Birds were already twittering loudly as the sun had just peaked over the horizon in the eastern edge of the forrest. Remus was a filthy, crumpled, naked, bleeding mess lying alone on the forrest floor. His eyes were squeezed shut and his teeth chattered. Dew had made the earth damp and he shivered uncontrollably.

Bugger off or shut it.. you miserable birds… he thought quietly as their persistent obnoxious chirping in his sensitive ears added only another layer of pain to his current post transformation state. His hands slipped upwards and covered his ears which muffled the annoying auditory bombardment.

He slowly blinked his eyes open several times. He focused groggily on an unfamiliar twig filled bush with small white flowers in front of him. A breeze kicked up and blew loose some of the white flower blossom petals from the bush towards his face. He instinctively shut his eyes.

Aches and pain intensely throbbed across various parts of his body and he took slight comfort in knowing he had survived another full moon. He had wondered if another dark creature would overtake him when he was a werewolf overnight. There were so many roaming everywhere lately in these dark times especially in the forrest.

The Great Wizarding War was in full swing. Remus had graduated from Hogwarts. He had experienced a lot of difficulties finding employment particularly amongst the Wizarding community who knew about his condition. It was one disappointment after the other in that regard. He had quickly learned to get by on very little even if it meant skipping meals or sleeping in odd places.

He was proudly serving as a member of the Order of the Phoenix, a secret society formed by Albus Dumbledore to resist Lord Voldemort. Remus greatly enjoyed having the continued contact with friends and most especially each of his best mates, the Marauders, from Hogwarts that also served in the Order. He had tried to scout around the forrest the previous night for any death eaters or dark creatures prior to his transformation. He had come close to tracking down a group of five death eaters but was unsuccessful at any captures or fights to slow them down.

Remus summoned his wand. He slowly eased himself up from the ground with a groan and then sighed heavily. He heard the familiar sound of his wand whizzing through the air coming from the direction of where he had hidden it yesterday. He reached out his cold, shaky hand with fingers spread open and then quickly caught his wand in midair. Then he examined himself for post transformation damage. There were new claw marks slashed across his chest and arms.

Fantastic…. more scars for my ever growing collection of disgusting werewolf scars.

"Ferula!" he began saying repeatedly conjuring up bandages which proceeded to wrap themselves around his fresh wounds. He had gotten quite adept at performing the bandaging charm as he needed it nearly every month. His father had taught him that before he went to Hogwarts.

Next, he was more than ready to get dressed again. With another flick of his wand he summoned his clothes he had removed from himself and hid the previous evening before his transformation. When his clothes floated through the trees and back to him he found them to be cold and damp.

Remus used his wand to make a complicated little wave so that hot air streamed out of the tip. He pointed the stream of hot air at his robes. The clothes began to steam and then dried out. The hot air charm was another one that he used often and had gotten plenty of practice at drying soaked garments. Once dressed he did not feel warm in the cool morning air; but was relieved that at least the shivering stopped.

He yawned and began to stumble along in the forrest as there was no beaten path. He came across a stream that trickled into a large pool of water. His throat felt parched and sore. A drink of water sounded like a welcome relief. He knelt down on his knees next to the pool. Remus had discovered a particular helpful charm to check water quality.

"Aqua Puras."

He gave a swift bouncy wave of his wand and pointed it at the still water of the pool. If the water glowed blue it was safe to drink but if it glowed red it was unsafe.

The pool glowed blue so he knelt down closer to the water to get a drink. Suddenly, he gasped and exclaimed, "Oh god, how horrid!"

His reflection in the still water of the pool showed a vast amount of blood smeared generously around his mouth and cheeks. It was smeared in a manner that indicated he had killed and eaten some other creature in his werewolf form. He had felt the stiffness of the smears on his face but thought it was just dried mud prior to seeing his ghastly reflection.

For a moment his hands held his abdomen and he bent over feeling a rush of nausea. He breathed deliberately to trying his best to not vomit. Perhaps it might not be so bad to vomit and expel whatever the werewolf had consumed? Ugh. Absolutely repulsive!

He felt throughly disgusted with himself. Then he quickly dunked his head under the water in the pool and rubbed his face vigorously. He hurriedly scrubbed and scrubbed until all the animal blood was off his face. Finally, he moved upstream above the pool, got a drink and continued on his way. His head and hands now felt numb from the cold water. He longed for bath or shower to get warm and completely clean.

A feeling of heaviness began weighing on him as he walked. Memories flashed through his mind of the recent funeral he had attended for Molly Weasley's brothers killed by death eaters. She was nearly inconsolable as she wept in the arms of her husband, Arthur, and her new little ginger headed lads clung to her legs. It was a tragic and great loss to the Order of the Phoenix as well. They were skilled fighters and would be sorely missed.

