The Mayhem Critic
Aloha, my fellow readers. It is I, the great James Stryker and welcome back to another hilarious chapter of The Mayhem Critic and a happy July to you all. I hope you all are having a safe and great Fourth of July. Now, I know that you all want me to review the movie Independence Day, because I know that you all want me to make a joke about Will Smith slapping aliens to oblivion. Matter of fact, I might review it after this chapter. Today, Sean reviews the 1993 thriller In the Line of Fire, a film that he happens to enjoy when he first saw it when he was 14. How well does this film holds up? Is it one of Wolfgang Petersen's finest like Air Force One? Or does it take a bullet? We'll find out today in the new chapter of The Mayhem Critic. Sit back, relax and enjoy,
P.S.: I do not own anything involved in this story. All rights and referenced belong to their respective sources. In the Line of Fire is owned by Columbia Pictures and Castle Rock Entertainment.
Episode 179
In the Line of Fire
(The Mayhem Critic intro is shown while the song "Everybody Rules the World" plays in the background. After the intro ends, we see our favorite residential movie critic Sean J. Archer, a.k.a. the Mayhem Critic, sitting on his couch as he starts his introduction)
"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. I'm Sean the Mayhem Critic, the critic that rips a new one." Sean said. "You know, 1993 is an excellent year for movies."
(A montage of movies released in 1993 are shown. The posters being shown are Jurassic Park, The Nightmare Before Christmas, Robin Hood: Men in Tights, Hocus Pocus, The Fugitive, Batman: Mask of the Phantasm, Demolition Man, Free Willy and Schindler's List are shown)
Sean: (Narrating) Yeah. Films like Jurassic Park, The Nightmare Before Christmas, Robin Hood: Men in Tights, The Fugitive, Hocus Pocus, Mask of the Phantasm, Demolition Man, Schindler's List and Free Willy. Damn, '93 was an excellent year...
(A poster for the films Super Mario Bros.,RoboCop 3 and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III are shown)
Sean: (Narrating) Except for these three pieces of shit! And I was only a year old when these movies came out and when I got older, I grew up to watch them. Hell, Mask of the Phantasm is one of my favorites from that year. And I'm looking forward to get the movie on Ultra 4k Blu-Ray. We got ourselves a lot of great films from that year.
"And joining the ranks of awesome films from 1993 is In the Line of Fire." Sean said.
(The title screen for the movie is shown, followed by clips from the movie while music by Ennio Morricone plays in the background)
Sean: (Narrating) When I found out about this movie, I was like only 6 or 7 when I saw the commercial for it when they showed it on Fox Network. It was on a Friday and yet I was at the St. Rita's Festival with my mom. And when we got home and my grandma was watching the Ten O'Clock News, they were showing a clip of Clint Eastwood jumping in front of the President and taking the bullet for him. Holy crap, that was the most epic scene ever. And when I was 14 and before I started high school in 2006, I caught a showing of the movie on TNT and I watched it. I loved the movie and in 2007, when my grandmother was in the hospital after she had her stroke, I owned the movie on DVD along with Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Also, my Aunt Robbie and my Uncle Bennie owned the movie on VHS. So, you can see that this movie holds a very special place in my heart because it was one of my favorite movies of all time. Released in theaters on July 8th, 1993, the film was directed by Wolfgang Petersen, who I talked about in my review of Air Force One, another movie that he directed. Check that review out. The movie was written by Jeff Maguire, who wrote the films Victory and Gridiron Gang. The movie was also produced by Jeff Apple, who's known for producing the movie Zapped!, starring...
(A picture of Scott Baio is shown)
Sean: (Narrating) Ugh! This asshole Trump supporter. I don't know who's much worse him or fuckin' Nick "The Fat Pig" Adams! But enough about wanting to punch Scott Baio in the face, In the Line of Fire was a critical and commercial success after it's release and it was also even nominated for three Academy Awards. Also, Eastwood's movie A Perfect World was released the same year as this movie. This was also one of Eastwood's best films as well. Yeah, two great Eastwood films released in the same year and this was after Unforgiven, which was released back in 1992. This movie was one of the most badass political thrillers ever. We're gonna look at why Siskel & Ebert gave this film two thumbs up. And even though it's a movie that's held up pretty well in 30 years, there will be some stuff that I will be making fun of or maybe a little nitpick about something. Just to let you know that this is a positive review of this movie. Let's take a closer look to find out.
"This is my favorite Eastwood movie along with Sudden Impact and Unforgiven and also Tightrope, this is In the Line of Fire." Sean said.
(The movie opens with shots of Washington D.C. The following shots shown are the United States Capitol, the Washington Monument, the Jefferson Memorial and the White House)
Sean: (Narrating) We open with shots of Washington D.C., and I love this opening showing the different landmarks. And when I was in the 10th grade, I went to Washington D.C. on my class trip and I got a chance to visit some of the landmarks like the White House, Jefferson Memorial and the Washington Monument. Plus, the late Ennio Morricone's music score makes this opening pretty damn great. After we get a shot of the White House and see the title of the movie, we see Secret Service Agent Frank Horrigan, played by Clint Eastwood, as we see him getting a ride from his partner Al D'Andrea, played by Dylan McDermott, and he has some problems of his own.
Al D'Andrea (Played by Dylan McDermott): My wife had to work early, so I took my kid to his new school. He won't stop crying. Says he wants to move back to Chicago. It broke my heart.
Frank Horrigan (Played by Clint Eastwood): Any more excuses?
"Well, his first wife died from complications of Type 1 diabetes. Can you be a bit more sympathetic for the poor guy? He's been through a lot in his life." Sean said, referencing the movie Steel Magnolias.
Sean: (Narrating) They go to meet with members of a counterfeiting group at the marina as they meet with the leader named Mendoza, played by Tobin Bell, who's tells Frank there's something fishy about Al.
Mendoza (Played by Tobin Bell): This guy Al keeps asking me questions about my counterfeiter.
Frank Horrigan: Really?
Mendoza: He asked me too many questions. Now, my instinct usually tells me when there's something wrong. And there's something wrong here, so I had him followed. He's a fucking Secret Service agent, Frank.
"He knows about dead lawyers just like Eddie Lomax." Sean said as a picture of Eddie Lomax from The Firm is shown.
(Frank and Mendoza head inside the boat and sees Al tied and gagged)
Sean: (V/O as Horrigan) Oh, looks like you got another dead lawyer to add to your list.
Mendoza: What do you think I ought to do here, Frank?
Frank Horrigan: Make sure the body doesn't wash up on shore.
(One of Mendoza's men, Raul, chuckles)
Mendoza: I want you to pop him for me. (Pulls out a nickel-plated Llama III-A pistol) See, I think maybe you're with him.
Frank Horrigan: Look, you came to me, remember?
Mendoza: So pop him. Show me I'm an asshole.
"Hey, we get see how John Kramer got his start as a psychotic serial killer who makes people play sick games." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Mendoza hands Frank the gun to shoot Al, but the gun is unloaded, so one of the goons put a bag over Bobby Donnell's head to make him suffocate while Mendoza and Frank get omlets. But before they cut his partner's screen time short, it's time for Eastwood to go all Dirty Harry on their asses.
