Chapter Sixteen.

The Marauders Discover Moony's Secret

As the first year at Hogwarts for Remus Lupin came to a close, he was starting to find it increasingly difficult to give excuses for his monthly absences and not stress about whether or not they would believe it.

At first it was his grandmothers death and subsequent funeral. When he went home over Christmas, he was able finally to give his parents an in-person account of the full details of how his transformations had gone at Hogwarts.

He was unable to openly discuss them through owl post for safety reasons with the First Wizarding War in full swing per prior agreement with Dumbledore. So Lyall and Hope naturally wondered, worried, and had to trust that no news was good news through Remus' on-going letters home writing about other matters.

His parents were greatly relieved to hear that he was well cared for by Madam Pomfrey and that he had been successful at using the safe house aka the Shrieking Shack for full moons.

As they discussed possible strategies for how to continue to keep his condition secret, Hope Lupin insisted that he use the excuse that she was battling some kind of on-going chronic illness that required him to make frequent visits home.

That excuse about his mother being ill did indeed help cover up the mystery of his regular absences. However, Remus still worried that his sickly appearance on a regular monthly basis would blow his cover.

It was hard not to lie down in peace in the dormitory some nights when his face grew pale and avoid having his anxiety get carried away that his secret would get discovered by his mates.

Sooner or later they will put two and two together... and realize my ill appearance always lines up with a full moon. Then what?

They'll surely feel disgusted, betrayed, lied to, outraged, demand that I leave the dorm, the school, and I'll be back to my lonely burdensome existence with my parents again.

But much to Remus's great relief, when the first year at Hogwarts wrapped up in June, 1971, none of his mates had discovered his secret.

"Got any summer holiday plans, Remus?" James asked as they were walking to one of their last class sessions of History of Magic together.

"I'm not sure yet. Sometimes my parents rent a cottage in the Scottish Highlands west coast area for a holiday. I haven't heard anything about it, though, and things are bit unsettled with my mother being ill. How about you?" Remus answered.

"We're flying to Spain. Looking forward to the nice warm beaches, enjoying fruity drinks... mmmm, like Tepache de Piña or Agua fresca, and Muggle motorbikes are definitely fun to buzz around on through the streets," James said excitedly.

"That sounds lovely. Enjoy, mate," Remus replied.

"Yeah, thanks, it'll be grand.

I hope your mum gets well and you're able to get some nice sunshine somewhere, mate. You get so dreadfully pale sometimes, Merlin I worry about you.

I'm trying to convince my father to take me to a Quidditch game, too. That's what would truly be grand. I've always been a fan of the Chudley Cannons, they've got such a top notch seeker. That would be thrilling to see him play.

How about you, Remus? Which team do you route for?" James asked as the two of them got seated in the History of Magic classroom.

James had a far off look in his eyes like he was envisioning Quidditch moves and definitely not on their current class topic of the past Goblin wars.

Remus's heart rate had sped up nervously when James mentioned his pale face and worrying about him sometimes. He really wished he wouldn't worry about him but he understood it was just out of friendly genuine concern.

Or was it?

Thankfully he had switched topics. Quidditch, quidditch teams... come on Remus, which team did his father route for? Oh yeah.

"Oh. Well, my Dad is from Wales so he's always been a Caerphilly Catapults fan," Remus replied.

James replied, "Oh really? The Caerphilly Catapults are a pretty good ol' team. They got slammed by the Tutshill Tonados Seeker making a record in '21. Did you ever hear about that?"

Remus answered, "No. What happened?"

James said, "'Twas the Caerphilly Catapults against the Tutshill Tornados in 1921 and the Tornado's Seeker Roderick Plumpton made a huge English record by catching the snitch in three-and-a-half seconds. Damn that's fast, like a eye-blink and the game is done."

"Whoah! That's a nutty fast catch. My father still wears an old shirt he got in '56 when the Caerphilly Catapults won their only European Cup. They defeated the Karasjok Kites of Norway. Even though the green and red vertical stripes are faded and the shirt has gotten quite shabby, he still wears it proud and will likely wear it until the threads fall off his body," Remus laughed while opening up his History of Magic textbook flipping to the Goblin Wars section he had carefully marked.

He certainly would not miss fighting to stay awake through Professer Binns monotone, dull lectures this summer. But he knew for sure he'd miss his mates and would be counting down the time until he could return to Hogwarts for his second year.

Remus tapped James lightly on the arm. Then offered him a box under the table that he pulled out of his rucksack.