Molly's deceased brothers, Gideon and Fabian Prewett, were killed by a group of five Death Eaters, including Antonin Dolohov; a particularly sadistic individual who tortured Muggles, Witches and Wizards alike. Mad eye Moody had spoken of them fighting admirably against the group of five but it provided little comfort to the crushing blow of their deaths.

Remus felt anger boil inside of him at his lycanthropy getting in the way of possibly tracking down the death eaters the previous night when he was hot on their trail. He felt like he had not only failed the Order, but he also failed to provide justice for poor Molly and the countless others who had been tortured or senselessly murdered. He wondered if perhaps it would of been better if he was killed by a dark creature last night and never woke up.

Remus continued plodding along and thought about whether or not he should trouble his father for a place to stay. No. His parents had already done so much for him and had made countless sacrifices keeping his condition concealed from others. They had faithfully provided care for him after so many full moons that he simply ruled out the option entirely. They had already given enough, more than enough. He was a burden. No, definitely not. He could not and would not trouble his aging father anymore. Where would he go?

A spring rain began to sprinkle down and slowly increased in intensity as the minutes ticked on. As the rain intensified, Remus quickly became soaking wet and he felt himself start to shiver again. His stomach cramped signaling he was hungry. The thought of some mystery animal still being digested in his system quickly replaced the sensation of hunger with nausea. He pushed the unpleasant thought out of his mind and tried to decide where to go to escape the miserable weather.

Currently, he did not have galleon to his name so perhaps it might come down to begging to sleep in some kind soul's barn. The thought of itchy, smelly hay made his heart sink even lower as he trudged on. His knees wobbled in exhaustion and several times he caught himself loosing his balance and sliding on slippery mud.

After what felt like an eternity trudging through the rain, his footsteps brought him to the cobblestone streets of a village not far from Godric's Hollow. The area had a long history of being home to magical communities in the West Country of England. The sky was beginning to darken into night. Finally, he arrived at the doorstep of the small cottage home of Lilly and James Potter.

After he gave a couple weary knocks, their front door slowly opened a crack. The tip of a wand pointed strait at him and Lilly's eyes cautiously peeked out. She asked him suspiciously,

"What was the name of my first owl at Hogwarts?"

Remus strained his brain for a moment thinking back in time and then the name came to him. He blinked away rain drops that had clustered heavily in his eyelashes and answered her,

"Cleopatra."

"That's correct."

Remus's hand had crept down to his wand and he tightened his grip on the handle.

"What was the name of my owl?"

"Oh, um, the Muggle chocolate company name... Cadbury!"

"Correct," he answered.

They both sighed breaths of relief in unison and then politely smiled at each other.

"Hello Lilly. It feels like it was only yesterday we were sending off our first posts from the Owlery in the castle's West Tower. So much has happened since then."

She replied, "Yes indeed," then swung the door open wider. "Come in. Oh Remus! Just look at you!'

Remus stumbled forward feeling his legs nearly give out on him. He weakly leaned against the door frame. After taking some steadying breaths, he said awkwardly, "I'm ever so sorry for coming here such a mess, unannounced, I.. I wasn't sure where else to go.."

She gave a dismissive wave and gestured for him to come in farther forward out of the rain. He shuffled in and held onto a nearby chair while Lilly hurriedly waved her wand to secure the door behind them.

Remus stood by their door holding the top of the chair, taking in breaths of the delightfully warm, dry air while his drenched clothing dripped down on the wooden floor. He briefly thought about how good it felt to not to have the rain pounding on his head anymore.

Lilly turned from the locked door, placed her hand gently on his back and reassured him,

"Oh Remus, come in, come in. You don't in ever have to apologize for coming here unannounced. You should know that by now. You are always welcome here. Look at you! Merlin, it must of been a rough full moon, yeah?"

Remus just nodded silently at her not really wanting to talk or think about it. He felt sheepish about his soaked dirty clothes dripping on their floor. He sighed as he stepped forward into the heated comforting air of their house. A fire crackled and snapped in their fireplace. The living room looked cozy and inviting. A fleeting thought crossed his mind to collapse on their sofa. But then he looked bashfully down at his filthy attire thinking he didn't dare even sit down and muddy up their furniture.

Almost as if Lilly could read his thoughts at the moment, she said, "Don't worry. It's quite all right. Come on, follow me. Let me draw you up a hot bath in our bathroom and you can wear a spare set of dry clothes from James. I'm sure he won't mind at all. Come on now, this way. You're a frightful mess but soon you'll feel like a new person after a good bath."

