August 22, 1997

"I met your father today."

The words Percy spoke rang through my ears and my gut swam, the room tilted slightly for a moment before I regained my composure.

I waited too long and lost all control of this situation.

I could see an old copy of the New York Ghost that Percy probably picked up from the American baker down the street on the end table next to Percy. It had a picture of my family from the election period featuring Annette, Jack, Vanessa and Aldridge. Beneath the picture was my name and my brother's as not pictured.

There was an older copy of the New York Ghost sitting next to it, open to an article about my father's Senate victory a few years ago. There I was standing next to Alex, who looked very disassociated from everything around him as the flashing lights went off in a flurry. Jack was graying, but not as intensely and there I was as a child, holding my mother's hand and shielding my eyes with my other hand while my mother plastered on a smile. I remembered that day, I was wearing a blue dress that mom said brought out my eyes.

A more recent article was an clipped out featuring me with my long black hair hanging loose and dress the same inky black color with an itchy lace collar and cuffs on the sleeves that Vanessa had picked out, helping me look both extremely pale and awkward in a teenage way that all thirteen year olds do. Alex had just left a couple of months earlier and I was still in shock. Vanessa was in the picture holding Annette who seemed to refuse to be still even in the picture as she played with the hem of her pink ruffled robes and was committed to looking anywhere else but the camera. Jack was the only one who appeared relaxed of course. Nice things were said about Senator Graves and his very nice family, warmly affirming that I was a top student at Ilvermorny and describing my appearance in almost poetic terms, setting me up as a catch for more then just my surname, though being a Graves would override every good quality I possessed in society's eyes.

"I can't believe I never noticed. That I never put those pieces together."

My words stopped and stalled in my throat, choking me with the burden of truth and the sour taste of a deception discovered. I stepped back away from Percy as he rose from his seat, giving me a look that reminded me so much of my father in that moment that I felt my composure attempt to slip away before I pulled myself back together.

"I…"

I did not know what to say. What do you say to someone you love after you get too comfortable in the false reality, the lie, that you created? How does one explain the effect of power to a man who has always wanted it for himself? Now I need to dig into my nasty family history and hope for forgiveness.

"I'm sorry you had to find out this way." Percy's expression was stern and unmoving, looking far older then twenty-one. "I was going to tell you-"

"You were going to tell me? When were you planning to do that exactly?" The sarcasm from Percy had a bitter, caustic edge to it that began to boil my blood even before he spoke again. "Were you going to tell me this week? Next month? Or after I married you?"

Oh, that was quite offensive!

"Don't stretch it! I would have told you long before that! It would not be fair to you to not know about my family."

"It was not fair for me to be blindsided by your father!"

I winced. In that Percy was correct.

"I should have heard about your father being the bloody president of MACUSA from you! I should've never been ambushed like that!" Percy pinched the bridge of his nose for a moment, one of his little gestures to starve off a headache that I had been growing more familiar with in the last year. He stepped back from me and paced around the room as he continued to gather his thoughts. His hair was a mess, out of its usual part and moving in a few different directions. He stopped and turned suddenly to look at me with a look on his face that I had never seen before, something hollowed out and battered.

What had my father said to him?

"You lied to me!"

Yes and no, my father does work in wand management, I just never mentioned the sheer scale of it.

"You lied to me for over a year! Almost two years!"

I took a deep breath, he's in shock, he's had time to think, I just need to stay calm. There is no point in both of us flying off the handle.

"Why did you think that was necessary? By Merlin, Audrey!" He was looking at me with a look that spoke of his injured pride and the anger I knew he would feel at my deception. Maybe that was part of the reason I couldn't say anything at all about it. "What else are you hiding? Because if you're able to lie with a straight face about your own family-"

"I haven't lied about anything else, and I don't appreciate the accusation!"

"That's a pretty bold statement at this point!"

