12

Bella sat nestled in the corner of Rosalie's couch; her tiny daughter cradled against her chest. She couldn't stop from pressing her nose against her head, inhaling her fresh baby scent. That's what Emmett had been calling it. It didn't matter that Jasmine was almost two weeks old — ten days to be exact; she still had that new baby smell.

"Ro, are you sure you're going to be okay?" Emmett asked, and when Bella looked over her shoulder, she saw him standing next to the front door with Rosalie, who rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. "I know, I know. I'm being stupid."

"You're not," she insisted. "But sooner or later, Em, you're going to have to go back to work. We kind of have medical bills and a mortgage to pay."

"A daughter who needs more hair bows," Bella added, causing Rosalie to laugh.

"Yes!" Rosalie snickered, placing her hands on Emmett's chest and pulling him down for a quick kiss. "I love you."

"I love you, too, babe." He kissed her again. "Call if you need me."

"I promise."

"You too, Iz."

"Yeah, yeah." Bella waived him off as she continued to snuggle Jasmine.

A moment later, she heard the front door open and then closed, and when she looked over her shoulder again, she saw Rosalie watching him through the glass window next to the door.

"He's gone," she said with a sigh and turned to Bella. "I love him, Izzy. I do, but he's been up my ass for ten days, and I need a break."

Bella smiled but didn't reply. How could she when she would give anything for one more minute with Carlisle.

"Sorry. I didn't think about how that sounded."

"Don't be sorry," Bella whispered, kissing Jasmine's head again. "You're allowed your feelings, Ro."

Rosalie came and sat on the other end of the couch, shifting to face Bella. "She likes you."

"She likes everyone who holds her."

"Not everyone. When Momma does, she gets fussy. Momma swears I've been whispering in Jazzy's ear that her gammy is evil."

"I can hear Cat saying it now. I'm surprised she's not here today."

Rosalie rolled her eyes. "I threatened her."

"What? How?"

"I told her if she didn't give me a few days alone with my daughter, I would never let her babysit."

"Which is a lie."

"Of course it is." Rosalie pushed her hair behind her shoulder. "I love my mom, Bella, I do, and I am so thankful for her being there when I needed her while Emmett was deployed, but . . . Emmett and I need some time to learn how to be us again. And now, with Jazzy, we needed to learn how to be a family, just us three."

Bella frowned.

"I'm sorry. I'm putting my foot in my mouth again, aren't I?"

"No," she said, shaking her head.

"No, I am. I'm sitting here complaining about my husband and my mother, and you're doing this alone."

"Not like I have a choice."

"I suppose you don't."

Jasmine started fussing, so Rosalie leaned forward and scooped the tiny newborn into her arms. Bella bent her lips in front of her as she watched Rosalie raise her shirt and allow Jasmine to latch onto her nipple. She looked up, noticing Bella watching, and smiled.

"Have you thought about what you're going to do now? I mean, you're what, twenty weeks along?"

"Almost nineteen." Bella wrapped her arms around her knees. "I've been thinking about finding my own place to live."

"You have?"

She nodded.

"Have you told your dad?"

"No," she scoffed.

"Why not?"

"Because I'll know what he'll say."

"What's that?"

"He'll say I can't handle a baby on my own, that I need to let him, Jay, and Alice help me, and that it's okay to rely on them."

"He's not wrong."

"No, he's not, but I spent ten years relying on someone else. Maybe it's time I learn how to rely on myself for a change."

"Izzy, you know we loved Carlisle, right?"

She nodded.

"Look, I'm going to say this, and if you get mad, you get mad, but Carlisle . . . he wasn't the saint you thought he was."

"What are you talking about?"

"I mean, when you two first started dating, he monopolized all your attention, almost to the point of being controlling."

"No, he didn't."

"He did, Izzy. Remember when we were going to go to Minneapolis for that concert, and he threw a fit because we only got tickets for me and you? And what did you do? You gave me your ticket, and I ended up taking Emmett."

"He had told mehe wanted to go, too. I should have bought him a ticket."

"But it was our gift to each other for our birthdays. We always did something special, just you and me. But Carlisle didn't like it, so we had the big party at the Oasis instead."

Bella scoffed and scooted around, dropping her feet off the couch before she stood, grabbing her bag.

