The Mayhem Critic
Aloha, my fellow readers. It is I, the great James Stryker, and I'm here to bring you another great chapter of The Mayhem Critic. Well, since I've finished Halloween Havoc IV, I guess it's time to move on to another Top 11 Countdown. Today, Sean the Mayhem Critic will be talking about the show where everybody knows your name. And that show is Cheers, one of my favorite sitcoms of all time. So sit back, relax and grab yourself a cold beer, here's the Top 11 Best Cheers Episodes. Enjoy.
P.S.: I do not own anything involved in this story. All rights belong to their respective sources. Cheers is owned by Charles/Burrows/Charles Productions and Paramount Television.
Episode 131
The Top 11 Best Cheers Episodes
"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. I'm Sean the Mayhem Critic, the critic that rips movies a new one." Sean said before bringing up the topic for today. "Today, we're going to be talking about one of the greatest sitcoms of all time. And the show that I'm talking about today is Cheers."
(The title screen for the show "Cheers" is shown, followed by clips from the show while the song "Where Everybody Knows Your Name" sung by Gary Portnoy plays)
Sean: (Narrating) What can I say about this show? It's one of the greatest sitcoms of all-time. If you don't know what the show is about, then let me tell you all what it's about since you've been living underneath a rock or you haven't heard of it. The show is about former Boston Red Sox relief pitcher Sam Malone, played by Ted Danson, who runs a little cozy bar where everybody knows your name. The show ran from 1982 to 1993 for 11 seasons and had two spin-offs called The Tortellis, which sucked balls, and Frasier, which was more successful and better than The Tortellis. Hell, you also have the characters from Cheers appearing on Wings, a show that was created by Peter Casey, David Lee and David Angell, they were also producers that worked on Cheers and Frasier. The show had some great and memorable characters and it also had some memorable episodes as well. But which episodes were the best? Which ones were the funniest? Which ones had us shipping Sam & Diane? Which ones had us shipping Sam & Rebecca? There's a lot to choose from 11 seasons and I promise to keep my spoilers to a minimum. Also, I will not be counting the episodes of Wings where some of the characters from Cheers appeared in, those were crossover episodes and also St. Elsewhere, which for some odd reason did a crossover with Cheers.
"Well, let's sit in our favorite stool and grab ourselves a cold one." Sean said as he grabs himself a can of beer. "This is the Top 11 Best Cheers Episodes."
(The "Cheers" intro plays as the "Top 11 Best Cheers Episodes" title appears)
Number 11: Breaking In Is Hard to Do (Season 9, Episode 7)
Sean: (Narrating) This episode has a couple of fun plots and man are they some of the funniest. Frasier and Lilith receive some devastating news about their one-year-old son Frederick, in this case he's intellectually average and he hasn't uttered his first word.
Dr. Lilith Sternin-Crane (Played by Bebe Neuwirth): Frasier, two people as gifted as we are were never meant to have an average baby. It's so unjust.
Dr. Frasier Crane (Played by Kelsey Grammer): Well, it's not the end of the world, my love. So, he won't be as erudite as his parents. He can still lead a happy, normal life like the rest of these people.
(Carla is seen with a bunch of straws sticking in her hair)
Norm Peterson (Played by George Wendt): And the new record- 53!
Carla Tortelli (Played by Rhea Perlman): Yow!
Dr. Frasier Crane: It's your fault, Lilith!
Dr. Lilith Sternin-Crane: What?
Dr. Frasier Crane: Yes! Obviously, you have an inferior gene pool!
Sean: (Narrating) You also have Norm getting mad about the parking meters and feeding them change. And on top of that, Rebecca receives a letter from Robin Colcord, a very dirty letter, which is making her pine for some physical contact with him since he's behind bars. With Carla's help, she talks Rebecca into going into the prison to see Robin and that way she can get some conjugal visit sex from her boy toy.
Robin Colcord (Played by Roger Rees): You know I want you more than anything, but we just can't take the chance.
Rebecca Howe (Played by Kirstie Alley) Why? I can be quiet.
Sean: (Narrating) So many funny moments in this episode, a couple of which that I like. You have Frasier and Lilith debating on who should stay home with their son because they've been busy with their jobs. And I absolutely love Frasier's reaction to what happens when Lilith's at home with their son after she does a sucky job at it.
