The Mayhem Critic
Hello, my fellow readers. It is I, the great James Stryker and welcome back to a new chapter of The Mayhem Critic. Today, I will be taking a look at the 1983 film from two masters of horror Stephen King and director John Carpenter. And of course I'm talking about Christine. But I won't be reviewing this movie alone, it's another co-review with fellow writer Boris Yeltsin. Let's see if this movie still holds up or if Sean's going to make fun of Stephen King and his favorite director. So here it is, the new chapter of The Mayhem Critic. Sit back, relax and enjoy.
P.S.: As I mentioned before, I do not own anything involved in this story. All material belongs to their respective sources. Christine is owned by Columbia Pictures and Polar Film.
Episode Thirty-Six
Christine
(The Halloween Havoc intro starts before the review begins)
Sean aka the Mayhem Critic are both seen sitting on the couch in Sean's living room once again.
"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. I'm Sean the Mayhem Critic, the critic that rips movies a new one." Sean introduces himself.
"And I'm Sean's friend Brian." Brian said.
"And welcome back to another installment of Halloween Havoc." Sean said and starts laughing in a sinister way while lightning strikes and the sound of an eerie organ playing. "Hey kids, do you know what time it is? It's John Carpenter Time!"
(To the sound of children cheering, we are treated to a shot of John Carpenter in a Mr. Rogers outfit while the words "John Carpenter Time!" pops up. Then we cut to some of John Carpenter's films, like "The Thing" and "Halloween")
Sean: (Narrating) What can I say about my favorite director? He's given us great movies after great movies…
(Cut to a montage of some more of his films, such as The Ward, Ghosts of Mars, Memoirs of an Invisible Man, They Live, Village of the Damned)
Sean: (Narrating) …and some of his films in later years tends to be silly. Now, I was going to review Village of the Damned for today but I found something much better from him.
Brian: (Narrating) And from Stephen King. The perfect team-up ever since he and George A. Romero brought us Creepshow.
"And today's film teaches us the most important rule: never get between a man and his car. This is Christine." Sean said.
(The title screen is shown and as well as clips from the film)
Brian: (Narrating) Released in theaters on December 9, 1983 and based on the novel of the same name, Christine tells the story about a killer Plymouth Fury and it's effects on the car's new teenage owner, who starts to act as evil like his car.
Sean: (Narrating) The film opened to a lukewarm reception among critics and despite it's reviews the film gained a cult following just like The Thing back in 1982.
"But hey, what can you expect from Stephen King and John Carpenter? I mean, Stephen King brought us this." Sean said.
(A clip from Stephen King's The Langoliers is shown)
Craig Toomey (Played by Bronson Pinchot): Scaring the little girl?!
"And John Carpenter brought us this." Brian said.
(A clip from Assault on Precinct 13, the 1976 version is shown)
Kathy (Played by Kim Richards): I wanted vanilla twist.
(White Warlord, played by the late Frank Doubleday, shoots Kathy)
Sean: (V/O as White Warlord) Well, you're getting strawberry!
"We're in good hands." Sean said with a smile on his face. "This is Christine."
(The title of the movie is shown, then we see that it says it's "A Richard Kobritz Production")
Sean: (Narrating) So the film kindly let's us know that it's "A Richard Kobritz Production". Well, thank you movie. That's nice of you to let us know. Why would you let us know that it's produced by this Richard Kobritz guy? We know that he produced Salem's Lot.
"Why don't you let us know that Lou Scheimer produced the movie?" Sean asked.
(We see the title of the movie. Instead of it saying "A Richard Kobritz Production", it says "A Lou Scheimer Production")
Sean: (Narrating) The movie starts in the year 1957, where the titular Christine is being built while they play the most badass song ever.
(George Thorogood's Bad to the Bone starts playing)
We cut to Sean and Brian, who are now both wearing sunglasses and Sean is seen playing the guitar and Brian is playing the drums with Sean singing the song.
"Best song ever." Brian said.
