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Mrs. J.K., Sometimes I forget the age of my puppets and let them do stuff a few years too soon. However, I could do with an older sister or cousin giving me The Talk when I was their age. My teenage years were one big clueless stumbling mess… maybe I am compensating and projecting all my past frustrations on Harry… Well, I never said I was good at it.

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It would, they were adjusting their stiffie in their pants, and have a hungry look in their eyes. Maybe I put too many pictures in their head.

12 The final Horcrux.

I retreated slowly, "Boys? Keep it at a fantasy. Stuff like that will never happen in real life… Hmm, it does, but not in the next Seven years… Five… Four at the earliest. Come, I'll bet the girls are waiting outside.

Harry came to his senses, "You are right, thank you Hermione, so… I am allowed to let fantasy Hermione do whatever I want?"

I shrugged while I was walking to the door, "Sure, go for it, it is your imagination after all. Ah, girls, were you waiting for us?"

The girls entered the room, I explained, "From now on we keep it at Saturday evening fun with above-the-covers action and kisses, nothing more. No, no protests, Tonks agreed we moved too fast."

I grinned, "Now that's behind us, who is up for a Treasure Hunt?"

Xxxxx

I showed them the Room of Lost Things, "Ladies and Lords, behold the Room of Lost Things! This room is used by the Elves to store all the things students lost over the years. This varies from a lost sock to some dangerous cursed objects or books and broken furniture. So if you find some fancy jewelry, chances are it is cursed, so levitate it into a bag or trunk, there are bound to be trunks in here. If it feels evil it probably is evil. If you feel the urge to take it in your hands or hang it around your neck, run away from it!"

My last advice is "Move in pairs or groups of three. When it is time for Dinner I will cast sparks and call out at the door to guide you back."

Neville took off with Hannah and Susan, Harry with the Patils, Daphne and Tracey. Poor me was guarding the door. Did you know I can do the Accio spell? Accio precious books got me peppered with a bunch of old books… all three of them. I forgot Tom must have looted this place before… "Accio Tom Riddle's secret stash!"

Don't mock me! It could work! A beaded bag floated to me, that is Tom's secret stash? An old carpet bag? What is a carpet bag you ask? Just that, a small carpet folded double with some handholds and closed at the sides. Carefully I put the bag on the floor and with a stick I made the opening wider to see what's in it.

A bunch of small boxes, no, they are trunks shrunken to Cigar-box size, probably with a weightless spell. What do I do with this? Dumbledore would confiscate it and give them back to Tom to let the Prophecy run its course, Sirius would get himself killed examining them, I can't leave it here, not now the girls discovered this new playground. I'll keep it in my trunk for now and set a team of goblin curse breakers on it when I return home on our Easter break. Carefully I put the three books on top of the trunks and closed the bag.

Parvati found a few trunks with high-class clothes and matching jewelry from a few centuries ago, as a fashion geek she was over the Moon. Padma found a bunch of old course books about Runes, Arithmancy, Alchemy, and Enchanting to name the best ones, she was over the Moon too.

Tracey hit it big with a trunk full of old brooms, as a Quidditch fanatic she recognized some collector-worthy brooms, Tracey was over the Moon with her brooms. Daphne scored a few Rune carving sets and some old paintings, she recognized some of the names of wizards that became famous for their Normal paintings in the Normal World. These could be sold in the Normal world as their early work for a lot of money. Harry just helped search and carry the load… Whipped!

Susan recognized some old Vintage Law books for her aunt and a trunk with the Bones' coat of arms on it. One from her ancestors, no doubt. Hannah was not frightened by my warning and levitated all kinds of jewelry in a damaged Dragon hide bag. Neville dragged a Trunk full of underwear in Badgers' colors along. He must have heard of the Legendary Hufflepuff Panty Raid. I bet he will get good points for returning the lost treasure.

Xxxxx

Quirrell will not be coming back, we have been without a Dada teacher since Halloween, and it is almost February, I bet Dumbledore is afraid to teach the class, there would be a chance the curse attached to him. Meh, we do self-study, the only ones hurt by it are the OWL class and NEWT class, they got shafted badly.

History is interesting now, according to the older students, they said that they actually learned something in that class. A lot of the older girls kissed me for that… on the cheek! Some adventurous second-year boys wanted to express their gratitude that way too, Harry showed that kissing was not the only thing Tonks was tutoring, that boy has a jealous streak a mile long, he doesn't like to share… Neville is an exception, that is an equal exchange.

