The Mayhem Critic
Aloha, my fellow readers. It is I, the great James Stryker and I am here to bring you another great chapter of The Mayhem Critic. Today, it's time for another Top 11 Countdown when Sean the Mayhem Critic take a look at some of the best music scores of all time. Which ones made the list? Which ones are most memorable? Which ones are iconic? There's a lot to choose from so let's not waste any time. So sit back, relax and enjoy the new chapter of The Mayhem Critic.
P.S.: I do not own anything involved in this story. All rights and references belong to their respective sources.
Episode 189
The Top 11 Kick-Ass Movie Themes
(The Mayhem Critic intro is shown)
After the intro ends, we open with our favorite residential movie critic, Sean J. Archer a.k.a. the Mayhem Critic, sitting on his couch in his living room as he prepares to talk about the topic of today's show.
"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. I'm Sean the Mayhem Critic, the critic that rips movies a new one." Sean said. "Let's talk about music."
(The track "Escape" by Warner/Chappell plays in the background during a montage of clips from different movies)
Sean: (Narrating) Music is the best part of the movie. It literally tells the story. It adds so much. Without music in a movie, it would be really dull. I mean, take a look at what happens when you watch a movie and there's no music playing.
(A clip from Superman: The Movie is shown. The only background is Superman flying around Metropolis)
"Yeah, how boring and lame is that. Now, let's play the same clip with some music to it." Sean said.
(The same scene from Superman: The Movie is shown once more, this time the Superman theme by John Williams plays in the background)
"Now, that makes a big difference." Sean said.
("Escape" continues to play during the montage of clips from different movies)
Sean: (Narrating) There are so many great themes that makes us scream and shout with joy. And that's why I'm going to take a look at the Top 11 Awesome Movie Themes. What qualifies as awesome? Well, it's the kind of music that's really kick-ass and it makes you want to jump out of your seat and yell out, "YEAH, BABY!"
"And you have to yell out like Ash Williams from Army of Darkness. That's very important. YEAH, BABY! So sit back, relax and grab a cold one to drink, this is the Top 11 Awesome... wait, scratch that. The Top 11 Kick-Ass Movie Themes. PLAY ME OFF, BUGS!" Sean exclaimed.
(A clip from the Looney Tunes short Long-Haired Hare is shown. Bugs Bunny, disguised as conductor Leopold Stokowski, directs Giovanni Jones to sing a prolonged high G note, which causes the stage shell to collapse in on him. Bugs stops conducting and takes a bow as the audience applauds and the count down for The Top 11 Kick-Ass Movie Themes begin. This will serve as the interlude)
Number 11: Halloween
Sean: (Narrating) Okay, so this was going to be a toss-up between this one and the Nightmare on Elm Street theme. Depending on which theme is creepy or eerie, so I figure this one because this theme has some legitimate creepy moments. Whenever I hear this theme playing, I think of Michael Myers stalking teens and killing them or walking around Haddonfield.
"YEAH, BABY! You're about to die!" Sean exclaimed.
Sean: (Narrating) Director John Carpenter also wrote the score for the movie and it is awesome. Yeah, it sounds familiar to The Fog's theme music. With the quick tempo and the violin that play during the theme, it gives the theme a sharper edge. What I love about this theme are the different renditions of the theme. You have the John Carpenter/Alan Howarth version of the theme for Halloween II, which added synthesizers.
(The theme from Halloween II plays in the background)
Sean: (Narrating) My favorite renditions of the Halloween theme would have to be Halloween II, Alan Howarth's version of the theme in Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers, John Ottman's version for Halloween H20, which is really good and of course the 2018 version of Halloween and it got a major upgrade.
(The intro to the 2018 version of Halloween is shown while the theme music composed by John Carpenter, Cody Carpenter and Daniel Davies plays in the background)
"YEAH, BABY! Look at that pumpkin forming. That means Halloween is back, baby!" Sean exclaimed.
Sean: (Narrating) Now, I was going to mention the theme for Halloween III: Season of the Witch, but it doesn't have Michael Myers in it and it's not the same without the Halloween theme. Depending on which version of the theme is your favorite, you better make sure that you watch your back after you're finished trick or treating.