(Horrigan points his Smith & Wesson Model 19 revolver at Jimmy)
Frank Horrigan: You're under arrest.
(Raul pulls out his gun and gets ready to shoot Frank, but Frank shoots Raul, then he shoots Jimmy before aiming the gun at Mendoza. Mendoza gets ready to shoot Frank, but the gun is unloaded. Frank removes the plastic bag from off of Al's head, Al gasps for air)
Frank Horrigan: And you're under arrest too. (Pulls out his badge) Secret Service.
"And just like his farewell to his Man With No Name character in Unforgiven, this is his farewell to Dirty Harry." Sean said while he bows his head down.
(A picture of Dirty Harry is shown with the caption "Dirty Harry. 1971-1993" while sad violin music plays in the background)
Sean: (Narrating) Frank and Al head down to a bar after a hard day's work and they have a little chat with each other.
Al D'Andrea: You kill guys before, Frank?
(Frank gives Al a look)
Al D'Andrea: Does it get to you?
Frank Horrigan: It gets to you.
Al D'Andrea: I don't know if I'm cut out for this undercover stuff. Man, I was so scared. You know, I joined the Secret Service because... I always wanted to protect people.
Frank Horrigan: The idea of throwing yourself in front of a gun hoping like hell the bullet hits you instead of the guy you're protecting- You find that appealing?
Al D'Andrea: I don't know. Maybe I'm- Maybe I'm just wrong for the job.
Frank Horrigan: You're a good man, Al. You'll make a good agent.
Al D' Andrea: How do you know? This is the longest conversation we ever had.
Frank Horrigan: I know things about people.
"Trust Frank. He knows that you'll live. And knowing his history on having a partner, they either get killed or injured." Sean said.
Frank Horrigan: I'll see you in the office.
Al D'Andrea: Oh, damn. The office. Monroe wanted us to check out some wacko.
Frank Horrigan: I'll take care of it.
Al D'Andrea: I'll go with you.
Frank Horrigan: No. You go home, hug your wife and kid. (Winks at Al)
"Well, that's nice of him. See that? He's not a pain in the ass. He's a genuine nice guy and that's what I love about Eastwood's character. He can be tough at times, but he can be kind." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Frank heads down to the apartment to check out the wacko named Joseph McCrawley and checks out the place and the landlady shows Frank what she found, which is a collage of photographs and newpaper articles of famous assassinations, a model-building magazine and the cover of Time Magazine with the president's face on it. But our psycho is keeping his eye on Frank. But don't worry, we'll talk about him later because the next day, Frank and Al are doing some investigating to find out anything about Joseph McCrawley, only to learn that the actual Joseph McCrawley died at age 11 and the person is using his name. So they head down to the apartment with a search warrant and they head inside to see that everything is gone, except for a certain photo that was left behind and the past has come back to haunt Frank.
(A photo of John F. Kennedy in Dallas from 1963 is shown and we see a much younger Horrigan standing behind Kennedy on the day of his assassination)
Al D'Andrea: Oh, my God. That's you.
"Why didn't you tell me that you were Dirty Harry? Oh, my God. You were a legend with that gun!" Sean exclaimed, imitating Al.
Sean: (Narrating) After finding out about his past, Frank head back to his apartment and gets a phone call from a guy who calls himself "Booth", like the assassin John Wilkes Booth. Plus, Booth had flair and panache. Hell, he could call himself "Hinkley".
Frank Horrigan: Where are you?
Booth (Played by John Malkovich): (On the phone) Closer than you might imagine. It's very exciting to talk to you. I feel like I know you.
Frank Horrigan: Oh, how's that?
Booth: I've read about you, seen photos. You were JFK's favorite agent, the best and the brightest. But that was a long time ago. What's kept you in the game all these years?
Frank Horrigan: Why don't we get together to have a drink? Then we could talk about that.
Booth: I would love to, but the less you know about me the better.
"Yeah, we know who you are. You're John Malkovich. You played Lennie in the film adaptation of John Steinbeck's Of Mice and Men. It's no big secret." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Then Booth reveals his most diabolical and most sinister plan to Frank. He's planning on assassinating the president and he means it. But after hearing a coin being inserted in a phone booth that tipped him off along with the sound of a fire truck siren, Frank heads outside to confront the guy.
(Frank heads outside and runs over to a phone booth, only to see that Booth has vanished)
"Oh, my God. He's dealing with Batman." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Frank and Al go to see Frank's old buddy Secret Service Director Sam Campagna, played by John Mahoney, and he is introduced to two other agents: one of which is an asshole with a punchable face Bill Watts, played by Gary Cole, and a beautiful redhead female agent named Lilly Raines, played by Rene Russo.
Frank Horrigan: Secretaries get prettier and prettier around here.
Lilly Raines (Played by Rene Russo): And the field agents get older and older.
Sam Campagna (Played by John Mahoney): (Chuckles) Lilly's an agent, Frank.
Frank Horrigan: I knew that. I just wanted to see if she had a sense of humor.
"I also wanted to see if she's going to be my younger love interest in the movie." Sean said, imitating Frank.
Sean: (Narrating) They get to business talking about the guy Booth, but Dr. James Possible questions him about his actions because he's an asshole and just wants to piss Frank off.
Bill Watts (Played by Gary Cole): Given your reputation for undercover work, I wouldn't think that...
Frank Horrigan: What reputation are you talking about?
Sam Campagna: Alright, let's get back on track.
Frank Horrigan: Oh, I want to know what reputation he's referring to?
Bill Watts: Let's drop it.
Frank Horrigan: Am I being paranoid or is he busting my balls?
Lilly Raines: Probably a little bit of both.
Frank Horrigan: You know, Bill. There was a time around here when I was almost as arrogant as you.
Bill Watts: I don't have time for this. I have to pull 75 agents out of Miami.
"I don't need to take this crap from you, old man. I was on Midnight Caller!" Sean exclaimed, imitating Watts.
Sean: (Narrating) Later, Frank talks to Sam about wanting to be assigned to the president for protection, but Sam tells him that he's old.
Frank Horrigan: You owe it to me after 30 years of favors.
Sam Campagna: If you knew how many times I protected your job...
Frank Horrigan: I've got to come back, Sam.
Sam Campagna: You really want to stand post again, Frank? At your age?
"Didn't stop Charles Bronson when he did Death Wish V, and the dude was about 73 years old." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) So Frank is assigned to the president and as we see him running by the side of his limo, you can tell that he's getting too old for this stuff. Mind you, the character is 50 years old and Eastwood was about 62 years old when he filmed this movie.
"And aside from all of that, didn't anyone wish to jump into through the TV to punch this smug son of a bitch in his face?" Sean asked as he points to the camera.
(Cut to Watts as we see him watching Frank from the limo. Frank is seen running along side the limo, out of breath and coughing. Watts makes a smug smirk on his face)
"I have the appropriate clip which best describes this guy." Sean said.