Remus simply nodded and found that as he tried to step forward his knees wobbled unsteadily from exhaustion. His legs felt completely knackered. Without asking, Lilly just quickly slipped her arm under his arm and across his back with a firm grasp. He gripped her shoulder to gain mobility support. Then she led him forward assisting his fatigued body down their hallway. As he limped along side her, he said,

"Cheers. I really don't want to put you out or um, interrupt anything in your schedule, I, I didn't mean to-"

Lilly interrupted, "Nonsense. Not at all. You're not doing any of the sort. James is out on an assignment at the moment but I'm sure he won't mind you popping in. I really had no plans at all today."

"Alright, are you sure?" he replied not quite convinced.

"Yes! Quite sure. It's nasty weather out there today; only good for Grindylows. Have you been trudging through it the whole day on foot?"

He nodded. Lilly frowned at him in confusion and then asked,

"For Merlin's sake, why didn't you apparate or use your broom?"

Remus sighed and then explained, "Peter borrowed my broom and I didn't trust myself in my groggy mental state after the transformation to pull off an apparation successfully...it's far too great of risk of splinching. I'd rather not leave any of my body parts behind."

Lilly said, "Right. That's understandable. Well, I'll start filling the tub and then go get those fresh, dry clothes for you. You must be chilled to the bone. While I'm at it, I'll grab you a cuppa and a hot bowl of soup. I made a big pot of Mulligatawny soup, it's really no bother. You look far too thin, Remus."

He eased himself down on the lid of their toilet, nodded in consent feeling easily persuaded at the prospect of getting clean, dry and a full stomach. He told her softly, "Thanks, Lilly. Truly. I'm grateful."

"Not at all. It's nothing."

The water from the faucet thundered as it poured out filling the old claw foot porcelain tub. Lilly was swiftly walking out of the doorway but then she paused in her tracks. She swiveled around and looked him over with her eyes pausing at the bandages wrapped around one of his wrists.

Remus suddenly felt self conscious of all his scars and injuries. Though he had known Lilly for many years and she felt like a sister to him; he still felt a shadow of embarrassment creeping over him. He noticed an annoying stinging sensation at the base of his neck. He reached up and felt a wet spot above his collarbone.

"Oh bugger," he muttered quietly to himself.

The flesh was torn and it stung even more as his fingers blindly touched the spot. When he pulled his hand away, he looked down to see his fingers and palm smeared with a glossy crimson color. The metallic smell of blood filled his nose.

"Oh dear, I'll grab a flask of strengthening potion and some dittany, too. In the meantime, uh, use this..." she said and proceeded to grab a clean washcloth from a folded stack of them near the sink.

Lilly turned on the faucet and got the washcloth slightly damp. She walked over to him, folded the washcloth and carefully draped it gently across the site of injury at the base of his neck. Her eyes were loaded with pity. He couldn't stand to see it so he turned his gaze downward.

While staring down at his worn shoes, he sighed and told her,

"Thank you, Lilly. I'm sorry to be such a pitiful mess."

Lilly put her hands on her hips. She frowned, shook her head slightly and muttered, "Remus, Remus, Remus."

She squatted down right in front of him and put both hands firmly on the corners of his two shoulders. Remus tensed his muscles, slowly raised his head up with an anxious expression and met her unavoidable, insistent gaze.

"Listen. I don't know how many times I have to tell you this…. you have nothing to be ashamed of. No more apologies, alright?"

"Alright," he whispered almost inaudibly remembering that he had had this conversation too many times with Lilly already in the past. She nodded seemingly satisfied, patted his shoulders and left the room.

Suddenly, the memory of his sweet, precious dying mother filled his mind and her voice echoed the same words to him... you have nothing to be ashamed of.

Silent tears streamed down his cheeks. He couldn't hold them back especially now that he was in a safe environment to weep. The tears flooded his eyes and his heart clenched painfully missing his deceased mum.

Remus looked down and helplessly watched the dripping tears fall onto his wet trousers. The warmth of the salty tears streaming down his cold, stiff cheeks brought awareness of his chilled body from the endless hours of trudging through the inclement weather all day.

What good am I to anybody? I couldn't even make any progress stopping those horrific death eaters. Here I am, a burden and a taker from the Potters once again.

Lilly appeared a little while later holding a wooden tray that was balancing an array of items. On the tray was a folded bath towel, a spare set of clothing from James, a bowl of steaming soup with a slice of crusty bread, two small rattling flasks and a cup of tea. She carefully placed the heavily laden tray on the counter by the sink.

Remus turned away from her and tried to inconspicuously wipe away his tear stained cheeks. But it did not go unnoticed. She immediately sensed the distress, walked over to him, and gently took one of his hands.

He didn't see her coming with his back turned away from her. His muscles instinctively tensed; startled when Lilly reached down and took his hand. Remus was not really used to anyone touching him so comfortably. Most of the time others kept their distance from him out of misguided beliefs that lycanthropy was contagious through touch. The ease at which Lilly touched him caught him off guard.

