Brookyln widened her eyes as tears prickled, "Dada not coming back ever?", and Amanda whispered, caressing her granddaughter's hair, astounded that Brookyln is smarter than most toddlers she knew, "We don't know, sweetie...It was...it would be almost similar to your Uncle Bucky when he was missing for a week...".
"Oh...Me go help Mumma...Ash sleeping in booster cradle chair...", Brookyln replied, looking determined, and Amanda blinked, "She wants to be alone, sweetie...".
Brookyln huffed, "Me help Mumma!", and turned away from her grandmum, and started to climb the stairs, and Audrey gave a small, choked chuckle, "Just like her father...".
"Mumma!", Brooklyn called out for her mother which broke the meltdown that Peggy was going through; she raised her head, turning to look towards her daughter. "Why is Mumma so sad?", she asked as Peggy felt another dark sorrowful wave hit her… having to explain that her father wasn't coming back.
Brooklyn blinked worriedly as she peered at her mummy over the bed as she toddled in, seeing that her mummy didn't close the door as she climbed the stairs to her mummy's bedroom. She then grunted as she climbed into the bed, crawling to her mummy, her little hand stroking her mummy's hair as she noticed her daddy's compass.
"Dada okay?", Brooklyn asked as Peggy tried to steel herself and not break down again in front of her child. Brooklyn felt hurt to see her mummy in tears and replied softly, "Gramma saying that she and other family not know Dada not coming back ever...like Ukle Bucky?".
Peggy stifled a sob and choked back a knot in her throat, "Dada is gone...he...he fought a really bad guy...there was a really big boom like that day in the shelter... remember?".
Brooklyn was relieved to hear her mummy's voice if only weak, and shivered at the memory, "Bad guy did really big boom at Dada?".
Peggy shook her head, "No, Dada took care of him; I know it. Just… bad guy had big plans that Dada had to get rid of… and must have not escaped in time…". Brooklyn frowned, "Dada special like me...can be like Unke Bucky...".
Peggy shivered at the thought of him suffering injuries, and tears came again, clutching Steve's compass tighter in her hands. Brooklyn was confused and hurt again..."Mummy, peas no cry...Dada be coming back...he gotta be...", brushing her mummy's hair.
Peggy sobbed, "I tried, Brooke! This damn crystal can't find him! He's gone, Brooke!", looking at her daughter who's stubborn like her father and mother altogether.
Brooklyn froze, and tears prickled at her eyes as she cowered slightly, "Me sorry, Mumma...sould listening to grandmum when she saying you wanna be alone...", as Peggy realized in horror that she shouted at her daughter, her innocent and amazing toddler daughter!
"No, no, it's my fault, sweetie...", Peggy immediately took her into her arms and kissed her head, rubbing her back, "I'm sorry, I am so sorry...I love you so much...", feeling her daughter's hands holding into her shirt.
"Mumma… Mumma's just… just taking the loss so much harder than ever…", Peggy whispered, sniffling. "Mumma knows she misses Dada…", Brooklyn said as Peggy squeezed her a bit more in the hug.
Peggy exhaled, "Oh, Brooke...You are a compassionate girl...I miss your father so much that it hurts in my heart...I wish I had your optimism right now...", and Brookyln whispered, peering at her, "Opimissing?".
Peggy gave a little chuckle, "Optimism...It means hopefulness and confidence...", and Brookyln tilted her head in confusion, "But Mumma always having confidence and hopefulness...". Peggy sharply inhaled, realizing that her breakdown had done more than she thought...She looked down at her daughter, stroking the curls...the blonde curls that are so much like Steve...
Steve wouldn't give up on her and the children if he was injured...He would dig for anything in his belt and around him to help him...It's true that no body was recovered as far as she knew...only the compass that he wouldn't dare leave behind until he was forced to...or fought to flee when not noticing that the compass was gone...
A bit of hopefulness returned to her heart, even if she's hurting right now, and exhaled deeply, remembering Steve's plea for her to promise to keep going for their children...It's up to her to keep to that promise...And even if Schmidt is clearly dead and gone for good, there's still more Hydra on the ground, and of course, the rumor of Schmidt's base somewhere deep in the Alps...She can't afford to lose her children to Hydra when they would want revenge on the British Islands for injuring the Valkyrie, even if Steve had done the real damage on the inside...
"Mumma?", Brooklyn whispered as Peggy took a deep breath. "Sorry, Mumma's… just thinking of something a bit… crazy; but… maybe…", she said as the gears were turning in her head.
Brooklyn saw the small glint of hopefulness in her mummy's eyes, "Something good, mummy?". Peggy nodded softly, "I think so...Let's hope the others are agreeable...Where's your brother?".