Dr. Frasier Crane: Oh, my God.
Sam Malone (Played by Ted Danson): Everything, ok?
Dr. Frasier Crane: Oh, everything's fine, Sam. We just made one horrible mistake.
Sam Malone: What's that?
Dr. Frasier Crane: We left the child alone with it's mother.
Sean: (Narrating) You also have Rebecca trying to write a dirty letter with Carla helping her out, Rebecca's reaction to finding out that Robin is up for early parole and he can't have sex with her because it will ruin his chances at getting parole.
Rebecca Howe: You don't want to be in jail for another year. Well, what about my needs?! Carla, we're out of here!
Sean: (Narrating) You also have Frasier bringing Frederick to the bar with him and Lilith seeing him in the bar, which leads to one of the greatest Norm greetings ever.
Norm Peterson: (Enters the bar) Afternoon, everybody.
Frederick Crane: Norm!
(Everyone looks in shock, as well as the Cranes, after Frederick says his first word)
Dr. Lilith Sternin-Crane: He said, "mommy!"
Sean: (Narrating) My God, I laughed my ass off from watching that scene. It is one of the greatest and funniest moments ever. It just goes to show you that good writing holds up over the years, every time. The writers for the show are just epic. A great episode with some funny moments, the writers sure did give us what we want.
Carla Tortelli: Look, if you're not going to get into the spirit of soft porn, just forget about it.
(Interlude to next episode)
Number 10: Diane's Nightmare (Season 4, Episode 5)
Sean: (Narrating) In the show's fourth season, we get the return of Derek McGrath as crazy murderer "Andy-Andy" Schroeder, the guy who tried to strangle Diane back in season two. In this episode, Diane is studying for her exams and she ends up falling asleep. She ends up dreaming about "Andy-Andy" escaping from the asylum.
Norm Peterson: Hey, Diane. Remember that lunatic who tried to strangle you while you were doing that scene from Othello out there?
Sam Malone: Yeah, what was his name, Andy Schroeder?
Norm Peterson: There it is.
Diane Chambers (Played by Shelley Long): What about him?
Norm Peterson: Uh, it says here that he escaped from the state…
(Diane screams)
Norm Peterson: Whoa, she does remember.
Sam Malone: Yeah.
Sean: (Narrating) She dreams that he is out to kill her. When she wakes up, Frasier tells Diane that he's been talking to him and that she wants her to confront her fear. That is when she gets the surprise of her life when "Andy-Andy" shows up.
Andy Schroeder (Played by Derek McGrath): Hi, there.
(Frasier and Diane scream after Andy pops up)
Sean: (Narrating) He shows up only to ask Diane for a favor after he tells her that he's fallen in love with a girl that he met and that they're getting married. What makes this episode so great is the actor that they've got to guest star in the episode. We see that Andy introduces his fiancee Cynthia to Diane and the Cheers gang, and yes, she's played by Nancy Cartwright.
"No, I'm not kidding. She's played by Nancy Cartwright from The Simpsons." Sean said.
Cynthia (Played by Nancy Cartwright): I've heard so much about you all.
Sam Malone: Ha ha.
Cynthia: Andy, I really love your bar.
Sean: (Narrating) And you want to know what's funny? Every time I watch that episode and when I see her character and hear her talk, all I hear is Bart Simpson talking.
Cynthia: (Her lines are replaced with Bart's lines) You think I'm dumb enough to fall for that? I'm insulted.
Sean: (Narrating) The episode has a pretty clever ending to it, which I will not spoil it for you. The ending is pretty hilarious. Let's just say that you have one dream and that dream turned out to be another dream. The writers knew what they were doing. You have to check the episode out for yourself.
Carla Tortelli: And by the way, I love your choker.
Cynthia: I'm not wearing a choker.
Carla Tortelli: You will be.
(Interlude to next episode)
Number 9: Coach's Daughter (Season 1, Episode 5)
Sean: (Narrating) In the show's earlier seasons, there was a character named Ernie Pantusso, also known as "Coach", played by actor/director Nicholas Colasanto, who sadly passed away from a heart attack back in 1985 during the show's third season. During the first season, there was an episode that focuses on Coach. We see that his daughter Lisa, played by Allyce Beasley, comes to visit with her fiance Roy, played by actor/director Philip Charles MacKenzie. She introduces him to her father and the Cheers gang. Well, here's the thing about Roy.