Brian: (Narrating) Everything's looking great at building, until…
(A line worker inspecting Christine's front end until the hood of the car slams down on his hand. Then we cut to another worker who climbs in to sit behind the wheel, letting the ash from his cigar drop on the front seat. Later, the line supervisor finds the worker dead)
"This must be the new feature in the MagnaVolt." Sean said.
(We see the worker fall to the floor dead and freeze up on him before the words "MagnaVolt 2.0. More lethal than ever." is shown on the screen)
Sean: (as Announcer) MagnaVolt 2.0. More lethal than ever.
Sean: (Narrating) When then cut to the year 1978 in Rockbridge, California. Twenty-one years after we've seen Christine's reign of terror. We're 1introduced to our hero of this movie Dennis Guilder, played by John Stockwell from My Science Project and you probably might recognize him as Cougar from Top Gun. And his friend Arnie Cunningham, played by Keith Gordon from Jaws 2 and Brian De Palma's thriller Dressed to Kill. Arnie is like Christopher Reeve from Superman III.
(A photo of Christopher Reeve as Superman/Clark Kent is shown)
Sean: (Narrating) Which came out the same year as this movie.
"Arnie's your typical geek, acne and all, as we'll see." Brian said.
"And Arnie is also the shy and awkward kid. Like every other kid in a Stephen King movie." Sean said.
Brian: (Narrating) And with Dennis being the handsome football player, things are much easier for him when he has John Travolta's wife flirting with him. And we're also introduced to the new girl in school named Leigh Cabot, played by Alexandra Paul from Baywatch. And we get some choice words from Bemis, played by Douglas Warhit.
Bemis (Played by Douglas Warhit): (On Leigh) Give me something for my lap, will ya.
Mr. Smith (Played by Bruce French): We have one heck of a good marching band. Went to the Rose Parade last year. Not a bad way to meet boys.
Leigh Cabot (Played by Alexandra Paul): I would like to get involved with the yearbook.
Bemis: (To Dennis) So, what do you think about admitting Red China into the U.N.?
Dennis Guilder (Played by John Stockwell): I think we already did that.
"And that's one way to make hot girls think that you're smart. Try talking about communist China in the U.N." Sean said.
Bemis: I want to have deep, meaningful sex with her.
"Oh, that's good of you to let us know." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Things are much easier in school for Dennis than they are for Arnie, who's not only ignored by the ladies but he's also the target of the school bully named Buddy Repperton, played by William Ostrander. Who I swear Buddy looks like he's too old to be in high school. Arnie is also terrorized by Buddy's gang: Moochie played by Malcolm Danare from The Lords of Discipline and Godzilla, Don Vandenberg played by Stuart Charno who you might recognize him as Ted from Friday the 13th Part 2 and Rich played by….
(Sean recognizes Rich's portrayer)
"That dude with the Jewfro looks very familiar." Sean said.
(A clip from Ghostbusters, the 1984 version, is shown)
Male Student (Played by Steven Tash): The effect? I'll tell you what the effect is. It's pissing me off!
Sean: (Narrating) That's right, folks. That's Steven Tash from Ghostbusters playing Rich, one of the bullies in Buddy's gang.
"Ugh, high school bullies. Am I right?" Brian asked.
Sean: (Narrating) But hey, it's not a Stephen King movie if the bullies weren't borderline psychotic.
(Buddy pulls out a switchblade and sticks it in Arnie's lunch, ripping the bag open, causing his lunch to spill out all over the floor)
"Boy, I am so tempted to play the Stephen King drinking game right about now." Sean said.
Buddy Repperton (Played by William Ostrander): Come on. You want to go for it?
"Boy, and they almost gave the part of Buddy to Nicolas Cage. That dude is borderline psychotic." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) And speaking of borderline psychotic…
(Moochie grabs Dennis from behind and grabs his crotch)
"Geez! That dude should get a part in Disney's The Nutcracker." Sean winced.
Brian: (Narrating) But before the bullies get a bucket of pig's blood and pour it on Arnie, a teacher arrives to break up the fight and Buddy gets kicked out for carrying a blade and threatening to use it on Arnie.