Potions you ask? Professor Savage is the most popular teacher at the moment. Even Flitwick is second to him. His class provides high-quality potions, because it is a tutoring class, he made a deal with outside buyers to sell the students' O-graded potions for a 10% commission. That had two effects, the students were concentrating 100 % in his class, and he got a nice bonus by selling the potions. Win-Win for Professor Savage. Snape? Meh, fuck him, I won't… ever!

Our study group, yes we do that too! We are top of our year, it would be embarrassing with that many Claws in our group otherwise. I showed them the proper way to write our essays and demonstrated how to improve their penmanship, Harry's mostly. Not familiar with a quill he is up to his elbows in ink the first months, it gets better, but it is slow progress. His handwriting is awful and those quills are not helping to get it better. The carrot and stick method to improve his penmanship was an idea of Daphne, that little bint is doing everything to promote herself to Harry. It is working though.

Neville's reputation went up after he presented the Hufflepuff Panty Raid Loot, it was authenticated when Sprout identified one of her knickers. With two girls hanging on his arms, he got a lot of respect from the older boys no doubt he will be the future leader of the Puffs.

Zabini you ask? Well, when Harry asked to involve him in our Saturday after-dinner sessions, Tracey asked if we would not mind practicing kissing on boys because Blaise was definitively into that. Harry looked at Neville, both shook their heads. We spotted Blaise a lot with Theo Nott, so he is getting like-minded friends. We hang out with him occasionally too, mostly in the library.

The loudmouth Weasel? After his introduction at the sorting and Mommy's howler, he is not exactly popular in the House of Snakes. Isolated, the weasel has nobody to play chess with or discuss the Chudley Cannon's losing streak. To avoid bullying he took on studying and finishing his homework on time, slowly he got into the pureblood mentality, he even practiced his table manners and eating habits, tutored by Millicent Bulstrode and Pansy Parkinson. Meh, he will survive, Mommy will set him straight next summer.

Malfoy? He did not get a howler, but rumors are that Malfoy Senior was spotted buying fertility potions and is planning to attempt for a more worthy heir. What they think about Draco was shown by the lack of owls at breakfast or that he had the spend Christmas at Hogwarts. The social pressure is crushing him, that and the pranks of the Weasel Twins.

Dumbledore is losing his grip on the Wizarding community, the Basilisk was a major blow to his reputation, and he banned howlers from being delivered in the Wards these days. My advice to Lord Black and his peers to buy shares of the Daily Prophet resulted in them reporting everything in favor of their new stockholders. Sirius doesn't like Dumbledore shows in the newspaper, the new reporters are experts in finding Dumbledore's dirty laundry… some Anonymous letters pointed them in the right direction. I doubt he will be next year's Headmaster.

Xxxxx

Once I saw Draco write in a black little diary, I paid the twins to steal the book and hand it to me. Two days later I was the proud owner of Tom Marvolo's Diary. The best hundred Galleons I ever spent. After having confirmed it was Tom's Diary, I let them replace the Diary with one of mine... An empty one!

I wrote on the first page, Dear Draco! Writing in a Diary that writes back at you is not a good idea! That was a test of your father to see you were worthy to be a proper Malfoy! He wanted to find out you had what it takes to overcome challenges and hardship, to prove you are cunning. Tell him you put the book into the mudblood friend of Potter's bag and saw her writing in it. That will please him for sure. Mind you, if you tell him you lost it, then I suppose your future brother will be a fine Lord Malfoy.

In my room I wrote in the Diary: Hello Tommy Riddle, I could not stop myself to deliver you a message.

Tom wrote back, Who are you? What happened to my friend Draco? Is he OK? What is your message?

I smiled when I responded, He is OK now, I could not help noticing his efforts to pour his soul into this Diary and wanted to help him out. Did you know it takes a special pen to write with Basilisk Venom? I had to dilute the Venom with ink though, you know, to slow the process. Did you know there was a Basilisk in the Chamber of Secrets? I helped to kill that snake and got a vial of Venom as part of my cut. Ah yes, the same Venom I am using to write in your little Black Book.

Tom panicked, STOP! What are you doing? Why do you want to destroy this Diary? I never hurt anyone! This is just a harmless enchantment to imitate real life!

I dipped my pen in the inkpot and answered, But Tommy, the other part of your Soul has harmed a lot of people. Yes, he did, he even made other trinkets like yours. Hmm, seven was the best Magic number, was it? Yeah, then I got them all. Do you think I am evil for gloating? I heard that was something you loved to do over your victims so I thought to try it out. I must say that it is quite satisfying, no wonder you did that a lot. I must say that pretending to be a pureblood was a nice touch, as a fellow Mudblood I applaud you for your cunning deception. Ah, you are beginning to smoke, not a healthy habit though. Say hi to your Mum and Dad upstairs and all the people you killed all those years, I bet they want to show their appreciation for cutting their life short. Goodbye, asshole.