(A clip from the show Outmatched is shown)
Leila (Played by Oakley Bull): You're a dick!
(Back to the movie)
Bill Watts: All posts from Watts, we're stopping. Traveler wants to work the ropes. The French president's going with him. Get a security man up here.
(We cut to Booth, who is seen watching Frank through the binoculars)
Sean: (V/O as Booth) Who is this handsome devil?
Sean: (Narrating) Later, paramedics arrive as it turns out that Frank had a heart attack, but actually he was just sleeping on his break. And it turns out that someone has pulled a prank on Frank.
(A comedic drum riff plays in the background)
Frank Horrigan: All right, who was the joker who called those guys?
Lilly Raines: It may not have been a joke. You were looking a bit peaked out there today.
Frank Horrigan: Well, when I find out who it is, I'll pay him back in spades.
Lilly Raines: How can you be sure it was a "him"?
Sean: (V/O as Horrigan) That mischeivous bitch.
Sean: (Narrating) Later, Frank is on the phone with Al until Booth calls him, so it's time to trace the call, but Booth is more clever than that and he mentions his little movie.
Frank Horrigan: Movie?
Booth: (On the phone) November, 1963. Kennedy's last days, the arrival in Texas.
(Footage from the day Kennedy was assassinated is shown and we see digitized images of a younger Frank)
Booth: It must have been exciting for you, Frank. Dallas, that morning at Love Field. You all look so radiant. JFK, Jackie and you. You look so young and able, Frank.
(We then see Kennedy getting assassinated, followed by a clip from The Enforcer, where we see Dirty Harry shooting at some robbers. The clip is followed by a clip from the movie Tightrope, where we see a hooker seducing Detective Wes Block with a sex toy)
Booth: What did happen to you that day? Only one agent reacted to the gunfire and you were closer to Kennedy than he was. You must have looked up at the window of the Texas Book Depository but you didn't react. Late at night, when the demons come, do you see the rifle coming out of that window or do you see Kennedy's head being blown apart? If you'd reacted to that first shot could you have gotten there in time to stop the big bullet? And if you had, that could have been your head being blown apart.
"And as you can tell, this guy Booth is one sick bastard." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) That dude is trying to get into Frank's head and he mentions the Kennedy assassination and how he failed to protect the president. Plus, he mentioned some things about his life like how his wife left him and took their daughter with her and of course his little drinking problem and the fact that he's not to easy to live with.
"And on top of that, I really like how they used digitized images of Clint Eastwood into footages of the Kennedy Assassination." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) I love the fact that they used images of Eastwood from his movies in the 1960s to make it look like he was there. That is pretty impressive for 1993. After Booth ends the call, Frank manages to get the location when the police storm in the house but they get the wrong people who were busy getting freaky with each other in the living room.
"Hell, next door to them, you should've seen the other couple who were on Cops. They were covered in marshmallow fluff and everything. It was sickening." Sean said as a picture of Jefferson D'Arcy and Marcy D'Arcy from Married... With Children is shown next to him.
Sean: (Narrating) Frank and Al head back to the Secret Service to talk to fellow agents Tony Carducci, played by Steve Hytner, and Jack Okura played by Clyde Kusatsu, and they talk about who they're dealing with here and see if they could trace Booth if he calls again and for Frank to keep him on the line that way they can get the guy's location. Back at the White House, Frank plays the recorded audio to Sam, Lilly, Watts and the White House Chief of Staff Harry Sargent, played by Fred Dalton Thompson, and they want him to consider to cancel the president's dinner tomorrow night.
Harry Sargent (Played by Fred Dalton Thompson): The state dinner, at the French embassy? Do you have any idea how long it took for me to line up this trip this close to the election?
Frank Horrigan: This guy's manipulated the phone system. If he has a knowledge of explosives, there could be problems.
Harry Sargent: You guys do your job, there won't be any problems.
Frank Horrigan: It's not that hard to smuggle weapons inside an embassy.
Harry Sargent: You think the French want to knock off the president? Are you nuts? They love him.
Frank Horrigan: Why is it that every chief of staff...
Harry Sargent: You have no reason to believe this guy is any more dangerous than thousands of other people who make idle threats but you want me to alter the itinerary of the world's most powerful man and risk offending 40 million French.
"Well, yeah. Because the French is a nation of cowards." Sean said.
(The audience boos at him and someone shouts at Sean in French)
"Okay, okay, okay, okay. I apologize. The French aren't cowards, but the women in France are sexy. Am I right, guys?" Sean asked.
Harry Sargent: Now, maybe you're overreacting just a little.
Frank Horrigan: I'm just trying to protect your boss, damn it.
Harry Sargent: Yeah, well so am I. We're trailing 12 points in the latest polls. He doesn't get out there, he could be out of a job in six weeks. He's gotta be seen.
"So, you're gonna risk this guy's life for some stupid re-election? Some chief of staff you are. Yeah, let's see what happens when somebody pops him at the dinner. You should've thought about not having him show up." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) We cut to the dinner as we see Frank is keeping an eye out on things, but he has some other stuff on his mind, like trying to hit on a female agent who's half his age.
Frank Horrigan: Agent Raines, you do look devastating tonight.
Lilly Raines: Thank you.
Frank Horrigan: Good enough to eat, I might add, if you'll pardon the expression.
Lilly Raines: You know, every time I start to sympathize with you, you say something that really annoys me.
Frank Horrigan: Why sympathize?
Lilly Raines: The tape of that phone call, when he mentioned your wife.
Frank Horrigan: Ex-wife.
Lilly Raines: At any rate, I'm sorry.
Frank Horrigan: It's strange that the only sympathy I get these days is from a would-be assassin or a woman I tend to annoy.
"Hey, it's like that when I met Taylor before we started dating. I tend to annoy her." Sean said.
(As Lilly walks away, Frank checks her out and Lilly notices)
Lilly Raines: What are you looking at?
Frank Horrigan: I was just wondering where do you hide your firearm?
(Lilly gets ready to answer)
Frank Horrigan: Don't tell me. Let me guess. (Smiles at Lilly)
"Oh, Eastwood is showing some pure pimpdom right there. He was actually checking out that nice ass of hers and he's thinking about how much he wants to plow her right now." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) We then see Booth, played by John Malkovich, as he arrives in Los Angeles to deposit a check into his account and he's using another identity named James Carney and he charms a bank employee named Pam Magnus, played by Patrika Darbo, who might recognize her as Penny Baker from the ABC sitcom Step by Step.
Pam Magnus (Played by Patrika Darbo): What kind of business are you in?
James Carney: Software.
Pam Magnus: Up in San Jose.
James Carney: Yes. Based there, but I'm opening an office here in Los Angeles.
Pam Magnus: I like San Jose. Are you from there?
James Carney: No.
Pam Magnus: Where are you from?
James Carney: Minneapolis.
Pam Magnus: You're kidding. So am I.
James Carney: Wow, it's a small world.
"She also lived in Port Washington, Wisconsin as well." Sean said.
