A/N: Now I'm retracting my own words: chapter 3 is the worst, not chapter 2. I almost got goosebumps out of embarrassment reading my own work. I don't know if I'm giving all appearance of enjoying criticizing everything I wrote even before someone has the chance to, but I really want to criticize it if I'm a reader, not a writer. As I've said, I'm a keen reader so I gain experience through reading a lot, not writing a lot. I'm trying to make my thing better and view it as a reader so it may seem better to a reader but yeah this still sounds terrible despite my efforts இ௰இ I will warn you once again: DON'T USE YOUR BRAIN WHEN YOU READ MY WORK.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

"What?" She asked back.

"You're not going to say anything about this? Like "I love you" or "I did behave as if I have no feeling at all for you, but at the bottom of my heart, actually, I'm madly enamoured of you, Deidara-nii? Hmmm?" The blond grinned.

"Shut up! It's not like that." She shook his shoulders as aggressively as her emotions were burning inside. "I just… I just… want to make sure you come back…I don't know how to put it… Like, you should feel the need to reciprocate it or something like that…like you did today or…". And she stopped suddenly. "Okay, I'm stupid. Forget all the bullshit I've tried to explain. Your brain might be too tiny to comprehend it."

"Aw, but I'm more intelligent than you think, mmm." He replied enthusiastically, "I understand what you think and mean." The boy then suddenly pinned her down to her bed, despite her confused look. "What time is it?"

"Look, 2:30. That means we've spent my precious half an hour fucking around out there. And what the hell are you going to do now asshole? I thought you were to leave?"

"I thought it's 3:00. 3:00 is late enough to leave, but 2:30 is still early. Let's have some kind of bedtime talk until it is 3:00!". 'He was on the point of leaving like a few minutes ago and now he says it's still 30 minutes early and he will stay - what the fuck?'

She raised an eyebrow. "On my bed?"

"You bet. I don't like standing in one place for too long."

She seemed none too pleased but didn't push him away.

x-

"Okay, where should we start?", she asked awkwardly. Again, he was embracing her, but his arms were so warm she couldn't say she could resist them. Damn the cold weather. She felt she had no choice but to let him get closer and closer physically because the room was fucking cold. And it even felt colder after she had been exposed to his body's warmth.

"Let me first, I think I like your pink pyjamas."

"Hey!" She flushed. The black-haired was mortified to find out that she had worn this pinky girly stuff and flew outside and kissed him and did everything so naturally as if she had been wearing her usual outfit. She was not even aware of anything weird as to why she had felt strangely cold. 'Alright, I'm stupid.'

"Talk about something more serious!" The girl growled. She started to pull his hair and tried to cause as much pain as possible. "NOOO, IF YOU KEEP DOING THIS, I'LL BE BALD." She glared at him, deciding to be the one to say.

"Why are you here?"

"To visit you? Just as I've said."

"Why are you visiting me? Life with Akatsuki is getting boring?" For a second, the word 'Akatsuki' made her heart sink. She couldn't fathom why she simply uttered it so casually, with one of its members - with Iwagakure's enemy. A fair few of negative sentiments and memories about his betrayal had been conjured up at the mention of the mercenary group. Her grandfather had once told her about the goddamn organisation to which Deidara was now affiliated, and she found nothing interesting about life with such an unpleasant thing.

"No, it's not exactly boring. But I came here because I've made a promise, un."

'Ah…' She didn't bother to recall his words that night. His betrayal was now irreversible. The black-haired couldn't look at him with so much adoration as she did before.

Kurotsuchi thought to herself, she only let him do what he was doing now because she missed the warmth, the old friendly feelings he had brought in the past. All the nostalgia did nothing to make her feel better, instead it only served to highlight the emptiness in her chest and in her world without him. Instead, what she needed was things that happened in reality. Therefore, she simply wanted to grab the chance then and enjoy them, for just a few minutes or perhaps a little more.

x-

Or at least, that was what she thought for the time being.

x-

"So what fun have you found in them, Akatsuki?" It killed her to see how he could be loyal to a group of barbaric monsters but not to her beloved village.

"Not much like fun, but there are powerful, talented figures, all missing-nin in it. I joined the group at first since I was forced by one I loathe so much but then I think that an environment with such freedom could help me develop my potential pretty well so I like it, yeah."

"Forced? Who?"

"I know revealing information about Akatsuki is a dangerous thing to do", answered the blond. "But he's a person everyone knows. It's useless stuff so I'll tell you – you can and will do nothing with it. Uchiha Itachi. He's an asshole who showed no respect for art and was powerful as fuck..." His voice sounded annoyed, "But thanks to him I've discovered my shortcomings and been improving myself faster than ever. I'll kill him one day, mmm."

