This is a modern two-shot for everyone who has a hard time on Mother's Day, which features a married Darcy and Elizabeth. There is a lot of sweetness, fluff and general baby messiness in this first chapter. We'll get to the bigger emotional stuff in the next chapter. Unfortunately, as I just started this project today, I probably won't get the next chapter done until next weekend.

I Never Meant to Make You Cry on Mother's Day

Chapter 1: Preparations

On the day before Mother's Day, William Darcy said "Hi, big boy!" as he leaned over the baby's car seat to undo the straps. Baby Liam had blond fuzzy hair (despite his dark-haired parents) and round chubby cheeks, grinned at his father (a big toothless grin that always made his parents and any other adults who saw him grin back in response) and reached his little arms out. With practiced ease, William pulled Liam's socks up, straightened his cute little outfit (it was in evident boy colors because his parents had gotten tired of people assuming their son was a girl when he was dressed in more gender-neutral clothes) and then lifted his son out of his seat.

William was as love with Liam as he was with Elizabeth and sometimes, he felt like his heart would burst with such happiness. Of course, taking care of an infant was hard work, but William truly understood what it meant when people said that children were a product of love. It was as if their love alone had created this wonderful little human being, that it could not be limited to just them.

Liam squealed and kicked his feet as William positioned him into the front-pack and strapped him in. Liam loved walking around looking out at the world from the height of William's chest. "Ready to go shopping for Mama?" Liam did not reply, nor did William expect him to, but with a jaunty step, William crossed the parking lot and entered the flower shop.

William was greeted by a line. That would have normally irked him, but no more, not when he had little Liam with him and there was sure to be some woman in the line who would shower Liam with attention. William was not a sociable person by nature, but to have all the affection directed to his son, a son who William regarded as nearly perfect, seemed only Liam's due.

"Oh, hello little darling. Aren't you cute! Just look at those long lashes." A heavy-set pleasant looking woman in her mid-fifties with a curly bob threaded with grey, addressed Liam, earning some babbling from Liam. William thought ruefully that sometimes it felt like Liam had somehow inherited some of Charles's sociability, but of course Lizzy was an extrovert also, who had been somewhat tempered by her mother's criticism. But no more, he reminded himself. His mother-in-law had been dead these past three years.

The woman tickled Liam on the bottom of his socked foot. Liam squealed with mirth. She lifted her head toward William and asked, "How old is he?"

"Five months," William replied and then for something else to say said "We are picking up a nice bouquet for his mama; I want to make her first Mother's Day very special."

She nodded and smiled. "That's nicer than my errand, buying a funerary arrangement for my mother."

"I'm sorry." William frowned, wondering if he should be picking up something for Lizzy to put on her mother's grave.

The woman swiped with her hand. "Don't worry about it. It's been a lot of years, but of course I never forget." She shifted her tone back to that tone that many women use with both dogs and small children and tickled Liam's foot again, "Life goes on, doesn't it, doesn't it, you little cutie. What a handsome boy you are, just like your daddy."

The line moved quickly then, and before William knew it, he was holding the enormous bouquet he had ordered, trying to hold it away from Liam's grasping hands. William deposited the bouquet in the front seat, seat-belting it in, put Liam in his back-facing seat, and then drove back home. He hoped he had enough time to hide the bouquet and finish his other projects before Lizzy returned home.

Elizabeth was at the gym while William was running errands. The gym had a child-care room, but the Darcys did not trust just anyone to watch Liam, and so far, had only left him once for the span of a quick anniversary dinner while entrusting Liam to Jane. They had decided together that Elizabeth would not return to her job after Liam was born. They had considered getting a nanny, but money wasn't really an issue and as Elizabeth said, "He'll only be a baby once and I don't want to miss out on anything." While William knew it could be a lot of work to care for Liam, sometimes he was a bit envious when he left for work and knew he wouldn't see the two of them again until evening.

William sighed with relief when he opened the garage door and saw that Elizabeth's car was not in the garage. "We have a little more time, big boy, to work on Mama's presents." William hurried inside with Liam, changed his diaper with ease, and strapped him into a bouncy seat, before hurrying back to the car to retrieve the bouquet and some bags from the trunk. William placed the flowers and the cake in his side of their walk-in closet on the top shelf and then arranged a few items to conceal them. They joined other wrapped presents that were concealed by his sweaters on the shelf below. He put everything else where it needed to go, in the kitchen and in his home office.

William hurried back to Liam, who was batting at the dangling toys, and retrieved him. "We've got to hurry," he told Liam as he took him to his home office. "Mama will love your gifts." William worked diligently with Liam to prepare the other presents and had just finished minutes before and was sitting watching TV with Liam cuddled in the crook of his arm, when Elizabeth came home, sweaty but seemingly content.

"Hi Will, how'd it go? Did you get the milk?" and then to Liam "How's my boy?"

