Michael stabs Loomis in the stomach and then he goes after Laurie, only to be greeted by getting shot in the eyes, making him cry tears of blood.
"Which will be an iconic image for the collector's edition DVD." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) With Michael blinded, Dr. Loomis who's seriously injured, loosens the valve on a canister of ether and Laurie does the same, filling the room with gas as Laurie escapes the room. Then, Dr. Loomis goes out like the most badass motherfucker ever when he says one of my favorite lines in the movie.
Dr. Sam Loomis: It's time, Michael.
(Loomis lights his lighter as the room explodes)
"And at that moment, Michael Myers is truly, positively, stone-cold dea…" Sean said.
(Michael, who's engulfed in flames, stumbles out of the room)
Sean: (V/O) Oh, shit!
(Michael collapses to the floor and dies)
"Now, he's dead!" Sean yelled out. "Until he comes back in Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers."
Brian: (Narrating) So, Laurie lives and so does Jimmy Lloyd, in the alternate ending in the TV version of the film, and a bunch of babies in the maternity ward.
Sean: (Narrating) And the film ends with a shot of Michael burning in flames and the song Mr. Sandman playing. Roll credits, the end.
"And that was Halloween II. Okay, so it's not as good as the original but I still like it. What about you, Brian?" Sean asked.
"Loved it, man." Brian said.
(Clips from the film start playing)
Sean: (Narrating) The film was a box office success, grossing over $25 million domestically, but it was criticized by the film critics because of the violence and gore. And I respect John Carpenter and Debra Hill for making a respectable sequel, even though the plot twist was dumb and the re-enactment at the beginning of the film was half-assed. But on the plus side, Jamie Lee Curtis's acting was pretty good and Donald Pleasence is brilliant as always as well as his scenes and Dr. Loomis' dialogue. For his first time directing, Rick Rosenthal did a pretty good job directing this movie. I wish I could say the same for Resurrection. The kills were creative as well.
"Resurrection, the one Halloween film John Carpenter said he hated." Brian said.
Sean: (Narrating) The film was intended to be the last chapter of the Halloween series to revolve around Michael Myers and the town of Haddonfield. And because of how poorly Halloween III: Season of the Witch did, Michael Myers was brought back six years later. And trust me, before Halloween Havoc ends, we'll talk about Halloween III. Watching this film, I enjoyed watching it and I had a lot of fun watching it. If it was on TV or on a movie channel like HBO, Cinemax or Encore I'll watch it. Hell, I even own it on DVD as a double feature with Halloween III.
"Cool, dude." Brian said.
Sean: (Narrating) If you liked Halloween and wanted to see more of the night he came home, then check this one out. If you can get through the stupid plot twist. Halloween II gets 3 Ben Tramers hit by a car out of 5.
"That's it for today's review. I'm Sean the Mayhem Critic." Sean said.
"And I'm Brian." Brian said.
"And we'll see you guys next time." Sean said as the review ends.
Mayhem Critic Tagline- It's time, Michael.
And that was The Mayhem Critic's review of Halloween II. Thanks to Boris Yeltsin for co-reviewing it with me. He will be co-reviewing Halloween III: Season of the Witch with me. Next time on The Mayhem Critic, I will be reviewing a Stephen King film adaptation of your choosing. Which one should I review: the 1983 film Christine or the 1984 film Firestarter? Don't forget to review this story, add it to your favorites and follow it for future updates. Also, if you want to co-review a movie with me, feel free to PM me if you're interested. I'll see you guys next time. Till next time, my fellow readers.