He whispered, "Care for some Fizzing Whizzbees Dad got bought some for me at Diagon Alley during my last visit home."

James eyes got a twinkle of delight and taking the box he said, "Oh Yesss! Nice. Don't mind if I do. Cheers!"

Sirius and Peter had entered the classroom and arrived at their table.

"Hello mates, what do we got here today?" Sirius suspiciously said while peeking under the table at their covert interaction of goods.

Then after blatantly eyeing and recognizing the box that Remus passed to James, Sirius pulled out his own sweets with a smirk and said,

"Aaaah, those are nice. How about we add some of my coconut ice to the mix today? I dare you to try the fizzing & ice at the same time."

Soon there was something about combination of Fizzing Whizzbees and coconut ice sweets that set off a comical series of intermittent cracks, pops, and bangs from the four boys throughout class that day. The boys were also seen floating a few inches off their chairs by other students who mostly rolled their eyes at them.

Their ghost Professor Binns as usual remained completely oblivious to the new odd sounds and movement coming from the mischief makers. He simply droned on and on reading non-stop from the textbook.

The summer months of crawled by agonizing slow for Remus and despite his parents repeated reassurance to him that he was not a bother, he still felt guilty for being a burden again to them.

He hated the damage he caused from his transformations to their house. There were days he insisted on working to repair a shattered window and broken down door with his father.

The two looked rather comical as they couldn't stop trading apologies to each other for the overall predicament.

Hope finally put a stop to their ridiculous apology trading when she firmly threatened them both with saying,

"If I hear one of you say you're sorry one more time, I'm not letting either of you eat any of the chocolate pudding I made. I'll eat it all up myself."

That was effective to shut them up.

Getting back to Platform Nine and Three Quarters on September the first just couldn't arrive soon enough. When the day arrived to begin his second year, it was a tremendous joy like he had never known to see his mates again and share a train car together. He didn't have a lot to share from his own lonely summer months but enjoyed hearing the rest of them chatter non-stop about their experiences.

The first several months of his second year, Remus was able to successfully use the excuse of his mother being ill again to cover for his absences. They were sorry to hear her condition had not improved.

Then one night, as they were peaking through telescopes on the Astronomy tower of the castle, James noticed Remus was intentionally not looking through his telescope as they were instructed to do at the waxing gibbous moon.

In the increasing light of the nearly full moon, James observed that Remus had the same pale, weak, ill expression that had plagued him off and on their first year. He suddenly wondered if there was a correlation between the two.

James noticed Remus was still not looking through the telescopes like the rest of the class. Instead, he cast a quick glance up at the moon and had a somewhat disgusted, annoyed expression.

Then his eyes found James's deliberate stare at him and he looked spooked.

Though still looking startled, Remus managed to mouth silently at him, "What?"

James just shook his head and waved at him like it was nothing. Then Remus nodded and immediately saddled up to his telescope pointed at the moon like the rest of the class.

But was it really nothing though?

Could the full moon and Remus's ill appearance be related to each other?

Later, instead of his usual attempts at sneak peaks of Lily Evans or buzzing thoughts about his exciting new role as the Seeker on the Gryffindor team during Defense Against the Dark Arts class, James kept pondering his suspicion about Remus.

What does this mean?

Maybe his mother is not the ill one, maybe it was really Remus who has been... and still is the ill individual who needed to sneak away.

James was not sitting by Remus in Defense Against the Dark arts class that day. Remus was sitting by Peter at the opposite end of the table. So James flipped to the section of their textbook about werewolves. He held one side of the book cover up to be more discreet.

How could Remus possibly be a werewolf, though?

The idea seemed completely preposterous considering how kind and good-natured Remus always acted. When he looked at the monstrous evil illustrations in the werewolf section of his textbook it especially looked unbelievable to be connected to Remus of all people.

James cast a quick glance over at Remus who appeared to be listening very intently to the lecture. He knew it was Remus's favorite subject so it didn't surprise him to see his mate looking like he was trying to absorb every word.

What about those scratch marks on his face?

Remus had explained they were related to a past experience with his Dad from an unfortunate close encounter with a Grindylow. But now James wondered if that was really the truth.

What if they were self-inflicted?

Almost as if he was sensing the suspicion from James, Remus slowly turned and looked at him catching him staring again. This time Remus frowned at him and cast him a questioning look.

Then Sirius who was sitting between the two of them noticed and followed Remus' eyes to James with an equally questioning look.

"What is it?" Sirius whispered.

