I don't own Twilight. What I own is my character's behavior, personality, background, and plot of the story.
Thanks to my Beta MadMooey18 for her constant support and help in making this story what it is today.
Edward tightens his arms around Bella as he pats her back awkwardly. She wails louder. Edward looks around the Swans living room hoping for someone to save him, but unfortunately finds that Renee and Phil had made their escape. His shoulders drop and he sighs in defeat knowing it's up to him to help her feel better.
"I know that you love Tanya and Irina and you miss them so much, but it's not like they moved to another continent. They moved to Port Angeles," Edward tells her soothingly.
Yanking herself away from him, she wipes away her tears aggressively and glares at him as she demands, "Are you mocking me?"
Edward shakes his head in defence and takes a step back from her. In the last two, almost three years, Bella has gotten a mean fist that she is never shy from using and given her discomfort with crying and being vulnerable, he wouldn't be surprised if she used it.
She has never used it on him before, but there's always a first time for everything.
"Of course not, Bella. I just think your crying is disproportionate to the event," he tells her, raising his hand in a peaceful motion.
Bella glares at him and tells him, "Remember that, and don't cry when the next Marvel crap comes out and I don't let you get it."
That is something Bella got him into recently. Boycotting companies whose values don't align with them. Marvel got on their list once the character Sabra was introduced into the MCU.
Edward takes a deep breath then sits on the sofa and wonders, "What is really wrong, Bella?"
"I miss Tanya. What else?" she tells him, confused by his question.
"I know you better than that. Something else is bothering you."
Bella shakes her head, looks at her feet then mumbles something about getting water from the kitchen. "Don't do this, Bella. Don't run away when I get too close to the truth," Edward implores her as he gets up and follows her into the kitchen.
Bella doesn't look in his direction and turns to the fridge and sticks her head into it as she tells him, "I am not. I am genuinely thirsty. You always say that dehydration makes ADHD symptoms worse. This is me taking your advice."
Edward takes the water bottles from her and closes the fridge behind her then stands in front of her trapping her between himself and the fridge. "Get out of the way," she demands in anger having zero interest in playing Edward's games. Usually, when she is in a good mood, she will giggle at him trapping her like that, but not today.
"Not until you tell me what is wrong," Edward demands, taking a step toward her.
Bella jerks her head to the side and tells him, "Nothing is wrong."
"Wrong answer," Edward tells her, smirking as he takes another step toward her.
Suddenly, Bella notices that Edward smells good, like insanely good, and his lips seem super moisturized. Bella finds herself wondering what Chapstick he's using, and what it tastes like. Also, how come she has never realized that he has the prettiest eyes she has ever seen?
"Everyone leaves me!" she blurts out in horror at all of the thoughts running through her mind. This is Edward she is thinking about. Why is she having such thoughts about him? Does she have a crush on him? "No."
Edward looks at her in confusion as he takes a step away from her and asks, "Did you just disagree with yourself?"
Bella shakes her head as she tells him, "Of course not. You need to go. I have my online painting class."
She needs to be as far away from him as possible to think. There is no way she has a crush on him, or worse, is in love with him. She grimaces as that thought runs through her head.
"Nice try, but you can't get rid of me that easily. It starts in thirty minutes. We need to talk about what you just said," Edward tells her going to the living room.
Bella follows him and tells him, "There is nothing to talk about."
"Yes, there is. Your stupid assumption that everyone is leaving you."
Bella huffs to herself as she throws herself on the couch and tells him, "It's not an assumption, and I am not stupid."
"I said that your assumption was stupid, not you, but now that you mention it, you are onto something." Before he can finish his sentence, a throw pillow comes flying his way and he ducks to avoid it.
Bella folds her arms across her chest and tells him, "This isn't a joking matter."
"Neither is it a true one either," Edward rebuttals.
"Dad, Jamie, Tanya, and Irina. Everyone will eventually leave me. Heck, you will probably leave!"