"Do you guys work individually or in groups?"

"This is also useless shit. We actually work in pairs." The way he exerted caution when divulging information about Akatsuki almost offended her. He didn't trust her, just like she did to him – no problem. But the image of him doing the exact opposite with the village when joining Akatsuki floating in her head didn't bear thinking.

"Okay, and who's your partner?"

"Sasori-danna. Like I don't know what he looks like because he lives under a puppet armour named Hiruko but I can sense that he's ugly, hmm. He's a 'puppetaholic' and a bigoted rascal who is always arguing with me that art is eternal. What a stupid misconception! Art has to be fleeting and explosions are a perfect example." 'This organisation is crazy'. She commented to herself, 'Probably that's why they took him on. Crazy people like crazy people.'

"What do you guys do to make money? Stealing? Or with murder and robbery?

"Well, I should ask whether you are talking casually or wittingly interrogating me, hmmm?"

She gave him a mocking look in response. "Smarter than I thought."

x-

"Man, you don't trust me."

"I've never said I do. Nor do you seem to trust me."

His hug no longer felt cosy.

x-

But at least, it was still there.

Nothing happened except that he only moved closer to her. He kept his gaze on Kurotsuchi, his nose nearly touching hers. His blue orbs were firmly locked with hers and she could feel his every breath heaving on and through her skin. It was strange she didn't find it uncomfortable.

She was well aware of the lack of trust between them, the fact that he was Iwagakure's enemy, and that he could suddenly attack her at any time. But she couldn't help but feel disappointed at herself when she occasionally dropped her guard so carelessly. Anyway, Deidara's place in her heart had never been a normal one. They always had some kind of weird connection that made her unconsciously treat him differently. Damn unconsciously. And she could not understand them.

She couldn't understand herself either. Why had she bothered to kiss him instead of slapping his annoying mouth? (Why had he even bothered to kiss her back?) Why had she had to cry when she saw him behave as if he had cared for her when actually he hadn't? Why did all her rationality simply go out of the window, giving way to silly emotions that were pumped into her heart dramatically? And why two people who hadn't trusted each other could remain in such a position?

Maybe Kurotsuchi had lost her sanity since the moment the boy had successfully broken into her room.

Deidara narrowed his eyes, but then pulled a light-hearted smile. "I guess I've offered you quite a lot of information. It's time you gave me back a bit. It's my turn now, mmm." And he saw her tense.

x-

"Akatsuki didn't send me here to collect confidential information. They have other means you kn-". He quickly stopped his efforts to make the atmosphere less stifling as her look became murderous. 'He talked about my village's confidential information being revealed so coolly', just like it was a completely acceptable thing to her!?

The boy had to make it quicker, "Okay I'm sorry. I mean, I only intend to ask, it's very simple, like, why did you kiss me, un?" Soon, her fury was replaced by visible embarrassment. The boy noticed that and unfortunately, he seemed very much to delight in her discomfiture.

"So that you would shut the fuck up and stop mouthing stupid nonsense!"

"You're so desperate you couldn't find a better way to stop the boy you hate but kissing him? Not to mention I only said "You cannot force me unless you do something-" and you kissed me right away! I didn't even suggest you do any specific thing. Wow that's cool to say the least, hmmm."

His grin widened as the redness in her cheeks quickly intensified.

She exhaled in a quiet, sheepish voice, "If you didn't insinuate that I should do what I did then what did you mean?" He grinned, "It's now my small secret because I've revealed enough to you, yeah."

She frowned. He was clearly teasing her. But to her newly realised surprise, he was teasing her just like a friend - one that she had lost. Kurotsuchi moved her body slightly and scrutinised Deidara's face again. She saw an old friend she missed so hard. He was too gentle, given his eccentric liking for bombing destruction and he had even bothered to go visit her for no ostensible reason but his stupid words a long time ago. The light in his eyes somehow evoked bizarre feelings inside her. She didn't know how to explain that, nor did she want to acknowledge it.

Alright, now everything was a mess. Everything was intolerable, both her discomfort and intense emotions triggered simply by the sight of him - him so close to her. Nostalgia. Joy. And pain. Guilt. She missed the past. She hated the present. She feared the future. Tears suddenly welled up in her eyes again, and she sobbed. Kurotsuchi had failed to control the dramatic storms inside her head as well as her stomach.