Pam Magnus: What high school did you go to?
James Carney: New Brighton High School.
Pam Magnus: There isn't any New Brighton High School.
James Carney: Hmm. There was when I was there.
"Yeah, the school was a few blocks down right next to Henry Creel High School." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) And speaking of flirting, we get some more of our romantic subplot between Frank and Lilly and even though I joke about the age difference between Clint Eastwood and Rene Russo, the chemistry between the two of them is pretty good. I love the fact that Frank is charming and romantic towards Lilly. You're just waiting for the two of them to get together, even though he's older than her. Plus, I love this scene where Frank and Lilly are sitting on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial and we get an excellent shot of the Washington Monument. I would also like to point out that the cinematography from John Bailey is pretty good as well and this shot of Frank, Lilly and the Washington Monument is one of my favorite shots from the movie. Hell, they even use that shot again at the end of the movie. Christ, this movie is so good.
Lilly Raines: Well, time flies when you're being annoyed.
Frank Horrigan: Where are you going?
Lilly Raines: I have a date.
Frank Horrigan: With whom?
Lilly Raines: That's none of your business. You want a ride?
Frank Horrigan: I don't think so. I like it here this time of day. I'll hang out.
Lilly Raines: Okay. Well, thanks for the ice cream. See you.
Frank Horrigan: You're welcome.
(Lilly leaves while Frank eats his ice cream and watches her)
Frank Horrigan: If she looks back, that means she's interested. Come on now, give me a little look. One little glance back. Give me that smug look and be on your way.
(Lilly glances back at Frank and smiles at him. Frank smiles and waves at Lilly)
"That moment always puts a smile on my face everytime when I watch this movie." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Meanwhile, we shift from a lighthearted scene to a really creepy scene when Booth follows Pam to her home and this is at the point where John Malkovich's character really scares me.
James Carney: I was wondering if you would care to join me for dinner tonight.
Pam Magnus: That's very sweet, but I...
James Carney: And I also wanted to apologize for lying to you this afternoon. We both know that I'm not from Minneapolis.
Pam Magnus: I shouldn't ask so many questions.
James Carney: Did you mention our conversation to anyone at the bank this afternoon?
"Okay, his character should join the Brotherhood of Creepy Villains with Judge Doom, Sykes and Frollo." Sean said.
(Rory the Dog keeps barking as Pam's roommate Sally enters the room)
Sally (Played by Mary Van Arsdel): Pam, what's going on? (Sees Carney) Hi.
Pam Magnus: This is my roommate. Sally, this is Mr. Carney.
James Carney: Jim. Call me Jim. How do you do?
Pam Magnus: Nice to meet you. I was just on my way out.
James Carney: I'm afraid I can't let you ladies leave this evening.
Sally: What?
(Carney closes the door)
James Carney: You shouldn't have been from Minneapolis.
(A clip from Scary Movie is shown)
Shorty (Played by Marlon Wayans): Run, bitch! RUUUUUUNNNN!
(Sally runs over to the phone and Carney chases after her. Pam sees this and starts screaming)
Sean: (Narrating) Booth murders both Pam and her roommate very brutally by snapping their neck like Shao Khan snapping Kung Lao's neck in Mortal Kombat 9. Then, we cut back to Washington D.C. as he calls Frank and joining Frank are the Secret Service agents listening in on their conversation to track this guy down.
Booth: (On the phone) We've got so much in common.
Frank Horrigan: We do? Like what?
Booth: We're both willing to trade our lives for the president. We're both honest and capable men who were betrayed by people we trusted.
Frank Horrigan: I wasn't betrayed, Booth.
Booth: Sure you were, Frank. The Warren Commission's report on the assassination- They called your procedure "seriously deficient." They criticized you and the other agents who were out drinking late the night before as though Kennedy would be alive today if you'd been in bed at 10:00pm. That's ludicrous.
"Hey, Secret Service agents needed to unwind after a long, hard day of protecting the president. So, don't judge him." Sean said.
Frank Horrigan: What about you, Booth? Who betrayed you?
Tony Carducci (Played by Steve Hytner): I don't think he's scrambling it.
Booth: Oh, some of the same people. But I'm gonna get even. I'll have my day in the sun. The question is: Will you have yours?
Jack Okura (Played by Clyde Kusatsu): It's coming.
Booth: You're in for a lot more pain.
Frank Horrigan: (Covers the phone) How much of this shit do I have to listen to?
"He's boring me to death before I even star and direct The Bridges of Madison County." Sean said, imitating Frank.
Sean: (Narrating) They manage to get the location of Booth as Frank and the other Secret Service agents head to the location to where he's at. Booth watches Frank while donning a disguise until Frank spots him and chases after him.
(Horrigan and D'Andrea chase Booth down the streets of Washington. During the chase, Booth jumps in front of a car, which causes the driver to stop. He rolls off the hood of the car and runs away as the bus passes him. Frank and Al then approach the driver of the damaged car)
Frank Horrigan: Secret Service. I'm impounding this car. He put his hand down here. We got fingerprints.
(Frank tries to catch his breath)
Al D'Andrea: You all right, Frank?
"Oh, I'm sure he'll be fine. Either that or he's getting too old for this shit." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) They have the FBI scan for fingerprints and when they come up with a match, it turns out to be a C-12 matter and they can't tell them, And just like people in a certain agency, they cover that shit up to tell them that they've got nothing. So while Frank is out protecting the president during his campaign trail, he asks Al to look for some more investigating. Anyway, the president arrives in Denver for his campaign trail, and then to Michigan...
(A clip from Howard Dean's campaign trail is shown)
Howard Dean: We're going to South Carolina and Oklahoma and Arizona and North Dakota and New Mexico and we're going to California and Texas and New York! And we're going to South Dakota and Oregon and Washington and Michigan! And then we're going to Washington D.C. to take back the White House!
(Dean does his infamous scream)
Sean: (Narrating) But enough about the dude's campaign trail and wanting to yell like Howard Dean, it's time for Frank to put the charm on Lilly when they go to a bar for a drink and for Eastwood to show off his piano playing skills while he regales her with stories about the time he played with Richard Nixon.
Lilly Raines: I heard he didn't like you.
Frank Horrigan: That's not true. We got on all right. It was his chief of staff. Now that was another matter. We were once at a rally up in Boston and he ordered me to get rid of some antiwar protesters. I said I couldn't do that. Freedom of speech, that kind of stuff. He said, "When I'm talking to you, I am the president." And I said, "You look more like a sack of shit in a cheap suit, sir."
"Only Eastwood would have the balls to talk shit to H.B. Halderman. That dude was involved in the Watergate scandal." Sean said.
Lilly Raines: So Horrigan, how come you never wear shades standing post.
Frank Horrigan: I like the wackos to see the whites of my eyes. A good glare can be just as effective as a gun. Know what I mean?
Lilly Raines: Yeah.
Frank Horrigan: Know what I mean?
(Frank glares at Lilly for a moment)
Lilly Raines: (Smiles and looks away) Oh, you got me.