"Ash being looked after gramma and grappa, me think...", Brooklyn spoke, and Peggy exhaled, raising a hand to brush her tears away, moving and getting up, holding Brookyln as she left her old bedroom, glancing momentarily at the compass on the bed, and a wave of bittersweet grief yet scorning hope hit her as she shook momentarily, "You would have supported me anyway, Steve, luv...", before finally heading down the stairs, heading to the living room.
Amanda is holding a sleepy, slightly fussy Asher in her arms as she shushed him gently, sitting on the loveseat, trying to sway him back to sleep, with Harrison nearby in his beloved chair, and they looked up in surprise and shock to see Peggy walking in, and she glanced at Harrison, "Would you get Audrey, Bucky, and if Marina is feeding right now, just get them all here, okay?".
"Is there something wrong?", Harrison asked. "I mean; I know, but I mean… you're not going to do something that none of us would want you to do?".
Peggy looked at him sharply, "Father, get the others. And it's only a discussion before we take action.", and Harrison saw a glint of familiar determination in his daughter's eyes, and relieved that she wasn't suicidal, he nodded, leaving the room to get the others. Peggy then sighed deeply as she sat on the loveseat, glancing at Amanda as she let go of Brookyln gently, putting her down on the floor where she is to play quietly with a nearby ball, "Hand me Ash, please...He sounds hungry.", with a soft, motherly, slightly grieving smile.
Amanda was relieved to see that Peggy isn't also neglecting her children as she passed Asher into Peggy's arms, using a nursing towel to hide him as Peggy took off her shirt and part of her bra, and Asher happily and hungrily took to her nipple, suckling. Peggy felt a bit better, smiling a bit more as she kissed Asher's forehead lovingly, "That's it, Ash...Drink up...", her heart panging at the mirror set of her husband's eyes in her son.
Amanda moved a bit closer, warily gazing at her daughter as she tentatively went to rub Peggy's back slowly, wanting to comfort her, and Peggy gave her a grateful, small smile, and moments later, Harrison returned with the others, with Audrey holding Marina in her feeding position, with Bucky carrying the incubator bag as they went to sit on a couch near the loveseat and Harrison's chair as he sat again. They were shocked to hear that Peggy is up and walking, though she looks horrible, having expected her to be grieving for hours...though it would still happen, but they were relieved that Brookyln had pulled her out temporarily out of the grieving process.
Bucky looked awful, having cried in Audrey's arms in their guest bedroom while Marina had slept before she got fussy for another meal, yet he exhaled, recognizing Peggy's serious expression, "Okay, we're all here, Peggy...What is on your mind?". Peggy swept her eyes over them for a moment before replying, "We need to move. We have to hide low where Hydra wouldn't find us, and no, America is still too sensitive right now, especially with Hydra possibly taking revenge...Not for us, but for the kids...If they discover that Captain America got married and had kids in the files, not that I don't trust Phillips for hiding those files where the sun wouldn't reach them, but something would still happen...And...I need to take up Steve's lead...".
"Take up his lead?", Bucky asked. "What on Earth do you mean by that?", looking confused. "Listen… there's something that everyone here needs to know; about our journey to Atlantis that neither Steve nor myself mentioned because at the time, it wasn't really necessary.", Peggy explained.
Audrey widened her eyes as she inhaled sharply, "The super soldier serum. Abraham said that he only has enough for a second time...", as she was part of the room that witnessed Steve's transformation.
Peggy took a deep breath, "I think you can then figure out what I'm thinking then…", looking at Audrey. "No…", Audrey whispered. "You're not seriously thinking about-".
Bucky connected the dots instantly, "You can't! Think of the kids, Peggy!", and Marina whimpers while she's feeding, and Audrey glares at him for a second as Bucky toned down slightly, "Steve told me that the pain was excruciating.".
Peggy looked at him, "I am thinking of the kids, Bucky...I promised him...I promised Steve, and as he mentioned that he saw that I felt similar in the same range of pain when I was giving birth to Brooke, so I can do it...Look, I can't be helpless...I can't...", with a weary sigh as she caressed softly of her nursing son's head.
"But what about-", Audrey tried to argue. "Look; if Steve is truly gone; and right now, I'm still praying that it is like Bucky and he's just missing for a while, we still need a super soldier to fight what remains of HYDRA, not to mention the Nazis even if they're on their last legs. And then of course, we'll all probably have to go to the Pacific to bring an end to the war against the Japanese. And…", Peggy took a deep breath, "I'm the only one that Abraham was sure about that this would work…".
Harrison frowned softly, "Because you just want this family to be safe, right?", having heard a few slight conditions to be a good super soldier from Steve. Peggy nodded, "That, and I am compassionate for the people, Dad.".
"I mean; still…", Bucky rubbed his arm. "It's still a big risk, isn't it? I mean, just because Steve was able to make it…". Peggy looked at him, "Face it, Bucky, I knew how he was, and after, and I know who I am, and circumstances they are, you ain't a pick...Don't get me wrong, you really got good morals and all like Steve, but I'm afraid that your body wouldn't take a second time of trauma after what happened with the train...You were so lucky that the crystal saved you mostly, and your prosthetic is something that came out of it...".
