11

"Izzy," Carlisle called through the bathroom door. She was sitting on the floor next to the tub; her knees pulled to her chest as she stared at the little white stick sitting on the vanity. "Izzy, what does it say?"

"I haven't looked yet."

"It's been like five minutes."

"I know how long it's been."

"Sorry." There was a pause before he said, "Open the door."

"I can't move."

A moment later, the door opened, and when she looked up, she saw him standing in the doorway. He had just gotten home from a double shift, and though his eyes looked tired, he smiled and walked over, kneeling in front of her. He placed his hand on the side of her face.

"It's going to be negative," she whimpered. "It's always negative."

"You don't know that."

"I do. I can feel it."

Carlisle shifted so he was sitting with his legs on either side of her. He grabbed her hands, bringing them to his lips. "If it is, then it is. Maybe . . . maybe we need to stop trying for a while."

"Stop? You want to stop trying for a baby?"

"Of course, I don't want to, but . . . maybe we need to take a step backward. Just focus on each other for a while. We could go on a trip to Paris like you always wanted. We could dance, drink wine, and even eat . . . I don't know, escargot?"

"Yeah, maybe," she mumbled, biting the inside of her lip.

Carlisle sighed and looked over his shoulder before he turned back to her. "I'm going to look."

She opened her mouth to stop him, but he leaned backward and picked it up, bringing it down in front of him. His eyes shifted to the white plastic stick, and she saw the disappointment fill his face just before he looked back at her.

"Negative."

"Negative," he confirmed, tossing the test into the trash can. "Let's go out today. We can go to Central Park, pig out on hotdogs, and maybe get a cherry snow cone. Plan our trip to Paris."

Bella shook her head. "You need to sleep."

"I'm fine," he insisted.

Bella brought her hand to his face, causing him to lean into her touch. "I have rehearsals."

He sighed but nodded. "Another day, then."

"I'm sorry. I really thought this was the going to be the month."

"Izzy. Izzy?"

Bella was staring at the man seated in the leather chair. Like before, he was wearing black slacks, a button-down shirt, and a pullover sweater vest. Only this time, he was wearing brown loafers and tan socks. Like her, he had his legs crossed and had his yellow notepad on his knee. He was twirling his pen between his fingers as he tilted his head to the side.

"What do you want from these sessions?"

"I want to understand."

"What is it you want to understand?"

She shook her head, looking away. "I want to understand how he could leave me."

"He didn't choose to leave you, Izzy."

She shifted her eyes back to him.

"He didn't walk out of your apartment with the intention of never seeing you again. He went to work like he had done every day for years. He was doing his job, Izzy, and, unfortunately, he died doing his job."

She nodded. "I know."

"What do you want from these sessions?"

"I told you —"

"I know what you said, but what do you want from these sessions?"

She inhaled deeply. "I want it to stop hurting all the time."

"It's always going to hurt, Izzy. Your husband died."

"Will it always hurt this much?" she whimpered.

"Tell me how it hurts."

"I miss him so much. The way he would crawl into bed when he got home, pressing his body against mine. I can still smell his bodywash. I miss the way he said my name. Izzy, he would whisper. Izzy," she cried, covering her mouth with her fingers. "I feel betrayed. He kept things from me."

"Like what?"

"Money." She looked away. "A sister. Half-sister, technically, but still a sister."

"Why do you think he never told you he had a sister?"

She shook her head. "Family was hard for him. His parents . . . they weren't good, and his brother . . . Well, family was hard. Maybe that's why he didn't tell me about her, because he didn't want family to be hard for her, too."

"You were his family, weren't you?"

Bella frowned. "I thought I was his most important family."

"You don't think that anymore?"

"How can I when he left me alone?"

He tilted his head to the side before he made a note on his yellow notepad. When he looked up at her again, he asked, "So, what do you want from these sessions?"

