The Mayhem Critic
Aloha, my fellow readers. It is I, the great James Stryker and I am here to bring you another hilarious chapter of The Mayhem Critic. It's October and you know what that means? IT'S THE START OF HALLOWEEN HAVOC! Which means more frightening tales for Sean the Mayhem Critic to take a look throughout the month of October. Today, Sean kicks off Halloween Havoc V by taking a look at one of his favorite psychological thrillers of all time. A film that devoured the Oscars by winning five Academy Awards. And that movie is The Silence of the Lambs. Is this film still as good as it is or should it be silenced. Well sit back, relax and enjoy this new chapter of The Mayhem Critic. Enjoy.
P.S.: I do not own anything involved in this story. All rights belong to their respective sources. The Silence of the Lambs is owned by Orion Pictures and MGM.
Halloween Havoc V Part I: The Silence of the Lambs
(The new intro to "Halloween Havoc V" plays, featuring pictures and clips from the Mayhem Critic's reviews of Psycho II, Halloween III: Season of the Witch, Hocus Pocus, Scream, The Return of the Living Dead and Child's Play, all set to The X-Files theme. We are also shown various shots that parody the entire X-Files intro, including the Shadow Puppet Laughing Man from Sesame Street on a lighted floor, followed by the words "Your Angel of Death Awaits". We then see Sean's image and name on an FBI badge named "Department of Criticism" and we see the credit "Starring Sean J. Archer". Afterwards, we get still shots of Sean walking out of a room, holding a flashlight in one hand and holding his signature AMT Hardballer .45 ACP in the other, he gets startled as he starts shooting all over the room, including the cameraman. Sean stops shooting and looks down at the dead cameraman before walking away with the flashlight and gun. Before the opening ends, we then see the words "The Suckening Is Out There" on screen)
Martin Zoomer Institute for the Criminally Insane
October 1st, 2022
It was a lukewarm Saturday afternoon and it is the first day of October. Our favorite residential movie critic Sean J. Archer, a.k.a. the Mayhem Critic is sitting in an office. He could be at home playing a video game or watch a bad movie or get a little afternoon sex with Taylor. But instead, he gets called to visit Martin Zoomer Institute for the Criminally Insane to interview with the most deranged madman in the world. Sounds like a fun afternoon for this critic.
"Thank you for allowing me in here, Dr. Chilton." Sean said. "At least I don't have anything better to do like writing smutty Stranger Things fanfiction in my spare time."
"It's the least I can do, Mr. Archer. I can hold on to the crazies that I think can be saved." Dr. Chilton said.
"So, tell me about this man. Why is he here?" Sean asked.
"Oh, you didn't know. He attacked a critic who didn't like his movies and his television show. He bit off part of his face and his ear and then he beat him. Mr. Archer, you're about to deal with a man who's extremely dangerous." Dr. Chilton said.
"Well… yikes." Sean said.
"You look like you carry a lot of insight and you can give him the perfect review that he'll love. He's a big fan of your reviews."
"Well, I fare his tastes." Sean said, chuckling a bit. "Okay, I'll see what I can do."
"Okay, but first, I'm gonna have to take your gun away." Dr. Chilton said. "We don't want you to cause any trouble with the inmates."
Sean removes his gun from out of his holster and hands it over to Dr. Chilton.
"And also your spare gun as well." Dr. Chilton said.
"Damn it." Sean muttered as he hands over his Smith & Wesson Model 29 magnum to Dr. Chilton.
"Alright. Go through that door, the very last cell. Stay to the right. Do not touch the glass. Do not approach the glass. You pass him nothing but soft paper, no pencils or pens…" Dr. Chilton.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I understand the rules." Sean said.
We then cut to the prison, a darker, even grimier area. Sean flinches a bit as the steel gate slams shut behind him. He looks down the long corridor and takes a deep breath as he walks down the hall. The young critic becomes nervous as he passes by signs showing the prisoners' names, followed by cells containing the prisoners themselves. First up, Sean sees a sign reading, "Food Critics. Inside the cell are Jon Taffer and Chef Gordon Ramsay, played by Dave and Brian, who are busy complaining about the food.
"Look at this! It looks like something that my cat threw up!" Dave exclaimed before him and Brian both look up.
Brian begins to sniff the air, then lean towards Sean menacingly.
"I can smell the lamb sauce." Brian said.
"Ewww." Sean said, nervously, as he continues to walk down the hall. He then passes a sign that reads "Movie Theater Guy". The man is wearing a mask and he's swinging shoes that are tied together around.
"Cock-a-doodle-doo! The cow says moo!" Movie Theater Guy yelled out.
Sean smiles nervously at the Movie Theater Guy before waving to him and continues along down the hall.
"Bye." Movie Theater Guy said, waving back to Sean.
Sean finally makes it down to the end of the hall. He sees various signs that read "Danger!", "Dangerous Cannibal! Do Not Stand Close to the Cell!", "Death Wish Right in Front of You!" and "You're Gonna Be Sorry!" on the plexiglass. Sean sees a man standing in his cell, a man with blonde hair, blue eyes and wearing an all-white outfit. The man was revealed to be Dr. Hannibal Lecter.
(A/N: In this review, Dr. Chilton is played by Noah Schnapp and Dr. Hannibal Lecter is played by Vecna himself, Jamie Campbell Bower. So yeah, two special guest appearances in this review. LOL!)
"Good afternoon, Mr. Archer." Hannibal greeted Sean.
"Dr. Lecter, I presume? I see that you've requested me to do a review for you?" Sean asked.
"Yes." Dr. Lecter said. "May, I see your credentials, please?"
Sean pulls his wallet from out of his pocket and flashes his driver's license and State ID, holding it up for his inspection while Dr. Lecter smiles soothingly.
"Closer, Mr. Archer. Clo-ser." Dr. Lecter said.
Sean tries to hide his fear as he moves a bit closer to Dr. Lecter's cell. Dr. Lecter then smiles as he glances at his ID.
"That expires in three years. Sit, please." Dr. Lecter said.
Sean sits down in a folding metal desk chair.
"Now then, what did the Movie Theater Guy say to you?" Dr. Lecter said.
"He said, "Cock-a-doodle-doo. The cow says moo."." Sean replied.
"Ah. I see." Dr. Lecter said as he sniffs the air. "I see that you use Jergens Original Scent moisturizer. A bit feminine for you, so you try to hide the cherry almond scent by spraying on some Axe Phoenix body spray."
"Hey, I ran out of lotion. I had to use Taylor's." Sean said.