Frank Horrigan: (Imitating Humphrey Bogart) You better stick to the shades, sweetheart.
(Lilly chuckles a bit)
Sean: (V/O as Announcer) Eastwood pimpdom in 3... 2... 1...
(Frank leans in to kiss Lilly, but she turns her head away, her cheek facing him)
Frank Horrigan: Agent Raines, what are you afraid of?
Lilly Raines: Afraid of making a big mistake.
Sean: (V/O as Lilly) You're too old for me, Frank. But I find you so damn irresistable.
Sean: (Narrating) Frank follows Lilly into the elevator and they start making out in a tender, yet romantic scene. And we get some legit funny moments like the elevator stopping on the floor and they bump into Watts and they act like nothing happened. Plus, seeing their clothes and weapons drop to the floor gave me a chuckle.
"God, I feel like I'm watching Police Academy 2. I bet Tackleberry and Kirkland are in the next door to them." Sean said.
(A clip from Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment is shown, featuring a scene where Kirkland and Tackleberry are about to make love for the first time and they throw their weapons on the floor. This scene is shown next to Frank and Lilly's love scene. Afterwards, Kirkland throws her gun down on the floor and turns the light off. The room is dark and a gun goes off)
Kirkland (Played by Colleen Camp): Oh, Eugene!
(Cut back to the movie, Frank and Lilly are about to make love until the phone starts ringing)
Sean: (Narrating) Their lovemaking is interrupted by Watts calling Lilly to tell her that she's needed down at communications because of a rally going on in Atlanta, so they're not heading to Milwaukee.
Lilly Raines: (As she picks up her clothes and weapons) Damn. Oh, dear. What am I doing? (Enters the bathrooms as she drops one of her shoes on her foot) Shit. Ow. Oh, boy.
Frank Horrigan: Ah, Lilly. Damn. I gotta put all that shit back on, goddamn it.
"Now what am I going to do since I can't plow Lilly? My Viagra is about to wear off. Maybe there's some softcore porn playing on TV. Maybe I can think about plowing her while watching the movie." Sean said, imitating Frank.
Sean: (Narrating) The campaign continues as they fly down to Chicago, but before they land, Frank and Lilly talk about her past relationship with a guy.
Frank Horrigan: So you had an affair with an agent, and it came out badly.
Lilly Raines: He wasn't an agent.
Frank Horrigan: But he left you because you wouldn't quit your job. You were brokenhearted.
Lilly Raines: I left him because I wouldn't quit my job for him. And it did break my heart.
"Besides, the dude was too crazy for her." Sean said as a picture of Riggs from Lethal Weapon is shown.
Frank Horrigan: What would happen if I gave up my job for you?
Lilly Raines: Why would you do that?
Frank Horrigan: Well, maybe I vowed to never again let my career come between me and a woman.
"Besides, I hate running alongside limousines and I'm getting too old for this job." Sean said, imitating Frank.
Sean: (Narrating) They arrive in Chicago for the campaign event and with Frank being sick, he keeps an eye out on things until the president arrives on stage and the crowd of reporters crowding the president and Frank, this happens.
(Frank hears a gunshot)
Frank Horrigan: Gun!
(Watts and the other Secret Service agents run over to the president to keep him covered while the crowd freaks out)
"Shit! Take cover!" Sean yelled out as he ducks for cover.
(Frank sees that it's just a balloon being popped)
Frank Horrigan: I'm all clear. False alarm.
Sean immediately gets up from off of the floor. "It was just a false alarm? Oh, thank god. I thought it was people trying to kill me for reviewing Jurassic Park."
Sean: (Narrating) That little false alarm was a balloon being popped by Booth just to makeFrank overreact. And because of this little mishap, Sargent isn't too happy.
Harry Sargent: The president came off looking like a coward on national television.
Frank Horrigan: I thought he came off all right. You were the one who came off looking like a damn coward.
Harry Sargent: This is just a joke to you?
Frank Horrigan: No, you're a joke to me, Harry. You have no idea what we do around here.
Bill Watts: That's enough, Horrigan!
Harry Sargent: You call me Harry one more time, you'll be busting counterfeiters in Alaska. You keep him away from the president, away from the White House and you sure as hell better keep him away from me!
"Now it you'll excuse me, I'm needed on the set of Baby's Day Out." Sean said, imitating Harry.
Bill Watts: You don't talk to the White House chief of staff like that!
Frank Horrigan: I don't work for him.
Bill Watts: No, you work for me. At least you did. You're off my detail.
"Now, I mean it was an honest mistake. He overreacted. Hell, the dude was groggy with the flu and he mistakes the sound of a balloon popping for a gunshot. How can somebody make a mistake like that?" Sean asked.
A balloon pops in the other room as Sean shrieks out loud like a girl before ducking for cover, mistaking the sound for a gunshot. Taylor enters the living room and she sees her boyfriend on the floor as she rolled her eyes and sighed a bit.
"Sean, that was just a balloon that I accidentally popped. Nobody's trying to kill you." Taylor said.
"I knew that. I was just showing an example." Sean said as he gets up from off of the floor and sits back down on the couch and turns his attention to the camera. "Continue."
Sean: (Narrating) Lilly tries to comfort Frank in his time of need, but he's not in the mood and he won't apologize for doing his job and she mentions to him that Wilder told her about the incident with Kennedy's girlfriend caught in the White House and Frank safeguarding his dignity by telling them that she was with him.
Frank Horrigan: Well, that was different. He was different.
Lilly Raines: Maybe you were different.
Frank Horrigan: I was different. The whole damn country was different. Everything would be different right now too if I'd been half as paranoid as I am today. (Throws his tissue down on the floor) Fuck.
"Don't you just love it when Clint Eastwood curses. Saying the F-word in his 60s. Don't worry, you'll hear more colorful metaphors from him." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Frank talks to Sam about wanting to continue on with the Booth investigation. So Sam agrees, but he won't put Frank in protective detail because of what happened back in Chicago.
Frank Horrigan: That thing in Chicago- I just don't understand. I've never been on the wrong side of a judgment call like that.
Sam Campagna: You had the flu, for Christ's sake. It's been known to impare judgment. Face it, Frank. You're too old for this shit.
(A Lethal Weapon-style saxaphone riff plays in the background While the "I'm Too Old For This Shit Counter" pops up)
"Ah, ah, ah! We're not doing that anymore! Jeez, Martin Crane says this line to Eastwood and the counter pops up." Sean said.
(We cut to Frank sitting in a bar playing piano. While he's doing that and unknown to him, Booth is seen outside watching Frank)
"Oh, yeah. That's not creepy enough." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Booth calls Frank to check up on him after making him freak out over a balloon popping in Chicago and to see if he's still playing his little game.
Booth: Watching the president, I couldn't help wondering why a man like you would risk his life to save a man like that. You have such a strange job. I can't decide if it's heroic or absurd.
Frank Horrigan: Now, why would a man like you risk his life to kill a man like that?