Sean: (Narrating) After an exciting first day of school, Dennis drives Arnie home and on the way home, Arnie spots the used, badly battered Christine outside the home of…
(The music from Home Alone plays as Sean and Brian recognize George LeBay's portrayer)
George LeBay (Played by the late Roberts Blossom): She'll start. You need these.
"AAAAHHHHHHHHH! THE SOUTHBEND SHOVEL SLAYER!" Sean and Brian both screamed out as Brian ducks down and Sean jumps off of the couch and runs out of the room.
Brian: (Narrating) Yes, that's Roberts Blossom from Home Alone and no he's not playing the Shovel Slayer in this one. He plays George LeBay. Now, Sean and I are going to talk about some changes from the original book. Blossom plays George LeBay, who in the book is the brother of the former owner of Christine, Roland LeBay, who was the ghost who possesses Arnie and turns him evil.
Sean: (Narrating) However in the movie, Roland was completely removed and George is simply a name drop and the car itself is what is focused on and the car being the primary villain.
Brian: (Narrating) Anyway, back to the movie, Arnie is interested in buying Christine and LeBay tells him about the car.
George LeBay: My asshole brother bought her back in September, '57. That's when you got your new model year in September. Brand-new, she was. She had the smell of a brand-new car. That's just about the finest smell in the world, except maybe for pussy.
"He's right." Sean pointed out, smirking naughtily.
Sean: (Narrating) George agrees to sell Christine and Arnie buys her, much to Dennis' dismay and Dennis tries to save his best friend from a crazy old man screwing him.
Dennis Guilder: Hey. Look mister, would you give Arnie a break? He's just a stupid kid he doesn't know what he's doing.
George LeBay: You don't know half as much as you think you do… shitter.
"Now, get out of my face or I'll knock your fucking head off with a shovel." Sean said, imitating George LeBay.
Brian: (Narrating) Back at Arnie's house, Arnie tells his parents, played by Christine Belford and the late Robert Darnell, that he bought Christine and they're not too thrilled about it.
Regina Cunningham (Played by Christine Belford): You can't buy a car. What in the world are you talking about? You're 17 years old.
"Actually, Keith Gordon was 21 years old at the time this movie was filmed. So yeah, he can buy a car." Sean said.
Regina Cunningham: You could've consulted with us.
Arnie Cunningham: You know, I've consulted with you about every damn thing I've ever done. I mean, everything in this house is a committee meeting. If it's something I want, then I get outvoted, two to one! Well, this is no committee meeting. I bought the car, and that's it!
Regina Cunningham: You are not keeping any car at this house.
Arnie Cunningham: Fine!
(Cutaway Gag Starts)
(We cut to a shot of a house in Delhi township, where we see Brian's parents Bob and Sherry, watching television as Brian crashes his car into the house)
Bob: What the? What's the matter with you?!
(Brian gets out of the car)
Brian: This one's on the house, mom!
(Brian runs upstairs)
Sherry: Now you're being ridiculous, Brian!
(Cutaway Gag Ends)
Sean: (Narrating) The boys drive Christine to a local junkyard that's owned by a customer service-focused and very grumpy Art Carney….
"Uh, dude." Brian said.
"What?" Sean asked.
"That's not Art Carney." Brian said.
"That's not?" Sean asked, then realized a little mix-up he made with the actor's names. "Oh, wait that's Robert Prosky. I forgot, Art Carney was in Firestarter a year later after Christine was released. Almost had myself a little Nostalgia Critic moment when he mixed up Art Carney with Robert Prosky in his Last Action Hero review."
Brian: (Narrating) This is Will Darnell, the owner of Darnell's Do-It-Yourself Garage, he's played by the late Robert Prosky. And we see that this guy is very serious at his job and he doesn't take any shit from young punks like Arnie.
Will Darnell (Played by the late Robert Prosky): I don't take any shit from you kids. This place is for working stiffs, gotta keep their cars runnin' so they can keep bread on the table. It's not for rich-assed, snot-nosed kids want to go draggin' on the Orange Belt. I don't allow no smoking in here neither. You want a butt then go out in the junkyard.