(Interlude)
Number 10: Shaft
(The Shaft theme plays along to clips from various movies)
Sean: (Narrating) Okay, okay, okay. Technically, it's a song. But, man! Nothing screams out "Bad-Ass Ladies Man" like John Shaft, and this is the best theme to accompany him with. Just admit it, there are times in your life when you're walking down the street and suddenly, this iconic theme starts playing in your head.
(A clip from Shaft is shown, where we see John Shaft walking down the streets of New York City)
Sean: (Narrating) It's smooth, it's sexy, it's funky, it gets you pumped up for action. I love this theme so much because it's a straight-up way of saying "I'm the smoothest son of a bitch in the world. Johnny Sins ain't got shit on me!" It's great because we also come to my favorite part of the song.
Isaac Hayes: (Sings) Who's the black private dick that's a sex machine to all the chicks?
Female Singers: (Sings) Shaft!
Isaac Hayes: You damn right. (Sings) Who is the man that would risk his neck for his brother, man?
Female Singers: (Sings) Shaft!
Isaac Hayes: Can you dig it?
Sean: (Narrating) Man, it's the perfect song that would get you pumped up or maybe you can get a little action from your woman in the bedroom to show her how much of a sex machine you are in bed.
"Oh, what? Like you never had sex with your fiancee while playing the Shaft theme in the bedroom. Don't judge me." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) An awesome song for the black private dick who's a bad mother...
Female Singers: Shut your mouth!
"Hey, I'm talking about Shaft." Sean said.
Female Singers: We can dig it.
(Interlude)
Number 9: The Avengers
(Clips from The Avengers movies are shown)
Sean: (Narrating) Hell, yeah. Earth's mightiest heroes get the epic theme music that they deserve, And don't think that I was going to leave it off the list because if I did, then you MCU fanboys would kill me. And you know some, this theme has some awesome kick-ass moments. Like when they're fighting Loki and his army in New York.
(A clip from The Avengers is shown, where we see them fighting Loki's army)
"YEAH, BABY! I'm going to New York!" Sean yelled out.
Sean: (Narrating) Or how about when Thor joins the battle in Wakanda?
(A clip from Avengers: Infinity War is shown where we see Thor, Groot and Rocket Raccoon arriving in Wakanda as Captain America, Black Widow, Black Panther and Bruce Banner sees them)
Dr. Bruce Banner (Played by Mark Ruffalo): (Laughs) You guys are so screwed now!
Sean: (Narrating) But, by far, the best is from Avengers: Endgame, when we see our heroes assemble to face off against Thanos. Right when Captain America, Iron Man and Thor were getting theitr asses kicked by Thanos. Suddenly, you see Black Panther, Spider-Man, Falcon, Doctor Strange, the Guardians of the Galaxy and everyone stepping out of the portal to join in on the fight for one epic final battle. Man, this is the type of music you would want to hear in a movie like that.
(The Avengers theme plays once more)
Sean: (Narrating) It's big and bombastic it always gets a big cheer whenever it's heard and it's one of those moments that would make you stand up and cheer. It's big, it's epic and it continues to be one of composer Alan Silvestri's greatest works.
(Interlude to next entry)
Number 8: Mission: Impossible
(Clips from Mission: Impossible is shown while the theme plays)
Sean: (Narrating) Okay, I know what you're gonna say: "Sean. that's a theme from an old television show from the sixties.". Yeah, I know. Originally it's a TV theme and it had a good beat to it, but when the movie came out...
(The Adam Clayton & Larry Mullen (U2) mix of the Mission: Impossible theme starts playing)
Sean: (Narrating) Man, talk about a major upgrade! This is the reason why I come back to this movie just to watch the end credits and hear that version of the theme playing. Now, there are two mixes in the movie. You have the Danny Elfman mix.
(The theme composed by Danny Elfman plays during the opening credits)
Sean: (Narrating) And you have the Adam Clayton and Larry Mullen of U2 mix that plays during the end credits.