"You don't know what it's like!" My voice was snappish and harsh like ice as I felt my control begin to slip away. "All I was supposed to do is sit there quietly and benefit my father's career!" My voice grew high and mocking as the words flew out of me without restraint. "Sit up Audrey! Smile for the camera Audrey! Make Jack look like a devoted family man! That's not a life!"

Oh, this felt good! The last time I raised my voice was when I left the Byrgen House and the adrenaline had left the memories a bit vague at the edges in some places.

"Every part of my life was constructed to benefit Jack's career! My parents hated each other, I only exist because they thought another child would fix the cracks! It didn't! Big surprise!" My voice rose, fifteen years of rage coming out in a torrent that I could not stop as Percy's expression remained hard. "I did everything I could after my mom died to try and do everything right and that was not enough to keep my brother from disappearing for five years! It was not enough for my father, who only sees me as a prop for his career! I spent my whole life living a lie, weeding out people who want me for my family connections and not me as a person! Why wouldn't I take an opportunity to see if people liked Audrey and not just the Graves family name?"

I started to laugh. It's so stupid, but I just could not stop. My life was ridiculous! So stupid that even explaining it left me feeling like a lunatic.

"I've been a prop in someone else's story from the time I was born!" With every word I spoke my conviction and my anger grew like an inferno. It was hot in my belly but frigid at the heart as I continued to voice every grievance I had with my father. With Alex. And Percy too. "Yes! I lied to you! Why wouldn't I? All you have ever wanted was political power! A high ranking job where people would respect you for your position if nothing else." I laughed bitterly. "But the position doesn't promise respect! I sure don't have any respect for Jack because I know what he's like and dammit Percy you are some warped image of him!"

"Excuse me!"

"You're very idealistic about power only going to good, trusted people, who have good morals and sound judgment but that's never the case! Might makes right! The system exists for a reason! The system is perfect! Do you think money and power will make you happy? Do you think it will make you feel safe? Secure? Content? That people will love you for it?" I shook my head. "Money has never made me happy! Power brought me no peace!"

"Heh, comfort and connections into a career must be so disappointing." The sarcasm rolling off Percy was far from the playful type I was accustomed to from him. "Everything I've achieved I did on my own despite my family and everything you accomplished was with daddy's influence!"

"I earned my job with Elihu! He's with the other party!"

But haven't you always wondered just a bit…?

"At least you had a normal life, with a normal family while I was part of a facade that only benefitted one person!"

"Relationships don't work when they're built on lies!" Percy snapped, "Either we're honest with each other or this will not work!"

I winced. Did I have any good models for good partnerships? My aunt and uncle had a fantastic relationship, dad and Vanessa were… well, they liked each other enough. I struggle to communicate sometimes. I did not have good examples of a functioning relationship on a regular basis as a child. Am I cut out to be vulnerable with another person? Able to be open enough to allow for a real relationship built on trust? I'm probably really screwed up, but that's okay… Right?

"Your brother said his name was Theo."

"My brother lies far more than I do. His name is Alex, I'm sure you've figured that out," I gestured towards the papers that were sitting on the side table. "He's an investigative journalist, he's written for papers all over Britain and Europe. Alex left home when I was thirteen, I came here to find him. I found a man who did not want to be found who wants little if anything to do with me."

"You've mentioned that before."

I sighed, "I've lied, but some parts of my life were not." I wrung my hands to try and have something else to focus on. "I have a baby brother named Aldridge, Vanessa is my stepmother and while she loves her children, she can't extend that courtesy to me or Alex. Frankly, political families are messy-"

"You're bloody correct on that!" Percy snapped, his eyes blazing and his temper still hot. "Your father offered me money to end things with you!"

My stomach dropped. "What?"

He smiled darkly, a sick sense of humor over the offense. "He offered to pay me to end our relationship. Also that he would ease my way out of Britain to work for MACUSA on the condition that I never see you again!"

That… that was so far over the line. I could see how that would shake Percy, my father had severely offended Percy's pride.

"How did he find out? Elihu doesn't know about this! I turned him from this months ago!"