"Wait what? Are you crying, eh?" He tried his best to wipe all the tears that were spilling down her face uncontrollably.

She sat up, so did he, his hands kept on cleaning tears out of her face. Why would a horrible traitor bother to do this stupid, useless thing? Her arms loose, she didn't move.

"Why are you crying? You must know you look real ugly. Well, girls are weird, or probably they aren't but you're the one who is weird, yeah." His question seemed to prod her into something. The black-haired hissed, "I'm bombarded with a plethora of pieces of contradictory and unpleasant and incomprehensible information and being thrown into a fucking emotional turmoil which I didn't know how the fuck I could get fucking out of!" Her voice was not choked, but she couldn't suppress her stupid tears, "Why do you just behave like you fucking care for me when you actually don't?"

"When have you learned to curse so much?"

"When I was first betrayed."

x-

Deidara found it amusing, the way their conversation could be funny and serious at the same time.

"And I thought I was the one who should ask questions?"

"Oh, I've forgotten that. I've got too many in my head." The girl bit her lips. She could distinctly feel that the more words she uttered, the sillier they became.

"Woah, okay, so then why did you cry?"

"I don't really know. Too many things have happened."

He rolled his eyes. Kurotsuchi, on instinct, jumped up a little in surprise when her body was pulled closer to him. The blond slowly moved his lips on her collarbone, his eyes glued to hers. Bold, wasn't he? She hesitantly ran her hand through his hair. She didn't know why she did or why he did what they did, but she didn't want to find out why then. She didn't want to remember what was happening. Everything had already been out of her control. And she just thought that may last for only a little time. Yeah, maybe.

"You like physical contact, hmmm?"

"Perhaps yes..."

"Me too!"

"It's no special thing to speak of. Humans naturally like physical contact."

"According to who?"

"Me."

Deidara giggled cheerily at her answer. "My turn again, you idiot only ask stupid questions!", "At least I didn't try to interrogate you." A glimmer of a smile adorned her lips. Yet she couldn't fathom why she even smiled with him. Why would she let herself do such a thing? Why was she so alarmingly relaxed when she was with that asshole?

x-

Her smile disappeared in a second and the unpleasant thoughts must have manifested themselves pretty clearly in her frown and the look in her eyes, since after that he held her shoulders and asserted, "I will not kill you."

"Oh, did I say the opposite? I mean, at least out loud?"

"No, but your face did, mmm."

"I don't find it in myself to always feel comfortable with you around, you know."

"Maybe you can learn."

"Why should I?"

"I've said I will not kill you."

She laughed and scoffed. "Why won't you?" His words carried no weight to her then. Even if he said he ever loved her or something like that, even if he treat her in a bizarrely gentle way, even if she had kissed him, even if they were hugging each other, even if his breath beside her ear felt warm enough, Deidara was, after all, a traitor – a horrible one, she added.

"Because," He held her chin up, their eye contact intense as it had always been, "I don't find it in myself to do it". His lips were brushed with hers again. Her instinctive response was to grab his cheeks and press their kiss a bit. Blood ran through her veins fast. She felt both easy and uneasy at the same time, yet she no longer had the mind to think about it anymore. When Kurotsuchi felt like stopping, the blond still managed to linger his lips on hers for a few more seconds.

"Wow, it's amazing a person who doesn't love me could have two kisses with me in one night alone, mmm." He beamed in an awful way as he saw her blushing furiously. 'Damn myself!'

"And it's 3:00, unfortunately, hmm. I've got to leave and let you realise your true feelings for me on your own. Do you want to kiss my cheek before I leave again?"

"Fucking no." Albeit a bit abrupt, his leaving was much welcomed. "Please fuck off as soon as possible."

"Alright, goodnight, yeah." He chuckled. Deidara took his cloak and forehead protector before jumping out into the pitch dark night sky. She tossed around on her bed, not wanting to reply. Kurotsuchi already knew she would lose her sleep tonight, and she also knew who the culprit was.

The first few chapters may be a little short but believe me, the length will increase as the story goes on, alongside the absurdity of course. I guess I'll be less talkative the next chapters because I'll run out of ideas as to what to ramble about (you may have known this or not, but all the author's notes like this are written by me in one day alone and I post 10 chapters in one day alone ╰(*°▽°*)╯). Btw, idk if I need to give a spoiler alert, yeah probably no, but in the next chapter there'll be some characters I've created myself to add some fun. I think it'd be lame to watch Deidara and Kurotsuchi talking about things lovers often talk about all the time so I think the atmostphere should be changed a little bit.