James improvised to hide his suspicions by quickly pulling out his stash of sugar quills he had purchased at Gambol and Japes Wizarding Joke Shop in Diagon Alley over the summer. He quietly showed them the sugar quills under the table and raised his eyebrows.

Peter, who seemed to always sniff out when sweets were to be had, caught on to something happening at their table and nodded enthusiastically yes when he saw the offer. James passed Peter, Remus and Sirius each some sugar quills from his stash.

Peter and Sirius immediately started chewing happily on them but Remus carefully put his away. He smiled at James and gave him a kind, appreciative nod and then continued studiously taking notes with his regular quill.

James noticed the sleeve of Remus's robe had slid backward down his arm a bit while he was writing notes. Then when they were practicing the wand movement reviewing a jinx against Hags, he cast a quick inconspicuous glance at his wrist again.

Scars. More scars.

Could those be self-inflicted too?

Hhhhmmm.

James was curious. Very curious. He couldn't put the suspicion out of his head. The idea kept rolling around in the forefront of his mind but he decided to not say anything about it yet. He also decided to wait and see if Remus would again disappear at the time of the full moon.

Sure enough, Remus gave the same excuse about needing to go visit his sick mother and James peeked out the window the night he was gone to see a bright full moon shining back at him. His mind was racing and he couldn't fall asleep.

"Hey Sirius, are you awake?"

"Nope."

"I need to bounce something off you..."

"If it's Peter's toad, Houdini, no thanks. We all know I've had quite enough of that."

Peter chimed in from his four poster bed, "N-no he's safe in my d-drawer."

"It's about Remus," James declared.

"What about him?" Sirius asked.

"I, I... don't know how to say this without you telling me I've completely fallen off my broomstick," James said hesitantly.

"Just spill the potion and tell me," Sirius answered.

James grew quiet and pensive. Sirius sat up in his bed, stared at him curiously, and waited for him to continue.

Peter got impatient and stuttered, "W-w-what is it, James?"

James sighed. Then he took a deep breath and finally stated,

"I think Remus might be a werewolf."

Peter reacted with a small gasp and then scoffed at the idea saying, "That's b-bonkers!"

Sirius smirked at him and responded with a skeptical comment as predicted, "Yep. You're off your broomstick."

James shook his head and replied, "See? I told you. Why did I even bother to say anything?"

Sirius repressing a laugh, teased him, "We've been holding out on you, mate. Sorry you're just now catching on. Remus is a werewolf, I'm really a vampire, and Peter is a Hag."

Peter snickered and James scowled at Sirius.

James stated intently, "Look, just hear me out. Think about it. Remember last year when he always had to go away every month? Well, he's doing it again and take a look out the window."

Sirius' four poster bed was closest to the window in their dorm room and he glanced out at the night sky at the big bright full moon. Then he shrugged and said,

"Yeah, so what? So this month he had to go see his mum and there so happens to be a full moon at the same time. That doesn't prove anything."

James explained, "But you've seen how he looks ill every month. There's something... off about the way he gets so pale. I know you two have seen it."

Sirius and Peter grew silent thinking about Remus not looking well. They couldn't argue with James on that plausible point.

James continued, "What if he's the one who is ill once a month and goes somewhere else to transform so nobody gets hurt? We know Remus well enough by now that he's always looking out for others more than himself. He probably doesn't want to be a danger to anyone else. I really don't think his mother is ill, it's him, who's got a problem."

Sirius joked, "A furry little problem?"

James let out a little laugh of relief that he was starting to believe him and said, "Ha! Exactly."

Sirius who was now starting to catch on said,

"Hey, and what about all those scratches on his face that he said was from a 'grindylow'... what if he's hiding more scratch marks when he refuses to change in front of us, you know, like when he pulls the curtains so tight. He's always been extremely modest. I mean, it's no bother and if that's his preference, it's fine by me."

James agreed, "Right. I thought of that, too. I noticed scars on his arms the other day when his sleeve slid down and I think they're probably self-inflicted. Poor lad."

Sirius said, "Okay, how about this... you, Peter, and I keep this hush-hush for the next month. We'll watch if Remus gets ill again and disappears on the next full moon. Then we'll know for sure."

James replied, "Alright! Yes. Let's try that and see. You in, Peter?"

Peter had been chewing on treacle fudge in a bag his family had sent from home and watching their conversation like a detective show.

He nodded and said, "Y-yeah, I'm in. Poor Remus. I h-h-hope it's not true, though... But, what's in it for me if I s-stay quiet? Can I h-have the rest of your coconut ice, Sirius?"