Arnie Cunningham: Oh, I don't smoke.
Will Darnell: Don't interrupt me, punk. Don't interrupt me. Don't get smart.
"Do you want to see the latest Jack Slater movie?" Sean asked, imitating Will Darnell and making a reference to the 1993 film Last Action Hero, which starred Robert Prosky.
"Uh, ye…." Brian said before Sean interrupts him.
"Shut your pie hole!" Sean yelled out.
Sean: (Narrating) Over the next few nights, we see that Arnie's been busy restoring Christine to her former glory and as he does his fondness for the car become a bit more than just a man and his machine. Hell, it even comes to the point where he changes his appearance and his personality, even blowing off his friends and talking back to his parents.
Regina Cunningham: Arnold Cunningham, you are going to find yourself with no friends at all if you keep treating people this way.
Arnie Cunningham: Get off my back!
Brian: (Narrating) Arnie's mother Regina becomes worried about her son and she tells Dennis some shocking news about the car's previous owner, Roland. He died from carbon monoxide poisoning while sitting in the car. So, Dennis goes to confront Roland's brother George after learning the truth about his brother and George LeBay tells him about the car's dark past.
George LeBay: He had a five-year-old daughter choked to death in it. He wouldn't get rid of her.
"Also, Roland had a wife named Rita, who died the same way as Roland." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) But hey, at least Dennis has the new girl he can try to flirt with. That's not gonna bring him down.
Dennis Guilder: Listen, do you like music?
Leigh Cabot: Uh-huh.
Dennis Guilder: What about dancing?
Leigh Cabot: (Nods her head and smiles) Yes.
Dennis Guilder: Do you think you might want to go dancing with me like, I don't know, maybe this Friday night after the game?
Leigh Cabot: I'm sorry. I can't.
"I've seen you in Top Gun. You've lost your edge." Brian said, imitating Leigh Cabot.
Sean: (Narrating) Actually, it turns out that Arnie is dating the new girl Leigh. I knew that it's true. The nerdy guys always gets the hot chicks. And when Dennis sees the two of them together, this happens.
(Dennis knocked down by a football player, suffering a very serious injury, then we cut to a shot of Christine)
"Ladies and gentlemen, Stephen King's most devious creation: a car that murders people and sabotages football games. Damn, so much for my fifty bucks. I was gonna use that to buy Red Dead Redemption 2." Sean pouted.
Brian: (Narrating) The hit was so hard, that it nearly paralyzed Dennis from the waist down. Arnie and Dennis start talking again and he sees that Arnie has drastically changed.
Arnie Cunningham: Has it ever occurred to you that part of being a parent is trying to kill your kids?
"What the?" Brian asked.
"Hey, this is the King Universe. You have crazy parents trying to kill their kids." Sean pointed out.
Sean: (Narrating) Later, Arnie and Leigh are out on a date at the drive-in. Ah, the drive-in. The place to watch movies in your car and make-out with your girl in the car. What the hell happened?
(We see Netflix pop up)
Brian: (Narrating) But their little make-out session stops when Leigh calls Arnie out on his obsession with the car.
Leigh Cabot: You care more about that car than you care about me.
Arnie Cunningham: That's crazy, Leigh.
Leigh Cabot: Who do you spend more time with?
"Geez, she's starting to sound like my girlfriend Taylor every time I play my Xbox One X." Sean said.
"Or my girlfriend Cheryl." Brian said.
"What does she complain about?" Sean asked.
"The time I spend reading about politics." Brian said.
Sean: (Narrating) And it looks like the feeling's mutual when Leigh gets jealous of Christine. Hmm, and I thought that girls weren't supposed to be jealous of cars. And Christine tries to kill Leigh by making her choke to death on a hamburger.
