Chapter 13 [Campsite—Ten Leagues from Whitgate]
Luna shone down on a good-sized clearing amidst massive oak trees. Amazons and Britomart filled their water skins at a nearby river. Spits bore cooking meat above campfires. Guard duty required all to patrol in rotation.
And one Warlock sat and did nothing by the fire. Healers' Orders…
Merlin watched roast quail sizzle over the campfire. Furs over his shoulders kept him warm. Stiffness and Pain burned at his left shoulder. Frustration weighed on him. Guilt ate at him. A survey of his surroundings took in several Amazon warriors patrolling the camp's perimeter.
Reyna's sacrifice ate at him. He hung his head. She was out here on that remote island estate. All she did was help people. If Britomart and the others had not brought me there, nobody would have come for her. If we did not have to fight at Shalott, someone else could have healed me. Then again, I could have just stayed back as Arthur and Uther told me to…. His eyes rolled at himself. No sooner did the thought occur to him, than he discarded it. I saved Prince Kay's life. I cast that spell. I…how did I cast that spell? His mouth twisted into a frown.
I boosted your abilities, Emrys.
He looked all around himself. "Who's there? What?"
That, Merlin, is the voice of the triple goddess. You should feel privileged for her aid. Without it, you would be dead. The Young Pendragon, Camelot, and the rest would be routed. They would have hauled the survivors off as captives, slaves or worse. Your efforts, as you say, proved a turning point. A price, however, is to be paid, Kilgarrah interjected. The priestess allowed herself to be taken to protect you. Pardon me, Lady.
Your explanation is a good one, Kilgarrah. Thank you, the goddess accepted his explanation. Nimue explained this matter to you, Emrys. Feeling Merlin's confusion, she clarified, I call you by your true name…your spiritual name. 'Merlin' is the name your mother gave you at birth. Emrys is the name many know you by. The Druids know you now. So do the Amazons.
You should let King Rodor know, Merlin. You cannot go back to Camelot now. Malodius growled low at Camelot's ever-present threat.
Merlin shook his head. Nimue's recounting of Arthur's and Uther's attitudes fell on his (deaf/denial-motivated) ears. Arthur's never going to stop yelling at me. I will be doing chores for weeks on end after this! His right arm stretched toward the afflicted shoulder. He set his jaw. Canary flashed in his eyes. "Slàn leat!" He jerked from Spell's effect on injury.
"That helps but you still are staying there." Elena set his water skin next to him. "I refilled our skins at the river. "Those guards are not just here to guard against thieves and brigands. They are making sure you do not try to get back on your own to Whitgate." She chuckled at him. "I swear you have a death wish, Merlin. We Amazons do anything to serve Queen Radegund and the Sisterhood. We also know our limits."
He cut off his desired retort. Her roles as servant, healer, and warrior came to mind. "At least you do not have to hide who you are."
She stifled a cough with her hand. "Queen Radegund does not require us to do so, Merlin. She accepts us." She took a draught from her skin. "Magic is accepted in Amazonia. We harbor other sorcerers, you know." She shook her head. "You risk so much for butchers who would kill you. I wish I could understand that." She leaned back against the wagon wheel.
"I have my duty to Prince Arthur. I am supposed to see him enthroned. It's this prophecy and all of that." A shrug deflected his own internal objections over certain aspects of Arthur's issues. The Pendragon hatred of magic ate at him. Will's and Nimue's lectures stung at him. "Everyone hates Camelot."
"Everyone hates Camelot. Now that is an interesting take." Amusement lilted at her tone. "I think King Uther brings it on himself. Queen Radegund would tell you about Queen Igraine, Prince Arthur's mother. You apparently battled the Priestess Nimue?"
"You know about that?" Surprise stiffened him. Left shoulder reacted in unpleasant fashion to that. "Mmm."
"We hear things. Aye." Gotcha sparked in her eyes at him. "Fighting an Afanc at that point? I would say that is quite a feat." She held up her outstretched hand and pointed to a finger. "Then, there's the griffin." She pointed at a second finger. "Perhaps that prat with the cursed shield?" She waggled her third finger at him. "You just about gave me a heart attack when you drank from the poison goblet." She bit her lip. "Master Gaius did not see me slip into his chamber. He really should be more careful." A pained sigh escaped her lips. "You almost died there as well." She set her jaw. "And then Prince Arthur shot that unicorn like an idiot. You could have died then too! And there was that fight in your village. Ealdor, right? Then, because you just cannot stop…you threw yourself in front of that butcher's sword? Why does the Prince not raise you up to a knight or his advisor? King Uther has no idea of half of what you do."
Merlin is like that. He slips in and out of shadow much as you Amazons do, Elena. You did yourself proud on the battlefield. Pity I have my situation, Kilgarrah chimed in. As you said earlier, the Pendragons do not appreciate him. They like him right where he is. So does Gaius. Merlin speaks of duty. He does not understand that his duty lies with more than just the Young Pendragon. He has a duty to his fellow magical beings and the triple goddess as well, Kilgarrah chimed in with Snark's edge to jab Merlin for good measure.