"I guess you use your lotion for your "Alone Time" sessions. Tell me, how many naughty fantasies have you had about Taylor with another woman. Maybe you fantasized about having a threesome with Taylor and Millie Bobby Brown or Sadie Sink or maybe an attractive pornstar like Athena Faris or Natalia Starr…" Dr. Lecter said.
"Okay, we're not talkin' about my private life here, Dr. Lecter. I just want to review your movie." Sean said, interrupting Dr. Lecter."
"If you're talking about the one where I feed Ray Liotta his own brains, then I'm gonna have to end this session." Dr. Lecter said.
"No, we'll save that one for another time. Right now, want to talk about the film that's such a masterpiece: The Silence of the Lambs." Sean said.
(The film's title is shown, before we are treated to various clips from the movie while Howard Shore's music score plays in the background)
Sean: (Narrating) Based on the best-selling novel by Thomas Harris, this film was the most-successful, most well-known and most acclaimed film in the series and it was my first introduction to Hannibal Lecter. (The poster for the movie "Manhunter" is shown) Yes, I am aware of the movie Manhunter, but I'm not reviewing this movie. Released in theaters on February 14th, 1991…
(A clip from Ghostbusters II is shown)
Dr. Peter Venkman (Played by Bill Murray): Valentine's Day. Bummer.
Sean: (Narrating) The film was directed by the late Jonathan Demme, who was known for directing some pretty good movies such as Something Wild, Married to the Mob, Last Embrace and Philadelphia and the screenplay was written by Ted Tally. This movie disturbed and shocked people when it was first released in theaters and you know what? We loved it. Critics gave the movie excellent reviews, including Roger Ebert, who loved the film. And then there were some critics who hated the movie, like Gene Siskel, who bashed it on their review of the movie.
"Remind me to learn voodoo and raise Gene Siskel back from the dead and punch his head off." Sean said.
"A movie critic hated Red Dragon, so I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Budweiser." Dr. Lecter said.
"Wait, I thought it was Chianti." Sean said.
"I had a hankering for a beer. Don't judge me." Dr. Lecter said.
Sean: (Narrating) This movie is also the winner of five Academy Awards back in 1992. It won Best Picture for Edward Saxon, Kenneth Utt and Ron Bozman, Best Actor for Anthony Hopkins, Best Actress for Jodie Foster, Best Director for Jonathan Demme and Best Screenplay for Ted Tally. In 2011, the film was selected by the Library of Congress for preservation in the National Film Registry.
"It's going to be impossible for me to make fun of a movie that I love. Well, there's a lot of film to cover so let's not waste any time." Sean said.
"You'll come up with a way, Sean. You'll find a way." Dr. Lecter said.
"This is The Silence of the Lambs." Sean said.
(The opening credits are shown, featuring the main character, Clarice Starling, running through a wooded area)
Sean: (Narrating) The credits play as we see a young FBI Academy student Clarice Starling, played by a very sweaty Jodie Foster, who's busy running through a training course. Originally, the film was supposed to open with Clarice and a male FBI agent in the middle of a drug bust and they burst into a room arrest some people and it turns out to be a training exercise. But this has been done so many times, Jodie Foster was able to convince Jonathan Demme to change the scene.
"Fun fact: Foster came up with the idea of running through the assault course. I guess she's getting ready for her role in Panic Room." Sean said as a poster for the movie Panic Room appears next to him.
(We see Clarice running through the training course)
Sean: (Narrating) As much as I love this opening and Howard Shore's amazing music score, it kinda feels like Clarice is training for American Gladiators.
(The American Gladiators theme by Bill Conti plays in the background, replacing Howard Shore's music score while the scene plays out)
Sean: (Narrating) Starling is told that Crawford wants to see her in his office at the Department of Behavioral Science. As she enters his office, she sees the cold case that he's working on involving a serial killer named Buffalo Bill with all the pictures of the women that he skinned to go with the case file. Jack Crawford, played by Scott Glenn, greets her and tells her how well she's doing in the academy and he has a very interesting errand and he cuts straight to the chase.
Jack Crawford (Played by Scott Glenn): We're interviewing all the serial killers now in custody for a psycho-behavioral profile. It could be a real help in unsolved cases. Most of them have been happy to talk to us. Do you spook easily, Starling?
Clarice Starling (Played by Jodie Foster): Not yet, sir.
"Yeah, try showing her The Beaver. She'll definitely spook easily." Sean said, referencing one of Jodie Foster's movies.
Sean: (Narrating) Don't you just love the shot of the characters talking to the camera? Yeah, that's one of Jonathan Demme's trademarks. Just look directly into the camera and start talking to it to make it act like you're talking to one of the characters. He uses that shot in every one of his movies.
"Well, you want to know why he uses this technique? This was done so the audience would experience Clarice's point-of-view, but not theirs. He wanted to encourage the audience to really identify with her. Like what I'm doing." Dr. Lecter said as we see him talking to the camera.
"You're talking to the camera, aren't you?" Sean asked.
"You catch on fast, Mr. Archer." Dr. Lecter said.
"Again, you're still doing it. Stop it." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Crawford wants Clarice to head down to the asylum to talk to the psychiatrist Hannibal Lecter, a.k.a. Hannibal the Cannibal. If he doesn't cooperate, then she'll have to report Crawford on what he's doing, all that good stuff.
Jack Crawford: Be very careful with Hannibal Lecter. Dr. Chilton at the asylum will go over all the physical procedures used with him. Do not deviate from them for any reason whatsoever, and you're to tell him nothing personal, Starling. Believe me, you don't want Hannibal Lecter inside your head.
"Or have him cut your head open and cook a part of your brain and feed it to you." Sean said, referencing Hannibal.
"Oh, Sean. Really? Did you have to mention that dreaded scene?" Dr. Lecter asked.
"I had to. It was just so damn silly. I couldn't help but laugh." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Clarice heads down to the asylum, where she meets with Dr. Frederick Chilton, played by Anthony Heald, telling her about Dr. Lecter and refers to him as a pure psychopath and that he's their prized asset. And here's a thing about Dr. Chilton, the guy is a terrible psychologist and he's such a sleaze. I just feel dirty just watching him trying to hit on Clarice because she's an attractive woman.
Dr. Frederick Chilton (Played by Anthony Heald): You know, we get a lot of detectives here, but I must say, I can't ever remember one as attractive. (Smiles at Clarice) Will you be in Baltimore overnight? Because this can be quite a fun town if you have the right guide.
"Ewww!" Sean shuddered a bit. "God, I feel like taking a shower after this scene." Sean said.