(The music video for the Clayton/Mullen mix is shown)
Sean: (Narrating) Yeah, when you hear that theme playing, you know some stuff's gonna go down. Well, pretty confusing stuff. I'll explain in a future review.
(Clips from various Mission: Impossible movies are shown)
Sean: (Narrating) You also have various versions of the theme that I like. You have Michael Giacchino's version of the theme from Mission: Impossible 3 and 4, Joe Kraemer's version from Mission: Impossible 5 and Lorne Balfe's version from Mission: Impossible: Fallout. Hell, even a film as goofy and over-the-top as Mission: Impossible 2, it did give us a kick-ass version of the theme by Hans Zimmer. Yes, I said it. So sue me. Plus, I like Limp Bizkit's version of the theme mostly because of the awesome guitar work. This is one mission that you would choose to accept.
(Interlude)
Number 7: Indiana Jones
(Clips from the Indiana Jones movies are shown while the theme starts playing)
Sean: (Narrating) Yes, America's favorite fedora-wearing globetrotter is making it on the list. The theme is positive and upbeat and it gets the hype going. Any time that theme pops up, you know that Indiana Jones is traveling to a different country and exploring dangerous trap-filled temples and looking for the greatest treasure of all time while facing off againts Nazis and other enemies. The theme puts me in a good mood every time I hear it. It's a theme that ranges from wildly adventurous to romantic. It was also a theme that was nominated for an Oscar for Best Original Score. I can think of some kick-ass moments for the theme to pop up, and my favorite would have to be the truck chase scene from Raiders of the Lost Ark. You're put in a good mood whenever you hear this tune and it gets you revved up.
(Interlude)
Number 6: Terminator 2: Judgment Day
(Clips from Terminator 2: Judgment Day are shown while the theme plays throughout the montage)
Sean: (Narrating) Yeah, gone are composer Brad Fiedel's synthesized riffs of the 1980s, only to be replaced by Brad Fiedel's orchestral score of the 1990s and it is perfect. Also, I wanted to hear those five notes play.
(The five notes plays)
"YEAH, BABY! I am so hyped!" Sean exclaimed.
Sean: (Narrating) Not only that, Fiedel just plays those same five beats over and over again at the end of the opening credits.
(The opening credits zoom in on a burning T-800, as well as Sean banging his fists on the table with those notes)
(Clips from The Terminator and Terminator 2: Judgment Day are shown)
Sean: (Narrating) As for the theme from the first film, I really enjoyed it since I'm a sucker for synthesizers and Brad Fiedel used it for the the movie, but when the second film came out, this is where stuff got bigger. You have hard-hitting drums that emulate the sound of war engulfing our ears, and it leads to a grand choir who's voices sound like pained cries and the clanging of metal mixed into the soundtrack, which grows more frequent and louder as the rise of the machines draw near.
"Yeah, let's listen to those five notes once more." Sean said.
(Those five notes are played once more)
Sean: (Narrating) This is the theme that got a major upgrade from the last film. Okay, play it one more time.
(The five notes are played one more time while Sean bangs his fists on the table)
(Interlude)
Number 5: Back to the Future
Sean: (Narrating) Yeah, Alan Silvestri can't stay away from this list because this is a theme that I really gotta talk about. It's thematic, dynamic and boisterous. It just makes everything feel so epic. It features an orchestra of 100 members. It has everything. You have the wonderful time traveling, to the fantasy, suspense and urgency of Marty's situation. It's a perfect story told through music and we enjoy every minute of it because this is the type of music that you would want to hear.
(Clips from the movie are shown while the theme is playing)
Sean: (Narrating) It makes you feel like you're going on an adventure and it's all done through music. It fills you with hope, it fills you with excitement. What more can say about this theme? It's awesome.
(Interlude)
Number 4: Star Wars/Star Trek
(Clips from the Star Wars movies and the Star Trek movies are shown while their respectable themes start playing)
Sean: (Narrating) It's kinda hard to choose which theme to pick, so I put them both in the same category. Okay, mostly because I don't want to piss off any fans of Star Wars and Star Trek. Also, the reason why I put them in the same category is that they both sound alike. Is it just me or do they sound similar?