He shrugged, "I don't know."

My father practices osteomancy, he's not a seer, but I knew throwing the small bones he kept in a leather pouch in his office helped to clear his head and it was the only way he could divine the future or see beyond the veil for answers with any real skill. There was a little bit of sight in my family, nothing powerful, just a bit of instinct and occasional inclinations that could be written off as chance or luck by those who did not believe in such things. I couldn't even say if Jack believed it or not, it was just something he picked up from relatives and friends of the family. Surely he would not rely on bone throwing to confirm his suspicions about… Oh that is exactly what happened.

I can feel it in my bones.

I almost wanted to ask how much had been offered just as a curiosity, but I had a feeling that question would not be well received.

A year of Percy's salary with a little extra would not be out of reach. Jack was good at researching things like that and had deep, personal pockets.

"Are you hiding anything else?"

My mind ran through my brother being deeply undercover with the Death Eaters and his girlfriend (fiancee? Wife?I didn't even know anymore) being a werewolf, my great-aunt hiding Muggle-born children in her home… and my ability to talk to snakes that had left me so horrified and disgusted after Scrimgeour's murder that I was not sure I should ever engage in the practice again and perhaps believe it was only my active imagination the way my father insisted at the zoo.

What were my stories to tell?

"I've hidden the three Carter girls with my great-aunt."

Percy looked at me with a blank expression before holding up his hand. "I don't need to know any more about that right now."

No, because I don't have any answers for you. Talking about it leaves us both exposed and I will not do that to you unless you tell me yourself.

Leaving the door open was the kindest thing.

Percy pulled out his wand and summoned a blanket from the bedroom along with his favorite pillow and placed them on the couch. I did not need to think for too long about why, we were in no state to share a bed and Percy was intensely chivalrous.

"That's not necessary," I said quickly, trying to be just and fair about my being the screw up in this relationship. "If either of us should sleep on the couch, it's me."

"I fully agree," He began to fluff the pillow and place the blanket at the other end of the couch in a way that was so pretentious it was mocking. "But I don't want your father to think I'm taking advantage!"

Oh, fuck your chivalry!

Fine! Be uncomfortable. I hope you wake up with a crick in your neck and a knot in your back!

Clearly this discussion was over and I decided that whatever kind of pissing match this was, I was going to go stew in my temper in a nice, comfortable bed where I would lay right in the middle of the mattress like a starfish in an act of spite.

I turned away and stormed down the hallway into the bedroom and closed the door louder than I should have.

The next several hours were spent stewing in my own temper. My anger at my father for… well, being an ass. Percy, for electing to show his ass. And myself, for my cowardice.

This unholy trilogy of tempers and righteousness could send a person over the edge of a cliff.

I slept alone that night, reaching across the bed to the empty space Percy usually occupied as light streamed through the window, either manmade or natural moonlight, I could not tell and I did not care to know. I was alone with myself and my thoughts, taking in the familiar smell of the sheets as I moved to the center of the bed, wrapping the blanket around myself as I did so.

This had gone horribly wrong.

I'm not good at this relationship thing, am I?

Would it hurt less to end it?

I heaved a sigh and wiped silent tears on the comforter.

No.

I wanted… I wanted to be a better person. I wanted to experience open trust with another person who knew about me and my screwed up life. It would be so easy to live my life alone, away from other people and perpetually shut myself away emotionally. I'm a person. I'm a person before I'm Jack Graves daughter and maybe I finally felt I could learn to be free of that.

I knew what I wanted, who I wanted, and that would have to be enough going forward.

Percy and I spent the next week quiet and companionable. He came back to bed a couple of days later, past the time our tempers had cooled and we resumed our usual peace after a series of whispered apologies we found hard to do in the light of day. I apologized for not being honest with him sooner. Percy apologized for flying off the handle. He did not ask about Lucinda's little scheme, he did not want to know right now, and instead we spent hours laying awake and talking about anything and everything else.