I poured the rest of the Venom into the Diary and watched Tommy Vapor leave for the next great adventure. I admit, that gloating was more fun than I thought, I have to do that more. My Gramps from my old life said it was foolish, get rid of your enemies fast before they can recuperate was his credo. Meh, girls want to have fun, Cindy Lauper said so.

Anyway, all that is left is the main part, or he turned his snake into one. Where is that thing now Quirrell did not bring it along from Albania?

I owled the Diary to Lord Black with the explanation of where I got it from. The last line of my letter said, Contact Lady Malfoy and demand the Elf Dobby as compensation for the life debt of Draco to me for saving his soul from Voldemort. Winky will have a companion that way, I bet he would not mind helping out cleaning Grimmauld Place.

Xxxxx

At Easter Break, Lord Black visited our home with Harry and Dobby, after the greetings and Winky's excellent tea and cake, Sirius came to the point of their visit.

He pointed at Dobby and explained to my parents, "Narcissa Malfoy nee Black asked me to mediate for her to fulfill the life debt Draco has with Hermione. On Hermione's demand, she is handing Dobby over to her."

He looked at me and said, "She told me to express her gratitude for saving her son's Soul and found the trade barely enough as compensation, she told me that you can ask one more boon from her personally."

Sirius added, "To pay off the life debt, Hermione has to accept Dobby as her Elf. That is what we came here for."

Dad looked at me and asked, "Sweetie? Are you collecting House Elves for a reason? You know that Winky doesn't have enough work here to keep her busy, why did you ask for Dobby?"

I shrugged, "They treated Dobby badly, and just like Winky, he can help Lord Black clean his houses… Lord Black? Does Harry have properties? They can clean them too."

Sirius shook his head, "Potter Mansion got destroyed in the war, and the cottage at Godrick's Hallow was confiscated to serve as a war monument. I will gladly accept Dobby's help like I welcomed Winky's. She is a real treasure I must say, she got Kreacher to behave."

I called out, "Winky? Ah, What do you think, Winky? Do you accept Dobby into our family? If you don't want or like him I bet Harry will take him over from me."

Winky looked Dobby up and down and turned to me and asked, "Dobby to be Winky's mate?"

I shook my head, "I will never force a mate onto you, Winky. If you want Dobby to be your mate and he wants to be yours, then you have my blessing."

Winky observed Dobby, he straightened himself and tried to look his best, after a few moments Winky asked me, "Winky is allowed to have babies with Dobby?"

Mum said, "Of course you are, Winky. The decision to have a mate and babies is yours to make. We want you to be happy."

Dad added, "We can go shopping tomorrow for a new big cabinet to raise your family in. Dobby can come along to help you choose."

That was overkill, Dobby fainted. Getting away from Lucius and the thought of shagging Winky was too much. Harry came to his rescue, "Winky, his old Masters treated him very badly, he is not used to this amount of kindness. You have to be patient with him, he is a fine Elf once you get to know him, I spent a few hours talking to him yesterday. If you don't want him then I will make him a Potter Elf."

"Winky be taking Dobby as mate," was her answer, "We be shopping tomorrow for a new cabinet with Master."

I bound Dobby to me, he accepted on unsteady legs, "Dobby be Mistress Grangy's Elf!"

His last word hardly left his mouth when Winky grabbed his hand and popped away with him. Dad chuckled, "She sure is eager to seal the deal."

I groaned, they are going to shag in my bloody wardrobe! I'll kick their butts when they keep me awake tonight.

Harry tried to be funny and asked innocently, "Hermione? Didn't you tell me once that Winky sleeps in your wardrobe?"

Dad frowned, "I better place that cabinet in our spare bedroom, there is no need to rush my princess through the facts of life that fast."

Harry grinned evilly at me, payback time said on his face, "Oh, Hermione knows those facts alright. She tortured us with them. We had nightmares for a week after she showed us how teenage pregnancies can turn out bad… with pictures."

Mum hugged me, "I am proud of you, dear. You remembered my lessons! A week of nightmares is a good trade-off for a ruined life. They will thank you for it later."

Sirius chuckled, "I told Nymphadora to educate their group on the facts of life, she said she learned a thing or two from your daughter too I understand her comments on teenage parents better now."

Xxxxx

My appointment with Griptooth and a team of curse breakers was fruitful. I presented my Carpetbag and explained, "This bag contains several shrunken trunks, I suspect it is one of Voldemort's secret stashes. I claimed it all for me, as it was located in a room for discarded items. I want you to examine the contents, break any curses on items, if there are Goblin Silver forged items they are yours to keep… for a finders fee of course. Any Family Heirloom from a House that is not linked to Voldemort and is still alive can be returned to them if they want it back… anonymously of course."

