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Cover Art: Aristeo Storm

Chapter 39

Ozpin proved good on his promise to show them around Mountain Glenn – the official tour as it were. Willow was only too happy to come along, and she, at least, didn't seem to have any problem with Raven or Summer. Raven didn't appear to care about her either, other than to demand a spar. Once Willow said she'd happily fight her for practice, Raven nodded and called the matter resolved.

If Willow was willing to fight her, she couldn't be all that bad.

Summer was less easily convinced.

There was no way Ozpin hadn't noticed the byplay going on, but he was doing the smart thing and pretending he was oblivious, pointing out landmarks and talking about the huge amount of work that had been involved. As a combat instructor, he was no stranger to pretending he didn't know why two combatants in the ring had escalated from friendly spar to attempted murder. It was easier as a teacher to just punish the both of them and move on.

Teams always squabbled at one point or another. It was inevitable. You couldn't cram four people in a small form for four years and expect them not to try and tear one another's eyes out at least once. It could be as simple as someone using someone else's shampoo, to one person snoring too much, to two teammates having a crush on a third. The Team STRQ special, though Summer had always done a good job of pretending she wasn't upset at Raven and Tai being together. Almost as good a job as Raven had of pretending she hadn't been aware of it the whole time.

Shit had been messy. Qrow wasn't looking forward to it getting messy again, as much as he was looking forward to Team STRQ coming together. For all the good parts, there were going to be some shitty instances. At least he could be aware of them this time and act, keeping Summer distracted while Raven and Taiyang did their sappy bullshit.

But, right now, he didn't have Taiyang on hand to blame for Summer's current mood,

Maybe it was her period.

Summer punched his arm.

"Ow! Why?"

"You looked like you'd just thought something stupid," she hissed.

Okay, true, but still – Ow. Qrow rubbed his arm and moved to put Raven between them, only for her to move and bump her hip into his to knock him back. "I ain't being your human shield, bitch," she whispered.

"You're my sister!"

"Sort your own problems out for once."

"For once!? I've sorted out so many of your problems!"

"Sounds like a `you` problem."

"Bitch!"

"And here we have the walls," Ozpin said, very much sticking to his act and just talking over them. "I'm sure someone here is excited to see the weapon armaments."

"Yeah, I am!" Raven cheered. "Qrow said I'd get to fire them!"

"I'm afraid he lied to you, Miss Branwen."

"SON OF A WHORE!"

"I'm your brother, idiot!"

"Yeah, well, you see our father? Only way he could have laid her was by paying."

"I don't believe he could have been so unappealing if you and Qrow come from him," Willow said, standing beside Qrow in the elevator and taking his side. At least someone was. "His looks must have passed on, and Qrow is quite the charming gentleman."

"Thank you, Willow."

She smiled. "You're welcome."

Summer's teeth gnashed together.

"Ah, yes, the walls!" Ozpin said, eyes fixed on the ceiling of the elevator. "Marvels of engineering, almost as tall as Vale's, but don't let the lack of height fool you. They are sturdier in many ways and boast powerful weaponry."

"I'm not interested if I don't get to shoot them."

"I told you he lied," Summer grumbled.

"My own brother lying to me. I'm pissed, Qrow."

"Sounds like a `you` problem to me," he replied.

"I'll fucking make your skull splattered across this elevator a problem in a minute!"

"—firing alternating penetrative and incendiary cartridges capable of detonating inside a Grimm and cooking their bodies, turning them into a ball of fire in the sky. Each one is automatically loaded by a system that—" Ozpin held his cane down between Raven and Qrow when she lunged for him. "I know you're excited to see the weapons, Miss Branwen, but I'll have to ask you to be patient."

Thankfully, the elevator opened and let them spill out onto the wall, where Qrow could earn a little distance from Raven and Summer for his own safety. Willow stuck close, but that only made sense when she was more his friend than theirs. Still, he'd only suggested this to try and pick Ozpin's brain for what could go wrong with Mountain Glenn, not to have team dynamic issues before they were even an official team.

Guess the downside of three-quarters of Team STRQ meeting early is that we start the chafing early as well. I wonder if it's because we're living closer together in the hotel.

