This was a story that appeared out of no where in my mind. I intended to wait on posting it until I finished Solo Dragon Player, but with no end in site I said screw it. This is a normal AU, no magic involved. I need to warn all of you before you read this story.
There is mentions of self harm, suicide, alchol, mature themes and language. This fic will be an emotional roller coaster, tugging at the heart strings nearly every chapter. If angst is not for you, I suggest you stop reading now. This is going to get dark, I hope you're ready.
Without further a do! Here is The Only Thing I Have Left
"Normal speaking"
'Thoughts and flashbacks'
One more note: There will be POVs of Natsu and Erza, along with Narrator. Enjoy! :)
Some people say you take a lot of things for granted, love, family, friends, anything that brings you a sense of joy. For me... I lost all of the above. My parents, Erza... Clenching my fist tightly till my knuckles were white, my eyes scan over my room with lifeless eyes. Clothes, whether dirty or clean are scattered all over the floor. A small box laid in the corner, a tiny kitten curled up into a ball slept away. Happy was the only thing I had left of my old life.. a piece I desperately cling to. I chuckled bitterly, laying back in my bed with a deep sigh. Mom would scold me so bad for this, including my dad. I used to be such a clean freak, always maintaining a sense of balance in my own life. But... now that was gone, nothing mattered anymore. My head turns to a small picture frame, taking a hold of it as my finger gently caressed it with a sad smile.
This photo represented the last time I ever felt happy. My arms tightly wrapped around a beautiful woman with scarlet hair. Her smile, the small blush on her cheeks. Erza Scarlet was my whole world and more. Growing up as kids, her mother was great friends with my own. We hung out every chance we could, the bestest of friends we were. I still remember that day she came over to my house, a memory that would stay with me as long as I lived.
Natsu laid in his bed, scrolling through his phone absent-mindedly with a sigh. His fingers gently combed through his feline Happy's fur who purred against his actions. His parents were out of town, said it was an important meeting from their job. He merely shrugged, placing his ear buds in each ear. The gentle sound of music relaxed his whole body. Suddenly a notification appeared, a bright grin forming on his lips.
Swiping out of the current app, he opened up his messages with a warm smile, noticing who had sent him a text.
Erza: Hey... are you busy at all?
Natsu: No, just laying in bed bored out of my mind. Parents went out of town on a work trip, why? You looking to hang out? ;)
Erza: Hehe.. something like that. You mind if I come over?
Natsu sat up in his bed with a childish grin, quickly typing away his response with a small blush on his cheeks that matched his rose colored hair.
Natsu: Not at all! Your company is exactly what I could use right now.
Erza: Okay! See you soon then dragon boy. :)
He grumbled, his cheeks growing deeper in color in embarrassment. Oh how he hated that nickname, but for Erza she got a free pass. Natsu glanced down at his best friend, lifting the small kitten into his lap with a grin. "Erza's coming, Happy! You excited little buddy?"
The kitten cocked it's head to the side with a small meow in response.
"I'll take that as a yes," he chuckled, jumping out of bed as he rushed out of his room to get ready for his friends arrival.
A knock was heard an hour later. Natsu bounded towards the door, practically throwing it open with a big toothy grin. "Hey, Erza!"
Erza Scarlet, an angel of a woman in Natsu's eyes stood there with a bright smile. She wore a buttoned white blouse with a royal blue skirt, black boots to make her outfit as she fidgeted with a deep blush. "H-hey Natsu, can I come in?"
"Of course, come in!" He stepped back for her to enter, which she thanked him in return, stepping inside his home. Her fingers curled together, unsure of what else to do. She nervously fidgeted with her feet, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.
Natsu shut his door, turning around to face Erza with a smile. "Can I get you anything?"
"N-no thank you," she politely declined, walking into his spacious living room as she took a seat.
He raised his brow in confusion of his friends behavior. "Well, alright. Happy really missed you by the way."