"Izzy, don't leave."

"I'm not going to just sit here and listen to you badmouth my husband, Ro. He was the only person who told me I should follow my dreams and go to New York and study ballet. He believed in me, he loved me, and cherished me, Ro. You have no idea who he really was!"

Rosalie stood with Jasmine still in her arms. "Are you sure you did?"

Bella opened her mouth but simply shook her head before she turned and walked out of Rosalie McCarty's house.

—RtW—

She wasn't sure why she found herself parked outside of the Oasis once again, but she did. She climbed out of the car and walked up to the front door, but it was locked. Sighing, she turned back to her car but stopped when she heard the lock turn. Looking over her shoulder, she found Edward pushing the door open.

"Hey," he murmured, looking around. "You okay?"

She nodded. "Sorry if I'm bothering you."

"You're not. I just wasn't expecting you to come by. It's not the middle of the night," he added teasingly.

Bella tried to smile but found herself overcome with tears instead.

"What's wrong, Izzy?"

She shook her head. "Ro and I kind of got into a fight, I guess."

"What? Why?"

Again, she wasn't sure what to say, how to tell him her allegations about his brother. She was wrong, wasn't she? "It doesn't matter."

"It matters if it upset you."

Bella frowned.

"Okay, if you don't want to tell me, that's fine. Want to come in? I have a turtle cheesecake in the fridge."

"Did you make it?"

"Yep."

"Then okay."

Edward stepped out of the way and gestured for her to enter the building. When she walked past him, she felt his fingers graze against hers, causing her eyes to shift up to his. "You can trust me, Izzy."

"I can?"

"Yes."

"I want to, Edward, I do, but I don't know." Bella sighed and sat on the stool, leaning her back against the bar as her hands came down to rest against her belly. "I got into the laptop. You were right about the code."

"And what did you find?"

"I haven't looked at anything yet."

"Why not?"

She shook her head. "I couldn't get past his wallpaper."

"His wallpaper?"

Bella sighed. "You know, the background."

"Yes, Izzy, I do know what wallpaper means. What was his wallpaper?"

"A picture of us from our first Christmas in New York. Like most tourists, we went to Rockefeller Center to go ice skating. It was so cold and had been snowing, and . . ." Her eyes closed. "And he held me close, so very close, and as he pressed his lips against mine, he took a selfie. The man hated selfies, but he took one of us in Rockefeller Center and used it as his wallpaper."

"Hmm."

Bella opened her eyes, finding Edward standing on the other side of the bar. "Sorry."

"Why are you apologizing?"

"I don't know."

Edward laughed and reached into the mini-fridge, pulling out the turtle cheesecake. He placed it on the bar before cutting two pieces, putting them on plates before returning the rest to the fridge. He grabbed two bottles of water and two forks before taking the stool beside her.

"So, you saw the picture and couldn't search his laptop?"

"Yeah, basically."

"Okay."

"What?"

"Nothing," he said, placing the fork on her plate.

"Clearly, it's not nothing."

"I don't want to fight, Izzy."

"I mean, I don't either, but it seems everyone has something to argue about with me today."

Edward pressed his lips together.

"Just spit it out already, Edward."

"Fine." He placed his fork down before he turned and looked at her. "You idolized him, Izzy. You act like he'd never done anything wrong, yet he fucking lied to you for five years about paying Esme's rent."

"I know that."

"Do you? Because you talk about him like . . . like he was God himself."

"No, I don't."

"Okay." Edward picked up his fork and cut into his slice of cheesecake. "Eat, Izzy."

"Suddenly, I'm not very hungry."

Edward's eyes closed for a minute before he laid his fork back on his plate again and looked back at her. "I loved my brother, Izzy. I did, but there were times when he was an asshole."

"No, he wasn't."

"Yes, he was." Edward stood. "Before you left, he came to me, Izzy. He told me I was never allowed to speak to you again. You were my best friend, and he told me I wasn't allowed to talk to you."

"Because he couldn't trust you. We couldn't trust you."

"Then you should have been the one who told me you never wanted to talk to me, Iz, not him."

"You . . ." Bella shook her head. "You don't understand how hard it was for him."

"I lived in that house, too, Izzy."

"I didn't mean it like that."