Coach (Played by Nicholas Colasanto): The man's a pig. I just had dinner with a pig. He's even more disgusting when he's around food.
Sam Malone: That's hard to believe.
Coach: Hard to believe? The last thing I saw, he was pulling his chair up to a dessert cart.
Sean: (Narrating) Yeah, Lisa's fiance Roy is rude and obnoxious. The guy is a suit salesman and he is about as cocky as a man can be. Hell, even the bar patrons take a dislike to him because he's a straight-up skunkbag.
Roy (Played by Philip Charles MacKenzie): Your mother! Like no one ever knocked over a dessert cart before. Hey, how about a beer, huh?
Coach: Aah!
Sean: (Narrating) It's like Coach wants to strangle the life from out of that man. The episode had some funny moments like that guy Chuck, who's a janitor at a biology lab and after he leaves Sam and the bar patrons start spraying everything down. That scene got an applause from the audience. One of the show's finest moments and it's comedic gold. But the best highlight of the show is the heartfelt moment between Coach and his daughter when he tells her that she couldn't marry Roy.
Coach: But you're so beautiful… so…
Lisa Pantusso (Played by Allyce Beasley): Beautiful? Daddy, you have been saying that I'm beautiful ever since I was a very little girl, but look at me! Not as my father, but like you're looking at me for the first time, and please try to see me as I really am.
Coach: Oh, my God. I didn't realize how much you look like your mother.
Lisa Pantusso: I know. I look exactly like her, and Mom was not… comfortable about her beauty.
Coach: But that's what made her more beautiful. Your mother grew more beautiful every day of her life.
Lisa Pantusso: She was really beautiful?
Coach: Yes, and so are you. You're the most beautiful kid in the whole world.
Lisa Pantusso: Thanks, Daddy.
(Lisa hugs her father)
Sean: (Narrating) A funny yet heartwarming episode that you should all check out.
Roy: What about Pennsylvania?
Lisa Pantusso: Roy, you don't get Pennsylvania, and you don't get me. You just get more and more obnoxious.
(Interlude to next episode)
Number 8: What is Cliff Clavin? (Season 8, Episode 14)
Sean: (Narrating) This classic episode and one of the funniest episodes as well from the show's eighth season and this is one that fans of the show consider to be one of the best episodes because it features a special guest star and we will talk about him. In this episode, Cliff puts his knowledge of trivial information to the test by appearing on Jeopardy!. And when you think of trivial knowledge, Cliff is the best person to go to. Hell, he's basically the best man to appear on Jeopardy!.
Alex Trebek: And here are the categories for you. Civil Servants, Stamps From Around the World, Mothers and Sons, Beer, Bar Trivia and finally… Celibacy.
(Norm chuckles)
Woody Boyd (Played by Woody Harrelson) This has got to be Mr. Clavin's dream board.
Norm Peterson: Sure, he's home free as long as he doesn't get too cocky.
Alex Trebek: Cliff, could I get you to pick a category and an amount.
Cliff Clavin (Played by John Ratzenberger): Why don't you go ahead and pick any one you want. I mean, I am feeling lucky today. Whoa!
Norm Peterson: Uh-oh.
Sean: (Narrating) Now you might think that he's going to win, I would reveal to you what happens but let's just say that he does something so hilariously stupid. Oh, screw it. I'll tell you. He gets overconfident in Final Jeopardy and he ends up betting it all.
Alex Trebek: You bet it all. Cliff, why would you do something like that?
Cliff Clavin: It's because I knew that those people had never been in my kitchen. You can ask them. Come on, Tony Curtis is still alive. Get him on the phone, go ahead, I'll pay for the call.
Sean: (Narrating) There's also a subplot where Sam receives a series of phone calls from his exes, because somebody stole his little black book, but this episode really soars because it focuses on Cliff and a stellar guest appearance from the legendary Alex Trebek.
Carla Tortelli: Hey, can I ask you a question?
Alex Trebek: Sure.
Carla Tortelli: Do all you popular game show hosts know each other?
Alex Trebek: Oh, I see what you're getting at. The answer is, no, I don't know Vanna White all that well.