Looking back, he could remember Team STRQ had not gotten on at first. That was mostly his and Raven's fault, he'd admit. They'd come in with chips on their shoulders, little sense of how normal folk worked, and the misconception that they and the tribe were hot shit. Summer being made team leader had pissed Raven off and not really impressed Qrow either, and Taiyang had been soft and weak.

At least, that was how it all looked. The tribe had been big on showing off and being seen as vicious, kind of like how apes beat their chests in dominance displays. It hadn't occurred to either of them that Summer and Taiyang might just not be rising to their challenges because it'd be rude. The fact that neither fought back was taken as proof of weakness, which he and Raven had taken to mean they could do whatever they wanted without consequence.

Big mistake.

Sure, Summer had set them straight (after almost killing Raven in a friendly spar) and things had cooled down once that happened, but it'd be a hilarious lie to say Team STRQ had been best friends at first sight.

They'd fucking hated one another.

Ruby and Yang's team had been downright chill by comparison, even with Winter's little sister being an arrogant snot towards Ruby. At least they hadn't literally threatened to stab one another's eyes out and then given it a good shot with a fork. Qrow blamed the tribe. Too many dominance displays, too much "alpha pack mentality" with a person's worth being measured by how much they could bully other people to do their bidding. Beacon had been a wakeup call, and Summer had been a very vicious alarm clock.

Remembering all that helped calm him down, reminded him that he didn't need to fret so much about this because this argument of theirs was so tame compared to all that. Even now with Summer glaring at him, he didn't believe for a second she didn't consider him a friend. They were just having a moment. Maybe it was a case of him being too old (in the head, anyway) to understand what he'd done to upset her.

Kids were weird like that, and teenagers even more so. This was like when he called Yang's music taste shit as a joke and she'd taken it so personally she refused to talk to him for a week straight.

But seriously...

Her taste was shit.

Achieve Men? Boy Bands? Puh-lease.

"And here," Ozpin said, with a relieved gasp as he knew he'd be saved. "Is one of the main guns."

It was big.

It was really fucking big.

Qrow knew his way around weapons and had taught Ruby everything he knew, but that didn't mean he was a master by any means. He could put together a gun and design a way to implement one onto a melee weapon but faced with a weapon that fired rounds in the inches instead of millimetres, Qrow could only think one thing.

Okay, two things.

The first was that he wondered why they used metric for bullets and imperial for shells.

But the second thing was that he thought, that is one big-ass gun!

"SO COOL!" Raven squealed and darted forward, slapping against its ammunition rack like a dog trying to mate with a rock. "Please, please, please let me fire it!"

"No."

"I'll do anything!" she begged. "I'll have sex with you!"

"Ew." Ozpin leaned back. "No, no, no."

"I'll not start a single fight in Beacon!"

Summer coughed. "Bullshit!" she coughed again.

"Not to encourage Miss Rose's language but I also find it difficult to believe you would be capable of holding to such a promise." Ozpin rolled his eyes. "But I will ask if you can sit in the seat and look through the optics systems."

Raven's eyes became lidded.

"After it has been disarmed."

"Oh, come on! Just one shell! What do I pay my taxes for!?"

"You do not pay them, nor have you contributed to society in any meaningful way."

Raven pouted, then looked at Qrow. "Brother. Make me a new weapon attachment for Bromen."

"First of all, it's Omen. Secondly, how do you expect me to fit twelve inch cannon on it, let alone make it light enough for you to lift?"

"Where there's a will, there's a way!"

"You're not having a cannon, Raven."

Raven stuck her bottom lip out. "You all suck balls! If you loved me, you'd want to encourage my dreams!"

"Guess we don't love you," Summer said, shrugging.

"BITCH!"

Ozpin sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Why did I sign up for this again...?"

/-/

Like every responsible adult tasked with babysitting in the last few centuries, Ozpin eventually decided to keep them quiet by forking out his wallet and buying them so much candy and ice cream that they couldn't open their sweet, innocent mouths.

Qrow wasn't complaining.

While the combat instructor massaged a headache and mumbled to himself about poor life choices, and while Raven, Summer and Willow competed in some bizarre test of endurance involving brain freeze and who could keep the best poker face through it, Qrow tried to think of the best way to alert Ozpin to the danger facing Mountain Glenn without being obvious.

"So, you worried about Mountain Glenn falling?"

"What?" Ozpin looked over tiredly. "No. Why? Don't say things like that."