Bella blinks away her tears as she glares furuosly at him. She hates showing her emotions and being vulnerable. Even with Edward, she hates it. She feels like she is needy and she isn't needy. She is strong, smart and doesn't need anyone, or anything. She hates that he made her feel that way.
She should not have blurted that out. She should have shoved him on his ass. That is what he deserves for making her like him.
God, she is going to be so pathetic from now onward. Will she be one of those girls that stares in longing at her friend and sigh in dejection when he doesn't pick her?
Edward stares at Bella in silence as he tries to figure out the right thing to say to her now. The wrong thing could make her explode, or break into even more tears. Theoretically, he knows that emotional outbursts come with the territory of ADHD. They come strongly like a volcano eruption and then eventually they are gone. Not to say that all emotions go away or are temporary, but to say that many are. Emotional regulation for being with ADHD is very difficult.
"I am sure it feels that way, but it's not true," he finally tells her after clearing his throat.
Bella rolls her eyes at him and tells him, "Don't sell me this shit. I am the one who taught it to you."
"Then you know I am using it the right way," he tells her, smirking.
When debating someone, validate their feelings, and then explain to them why the idea they built that feeling is incorrect.
Bella was the one who taught him what she learned from her mum. Validating someone's feelings disarms them and makes them feel seen, and we heard which in turn makes them more agreeable to listening to what you have to say.
Bella simply raises an eyebrow in a challenge and tells him, "How exactly is my statement not true?"
Rising to the challenging look in her eyes, Edward straightens his back and shoves his glasses up his nose then gently reminds her, "Your father died. He didn't leave you. We both know if he was given a choice, he would have stayed. Jamie didn't leave you. His father was drinking and abusing his mother and she got tired of that and decided to get away from him. She couldn't have left Jamie behind and you know that. He didn't choose to leave. That choice was made for him. Same with Tanya and Irina, they didn't leave because they wanted to. Their family made them. Plus, between the two of us, you are the one who will likely leave Forks first. You always complain about the lack of activism and volunteering options."
Bella cracks a smile at his last sentence. "That is true. There aren't enough people to do any meaningful activism or volunteering."
"You should listen more to what I say. I know what I'm talking about," he tells her, smiling back.
Smirking, Bella tells him, "Not when it come to predicting the ending of the movies we watch. No you don't."
Edward huffs and complains, "Some day I am going to prove that you cheat by looking up the ending before we watch them."
"There is this place called denial. Have you ever heard about it?" she tells him, wiggling her eyebrows.
Edward just smiles and decides to keep his mouth shut figuring that it's not always that she has a smile on her face, and for him, nothing comes close to the feeling he gets when she is happy. Maybe having his mum's chocolate chip cookies is close, but nothing else.
"Do you want to like, watch something together?"
Edward shakes his head and tells him, "Can't. Your class will start in less than 10 minutes and I promised Mum that I would go home to help her with the garden before she has to start making dinner."
"Dang it!" Bella sighs in disappointment. "Okay, let me close the door behind you then," she tells him then stands up.
He stands up too and follows her to the door. "Speaking of people leaving, guess who is coming back to Forks?" he asks her, remembering in the doorway what his father told him.
"Don't know," Bella tells him shrugging, not bothering to guess.
Edward rolls his eyes at her lack of enthusiasm, and says, "Jamie. Jamie is coming. Dad is his father's sobriety mentor and he told dad that his son is moving back with him since his mother remarried."
"I guess that's good," Bella tells him shrugging as she closes the door. She is neither interested or uninterested. She is neutral. Plus, she has more important things to think of; namely her crush on Edward.
She climbs up the stairs then logs onto her Zoom call and gets her easel ready while the rest of the class joins in. She primes her canvas while her lecturer gives the initial instructions and then gets to painting once given the green light.
The only conscious decision she makes is to employ the tactic the lecturer mentions. She lets her subconscious take the reins as she goes to town with the couple of brushes she uses and paints. She lets all of her thoughts, fears, and anxieties do the painting for her.