"What can I say? I'm a hit with the ladies." Dr. Chilton said.
"I don't know who's much more of a slimebag: either him, Donald Trump, Kirk Cameron or Nick Adams. I have a few people to list including Scott Baio and Kevin Sorbo, but you get my drift. They can all suck a big, fat one." Sean said.
Dr. Frederick Chilton: Crawford's very clever, isn't he? Using you.
Clarice Starling: What do you mean, sir?
Dr. Frederick Chilton: A pretty young woman to turn him on. I don't believe Lecter's even seen a woman in eight years. And, oh, are you ever his taste. So to speak.
Clarice Starling: I graduated from UVA, Doctor. It is not a charm school.
Dr. Frederick Chilton: Good. Then you should be able to remember the rules. Do not touch the glass. Do not approach the glass…
"Please, can we not go over the rules one more time?" Sean asked.
Sean: (Narrating) After going over the rules with Clarice, Dr. Chilton shows her a picture of what Dr. Lecter did to the nurse and it's a good thing that they don't show us the picture, because that wouldn't be a pretty sight. I have to say that Clarice is such a trooper. She didn't even throw up. She meets Nurse Barney, played by Frankie Faison, and he's such a loveable character. He lets her in and we get an eerie scene where she walks down the hall and we see some of the crazies.
(Clarice passes through the cells and he looks over at the inmates. She continues down the hall as she comes across a cell with a crazed inmate named "Miggs")
Miggs (Played by Stuart Rudin): I can smell your *beep*.
"Well, that guy seems like a lovely gentleman, doesn't he?" Sean asked.
Sean: (Narrating) We then get the reveal of the Dr. Hannibal Lecter, played brilliantly by Anthony Hopkins. And I absolutely love this scene. You get a feeling of eerieness as Clarice walks down the hall and noticing some of the crazies. When she comes across Dr. Lecter's cell, you see him just standing there and looks directly at the camera and at Starling, which indicates that he knows more about her. He's so calm and well-spoken. He's nothing more like the inmates, making him more creepy as hell and wondering why he's in there and making it more nerving and creepy. And the build-up to seeing Lecter, it's so unsettling and eerie. The lighting is good, the camerawork is well done and Howard Shore's music is still amazing. Christ! I friggin' love this movie! It's so damn good.
Clarice Starling: Dr. Lecter, my name is Clarice Starling. May I speak with you?
Dr. Hannibal Lecter (Played by Anthony Hopkins): You're one of Jack Crawford's, aren't you?
Clarice Starling: I am, yes, sir.
Dr. Hannibal Lecter: May I see your credentials?
Clarice Starling: Certainly.
Sean: (Narrating) Clarice shows her badge to Lecter by using intimidation tactics, And when he asks her to bring her credentials closer to him, he deduces that she's not FBI because of the expiration date on the credentials. I absolutely love Anthony Hopkins as Dr. Lecter, he brings a creepy feel to the movie. I get a little creeped out when he does this after Clarice tell him what Miggs said to her.
(Dr. Lecter takes a sniff at the air)
Dr. Hannibal Lecter: You use Evyan skin cream. And sometimes you wear L'Air du Temps, but not today.
"Eeee! Yeah, I would be creeped out by the look on his face." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) So they talk about this serial killer known as "Buffalo Bill" and how he skins his victims and how Lecter eats his trophies. And they get started with the questionnaire and Lecter decides to screw with Clarice and make fun of her southern accent, which Hopkins improvised. This pisses off Clarice and she gets a little smarmy with him and then we get this iconic line from the movie.
Dr. Hannibal Lecter: A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans, and a nice Chianti. (Makes a hissing noise)
"Okay, that is like my favorite line in the movie. Thomas Harris is a wine connoisseur, knows that liver doesn't go with Chianti at all. In the book, the line is: "I ate his liver with some fava beans and a big Amarone." But because of the filmmakers didn't think the audience would know what Amarone is, they changed it to something more recognizable." Sean said.
"What the hell is Amarone? I've never heard of it." Dr. Lecter said.
"I've never heard of it either." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) There's a deeper meaning to what Dr. Lecter is saying to Clarice. He's saying: "Don't fuck with me, bitch. I'm just as dangerous as ever." He tells her that story first just to freak her out. After threatening Starling, Lecter tells her to leave and turns his back on her. But, she doesn't leave unmolested when Miggs gives her a parting gift.
Miggs: Look at the blood!
(Miggs flings his semen at Clarice)
Miggs: Gotcha!
Friendly Psychopath (Played by Don Brockett): Miggs! You stupid fuck!
"Uh, Miggs. I think you're getting her confused with Kagney Linn Karter from the Official Silence of the Lambs Porn Parody." Sean said.
(A clip from the Official Silence of the Lambs Parody is shown)
Ardelia Mapp (Played by Isis Taylor): And you have some sperm in your hair.
Clarice Starling (Played by Kagney Linn Karter): I left it there… for you.
"For the love of God. Please tell me that this doesn't exist." Dr. Lecter said.
"Oh, yeah. It exists. Man, that girl-on-girl scene between Kagney Linn Karter and Isis Taylor was the hottest scene ever. You don't know how many times that I…" Sean said.
"Can we move on to the review, please?" Dr. Lecter asked.
"You're right. Sorry." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Dr. Lecter calls Starling back, being uncharacteristically helpful to her, tells her to look deep within herself and seek out Miss Mofet, an old patient of his. As Clarice leaves, she walks back to her car while trying to hold back some tears as we get a flashback to her as a child and her father, don't worry, that'll be important later on in the movie as we continue. Then, we cut back to reality as we see Clarice showing a more human side as we see her crying. Back at the academy, Clarice is reading up on some old articles featuring Dr. Lecter until Crawford call her to tell her that Miggs is dead.
Clarice Starling: Dead? How?
Jack Crawford: The orderly heard Lecter whispering to him all afternoon, and Miggs crying. They found him at bed check. He'd swallow his own tongue.
(Clarice stays silent, looking shocked from the news)
Jack Crawford: Starling?
"Well, Jesus. That is some sick, twisted display of affection just to please Starling." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Clarice tells Crawford what she was thinking about what Lecter said to her, the "yourself" reference, which is a little too hokey for Lecter. So, she heads down to the "Your Self Storage" facility, which is right outside of Baltimore… all by herself… in the dead of night.
"Without any backup? Without anyone assisting her? Don't worry. She's a trainee. We'll cut her some slack." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Clarice manages to pry the door open with some force and makes it inside.