"As a matter of fact, let's play a little game. Sing the Star Wars theme." Sean said.
(A member of the audience sings the Star Wars theme)
"Alright, now sing the Star Trek theme." Sean said.
(The same audience member sings the Star Wars theme until he starts singing the Star Trek theme)
"See? Told ya." Sean said.
Sean: (Narrating) Yeah, when I was a kid, I thought those two sound similar. Heck, one was composed by John Williams and the other was composed by Jerry Goldsmith. Plus, it's hard to sing one after the other. But hey, they both get the hype going for two of the greatest Sci-Fi franchises of all time. The Star Wars theme, of course, is iconic and one of the greatest scores in movie history with many of it's pieces being most notably iconic and classic, which is why I personally like the Star Trek theme a little more. It has an adventerous melody to it and it's gonna be used for Star Trek: The Next Generation in a few years And any time you hear that theme playing, you know that the crew of the Enterprise are going to be exploring strange new worlds. Yeah, Star Wars has some of it's kick-ass musical moments as well. Like how about in Return of the Jedi when Luke was about to get pushed into that Sarlaac Pit and he gets his green lightsaber and start kicking some ass and then the music plays?
(The theme plays as Luke wields his green lightsaber)
"That's right, Luke! Get those guys who work for Jabba. He looks like a fatter version of Donald Trump." Sean said as a picture of Donald Trump and Jabba the Hutt are shown back to back.
Sean: (Narrating) This is the greatest scores composed by Williams and Goldsmith that would put you in the mood for adventure. Two awesome themes for the price of one. Sounds like a great deal.
Number 3: Mortal Kombat
(The theme plays while clips from the movie are shown)
Sean: (Narrating) Yeah, I went their, guys. Even though the film didn't do well in theaters, but this theme is awesome. You could play this song at a club and you would still dance to it. The song has a good dance beat to it and it gets you pumped up for excitement and not seeing people's heads getting ripped off since it's PG-13. But what I love about this song is the guy shouting out "Mortal Kombat".
Man: MORTAL KOMBAT!
Sean: (Narrating) Just hearing him shout out "Mortal Kombat", you just want to get up and kick somebody's ass.
Brian enters the house and looks for Sean, then heads to the kitchen to grab himself something to drink.
"Ah, the last can of Pepsi. I'm sure that Sean won't mind." Brian said as he grabs the last can of Pepsi from out of the refrigerator.
Man: MORTAL KOMBAT!
Sean runs into the kitchen and starts attacking Brian while the theme starts playing. Once it stops, Sean looks down at Brian and realizes what he has done.
"Holy shit! Brian, I'm sorry!" Sean exclaimed.
"Ow! Dude, seriously?" Brian asked while groaning in pain.
"Brian, it's not my fault. It was Mortal Kombat." Sean said.
Man: MORTAL KOMBAT!
Sean: (Narrating) Imagine reading a fanfic on Fanfiction and hearing the words "Mortal Kombat", it'll make it awesome.
(We cut to Sean as we see him in his office reading an excerpt the fanfic Vitamin D by ByletheaFanatic32)
"The princess moaned at the mint taste surging through her lips while Daring himself got more than just a tasste of her obvious sweet apple pie-scented lips..." Sean said.
Man: MORTAL KOMBAT!
After hearing the words "Mortal Kombat", Sean starts reading quite excitedly while the song starts playing.
"...which would explain why his whole tongue slipped inside her mouth in a sweet, savory French kiss." AHHHHHHHHHH!" Sean screamed out.
Sean: (Narrating) What makes this theme so awesome is the simple naming of characters with the music.
Man: Liu Kang! Raiden! Johnny Cage! Scorpion!
Sean: (V/O as Narrator as Batman, Joker and the Phantasm pops up) Batman! Joker! Phantasm!
Man: MORTAL KOMBAT!
Sean: (Narrating) This is a theme that will get anyone ready for kombat.
"MORTAL KOMBAT!" Sean yelled out.