"Yeah, why kill the president? I'm pretty sure that you have your reasons. Now, if it was Donald Trump, then I can understand. Hell, we can all understand." Sean said.
Booth: Everyone dies. Some die because they deserve to. Others die simply because they come from Minneapolis. It's random, and it's meaningless.
Frank Horrigan: Well, if none of this means anything, then why kill the president?
Booth: To punctuate the dreariness.
Frank Horrigan: It sounds to me like you need to get yourself laid, Booth.
Booth: You're the same as me, Frank. Name one thing in your life that has any meaning.
Frank Horrigan: I play the piano.
Booth: That's not enough.
"I write dirty fanfiction. Right now, I'm working on a Cruel Summer one-shot involving Megan and Isabella. Is that enough for you, Booth?" Sean asked, imitating Frank.
Sean: (Narrating) Al visits Frank later on that night to tell him that he has found a lead from a model-building magazine and they go talk to Professor Riger, played by John Heard, who tells them about Booth.
Professor Riger (Played by John Heard): We ordered a few rounds of drinks at a hotel bar. He seemed like a nice enough guy. But when the talk turned to politics, he took on a real nasty edge. He said he felt betrayed by the government and he wanted to exact some measure of revenge. I mean, the way he said it scared the shit out of me.
"I think we know how Peter McCallister can afford this house and a vacation to Paris for 9 people. Hell, his other job is being a corrupt police detective." Sean said, referencing The Sopranos as a picture of Tony Soprano and Vin Makazian is shown in the top right corner.
Sean: (Narrating) Professor Riger tells them that Booth is from Phoenix and he send them to a guy in Phoenix named Walter Wickland, played by Alan Toy respectively. Frank and Al show him a composite sketch of Booth and he identifies him as Mitch Leary, which is his real name, and he tells them what a crazy son of a bitch he is.
Walter Wickland (Played by Alan Toy): (Pulls out a gun) See this?
Al D'Andrea: Whoa, take it easy now.
Walter Wickland: This is in case he ever comes back. He accused me of ripping off one of his model designs. Said my penalty for disloyalty was death. You put him away, let me know. I'll sleep better.
Frank Horrigan: You got any idea where we can find him?
Walter Wickland: Yeah, I think I might have his address around here somewhere.
Sean: (Narrating) Wickland gives Frank and Al the address to Leary's home and they head inside, only for them to be ambushed by a guy with a gun. Frank manages to bring the guy down with his nightstick until another man enters the house and he identifies himself as CIA agent David Coppinger, played by Steve Railsback.
Frank Horrigan: Who are you here for, Leary or me?
David Coppinger (Played by Steve Railsback): Mr, Leary used to be one of our operatives.
Frank Horrigan: You know he's threatened to kill the president.
David Coppinger: We didn't think he was serious till you turned up that fingerprint.
Frank Horrigan: But you knew, you and the FBI.
David Coppinger: I understand your frustration.
Frank Horrigan: You understand my frustration? You pompous son of a bitch! What the fuck did Leary do for you anyway? Run coke for the Contras? Sell arms to Iran?
"Which is what the CIA did in real life. You have the CIA running cocaine for the Contras during the Nicaraguan civil war in the 1980s and selling arms to Iran during the Iran-Contra affair from 1985 to 1987." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Coppinger tells them that this is a C-12 matter and this is off the record and Leary used to work for the CIA as an assassin. And we cut to Leary, who's busy doing some target practice with his new gun as two hunters who were busy doing some duck hunting approach him.
Hunter #1 (Played by Walt McPherson): Was that you shooting?
Mitch Leary: Yes.
Hunter #1: The hell kind of gun is that?
Mitch Leary: Something I made.
"And yet, these two hunters are dumb enough to be around that guy. You two idiots realize that he's going to kill you, right?" Sean asked.
Hunter #2 (Played by Robert Peters): Would you be interested in selling it, would ya?
Mitch Leary: (As he reloads his composite pistol) No, I need it.
Hunter #2: For what?
Mitch Leary: To assassinate the president.
(The hunters start laughing while Leary gives them a serious look before they stop laughing)
Hunter #2: Why would you want to do that, mister?
Mitch Leary: Why did you kill that bird, asshole?
(Leary shoots and kills the two hunters)
"The only thing missing here is the dog from Duck Hunt to pop out and start laughing at them." Sean said.
(Cut back to the scene where Leary kills the two hunters, then the dog from Duck Hunt pops up and starts laughing)
Sean: (Narrating) Meanwhile, Coppinger shows Frank and Al photos of Leary and he tells them that he was one of their most effective contractors and because of some changes being made, Leary couldn't adjust to civilian life and they've been looking for him ever since. And they show him a picture of one of Leary's colleagues who he killed. And we get to see how people do photo alterations on computer in 1993 to track down someone. Later, Al breaks the news to Frank that he's resigning after having nightmares about the Mendoza incident.
Frank Horrigan: Stop this cockamamie shit now, will you? Come on, pal, I need you. Please.
Al D'Andrea. Okay, Frank. Okay.
"Besides, nothing bad's going to happen to you. It's not like you're going to get shot in the head or something." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) The next day, Leary calls Frank and we get one of the greatest moments of the movie and probably one of the best phone scenes ever.
Frank Horrigan: Why is it everyone who ever knew you said that you're a sick son of a bitch? Your colleagues, your wife.
Mitch Leary: What does your wife say about you?
Frank Horrigan: Oh, we're not talking about me.
Mitch Leary: Frank, you of all people, I want you to understand.
Frank Horrigan: Why should I understand?
Mitch Leary: We both used to think that this country was a very special place!
Frank Horrigan: You don't know what I used to think.
Mitch Leary: But you know about me? Do you have any idea what I've done for God and country? Some pretty fucking horrible things! I don't even remember who I was before they sunk their claws into me.
"I'm pissed off that I didn't win an Academy Award for my performance in this film and yet this guy wins Best Supporting Actor?" Sean asked, imitating Mitch while a picture of Tommy Lee Jones as Two-Face is shown.
Frank Horrigan: What do you see when you're in the dark and the demons come?
Mitch Leary: I see you, Frank. I see you standing over the grave of another dead president.
(Cut to footage from the teaser trailer of the movie as Frank hangs up the phone and picks up his gun before looking at the camera)
Frank Horrigan: That's not gonna happen.
(A clip from The Bold & the Beautiful is shown)
Ridge Forrester (Played by Ronn Moss): THAT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN, RICK! IT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN!
(A clip from The Hangover is shown)
Phil (Played by Bradley Cooper): Yeah... that's not gonna happen.
(A clip from Bluey is shown)
Stripe (Voiced by Dan Brumm): Yeah, that's not gonna happen, mate.
(A clip from Scrubs is shown)
Turk (Played by Donald Faison): (Sings while playing the tambourine) Not gonna happen! No, not gonna happen! Ha ha!
Mitch Leary: I have a rendezvous with death. Oh, and so does the president. And so do you, Frank, if you get to close to me.
Frank Horrigan: You have a rendezvous with my ass, motherfucker!
