Thank you for all your kind comments. Waking up two hours early gave me a chance to finish this chapter off.

4. The Tension Builds

The Darcys remained quiet the rest of the ride to church and rather than live with the silence, William turned on the radio and they listened to a commercial about a new type of toothpaste and then a political ad filled with half-truths before finally getting some actual programming with the weather forecast: "We're expecting a surge of heat in the afternoon, to be followed by thunderstorms in the evening."

The Darcys arrived late to church and hardly had time to exchange greetings with the greeters, a pleasant older couple with silvered hair, before the opening song swelled and they had to hurry to find seats. The Darcys attended a smaller church, so there were perhaps seventy people present that morning. Elizabeth and William liked to find seats in the back, so it would be easier to leave the sanctuary if Liam was fussy. They only started attending this church when Elizabeth was in the second trimester of her pregnancy as William wanted Liam to be raised in a church and Elizabeth did not have any big objection to this. She was comfortable being an agnostic, but not particularly opposed to God and all that. But the back was pretty full that day and there wasn't a good spot there.

Neither William nor Elizabeth wanted to sit near the homeless man, Jake. Jake looked to be in his sixties or beyond, stooped and wrinkly, but was actually only in his forties. He was aged beyond his years from countless days under the hot sun, and all the drinking and drugs. He was harmless enough but as per usual, he smelt of stale urine and spilled cheap beer. It wasn't really his fault, though, as he hadn't any access to a shower and did his best to be presentable when he showed up on a Sunday. He was only hungover, rather than still drunk.

The week before, when William used the restroom at church, he found Jake washing his underwear in the bathroom sink with the hand soap. In that moment, William felt the need to do something to help Jake but was still pondering what to do. The easy thing would have been to hand him money, but he knew it would probably end up just fueling his habits, so he was still pondering as he tended to deliberate a while when no immediate action was needed.

In any case, by unspoken agreement they decided not to sit by Jake, and instead ended up on the far side of the second row, the only aisle access left available beside the front row where the pastor's wife and family always sat. Elizabeth sang beautifully as she always did when she knew the song and she knew "How Great Thou Art." She sang with vigor while William admired her.

William didn't sing along, he never really sang at church, just mostly mouthed the words instead, which worked out just as well for him most of the time. Usually, Elizabeth pretends not to notice this, but on that day, she nudged him and said, "Why aren't you honoring your God by singing?"

Those words stung him as she knew why he wasn't singing and the use of the words "your God" bothered him. He wanted God to be "their God," to have her be at church because she believed and wanted a relationship with the Savior, not just because he wanted to be there. But this sure wasn't the time to start an argument, so he started singing softly, but it wasn't working out too well for him.

William's singing voice could actually be quite pleasant if he knew what notes to sing, but as per usually he didn't. The two singers up on the stage weren't singing one of the parts that would be his as a deep bass. It would have been better for him if the church used hymn books as he might have figured out what to do from looking at the notes for all the parts, but that help isn't available since the words are just projected on the screen.

Feeling self-conscious as surely the pastor's family can hear him, William distracted himself by recalling how preteen Georgiana used to play the notes on her keyboard for his singing part when she wanted him to accompany her on one of her pop songs. She understood he couldn't just wing it and never made him feel stupid that he didn't know the right notes.

Finally, the song ended, and William sat down with relief to just watch the service. Pastor John, a balding, middle-aged man with a perpetual five o'clock shadow and a belly, climbed the stage and stood looking out as he did every Sunday. He was completely ordinary in appearance but good with words. He opened the service by saying "As you all know, today is Mother's Day. Happy Mother's Day to all those mothers out there."

He paused for effect, scanning the congregation. "Didn't know?" There was an awkward titter. "Well consider this your last warning to rush out after church and buy something for your mom or the mother of your children. If your loved one lives far away, I hear you can get e-gift cards delivered almost instantly."