(Clarice crawls through the narrow opening, she ends up cutting her thigh on the metal door)
Sean: (V/O as Clarice) Oh, great. That was my new pair of trousers.
Sean: (Narrating) Clarice searches through the storage room and finds an old car, and inside that old car is a headless mannequin and another surprise.
(Clarice ends up finding a head in a jar)
"Boy, this episode of Storage Wars turned out to be pretty dark." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Clarice goes back to Lecter's cell this very night to ask him what's the deal with the head and that she figured out his little anagram. Hester Mofet, "Miss The Rest Of Me". Turns out that the guy's head in the jar happens to be a former patient of Lecter's and he assures her that he didn't kill her and he wants to know what's going on between her and Crawford.
Dr. Hannibal Lecter: Jack Crawford is helping your career, isn't he? Apparently, he likes you, and you like him, too.
Clarice Starling: I never thought about it.
Dr. Hannibal Lecter: Do you think Jack Crawford wants you sexually? True, he is much older, but do you think he visualizes scenarios, exchanges, fucking you.
Clarice Starling: That doesn't interest me, Doctor. Frankly, it's–it's the sort of thing that Miggs would say.
"Besides, I'm not into men. I like women." Sean said, imitating Clarice.
(The lights cut back on in Lecter's cell)
Dr. Hannibal Lecter: Thank you, Barney.
(Clarice looks around Lecter's cell and sees that his drawings are gone)
Clarice Starling: What happened to your drawings?
Dr. Hannibal Lecter: Punishment, you see, for Miggs. Just like that gospel program. When you leave, they'll turn the volume way up. Dr. Chilton does enjoy his petty torments.
"Boy, Dr. Chilton can be a real asshole." Sean said.
"I heard that, Archer!" Dr. Chilton exclaimed.
Sean: (Narrating) Dr. Lecter tells Clarice that he's been in this cell for eight years and what he want is a view. A window where he can see a tree or even water and that he wants to be in a federal institution to be far away from Dr. Chilton and his douchebaggery. Also, he offers Starling a psychological profile on Buffalo Bill and that he'll help her catch him. We then cut to Memphis, Tennessee, where we see Catherine Martin, played by Brooke Smith, just driving down the road and heading home. We then see a man wearing night vision goggles hiding in the bushes and watches her. While Catherine is walking to her home, she notices a man having some trouble getting a chair into his truck since he injured his arm. She helps the man out and this happens.
Man (Played by Ted Levine): Say, are you about a size 14?
Catherine Martin (Played by Brooke Smith): Sorry.
(The man clubs Catherine over her head and knocks her out before pulling the door shut. He peels back the collar of her blouse, reading the size tag)
Man: Good.
(The man cuts her blouse with a pair of bandage scissors, peeling apart the two halves and strokes her bare skin delicately)
Man: Oh, good. Good.
"Turns out that this is the work of Buffalo Bill, played by Ted Levine. And this is a very similar way to how infamous serial killer Ted Bundy operates. He pretends to be injured and then preys on the women who are kind enough to help him and he knocks them out and he does some fucked up things to them. Also, the entire story of Silence of the Lambs is based on the fact that while he was incarcerated, Bundy helped Robert Keppel and Dave Reichert with his expertise and tracking down the Green River Killer Gary Ridgway." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Back at Quantico, Clarice is pulled away from some hand-to-hand training to go to West Virginia with Crawford, and another woman's body is found, which is another victim of Buffalo Bill's.
Jack Crawford: He keeps them alive for three days. We don't know why. There's no evidence of rape or physical abuse prior to death. All the mutilation you see there is postmortem.
"Yeah, let's not show the crime photos on this review because they're not pretty. If you do watch this movie and you see grisly images like that, I suggest that you watch it without eating. Trust me, I know." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Clarice correctly deduces everything about Buffalo Bill, which impresses Crawford and then she asks about Lecter's deal and Crawford is considering it.
Clarice Starling: That's why you sent me in there, isn't it? To get his help on Buffalo Bill, sir?
(Crawford stays silent and looks at Clarice)
Clarice Starling: Well, if that was the case, then I just… I just wish I was in on it. That's all.
Jack Crawford: If I had sent you in there with an actual agenda, Lecter would have known it instantly. He would have toyed with you, then turned to stone.
"Besides, he'll try to make a pass at you and ask if you had any fantasies about me." Sean said, imitating Crawford. "Boy, is deception a big theme in this movie? You have people deceiving each other. You have Crawford deceiving Clarice who's deceiving Lecter and as for Buffalo Bill? Well, he's deceiving himself and then you have Lecter deceiving everyone and he's that damn good at it.."
Sean: (Narrating) So Starling and Crawford head down to the funeral home, where the latest body is being kept for an autopsy and the local cops aren't too keen on the FBI taking over the investigation. Crawford suggests to speak in private with the Sheriff, just to spare Clarice the grisly details.
(Crawford leaves the room with Sheriff Perkins along with Agent Terry to speak in private with him, leaving Clarice alone with a bunch of male officers. Clarice looks a bit uncomfortable when all the men stare at her)
"Yes, that's a woman. Why do you idiots act like you haven't seen one before?" Sean asked.
Sean: (V/O as Officer #1) Oh, my God! It's a lady! What do we do?!
Brian: (V/O as Officer #2) Why are you asking me, Frank? I've never seen a woman before in my life! She's got them cooties!
"And this is the big part of the film, which involves sexuality and feminine sexuality." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) This film hints that being a woman in the FBI was rough. You have Clarice facing people like that freak Dr. Chilton and those cops who see her as a woman first. And let's not forget Dr. Lecter too. He sees her as a woman first, in his own special way. Demme shows us how isolated Clarice is in the male-dominated world of the FBI, which makes us identify with her. You'll see shots of Starling jogging with her friend and you have the male joggers turning heads as she passes.
(The scene where Clarice and Ardelia pass a group of male jogger, their heads turn when they see her. Then, a sound clip from V.I. Warshawski plays in the background)
Jogger: Babe alert!
"Has every woman ever looked at you like that? Like how the men are looking at Clarice? Do you feel isolated in this woman-dominated world?" Dr. Lecter asked.
"No, I do not feel isolated because I respect women. Except for the Karens and Lauren Boebert." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) While waiting for Crawford, Clarice has a flashback of her father's funeral and the reason why she joined the FBI as her father was killed in the line of duty. Clarice gets ready to start the autopsy and tells the other cops to clear out the room as they continue to gawk at her like they're not taking her seriously. Once they leave, they reveal the body and put on some Vapo-Rub to overpower the scent of the body.