On cue a small meow reached Erza's ears as the woman looked down at her feet. A small kitten rubbed against her legs with a purr. Erza smiled softly, reaching down to pick Happy up, setting the feline on her lap. Her fingers gently combed through his silky fur. "Well, I missed you too Happy," she cooed, scratching behind his ears with a small grin.
Natsu walked over to plop on his couch with a smile. It took no time at all for Happy to grow attached to Erza. Her gentle nature, including the sweet strawberry perfume she wore every day. But what always brought the kitten bounding towards her is the fresh fish her mother would prepare solely for the little kitten who practically drooled at the tantalizing salmon in front of him."So, Erza. What did you wanna talk about?"
Erza lifted her gaze from Happy to Natsu, biting her lip nervously. "W-well... I.." she stuttered slightly, cursing the lack of confidence she had in herself. 'Oh god what do I say?!'
"Yes?" Natsu scooted closer, frowning at how red her cheeks were getting. "You're not getting sick are you? Your cheeks are getting pretty red there."
"N-no! I um..."
"Erza?"
Erza's fingers curled tightly around her skirt. Her lips quivered, feeling her cheeks burn. She could practically hear her mother's giggling from a mile away. Why was it so hard to say the one thing she practiced in the mirror a multitude of times. This was Natsu she was talking about for gods sake. He wouldn't judge her, nor would he laugh at her lack of confidence. That's what made him the bestest friend she ever had. Feeling a warmth seep into her chest, she reached out to grab a hold of his hands, catching the man off guard.
"E-erza what are you-"
"I like you..." she whispered quietly, lowering her head, afraid of the expression she would see on his face.
Natsu's eyes shot wide open. His cheeks burned. "N-no way... are.. are you serious?"
"I am..."It felt like the breath was completely knocked out of his lungs. Erza... his best friend since childhood admitted to liking him. He wasn't dense to know what those words implied. Even if he dreaded the conversations with his dad, especially the birds and the bees. A small shudder went up his spine at the memory. But... he had to admit, sitting in front of him, Erza was the most beautiful woman he ever laid his eyes upon. Sure, she tried to act tough, bossy even in some cases. But deep down Erza just wanted someone that cared about her, especially after the cruel past she went through. From that day on, no matter what day or time if she needed him, he'd be there. It was obvious clear as day how he felt about this scarlet haired woman sitting in front of him.
"Then..." Natsu moved closer to her, his hand slipping out of hers to cup her cheek, lifting her head to meet his onyx orbs. "I.. I like you too. I have.." he turned his head slightly, biting his lip. "For a long time."
Like a hopeful spark, her head raised with wide eyes, staring deep into his onyx eyes with a hopeful gleam. "R-really?"
"Y-yeah," Natsu stuttered, rubbing the back of his neck with a sheepish grin. His cheeks burned in a dark pink hue as he tightly clutched around a white scaled patterned scarf wrapped tightly around his neck. "You were always there for me when we were kids, and vice versa. It wasn't hard to see that we were growing closer together by each passing year. My mom and dad had a bet that I wouldn't ask you out this year, but heh... guess ya beat me to it."
Tears welled up in the corner of her eyes. A big smile made it's across the scarlet girl's cheeks. Whether she wanted to or not, gentle sobs escaped her lips, clinging onto Natsu who held her in his embrace with a deep frown. This man was everything to her and more, someone she depended on, could lean on for strength when she was weak. Natsu Dragneel had her heart forever, whether he liked it or not.
"E-erza why are you crying?!"
A giggle escaped her lips before she shoved him down on the couch, straddling his lap. "You dummy!" She wiped the tears from her eyes with a warm smile, tears continuing their stream. "These are happy tears. You've made s-so happy!"
Natsu smiled in return, reaching up to gently wipe away the tears from her eyes. "The only tears I want to see on your beautiful face."
Their eyes locked onto one another. Both of their bodies like magnets, slowly pulled to each other. Natsu slowly sat up, wrapping his arms around Erza as she wrapped her arms around his neck.
"I... I love you," Erza said quietly, but not enough for Natsu never to hear those magic words.