There was another slightly awkward pause as the congregation waited for him to proceed to the scripture reading. But Pastor John kept waiting until he got the congregation's complete attention. While doing so, he stared out at the congregants, his eyes seemingly resting upon a few individuals, including William and Elizabeth. Pastor John said, "Mother's Day can be a difficult day for some people. Treat others with compassion today. Many among us have lost a mother. There are mothers among us who have lost children. There are women who wish to become mothers who have struggled with infertility. Give yourself the freedom to mourn rather than celebrate today if that is what you need to do. But if you are feeling like celebrating and all is great, go for it. Enjoy your special day. Now the verse for today is . . . "

Elizabeth felt a hard lump form in her throat. She had been prepared for the Happy Mother's Day message, a series of verses on the good mothers in the Bible, maybe a focus on Mary, mother of Jesus. She had not been prepared for compassion towards her. Somehow this felt worse than a message which ignored her pain as she did not anticipate it at all, was not prepared for it. She wanted to cry. But she did not want to cry in church, not in front of the pastor and everyone. Anger was easier and without even really thinking about what she was saying, she whispered bitingly in William's ear, "Why didn't you get me up earlier so I could go visit my mother's grave with Jane?"

Even as the words were leaving her mouth, she knew the comment was irrational. She never told William about her phone call with Jane. There was really never any time. She also never said she wanted to visit her mother's grave, had not planned on it, but now it just seemed like the thing she should be doing, to properly honor her mother. But the anger burned her anyway and needed to be released. He was just the nearest and most convenient target.

"I didn't . . ." he started to answer but she didn't let him.

Before the first word was out of his mouth, Elizabeth slung the diaper backpack over her shoulder. By the second word she pulled Liam from William's unresisting arms and announced, "He needs to nurse."

It was a flat out lie, an excuse. She knew it and William did, too. Liam was fully content, and Elizabeth's breasts were soft. But she always had a little milk available, and Liam was almost always up for a little snack if it were to be offered.

Elizabeth could not stand to stay there, to be there, and she knew the nursing room would give her cover. Only women and small children were allowed in that room, and this was the only place she nursed at church. While Elizabeth could have nursed right there in the sanctuary and no one would bat an eye, but she wasn't yet a pro with attaching Liam without exposing herself, Liam didn't like the cloth tents that go around the neck and Elizabeth didn't like attracting more attention to what she was doing by wearing one, anyway.

Elizabeth almost ran to the nursing room, hoping for privacy. There were only a couple of current nursing mothers at church, Nancy and Brianna, so Elizabeth hoped for privacy as their children usually made it through the service and she had only nursed alongside each of them but once or twice. LaTonya was also nursing Linkon still, but she just nursed in the sanctuary. Elizabeth opened the door to see Brianna holding Danny (who was sitting on her nap and decidedly not nursing) and chatting with a woman Elizabeth had not met before, who was nursing an infant.

Elizabeth sat down in the last rocking chair, with Liam on her lap. Liam looked around, and apparently recognizing the nursing room, or recognizing he wasn't in the sanctuary with all the people to look at anymore, he voiced a little whine. Elizabeth couldn't decide if Liam had decided to be hungry or was complaining about being taken to a different room. She hoped Liam would nurse so she wouldn't feel like such a fraud.

Brianna said brightly, "Hi Lizzy. This is my sister, Jordan. She's in town to spend Mother's Day with our mom, and of course I didn't want to miss a minute of sister time. Lizzy's Liam is exactly six months to the day younger than Danny."

"Hi," said Jordan, brightly. "Liam is adorable and I love his outfit."

Elizabeth looked down and for the first time saw the cheery bears and message. She knew it was William's doing. He was always so thoughtful, sometimes too thoughtful, like he was still trying to earn her love and had not yet fully gotten over the fact that long ago she had mistakenly thought she hated him. She felt the lump that had eased upon fleeing half form again. Will is too good and here I treated him like crap. She knew she ought to apologize but did not particularly want to. If William was always trying to earn her love, Elizabeth was always half doubting that she deserved it. She feared that someday William would wake up to what a mistake marrying her had been.

"Thanks!" Elizabeth said a little too brightly. She glanced at Jordan's infant and spotted a giant bow headband. She was grateful for that gender cue. "Your little girl is darling. What's her name?"