Carla Tortelli: Good. Then you'll believe me when I tell you that I'm better than her in bed.
Alex Trebek: Will you excuse me?
Carla Tortelli: Hey, I can turn over letter you've never seen before.
Sean: (Narrating) Cheers had their fair share of guest stars and this is one of the best guest stars ever. Now, this episode gained a more emotional resonance in the wake of Trebek's death back in 2020. If you haven't seen this episode, then go check it out.
Alex Trebek: I just came in here for a beer, but I saw Cliff, and I figure I'd better say something, so I made up that story about quitting. He scares me.
Norm Peterson: You too, huh?
Number 7: Simon Says (Season 5, Episode 21)
Sean: (Narrating) Aside from great guest stars like Alex Trebek, in the show's fifth season, which is the most popular season and it was the season that Cheers was at the peak of both it's popularity and it's power and this episode is a great example. In this episode, Sam and Diane attend a couple's counseling session ahead of their wedding ceremony. And the counseling session is provided by Frasier's colleague from his Rhodes scholar days, Dr. Simon Finch-Royce, played brilliantly by John Cleese. Yep, that's right. John Cleese from Monty Python and Fawlty Towers guest starred in an episode of Cheers and let me just say that he is hilarious in the episode.
Dr. Simon Finch-Royce (Played by John Cleese): Well now, where to begin? Usually at this point, you'd tell me what a loathsome, contemptible swine he is and you'd describe in some detail what a wanton libidinous trollop she is. But as you're only engaged, we'll just have to look forward to that.
Sean: (Narrating) He then tells Sam and Diane that they should not get married because they have nothing in common and they have an appalling lack of communication. Damn, that's one way to give them the blunt honest truth.
Carla Tortelli: Wait a minute. Somebody's suggesting Sam and Diane aren't right for each other. Where have I heard that before? Of course, my prayers.
Sean: (Narrating) Hell, they even go through the ends of the Earth to annoy the guy by proving to him that they're right for each other, mostly because of Diane being annoying as hell. I mean, who could blame him? Sam and Diane aren't perfect for each other and this poor guy is trying to have some peace and quiet and yet, you have the two of them just annoying the hell out of him and in the final scene, he's just had it with the two of them, and it's funny as hell.
Dr. Simon Finch-Royce: Sam, Diane, you two are perfect together. I'm sorry I made a mistake, but I now see that you're the most perfectly matched couple on the face of the Earth. But why am I telling you this? Let's share it with the rest of the world, shall we? (Opens window) Hear this, world! The rest of you can stop getting married now. It's been done to perfection. Envy them, sofa! Envy them, chair! For you shall never be as cozy as they, for I guarantee their marriage will be a total epoch shattering success. And I STAKE MY LIFE ON IT!
Sean: (Narrating) This episode won an Emmy Award for Outstanding Guest Performer in a Comedy Series for John Cleese. With his acting performance plus Peter Casey and David Lee's script makes it all wonderful to watch.
Dr. Simon Finch-Royce: I've grown to hate them.
(Interlude to next episode)
Number 6: An Old-Fashioned Wedding (Season 10, Episode 25 and Episode 26)
Sean: (Narrating) Okay, this episode is a prime example of the show still having plenty of juice even after 10 years on the air. When you expect an episode like this which involves a wedding, you can expect a lot of craziness happening. And my God, a lot of craziness happens in this episode. It focuses on Woody and Kelly's wedding day and a lot of things happen on their wedding day. You have Woody and Kelly having sex before their wedding and them getting horny for each other and they try to hide their prenuptial affair from Kelly's father. And this is where the craziness doesn't end because you've gotta involve Sam and the Cheers gang and knowing them, they'll find ways of getting into trouble and also Carla's astrological chart, and because of Carla being the superstitious one, disaster happens. You have the caterers for the wedding walking out because of Rebecca telling them to leave, you have some German guy trying to kill Sam for macking with his hot wife and on top of all of that, you have the minister who drops dead before the ceremony!
Rebecca Howe: He can't be dead. He just sat down to take a little nap.
Sam Malone: Frasier, are you sure?
Dr. Frasier Crane: I trained as a physician. Believe me, he's dead. You don't make that mistake twice.