"Right… probably also my previous attitudes and all… wouldn't want to take that risk.", Bucky said. "Exactly…", Peggy sighed with a knowing look.
Amanda looked at her daughter, "You really are serious about this...", as Peggy nodded, glancing at her mother, and Amanda then glanced at her husband, and Harrison nodded, agreeing with what he can see in his wife's face, and she then replied, "If you want all of us safe, we'll go with you, daughter...After all, even if this works out after the actual procedure, you need us to look after the kids...".
Peggy widened her eyes, "But you've lived here almost all your life, you and Daddy!", and Harrison replied, "If you're right about Hydra wanting revenge, and even if I trust General Phillips to bury the files deep where the sun doesn't shine, they would always have spies to infiltrate, and discover Captain America's spouse in you, and see that Whitland is a frequent place for Steve and you, even if the reasons are blacked out, they would assume that this town is personal, like how they've attacked London only a few days ago, and other places like Paris and Berlin and such for that madman's plans, and revenge for this Zola guy he had for his plans where Steve was personally involved and that madman hated Steve...".
"Perhaps; but still, if I do this, and our efforts, HYDRA will be nothing but a memory. They've already suffered a grievous wound with the loss of their ship and Schmidt. Just a few more weeks or months of fighting and then it would all be over.", Peggy said.
Harrison then replied, "Then first things first, we'd have to subtly tell the neighbors that I and Amanda are going overseas again after a short stint of being grounded, as I have a feeling that General Phillips would want all planes and ships grounded apart from Navy or Army, to keep migrant people safe, as with London and Paris and other places that were attacked is devastated, and people would be swarming over to America or south to Africa, on thoughts of that the war's getting worse before it could be over.".
Bucky exhaled, "And I'd have to talk with him about leave time as well, since recovery for London and other places would take years and such, with the war going on, and he would be wary, but if he understands that I would need to be around for Peggy for the time of grief and such, not that I don't believe you, Peggy. Even if Steve's gone essentially for a time where he needs to recover...wherever he is, he would want me to look out for you as he's my brother.", with a firm nod.
"Thank you, Bucky.", Peggy smiled as she took a deep breath. "I… I know it's a big choice and all; but it is something that I need to do. If not me, then who, right?".
Audrey replied with a warm smile, "Don't worry, Peggy, we'll be right behind you, here, in Atlantis, or any other place.", before Marina patted her above her breast, and she glanced down to see Marina smacking her lips quietly, letting go of her nipple, and she smiled softly, handing her over to Bucky while adjusting her bra and shirt again, as Bucky burped her gently, and then let her play with his crystal for a few minutes before she's to be put back in the incubator sling.
Peggy smiled at Audrey, "Thanks, Audrey.", before feeling a tug at her hair, and glanced down to see her son yawning and full, letting go of her nipple, and she smiled gently, "Bedtime for you, darling.", as she recovered her bra and shirt back down, glancing momentarily to see blonde hair, instinctively moving to pass Ash into her husband's arms, "Your turn, luv-", before her breath caught, realizing that Brookyln was peering up at her from her spot on the floor, having mistaken Brookyln for Steve momentarily, and a wave of grief crashed into her as she stifled a sob, and took a hasty breath, "Time for you to go to bed, Brooke...", as she got up from the couch, just wanting to go back to bed and grieve, even if she's still praying that Steve could be just like Bucky, recovering.
Brooke looked at her, "Me not want Mumma be alone...", and Amanda gently reprimanded her, "Brookyln, you comforted her enough for now...your mother needs to be alone to...let all the grief go, otherwise she'd be stressed from holding it all the time for you and Ash to act strong, but it's time for you to let your mother be, and she will let you know when she needs your wonderful comfort, okay?".
Brookyln gave a small nod, listening to her grandmum as Audrey sighed, "It'll be alright; she just needs time, she knew your Papa longer than you after all…".
Peggy gave her a shaky, small, appreciative smile, and gently took Brookyln's little hand into hers, as the small trio left the living room, with Brookyln tentatively walking up the stairs this time, with Peggy being patient, and took the little ones to one of the guest rooms that is currently the nursery for all three of them, with a big girl bed for Brookyln as she climbed into bed, watching her mummy putting Ash into one of the cribs with a feathery kiss on his forehead as he yawned and cooed, snuggling into his blanket after being burped and swayed a bit in Peggy's arms.
Peggy then helped Brookyln change for bed, soon brushing her hair as Brookyln eventually yawned, and Peggy smiled a bit, kissing her daughter's forehead as she helped tuck her into her blankets, "Good night, sweetheart...Remember that I and...Dada loves you...", and Brookyln gave her a sleepy kiss on her mummy's cheek, "Me know...Me love you, Mumma, and me love Dada...Do Dada know too?".