I am just as frustrated as all of you are. As I am publishing it from app, please don't be hard on any mistakes you can possibly find. at least I'm trying to publish it still ahhh.

After a few weeks she really started to feel all of the sensations her sisters were describing. Everything smelled different. And it seemed she could hardly keep any food inside. The nausea was nothing like anybody described it before.

They were sitting in the main room of their home. Breakfast was served, but she did not really touch anything, as he eyed her carefully. He did notice how for the last couple of days she was more playing with food then actually consuming it. And it did worry him slightly.

"Aren't you hungry? You haven't eaten anything since last breakfast." Colin said, sitting near her.

"Just don't feel like eating." She tried to brush it off but he would not take it.

"But you should eat at least something." He persuaded once again.

"I am not hungry." She said a bit harshly.

"It could not be true." He laughed slightly, trying to lighten overall mood, as he noticed how tense she was. "Maybe it's the food. Would you like something else?" He asked in a caring tone.

"No, actually, I should leave already. I have to see my mama." She quickly got up from the table, throwing a sorry look at him and leaving before he could say anything.

He was left alone at the table full of food and somehow, he felt somewhat empty without her near. Lately she's been doing it quite often. Leaving for all day. And he had nothing better to do than to work on his journal. It was coming along finally, he even felt almost ready to visit some publishers in the Town. But still in the end of day, laying in the same bed he could not help but wonder why she was so tense lately. It seemed like any small thing could sent her from zero to a hundred in just a few minutes. He saw how she was holding something down each time. Leaving and not saying anything or just brushing it off like it's nothing. But he was almost sure something was indeed going on that she was not telling him about. Especially lately he noticed how she would not even eat around him. Now he was not sure if it was just indeed around him. The worry grew inside him quite rapidly. Thinking about it, he also noticed how lately she became even more pale. He tried to remember the last time he saw her truly eating and he could not. Even at last breakfast… She had a toast and left. That was definitely not a definition of a healthy breakfast. He must talk to her. Maybe in the evening. As for now he had nothing better than to continue his writings.

It was way past supper time. He was deep into writing, still thoughts entering his mind from time to time. At least yesterday she made it home in time for supper. She didn't even have a bite. But she was home. Not today though. It was night already and she still wasn't home. He would be lying, saying he wasn't worried. It was very unusual for her. And from time to time his sight ran to the door, waiting for it to be open by her. As another hour went on, he was more than worried, but what could he really do? Maybe he should go and check at Featherington's. She would come home soon, something inside him was sure of it. Still, he needed to do something at this point.

Just as he closed his journal and got up, the door opened. It was almost midnight when she came home.

"Glad, you decided to show up, before I would go searching for you all over Mayfair." He said as he put his journal in the drawer.

"Sorry, I forgot the time." She said rushing to the bedroom. And he simply followed. Without saying a word, they got ready for bed.

She was laying on her back, staring at the ceiling as he was watching her closely. So many questions, so many thoughts.

"I was worried." Was all he managed to say.

"Sorry. I am okay." She looked at him saying those words.

And he excepted it. He missed her. That was the real truth. He simply, wholeheartedly missed her lately. Missed their jokes. Missed her sitting near him at the supper. He missed her smile and her light childish laugh.

As he took a deep breath, he moved closer to her, hugging her by her waist with one hand. His head close to her on the pillow. She was still looking straight at the ceiling, as he left a small lingering kiss on her shoulder. He hugged her closer to him and kissed her neck, his fingers running slowly on her arm.

"Please, don't." She said, as she took a deep breath.

"Is something wrong?" He was concerned.

"I am just not in the mood. I wish to sleep." She replied taking another deep breath.

"I can see that something is going on. Please, just tell me." He asked of her, as he left another comforting kiss on her shoulder.

"Colin…" She inhaled deeply. It felt like even air smelled differently now. It felt like this would never end. She could not sleep, she could not eat. Nothing felt the same. And everything felt annoying.

"Please, Pen. I am worried for you." He asked running his hand around her arm.

"I don't feel good." She said finally and after long pause she decided she could tell him. "Everything is just annoying. The food it's just not the same anymore. And even if I am trying to eat at least something, it just won't stay inside." There was a lot of frustration in her voice. "It's just too much." Now he heard like she was on the verge of crying.

"Pen… Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because you can't do anything about it. No one can." She said as tears started falling.

"I can be here for you." He kissed her shoulder once again, pulling her body closer.

"Can you just not touch me?" She said somewhat harshly as she moved away slightly. He was confused and she definitely felt it. She knew it was too much, but each touch felt like she would throw up now and there. "Sorry, sorry." She said as she looked him in the face. "Everything makes me nauseous, sorry. Just don't make me move. I just wish to sleep."

He was lost for what to do. He was really lost. The only thing that was clear that he wanted her close. So, he carefully hold her hand on top of the blanket, and looked at her asking.

"Is that okay?"

She turned to look at him as she said. "Yes." She half smiled and squeezed his hand. "Sorry."

"Don't apologize. Just tell me next time." He answered as he squeezed her hand back and added. "And don't leave tomorrow." He heard her take another deep breath. "I miss you." He felt her squeezing his hand stronger, as another few tears fell on her cheeks.

"Don't cry, please, everything is going to be alright." He reached to swap those tears away, but she just started crying even more. "What? What happened?" He was really confused what caused those tears.

"Nothing, nothing." She said though the tears, crying full on. "That just was so nice." And then he heard a small laugh coming though those tears, as he got even more confused.

As she noticed his face expression she added. "That is also a new bonus. Now I am crying without any reason." She laughed, as tears continue to roll down her face. But somehow her smile mirrored on his face, as he smiled at her.

"I missed you too." She said back, as he held her hand yet again.

"Can I kiss you?" He asked looking deeply into her eyes.

"I would really like that." She answered and their lips collided in a light caring kiss. He puled back shortly after and leaving yet another kiss on her shoulder said.

"Let's sleep then." He got more comfortable around her body, holding her hand. "And tomorrow we can find at least one dish that you will like." She just laughed lightly.

They fell asleep holding hands, like nothing mattered. And she felt somewhat better even. Maybe all she needed to do was to tell him indeed.