Sean: (Narrating) Holy shit. And on top of all that, they have to find a replacement minister. In which they do which is Kelly's Uncle Roger, who's a minister and he's also a drunk too. What makes this episode so good is the writing. Veteran writer for Cheers David Lloyd wrote the episode and it is filled to the brim with hilarious gags, my favorite running gag is Carla getting dropped in the dumbwaiter by Sam after she grabs the dead minister, it is pretty hilarious.
Sam Malone: Lord. At the very least, I thought I'd get the living daylights kicked out of me.
Carla Tortelli: (While pulling up on the dumbwaiter) The night is young.
(Sam closes the dumbwaiter door as Carla screams while when the dumbwaiter drops)
Sean: (Narrating) Throw in some of Lilith trying to entertain the guests before the wedding and you got yourself a damn funny episode with lots of laughs.
(The dead minister falls on top of the cake)
(Interlude to next episode)
Number 5: Thanksgiving Orphans (Season 5, Episode 9)
Sean: (Narrating) Here's another classic episode from the show's fifth season and this is one the most memorable episodes ever, and this one popped up in TV Land's Top 10 Holiday Moments, the episode's premise focuses on the main characters that are either stranded or they have nothing better to do on Thanksgiving, so they all spend Thanksgiving at Carla's.
Cliff Clavin: Hey, Carla. Look, I want to tell you how much I appreciate you inviting me over here.
Carla Tortelli: Don't mention it.
Cliff Clavin: I really appreciate it.
Carla Tortelli: No, I mean don't ever mention to anyone that I let you in this house.
Sean: (Narrating) Again, this leads to a lot of great possibilities, like Diane arriving at Carla's dressed as a pilgrim…
Diane Chambers: Carla, I like what you've done with the place.
Carla Tortelli: What do you want?
Diane Chambers: Well, I decided I'd rather be among friends than my stuffy old professor.
Sean: (Narrating) ...everybody getting at each other's throats while waiting for Norm's turkey…
Dr. Frasier Crane: (Yells) The little pop thing has a name! It's called a thermometer! Now, can we all please say thermometer?
Everybody: (Yells) THERMOMETER!
Norm Peterson: Thermometer! Yeah! We can say it 'til we're blue in the face.
Sean: (Narrating) ...and plus, we get one of the most memorable moments from the episode where everybody gets into a food fight.
(Everybody prepares to throw food at each other)
Diane Chambers: People, people, people, people! STOP THIS IMMEDIATELY!
(No one makes a move)
Diane Chambers: I have never been witness to such a silly, soph…
(Diane gets interrupted by Sam after he throws some cranberry sauce on her)
Diane Chambers: Sam Malone… kiss your butt goodbye!
Carla Tortelli: Food fight!
(Everyone starts throwing food at each other)
Sean: (Narrating) Here's a little known fact about this episode, it was written by Bill Steinkellner and his wife Cheri Eichen-Steinkellner, who would go on to create the Disney show Teacher's Pet. They've written a bunch of episodes from season four to season ten. This is one episode to check out. Also, we see Norm's wife Vera… sorta
(Vera is shown with pie all over her face)
Norm Peterson: Everybody, this is Vera.
(Interlude to next episode)
Number 4: Rebound (Season 3, Episode 1 and Episode 2)
Sean: (Narrating) In the show's third season premiere, it starts off after the events of the second season finale, in which it ended with Sam and Diane's explosive break-up. Turns out that none of them dealt with their break-up very well. Sam deals with it by drinking again and womanizing. Coach becomes deeply disturbed by Sam drinking again and he has no idea what to do, so he goes to the only person who could help… Diane. Yeah, it turns out that she didn't deal with the break-up either and she is reluctant to get involved.
Coach: Diane, you might be my last chance. Sam's boozing again.
Diane Chambers: Oh, dear.
Sean: (Narrating) Yes, it got dramatic with some moments with Coach worrying about Sam. This is the man who helped Sam stop drinking, his best friend, his mentor. It crushes him to see Sam drinking again. So when Diane returns to talk to Sam to get him to stop drinking, but Sam is still scornful towards her after their break-up.
Coach: You've been boozing with two hands ever since Diane walked out on you.
Diane Chambers: Sam, I'm so sorry.