Elizabeth did not think the baby was anywhere as cute as Liam, but it was something to say. She reminded herself that there was a reason that diaper companies rarely featured newborns in their commercials as babies got a lot cuter when they were a few months old, but still this baby seemed awkwardly put together and she doubted her looks would improve all that much.

"Maybelle," Jordan answered.

Liam reached toward Danny or more likely the brightly colored blanket in Danny's hand. No one paid any attention to the service being quietly projected into the nursing room via a small speaker.

"Awe, he wants to play," Brianna noted. "He's getting to that age where he will be a lot harder to nurse when he is distracted. Maybe I should get out of here with him and leave you to it."

"No, that's okay," Elizabeth said, grateful for the excuse of why her son might not nurse. She still felt angry and headachy from her strong feelings but appreciated the distraction the women and their children offered. She engaged in idle chit chat about babies for a while, and eventually Liam started drooling while looking at her and she was able to get him attached. Feeling the letdown of her milk offered her some relief.

But Liam did not nurse all that long before he began playing with her nipple, gumming it and grinning up at her. There was only so long that she could stay once he was burped and remained wide awake. As for Danny, he was crawling on the floor while Brianna rocked her sleeping Maybelle. She knew that she would not like it if some interloper was interrupting her sister time with Jane. Elizabeth made her excuses, still feeling out of sorts, and returned to William's side.

Liam said, "Da da ga na nee" and reached for William. He took Liam and helped Liam stand on his lap. Still feeling waspish and out of sorts, Elizabeth sat down, lost in her own thoughts as the pastor droned on. Normally, she was engaged in listening to the message, but thoughts of her mother distracted her.

Elizabeth had grown up nominally Catholic, attending mass typically just on big holidays. She recalled the midnight mass which welcomed the Christ child (while her mom fought to keep her and her sisters awake), the Easter services, and occasional random services. But it had never meant much to her, and while she recalled Lydia getting sprinkled, neither Elizabeth or any of her sisters had ever had a first communion or formed any kind of relationship with the Sunday school teachers that were rarely seen more than twice before she was supposed to be in a different class. It was her mother, as she recalled, who made the effort to get them there when they did go.

Elizabeth had been thinking more about faith after her mother died. She hoped her mother was in heaven, but if there was a God, she was angry with him for taking her mother away just when they had been on the cusp of a good relationship, of not letting her mother enjoy being a teacher, of taking the woman who surely would have been a loving (if perhaps sometimes annoying) grandmother away from her and Jane's children before they were even conceived. It all seemed unfair.

Finally, the service was over. Elizabeth was more than ready to go home, hopefully get Liam down for a nap and perhaps take one herself. But as often occurs, nothing went according to plan. Liam fell asleep in his carseat, but roused when William removed him and began to scream. It was a tired "I didn't get a long enough nap" scream that portended it would be hard to get him down again.

William hadn't done anything wrong, Elizabeth was able to admit that to herself later, but at the time Elizabeth blamed him.

"Why didn't you wait to get him out, check his arm to see if he was truly asleep?"

"I did," William defended. "His arm was floppy and everything. It is just hard to take him out of his harness without waking him." William swayed with Liam as they walked into the house, trying his best to soothe him.

"Then you should have unhooked his carseat."

"But you don't like me doing that, because it can be hard to get it back in."

"Ug, I don't know why I even bother. It is excuse after excuse with you and at this rate he'll never get back to sleep. Hand him over."

Contrary to Elizabeth's words, Liam's cries had been softening and William was hopeful about getting him down again, but when he got transferred (not a gentle transfer as she pulled him quickly away from William), Liam a loud scream at the switch.

"Can I get you anything?" William asked, eager to be of help, to soften the angry look she gave him.

"No, nothing. I don't need a thing." Elizabeth walked and rocked.

With nothing else to do, William moseyed into the kitchen and fixed himself a sandwich and Elizabeth one, too, for when she was done. He had just finished about half of his sandwich when he got an alert on his phone, a reminder of the waiting takeout he was supposed to have picked up after church. Not wanting to just leave, he went into the bedroom to tell Elizabeth.