With another inch, Natsu sealed his lips against hers, stroking her cheek as she melted into his embrace with a content sigh. Their hearts were full to the brim, smiles on their faces. They knew right from there.
That only good things were to come for them.
Oh how they were wrong... so very wrong.
Tears flowed down my cheeks, slowly setting the small picture frame. There wasn't one fucking day in this world I didn't miss her... The one beautiful thing to make my life mean something, forcibly ripped away from me. The first friend I ever had growing up, now gone in the wind to never return.
My shaky hands take a hold of my phone, opening it up to glance at the time.
Four in the morning... another night of no sleep, not that I cared. Sitting up out of bed, I stand up, my feet touching the cold hard wooden floor. Aimlessly walking out of my room, I gather a small pair of clothes before heading to the bathroom. Not a sound comes from my apartment, only my foot steps that echoed across these empty halls.
Setting my clothes on the bathroom counter, I take a look in the mirror. Who am I anymore? Who was this man in the mirror, an imposter... nothing more. With matted down spikey locks, sunken lifeless eyes, pale colored skin compared to my normal tan compleIion. I was a walking zombie, no other way of putting it. turning away to take off my clothes, leaving me in my birthday suit. A cold draft blows across, sending goosebumps up my spine. My hands fidget with the knobs of my bathtub. Running water flows from the spicket, draining away at the bottom like a never ending cycle. Pulling a tab, the shower head above begins spraying down a scalding liquid my body desperately ached for.
I step in, closing the curtain behind me with a deep sigh escaping my lips. Moving forward, my head dips down, feeling the warm water bathe over my head, running down my back. Closing my eyes, I lean forward placing both hands on the tile wall, standing there as the healing water soothed my nerves. Some would've called me a weirdo for how hot the temperature of my showers were. Growing up, even my own parents questioned how my skin hadn't melted off my body.
Heh... Erza would call me a psycho, having experienced a "Natsu shower" as I called it. The.. the look on her face. "Damn it... stop... j-just stop..." I croak out to no one in particular, clenching my fists tightly with gritted teeth. I can feel tears returning to their rightful place. My legs shake from underneath me, threatening to buckle under weight.
W-why... why did this ever have to happen? Why... why did that day ever happen... m-mom... d-dad...
I'm sorry...
Natsu whisled a tune, sitting at a small desk in his room. He used it quite often to either study, or practice guitar. He remembered the study sessions with him and Erza well... if they ever studied when together. He chuckled at the thought, closing his laptop with a gentle click.
A knock came from his door. He stood up from his seat, stretching his limbs as he walked over to open his door with a small smile. "Hey mom, what do ya need?"
"Well..." A woman with jet black hair as long as Erza's bit her lip, rubbing her arm with a small frown. "We have to talk Natsu..."
Natsu raised his brow with a frown. He noticed his mother could barely look him in the eye, guilt written in those emerald eyes. A feeling sunk in the bottom of his chest as he hesitantly stepped away to let his mother inside. She walked past him, clutching the bottom of her dress. Something told him one thing, whatever this was about.
He wasn't going to like this.
And boy was he right...
"Are you kidding me?!" The boy practically snapped, glaring daggers at his mom who lowered her head with tears. "Why do we have to move?!"
"H-honey your father's job and my own require us to re-locate. If there was any other option to avoid this, trust me we would do it."
"W-what about me?" Natsu sat on his bed, tears threatening to spill from his eyes. "What about... what about Erza? I won't ever see her again..."
"N-natsu I'm sorry I-"
"Get out of my room..." He lowered his head, his spiky pink hair masking his expression.
"But Natsu I-"
"GET OUT!"
His mother winced at his tone, standing up from his bed. "Okay.. just make sure you pack soon.. we leave today," she muttered, before leaving his room, gently closing the door behind her.
Natsu stared at his door for a moment, before glancing down at his phone, noticing a text from his girlfriend. With gritted teeth, he opened up his messages, his heart felt like it was practically tearing apart.