"Great," William replied. "Yes. Did you have a good workout, Lizzy?"

"Yes, dear, thanks for that."

Liam heard and saw his mother, and as happy as he had been with his daddy, he suddenly remembered that he was hungry now that "the dairy" was in the room. He gave a little whine that said he wanted to nurse and moved his mouth in a sucking motion.

Elizabeth saw what Liam was doing and knew what it meant. As much as she loved nursing Liam, sometimes she wished she wasn't on a clock when it came to feeding him. Being at home with him, they weren't really on a schedule, but she was trying to keep his feedings spaced at to three to four hours. "Do you think you can keep him happy for a few minutes? He's not really due to nurse for another half hour or so and I really want to shower."

"Sure! Let's read a book, Liam."

Elizabeth darted away and William retrieved a few touch and feel books. Fortunately, Liam was easily distracted when he wasn't too hungry. William really knew his wife needed some few moments when she was not subject to their son's demands.

Elizabeth sighed in relief as she stripped and readied the shower. She couldn't hear any crying, so William had evidently been successful for soothing Liam. But even the thought of nursing Liam made her breasts tingle, and she could feel her nursing pads get damp. Elizabeth pressed on her breasts and tried to think of other things.

Of course, the first thing that came to mind was the thing she had tried to avoid thinking about, the thing that had pushed her to run hard on the treadmill. The tough workout had helped work out some of her emotions that were especially hard this time of year, but now that it was over, they were flooding back.

Elizabeth couldn't help it, every time she saw Mother's Day related items in stores, online, she just felt like bursting into tears. She had thought that the anniversary of her mother's passing, or her mother's birthday would be the hardest days. But no, it was Mother's Day that got her every time. She just wanted the holiday to be over and done with. Then Father's Day would be next, a day in which she could shower her own father with love and do something cute for William from Liam.

As Elizbeth showered and scrubbed roughly at her hair, she allowed herself to cry. The shower would wash it all away, and if she needed to blow her nose into her hand, well the shower would wash that all away, too. Elizabeth hoped that William had listened to her request for a low-key Mother's Day. She'd explained the week before, "Liam is so little, so I don't want you to think I expect you to do something on his behalf. Mother's Day isn't a big deal at all, though when he is old enough to make me some craft in school, well that will be great. For this year, I'd love it if you'd arrange some nice, pre-ordered take-out meal that we can pick up after church. That will be more than enough for me."

What Elizabeth didn't know is what William had heard was that while Elizabeth wasn't expecting anything but a meal (he admired that she'd never been a high-maintenance sort of wife and didn't want to put him out), he saw this as his chance to impress her by surprising her with all sorts of thoughtful things. If she wanted crafts from Liam, well crafts she would get. Any good husband (which William prided himself on being) ought to spoil his wife with lots of things to show her how much he appreciated what a great mother she was, and how she'd given them both the greatest gift of all by having their son.

Elizabeth pulled herself together well enough after her shower, that by the time she emerged damp-haired and dressed, no one would have thought she had just been sobbing her eyes out. She smiled and held out her arms for Liam when she emerged, and seconds later Liam was nursing for all he was worth.

"Lizzy, you are such a good mom," William commented, looking over at the pair. Liam's mouth worked rhythmically, even as his eyes drifted closed, while Elizabeth stroked his soft hair. Sometimes when William saw Liam nurse, he thought of seeing his own mom nurse Georgiana. His mom had always done a good job of sticking his sister half under her shirt if she was attaching her in front of him so he never really saw anything he shouldn't, but he remembered seeing her little mouth work as her hand possessively clutched their mom's breast over her shirt. He knew that his mother had nursed him, too, but as a twelve to fourteen-year-old had been embarrassed to think about that.

In seeing his wife care so diligently for his own son, he felt surrounded by his mother's love as well, knowing she had been just as devoted to him and his sister. The pain of losing his mother when Georgiana was five, had faded a lot by now, leaving mostly just pleasant memories, but it had made him a little sad when Liam was born when he thought about the fact that Liam would never know his grandmothers, or one of his grandfathers. But then he consoled himself with the fact that his son had so many aunts and one devoted uncle (and would doubtless gain more uncles as his aunts married).

"Should I start some dinner?" William asked.

"That would be great," Elizabeth replied. Liam was almost done on her left side. Liam was half asleep, nursing half-heartedly now, but every time she tried to pop him off that side, he would speed up. Finally, she got him off, lifting him up for a quick burping before getting him settled on the other side. Liam drifted off again after just a minute, leaving Elizabeth feeling lopsided. The immediate pressure had been relieved, but she knew she would need to nurse him more soon or to pump. So far, she had twenty some little bags stacked in the freezer. She'd only thawed the milk a couple of times, when she'd left Liam for a longer period of time, but then ended up dumping most of the bottle out when she returned, as Liam preferred to nurse over taking a bottle.