"Just saying, it must be a tempting target for the Grimm."

"Grimm do not select their targets. They are mindless creatures drawn by negativity."

Except they both knew that was bullshit thanks to Salem. Sadly, Ozpin didn't know he knew, and so had to keep to the lie to avoid a worldwide panic. Who knew what people would do if they knew there was an immortal enemy behind the Grimm. Hell, they might do something drastic like fire themselves into space or something.

Nah, that's ridiculous. No one would be that dumb. We don't even have the knowledge and capacity to fire satellites, so how the hell would we get people up there?

Still, it was galling to know so much but struggle to act on it. It made Qrow realise just how lazy he'd gotten in his older years. He hadn't needed to get good at information gathering because he could turn into a bird and listen in, and he hadn't had to put much thought into stuff because Ozpin was always the brains behind the operation. Well, now he didn't have either of those crutches and needed to shape up.

"I just think people are letting their guards down too quickly," he said, watching as Ozpin hummed but did turn to listen to him. "It's amazing and all that this is working, but you shouldn't count your chickens before they've hatched, especially not when the chickens are human lives relying on you to keep 'em safe."

"Hmm. I don't disagree with the sentiment but do you truly believe we're not keeping an eye on things? Security is heightened."

"But all eyes are facing outside."

"Of course. We're looking for Grimm. Who is going to harm Mountain Glenn from within?"

Ah yes, the good old-fashioned lack of enemies to blame this all on. Were this the future, he could say "the White Fang" and be done with it, but the biggest threat they posed was blocking some roads with a peaceful protest.

"I'm just saying you shouldn't forget that things can go wrong inside as well. There are bad people out there, I should know. People that do dumb stuff." Ozpin had to know about the tribe, or suspect, so Qrow tossed him that as a scrap. "I just think it's better to be prepared for every problem. Call me cynical but I'd rather be pleasantly surprised at being wrong than vindicated for being right."

"You are a very cynical young man but I cannot fault your sentiment here." Ozpin poked his spoon around his coffee, not really drinking any of it. "But the problem is that I'm limited. I have to tech at Beacon and there's a new year group coming in with yourselves. I don't really have the time or capability to commit to watching Mountain Glenn, though I'll never be too far away if they need help."

Not good enough, damn it.

But it wasn't Ozpin's fault. Hell, Qrow didn't even believe this was going to be Salem's fault. Something was going to happen here purely by accident, and that was the worst part. If it were someone doing it, he could point them out and solve the issue.

"I just have a bad feeling," he said, lamely.

"Hmm." Ozpin noted it but didn't act on it. He couldn't, really. "I'll double check the defences and security if it helps you sleep easier. Certainly, that is within my ability while I'm not working at Beacon."

"Thank you."

It probably wouldn't be enough. He needed to find the cause of this.

/-/

"I hear you're having girl troubles."

Qrow looked blearily at Gretchen Rainart, who was leaning on the wall at the gym. "What?"

"Hazel told me. Something about your sister and friend giving you grief."

"More Summer than Raven."

"Really? Hazel says your sister is especially mean to you."

"Ha!" Qrow laughed. "No, that's her being nice." Gretchen looked like she wasn't sure how to process that. "Trust me, you only really need to worry when Ray is friendly and kind. That's when you need to panic. If she's spitting insults, that means she's in a good mood. As for Summer, yeah there's something going on, but I reckon it's just us being stuck in close proximity. I'm giving her space."

"Hmmmmmmmm." Gretchen hummed the hum of a woman who thought you were wrong.

Qrow sighed.

"What does that mean?"

"Nothing."

"That wasn't nothing. That was you thinking I'm an idiot. C'mon, spill."

"Well, I'm just not sure if ignoring it is a winning strategy. Speaking from a girl's perspective here, it'd just make me think you didn't care."

"I do care. I just... I've a lot on my mind."

"Hmmmmmmmmmm..."

"Okay, stop that."

"Hm? I was just humming."

Yeah, right. Hazel's sister had come around a few times to practice at the gym since meeting him, but she split her time equally between him and the others, often joining in with Summer and Raven's spars. It was obvious she was coming around because she wanted to prep for Beacon and saw them as convenient training partners, and he couldn't fault her for that. Raven and Summer weren't especially close with her, but they both seemed on friendly terms.