(Leigh starts choking on her hamburger)
Sean: (V/O as Christine) Arnie is mine. You can't have him. I will kill you, you filthy slut. Arnie will be mine. Forever and…
(A man pulls Leigh out of the car and administers the Heimlich maneuver on her)
"Well, that's great that there's somebody that knows the Heimlich maneuver because Arnie just stood there like an idiot. And second, it almost look like that the guy was humping her." Sean said.
"History is repeating itself. That's how Roland's daughter died." Brian said.
Brian: (Narrating) After their deadly date, Arnie drops Leigh off at her house and she refuses to ever to get into Christine again.
Arnie Cunningham: Whoa, wait a minute. Wait a minute. Don't you blame your choking on Christine.
Leigh Cabot: It happened, Arnie. When I choked, something happened. The radio came on. Everything got bright.
Arnie Cunningham: So, what are you saying?
"Yeah, babe? So what are you saying?" Sean asked.
"It's either me or the car. With me, you can have sex with. With the car, you can't have sex with it because it's not me." Taylor said.
(We see Arnie trying to start up Christine. She doesn't start)
Arnie Cunningham: Come on. Come on, Christine.
(Christine doesn't start)
Arnie Cunningham: Come on, baby, please. It's all right. Everything is the same.
(Arnie starts the car as the radio comes on after it starts)
Arnie Cunningham: (Smiles) Okay.
"Forget about her, Christine. She doesn't mean anything to me. You're the only one for me." Sean said, imitating Arnie. "Now, how about a little music?"
Sean turns the radio on as Tiny Tim's Living in the Sunlight starts playing. Sean smiles as he continues to listen to the song.
"Ooh, Christine. You naughty little minx." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Later, Arnie tucks Christine away at Darnell's until Buddy Repperton and his cronies break in to get revenge for his expulsion and…
(We see that Christine has been vandalized)
Sean: (Narrating) Holy shit! Boy, they really did a number on her. Well, I think that Arnie's gonna take it pretty well. I mean, it's just a ca…
Arnie Cunningham: (After Leigh tries to comfort him) Don't touch me, shitter! This is just what you wanted! You get away from her! Get away from her!
"Jesus! Well, that answered my question." Sean said.
Brian: (Narrating) After taking his anger out on his girlfriend and his parents, Arnie tries to repair Christine and she shows off her power in all of it's sexy glory.
Arnie Cunningham: Okay. Show me.
(Christine begins to repair herself in front of Arnie as sensual music start playing in the background)
"From what I've heard, this scene was supposed to emulate a striptease. I can't see that working out in real life." Brian said.
(Cutaway Gag Starts)
Cheryl: Hey, Brian. Want to see me fix my broken leg?
Brian: Sure, babe. I would love to see….
(Cheryl fixes her broken leg as Brian screams in horror)
(Cutaway Gag Ends)
Sean: (Narrating) With Christine repaired, she goes on a rampage for revenge and the first person she goes after is the fat one.
Moochie (Played by Malcolm Danare): (Sees Christine) Is that you, Cunningham? Hey, you ain't mad, are ya?
(Christine flashes her headlights at Moochie)
"Does that answer your question?" Brian asked.
Brian: (Narrating) I like how Christine has her windows tinted so you can't actually tell if it's anyone driving the car.
Sean: (Narrating) I especially like how this scene is shot and the music as well. The music kinda reminds me of the music score from Halloween III. Without the annoying song.
(Sean and Brian listen to the music score while Christine chases Moochie)
Brian: (Narrating) Christine corners Moochie in an alleyway and manages kill him. This murder catches the attention of Detective Rudolph Junkins, played by the late Harry Dean Stanton, and he question Arnie's whereabouts and inspects Christine, much to Arnie's chagrin.
Arnie Cunningham: Okay, so what do you want, huh?
Det. Rudolph Junkins (Played by the late Harry Dean Stanton): I really like this shade of red, Arnie. Didn't think they still made this anymore. Do they? They still make this shade?
Arnie Cunningham: Well, they must. I mean. I bought it, didn't I?