(Lamar reveals the body)
Dr. Akin (Played by Kenneth Utt): Oh, Jesus.
(Clarice gets ink on the roller and keeps it together while Crawford notices)
Jack Crawford: Okay, Starling.
(Clarice turns around and sees the body)
Clarice Starling: Bill.
(Lamar looks at Clarice)
"No, that's Tracy Walter, a.k.a. Bob the Goon from Batman. He's still our number one guy." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Clarice, being the strong trooper that she is, holds it through the autopsy and she notices something inside the victim's mouth while looking at the photograph.
Lamar (Played by Tracey Walter): When a body comes out of the water, lots of times there's like, leaves and things in the mouth.
(Agent Terry grabs a pair of tweezers while Lamar opens the victim's mouth. Agent Terry pulls out a cocoon from out of the victim's mouth)
Jack Crawford: What is that, some kind of seedpod?
Lamar: No, sir. That's a bug cocoon. There's no way that could get way down in there like that.
"Okay, what is it with serial killers in movies? They're not just complete nutjobs who like to kill people for some reason. You have some of the artisan killers with each victim having some kind of symbolic significance. Uh… serial killers don't operate like that. Can you imagine Jeffrey Dahmer doing something like that? Oh, wait. He did!" Sean exclaimed.
Sean: (Narrating) Later, Clarice goes to see two bug experts, Roden played by Dan Butler and Pilcher played by Paul Lazar, after catching them playing some bug chess and to see if they can examine the bug cocoon from the victim.
Pilcher (Played by Paul Lazar): It's Buffalo Bill, isn't it?
Clarice Starling: I'm afraid I can't tell you any more about that.
Pilcher: We heard about it on the radio.
Roden (Played by Dan Butler): You mean this is like a clue from a real murder case? Cool!
Pilcher: Just ignore him. He's not a Ph.D.
"Okay, I admit this is the funniest line in the movie. It definitely gave me a chuckle." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) And speaking of having the camera in your face, here's more of Jonathan Demme's camera… (Sees that Pilcher is looking at the camera) ….yikes!
"What the hell?" Sean asked, looking terrified.
Pilcher: What do you do when you're not detecting, Agent Starling?
Clarice Starling: I try to be a student, Dr. Pilcher.
Pilcher: You ever go out for cheeseburgers and beer?
(Clarice looks at Pilcher)
Pilcher: The amusing house wine?
Clarice Starling: Are you hitting on me, Doctor?
Pilcher: (Smiles) Yes.
"Okay, I think I found the creepiest person in this movie. The dude with the googly eyes. Can somebody take the camera off his face? I feel like that he's going to steal my soul." Sean said.
(We cut to Pilcher smiling at the camera and back to Sean, who has a terrified look on his face while demonic music plays in the background. We then see Plicher's eyes glowing red)
Brian: (V/O as Pilcher's demonic voice) I will steal your soul!
"Get that damn camera off his face!" Sean yelled out.
Sean: (Narrating) They examine the cocoon, which is revealed to by Acherontia Styx, a.k.a. The Death's Head Moth. You know, the moth from the poster? And here's the thing, they only live in Asia. And then we come to the source of where the moth came from as we cut to Buffalo Bill's nutty cave and we see him working on something and we also see that he's holding her captive. Back at Quantico, Clarice and Ardelia Mapp, played by Kasi Lemmons, see report on the news regarding Catherine and it seems Buffalo Bill have screwed up. Turns out that Catherine is the daughter of United States Senator Ruth Martin, played by Diane Baker respectively, and she makes a plea to Buffalo Bill to return her daughter.
Ruth Martin (Played by Diane Baker): (On TV) I'm speaking now to the person who is holding my daughter. Catherine is very gentle and kind. Talk to her, and you'll see. You have the power. You are in charge. I know you can feel love and compassion. You have a wonderful chance to show the whole world that you can be merciful as well as strong, that you're big enough to treat Catherine better than the world has treated you. You have that power.
"Lady, this is Buffalo Bill you're talking about. This guy won't feel any love and compassion." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Clarice goes to the asylum to speak with Dr. Lecter once more, but Dr. Chilton is getting very aggravated with her conducting an interview and refusing to share information with him because Lecter is his "prized" patient. Starling offers Lecter a deal promising a prison transfer if he provides information that helps profile Buffalo Bill and rescue Catherine.
Clarice Starling: Best of all, though. One week of the year, you get to leave the hospital and go here. (Shows Lecter a map of Plum Island) Plum Island. Every day of that week you may walk on the beach, you may swim in the ocean for up to one hour, under SWAT team surveillance, of course. And there you have it.
"Ah, wouldn't I just love to have a walk on the beach and to feel the sand between my toes. And a wave of water crashes upon me as I enjoy the scent of salt water. Ah, that's the kind of freedom that I want." Dr. Lecter said.
"Either that or you were busy eyeing Clarice like a piece of meat." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Lecter seems to be unimpressed with the deal, he begins a little game of "quid pro quo" with Starling, offering some info on Buffalo Bill in exchange for the traumatic events in Clarice's childhood, which is the death of her father, who was a town marshall and that he was killed by two burglars and she moved to a ranch with relatives. Again, that's another rule that she's breaking. Crawford just told her this…
(Cut back to a few scenes earlier)
Jack Crawford: …and you're to tell him nothing personal, Starling.
"Yeah, that! Because it's going to come back and bite you on your ass." Sean said.
"Quid pro quo, Sean. Tell me about your traumatic childhood." Dr. Lecter said.
"Ah, ah! I ain't tellin' you anything personal about me, Doc. I don't want you gettin' in my head." Sean said.
"Quid pro quo, Sean. I tell you things, you tell me things." Dr. Lecter said.
"Forget it, let's move on." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Lecter then gives Starling some info on Buffalo Bill and explains that he's under the delusion of being a transsexual and has been turned down by all three major sex reassignemt clinice. But what they don't know is that Jerky McGoo Chilton is listening in on their little conversation and tapes their conversation. And speaking of Buffalo Bill…
Buffalo Bill: It rubs the lotion on it's skin. It does this whenever it's told.
Catherine Martin: Mister, my family will pay cash. Whatever ransom you're asking for, they'll pay it.
Buffalo Bill: It rubs the lotion on it's skin, or else it gets the hose again.
(Buffalo Bill's dog, Precious, barks)
"Yeah, he's getting pretty nutty. And again, another memorable line in the movie." Sean said. "And what the hell does that line even mean?"
Buffalo Bill: Now it places the lotion in the basket.