It was definitely a warmer relationship than Summer and Willow had.

Gretchen's interactions with him were warm too, but she mostly saw him as her little brother's friend – and he'd often catch her smiling their way whenever he was helping spot for Hazel. The girl was absolutely obsessed with looking after her brothel, which he supposed he would be as well if Raven were younger by several years and had to rely on him. She was like them in a way, except less raised by a group of bloodthirsty killers.

So, not much like them really other than being in possession of a sibling and having no parents.

But, geez, she was the kind of person who couldn't hide her feelings to save her life. Case in point, the fact he could read her reactions to everything he saw just by how long and deeply she hummed.

"I'm not a mind reader, Gretchen. Can't you just tell me what's up?"

"Hey! I'm not a mind reader either. How would I know?"

"Has Summer not told you? I figured you girls would share everything."

"Ehhhh—?" Gretchen leaned back. "Are you saying we have nothing better to do than talk about you when we hang out? That's a little arrogant, Qrow. Geez. I don't think your name has even come up. You're not the centre of the universe, you know."

Qrow flinched with every statement, feeling like a nail being slowly and repeatedly driven down into the ground. He hadn't meant it like that, damn it, but now he looked like a tool. "O—Okay, sheesh. Pardon me for asking. I just thought you had, like, conferences in the bathroom."

"About you?"

"Erk."

"Hah..." Gretchen released a sigh. "It's a wonder your neck hasn't snapped from the weight of your head."

"Hey now!"

"I hope my adorable little brother doesn't pick up any of your bad habits."

"Your adorable little brother is growing so fast he's going to break seven feet tall," Qrow grumbled. He was already as tall as Qrow was. "And if he keeps working out like this, he's going to be built like a small house. Where did all your growth spurts go."

"My personality."

Qrow eyed her flat chest. "They certainly went somewhere, I guess."

Gretchen covered... well, there wasn't much to cover, but she crossed her arms over her chest and glowered at him for looking. "Creep."

"What do you mean? I can admire a well-defined chest."

"Asshole!" she hissed. "It's no wonder Summer is angry at you!"

"Ahah! So, you do know what she's angry about!"

Gretchen flinched. "Erk—! N—No," she lied, blushing sharply with her eyes flitting about for an escape route. "I've no idea what you're talking about. Who even is Summer? It's autumn now, you idiot. You should fix your calendar."

"Man, you are bad at keeping secrets."

"Well, you're bad at not annoying every woman in a hundred metre radius!"

Hazel walked up with a pair of kettlebells. "What's going on here— erk!"

He stumbled back as Gretchen lunged and hugged him, dragging him against her chest.

"Brother! Qrow is being mean! Don't grow up like him, you'll just make women said and disappointed. Also, you'll be an alcoholic."

"I thought you didn't talk about me," Qrow drawled. "Funny you know about my drinking if that's the case."

"He's also ugly and stupid."

"Oi!" Qrow yelled, shaking a fist. "I don't want to hear that from you!"

Hazel sighed. "Don't be mean to my sister, Qrow."

"She's being mean to me!"

"Sister, don't be mean to Qrow." Hazel extricated himself from Gretchen and picked up the kettlebells he'd dropped. "Do you not have any male friends?" he asked. "Because this gym is getting pretty rowdy with all these huntresses. Not to mention those meatheads keep challenging Raven to fights when they aren't even huntsman trained."

"Yeah." Qrow chuckled. "That's funny."

"Qrow, she sent the last guy to hospital."

"She broke his toe," Gretchen said, rolling her eyes. "And he fell to the floor screaming like a baby. To be fair, he told her he's – and I quote – show her why her place should be at his side and not out there fighting Grimm. Plus, he said he'd `tame her` in front of his friends."

Good luck on that one. Four years in Beacon, two years of marriage and a world-ending threat hadn't been enough to tame Raven the first time around, and it was going to take a miracle to manage it on the second. Luckily, Qrow had a miracle. Qrow had the miracle, and he was expected today.

The gym doors blew in suddenly, expelled with great force as an absolute heartthrob stepped into the gym floor, biceps rippling, short blonde hair flowing, and eyes shining like two small oceans.

"I HAVE ARRIVED!"

Up in the ring, Raven Branwen cursed up a storm. "Fuckity fuck, fuck, fuck! Not him! No fucking way!"