Sirius's face flushed red in anger and he lunged from his bed over to Peter. Peter cowered and Sirius grabbed him aggressively by the shoulders. Then he dragged Peter whimpering over to the window, pushed the window pane open, and roughly shoved his shoulders over the edge.

With a dark look in his eye, Sirius said to him angrily, "What's in it for you!? What's in it for YOU! This isn't about you, you numbskull. Tell me. What do you see up in the sky right now?"

Peter glanced up at the night sky with a sweaty face and meekly squeaked out, "F-f-f-full moon."

Sirius continued, "That's right. If this business about Remus is true, then think of all the many times he's helped you out and been suffering quietly not telling anyone. He's done nothing but good for you, Peter. How dare you threaten to make a deal with me over keeping quiet over sweets... do you really value sweets over your friendship with Remus? Huh? Huh?"

Sirius harshly shook Peters shoulders in anger over the ledge of the window. James jumped up from his four poster bed and ran over to intervene.

Although he didn't disagree with the message being conveyed, he didn't like the increasing level of aggression boiling up from Sirius.

Peter sputtered in lament, "N-n-no, I didn't muh-muh-muh-mean it that way. I swear!"

James tugged Peter out of the window frame with one arm and with his other arm gave Sirius a firm shove away from Peter.

"Stop it, Sirius!"

Sirius released his grip off of Peter. But he still gave him an annoyed glare. Peter was shaking in fright.

Sirius whipped out his wand from inside his robe and pointed it at Peter. Then he said, "You won't say a word to anyone, Peter, or I'll-"

James reached out, pushed his wand down and said,

"ENOUGH! Knock it off."

Peter scampered back to his bed while Sirius' eyes followed him still looking peeved.

When Remus returned none of them said anything about the conversation or brought it up over the course of the next full moon cycle. James was tempted, though, one late night he woke up from the sounds of Remus having a nightmare.

Remus experienced another nightmare similar to one he had prior where he was in the Great Hall again with human body parts being served on the tables again. But this time it wasn't just Dumbledore standing on the other side of the table shaking his head in disappointment.

This time all his mates were standing next to Dumbledore as well. Peter, Sirius, and James stood there staring back at him with completely disgusted expressions. They knew. It was over.

Remus looked down, held out his hands and discovered to his horror that instead of hands there was furry paws with sharp claws pointing out of them. No, how did this happen here?

Then when he looked up all four of them were aiming their wands at him. He jolted awake with his heart hammering in his chest. He was out of breath panting and drenched in sweat.

Before he had woken from the dream, Remus had been unknowingly making soft moaning sounds that had caused James to awaken. James had sat up in his bed in confusion to locate the sound and then saw Remus stirring uncomfortably in his bed.

Poor lad... he never asked for this, it was an unfortunate bite from some werewolf out there...and now he innocently suffers in solitude. James thought pitying him silently, feeling heavy hearted for his friend.

He wondered if he should wake Remus up intentionally to just get him out of the nightmare. But decided to spare him the embarrassment and just laid down trying to ignore it. Then he watched Remus jolt awake.

Remus sat up quickly and was slightly tipped over holding his belly. James quickly closed his eyes pretending to be sleeping when he saw Remus stand up from his bed. He listened to the sound of him breathing heavily, soft footsteps moving across the room and then the window latch open. Cool air drifted in.

James felt a strong compulsion to get up and go sit with him by the window. He hated to know that Remus was suffering alone. James also felt a new sense contempt inside of him for whoever the werewolf was that had bitten him that brought on this terrible affliction.

Later, like clockwork, Remus's appearance once again grew ill and the three of them noticed. They each checked their lunar tables from Astronomy class and observed how it worsened as it got closer to the full moon.

Then when he gave his usual excuses and was indeed absent on the night of the full moon again, they knew.

When he returned looking especially exhausted, they decided to confront him about it in the dorm that night.

"How's your mum, Remus?" Sirius asked.

Remus replied, "She's... okay. I'm glad I got to visit her again and at least bring her some cheer. I do think it brightens her spirits to see me when I visit, despite her illness."

"I don't buy it. I don't think she's the one who's really ill, mate," Sirius continued.

Remus frowned and asked meekly, "Um... what?"

James chimed in, "We figured it out, Remus."

James and Sirius were sitting up in their beds, turned toward Remus, staring at him somberly.

Peter scratched his hair with greasy fingers from munching on crisps, watching the others like it was his nightly entertainment.

Remus began breathing rapidly. He asked anxiously,

"Figured what out?"