Sam Malone: You know, you both are crazier than hell. I threw her out of here. And my drinking has got nothing, repeat, nothing, to do with Diane Chambers. You hear that, everybody?
Everybody: Nothing!
Sam Malone: No, you're all wrong.
Everyone: Sorry.
Sam Malone: I did start drinking when she left. I was celebrating. Celebrating the day I got rid of you. You hear that, everybody?
Everyone: Celebrating!
Diane Chambers: Well, let me tell you something, Sam. I have two birthdays now… one to mark the occasion when my mother bore me and one to commemorate my glorious rebirth when I walked out of here.
Sean: (Narrating) I just love the cast in this episode, Ted Danson plays it off as a drunken Sam. He could be hilarious and he does give a couple of good laughs. But what does it for me is the first appearance of this character, who would go on to have his own sitcom after Cheers. That's right, the episode marks the first appearance of Kelsey Grammer as Dr. Frasier Crane, Diane's psychiatrist and also her lover.
(A clip from iCarly is shown)
Sam Puckett (Played by Jennette McCurdy): Oh, my God. No, no, no.
Sean: (Narrating) Yeah, that's right. Frasier helps out Sam with getting sober and counseling and he learns that Frasier and Diane are dating…
(The same clip from iCarly is shown once more)
Sam Puckett: Oh, my God. No, no, no.
Sean: (Narrating) And in the third season, we get the Sam/Diane/Frasier love triangle. And this is before he married Dr. Lilith Sternin later on in the series…
(The same clip from iCarly plays once again)
Sam Puckett: Oh, my God. No, no, no.
"Hey, hey, hey! At least she was better than Diane. Until Lilith cheated on him with another man in season eleven." Sean said.
(Another clip from iCarly is shown)
Sam Puckett: Hasn't life already penalized you enough?
Sean: (Narrating) The episode had some funny and dramatic moments, we get an incredibly lame pun from Coach and the debut of an iconic character. Need I say more?
Sam Malone: We're through. That's it. Now get the hell out of here.
Dr. Frasier Crane: Sam, we did it!
(Frasier hugs Sam)
(Interlude to next episode)
Number 3: The Bar Wars Episodes (Seasons 6, Episode 23/Season 7, Episode 10/Season 8, Episode 21/Season 10, Episodes 7 and 23/Season 11, Episode 19)
Sean: (Narrating) Okay, with a title like that, you know there's going to be some craziness involved. So, there's this rivalry between Cheers and rival bar Gary's Olde Towne Tavern which involves a series of pranks. And you don't know what to expect from those guys, you don't know what kind of silliness is involved.
Rebecca Howe: I don't understand why you guys think it is so cool to play these stupid practical jokes?
Sam Malone: Honey, it's what keeps the child in us alive. Otherwise, we'd be just mature adults.
Rebecca Howe: Yeah. I'd lie awake at night worrying about that one.
Sean: (Narrating) Yeah, a lot of crazy stuff happens in these episodes and I just love the great rivalry between Sam and Gary, played either by Joel Polis and Robert Desiderio. You got like crazy pranks and humiliation like Gary putting sheep in Rebecca's office, sending phony pest exterminators to Cheers and create a false rat scare to drive away the customers, Carla 'taps' Gary's new satellite TV feed, and replacing it with a recording of Norm and Cliff reciting Dante Gabriel Rosetti poetry. You even have guest star Wade Boggs appearing in the episode and the Cheers gang de-pants him thinking that he's an imposter sent by Gary, Woody getting tied up and hung upside down, you also have Sam, Norm, Cliff and Woody humiliating themselves by shaving the letters of Gary's name on top of their heads. Then, you have the ultimate pranks that turn out to be pretty good like Sam thinking that his prank went a little too far by making him think that he killed Gary, only for Gary and the Cheers gang pranking Sam, then on the next one you have Sam getting payback on his friends for pulling that prank on him. But my favorite one would have to be Bar Wars VII: The Naked Prey, which was during the show's final season and it is all-out war when Sam, Norm, Cliff, Woody and Paul get humiliated by Gary after he builds a brick wall around the bar and they end up stripping naked in front of the bar patrons and sing "Getting to Know You" from The King and I, and after that humiliation it really pissed Sam off and he vows revenge on Gary.