I came to the good stuff, "All the Money is for my Vault, the books have to be examined for harmful spells and curses, after that to be put in a trunk and delivered to me. The knickknacks I will sort out this summer."

Griptooth asked, "What if the value of decursing is higher than the value of the contents of the trunks, Witch Granger?"

I shrugged, "Then I made a wrong judgment and learned an important lesson."

A Curse breaker asked, "What lesson would that be, Miss?"

I smiled and answered, "To be more patient and learn to do it myself, of course."

The leader of the team commented, "We can only estimate the cost after we open the trunks, Miss Granger. We will charge you the regular fee for hiring us weekly, and add to it if any Curses exceed grade three danger. If these are indeed Voldemort's trunks they will be protected with a Parseltongue password."

I grinned, "I so happen to know a chap that can do just that! If you have a recording device I can let him say some lines like 'Open' or 'Open for the Heir of Slytherin' or any other lines you can come up with. I will reward him myself, of course."

Yeah, give Harry a peck on his cheek and he will do anything for me. That is not manipulating at all! Those are favors for a friend, big difference!

Xxxxx

My studies went fine too, although my new Thesis about the Dyson Sphere rubbed a lot of professors the wrong way, especially the Sci-Fy fanatics. Explaining and proving that creating a Dyson Sphere is impossible or even when someone managed to create one it would self-destruct.

Come on! Imagine a Sphere around our solar system, how much material is needed for that? Even when the wall is only thirty feet thick, the mass will be more than the volume of a hundred suns! The extra gravity from it will disturb the balance in our part of the galaxy. Then inside that sphere, the planetary movements will rupture the sphere apart, the gravity will pull the planets from their orbit too. Then the delusion to capture the energy of the star to use it to produce materials, spaceships for example? The energy cost to create a Dyson Sphere exceeds the energy you can harvest from that star. In other words, a pipe dream for fools.

Once I put it all into figures and calculations it made a nice Thesis. I became hated by the Trekkies overnight. My calculations were enough to pass my first year in Mathematics at Oxford, that naffer from Cambridge was a Trekkie and refused to let it count. Haters say that I am hiding myself and avoid discussions to defend my Thesis. It is not my fault! Dumbledore refused to give me time off for it. Meh, I am the talk of the town, I'll crush the infidels this summer.

Xxxxx

Malfoy Senior got into a freak accident! He was taking a stroll in his garden and a big slab of stone fell out of the sky, right on top of him! The poor man did not survive. Lady Malfoy had an alibi, she was visiting Lord Black at that time. The Daily Prophet speculated that Mother Magic must have found offense about the treatment of his Heir, solely because he was sorted in another house and wondered when one would drop on Mrs. Weasley. It took a week before Molly dared to leave her house.

The life and crimes of one Tom Marvolo Riddle were published in a book along with the proof of where the Normalborns got their Magic from. That was a major blow to the Dark Faction who lost their leader and were infighting for the top spot. This proved their stupidity and their addiction to violence, as it was explained in the Daily Prophet. Lord Greengrass made use of the situation to get the most sensible Lords into his gray faction, he even got a few from the Light side. Daphne's social position skyrocketed, she became Bachelorette NR. 1 in TWW.

Xxxxx

June was hectic, with Exams, tutoring Tonks… being target practice for her Dada course. We could kick her ass when it was three-to-one with Harry and Neville and four-to-one with the girls. At last, I guided her to get her Patronus, a lot of Fan Fiction had theories about it and I tried some of them until Tonks got her Jack Russel Patronus. If I was into women I would enjoy being smothered by her tits, now I am only a bit envious of the size.

The last weekend before the train ride home, Tonks took Harry and Neville aside for a one-on-one session. Harry and Neville won't tell us what Tonks taught them, saying they swore secrecy, they blush a lot when we ask though. I got to learn Legilimence someday.

On the train ride home, Neville, Hannah, and Susan took a compartment of their own and held court for the visiting Puffs. Neville had a good grasp on the leadership of the two lowest years, Cedric Diggory led his year as the undisputed leader.

I ruled the Claws, mostly because I tutored them in the Normal Secondary grade education, even Seventh-years had to acknowledge my superiority in that. I let Harry have the first two years, of course.

We had a full compartment of Harry Girls, me included. The Patil Twins decided that Harry was a better option than some bloke from their home world. Traditions run deep there and are not exactly women-friendly. That they had to share Harry with three others was still better than to be in a harem of twenty.