True, Dragon. Merlin must learn to balance both sides. Malodius put his head down in his paws.
"Wait! You talk to him too?" Merlin turned to her. His eyes narrowed to slits.
A gentle snort answered his question. Aye, Merlin. I can speak to him, you, and Malodius. Her hand ruffled the lion's mane for effect. "I wish I had magical abilities. I am merely a tele-empath. I sense thoughts, feelings, auras, energy, and emotions. I am grateful, however, for what the goddess has blessed me with. I am a healer. I serve her will by helping others. Much as you are loyal to King Uther and Prince Arthur, I am loyal to Queen Radegund. Like you, I protect those I care for." She unsheathed a sword. Consideration watched Luna glint against its blade for several heartbeats. "Like you, I make choices in battle. I sense your thoughts. You think that I do not understand what you do." Her eyes rolled. "I had a choice at Shalott. I took a probationary oath before the battle. If I had disabled warriors without excess blood, I would not have been bound forever." She shook her head. "Then you did what you did."
"I…what?" He frowned.
She exhaled a deep breath. "For someone so powerful and so supposedly insightful, you are such a Prat!" She backhanded the wheel next to herself. "You do not get it! Do you? Your mind is so stuck on Prince Arthur. You did not notice the fair maid Gwen. Did you? You do not see when others value you as well! You sacrificed yourself for Prince Kay. You left yourself open for another of those Cawdorian savages! I had to kill to save your life! In saving you, I denied myself any chance." She shook her head. "You need to be free. You have to get away so you can use your magic openly."
Kilgarrah chortled.
Dragon, stop! Malodius whined.
Merlin allowed several heartbeats to elapse. His mind struggled to digest Elena's words. "Prince Arthur would let me go if I needed to leave. Do you have that freedom under the vow?"
She raised an eyebrow. "Would he really? And if Prince Arthur or King Uther knew about your magic? Why have you not told them about it?" An almost cruel chortle spurted from her. "You know Prince Arthur was there with Aredian and the knights? You think he would've stopped Aredian from taking you? I think not. Remember, Merlin, how he was at your friend's funeral. He accepts you because he thinks you are the bumbling yet brave companion who takes care of his needs. You are his security blanket. You have a much bigger destiny than that." Purpose glinted in her eyes at him. "I had high hopes, Merlin. I admit I desire you. I know now you do not feel the same. Accordingly, that was not my destiny nor yours. I saved your life twice on that occasion. I content myself with being your friend, battlefield companion and healer."
"You do not know me, Elena. Thanks for what you did. I do not want that freedom. I have to be at Arthur's side. It is my destiny." Merlin averted his glance. His eyes skimmed the stars and Nocturne's backdrop.
"We have something else in common, Merlin. Because of a brave act, we changed those desired destinies. I am a warrior healer and no longer simply a servant. Camelot will have questions after this about you. Besides, others know about you as well now." Elena sheathed the sword again. "You know that others saw you cast the spell. What do you think that means? Prince Arthur knows you went out on the battlefield despite his orders. King Uther knows as well."
"I have done it before. I have explained before as well. I will now." Merlin blew on his skewer. "Want some?"
"Perhaps later. Thank you." Elena shook her head. "One day, Merlin, your luck will run out in that regard. I pray if and when that happens, it is in a place like this where you have allies rather than back in Camelot where it is only Gaius and you." She saw Britomart approach. "I need to clear my head. Thanks for listening, Merlin. Please keep your eyes open." She bowed to him. "Watch him. He is thinking too much."
Britomart sniffed. "I figured as much. I am sorry, Sister."
"It was not my destiny nor his. I told him as much. It is my turn to take the watch with Wyglif. Thank you." Elena walked off toward the northeast on that note. Heartache and issues plagued her with each step.
"She does not understand." Merlin shook off Elena's words. Her affections made him feel less than comfortable to be honest. "We serve. My mother sent me to Camelot for a better life. I have to serve Prince Arthur. That was King Uther intended when he brought me into the royal household. Gwen's a good friend. I cannot have a life like that. What happens if she finds out?"
"I disagree, Merlin. You have a great deal to offer a woman. The problem with you is that you so focused on Prince Arthur, you do not realize that or anything else for that matter. And if you meet the right woman, your magic will not matter to her. Nay. She would respect you more for it. You'd best eat that and get some sleep. We have an early start in the morning." Britomart motioned toward the skewer. She drank from her own water skin.
Merlin shook his head. I think I know my own destiny. Thank you very much! Gratitude extended toward their help. He preferred not to get their two shillings in the process.
Prophecy and Truth, unbeknownst to Merlin, rang in Elena's words. Change bore down on Merlin and the others. The goddess' distinctions defined themselves. Malodius' and Kilgarrah's assumptions factored in. Still, they would all work to form something else entirely.
That process and the final outcome would be telling in themselves….