Catherine Martin: Please! Please! I want to go home. (Cries) I want to go home, please! Please, I want to…
Buffalo Bill: It places the lotion in the basket.
"Dude, are you saying some cryptic code? Speak friggin' english!" Sean exclaimed.
Buffalo Bill: PUT THE FUCKING LOTION IN THE BASKET!
"Okay, that lip-quivering reaction was genuine and unscripted." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) You could tell that Ted Levine was on the verge of bursting to tears. He got along with actress Brooke Smith off-camera and he felt bad for treating her so horribly and watching her suffer, even if none of it was real. Plus, that line "I wanna see my mommy." was improvised by Smith and it totally broke him. So, the filmmakers included it because they thought it would give depth to Buffalo Bill. Anyway, as Catherine places the lotion in the basket, the light shines on the wall, revealing the bloody claw marks and the missing fingernails from some of Buffalo Bill's victims, this freaks Catherine out and Buffalo Bill mimics her screams, showing us how fucked up he is. We cut back to Hannibal as we see Dr. Chilton being a complete dick and tells him that Senator Ruth Martin has never heard of any deal with him and that the FBI scammed him.
Dr. Frederick Chilton: There never was a deal with Senator Martin, but there is now. I designed it. Of course, I worked in a few conditions for my own benefit as well. Identify Buffalo Bill by name and if the girl is found in time, Senator Martin will have you transferred to Brushy Mountain State Prison in Tennessee. Answer me, Hannibal. You answer me now, or by God, you'll never leave this cell.
"Oh, we'll see about that, Doc. Because you're about to become a complete and total idiot for leaving your pen out, jackass." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) FBI Director Hayden Burke, played by the legendary director Roger Corman, calls Crawford to tell him that Lecter is being transferred to Memphis and that Senator Martin is pissed about the phony offer Clarice gave Lecter, so she has Paul Krendler, played by Ron Vawter, take over in Memphis. We then cut to Memphis International Airport, where we see Hannibal arriving in his iconic muzzle and he is introduced to Lieutenant Boyle, played by the late Charles Napier, you know CIA officer Marshall Murdock from Rambo: First Blood Part II, the voice of Duke Phillips in The Critic, the voice of Agent Zed in Men in Black: The Series. Also, while trying to pass Lecter off to the authorities, Dr. Chilton seems to be forgetting something.
(Dr. Chilton reaches inside his coat to look for his pen)
Dr. Frederick Chilton: Where is it?
Lt. Boyle (Played by Charles Napier): Her, sir. Use mine.
(Boyle hands Chilton a pen as the camera zooms in on Lecter's face)
Sean: (V/O as Lecter) He'll never know. He'll never know.
"How the hell was it possible for Lecter to steal Chilton's pen while he was all tied up? Hell, I'm curious to know how he did that? That dude is a master." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Lecter speaks with Senator Martin and gives her the information on Buffalo Bill, telling her that his real name is Louis Friend and that he met him through a patient of his and when asked about Buffalo Bill's physical description and address, Lecter proceeds to ask the Senator this question.
Dr. Hannibal Lecter: Tell me, Senator. Did you nurse Catherine yourself?
Senator Ruth Martin: What?
Dr. Hannibal Lecter: Did you breast-feed her?
Paul Krendler (Played by Ron Vawter): Now, wait a minute!
Senator Ruth Martin: Yes, I did.
Dr. Hannibal Lecter: Toughened your nipples, didn't it?
Paul Krendler: You son of a bitch!
Dr. Hannibal Lecter: Amputate a man's leg and he can still feel it tickling. Tell me, Mom, when your little girl is on the slab, where will it tickle you?
Senator Ruth Martin: Take this thing back to Baltimore.
"Damn, that's a horrible thing to say. He just did that to piss everyone off and to make Chilton look like a complete jackass. Lecter already got what he wanted, the perfect opportunity. But you gotta admit, that dude had the brass balls to say that to a senator." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Lecter manages give out a physical description on Buffalo Bill and he we get my favorite bit from the scene.
Dr. Hannibal Lecter: Oh, and, Senator, just one more thing. Love your suit.
"That line manages to give me a chuckle." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Clarice arrives in Memphis and sneaks in the courthouse to avoid being spotted by Chilton while he's being interviewed by the reporters.
Officer Murray (Played by Brent Hinkley): Is it true what they're saying?
Clarice Starling: Huh?
Officer Murray: He's some kind of vampire?
"To quote Stranger Things…" Sean said.
(A clip from Stranger Things is shown)
Mike Wheeler (Played by Finn Wolfhard): What?!
"Was he talking about Hannibal or Buffalo Bill?" Sean asked.
"Maybe he's talking about my cousin, Ludwig Lecter." Dr. Lecter said.
Sean: (Narrating) Clarice goes to visit Lecter to give him his drawing and to tell him that she figured out that the name "Louis Friend" is an anagram for "iron sulfide" a.k.a. Fool's Gold. But the authorities are distracted by Lecter's games. She asks Lecter to continue their conversation in Baltimore about Buffalo Bill and that the killing is incidental.
Dr. Hannibal Lecter: He covets. That is his nature. And how do we begin to covet, Clarice? Do we seek out things to covet? Make an effort to answer now.
Clarice Starling: No. We just…
Dr. Hannibal Lecter: No. We begin by coveting what we see every day. Don't you feel eyes moving over your body, Clarice? And don't your eyes seek out the things you want?
"I'm coveting you right now, Clarice. My eyes are all over you." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Lecter wants to know more about Clarice's childhood, but Clarice isn't in the mood for any games since there's no time, but he insists by asking her about the farm she lived on after her father's death. So she tells him her story.
Clarice Starling: I heard a strange noise.
Dr. Hannibal Lecter: What was it?
Clarice Starling: It was screaming. Some kind of screaming, like a child's voice.
Dr. Hannibal Lecter: What did you do?
Clarice Starling: I went downstairs, outside. I crept up into the barn. I was so scared to look inside, but I had to.
Dr. Hannibal Lecter: And what did you see, Clarice? What did you see?
Clarice Starling: Lambs. They were screaming.
Dr. Hannibal Lecter: They were slaughtering the spring lambs?
Clarice Starling: And they were screaming.
"The farmer was playing Paula Cole's "Where Have All the Cowboys Gone?" That's what was making the lambs scream." Sean said, imitating Clarice.
Sean: (Narrating) After telling Lecter her traumatic story from her childhood, Clarice demands him to give her a name. But Dr. Dumbass is onto her and he cuts their conversation short, but she's not going to leave without the case file.
(Clarice runs back over to grab the case file from Dr. Lecter)
Dr. Hannibal Lecter: Goodbye, Clarice.