Suddenly, somebody throws a shoe at Sean and it hits him in the face.
"Ow! Son of a bitch, that hurts! Let's move on to the next entry." Sean said.
(Interlude)
Number 2: Rocky
Sean: (Narrating) Who doesn't feel like having a training montage or go out running after they hear this theme? The Rocky movies have the perfect theme music to get you ready for the big fight. This iconic theme composed by Bill Conti has become a part of pulp culture in a big way.
(Clips from the movie are shown)
Sean: (Narrating) It features a stirring build-up complete with vocals and it holds a special place in the heart of Philadelphians. My personal favorite is Rocky II's rendition of the theme. Aside from the theme, you also have the track Going The Distance, which is my other personal favorite. It help sells Rocky's fortitude in the ring. And let's not forget about the track The Final Bell, it's a momentous piece of music. Hearing it, it makes you feel like you've finally accomplished something in your life and that you finally raeach that moment of triumph. You feel a mix of emotions. You feel joy, happiness. You feel these types of of emotions. All you need is a crowd screaming and some crying and you've got yourself one kick-ass music score.
(A clip from Rocky II is shown)
Rocky Balboa (Played by Sylvester Stallone): Yo, Adrian! I did it!
Adrian Balboa (Played by Talia Shire): I love you. I love you.
"I love you, Rocky! I love you!" Sean cried.
(We end with a clip of the final still shot of Rocky II)
"Before we get to number 1 on the countdown, here are a few runners-up." Sean said.
Runners-Up
The Lord of the Rings
Transformers
Superman: The Movie
Batman
Invaders from Mars (1986)
Jurassic Park
The Pink Panther
Tombstone
Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins
Sean: (Narrating) And the number 1 KICK ASS movie theme of all time is...
Number 1: The Last Starfighter
Sean: (Narrating) Now, I know that some of you were wondering if Batman and Superman were going to make the list as yes, they're part of a few runners-up, so I'd figure I do something different because nobody has ever talked about this theme in any countdown because the main theme sounds so epic.
(Clips from The Last Starfighter is shown while the main theme plays in the background)
Sean: (Narrating) It makes you feel like you're going on an adventure and it has the great taste of victory to it. It's not too hardcore and it's not too threatening, it's positive and upbeat and epic. Composer Craig Safan, who worked as a composer for the sitcom Cheers, delivers a pretty rousing theme. It has that kind of a John Williams-type vibe to it and it also reminds me of a victorious theme where it makes you wanna rescue your girlfriend from a diabolical villain. It goes beyond a kid who plays his favorite video game and it becomes real when he gets caught in the action. It's all done through music. This is the theme that every kick-ass gaming hero needs.
"I hope that you all enjoy this awesome playlist that came up with. I'm Sean the Mayhem Critic and if you excuse me, I have to prepare for a certain theme month." Sean said and he grabs his Christmas baseball cap that reads "Keep the Change, Ya Filthy Animal!" while eerie music plays. But the young movie critic realized that he's wearing the wrong hat. "Oops, wrong hat. I probably left it upstairs in the closet."
Mayhem Critic Tagline- MORTAL KOMBAT!
And that is all for the Top 11 Kick-Ass Movie Themes. So, whar did you think of my picks? Are there any movie themes that are your favorite? Next time on The Mayhem Critic, it's the start of Halloween Havoc VI and kicking off this very special theme month, Sean the Mayhem Critic reviews Return of the Living Dead Part II, the sequel to the 1985 horror-comedy. Then after the review of Return of the Living Dead Part II review, I will be reviewing Child's Play 2 next. Don't forget to review the new chapter, add this story your favorites and follow it for future updates. If you want to do a co-review with me on the Return of the Living Dead Part II review, feel free to PM me if you're interested. It's on YouTube for free. Plus, I got the movie on Blu-Ray courtesy of Scream Factory. I'll see you guys next time. Till next time, my fellow readers.
Also: Which intro parody do you want to see for Halloween Havoc VI? Here are the two choices: A parody of the Beetlejuice intro or a parody of the Goosebumps intro?