Mitch Leary: Frank, do you know how easily I could kill you, Frank? Do you know how many times I've watched you go in and out of that apartment? You're alive because I have allowed you to live. So you show me some (Yells) GODDAMN RESPECT!
(A clip from Space Force)
Dr. Adrian Mallory (Played by John Malkovich): (Yells) FUCK MICROSOFT! FUCK!
Sean: (Narrating) They managed to track down Leary's location and Frank and Al spot Leary as they chase him in a very exciting chase scene. Plus, you get to see that Eastwood's still got it in his 60s while you see him jumping across from rooftop to rooftop, even though you see his obvious stunt double, and the chase ends with Frank hanging onto to the edge of the roof and we get this very tense moment between him and Leary.
Mitch Leary: Take my hand, Frank. Take it. You don't, you'll die. Take it.
(Frank grabs Leary's hand and points his gun at him)
Mitch Leary: You're going to shoot me, Frank, after I saved your life?
(Al tries to get a shot at Leary, but can't get a clear shot)
Al D'Andrea: Shit!
Mitch Leary: The only way to save the president is to shoot me. Are you willing to do that? To trade your life for his? Or is life too precious?
(Leary puts the gun into his mouth)
"Fun fact: John Malkovich improvised this scene. Wolfgang Peterson liked it so much that he kept it in the movie. Plus, you could see that little moment where Malkovich is smiling with the gun in his mouth. Apparently, Eastwood started laughing off camera. If there was a blooper reel for this movie, then I would laugh my ass off from watching it." Sean said.
(Leary swings Horrigan to a fire escape just as Al confronts him)
Al D'Andrea: Leary, don't fucking move!
(Leary sees Al and holds his hand up)
Al D'Andrea: Frank, I got him.
(Leary and Al shoot at each other. Frank looks up at the other roof to see if Al is alright)
Frank Horrigan: Al? Al?!
(Al falls on the edge of the roof. He is seen shot and killed by Leary. Leary fires another round into Al as blood pours from out of his mouth)
"Jesus Christ! Dang, so much for having the partner live. He should've resigned in the first place." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Frank mourns the death of his partner while looks at a fax with the name S.W. Skellum in L.A., and guess who calls him.
Mitch Leary: It's late in the game, and you're way behind, Frank.
Frank Horrigan: I'm way ahead. Look Leary, I know what you look like. I've seen your eyes.
Mitch Leary: My eyes might look different next time.
Frank Horrigan: Not what's behind them won't. You better pray I don't find you, you prick.
Mitch Leary: "Pray"? What, do you want to kill me, Frank?
Frank Horrigan: That's right.
Mitch Leary: The irony is so thick you could choke on it.
Frank Horrigan: There's no fucking irony, Mitch!
Mitch Leary: Think. The same government that trained me to kill, trained you to protect. Yet now you want to kill me, while up on that roof I protected you. They're gonna write books about us, Frank.
"It's gonna be a best seller when people read it." Sean said, imitating Mitch.
Mitch Leary: Do you really have the guts to take a bullet, Frank?
Frank Horrigan: Well, I'll be thinking about that when I'm pissing on your grave!
"You just made the biggest mistake of making him go Full Eastwood. Never make Clint Eastwood go Full Eastwood." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) The next day, Sam talks to Harry and asks him to keep the president out of California, but he won't listen because he's the chief of staff and California is the key to the election and he won't listen the reason.
Frank Horrigan: We'll have to change our procedures. Move him around in unmarked cars. Frisk everyone within 50 yards.
Harry Sargent: Frisk people going into $10,000-a-plate dinners? You're overreacting again, Horrigan.
Frank Horrigan: If I don't overreact, the president's dead.
Harry Sargent: (To Watts) Why is he even here? I told you to keep him away from me.
Sam Campagna: Frank's heading this investigation.
Harry Sargent: Well, then let him investigate. As long as he doesn't come within sight of the president. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm in the middle of a campaign here.
"Boy, I would love to see Eastwood punch Fred Dalton Thompson in the face. because his character is the biggest asshole throughout this movie. Anybody agree with me?" Sean asked.
Sean: (Narrating) Frank talks to Lilly later on and asks her to talk to Watts about putting him on her advance team to protect the president in case Leary shows up.
Lilly Raines: You think he'll be in California?
Frank Horrigan: Yes.
Lilly Raines: Why would he tip his hand like that?
Frank Horrigan: He want to keep the game close. He'll be there. This has nothing to do with you and me. Strictly professional. But that son of a bitch killed my partner, my friend.
Lilly Raines: I know. I'm sorry.
"And yet, there was no funeral for him. Way to treat Al like crap, movie. You kill him off and yet we don't see a funeral or Frank telling his wife that her husband was killed in the line of duty. They just shrug that shit off." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Frank and the other Secret Service agents arrive in Los Angeles, where the rally is being held at the Bonaventure Hotel, and we see master assassin Leary putting on his disguise to fly to California as James Carney and have a rendezvous with the president in a montage with the Secret Service agents going all out and Leary arriving in L.A. and getting everything set up to kill the president. Oh, yeah. Frank beats up on a bellboy
(Frank beats up on the bellboy)
"Damn it, Frank. I'm sure that there are no repercussions for his actions." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Meanwhile, Leary meets up with the Chairman of the California Victory Fund Sanford Riggs, played by the late William G, Schilling, and Frank asks him some questions.
Frank Horrigan: Do you know everyone who's attending this dinner personally?
Sanford Riggs (Played by William G. Schilling): I sure do.
Frank Horrigan: How about these pictures here? Any of them look familiar?
Sean: (V/O) Uh, dude. He's right in front of you. Look over to his table and look at his face. What is this, An American Tail. He's right there!
"Well, if he catches him now, then we won't have a thrilling climax." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Watts calls Lilly about Frank's actions, which was on TV and he wants Frank off the detail once again, and Lilly breaks the news to him about him going to San Diego before the president arrives and we get this powerful, yet emotional moment from Clint Eastwood and it happens to be another one of my favorite scenes.
Frank Horrigan: You know something? For years I've been listening to all these idiots on bar stools with all their pet theories on Dallas. How it was the Cubans or the CIA or the white supremacists or the mob or whether it was one weapon or whether it was five. None of that's meant too much to me. But Leary- He questioned whether I had the guts to take that fatal bullet. God, that was a beautiful day. The sun was out. Had been raining all morning. The air was- The first shot sounded like a firecracker. I looked over and I saw him. I-I could tell he was hit. I don't know why I didn't react. I should have reacted. I should have been running flat-out. I just couldn't believe it. If only I reacted, I could have taken that shot. That would have been all right with me.