(His finger grazes Clarice's finger)
Sean: (V/O as Dr. Lecter) Ah, the touch of a woman. How I've waited to feel that for so long.
Sean: (Narrating) While Clarice heads back to Baltimore, we see that Hannibal is in his cell working on something while Lt. Boyle and Sgt. Pembry, played by Alex Coleman, arrive with the good doctor's meal.
Sgt. Pembry (Played by Alex Coleman): The son of a bitch demanded a second dinner. Lamb chops, extra rare.
Lt. Boyle: Wonder what he wants for breakfast. Some damn thing from the zoo?
"Wait a minute, who eats lamb chops, extra rare? IT'S RAW!" Brian yelled out.
"Yeah, that is the type of meal that Joan Crawford feeds her adoptive daughter." Sean said.
"Hold on just one second." Movie Theater Guy said as he removes his mask, revealing himself to be actor Jerry Trainor. "You eat lamb chops extra rare?"
"Well, what can I say? I like my meat bloody." Dr. Lecter said.
"Okay, that is just so fucked up." Movie Theater Guy said.
Sean: (Narrating) We see that Dr. Lecter is preparing his escape by using Chilton's pen to pick the handcuffs while classical music plays in the background and once he picks the lock, this gives Hannibal the perfect opportunity.
(Lecter handcuffs Boyle to the bars of the cell)
Lt. Boyle: Jimmy, watch it! He's got me!
Sgt. Pembry: Jesus, Bill!
(Lecter hits Pembry with the cell door and grabs him by the face and starts biting him in the face)
"Holy shit!" Sean yelled out as he recoils back in surprise.
Lt. Boyle: Jesus Christ!
(Lecter slams Pembry's head against the metal bars and uses the mace to spray him in the eyes. Lecter goes over to Boyle and grabs the nightstick. Boyle screams as Lecter beats him to death with the nightstick. We get the bloody results in the end and we see Lecter enjoying his music)
"Jesus Christ on a pogo stick. Now, that was some terrifying shit. I did have to admit, that scene terrified me as a kid and it still does till this day forward. But what happens after is pure perfection that I have to talk about it scene-by-scene." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) We see that the cops who are standing in the lobby noticing something going on with the elevator as they see it go up to the fifth floor. Then, you hear a gunshot and the cops see that the elevator is going down and that it stopped on the third floor, so they head up there to check it out and I just love how tense this scene it and again Howard Shore's music is amazing. They call out for Pembry and Boyle before we cut to the shot of the door and the room where Lecter is being held. The room is dimly lit and you see a silhouette of something that looks like an angel. Hell, more like the angel of death. They kick the door open and they enter and what do they find?
Sgt. Tate (Played by Danny Darst): Oh, God!
(We then cut to Boyle's mutilated corpse on display like an angel hanging on the bars of Lecter's cell)
"Okay, that is the most gruesome imagery that I have ever seen in my life." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) We see that Pembry is still alive after having his face mutilated. Then, a S.W.A.T. team led by Chris Isaak…
"Whoa. Chris Isaak? The guy who sang "Wicked Game", "Blue Hotel" and "Baby Did A Bad Bad Thing"? That Chris Isaak?" Dr. Lecter asked.
"Yep. He was also 'The Clown' in another Jonathan Demme movie, Married to the Mob. The one where Dr. Brenner plays an FBI agent." Sean said as a picture of the poster for Married to the Mob and a picture of Matthew Modine's character from the movie is shown as well.
Sean: (Narrating) While the cops are in the elevator with Pembry to take him to the ambulance, blood starts dripping onto Pembry as they look up to the ceiling to see that blood is seeping through the ceiling, indicating that Lecter is up on the roof of the elevator. The S.W.A.T. guys go to check it out and they find him with a gun by him and he's not moving. So, they fire a warning shot at his leg. But there's no movement. They open the hatch as Lecter's body falls out. But wait, we cut to the ambulance as we see Pembry get up, but then he removes his face and it's revealed to be Lecter! HOLY FUCKING SHIT! That was perfectly clever. He cut off Pembry's face and wore it as a mask and he switched outfits with him to cover his tracks.
"Did I mention that I love this freakin' movie?" Sean asked.
Sean: (Narrating) Ardelia goes to warn Clarice that Lecter has escaped and that he could be anywhere. But Clarice tells her that he won't come after her because he would consider that rude. So Clarice and Ardelia go over the case files of Buffalo Bill and after some more camera in your face shots, Clarice and Ardelia learn that Buffalo Bill knew the victim that he killed and skinned. So, she heads down to Belvedere, Ohio, to speak with Fredrica's father and to look around the house. She comes across some hidden photos of Fredrica after finding them in a music box and makes a discovery about Buffalo Bill and tells Crawford that he's making himself a woman's suit out of women's skin. So her, Crawford and the FBI go after Buffalo Bill and they arrest him. The end.
"Oh, Sean. My dear Sean. Aren't you forgetting something?" Dr. Lecter asked the young critic.
"Nope, no. I haven't forgotten anything." Sean said.
"Quid pro quo, Sean. I want to know what traumatized you from that movie?" Dr. Lecter asked.
"Dr. Lecter, I can't!" Sean exclaimed.
"Tell me, Sean. Tell me about the horses. Were they flying over you?" Dr. Lecter asked, referencing the Q Lazzarus song Goodbye Horses.
"Oh, God." Sean said.
"What happened?" Dr. Lecter asked.
"I was about 11 or 12 when I saw that scene. It involved Buffalo Bill." Sean said.
"What was he saying in the scene?" Dr. Lecter asked.
"I… I can't remember." Sean said.
"Remember, Sean. You must remember what Buffalo Bill said!" Dr. Lecter exclaimed.
"He said, "Would you fuck me? I'd fuck me. I'd fuck me hard. I'd fuck me so hard." That's what he said." Sean said.
"What was he wearing?" Dr. Lecter asked.
"He was wearing a suit… a suit that he made out of women's skin. And he was filming himself dancing to Goodbye Horses. He took a step back and… and… I'm sorry. I can't! It's too disturbing." Sean said as he starts crying.
While he is crying, Dave, Brian, Movie Theater Guy and Dr. Chilton all hug Sean, comforting him after he reveals the scene that disturbed him from his childhood. Sean stops crying and realizes something weird.
"Wait, wait, wait, wait! SHUT UP!" Sean yelled out. "Why aren't the inmates in their cells?"
"Alright, now. Back in your cells. Now!" Dr. Chilton exclaimed.