Elizabeth tickled Liam's chin and then feet, but to no avail. Instead of nursing more, he released her breast. She rearranged her nursing pad and did up the cup. She let Liam sleep on her lap for a while, until he passed the arm test (she lifted his arm and let it drop, if he did not stir, he was ready to be moved), and then moved him to a pack and play, arranging him on his back. Elizabeth gave a little sigh, retrieved the noisy pump, assembled it and then went to work. Within half a minute it was draining her breast effectively and making her feel better. It wasn't as good as Liam and took longer than him, but it would do.

Darcy couldn't really cook, but he had warmed frozen meals for them and made a salad. He had poured Lizzy a great big glass of water as she needed a lot to drink while nursing. Lizzy managed to eat most of her dinner before Liam awoke, screaming. "I've got it," William sprang up, flung a burp cloth over his shoulder and retrieved Liam. Lizzy could hear him talking soothingly to Liam as he patted him on the back. "Let's get that nasty burp out of there."

Lizzy was left to finish her meal, feeling at lost ends. While she was busy with Liam, she could just focus on him, but now, now her mind was left to wander.

That night, after Liam had his last feed before bed, and was in his crib in their room, William snuggled next to Lizzy and gently kissed her. It was only nine and she knew what he wanted, and she wanted it too, he was such a good husband and father, was even more attractive to her in some ways now, but she was just so tired and worn out. "Will . . . "

"It's okay," William said. "We can sleep. I understand." He gave her a gentle kiss on the forehead and then turned away. William was frustrated, but he knew Lizzy was sometimes "touched out" or just too tired. He had dutifully read the books in his effort to be a good husband and father. But occasionally he felt just a bit of resentment that Liam got all this time being held close by his wife, had full access to her breasts which were now off limits to him. He reminded himself, as he had countless times before, "He's so little and needs her so much; it won't always be this way." William distracted himself by thinking about how much Lizzy was going to like her Mother's Day Presents. He fell asleep thinking of his big plans for the day.

Although Elizabeth was very tired, her mind, traitor that it was, kept thinking about her mother and counting down the minutes until Liam would wake up again and want to nurse. Usually, he would go for a good five hour stretch after nursing one last time at around midnight. She finally drifted to sleep for what seemed like only minutes when she woke up to the little whimpers that proceeded full on crying. She got up and nursed Liam in the rocking chair while William slept on. She half dozed while Liam half-heartedly finished nursing on her second breast.

Elizabeth was waiting to make sure Liam was fully asleep, when she was roused by hearing Liam loudly fill his pants. It was a gurgling wet sound that nursing babies make because their poo is so soft. With a sigh, feeling dead on her feet, Lizzy got up and took Liam to the nursery to change his diaper. Liam cried she flipped on the light. He cried again when the cold air hit him. She hurried to wipe him, only to learn when she gave a final wipe, that he wasn't quite done. Liam pooped loudly, shooting the brown mud up the back of his sleeper and staining the changing pad. He cried at that, too.

"Lizzy, do you need help?" Elizabeth heard a groggy-sounding William call from the next room.

Elizabeth was torn. She knew she could handle it all and while William truly was willing to help, she knew he needed his sleep, too. Wasn't it better if only one of them was tired the next day?

"In a minute," she announced. She changed Liam into a new diaper and new sleeper, only realizing when she saw a dark stain on the back of the sleeper that she had somehow missed some poop that had reached his neck. Elizabeth changed Liam into a third sleeper, with him crying again when she undressed him. She hurried with him into their bedroom, Liam on her right hip, and handed him to William who was still in bed, lying on his back. "Here take Liam."

William reached up and Elizabeth deposited Liam on his chest. William's arms came around Liam and he began to sing "Away in the Manger" to Liam. Liam quieted almost instantly. William's voice drifted off before he had finished the first verse.

Elizabeth returned to the mess that was the nursery, getting all the wipes and diapers thrown away before gathering up the changing pad cover and soiled sleepers. She hurried over to the washing machine and grabbed the stain treater. She sprayed and scrubbed until the stains were less determinant and then set the items to wash. She would check in the morning to see if the wash got them clean or they needed to be treated a second time. Elizabeth returned to the nursery and put a new cover on the changing pad before visiting the bathroom and then joining her husband in bed. As she reached over to her snoring William, she felt Liam still on his chest.

Elizabeth got up again, lifted Liam up, and got him settled in his crib. He stirred a bit at being moved, so she stood standing with her hand on his tummy for a few minutes until he seemed to be more deeply asleep. Feeling exhausted, she made it back into bed and this time was able to fall back asleep without too much trouble. Her last thought as she drifted off, was the wish that she could sleep Mother's Day away and wake up on Monday.