"Stick with your story, kid. It's not a lie if you believe it." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Later that night, we see Buddy and Rich at a liquor store liquor and while they're driving away, they notice that someone is following them.
Rich (Played by Steven Tash): (Looks back and gives the person following them the finger) Asshole.
Sean: (V/O) Yeah, not a wise choice to flip off a killer car!
Brian: (Narrating) Turns out it's Christine that's following them. She follows them to gas station where Vandenberg is at and she continues her reign of terror.
(Christine smashes into Buddy Repperton's car)
"Noooooo! Not the Camaro! What were you thinking?!" Sean cried out.
Don Vandenberg (Played by Stuart Charno): Is that Cunningham?
Buddy Repperton: It can't be. Look at my car. Come on, prick! We're not finished yet. Come on!
Sean: (V/O as Rich) Is it a circle? Is it a star? Is it Madelaine Petsch being extremely hot? (Screams)
(Christine hits Rich by driving Repperton's car into him)
(A clip from Ghostbusters '84 plays)
Dr. Peter Venkman (Played by Bill Murray): I'm sorry. This isn't your lucky day.
Brian: (Narrating) Christine triggers a gas station explosion that kills two of Repperton's cronies and Repperton is left standing, running on foot while Christine chases him while she's on fire.
"Now, that's what I call hot wheels." Sean said as a comedic drum roll riff plays.
(We see Christine, who's set on fire, chasing Buddy Repperton while he's running away from her)
"Uh, dude. Jump out of the way. She's gonna kill you. Jump out of the way. Jump out…." Sean said.
(Christine runs Buddy Repperton over. We see his burning corpse on the road)
(A clip from World's Dumbest Performers is shown)
John Enos: You stupid son of a bitch.
Sean: (Narrating) After Christine finishes her reign of terror, the badly burned car entered the junkyard while Darnell is there. You know, I have to ask this question: how many Plymouth Furies did they go through while filming this movie?
"Well, from what I read. Zero. Even though Christine is famous for being a Plymouth Fury, all twenty-eight cars that would play her in the film were actually either a Plymouth Belvedere or a Plymouth Savoy. That's a little fun fact for you." Brian said.
Brian: (Narrating) Darnell becomes an idiot and climbs in to the car and sits behind the wheel, only to find him crushed to death when Christine pushes the driver's seat forward.
(Christine pushes the driver's seat forward and kills Darnell by crushing him to death)
"Oh, no. Don't kill Robert Prosky. Chris Columbus needs him for Mrs. Doubtfire ten years later." Sean said.
"Notice the song playing in the background?" Brian asked.
Sean begins to notice the song playing on the radio.
"Yep. Bony Maronie by Larry Williams." Sean said
Sean: (Narrating) Arnie arrives at the junkyard, only to find Detective Junkins there and tells him that his boss is dead and he becomes suspicious of Arnie. Meanwhile, Dennis and Leigh are both worried about Arnie, who keeps getting crazier and crazier and crazier. You'll see why. And this scares the shit out of Dennis when he tries to talk to him about his obsession with Christine.
Arnie Cunningham: You know, when someone believes in you, man. You can do anything. Any fucking thing in the entire universe and when you believe right back in that someone then watch out, world, 'cause nobody can stop you! Then nobody, ever!
Dennis Guilder: How do you feel this way about Leigh?
Arnie Cunningham: (Chuckles) What? Fuck, no! I'm talkin' about Christine, man. No shitter ever came between me and Christine.
"Christ, Arnie! All I wanted to do was to go out for a Frosty and fries at Wendy's." Sean said.
Arnie Cunningham: Oh, man. There is nothin' finer than being behind the wheel of your own car, except maybe for pussy.
"Dude, all I wanted was a burger and a beer. I like cars as much as the next guy, but seriously." Brian said.
Brian: (Narrating) After having enough of Arnie's nonsense with the car, Dennis and Leigh challenge Christine to a final showdown at Darnell's and it looks like that Christine is a no-show.
Sean: (Narrating) Oh, well. I guess she's too chicken to show….