—RtW—

Bella wanted to see Esme again, but instead, she found herself parked in front of a large white-stone house with many windows and a bright yellow door. She bit her lip as she climbed out of the car and looked left and then right before crossing the street and standing in front of the bright yellow door. She'd just reached for the doorbell when the door opened, and she found herself face to face with a tall, thin, sickly-looking man with sparse gray hair and dark brown eyes.

"Who the hell are you?" He looked around her. "What are you doing here?"

"Are you Richard Gerandy?"

"Last time I checked. Who are you?"

"I'm here on Esme Platt's behalf."

His lips curled upward, and he raised an eyebrow. "Esme Platt? What about her?"

Bella inhaled a sharp breath before reaching into her bag and pulled a small white envelope, holding it out to him. "I believe she's behind on her rent. This should be enough to get her caught up and give her a few months to figure out what happens next."

The man took the envelope and pried the back flap open, pulling out the cashier's check inside.

"You're Izzy, aren't you?"

Her eyes widened, and she automatically took a step backward. "How do you know my name?"

Mr. Gerandy smiled wider. "Your husband told me about you when he set up the payments for her rent. Said you grew up not far from here. Haven't heard from him in a few months. Is he okay?"

Bella barely shook her head. "He was killed in the line of duty a couple of months ago."

"I'm sorry. He was a good man."

"You spoke to him often?"

"Every few months, usually when it was time to renew his sister's lease. Always reminded me not to tell her about him. He never would tell me why he didn't want her to know he was paying her rent, but he insisted."

"He seemed to keep a lot of secrets." Bella cleared her throat and gestured toward the envelope in his hand. "That should be enough for a while."

He nodded. "Her lease is up in a couple of months. I'm considering selling the space. It's more trouble than it's worth, and I'm not getting any younger. Health isn't too good, either."

"My number is inside. Let me know what you plan to do."

"You're telling me but not her. Is this because you don't want her to know about her brother, either?"

Bella sighed and looked away. "I haven't gotten that far yet. I'm just trying to make things right, I suppose."

"So, what am I supposed to tell her? That this foundation he created suddenly got their act together and caught up on their payments?"

"I don't care what you say, as long as you don't tell her about me. Just . . . just let me know what she needs, okay?"

"All right."

Bella turned and hurried across the street and climbed into her car. As she made the half-hour drive back to Woodbury, she wondered if she was making the right decision to step into Carlisle's shoes and help Esme Platt.

—RtW—

Bella sat nervously on the examination table, her hands folded and her lip between her bottom teeth. Bree had left her alone almost half an hour ago after charting her weight, blood pressure, and temperature. Now, she was waiting for Dr. Black and what she was sure was going to be another lecture about taking care of herself.

It wasn't like she was purposely being stubborn. She understood she had another life inside her, one that was depending on her. Her slowly-rounding belly was her constant reminder. Just the thought of food made her nauseous, which made forcing food into her mouth difficult. And when she tried to sleep, he wove in and out of her dreams, her nightmares, and more than once, she woke up screaming into her pillow or sobbing uncontrollably.

In one breath, he had promised her forever, and then in the next, laughed and told his buddies she was a bitch and complained constantly. He crawled into their bed and touched her, had sex with her, but kept his sister from her. She couldn't shake the nagging feeling that a half-sister and a private bank account weren't Carlisle's only secrets.

The door opened, and Dr. Black hurried in. He smiled as he opened her chart. "Well, you've regained those seven pounds you lost, but you still need to gain more. You should be at least five pounds up by seventeen weeks."

"I'm just not hungry, and when I try to force it, I feel sick."

He nodded. "Have you talked to Dr. Sanders about why the thought of food affects you like that?"

Bella pressed her lips together. "I thought my sessions were private."

Dr. Black smiled and put his hand up in front of him. "He hasn't told me anything. I'm asking you if you feel he's helping."

Bella sighed again. "I don't know. There's just . . . he . . ." She looked away, afraid of seeing the disappointment in his eyes when she spoke again. "I don't think Carlisle was the man I thought he was."

"And who was that?"

"A man who loved me," she whimpered, and when she felt him reach out and place his hand on her shoulder, she shrugged it off. "Please don't touch me. I'm barely holding it together."