Erza: Hey babe! I'm really excited for our date later today. Make sure you aren't late dragon boy
Tears ran down his cheeks as his fingers hesitantly reached out to respond to her message. Choking up on his emotions, he forcibly slammed his phone down on his bed. He glanced over at his bedside. A small picture frame depicting a happy memory. Natsu and Erza had went to the beach together. The fun they had... a memory to desperately cling to. A woman he promised to never hurt, a promise he regrettably broke.
"Erza... I-im sorry... please forgive me..."
Too say there was a deathly silence was an understatement. A man glanced into his rear view mirror, his son wouldn't even look him in the eye. Igneel hated to do this to him. His son was happy, thriving with a beautiful girl who's he's known for years. Now... now he had to bring his son pain, something he regretted deeply. A sigh escaped his lips as his eyes focused on the road once more, gripping onto the steering wheel with a vice grip. A gentle hand rested on his shoulder. His wife offered a smile towards Igneel. "Everything will be okay... he will be okay."
"I... I don't know about that," Igneel replied with a deep frown, noticing Natsu put in his ear buds. "I think he hates me..."
His wife frowned, a deep sigh as she bit her lip. She too like Igneel never wanted to hurt Natsu. He was a bundle of sunshine that she wanted to grow brighter. She was so happy to see Natsu finally get together with Erza, an event long overdue for both parties. Turning back to glance at her son who's eyes were buried into his phone. 'Please forgive me Natsu...'
Natsu noticed a couple of messages appear on his phone from Erza. He hesitantly slid his finger over to take a look at them. His heart split apart, tears threatening to spill as he bit his lip tightly enough to draw blood.
Erza: Natsu Dragneel, I know you didn't just leave me on read!
Erza: Natsu?
Erza: Please respond... I'm starting to get really worried.
Erza: You better be just napping!
Erza: Please answer me Natsu!
A deep sigh escaped his lips, slowly reaching out to send his own message. His fingers typed away, each word bringing him more and more pain than the last. It felt like his heart would shatter on impact any second. He could barely breathe, his shaky fingers gliding across his keyboard, stabbing more daggers into his body. Finishing out his message, his finger hovered over send with a deep frown.
Natsu: I'm sorry for not responding, but there's something I need to tell you... and you are not going to like it. My mom and dad's job requires them to re-locate elsewhere, meaning... I have to leave... leave you. I'm... I'm so sorry that I didn't even get to say goodbye to you. I'll cherish the memories we shared together, not a day I won't forget our time together as a couple... but please... move on with your life, I... I don't know if we'll ever see each other again. I understand if you hate me for this... I love you Erza Scarlet.. goodbye.
His thumb hovered over send for a moment. But as he was about to hit send, suddenly his body jerked forward, slamming onto the back of his mother's seat, his cellphone dropping from his grasp. He heard his father yell, his mother scream before his eyes caught site of a car barreling towards theirs. In that moment, his body flipped around violently, watching in horror as their car barrel rolled across the road.
Coming to a stop, he opened his eyes, blinking away the blood that dripped from the top of his head. He looked around, before his eyes landed on his parents. His blood went cold, his heart stopped, everything in time froze at that mere moment.
Igneel, his father was slumped over the steering wheel, limp as a board. A shard of glass was lodged deep into his jugular that profusely leaked with blood. He shakily turned his gaze towards his mother who's hair was coated in crimson. Her body was littered in cuts and bruises, but what made Natu's body freeze was a wooden poll lodged deeply within her chest.
"M-mom... D-DAD!!!!" He cried out to his parents, hoping and praying this was some kind of sick twisted dream. But sadly he was in a waking nightmare. His vision began to grow blurry, feeling the last bits of consciousness he had left slowly seeping away.
"H-hey! There's someone alive in here!"
"I-its a kid!"
Natsu slowly lifted his head, noticing many people surround his vehicle. Sirens blared in the backround, growing closer by each passing second.
"What about his parents?"