Sam Malone: I'll tell you something, man. I'm going to get you. I don't care how long it takes, how much money it costs, how many lives are lost. I'm going to get you, Gary. Once and for all.
Gary (Played by Robert Desiderio): Ooh, I hope not, because I'm still shaking from that terrifying $5.00-beer prank.
Sean: (Narrating) And they enlist the help of Harry the Hat, played by the late Harry Anderson, but he's not interested in helping them.
Harry the Hat (Played by Harry Anderson): Stop trying to top Gary. You're never gonna beat him. Face it, you're a bunch of losers. It's nothing to be ashamed of. It's your nature. You know, it's the way God made you. You're part of his master plan. If it weren't for you guys, how would we know who the winners were?
Sean: (Narrating) I'm not going to spoil it but it does involve a bulldozer destroying Gary's bar and who was responsible for the dastardly prank. If you're in the mood to look at some funny and hilarious pranks, then these episodes will definitely put a smile on your face. If you don't watch them, then let Al say this.
Al (Played by Al Ruscio): Pretty weenie.
(Interlude to next episode)
Number 2: Death Takes a Holiday on Ice (Season 8, Episode 7)
Sean: (Narrating) There was a character back in season five that Carla fell in love with a goalie named Eddie LeBec, played by the late Jay Thomas, who would go on to play as Murphy Brown's love interest Jerry Gold in Murphy Brown. Carla got pregnant by him and the two of them got married. During his LA radio show, Thomas made some unflattering remarks about Rhea Perlman and having to kiss her during an on-air call. And this is where this episode comes in. In this episode, Carla learns that her husband Eddie was killed in a freak accident at the ice show. Carla seems to take the news of Eddie's death surprisingly well, hell, she doesn't even cry about it. Until the funeral when the priest calls for Mrs. LeBec, and this is where it gets crazy, it turns out that Eddie was leading a secret life, revealing that he was married to another woman.
Gloria LeBec (Played by Anne DeSalvo): I am Gloria LeBec, as in Eddie LeBec. Who the hell are you?
Carla Tortelli: I'm Carla LeBec, Eddie's poor, grieving widow.
Gloria LeBec: I'm Eddie's poor, grieving widow.
Carla Tortelli: That's impossible. See this? (Shows her the ring)
Gloria LeBec: Yeah? Well, see this? (Shows her the ring)
Carla Tortelli: Yeah? Well, see this? (Shows her a fist)
Sean: (Narrating) Yeah, how crazy is that? Turns out that Gloria and Eddie fell in love with each other while his ice show was in her hometown. We also get a hilarious fight at a funeral where you have Carla and Gloria pulling at each other's hair while Sam tries to break them up and everybody starts beating each other up while Norm was just busy chilling in the back while drinking a beer. Now, that's comedic gold. What made this episode great is the guest stars before they made it big. You have Kevin Conroy, who plays Red Sox player Darryl Mead, who would go on to play this character…
(A clip from Batman: The Animated Series is shown)
Batman (Voiced by Kevin Conroy): I am vengeance… I am the night… I AM BATMAN!
"So yeah, Kevin Conroy played bat man before he became Batman." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) ...you also have a young Thomas Haden Church, who played Gordie Brown, the guy who Eddie saved. This was one of his first roles before he would star in the sitcom Wings as Lowell Mather.
"And for those of you who haven't heard of the sitcom Wings, what the hell are you idiots thinking?! Why haven't you watched that show? It has a great cast. You have Tim Daly before he played the voice of Superman in Superman: The Animated Series. Nobody hasn't even watched Wings? It's about two guys, Joe and Brian Hackett, and they're both pilots. There's also a fat guy with a moustache, Roy Biggins. He's hilarious. You also have Crystal Bernard as Helen Chapel. Man, she was smoking hot and that Texan accent of hers, mmm. Mostly because Crystal Bernard is from Garland, Texas. There was also Alex Lambert, who became Brian's love interest. And later on in the show, Amy Yasbeck played Helen's sister Casey, and I thought Casey was smoking hot as well. It took place in an airport, it was on for eight years. The show made Tony Shaloub's career! It's an awesome show. I watch it, my friend Lucas watches it. Man, crazy people living under a rock. Don't know Wings. I LOVE WINGS!" Sean exclaimed.