"Izzy —"

The buzzing of a phone ringing interrupted him, and they both turned to the wall next to the door. He rolled his eyes as he took the two steps over and yanked it off the base, almost slamming it against his ear before saying, "What is it, Bree?"

Dr. Black's eyes widened as he looked at her and nodded. "Yes, put him through." He paused before asking, "Has her water ruptured?"

He smiled. "Okay, okay, calm down, young man. Take her to the hospital, and I'll meet you there. Everything is going to be okay, Emmett."

Dr. Black hung up the phone and looked back at Bella. "Rosalie is in labor. Can we reschedule for next week?"

Bella nodded. "Of course. Is she okay?"

"She's a little scared. Could probably use a friend right now."

Though she wasn't sure why, she found herself saying, "I'll be there."

—RtW—

True to her word, Bella left Dr. Black's office and drove straight to the hospital. She parked in the visitor lot and slowly walked into the building, across the lobby to the elevator. She pressed the up arrow and waited until the doors slid open before she stepped inside, leaning against the back wall. The doors started to slide closed, but a hand shot out and stopped them, and when she looked up, she saw Edward.

"Oh, hey." He stepped inside and reached over, pressing the button for the fifth floor. "Didn't expect you to be here."

"Dr. Black mentioned she might need a friend, so . . . I guess that's me."

Edward nodded and leaned against the other side, his hands shoved into his front pocket. "You were at your check-up?"

"Yes."

"How did it go?"

"Um, we didn't get to finish because Emmett called, so he is rescheduling for next week. Hoping to find out if I'm having a boy or a girl."

"Didn't think you'd want to know."

"Why not?"

Edward shrugged his shoulders. "You always said the wait was worth the surprise when we tried to give you birthday presents early."

She smiled. "You never could keep anything a secret."

He frowned as the doors to the elevator slid open, and he gestured for her to go first. As she walked past him, she could have sworn he said, "You have no idea what secrets I've kept," but when she looked back at him, he simply grinned.

They walked around the nurses' station and down the hallway, stopping in front of Rosalie's room. Bella raised her hand and knocked gently, and a moment later, it opened, and they came face to face with Emmett. His eyes flickered from her to Edward and back again before he sighed in relief and stepped to the side, letting them into the room.

Rosalie was lying on her left side, hands flat against her stomach, and her eyes were closed as she took several deep breaths. Her eyes opened, and she looked past Emmett and right at Bella. "Izzy, you're here."

Emmett leaned down and kissed the top of Bella's head. "We'll give you a minute alone with her."

"Thanks." She waited until he and Edward were in the waiting room before she stepped into the room, letting her bag slide off her shoulder and onto the floor before walking over to the bed. "Hey, Ro, heard you're gonna get to meet your little girl today."

Rosalie nodded, her eyes filling with tears. "Contractions started last night and got more intense this morning. Water broke about an hour ago, so here we are."

Bella smiled and sat on the side of the bed, keeping her hand wrapped around Rosalie's before she reached up and pushed her sweaty blond hair out of her face. "I'm so sorry, Ro. I'm so sorry I haven't been here for you."

"It's okay," she whimpered. "You're here now, and I really could use a friend. It's been hard, you know? Being alone all the time."

"Emmett's here now. You're not alone anymore."

"No, I know. It's just . . ." Rosalie inhaled a deep breath before she shifted so she was resting on her back, her hand roaming over her stomach. "I never thought I would carry to term. Emmett and I always knew we wanted a big family; you know? Both of us being only children and everything, so we wanted a house full of kids. I got pregnant three months after we got married and miscarried at ten weeks. Over the course of the last eight years, I've miscarried four more times. I'd given up on ever having a baby, Izzy, so when that stick turned pink, I didn't tell him for almost two months."

"Save him the heartache if you miscarried again."

Rosalie nodded. "Sounds like you understand."