Lilly squeezed his hand lightly and then asked him lovingly,

"What is it? What's the matter?"

Remus looked down and her hand grasping his with no hesitation. When had anyone last even cared to touch his hands? The persistent avoidance over time made him feel untouchable, unclean and almost believe he was diseased like a leper. Her kindness, hospitality and absence of any prejudice towards him quickly eroded his inner defenses. He relaxed and his words spilled out like a cauldron being suddenly tipped over.

"I'm no good, Lilly. I was onto Dolohov and the other death eaters yesterday...the same group that murdered Molly's brothers but then I ... I couldn't continue after them because I needed to transform. I can't even remember where it was now. My mind is completely muddled after the full moon. I'm just a liability and a weak link to the Order as a lycanthrope. I'm nothing but a burden to you and James, a disgusting, pathetic dark creature without even one galleon to speak of-"

At the mention of being entirely broke, Remus felt himself break into tears again. Damn it, stop already.

He lived a hand-to-mouth existence and was triggered to tears by the recent memory of the Potters giving him financial support. It was so humiliating to accept their money and be met with the endless amount of closed doors with employment options.

Lilly sighed and pulled out a white, handkerchief from her pocket. She carefully placed it in his hand. He managed a tiny nod of gratitude, then dabbed his watery eyes and wiped his nose.

"Remus, listen, both Gideon & Fabian died fighting those five, so you taking them on as only one would of been extremely foolish or a death wish. I'm glad you had a reason to get away from them. James & I would be utterly heartbroken if we lost you as well. You are a dear friend, and a brilliant wizard. You're a beautiful person who has a huge caring, courageous heart that is not any bit of a dark creature. Lycanthropy does not define you. Anyone who isn't blinded by their own stupid prejudice towards you, that spends any length of time with you; can obviously see the vast amount of courage that shines bright from the inside out despite your condition."

"You're too kind," Remus replied with a heavy sigh.

"Well, it's true. I'm not just trying to flatter you. You give yourself far too little credit, Remus. You're a valuable member of the Order. You're not a burden and most of all you're one of our treasured friends."

Lilly walked over to the tray. She squinted her eyes carefully at two small flasks and then brought one back over to him. She held it out.

"Here. Take this one."

He quietly uncorked the top and swallowed her strengthening potion without question. His body involuntarily shuddered after he emptied the flask. He was surprised that it made him shudder. There had been countless times Madam Pomfrey had administered these type of potions after his transformations, and he had sadly had grown familiar with all of their various foul tastes. His body reflexively shuddered once again. He stayed silent not wanting to draw any attention or come across as ungrateful in any way.

Lilly took back the empty flask from him and stuffed it in her pocket.

"That should kick in soon enough. Now you better eat this soup before it gets cold."

She proceeded to grab the bowl of soup on the tray. After she handed him the bowl of soup with the slice of crusty bread, she turned the bathtub faucet off as it had filled three quarters of the way up to the top rim. She took out her wand, pointed it at the water and whispered an incantation.

"Saponem colorem."

Soap suddenly appeared covering the entire surface of the steaming water in the tub with color changing iridescent bubbles. Then a fresh clean scent diffused into the air. Remus was reminded of the prefects bathroom at Hogwarts. He started eating and soon began scarfing it down as he realized how ravenously hungry he had become.

Lilly put one hand on her belly.

"Oh. And no more tears because I have some happy news."

Remus looked up curiously and immediately noticed her hand placement over her belly. He swallowed and dropped his spoon into the bowl. His eyes widened in surprise and he made a small, quiet gasp. Then he raised his eyebrows and asked,

"You're... expecting?"

Lilly's face beamed with joy. She nodded 'yes' grinning at him widely and made an excited squeak. Remus put a hand over his heart and a slow smile spread across his face for the first time that day.

"Oh Lilly, that's wonderful news. Congratulations! Congratulations to both of you, well, I suppose there's three of you now, wow, a little family! How about that?"

"Yes! And I want you to know I simply adore the idea of you being like an uncle someday to our little one, Remus... you'll be perfect at it - I just know it."

"Oh, yes of course. I'd be honored. I will not be perfect, but I can give it my best go at least on my good days of the month. I would be most honored, indeed."

She exuberantly jumped forward and gave him a loose hug over the soup bowl he held on his lap. When she pulled away there was a yellow soup stain on her shirt. Remus looked at goopy spot on the fabric and the corner of his mouth crooked in amusement. Lilly followed his gaze downward and immediately noticed.

"Oops... well, it seems the baby is apparently helping itself to your soup already."

They both couldn't help but laugh.

When she left the room, Remus felt warmth filling him from the inside out. Perhaps it was the combination of the soup, the potion and the happy news. No, it was mainly the thought of three Potters making the world feel like a much brighter and hopeful place in such dark times.