Sean: (Narrating) This episode is entertaining to watch with some great guest stars and some hilarious moments and heartwarming moments, this episode will always be my favorite.
Carla Tortelli: (Sings) O Canada. (Stops singing) 6-ball, corner pocket. (Sings) Our home and native land.
"Now before I reveal the number one episode, here are a few runners up." Sean said.
Runners Up
Give Me a Ring Sometime (Season 1, Episode 1)
Strange Bedfellows (Season 4, Episodes 24-26)
Home is the Sailor (Season 6, Episode 1)
It's Lonely On the Top (Season 11, Episode 22)
The Executive's Executioner (Season 3, Episode 21)
Cry Hard/Cry Harder (Season 8, Episodes 25 and 26)
The Gift of the Woodi (Season 7, Episode 19)
The Bar Manager, The Shrink, His Wife and Her Lover (Season 11, Episode 17)
I Do, Adieu (Season 5, Episode 26)
(Interlude to next episode)
Sean: (V/O) And the number one best Cheers episode of all time is…
Number 1: One for the Road (Season 11, Episode 26)
Sean: (Narrating) If you didn't think that this episode would make it to the number one spot, then it did. Fans love this episode for a few good reasons and the series finale found a way to wrap up all of its ongoing storylines. But the episode's main focus is on the return of Shelley Long as Diane Chambers.
Diane Chambers: Hello, everyone!
(Carla sees Diane and screams)
Diane Chambers: Nice to see you too, Carla.
Sam Malone: Diane… what are you doing here?
(Carla screams again)
Sean: (Narrating) Aside from the return of Diane, we see that Rebecca gets married to Don Santry after he proposes to her, Woody is city councilman, Cliff gets promoted to postal assistant supervisor and Norm gets a new job. Hmm, what else is missing? Oh, yeah. Sam and Diane get back together and they announce their engagement and moving to California, to which Sam's friends disapprove.
Dr. Frasier Crane: Have you lost your freaking mind?!
Sam Malone: What are you talking about?
Dr. Frasier Crane: The two of you had a relationship whose best moments were full of anguish and self-loathing. After 10 hours with this woman, you want to give up your life, your livelihood, and move with her to California?
Sean: (Narrating) Spoiler alert: Sam doesn't go to California with Diane. We get a lot of humor and some heartfelt moments. I especially love the part where Sam and the gang are sitting around drinking a beer and smoking a cigar and talking about the meaning of life. It's even great to see the show's supporting cast move on to new chapters in each of their lives. Hell, I tear up a bit when I watch the finale. It was the perfect ending to a perfect series and the finale had the perfect ending. If you haven't seen the episode, then go check it out. You won't be disappointed. It's full of laughs and tears. It shows that the cast had entertained us for 11 years and it's time to say goodbye. One for the Road is a final toast to a superb series.
(We cut to a shot of the bar seen from the street at night)
"And that is all for the Top 11 Best Episodes of Cheers. If there's an episode that I haven't mentioned in the countdown, then let me know in the comments. Until then, I'm Sean the Mayhem Critic and I'll tell 'ya, I'm the luckiest son of a bitch on earth." Sean said before he gets up from off of the couch.
Mayhem Critic Tagline- Norm!
So, what did you think of my picks for the Top 11 Best Episodes of Cheers for The Mayhem Critic? I hope that you all love the new chapter since next year marks the show's 40th anniversary. Next time on The Mayhem Critic, Sean reviews both Stakeout and Another Stakeout. With two films about two wacky detectives spying on a hot woman, how bad could it be? Then afterwards, Commercials VII: The Commercials Awakens. Then after Commercials VII, it's time to look at Christmas stuff when I review the 1979 Rankin-Bass Christmas special Jack Frost. Here's some of the Christmas movies that I'll be reviewing in December.
-Jack Frost (The 1979 Rankin-Bass cartoon)
-A Loud House Christmas
-Home Sweet Home Alone
-Die Hard 2
-A Christmas Story
I hope that you're all excited for all of the Christmas specials and movies that I'll be reviewing in December. Hopefully, Lucas and I get Commercials VII done before December. Feel free to leave a review, add this story to your favorites and follow it for future updates. If you want to co-review any of the Christmas movies or specials with me, feel free to PM me about it. I'll see you guys next time. Till next time, my fellow readers.