"I don't. Not really," she admitted. "But Carlisle and I . . . we'd been trying for a baby for almost four years. Month after month, I peed on sticks, and nothing happened. We stopped trying about six months ago, and then one day, I woke up with sore boobs, felt nauseous, and realized that my period was four days late. So I peed on another stick. And when I got a positive, I peed on another stick, and then three more, because no matter how many positive tests I stared at, I didn't believe I was actually pregnant. So, I called my gynecologist and asked for a blood test. It wasn't until he told me I was indeed pregnant that I believed it was real." Bella bit the inside of her lip. "Carlisle died that night."

"Oh, Izzy," Rosalie cried, tightening her fingers around hers.

"Sorry, this is supposed to be about you, not me," Bella wept. "I missed you, Ro."

"I missed you, too." Her eyes closed as she pushed air through tightly pressed lips. A moment later, her eyes opened, and she smiled warily. "That one hurt."

"You're going to be a good mom, Ro . . . a really good mom."

"So will you."

The door to Rosalie's room opened as Emmett and Edward walked in. While Emmett hurried to his wife's side, Edward came to stand next to Bella, though his hand reached out and cup Rosalie's face.

"You okay, Ro?"

She nodded and released a deep breath. "I think so."

Eventually, Bella and Edward retreated to the waiting room with the promise that they wouldn't leave until the baby was born. They settled in the back corner. Rosalie's parents arrive, both of them greeting Edward warmly while smiling politely at Bella. They clearly hadn't quite forgiven her for leaving Woodbury ten years ago.

While Catherine and William made small talk with Edward, Bella found herself roaming the hallway, stopping outside the nursery. Only three babies were inside the small room, all in plastic bassinets wrapped snuggly in white blankets.

"Hey."

She looked over, finding Edward leaning against the corner where the hallway splits off to a different corridor.

"It means a lot to Emmett and Ro that you're here."

Bella nodded. "I missed them."

Edward smiled and walked over, standing next to her. "She was afraid to tell Emmett until she reached the second trimester. She'd never made it to thirteen weeks, so when she did, she told him. He cried, Izzy. Emmett cried because he wanted to be a dad so bad, but watching her struggle with each miscarriage, well, it was hard on him. He called me after and told me he needed me to take care of her, to be there when he couldn't. So I did. Or at least, I tried."

"She told me about when she fell, about how you happened to show up at her momma's house."

Edward looked at her. "She did?"

Bella nodded. "The day I ran into you at Dr. Black's office. She was at Dad's house when I got home, forced her way inside, and demanded I talk to her."

"Sounds like Ro."

"Anyway, she told me about the fall and how you were there for her. I didn't believe her when she told me you'd changed, Edward."

"Yeah, I know," he murmured, looking away.

"I believe her now."

"You do?" he asked, looking back down at her.

Bella nodded. "I understand why Carlisle decided to cut you out of our lives, Edward, but I never agreed with him. He missed you."

"Not enough to give me another chance."

"Yeah, well, that makes two of us, I guess. I'm starting to think I didn't know him as well as I thought I did."

"Because he didn't tell you about Esme?"

"For starters. What if there are more secrets I don't know about? I have his laptop, but I can't get in. It's password-protected, and I've tried everything I can think of. My birthday, our anniversary, his birthday. None of them work."

"Have you tried four, nine, nine, nine?"

"No, why would he use that?"

Edward scoffed and pulled out his phone. He opened the keypad and gestured to the four. "I." And then he pointed to the nine, "Z.Z.Y. He used four, nine, nine, nine as his PIN for everything, Izzy."

But before she could respond, the door to Rosalie's room opened, and Edward threw her a look before he turned and hurried down the hallway. Bella followed but stopped when they, along with Catherine and William, found Emmett holding a small, beautiful baby girl in his arms.

He smiled, his lips trembling, and his eyes filled with tears as he said, "Ro and I would like to introduce you to Jasmine Isabella McCarty."

Thank you for all the AMAZING reviews! And thank you to Sunflower Fran for being my person and cleaning up my mess. See you next Wednesday!