For Bella, painting often feels like meditation, but not this time. The more she lets her feelings come to the surface, the more she finds.
A loud blaring sound breaks her out of her trance. "Okay, everyone. This is it for today. I expect you to finish your painting by tonight and send me pictures for feedback."
Bella sighs in exhaustion and sits at her desk to turn to her laptop and log out of the Zoom meeting. She opens her Spotify account and puts on a playlist and returns to her easel to see if there is a point in salvaging it. Maybe she should start a new one for her lecturer.
More times than not, Bella finds herself not feeling good enough about the work she doesn't plan out and needs to start from scratch, but not this time. She is surprised by what she painted and how good it is.
She painted one green eye.
"Please tell me there is something fun we could do. I am fucking bored," Edward whines to Bella as he throws himself on the bench beside her.
"You could always join the football team," Emmett suggests since football is the only sport Forks high school has.
"No thanks. I would rather keep the brain cells I have intact," Edward rebuttals quickly.
Emmett shrugs his shoulders unoffended and continues eating. He knows that he isn't the smartest person on earth, but he isn't stupid either. He doesn't plan on doing football long term. He wants to get a degree in business and then start a business with the trust fund his grandparents set for him to access at 25. He is just playing football because there is nothing to do in Forks.
"What about taking your girlfriend on a date?"
"She isn't my girlfriend," Edward quickly tells Bella not wanting her to think him and Angela are serious.
Bella is confused by his answer and turns to glance at Emmett who just shrugs at her and goes back to eating his burger.
Bella rolls her eyes at Emmett's cluelessness and turns to Edward and asks him, "I thought she liked you?"
"She does," he answers, drinking from his juice.
"Then what is the problem?"
Edward sighs then tells her, "The problem is that I don't like her back and it's not fair to her to do that."
"Then why the fuck did you ask her to begin with?" Bella asks him in confusion, coming off more aggressive than she meant to.
"I thought that if we hung out together enough, I would like her, but I didn't."
He doesn't tell her that Angela has some aspects of her personality and interests and he wanted to test to see if those traits are specifically the ones that made him like her. They weren't. He found hanging out with Angela to be the most uninteresting thing ever.
Bella in that moment is too busy in her head to notice how Edward half-assed his way through his explanation and didn't look her in the eyes. A telltale sign that he is lying.
Instead, she finds herself with the answer to her earlier question. What to do with her feelings for Edward? Don't tell him. Unless Edward starts liking her back and asks her out, it won't work out. He might date her for a month or two like poor Angela, but at the end of the day, he will dump her.
Bella wouldn't handle him doing that to her. Worst of all, their friendship wouldn't handle that, and she will never ever risk their friendship like that.
She has no option, but to never tell him her feelings towards him, ever.
Hello lovely people,
So Bella now likes Edward back, and Edward is trying to dissect his interest in Bella.
What do you think of how things are going between them? Let me know your thoughts in the review section. I am always to read your thoughts, predictions, and constructive criticism.
That said, I have something of my own I wanna talk about: you can call it a minor criticism of a minor in this fandom.
Why are some writers too comfortable with pedophilia?
When ever I read a story and find it to contain a relationship of a predatory nature, I over look it, and stop reading the story all together, but this other day I came across one that was hard of me to ignore.
It's one thing to have a 17-year-old girl date a guy in his twenties, but it's a different ball game altogether when 5 brothers in their twenties choose to go after high school girls.
Romanticizing 5 grown ass men preying on high school girls is not a artistic or plot related choice. It's a choice to endorse and promote pedophilia and child exploitation.
I am not going to rant more about it here. I have done enough of that in a post on my blog, but I hope you guys don't read the stories by those writers. Let them feel isolated and the social outcasts they are. Maybe then they will stop posting their poisonous ideas.
Until my next update,
Stat Safe