"Fine." Dave said.
"You donkey!" Brian said.
"You suck!" Movie Theater Guy said.
Sean: (Narrating) Yeah, you didn't think that I was going to talk about that memorable and iconic scene. I'm pretty sure that scene disturbed people when they saw it in theaters. Also, this is how Ed Gein operates. This scene is one of the weirdest and disturbing scenes ever. Meanwhile, the FBI arrive in Chicago, Illinois after learning the identity of Buffalo Bill and that his real name is Jame Gumb, they go after him while Clarice goes to where the first victim worked and asking about Jame Gumb and asking questions. Then the girl mentioned that she used to work for Mrs. Lippman and she gives Starling the address. Meanwhile in Chicago, the F.B.I. arrived at Bill's house and they get ready to bust him while at the same time Catherine manages to get a hold of Bill's dog and demands a phone call or else she kills his dog. The cops ring the doorbell as the alarm sounds.
"And this is where we get a clever twist." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Clarice arrives at Mrs. Lippman's house, only to find Jame Gumb, while the FBI enter the house only to find that it's empty and Crawford realizes that Clarice is in danger. While she's asking Bill some questions, he invites her inside and she becomes very suspicious about him and she sees the moth as she readies her gun to bring the criminal in.
Clarice Starling: (Pulls out her gun) Freeze! Put your hands over your head! And turn around! Spread your legs! Spread your legs! Put your hands in the back! Thumbs up!
(Gumb makes a run for it)
Clarice Starling: Freeze!
Sean: (V/O as Clarice) Why do these criminals make a run for it? Don't they ever listen anymore?
Sean: (Narrating) So, Clarice goes after Buffalo Bill and she stumbles across his little nutty cave and Catherine. Then, things get really tense after Clarice leaves Catherine alone, Bill cuts off the lights and puts on his night vision goggles while Clarice has some trouble seeing in the dark. As Bill tries to put a bullet in our hero, Clarice's training pays off as she shoots and kills Buffalo Bill. Therefore, happy ending! Buffalo Bill is dead and Catherine Martin is safe and sound and Clarice graduates to become a full FBI agent and Crawford congratulates her. But it isn't over yet, because Clarice has a phone call from an old friend….
Clarice Starling: (Answers the phone) Starling.
Dr. Hannibal Lecter: (On the phone) Well, Clarice, have the lambs stop screaming?
Clarice Starling: Dr. Lecter.
Dr. Hannibal Lecter: Don't bother with a trace. I won't be on long enough.
Clarice Starling: (Sees Crawford leaving) Where are you, Dr. Lecter?
Dr. Hannibal Lecter: I have no plans to call on you, Clarice. The world's more interesting with you in it. So you take care now to extend me the same courtesy.
"Don't worry, I'll be pining over you for a long time, Clarice. A long, long time." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Dr. Lecter sees Dr. Chilton coming off of the plane and decides to have him for dinner. Maybe feed that jerk his own thigh.
"And that right there is the perfect ending to the perfect movie and you know what? I absolutely love it." Sean said.
(Clips from the movie are shown once more)
Sean: (Narrating) I don't have any bad things to say about this movie. It is a perfectly crafted crime-thriller. The writing, the cinematography, the music and the acting. I cannot overstate how much I love this film and this movie launched Hannibal Lecter into popular culture, his scenes are amazing. Anthony Hopkins is the best part about this movie and he won an Academy Award for the shortest amount of screentime. If you haven't watched this movie, then go check it out. The Silence of the Lambs comes in at 5 lambs out of 5.
"So, Dr. Lecter. I hope that you enjoyed this review." Sean said.
"Thank you, Sean. I am very satisfied that you gave me an excellent review." Dr. Lecter said. "Are you satisfied with the answers you've been seeking?"
"Not really, Dr. Lecter. Not really." Sean said.
We then get a close-up of Dr. Lecter's face before he speaks. "Oh, the truth is far more disturbing than you thought."
"No, it's not that. Taylor just texted me. She just wanted me to go down to the store and get some stuff for dinner. We're making enchiladas." Sean said.
"Enchiladas? Did you just say enchiladas?" Movie Theater Guy asked. His watch starts beeping as he looks at his wrist.
"Why is his watch beeping?" Sean asked.
"Oh, no. I think you better leave immediately." Dr. Lecter said.
"Why's that?" Sean asked.
"It's time." Movie Theater Guy said as he grabs a baseball bat before he snaps. "YOU ATE MY ENCHILADA!"
"What the hell?!" Sean exclaimed.
"YOU ATE MY ENCHILADA! YOU ATE MY ENCHILADA!" Movie Theater Guy yelled out, turning his attention to Sean.
"I didn't even eat your enchilada, dude! It must've been somebody else!" Sean exclaimed. "Can somebody calm him down?!"
"COCK-A-DOODLE-DOO, THE COW SAYS MOO!" Movie Theater Guy yelled out once more.
"I think you better leave now, Sean. I don't think Crazy Steve could manage to keep himself in check, even if he is crazy. Now go. GO!" Dr. Lecter yelled out.
"I'm leaving! I'm Sean the Mayhem Critic and…" Sean said, then dodges as Movie Theater Guy throws a half-eaten corn dog at him. "...I'm getting the hell outta here!"
"YOU ATE MY ENCHILADA, YOU BASTARD!" Movie Theater Guy screamed out.
Mayhem Critic Tagline- You mean this is like a clue from a real murder case? Cool!/Just ignore him. He's not a Ph.D.
And that is all for the first film reviewed for Halloween Havoc V. I hope that you all enjoyed this review. I will be adding some story-centric plots to the reviews that I'm working on. Will we see Dr. Lecter again later on in Halloween Havoc V? We shall see. Hope that you all enjoyed the great guest star choices like Jamie Campbell Bower as Dr. Hannibal Lecter, Noah Schnapp as Dr. Frederick Chilton and of course, Jerry Trainor as Movie Theater Guy a.k.a. Crazy Steve and that little reference. Next time on Halloween Havoc V, well I'm torn between which two movies that I want to review. Here's the two movies that I'm torn between:
Misery: Sean reviews the classic Stephen King horror film and deals with a crazed fan.
Halloween (1978): In preparation for Halloween Ends, Sean reviews the classic film and tackles Michael Myers while babysitting.
Which one should I tackle next? Misery or Halloween, the 1978 version? Feel free to review this story, add it to your favorites and follow it for future updates. After the review of the second film, I will be reviewing Tales From the Crypt Presents: Bordello of Blood for the third film. I'll see you guys next time. Till next time, my fellow readers.