"I know you didn't, but you don't know how many beatings I took for him so he wouldn't get hurt. I took every fucking blow to spare him. He was my little brother, Izzy, and I loved him; I did. But he never gave a shit about what I went through for him, and when I turned to drugs and alcohol to . . . to fucking cope with the abuse, he kicked me to the curb and took you with him."

Bella frowned.

Edward picked up his plate and walked behind the bar, tossing it into the trash. "I'm sorry. Just forget I said anything."

"Ro said he controlled me."

He shifted his eyes to her. "She did, huh?"

Bella nodded. "Do you think she's right?"

Edward sighed.

"That's what I thought."

"What do you want me to say, Izzy?"

"I don't know," she whimpered, standing to walk to the jukebox. "He wasn't like that with me. He was tender, loving, and gentle and always told me how beautiful I was. With me, he . . . he was vulnerable and emotional, and . . . and sensitive. Was it all a lie, Edward? Is that what you're saying? That he never loved me? That the last ten-plus years we spent together were nothing more than a fucking lie."

"Of course not."

She looked at him.

"He loved you, Izzy, nobody is saying otherwise. But he wasn't perfect. He was possessive over you. Do you really not see it?"

She frowned. "He was my husband, Edward."

"And before he was your husband?"

Bella scoffed. "I don't know. He . . . he loved me, Edward."

"He did."

"Why are you saying it like that?"

"Like what?"

"Like he didn't. You don't think he loved me?"

"No, I do think he loved you, Izzy. I think he was so madly, passionately in love with you that he wanted you for himself, and no one else could even have a small piece of you."

"And that was wrong?"

"No, but it's not healthy to isolate you from everyone who loves you."

Bella shook her head. "No, no, no, he didn't do that, Edward. I was the one who refused to come back. He never stopped me from coming back here."

"Let me guess. You could come back, but he wasn't coming with you, so you stayed."

"It wasn't like that."

"Okay."

"Stop saying okay like that!"

Edward pressed his lips together.

Bella scoffed and shook her head. "I should have known better than to come here."

"I'm not going to lie to you, Izzy. Not like he did."

"You didn't know him the way I did," she cried. "He loved me, Edward. He loved me."

"Never said he didn't, Izzy. But have you ever considered that he wasn't the only person who loves you?"

Bella opened her mouth once, twice, a third time, but when the words refused to be spoken, she simply shook her head and walked to the door. When she looked over her shoulder, she found him standing next to the bar, his eyes locked on her.

"I'm sorry."

And before he could say anything else, she left.

—RtW—

Instead of going home, Bella found herself parked in front of the little café on Mulberry Street in Minneapolis. She could see Esme inside, standing behind the counter with Garrett. Her phone was pressed against her ear, and she was nodding, and for a moment, Bella considered leaving, but instead, she climbed out of the car, walked across the street, and into the small, little diner.

Esme and Garret turned to the door, both smiling and looking happy to see her. Would they, though, if they knew who she really was? If they knew she was the one who paid Esme's rent?

"Hey, long time no see." Garrett walked over and motioned for her to sit wherever she wanted while Esme hurried into the back. "Sorry, she's on the phone with her mom."

"Oh." Bella slid into the first booth she reached, placing her keys on the table. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, of course it is. They have a complicated relationship."

Bella nodded. "I'm sorry, I'm being nosy."

"It's okay. We're old friends, right?"

"Right."

"Of course, I think it would only solidify our budding friendship if we knew each other's names, don't you think?"

Bella laughed. "That's the rumor. I'm Izzy."

"Nice to meet you, Izzy. Name's Garrett; I'm a Scorpio and enjoy long walks in the rain."

"That's a lot to remember."

Garrett chuckled. "I know. What can I get you to drink?"

"Oh, um, I'll have iced tea. Unsweet, please."

"Coming right out. You remember where the menus are."

Bella nodded and picked one out, opened it, but instead of reading, she found herself watching the door to the back room, waiting for Esme to come back out. And a few minutes later, she did, her cheeks red and splotchy. Garrett placed the glass of iced tea in her hand, whispering to her before pressing his lips against her forehead.

Esme nodded at whatever he said before she walked over and placed Bella's drink in front of her. "Hey, I was hoping you'd be back."

"Why?"