I gathered Percy was a lonely, anxious child, but he never described himself that way. Lonely people can find other lonely people if they're open to it. He told me he had as normal a life as could be expected, his father worked a politically dead end job until Scrimgeour came to power and promoted him finally. His mother managed to raise all seven of her children to adulthood on her husband's single salary and farming resources from chickens, an expansive orchard and her garden of plants both magical and otherwise. Really, I thought I would quite like his mother.

He spoke of his family's poverty, how he had begun week in old Hogwarts robes of his father's with the school stitching taken off and as cleaned and spelled as he and his mother could manage. Second-hand robes were a common occurrence in the house and getting anything new was really a special occasion or reward.

In turn, I finally spoke the truth of my life. My father enjoyed children, but was not sure what to do with teenagers, let alone teenage girls. We had a family home called the Byrgen House that had been in my family for over two hundred years where I had grown up and the house was as emotionally empty as a tomb. I was a bit of a family failure for not being a talented duelist, a thing that was a valued skill for a family so proud of their generational service as Aurors. My family had power, influence and financial security but it never made a happy family. I did promise to introduce him to Tinsy, a House Elf who famously had no boundaries and was probably going to cause an international statute of secrecy incident.

I mentioned my father's affair with Vanessa, that my mother had been dying during the time it was occurring, the mere skeleton of this story was enough for Percy to sit up in bed and look at me with an expression of disgust at my father's actions. I managed to get Percy to lay back down and curl against his side before changing the topic.

How different our early lives were was absolutely fascinating.

"I like the idea of a little country house," My hand was moving slowly as I traced the top of his sleep pants. "It sounds idyllic."

"It was barely big enough for nine people. We had one loo."

If I mentioned we had three bathrooms for four to six people that would just make me obnoxious.

"So, what do you want in the future?"

It did not take Percy long to answer. "A house where we don't have upstairs neighbors." He looked pointedly up at the ceiling where I had placed a silencing charm to erase the obnoxious noises of our newlywed upstairs neighbors and all that entailed. Though the light on the ceiling still swayed rhythmically. "Really, it's been an hour!"

I covered my mouth to giggle quietly while Percy moved his hand so his fingers could play with the strap of my nightgown.

"I take it you want a house with two bathrooms?"

"That sounds fantastic. Also a bit of property at the back with no immediate neighbors."

"I think you just don't want any neighbors."

Percy's fingers traced down my spine slowly. "We don't have good luck with neighbors."

I nodded slowly in agreement as I shifted closer to him and kissed a spot on Percy's neck that I knew he liked that made him shiver and pull me closer.

"I don't care if you become Minister or not," I said slowly, broaching the topic that I had been putting thought into for over a year. "Frankly I'd prefer the latter because I've lived that life and it won't be kind to either of us."

Percy pulled back to say something, I put a finger to his lips.

"Do what you want, I'll support you, I'll help you, but I'm not going to be trotted out like a horse or a prize. Elizabeth Fudge had the right idea, staying out of the papers and having a private life as much as she was able was a stroke of brilliance. That's what I want. I have enough problems being a president's daughter, I'm not going to add the issue of being a Minister's wife into that. It's best people forget as much as they're able to anyway, it would only bring up the question of MACUSA's influence on your candidacy and politics. I think Jack's about to burn a bridge with Britain anyway. Not a good look for you in twenty years."

"How long is your father's term?"

"Seven years. He can get twenty-one years if he wins three elections."

"Godric and Merlin."

September came at last and shattered our final sense of peace and security.

Oo0Oo0

Author's Note: Audrey's aired out her damage. Her extensive damage and called Percy out on his too. She's had her snapping episode folks!

On a more somber note, I'm taking a slightly longer hiatus than usual. I have exams at the end of April. In May, I start my dissertation paper, which I have been told last week is actually a preassigned case study (sigh) and I'm told that's all I do over the summer. We'll see. I'm good at papers. Posting will resume by May 14th featuring… Harry's shenanigans. A growing scheme. Facism. And (finally) smut.