(Christine flashes her headlights as Leigh turns around)
"Clever girl." Sean said, imitating the character Muldoon from Jurassic Park.
Brian: (Narrating) It's at this point that it's revealed that Arnie is the one driving Christine and what brings an end to their reign of terror?
(Arnie drives Christine through Darnell's office in an attempt to get Leigh, but then finds himself thrown out of the car)
Brian: (V/O as Announcer) No seatbelt. No excuse. This has been a public service announcement for the Mayhem Seatbelt Coalition.
"The book was better. He fights off Roland while on a drive with his mother, but dies in a car accident." Brian said.
Sean: (Narrating) After being thrown of a car's windshield and getting impaled in the gut with a shard of glass, Arnie dies. With her owner dead, Christine tries to kill Leigh, but then Dennis destroys Christine with a bulldozer, several times until she's unable to regenerate and crushing her into a cube. Dennis, Leigh and Detective Junkins watch on as Christine is dropped into the junkyard.
Det. Rudolph Junkins: I wouldn't feel so bad, if I were you. You two are heroes, you know.
Dennis Guilder: Yeah. A real hero could've saved Arnie.
Leigh Cabot: We didn't do so hot.
Det. Rudolph Junkins: Some things can't be helped. Some people too.
Brian: (Narrating) With Dennis and Leigh being heroes, they all live happily ever….
(Dennis, Leigh and Detective Junkins hear music playing. They look at Christine, who's a cube, thinking that there's music playing coming from her. The camera pans only to reveal a junkyard worker carrying a boombox while listening to music)
Leigh Cabot: God, I hate rock and roll.
"You said it, sister. But you know what they say, "Rock and roll will never die."." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) And the film ends with a shot of Christine and we see a piece of the front grille unbending itself. Cut, print, roll credits and play me off George Thorogood!
(We see the credits roll while Bad to the Bone starts playing)
"And that was John Carpenter's Christine. I really like this movie." Sean said.
(Clips from the movie start playing)
Sean: (Narrating) I loved the artistic style of the film, from the bright colors to the dark tones itself. The music is an important factor as well and aside from Halloween II's music score, which John Carpenter and Alan Howarth composed the music for, this one is my favorite.
Brian: (Narrating) This movie is pretty good, even though it has it's silly moment. The acting is well done from most of the cast as well as the cinematography and great visuals. The film got mixed reviews from critics and it's a cult classic.
Sean: (Narrating) Heck, Billy & Mandy did a parody of Christine in an episode called Tricycle of Terror. Look it up. Most of the Stephen King adaptations to movies tend to be lame but with Christine, it's the best. I considered it to be my favorite along with Firestarter, Cujo, It (2017), Carrie and Pet Sematary. But hey, if you want me to make fun of a Stephen King movie, then let me make fun of Sleepwalkers. That's a movie that Mick Garris directed. That one was pretty silly. All and all, a pretty good film adaptation from King and Carpenter, giving it 4 Plymouth Furies out of 5.
"God, I reviewed four movies that got good ratings from me. This is making it too easy for me. Come on, give me something for me to rant on. Something for me to lose my mind. Something that I talked about wanting to review because I really want to rant about it. Come on, give it to me!" Sean exclaimed.
(The trailer for Halloween III: Season of the Witch is shown)
Announcer: Halloween III: Season of the Witch. The night no one comes home.
We then cut to Sean and Brian screaming in horror after seeing the trailer for the next movie to review for Halloween Havoc.
Mayhem Critic Tagline- Okay. Show me.
And that was it for the review on John Carpenter's Christine. I hope you all enjoyed reading it. Next time, Sean ends Halloween Havoc with what could be the worst Halloween sequel ever made… or is it? And of course I'm talking about Halloween III: Season of the Witch. Will Sean lose his mind from reviewing it? We'll find out next time. Don't forget to review this story, add it to your favorites and follow it for future updates. I would like to thank fellow writer Boris Yeltsin for co-reviewing this movie with me. I'll see you guys for the next chapter of The Mayhem Critic. Till next time, my fellow readers.