Daphne has almost tattooed her name on Harry's ass, too bad my name is already on it. I am willing to share, of course. I doubt I will hook up with him, I plan to study in the Normal World after my OWLS, I'll bet he will forget me after a few years. If not then I will gladly shag him with my sister wives… I guess I am Bi, who would have thought that?

Harry is turning into a hunk, I must say, the healers could correct his malnutrition and stunted growth on time, and the year he spent with us girls did wonders for his confidence. It could be Tonks tutoring that did it for him. Meh, I claim responsibility for it.

Xxxxx

Halfway through July, the Wizarding world was shaken by the news that the Tattoo disappeared from the arms of the Death Eaters in Azkaban, along with their Magic. Strangely it happened to upstanding citizens all over Britain, people feared an epidemic until someone pointed the similarities out between the Azkaban Death Eaters and the Civilian victims. It wasn't me! It was Mr. Anonymous.

Tonks was the only one of her year with an O+ for Dada. With good grades in Potions, she was accepted into the Auror Corps as a Cadet.

Yeah, Snape got sacked, after the OWL and NEWT results of Potions came out, there was no way Dumbledore could save Snape's job. He was barely hanging on to his own. The Daily Prophet announced the news on its front page with the reasons and statistics of the last twenty years. The letters of the readers were published the following days, reporting the blatant abuse of Snape and the things he could get away with thanks to Dumbledore. Things that deserved time in Azkaban, Snape was called in for questioning when he slipped away to the Continent, Dumbledore took the heat and got sacked for it.

Should I let Harry get that Deathstick? The Elder Wand? Nah, maybe in a few years.

Winky is pregnant! Their Cabinet stopped rattling against the wall, Dad commented that Dobby had a silly grin on his face for months, now Winky has the silly grin, and Dobby the worried one. I have the grin for having a clean unshagged wardrobe… almost unshagged wardrobe. I bet they did it in my bed too… I better not ask that.

Xxxxx

Nineteen years later.

We gathered at the Hogwarts Express. No, not to put our kids on the train, Neville and Harry made it a tradition to ride the train ever since they became teachers at Hogwarts. Some similarities are there with Canon, though. Draco hooked up with Astoria and had his Scorpio, no matter what Daphne said to her.

Susan and Daphne have the Wizengamot in their grip, they lead the gray faction with great skill and reduce the Light and Dark to some stubborn old geezers. Under their leadership, they reformed the Wizarding World… Britain. Old Laws got reviewed and new ones made, it helps when the public supports them completely… thanks to the help from the Daily Prophet. The Ministry took a policy change, the purebloods had to prove their competence before they could get a job, and more opportunities were open for Halfbloods and Normalborns.

Hannah followed Canon too and is the new owner of the Leaky Cauldron. The place is a lot cleaner now these days. She and Susan have two kids each and Neville is one happy bloke.

Tracey just retired from her Quidditch career and is now studying to be a coach. The Chudley Cannons showed interest in hiring her, I doubt she will accept it though, Ronny is the Equipment manager there.

Parvati got into fashion, she is a star in the Normal World and made the front page of fashion magazines more than once a year. Her love life is guessed on, nobody could get a picture of her husband or children, and is a mystery until this very moment.

Padma took the Normal education for management after she had her NEWTS and became my assistant. She manages our fortune. Yes, if you have more than a million it is called a fortune. We have a lot of millions in the Normal World and the Magical one.

Me you ask? After my OWLS I went to Oxford, by then we confirmed our relationship and I stayed in Britain to visit them on Hogsmeade Weekends, sometimes I sneaked in to visit them in the ROR… OK, I sneak in every Saturday after Dinner. When I graduated in Astrophysics, I realized that there was more money to make in Engineering, so I took those classes too. Yeah, I am a genius, sometimes. My son, Albus Severus… NOT! Nope, I was last to have kids so all the good names were taken, I humored Dad and named my twins Romeo and Juliet.

Dumbledore? He died wondering what went wrong with his plans. Harry never got the Deathstick or to be the MOD.

Snape? It so happened that someone with a grudge put a bounty of Twenty thousand Galleons on his head. Sirius was happy to pay.

Anyway, the tradition of sending Harry and Neville off was born even when the train was hopelessly outdated. Some traditions are hard to break, but I am working on it, my Insta-Net will replace Floo and Portkey travel, and soon the Hogwarts ride is just for making new friends.

Life was great, even when I ended up in a storybook world.

AN: I better end it here, I suck at writing from a girl's point of view, being an old fart, I hardly manage a boy's point of view. They got their happily ever after though, that counts for something.