Summer giggled and covered her mouth with one hand.

"Whoah..." said Gretchen, suddenly not at all interested in Qrow. Go figure. It was hardly a new experience when this glorious bastard showed up. "Who is that!?"

"That, my dear, is Taiyang Xiao-Long. Also known as a female black hole."

"What's that meant to mean?" asked Hazel.

"He can suck me up and devour me any day of the week," Gretchen purred.

"Oh..." Hazel palmed his face. "That's what it means."

"Yep."

"I take it back, Qrow. I wish you didn't have any male friends."

Laughing, Qrow walked over and held out his hand, and Taiyang met him halfway, clasping wrists and palms together in the air between them. The absolute bastard looked like a supermodel, all perfect skin and lean muscle. Qrow felt inferior immediately, but then that was nothing new. Taiyang had always been too damn handsome.

"About time you made it," said Qrow.

"Sorry I'm late," Taiyang replied. "But several women needed help with their shopping bags on the way over. I couldn't say no."

"You oblivious son of a bitch."

"I'm not oblivious, Qrow. I know what they wanted."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, they were lazy and wanted someone to do the lifting for them. Kept talking about slipping into something more comfortable while I put their shopping away." He laughed honestly. "Lazy people, eh?"

Qrow regarded his best friend, smile growing. "You oblivious son of a bitch!"

They chest-slammed one another and commenced the backslapping, the ancient male ritual involving grunting and laughter and smacks of flesh as they struck backs and rammed shoulders together.

When he parted, Taiyang pointed to the arena.

"RAVEN BRANWEN!"

"Oh, fuck off!"

"I CHALLENGE YOU TO A DUEL!"

"No, seriously! Fuck off!"

"WHAT'S THE MATTER? SCARED TO FACE ME!?"

"You could have picked any academy on Remnant!" Raven howled. "Why Beacon? Why—? Qrow, you fucking prick! This is your doing!"

"Hi!" Gretchen slid up, appearing as if by magic. "I'm sing— I mean, I'm Gretchen. Hi!"

Behind her, Hazel groaned into both hands.

"Gretchen, hm?" Taiyang flashed her a dazzling smile. The huntress swayed as if she'd just lost half her aura from the force of it. "Nice to meet ya. Any friend of Qrow's is a friend of mine." He held out his hand, which she took.

"Great! And I am Qrow's friend. Absolutely."

"You called be dumb and ugly earl—ow!" Qrow yanked his foot out from under Gretchen's. "Bitch!"

"Ahahahahaha! Qrow is suck a joker," she laughed unconvincingly. "Anyway, I'd love to spar with you as well. I'm training for Beacon. Raven and Summer have been really good sparring partners, but I'd love some variety. What weapon do you use?"

Taiyang grinned. "I let my hands do the talking."

"Y—You do?" Gretchen's breathing became a little heavy. "T—They're big hands, too. Do you grapple...?"

"When the opportunity calls for it, yes."

"I... ah... I... hah... eheheheh..."

"Looks like all the exercise has gone to her head," said Qrow, peeling the excited girl off Taiyang before she could ruin his plans and give Yang and Ruby an older sister. "I'll get her some water. Good luck with Raven, I know she's been looking forward to fighting with you."

"I CAN FUCKING HEAR YOUR LIES, QROW! THERE WILL BE A RECKONING!"

Taiyang boomed out a laugh and turned away, walking confidently toward the ring where Raven was already furiously sharpening her weapon, no doubt in the hopes she could "accidentally" send Taiyang to the morgue. It was all for nothing, though. Try as she might, Taiyang would do what Taiyang did best.

Raven could not fight the slow seduction.

No woman could.

"I feel like spaghetti," Gretchen giggled when he pulled her back to Hazel.

"That's the blackhole effect at work. You nearly crossed the event horizon."

"I don't want to escape..."

Hazel sighed. "Will she recover from this?"

"Most women can get used to Taiyang eventually, if only through repeat exposure."

"Hmmmmmmm." Gretchen's hum was very content. "Repeat exposure... oh, I like the sound of that. Again and again and again. Ehehehehehe..."

"I regret ever introducing her to you," Hazel told Qrow.

"Yeah. That's fair."

The dragon had landed.

Team STRQ was whole once more.

Next Chapter: 20th July

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