"Jesus christ..."
Whatever will he had slowly gave away and all he could see was black, hoping when he woke up this would be some sick nightmare. But fate played a cruel card, now Natsu was going to have to take it. This day... a day he wished to forget for the rest of his life.
This was the day when he lost everything.
Uncontrollable sobs escaped Natsu who fell to his knees, feeling the water grow cold by the second. He shut the water off, slumping against the tub, watching motionless as the water drained from the tub. He tucked his knees to his chest, digging his nails into his skin with clenched teeth. Blood slowly trickled, draining with the water.
Self hatred wasn't even a word he could describe how he felt. Natsu was so angry with his parents, ignoring their calls to him. He never... he never got to say goodbye. Guilt consumed his every thought, stabbing him deep with daggers of regret. He remembered after leaving the hospital, his phone was recovered from the totaled car. The messages that blew through at a rapid pace, mostly from Erza.
Erza: Why did you stop typing? Did I do something wrong to upset you? If I did please tell me!
Erza: NATSU ANSWER YOUR PHONE PLEASE!
Erza: THAT'S IT I'M COMING OVER!
Erza: W-why is your parents gone? Including you... I took a peek inside and it was barren. W-where are you?! Please! I need you...
Every message felt like a knife to the heart. He could see she was heartbroken, desperate to reach him. But... why couldn't he respond? His eyes scanned over the message draft he was going to send. His thumb hovered over send with gritted teeth. Why... why couldn't he press it? The one person in his whole life who could heal these broken wounds and he couldn't send a damn response!
Steeling his nerves together, he had walked to her house, knowing it was better to talk in person than sending a stupid text. His feet stopped in front of her porch, raising his hand to knock, before he heard noise on the other side. He walked over to the side window, pressing his hands and face to the sheen glass with wide eyes, tears streaming down his cheeks as in that moment he wanted to scream to the top of his lungs.
Erza, his girlfriend was in the arms of her other friend Jellal. A man Natsu despised above all else. He always tried to push the couple apart in his own cruel ways. He always wanted Erza, but she never saw it that way. Jellal was her friend, someone from her childhood, including Natsu who held a special place in her heart.
"W-why won't he respond to me?" He heard her whimper against the blue haired man's chest, clutching tightly onto him.
Jellal frowned, rubbing circles around her back. "I don't know... but I'm here for you, I'll always be here for you.. Erza."
Erza raised her head to meet his gaze, cracking a weak smile in return. "T-thank you Jellal... I don't know what I'd do without you."
The blue haired man cupped her cheek, wiping away the tears from her cheeks with a warm smile. "I'll always be here for you, Erza. You mean a great deal with me," he lowered his head, a small blush on his cheeks. "More than you know."
"Jellal..."
Natsu gritted his teeth tightly together, looking down at the pendant in his grasp. He grabbed a hold of it, opening it to see a picture of Erza with that beautiful smile, a smile that would bring him comfort in his time of need. Now... all it brought was pain. He ripped it off his neck, dropping it on the porch with a small thud. He slowly walked away, never turning back, never stopping. First his parents, now her...
His whole life came crashing like a never ending waking nightmare. A nightmare he desperately wanted to wake up, why couldn't he wake up. Just... wake up, see his loving parents, his beautiful girlfriend with his best friend Happy in her lap with that smile... that damn smile...
"Wake up... wake up..." Natsu repeated over and over in his head, rocking back and forth. He whimpered into his knees, clinging tightly to his body.
"Please...
"Wake up..."
So ends the first chapter, how was it? Sad enough? Don't worry, I'm only getting started. This fic will be not be updated as frequently, but I will try my best to update as much as possible. Solo Dragon Player will be my main focus, but this will be a small side project.
Next time! Natsu's first day of high-school, meeting new faces and an old one...
As always I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and I'll see you all in the next one. Later :)
Edits: Added more to the story to put it more together. Including grammar, or spelling errors. I apologize if the summary keeps changing, something feels off but I can't put my finger on it.