"I've got nothing to say, that was a pretty powerful scene." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) You can see that Frank is still reeling about the death of President Kennedy and how he failed to protect him. Which is why he would do whatever it takes to save the president. Hell, he would be willing to take a bullet for the president, even if it will cost him his life. And I really enjoy Eastwood's acting in this scene. Anyway, Horrigan is dropped off at the airport by Agent Chavez, played by a young Joshua Malina, before he starred in the ABC show Scandal and getting whacked in the face by Sam Puckett's butter sock in an episode of iCarly. But before Frank could hop on the plane to San Diego, he makes a discovery about S.W. Skellum. Turns out that S.W. is Southwest Savings. So he heads down there and he connects Leary to Pam Magnus' murder. Also, Leary has made some several large campaign contributions. And with the president arriving, Leary heads down to prepare for the president making his appearance at the campaign dinner.
(Leary stops putting his gun together underneath the table and stands as he sees the president. He sits back down in his seat and takes out two bullet that were hidden in his rabbit's foot keychain. He put one in and he ends up dropping the other on the floor)
"Whoops. You failed miserably." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) And now it's a race against time as Frank arrives at the hotel to grab a fax from Southwest Savings to find the name James Carney along with the list of names and the seating chart. With Leary getting ready to assassinate the president right when he approaches him, Frank spots him and he jumps into action.
(Horrigan spots Leary and runs over to the president)
Frank Horrigan: Gun!
(Leary points his gun at the president, but Horrigan jumps in the path of the assassin's bullet, saving the president's life)
"YES! HE TOOK THE BULLET! IN THE LINE OF FIRE, LITERALLY!" Sean yelled out. 'WHOOO!"
Sean: (Narrating) Boy, talk about a pretty epic scene right there. Props to Eastwood pulling that stunt off in the movie. Ennio Morricone's music, the intensity, the cinematography. That's what made this scene pretty epic.
"And of course, the only casualty here is that poor chef who got knocked down by the Secret Service agents." Sean said.
(We cut to a scene where Watts knocks down a chef while him and the other Secret Service agents escort the president out)
Sean: (Narrating) That poor guy. He was busy cooking up some food in the kitchen and he gets knocked down.
Sean: (V/O as Chef) Where's the lamb sau... (As he gets knocked down by Watts) AAAAAAAAAHHHHH!
Sean: (Narrating) Leary holds Frank hostage in an elevator and he takes time to talk to him while the sharpshooters take aim at the glass elevator. But Frank has a clever plan.
Frank Horrigan: (While wearing an earpiece and talks to Lilly, making it look like he's talking to Leary) Go ahead and shoot. Come on, damn it.
Lilly Raines: Frank, are you talking to me?
Frank Horrigan: Well, what are you waiting for?
Mitch Leary: What am I waiting for? I'm waiting for you to show me some goddamn gratitude. Without me, you'd still just be another sad-eyed, piano-playing drunk. I brought you into this game. I let you keep up with me. I made you a goddamn hero today.
Frank Horrigan: You didn't make me anything.
Mitch Leary: I redeemed your pathetic, shitty life.
Frank Horrigan: I just did my job. You're the one with the fucking pathetic life.
"Like I said to you, Leary. You need to get laid." Sean said, imitating Frank.
Mitch Leary: I want you to thank me first, Frank.
Frank Horrigan: Shut up and shoot.
Lilly Raines: All right, Frank.
Mitch Leary: All right, Frank.
Lilly Raines: Shooters, stand by to fire. Wait for my command.
Mitch Leary: Sleep well, my friend.
Frank Horrigan: Just one thing: Aim high.
Mitch Leary: What?
Lilly Raines: Aim high.
(Leary realizes that Frank is giving Lilly the command to open fire)
Frank Horrigan: Now.
Mitch Leary: You bastard!
(The shooters open fire, shooting out the windows)
Sean: (V/O as Leary) Oh, great! Now I got glass all over me! Now I'm gonna look like the bad guy from Die Another Day, Frank!
(Frank and Leary fight in the elevator)
Sean: (Narrating) Frank and Leary fight in the elevator and Frank punches him and sends him out hanging onto the edge of the elevator and he tries to pull him up to safety.
Frank Horrigan: Take my hand. If you don't you'll die.
Mitch Leary: You want to save me, Frank?
Frank Horrigan: To be honest and fair with you, no. But it's my job.
Sean: (V/O as Leary) Well, now that you think about it, maybe I will... PSYCHE!
(Leary let's go of the edge and falls to his death)
Sean: (Narrating) Leary falls to his death and Frank is hailed a hero for saving the president's life and the chief of staff tries to kiss Frank's ass, even though he's been an asshole towards him throughout the movie.
Harry Sargent: Frank! (Gets ready to shake Frank's hand)
Frank Horrigan: Guess I overreacted again, huh, Harry?
"Would've been better if he decked him in the face. I would've been satisfied with that." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Frank returns home and announces his retirement from the Secret Service because he's getting too old for this shit and he invites Lilly to his apartment and he gets a farewell message from Leary on his answering machine to commend him on his character.
Mitch Leary: (On the answering machine) Hello, Frank. By the time you hear this, it'll be over. The president is most likely dead and so am I. I wonder, Frank, did you kill me? Who won our game? Not that it matters. For among friends, like you and me it's not whether you win or lose, but how you play the game. And now that the game is done, it's time to get on with your life. But I worry that you have no life to get on with, Frank. You're a good man and good men, like you and me, are destined to travel the lonely road. Good-bye and good luck.
"Well, that was nice of him. He left him a little message before he died and if he succeeded his plan. And he commended Frank too, now that's a good sport." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) And the film ends with Frank and Lilly sitting on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial with Frank living his life.
"And that was In the Line of Fire and it's still one of the best thrillers ever made." Sean said.
(Clips from the movie are shown once more)
Sean: (Narrating) This film is perfect. It still has some moments in it, but it's still a perfect film. The acting is great, Wolfgang Petersen's direction is also pretty good, the plot, the music, the cinematography, still pretty good. You can see why this film holds a special place in my heart and why it's one of my favorite Eastwood movies of all time. It's hard to make fun of this movie because of how much I love it, but my god, it's still amazing. It's a tense thriller for all of you suspense movie fans out there and I recommend it. If you happen to come across this film on TV or if you happen to order the Blu-Ray from Amazon, then go ahead and check it out. In the Line of Fire gets 5 Secret Service agents out of 5.
"I'm Sean the Mayhem Critic and I'll see you guys next time." Sean said as he gets up from off of the couch and leaves the room.
Mayhem Critic Tagline- What do you see when you're in the dark and the demons come?
And another review finished, and just in time for the movie's 30th anniversary. I hope that you all enjoyed this chapter. Boy, I finished this review quick. What were your thoughts about the movie In the Line of Fire? I would love to hear about them. Next time on The Mayhem Critic, I got a request from someone to review the Honey, I Shrunk the Kids franchise, so I'd figure I review the first film in the franchise. Anyway, Sean the Mayhem Critic reviews the 1989 Sci-Fi comedy Honey, I Shrunk the Kids to see why this movie was a hit and why it's not an exploding apple. Then after that review, the next movie up is Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Don't forget to review this story, add it to your favorites and follow it for future updates. If you have any requests for a movie for me to review or if you want to do a co-review with me, feel free to PM me or write it in the reviews section. I'll see you guys next time. Till next time, my fellow readers.