Esme grinned. "You seemed nice."

"Oh." Bella bit the inside of her lip before she held her hand out. "I'm Izzy."

She wrapped her fingers around hers. "Nice to meet you, Izzy. I'm Esme."

"Nice to meet you, too."

"Do you know what you want?"

"Oh, um, I haven't even really looked."

Esme laughed and leaned against the other side of the table. "Well, you had the turkey club last time, right?"

"You remembered my order?"

"I did. Normally, I don't, but you made an impression on me and Garrett," she said, gesturing toward the counter where he was rolling silverware. "Anyway, you had the club last night, so maybe you should try something different. Do you like soup?"

"Depends on what kind?"

"That's fair, that's fair. Garrett just happened to make a batch of his famous broccoli cheddar soup. How about it, Izzy? Want a bowl?"

"Sounds delicious."

"It is so good," she groaned. "I'll have it out in few minutes, okay?"

Bella nodded and watched as she walked over and placed her hand on Garrett's back before slipping her ticket into his hand. She leaned in and pressed her lips against his cheek before taking over the silverware while he hurried into the kitchen to prepare her soup.

There was an ease to their relationship, a normalcy she had once thought she had with Carlisle. Their relationship had been easy, too, hadn't it? They loved each other, needed each other, only each other, but maybe that was the problem. Maybe that's why Carlisle had grown tired of her, why he told his co-workers that she was bitchy and complained all the time. Maybe she hadn't been giving him what he needed. Instead of being so focused on having a baby, she had driven him away.

"Here you go." Esme placed the white ceramic bowl on the table, followed by a plate of garlic bread. "Hey, Izzy, you okay?"

"What?" she whispered, not realizing she'd been weeping softly.

Esme slid into the other side of the booth and reached for her hand. "You're crying."

"I . . ." Bella shook her head. "No, I'm not okay. I'm . . . My husband died a few months ago."

"Oh, Izzy, I'm sorry."

"Thanks." Bella unrolled her silverware and used her napkin to wipe away her tears. "We'd been together for a long time, and I'm starting to think he wasn't the man I thought he was."

"Oh," she cringed. "I get that."

"You do?" she asked, her eyes flickering to Garrett.

"Not with him, but . . ." Esme leaned back. "My dad — my biological father — popped back into my life suddenly. I haven't seen or heard from him in eight years, and now, he's calling and stopping by my apartment. And today, I found out my mother is the one who told him where I live and gave him my number."

"You don't get along with him?"

"He wasn't what you would call attentive when I was growing up. Most of this I have only learned in the last few weeks. He was married with two kids when he and my mother started their affair, and hence my birth. He refused to leave his wife and strung my mother along until I was almost ten years old. That's when she finally had enough and ended it. But he still came around every few months, brought me presents, and promised me the moon. She remarried when I was fifteen, and it's not a coincidence that he stopped coming around. And then, about a month ago, he started calling me, wanting to make it up to me. I just . . . I can't handle him right now, but Mom thinks I should give him a chance, because he's my father," she said, rolling her eyes. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make this about me."

"It's okay," she murmured. "You said you have . . . you have siblings?"

"Half-brothers, two of them, actually."

"Oh, wow."

Esme sighed and shook her head. "It's just been a lot to take in all at once, you know? I almost lost my apartment, and school is kind of kicking my ass. And then I find out that I have these brothers out there. It's . . . it's just been a lot."

"But you didn't lose your apartment, right? You . . . you said almost lost your apartment."

"Yeah, last week, my landlord called and said there'd been some kind of glitch in the system, and my rent had been paid in full."

"That's good, right?"

"Of course." Esme slid out of the booth. "I should let you eat before your soup gets cold. Save room for dessert, okay? We have pumpkin pie."

"Sounds delicious."

"Let me know if you need anything, Izzy."

"Yeah, thanks."

After finishing all her soup and both pieces of garlic bread, she dug some cash out of her pocket and left it on the table, slipping out of the café before Esme or Garrett could force a slice of pie on her.

As she made the drive back to Woodbury, she found herself wondering if leaving New York had been the right decision after all.

Thank you for all the AMAZING reviews! Big, huge shout out to Sunflower Fran for cleaning through my mess and helping me get it right. She's amazing. See you next Wednesday!