She was sitting in the rocking chair, rocking hard as Liam continued to sob.

"I forgot our takeout at the Chinese place, Lizzy, I'll be right back."

"Sure, leave me with the screaming kid." Elizabeth groused. William felt that Elizabeth was about as tired and cranky as Liam, which wasn't helping anything.

"I can take him, see if he'll go back down in the car," William offered. "Or I could stay here with him while you get it, although I didn't want you to have to lift a finger on Mother's Day." He felt these were both well-reasoned options, but Elizabeth didn't see it that way.

"Nope, when he calms down, he'll want to nurse and unless you want to grow some boobs and attend to that yourself, he will just get grumpier."

"Say, don't you have some pumped milk in the fridge? I could feed him that."

"Nuh-uh, then that will just make me have to pump later and that takes longer than nursing," Elizabeth whined. She didn't know it then, but her tone was a lot like Lydia's whining when she didn't get her way.

William raised his hands in surrender. "I can do whatever you want. What will it be?"

"Just take him and see how hard it is to bottle feed him. I could care less about the takeout. I'm going to go get some flowers and visit my mother's grave."

William took Liam, holding his son against his chest as he walked into their walk-in closet. "That reminds me." He emerged with the bouquet. "Happy Mother's Day, Lizzy. If you want, you can put some of them on your mother's grave, or you can buy something else, but I wish you would wait and let me come with you."

Elizabeth snatched the flowers from him. "These will do, I guess."

William felt hurt by her dismissive attitude. He had purposefully made sure all her favorite flowers were included, and it was an expensive bouquet, but she was acting like it was nothing.

Elizabeth stomped off. Passing the kitchen, she noticed the sandwich waiting for her, but her stomach felt tight and she felt an overwhelming urge to escape so she did not so much as take a single bite. Still, her body knew it was hungry even if Elizabeth herself did not know, and it made her more irritable, still.

As she left in her car, Elizabeth hoped resentfully that Liam would cry the whole time she was gone, not because she really wanted her son to be unhappy that long, but because William should get a glimpse of how hard her days could be when he was at work.

William didn't have time to ponder his wife's attitude for long because he was busy with Liam. William's best soothing skill was that he could use his physical prowess to distract Liam from being upset. That was where tossing Liam into the air, swooping him in a sideways airplane, and swinging him around came in. Liam couldn't help but enjoy himself when Daddy played with him. Soon the interruptions with the crying grew longer and longer until Liam forgot that he was tired and upset. He settled down enough that William was able to put him in his bouncy seat and set about preparing his milk.

William fixed a bottle from the pumped milk in the fridge and warmed the bottle by holding it under warm water from the sink, before shaking up it up. He ate a couple more bites of sandwich before returning to Liam. He didn't like seeing Elizabeth's untouched sandwich. He paused to call the takeout restaurant and arranged to have the probably now cold order delivered instead, thinking Surely Lizzy will be tired and hungry when she gets back.

Liam was non-plussed with being offered the stiff bottle nipple that was nothing like his mother's warm breast while being held in his daddy's arms, but he was hungry enough by then that the dribble of milk from it on his tongue from gumming it convinced him to suck, diffidently at first, but with more vigor as his belly started to fill. It helped that Daddy's arms were familiar, and the flavor was, too. All in all, William thought it was a successful enough endeavor, especially when Liam's eyes began to drift close and he released the mostly empty bottle.

William got Liam settled in his crib before the deliveryman arrived and tipped generously when he did. William put the food away in the fridge and finished his sandwich. Seeing Elizabeth's sandwich still sitting there, and still being hungry himself, he ate hers, too, reasoning that she might get something while she was out, or there was the Chinese food. He rinsed the plates and bottle, placing them in the dishwasher, folded the laundry, and put it away. With nothing else to do, he arranged his presents for Elizabeth on their dinner table. He hoped she would feel better after she returned and perhaps get a much-needed nap.

A/N: The big conflict is coming, and William doesn't even know it yet. What would you like to see occur? How should they later make up?